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Barbatos and 23?
Barbatos + 23 | "Cellar Door" - Spiritbox
cw: mentions of Lesson 16/MC death
"Have you ever seen your own dead body before?"
If you had been aiming to catch Barbatos off-guard for once, you may have just succeeded. The demon nearly chokes on his tea, causing him to mutter an "excuse me" before clearing his throat as he regains his composure.
He pats his lips with a napkin, looking at you with both curiosity and understanding. "I assume there is something weighing on your mind?"
"Mm." You find yourself gazing out the large castle window, the moonlight bathing the Devildom foliage. Despite all the time that has passed, there are nights you find yourself there again, staring at your own mangled body at the bottom of the stairs. How, for a moment, two of you existed in one space — one just resurrected, the other at death's door. "…So, have you?"
"…I have." Barbatos leans back in his seat, gaze still fixed on you. "More than once. The benefit of being able to see through space and time, I suppose."
"Right. I guess you get used to it. Or maybe it didn't jar you much in the first place." There is hint of resentment in your voice, a tightness in your chest as you turn back to meet those dark eyes of his. Maybe bringing this up was a bad idea. Why did you think the demon with control over space-time could ever feel the same way as you?
"I wouldn't say that." Barbatos taps a finger on the table, a sign that he was trying to form his words carefully. "I wasn't always the calm and reassured demon you see before you. I used to be quite an arrogant fool, in fact. I have made mistakes, grave ones."
You remember him speaking before of atonement, a past he was determined to rectify.
With some apprehension, he slowly reaches his hand out to cover your own. His voice is soft as he asks, "Do you want to talk about it?"
"I thought I was over it." The words leave your lips before you can even think, as if Barbatos' simple question unlocked something deep within your soul, breaking bindings that had long buried despair. "But I'm not. After all of this time, I still think about it. I went to the past, I was killed, I was … I was brought back to life only to see another version of myself, to see me … bleeding and mangled and dead." Your voice wavers, but you're determined to hold on. Fingers curls into your palm, nails digging into flesh. "And you … you said you just. Changed the timeline. Collapsed it, made it that this was the real one, that I was the one and only me. But am I? Or," a shaky breath, "… did I just slip into another version of myself? Did a part of me really die back then?" Your voice strains. "I have so many questions, and I'm afraid to know the answers to any of them!"
Barbatos is quiet at first, though his hand still covers yours. His expression is unreadable and distant, and you again wonder if he can understand at all. What was one death to a timeless being?
"My first encounter with death, of my own death…is something I will never forget." He squeezes your hand gently, meeting your gaze. "I … won't speak in detail of it, but it was harrowing. The first time I truly came face-to-face with consequences for my own actions." He shakes his head with a somber chuckle. "Would you believe that I still didn't learn my lesson? Yet, despite all the deaths of self I have either seen through visions or came to encounter personally thereafter, it is the one I remember most vividly."
Barbatos moves now to be next to you, taking both of your hands in his. "My dear, I apologize for the role I played in all of this, and I'm not sure if I can provide all the answers you seek. But I can tell you that you are not alone. Time and space are tricky things, and what you went through is something that would break most. But here you are, still standing strong. " His features soften. "And, there is one thing I know for certain. One answer I can provide."
"What?" You hate how your voice cracks, but you lean in closer to Barbatos' warmth.
"There will always be parts of ourselves that die and are reborn. Such is the nature of the universe." He squeezes your hands again. "But you are very much you. You are meant to be here, and that will never change."
#this one got a little long oops#hard to wrap up such heavy discussions ;;#obey me#obey me!#obey me swd#obey me shall we date#omswd#obey me nightbringer#obey me nb#obey me barbatos#om! barbatos#obey me barbatos x mc#obey me barbatos x reader#obey me fic#obey me fanfic#obey me drabble#writings#drabble#100k tears celebration
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Thinking lately about Peach and Mario’s relationship in my version where he’s mute, and how Luigi (who later grows to love Peach of course) is actually very hesitant at first. He tries not to let on too much, because he can see that Mario is totally enamored by her, but he’s also well aware that she’s a literal princess. She’s rich and powerful, and that has historically not led to great things, in his opinion. And he just has a general tendency to be more careful and naturally distrustful as a way to keep himself safe.
So he watches them very closely, tries to make sure his brother isn’t being taken advantage of. He knows that Mario can be pretty vulnerable (as much as he tries to hide it) and tends to look at things through rose colored glasses when he falls this hard. Luigi just doesn’t want his brother getting hurt. She seems nice and all, but still…
He’s never seen her pressure Mario to talk, at least. Sometimes his partners have tried that in the past, and Mario’s so in love that he tries it just for them, just to make them feel special, even though he secretly hates it. Because of course he’d do anything for the people he loves. Luigi wishes he’d just take care of himself for once instead.
Over time he starts seeing Peach use occasional sign language. Nothing too complex, just a word here or there, and it’s clunky and sometimes wrong, but part of him appreciates the effort. He’s still not sure, though. He still doesn’t like that she has enough power to kick them out of the kingdom whenever she wants. He still doesn’t like that she could break Mario’s heart.
But then one day the three of them are just hanging around the castle, and Peach says some offhand joke, and Mario just bursts into laughter. Loud, joyful belly laughs that echo in the corridor. Luigi just stares at him in awe, because he’s the only one who has ever heard Mario laugh like that. Everyone else gets a short, breathy sound that ends before it begins. Everyone else gets a fake laugh. Except Luigi.
And, apparently, except Peach.
That’s the moment he realizes that Peach is okay, because if Mario feels safe enough around her to let her in, then there must be something about her. Luigi trusts that Mario can make that decision to let someone in like that. And he starts seeing it, seeing her kindness and her genuine care, her brilliance, the way she looks at Mario like he’s everything. More than that, he can see the happiness in his brother, and he thinks that’s probably the best part of it. That, and getting to share his laughter with someone new.
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prompt #46 "Sirius is showing Regulus’ baby pictures to James and Reg is MORTIFIED" for the @marauderswithpalestineproject !! 🍉
thank you @kat-m-toast for the donation (and the prompt, which was just SO up my alley, i loved it) and also thanks to everyone else who donated and participted! 💕
and as a bonus a little closer look at those baby pictures :)
#MWPProject 2024 Fandom Initiative#MWPProject2024#extra shoutout to my sister for letting me use some of our shared baby pictures as reference here#Sirius black#regulus black#regulus black fanart#sirius black fanart#marauders#marauders era#marauders fanart#james potter#james potter fanart#black brothers#jegulus#hp#mine#my art#i tried really hard to put remus into a Situation in one of the photos in the back again but it just didnt fit this time :((#breaking my streak of long remus in confined photo spaces in fanart#i spent SO long on this because i got a little too carried away with all the details oops#james has the same little heart thing hanging in his flat in one of my other drawings btw i thought it was cute#(ignore the fact that wrote draw instead of paint i couldnt change it anymore since it looked weird when i did)#(also dont think too hard about who might have taken and lovingly labelled all of those baby pictures of regulus and sirius)
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super disorganized sketch page because i do what i want
#my art#not sure if i wanna tag these... hrm#i wonder if alt text shows up in search results.... shudders#well anyway. i wanna ramble about these!!#for willy mafton: i've been working on designing more of the human cast. mainly all the big name important ones#it's been a slow process + a little challenging but i like getting the chance to practice drawing faces! :]#in regards to His design specifically.. it's very much based off of his movie apperance#but with a reference to that Classic sprite thrown in#bc i thought making him a little cartoony and inhuman would fit him :] but idk im not an expert on his character or anything#about the rabbit lady: i forgot how i had that idea initially but it ended up looking so fucking cool tbh#im always a fan of making her design less of a feminine eye candy type of design and more of a Spooky Murderer type >:3c#it also gave me the idea to try making some similar designs for the glams...#but if i do that im not gonna be giving them that vintage rubber mask look... since they're meant to be super flashy and high tech looking#so i was thinking they could have faces with more of a silicone texture.. and that have a style based more off of their in game art work :]#so they'd be like giant dolls with weird moving faces rather than having a vintage animatronic look#also that van in the bottom middle is 100% a homage to a specific user i wont be mentioning but iykyk HFJZJFJF#ANYWAY the 🌞🌜 stuff: dont be weird about it please HFJZJG#im aware that these tags are very easy to ignore but like. genuinely pls dont be weird about them#dont romanticize it. its not meant to be ''y/ndere'' or anything like that#its actually a bit personal to me so like... interpret it as you like but be aware its not meant to be a happy or positive thing#anyway i think thats all i have to say... i've been trying to branch out a tiny bit regarding the things i draw#it's always nice to challenge yourself even if its tough... especially if its tough!!#i mainly draw just for my own sake but i hope ppl see something they like here#these tags got so fucking long oops... i'll stop now JFKZJFKSJGKSJG
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While he doesn't quite confirm it in canon (he could technically still just be kidding about BOTH parts and his right eye is fine), I love the thought that Boothill actually did lose his right eye based on his "Knowledge" voiceline.
Because after this line, I actually did go back to rewatch his trailer, and yeah. Even when Boothill is literally flipped upside-down, his bangs stay in place. We never see the right side of his face to confirm it one way or the other.
EDIT: So it turns out you CAN see juuuust enough of his right eye under his hair in-game to confirm it's there and looks the same as his left. I am going to promptly file this under canon things I choose to ignore because hc is more fun, but wanted to add this in because I don't like spreading misinformation. Thank @ultigoblin for the info everyone!
And obviously being a Galaxy Ranger comes with a lot of opportunities to lose body parts. Especially given the people he's after, I would not be surprised at all to find out Boothill lost it in some bounty hunting gone wrong haha
But my personal favorite thought is that he lost it during the rebellion on Aeragan-Epharshel.
Boothill brushes aside what happened to his home, he'll openly say it's gone now but after that he just kinda moves on. He doesn't say what happened to it, and I'm sure he would gloss over the loss of his body and his eye the same way. And combined with how he always talks about himself as a Galaxy Ranger, always about the here and now, I feel like it's kinda easy to forget sometimes that oh, right.
This guy fought in warfare.
His character stories don't go into detail either, but it IS described as guerilla warfare. And it makes it clear there was a large technology gap between the IPC and Aeragan-Epharshel. It's possible they didn't have the means for things like cybernetic prosthetics- or if they did, it would have become harder to implement them during a rebellion, with the IPC breathing down their necks.
And I feel like in order to have a cybernetic prosthetic put in, the wound probably has to be healed a certain way. Like it takes medical intervention. There's a whole plan and procedure for it. And especially if Aeragan-Epharshel didn't have that technology in the first place, Boothill wouldn't have had the chance to heal it that way. Like it healed fine, just not in a way that allowed a cybernetic replacement.
So when one of the IPC shot out his right eye (with a "warning shot" of all things), it was pretty much already a given that he was going to be blind on that side from then on.
When he forced the procedure to change his body, there was nothing they could do for that empty right socket. To this day, it's still sealed over with a patch...probably with something rude drawn on it smzjmsmsks
And even though Hoyo is always giving really cool unrealistic designs for eyes, I do like to think his left eye is a cybernetic- that's what the crosshair is there for. It's to make sure Boothill's aim stays consistent and as good as it is when he's in top shape, even through pain or hindered vision. Like it's an aide, yes, but the skill is all his from years of hard work.
But even with all the replacements, all of the upgrades.
Behind that crosshair, he made sure to keep the natural color of his own eyes.
#honkai star rail#hsr#boothill#hsr boothill#honkai star rail boothill#this got long oops#i just like to yap skzksmskx#this is one of those things that has become canon to Me#I'm...not sure if the terms soldier or war or war veteran technically quite apply here#but regardless like. yeah. he was in warfare. Boothill has probably seen A Lot even before the canonfire that wiped out his home.#I feel like he would doodle something crude on the patch just because he's him zjzkzksmksks#although actually#I wonder now if he would have let his little daughter draw on it instead...
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for the Sports Anime Olympics week, day 3... Ina11 Superpesis AU!
pesäpallo (a mix of baseball and a local game "kuningaspallo" from late 1800s) is the national sport of Finland, and Superpesis is the highest national league here. ig started suggesting me superpesis videos a while ago, so when the prompts were up for the week, I instantly knew what I wanted to draw for the AU!
my own knowledge is mostly based on playing pesis in elementary school gym lessons, but it's said to be paced faster than baseball, and apparently the pro players dive a lot? and home runs require a bit more tactic since you can't just blast off the ball with all your strenght.
ngl, the outifts look a bit simple to my own eye since all the superpesis outfits have a lot of ad logos which I was too lazy to draw.. but it was fun turning the soccer outfits into pesis uniforms!
and now the main reason for this AU: among the pesis videos I've seen, there's a specific place with the best videos: a stadium/play field in the west called "island field" where a river parts and goes past two sides of the small island the field is on. knowing that 1) there are no fences around the field, 2) if the ball hits in on the first bouce it basically won't be out no matter how far it goes, and 3) they have cameras set specifically to the river... it tells a lot what sometimes happens there:
here is the og video (and you can also find other cool clips on that account if you want to see pesis in action! they post mainly official league stuff, but the video side is partly curated for curious people)
instagram
#oops this got little long... all my insp for the week went into this one au...#no read more this time guys I'm going to make yall at least browse through (in hopes that you'll watch the video)#((except that I forgot the “expand” thing lol oops))#these imgs are set on 2nd season (with random kudou as the referee because why not)#core memory: it was a tradition for 6th graders to play a friendly game against teachers on the last day of school before summer vacation#also in the art high school I went to.. we played against teachers before summer holidays... and the winners got baguettes as a prize#I don't know anyone who watches superpesis but I think almost all finns have childhood memories around the game#animeolympics2024#own art#inazuma eleven#Instagram
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55! My lucky number
lalalalala i like u!
this one uhmmmm.. halloween even tho it's december josuyasu 👍
except i realized too late that i was thinking of lovey dovey mv LOL.. but whatever they can be roly poly too i guess
#SRY IT TOOK SO LONG LOL#been waitingggg for time to draw them for this but then i got distracted and drew them in totally different scenario the other day OOPS!#but yea i combined the mvs in my head or something#bc i was like 'yes disco and crazy noisy bizarre town is. kind of disco maybe'#and the halloween art by kohei ashiya for the zombie part!!!#obsessed with that art likke omg couples costume..... wow......#but no the zombies are supposed to be at the club not at the disco#struggling like crazy to draw them in these outfits for some reason i give up 😞😞#lyrics i dont think fit them much even i was mostly thinking mv#except i wasnt even thinking of the right one so 😭😭...#i think the one part that fits is the part like 'idk what to do! im going crazy i cant lose u'#bc that is what happened when okuyasu died for a little!#him telling a like 10yr old to STFU would be funnier to me if i wasnt busy punching the walls#jojos bizarre adventure#jjba fanart#josuyasu#okuyasu nijimura#josuke higashikata
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Rei is late for the first time since he's started working at Poirot.
Neither terrorism attacks nor hostage crises have affected his being on time. Not even a runaway horse managed to keep him.
But he spends one night with Akai Shuichi, and his perfect record is ruined. Asshole.
Despite his calling ahead, Azusa gives him a worried look. He stops briefly to give her a mock-embarrassed apology, turning up the charm. Promises he won't be late again. Then he's off to the storage room.
He needs to fetch his ingredients and get to baking.
Rei's going to find Akai and strangle him, just as soon as his shift is over.
.
Roughly 12 hours earlier.
There's a gun aimed right between his eyes.
That in itself is nothing unusual. The situation could be worse, really.
After all, his own gun is pointed right back at Akai Shuuichi's annoyingly smug face. At this distance, he'll be able to read his movement, react in time. He'd rather talk, but if the sniper fires, Rei will drag him into hell too.
Blood for blood. Mutually assured destruction.
(His excitement is slightly dampened by the fact he's rather certain Akai won't kill him.)
"Caught you." Rei can't help the satisfaction slipping into his voice.
Finally. After three years, their game of cat and mouse is over. He'll have his answers.
The most pressing of which-
"Where's Scotch?"
The words cut into the silence, sharpened by fear. His best friend might still be dead, after all. (If he isn't, why hasn't he contacted Rei?)
It's not like he has much to go on to suspect he's alive, besides the fact that Akai himself came back from the dead. Rei can only hope he brought Hiro along.
Before Akai answers, there's a click. The world becomes dizzyingly bright, expanding past the muzzles of their guns.
Rei blinks the disorientation away. Spots silhouettes from the corner of his eyes. He hasn't met them before, but he's familiar, of course, with the owners of this house. How long have the Kudos been watching them?
While he's busy processing that revelation, Akai holsters his gun. Part of Rei hates how nonchalant Akai is about all of this, exposing himself so easily. Like Rei isn't a threat, won't put a bullet in his head because of a couple of witnesses. (Hates that he's probably right.)
"I propose a trade. For old time's sake."
(The words leave a bitter taste with Rei. They haven't exchanged anything, not goods, not words, not warmth, in years.)
Akai snaps open a cheap flip phone - likely a burner. His thumb hovers over the call button. The fingers of his other hand, long and dextrous, wrap around the barrel of Rei's P7M8, tugging gently, but insistently.
Rei considers his options. He holds no illusions - without his gun, he won't be able to dispatch Akai. But he's more than capable of holding his own for long enough to escape, if need be.
(He could just fire, right now. It wouldn't have to be lethal. Could take the phone by force. But chances are, whatever information Akai has, he'll be much less willing to share it with a bullet wound.)
Rei looks up at Akai, meets his green, green eyes. The part of him that shows genuine emotions, some days. (Not that Rei is one to talk.)
Finds Akai looking...tired. He wears a small smile, but it's worn around the edges. There's no open mockery, no quiet amusement. It's just the two of them, and an offer.
Rei lets go of the gun. He hopes he won't be needing it, tonight.
.
Akai helps him up, his hand warm and steady. As soon as he's upright, Rei lets go - he can walk perfectly fine by himself, thank you very much.
The FBI agent shows him to the living room, tells Rei to make himself a home. After all, the Kudos have promised to give him some privacy, for his chat.
For a moment, the sniper lingers, gaze caught by the phone. Then Akai casts his eyes down, and leaves Rei alone.
Silence, if not for the crackle of the damned fireplace, fills the room. Rei hesitates for a moment. Then he presses 'call' for the only number in the directory.
The phone crackles with static, beeps as it establishes connection, then-
"Hi, Zero."
The world stops moving. Relief floods his system, sapping the tension from his muscles. He leans against the soft backrest, breathing freely for the first time in a good long while.
.
Their talk is short. Rei asks some questions to establish it's truly Hiro, not an imposter (though that would make a very poor basis for the negotiation the Kudos have planned).
Hiro tersely explains some things, although he isn't allowed to give away much. He's in the FBI's witness protection program. That they're talking at all is a massive bending of the rules, authorized only because of Akai's insistence. He claimed it was of critical importance to their mission.
It certainly is, to Rei.
.
The next hours are a blur.
The sofa dips when Akai sits down at his side, the Kudos already having taken their seats on the other side of the small coffee table. (He wishes Akai would sit farther away. That he be less reasonable in his assumptions and demeanour.)
It's somewhat surreal to think that celebrity actress Kudo Yukiko of all people gives him a steaming cup of chamomile lavender honey tea. Good thing working with Vermouth has knocked most of the starstruck behaviour out of him; his younger self would have made a fool of himself.
He can't afford that. After all, they are seeking him out in an official capacity, requesting PSB senior agent Furuya Rei's cooperation.
It certainly is strange for them to reach out through him, considering his known enmity of Akai. But he's a professional - he might be reluctant to work with the man, but it's not his decision to make. He'll relay the offer, unless it's utter garbage.
So he pays attention while they share what they can of their plan to take down the organisation. Listens to their pledge for equal contribution, and their promise of crediting the PSB with a successful operation; an obvious play intended to soothe the wounded pride of the Japanese, after years of illegal activity. But it's the least they can do.
If one were to ask Rei, the offer is certainly worth considering. The PSB has been working the case for five years now, and while they have gathered intel, and managed to place Bourbon as a vital asset, they're barely closer to shutting the organization down than when they started. It's sprawling, interconnected with various businesses, and, worst of all, active internationally. If they don't cut off all its heads at the same time, odds are the members will simply flee to a different branch. Maybe lie low for a bit, and then go about their business with renewed vigour.
It seems like an international cooperation might just be necessary to achieve this task. So he'll be their messenger; it's above his pay grade to decide whether to take them up on the offer or not.
Though privately, he hopes his superiors agree; every day they lose ground to the organization. By this point, Rei doesn't really care anymore whose plan it is that finally does the organization in, as long as it gets done. (And as long as he and the PSB are finally treated with the appropriate amount of respect.)
Still, he can't help thinking they wouldn't be having this conversation now, if these foreign agencies had respected the official channels ahead of time. Maybe Hiro could be hiding in Nagano then, with his brother, instead of being confined to the other half of the globe. In the US, of all the terrible places to be. He shivers.
.
By the time they're done it's very late. Rei is already half-dozing off, despite his best efforts to stay awake. It would be highly irresponsible to drive in this state, so he's asked their hosts for a coffee (he's sure a place housing Akai will have more than enough of it to go around). He'll just rest his eyes for a moment, until they're back.
.
Something light is being dropped on him, almost stirs him to consciousness. But it's warm, soft, and smells of huddling together in an abandoned apartment.
(Of long-forgotten small comforts.)
Not a threat.
Thus satisfied, his body collects its due, and he's dragged back under, into deep, dreamless sleep.
.
Which brings Rei to the reason he's late.
Someone, and he has a very good idea of who it was, put his phone in airplane mode, drew all the curtains shut, and kept the rest of the house quiet.
(Let him sleep for as long as he needed to.)
So Rei wakes up with a start, in a barely familiar place, the digital clock on the wall indicating it's way past opening time for Poirot. Shit.
He grabs his belongings, pistol, clothes and keys and all, and dashes out the door. He swears he can see Okiya - no, Akai, he was right, damn it - look down on him from that favourite window of his. Asshole. Contrary to him Rei has a job, a cover to maintain. He'll get back at him, yet.
.
It should probably worry him that he can perform the drive to Poirot on autopilot. Too many late-night stakeouts turning into impromptu naps, requiring him to drive straight to work after. So much trouble, over nothing. If Akai had just cooperated sooner-
Then, what? Rei hadn't managed to track him down before his supposed death, and the less interaction there is between Okiya Subaru and Amuro Tooru, the better for both of them. He grinds his teeth, barely manages to brake in time for a redlight.
(Hates that he understands the caution, to a degree.)
.
The universe really is conspiring against him, today.
After the lunchtime rush, a certain pocket-sized detective is ushered in through the door, followed by his guardian and her best friend. The kid gives him odd looks all throughout ordering lunch, too sharp in a way that makes the hairs at the back of his neck stand in up. Rei gives him his sunniest smile, and an extra packet of sugar. He's played games with Gin and Vermouth in worse conditions; he won't yield to a particularly precocious six-year-old.
Despite getting more sleep than the last three nights combined, he's not feeling too well. A single good night's rest can't undo weeks of insomnia. If anything, it only makes apparent what he's lacking.
He finds his mind wandering, glad the preparation of food comes automatically, by now. Whisk and mix and pour. Fry, remove from the pan...
"...uro? You seem unwell."
Too-familiar green eyes stare back at him, bags under the eyes and all. Rei barely manages not to flinch.
Of all the people to catch him spacing out, it just has to be Akai's little sister. The gods must truly hate him.
"Ah, miss Sera. I apologize, I was just pondering some new options for our menu." He winks, gives her his most dazzling smile. "The chamomile lavender honey tea cake has me under its spell."
In response, she just wrinkles her nose, unimpressed. Squints at him with those jade eyes that always see through him too easily.
"Are you sure you're not running a fever? It seems a little warm in here already, yet you're working in a sweater."
Rei blinks at that. The temperature seems fine to him. Azusa hasn't said anything about it either.
"I appreciate the concern, but I assure you, I'm perfectly fine. Now, what can I get you?"
One slice of red velvet cake (of course - why did they even keep that on the menu?) and a macchiato later he's rid of her.
For now, at least - she's joined her friends at the window seats, and judging by the way she keeps sneaking glances at him when she thinks he isn't looking, he hasn't seen the last of her yet.
Still, her questions are odd. Surely he doesn't look that terrible?
(Vermouth has taught him some of her secrets; he's been concealing the shadows under his eyes for a while now. Nobody's ever found him out. Why is it now that people notice?)
.
He continues to work mindlessly, unfocused. This damn shift just doesn't seem to want to end.
He just about manages to avoid knocking Ran out for leaning over the counter, into his space. She remains blissfully unaware of the danger she just escaped, smiling brightly, kindly.
"Excuse me, I have a question."
Rei closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, counts to four. Smiles at the girl. "Go ahead", he says, continuing to whisk some cake batter.
Ran leans in closer, conspiratorially.
"Masumi is too shy to ask" - that's a bold-faced lie, if he's ever heard one, and he's something of an expert on the matter - "but she'd love to know where you got that sweater."
Now, Ran's a lovely young lady, always eager to help. It's a pity she's being manipulated for Sera's gain. Because there has to be more to the question, even if Rei can't see it yet.
Of course, he can't tell the girls the truth - Kazami bought it for Bourbon's cover. But the best lies are closest to the truth, so-
"I apologize, but I do not know where it was bought. A friend gave it to me." His best calculated-apologetic smile smoothes the blow, hopefully.
"Oh. I see." Ran visibly deflates. Still, her good manners prevail. "Thank you, though!" And with that, she's heading back to her table.
Strange. What could Sera possibly want with his sweater? If she wanted to track him down, surely there's more efficient ways, and it's not like he doesn't have a dozen similar cream sweaters-
Wait. Cream?
Rei's pretty sure he dressed in black to infiltrate the Kudo manor. He's not been home and he hasn't changed for work.
He manages to supress a groan, but he's sure there's some unpleasant emotion visible on his face.
...he must have grabbed the sweater along with the rest of his belongings in the morning rush.
Now that he's looking at it, it's clearly a little too large for him. It's also warm, fuzzy, soft, and utterly unoffensive. That's probably why it didn't register, before.
The sweater does smell decidedly of Akai - cigarettes and a hint of his obnoxious aftershave. The warm scent of curry is new - though unsurprising, given his foray into cooking. Great. That's why they've been staring at him. Sera likely recognizes the sweater and Conan spends enough time with Akai to know the scent.
His gut instinct is to go change, right now, get rid of the damning piece of connection to the man he has too many conflicting emotions about. But a long-sleeved black turtleneck is hardly appropriate work attire for Poirot. Besides, if he changes now, the pair of detectives watching him will just have their suspicions confirmed.
So he grits his teeth, takes in a deep breath that smells too much like Akai, and gets back to work.
.
Rei does change out of the sweater as soon as he's done with his shift.
(It doesn't help. The scent lingers.)
.
He's tempted to just toss the sweater, but can't help feeling like it would be a waste. It's quality craftsmanship, well-worn but taken care of - this kind of sweater would pill, otherwise.
It really shouldn't be faulted for its owner's flaws.
So he puts the sweater in a bag, intending to have it dry-cleaned and give it back later.
He should really hunt down Akai, too, but if he's honest, he's just too tired. He probably shouldn't even drive, in his condition, but he needs to get to a safe place, to think about the developments of the night.
.
He reports to Kuroda, showers thoroughly, and falls into bed.
.
Rei can't have slept long. The sunset colours the world in blood red hues by the time he wakes up, out of breath, heartbeat too fast.
Visions of smoke and ash cling to him. Explosions, destroying him one by one, until nothing remains but death alone.
Hagiwara and Matsuda, taken by violent flame.
Hiro's remains, crushed and burnt beyond recognition.
Akai's smile, grimly defiant, as he's shot by Kir. He too finds his end in a blaze, lacking glory.
They're gone.
Consumed by the inferno that seems to follow Rei around. Which burns everything he cares about, leaves him freezing in its wake.
(He can't even cry, his tears evaporating in the heat.)
Rei shivers, draws the blankets closer. Hopes for a little bit of cover, a little bit of warmth.
Please. If he could just shake off the nausea. If he could stop his spiralling thoughts. Logically, he knows that's not all true, even if his heart burns. Akai and Hiro aren't dead.
It's a lie, they're alive, it's a lie, they're alive, it's a lie a lie a lie a lie-
A set of sharp barks rips him out of his thoughts, back into the present.
Oh. He's woken Haro.
The little guy stands in front of his bed, ears tucked back and hackles raised. A defiant ball of fluff that cares so much, trying to growl the nightmares away.
(It might just work.)
Slowly, shaking and somewhat off-balance, he reaches down to scoop up his dog. Wiggles the blanket off his shoulders so he may cradle the whining bundle of fur to his chest. It's soothing, to feel the warmth of another living being by his side. They sit, the silence permeated by Haro's huffed breaths. His body heat seeps into Rei's chest, nestles in his heart.
"I apologize for worrying you. I'll be fine, soon."
He's not alone.
Haro nudges his hand, demands to be pet. Rei obliges, of course he does.
He's not alone.
.
Still, the headache is a pain. He won't be able to go back to sleep like this, will need to grab a painkiller.
He makes his way to the kitchen counter, keeping to the walls because he's still somewhat unsteady, carrying his bundle of warmth along.
The dog throws a fit as they pass the bag with Akai's sweater, growling and yapping at it. Despite the circumstances, Rei can't help but smile.
"I'm glad to see we feel the same way about him."
Wait.
Inspiration strikes in the form of a very stupid idea.
Because that sweater, with its stupid mixed scents, reeking of Akai, is proof he didn't just imagine last night's events. Tangible and olfactory and physical proof. If he were to wake from a nightmare, with it by his side...the anger at Akai would surely keep the pain at bay.
It's worth a try.
.
As he goes back to bed, Haro lies down beside him. Rei keeps petting him, one-handedly. With the other, he holds on to a cream sweater that isn't his.
When he breathes, it smells of too-long stakeouts in windy apartments.
Of Rye's extra blankets, the ones he started to bring when he noticed Bourbon always freezing; irritating to no end, how he was always better prepared for cold weather than Rei.
(It smells of Bourbon's cooking, given in exchange for soft blankets.)
Scents of a tentative alliance, as thread-bare as the fabric between them.
Grounded between the warmth of Haro, and the scent of Akai, Rei falls asleep, waiting for the dog days to finally be over.
#we're tackling the original sin#the tea party (dun dun dun)#i'm a little sad that “personalized heating unit (read: Haro)” got left on the cutting room floor#anyways I have a migraine but I want this out so here you go#i realized that I mostly write rei taking care of akai. have some implied akai taking care of rei in this one#sweater weather AU#akam#dcmk#long post#(i would like to formally apologize to squad leader date btw. I promise rei isn't any less upset about his death#but we are having a fire/explosion themed nightmare. i couldn't fit him in. I'm sorry)#(also rei. bit of dick move not to let akai talk to hiro...)#oops you are right mi although I'm not quite sure how to tag for that#um#mention of canon character deaths#specifically matsuda and hagiwara#iris writes fic
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(Spoiler alert: they were not joking😭)
Garraty try to make mentally stable besties challenge GOO‼️‼️‼️
#the long walk#ray garraty#art baker#pete mcvries#stephen king#i really do love making crackposts for the six people in the fandom#fun fact garratys face is the exact same one i made when half jokingly asked baker “does your whole family study up on dying?”#oh & then baker the silly little guy responds. with “have you even seen a cat eat its own young ☺️?”#aaaaaaaaaahhgh#their all so silly hahaha & soooo alive#oop got a lil flumpy their here have a joke YOUR MUM
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@hinnymicrofic May Day 21: Drunk
“Alright, Weasley?” Potter smirked at her. “Not too despairing, I hope? I won’t catch you if you faint.”
“Ha fucking ha, Potter,” Ginny snarled. “Just because your team got this shot doesn’t mean you’ll win. Wait and watch. We’ll be winning today.”
Potter smiled that absolutely infuriating smug smile of his. “You go on dreaming,” he said in a faux soothing voice. “But I have to go fly. And win.”
He flew seemingly erratically and dismantled her teammates’ formation with next to no effort.
Ginny gritted her teeth.
Harry Potter was a legend in quidditch. He’d been selected for his house team in his first year, led Ravenclaw to a victory several times, missed a catch only a handful of times and had been picked as reserve seeker straight out of school by the Pride of Portree before starting for the Ballycastle Bats.
The first time, Ginny had been excited to play him.
That had been before she’d realized what a Merlin damned asshole he was.
Well. Famous prodigy or not, she and her team would beat him and his.
Ginny seized the quaffle mid switch of the Bats’ Chasers. She passed it to Val who passed it back to her right in time and position to score. Fans roared and booed. She turned to Potter and made a violently rude gesture at him.
He only smirked back at her.
For some reason, that sent a shiver down her spine.
The next forty minutes were a deadly dance of taunting and dodging and scoring and flying. Ginny’s blood sang in the air. Flying brought a thrill to her she never got anywhere else, except for from Harry Potter’s scorching glares and mocking.
He seemed to delight in frustrating her. He was edging her, blocking her, ruining her plays ever other second. She couldn’t shake the feeling that he was unnervingly concentrated on her, despite him always being an active seeker in all his matches.
A Bat scored again, and Potter did a loop-de-loop in celebration before shooting in a slanted line towards the centre of the pitch.
Ginny’s heart skipped a beat. The Snitch!
Potter was widely regarded as the best Seeker in the League. Melissa was good, but Ginny wasn’t being cruel when she thought she was no match for him. Their only hope was the score: which was currently two-ten to sixty in the Harpies’ favour.
If Potter caught the Snitch, they would lose.
Ginny dove down, and her stomach dropped and rose all at once at the terror and thrill and joy of the act. She buzzed the opposing chaser, nearly Blatched another, grabbed the quaffle and threw it at the hoops.
It was a long shot – but the keeper had been distracted by the Snitch chase and the quaffle sailed through the left hoop right as Potter’s fist closed around the Snitch.
The spectators roared. There was a great deal of confusion. But finally, the referee declared the Holyhead Harpies to be the winners.
Ginny whooped as she took her victory lap. Her eyes met Potter’s, and she tilted her head towards him cockily. His gaze was burning. Hate and, somehow, admiration. Ginny’s heart flipped unnaturally, and she ignored it as she sped towards her celebrating teammates.
She spent the next few hours at the Holyhead unofficial pub, getting congratulated and mobbed by fans and drunk with her teammates. Vision blurring a little – she’d perhaps had one drink too many – she flooed to the nearest public floo point to her apartment.
Her head spun as she walked back home, dazed and drunk on joy and alcohol.
“Weasley,” came a slurred voice. “If it isn’t the bloody heroine of the hour.”
Ginny turned. If she was drunk, Harry Potter was completely plastered. His hair was more of a rat’s nest than usual, his features were slack, but his green eyes were as blazing as ever.
“Potter. Why, here to expend your Loser’s Lurgy?” She instantly regretted referring to one of Luna’s wild stories. To her surprise, Potter just barked a laugh.
“You’re friends with Luna too, huh?” She stared. Why the hell had she never told Ginny Luna was friends with Quidditch Star Harry Potter? “Nothing like that. Mates an’ me got drunk, and Dad and Mum and Sirius will never let me hear the end of it if I go to them, and Hermione would kill me for drinking dangerously. And Nev’s out of town. So just. . . Wandering ‘round.”
In one sentence Potter had told her more than she ever wanted to know about his life.
“Like I wanted to know, Potter,” she jeered. She turned to go.
“You asked, Weasley.” Came his teasing voice. Ginny pressed her eyes shut furiously. She supposed she had. “Not going to bitch or gloat about your win?”
“Me, gloat?” Ginny’s voice was taut as she went and pressed her finger to his chest. He just smiled at her, giving her that damned smugly superior look she hated. “Says Harry Potter, the sorest winner in the whole world!”
Potter laughed incredulously. “Coming from Ginevra Weasley, the most morally superior too good for everyone player?”
“The worst—”
“Bloody crazy and arrogant—”
“Infuriating asshole—”
“Self-righteous shrew with attitude problems—”
“Smirking like the bloody devil himself, why are you so—” Ginny breathed heavily. “So incredibly good at quidditch—”
“And why are you so. . . .” Potter’s voice dropped to a ragged whisper. “So. . . so fucking pretty?”
Their eyes met. And the next moment, they were kissing.
Potter kissed like a storm. He kissed her like she was the last thing left on earth. He kissed her like she was water in a desert.
Gasping, they tore away from each other as someone called at them to get a room.
This was a terrible idea.
Her brothers would encourage it, which was a warning all in itself. Her parents would be very sternly horrified. They were on opposite teams, facing in the league.
She didn’t care.
He was a drug she wanted to get high, delirious, drunk on.
This was a terrible idea.
“My apartment’s that way,” she said.
#hinny#hinny microfic#fanfic#fanfiction#harry potter#harry james potter#ginny weasley#rivals with benefits#rivals to lovers#got a little too long#oops#seventh in a row!!!#alternate universe#Have a LOT of thoughts about this AU#Last one for a bit
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The Frozen Lake
It was the third day since he had stopped feeling like dying.
About a week ago he had woken up from his far too lifelike fever dream and a few days later the last spikes of the fever itself had been gone too just like the hallucinations it had brought in his sleep.
He still had been sick though and welcomed Rael telling him to stay in bed until he was perfectly healthy again all too eagerly.
While he still sneezed every now and then, it was at least tolerable now, still annoying but he didn’t feel incredibly uncomfortable anymore.
That day, just like the last and also the ones before that, he had awoken late. Against Rael’s order to stay in bed he had found the courage to get up and take a look out of the window. It was a sunny day, which in Coerthas still meant that it was bitterly cold though. But the sun was shining brightly and already high in the sky too which meant it had to be almost midday. He had slept way too long again, way to many hours for a surprisingly dreamless sleep. Or maybe it was exactly the lack of dreams that allowed him to finally rest, after all in the past there rarely had been good ones…
For a moment he considered to go downstairs and ask for a late breakfast if that wasn’t too insolent given the late hour but then a knock sounded from the door.
Quickly he hurried back to bed, just in case it was Rael, but the person who carefully peeked into the room a few seconds later wasn’t a viera.
“Ah, you are awake! That’s good!”, Haurchefant exclaimed happily and brought a small tray with hot soup and also something warm to drink. “It is so late already, you must be horribly hungry. Alphinaud checked in on you earlier but you were still fast asleep and he didn’t have the heart to wake you.”
A little uncertain on how to answer to that, A’viloh just nodded. Haurchefant grinned, put down a mug on the bedside table and handed A‘viloh a comfortingly warm bowl filled with some rather delicious smelling stew.
Instead of fetching the chair from the small desk by the window, Haurchefant sat down at the lower end of the bed balancing the tray with his own lunch on his knees. Rael once told him that ishgardian society had an absurd amount of strict and antiquated rules and so A’viloh couldn’t help but wonder, that although it seemed like a very appropriate distance to him, in Haurchefant’s hometown the fact alone that he dared to sit on someone else’s bed was probably scandalous.
“I hope you don’t mind me having lunch with you.”, the Elezen asked as he noticed A‘viloh staring.
Quickly the Miqo’te lowered his gaze to his bowl of soup. “Not at all.”, he muttered and tried a spoonful of the food just to change the topic. “Mhh, this is very good!”, he mumbled, still chewing, surprised by how good this really was compared to the bland food and bitter teas Rael had usually brought him these last few days. It must have been the Viera’s way of punishing him for running away.
Haurchefant laughed and then for a while they ate in silence.
“You look a lot healthier already.”, the Elezen stated after a while with an amiable smile on his face before taking a sip from his mug.
A‘viloh shrugged a little embarrassed, since it had been his own fault that he hadn’t been well in the first place. “Only because all of you took so good care of me.”
Haurchefant nodded. “You know, you had us all horribly worried right?”
“Sorry about that.”, he said and guitily looked into his mug.
Curiously Haurchefant eyed him for a moment. “Why did you do that anyway? Run out into the storm.”
A bit surprised A’viloh looked up. Had they all thought he had done this on purpose? “There wasn’t a storm when I left! What do I know about weather? I didn’t expect it to start snowing, let alone that much!”
That made the Elezen chuckle again but he still looked at him expecting an answer.
“Still… why did you leave?”
“I assumed Rael told you…”, A’viloh replied not sure what Haurchefant wanted to hear exactly. He nodded. “Rael did. But maybe I want to hear it from you…”
A’viloh sighed. His plan hadn’t been very smart and he felt a little uncomfortable having to explain his reasons to someone else, when in retrospect it didn’t make much sense even to his own ears.
“You know the… circumstances under which we fled Ul’dah… I couldn’t… um… the fact that we didn’t even know what happened to our friends… I wanted to find out, because it doesn’t seem fair to me that we escaped while all of them didn’t…”
“Mhh…”, Haurchefant nodded thoughtfully but let go off the topic for now. Instead he asked, „And how are you feeling today?”
Somehow that question confused A’viloh even more.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s a simple question, isn’t it?”, he said still smiling politely.
Of course it was a simple question. Just the answer felt unreasonable complicated to him. To make things even more difficult people who asked such a question usually wanted to hear “I‘m fine, and you?” or “Very good, thank you.” for an answer and rarely the truth. They certainly didn’t want to hear “A few days ago I was convinced I was going to die and honestly it wasn’t that bad, so now I‘m still not sure wether I am happy to still be alive or not”.
“Alright… I guess.”, he mumbled instead. He had never been a good liar and could only hope that this fact wasn’t too obvious for the Elezen.
“You know what?”, Haurchefant proclaimed after watching him thoughtfully for a second. “Today is a wonderful day. We should go for a walk.”
“A walk?!”, A’viloh exclaimed wide-eyed, as if he had just asked something unreasonable of him.
“Why not?”
A’viloh couldn’t think of a good reason why not, other than that he was supposed to stay in bed, so he shrugged.
“Where’s Rael?”, he asked instead.
Haurchefant smirked. “Do you need Rael’s permission to go outside?”
“Of course not.”, the Miqo’te protested. “But Rael will be mad if I run off again, especially against their orders to stay in bed.”
“Rael and Alphinaud went to the observatory earlier.”, Haurchefant explained. “We’ll be back before they are, I promise.”
What was A’viloh supposed to say against that and also against the expectant look on the Elezen’s face. He took another glimpse towards the window and decided that it looked nice enough to go outside.
“Fine.”
“Good!”, Haurchefant exclaimed happily and collected their empty bowls and mugs. “There should be warm clothes for you in the wardrobe. If you need anything else just ask someone. I’ll wait for you by the northern gate.”
After Haurchefant had left, A’viloh remained sitting in his bed for a moment longer contemplating on the Elezen’s question. Yes, he felt better again. But better in what comparison? Better than a few days ago when he had felt and also been half-dead? Though he didn’t feel sick anymore now, there still was a weigh on his heart. From his plan that had failed so spectacularly and even more so from the dreams he wouldn’t have minded to keep on dreaming forever.
Vehemently he shook his head and decided not to think about that now or he would just crawl back under the blanket of his comfortably warm bed again. Instead he got up and took a look into the wardrobe. Almost none of these were his own clothes of course since all he possessed were the ones he had worn on his body that day they fled Ul’dah. Very unsuitable for this climate. But neither did he see the borrowed clothes he had worn that night when he had tried to run away. Everything in here looked even softer and warmer like someone had wanted to make sure he was feeling comfortable. To his surprise the things didn’t look that much too big for him either, unlike his last set of clothes. Besides a few Hyur most people here at Camp Dragonhead were grown up Elezen but these clothes looked like they belonged to neither. Maybe it were clothes for Elezen children, he wondered and also thought that in that case someone must have brought them here just for him.
Grateful for so much effort he picked a few pieces and got dressed. Lazily he ran his fingers through his hair to get rid of the worst knots but the look into the small mirror at the washbasin, where his tired face stared back at him reproachfully, just made him sigh. Once he was ready he took the warm coat out of the wardrobe too and went out to look for Haurchefant. Just as he had said, the Elezen was standing by the gate that led to the north-east, towards the ruins of the Steel Vigil.
From afar Haurchefant already recognised the Miqo’te, his bright red hair a singularity among all the people living here. Pleasantly smiling as always he waved at him and A’viloh couldn’t help but smile a little too and wave back as he hurriedly walked towards him.
“There you are! I see the clothes fit you nicely.”
A’viloh nodded.
“They do. Thank you very much for these.”
Haurchefant dismissively waved with one hand. “It’s the least I could do…”
But he had done a lot more than that, A’viloh thought. “I think there’s more I need to thank you for. Rael told me it was you who saved my life.”
“Mhhh…”, Haurchefant tilted his head as if he wasn’t sure if this statement was entirely the truth. “Rael is too humble. They played a bit of a role in that too. After all it was Rael who noticed you were gone. And it was also Rael who didn’t leave your bedside and tried their best to heal you.”
A’viloh remembered waking up and finding the usually quite touch-averse viera cuddled up to him with a look on their face so horribly sad like he had never seen on them before. Rael had pretended it was nothing but it had been a very unconvincing performance. Asked about it Alphinaud had only offered a few sentences about how worried Rael had looked and how they had used all kinds of spells he himself had never seen or heard of before, all of it to try and save him. It had made him feel even more guilty for his stupidity.
So maybe Haurchefant was right. But still it had been him who had risked going out into the storm to find him.
“Anyway. I still want to thank you! Honestly.”, he insisted. But how honestly was it really?
Sure, he was glad to still be alive. After all his plan hadn’t been to run out into a blizzard and freeze to death, although some of them seemed to think that was the case. But once he found himself in this situation he had to admit that he had welcomed his fate rather willingly. A fact that shocked even himself a little looking back at it now.
“You’re welcome. After all you wouldn’t be any help to your friends frozen to death out there.”, Haurchefant joked with a wry smile on his lips.
“I guess not...”, A’viloh muttered, the topic of his friends making his mood visibly sink again.
Of course the Elezen noticed and his smile turned into a playful grin. “But I acted a little selfish too, you know? I think Camp Dragonhead is a lot friendlier with your company and I would like to have you and your pretty smile around a little longer.”
For a moment A’viloh’s eyes shot up to look at the others face before he quickly pretended that something somewhere a little bit to his left was a lot more interesting. Sometimes Haurchefant randomly said things, A’viloh hadn’t had the slightest idea how to react to. Not because he was that oblivious but simply because it puzzled him. Nonetheless the air suddenly didn’t feel that cold anymore on his face.
Haurchefant was always very kind to him. Well, he mostly was kind to everybody but sometimes he seemed to admire him especially. Him of all people, although there was nothing special about him. Haurchefant sometimes spoke of him like he was one of the greatest heroes of all time and it felt so ridiculous to him. He was just silly, cowardly A‘viloh! What had he ever achieved in his miserable life to justify such admiration? The people called him a Warrior of Light but wasn’t that some grand overstatement? Some days he thought all of this had been a horrible mistake. A great misunderstanding! Then he wondered how he had ever gotten entangled in this madness in the first place and also if he ever would get out of it again. But what else should he do with his life anyway...
While A’viloh’s brain still screeched in desperate search for a proper response, Haurchefant seemed to realise he had flustered him and glossed it over by gesturing to the gate.
“How about we walk a few yalms? There’s something you need to see!”
Still too dumbstruck to speak or to even wonder what the Elezen was talking about, A’viloh nodded and then proceeded to follow him out into the snowy landscape.
After a few minutes Haurchefant paused and took a deep breath. “Isn’t the air wonderful today?”
A’viloh followed his example, breathed deeply and let his gaze wander over the snow covered landscape with a few pines here and there and the mountains and ruins of the Steel Vigil in the distance. The air was cool and fresh, still cold enough that the warm sun couldn’t melt the snow. Instead the rays of sunshine made the scenery shine and sparkle as if everything was covered not in ice but in millions over millions of tiny diamonds.
“It is.”, he answered and smiled, surprised how beautiful this inhospitable landscape could be, before with a sudden spark of curiosity he finally asked. “Where are we going?”
“It’s not far anymore.”, Haurchefant said with a grin on his face and pointed into another direction. Shortly after and only a bit further ahead they reached a small lake.
As they got closer A‘viloh noticed that it not only was covered in a layer of snow and ice but also that quite a few off-duty soldiers, given the proximity to the camp he assumed they had to be, were standing right on top of the frozen lake. No, they were not quite standing. It looked more like they were dancing or flying maybe. More or less gracefully they moved over the lake‘s surface in fluid swift strides, some just moving in wide circles and other swirling around this way or that. A’viloh had never seen something like this and it looked strange and impossible but at the same time very beautiful to him.
The two of them had almost reached the lake by then, A’viloh a few steps ahead to get a better look at the wondrous people on the ice and he already wanted to ask how they did that, when his attention was drawn elsewhere by a curious squawking sound.
“Oh! Look at them!”, the Miqo’te exclaimed, his fascinated smile still turning a little brighter, as he gestured to a small flock of wild geese resting at the shore of the lake. With ruffled feathers they sat closely huddled together at the edge of the ice and suddenly A‘viloh couldn’t help but worry about them. They looked so unbothered by his presence, sleeping through the day and all the hubbub around them, looking all exhausted and frozen with their puffed up feathers. Like anything could happen to them and they wouldn’t even mind.
Strangely he wondered what he himself had looked like when Haurchefant had found him unconscious in the snow. He must have been a pitiful sight. Had the Elezen thought him beyond saving too, just like he himself had. What if he had found him a little later or not at all? Maybe that would have been better, a voice murmured to him just like it had so many times before and for a moment, tempted by the grief heavy on his heart once again, he almost believed it.
But no, he would be dead then and while he would have liked to imagine that this would mean he could be with his loved ones again, it was not exactly what either of the tribes he had lived with believed.
Vaguely he remembered his father working for hours, digging a grave at what used to be Wellwick Wood. An elderly woman too exhausted by their long journey, his grandmother if he remembered correctly, had died shortly after they had arrived there. With a sad smile on his face his father had explained to his children, who had stared down into the hole in the ground with confusion in their eyes, how by returning her body to the earth there could still grow new life from this death.
Or the drake tribe of the Sagolii Desert, who always burned their dead and left the ashes to be carried away by the desert wind, believing that it would make it easier for the deceased‘s aether to return to the Aetheric Sea and create something new elsewhere.
With a sudden sharp pain in his heart A’viloh realised that neither of the people he loved had gotten the burial they would have wanted for themselves. And neither had A‘viloh himself wanted to die in the coldness of Coerthas and be forever forgotten under a thick layer of snow and ice. He had thought about dying before but never had he been this close to it. For a second he wondered if this was something worth speaking to Rael about, but he wasn’t sure they wouldn’t misunderstand and get mad at him again.
“Why do you make such a sad face now?”, Haurchefant asked having noticed the smile slip from the Miqo’te’s face. But A’viloh just vehemently shook his head and focused on the geese again.
“They must be horribly cold.”, he wondered in a voice that suggested he already planned to take all of them to the safety of his comfortably warm room.
Haurchefant chuckled. “Don’t worry, they survived the storm out here after all. They keep each other warm, that’s why you‘ll rarely see one of them alone. A bit like you and your friends.”
“Maybe…”, A’viloh answered thinking about this comparison for a moment. “I just wish it wouldn’t always be me who needs to be taken care of. But as proven in Ul’dah and now once again I am simply too weak and useless to keep myself alive, not to mention anyone else.”
The Elezen’s face got a little stern as he folded his arms in front of his chest. “Don’t say that, I am sure it’s not true! This was just bad luck! You are neither weak nor useless!”
A’viloh shrugged. “But that’s how I feel right now...”
Slowly Haurchefant nodded before speaking again with a silent but determined voice. “Listen. I‘ll never forget how bravely you fought for Francel although you barely knew him. You could have gotten yourself in trouble with that and you helped him anyway.”
“It’s not like I did that on my own -”, A’viloh tried to protest but was immediately interrupted. “But you still helped! And I’m sure even without Rael you would have done so!”
Another shrug was all Haurchefant got in response, so the Elezen thought for a second before making an offer. “You want to make yourself useful, right? Get stronger? I could teach you how to fight like a real ishgardian knight, with sword and shield. Or we have some dragoons at Camp Dragonhead too! I’m sure there’s a lot you could learn from them.”
A‘viloh‘s face turned to disbelief. “I really don’t think I could fight with armor and weapons this heavy…”
“You can’t say so if you don’t try! And I have you know that dragoon armors are surprisingly light. How do you think they could still be this agile otherwise? Promise me to at least try training with them a little!”
He didn’t really want to agree to that. He knew he would make a fool of himself. But how could he say no with Haurchefant trying everything in his power to cheer him up. Weakly he shook his head and muttered: “Fine…”
“Perfect!”, Haurchefant exclaimed with a bright smile on his face. “I think an early reward for your efforts is appropriate then!”
Confused A’viloh watched him take a small bag off of his shoulders, which he hadn’t even noticed until now. For a moment the Elezen was busy undoing a knot before he opened the bag and presented to A‘viloh a set of two weirdly shaped blades attached to pieces of wood with leather straps. He had no idea what these constructs were meant to do and that was plainly visible on his face. “What’s that?”
“Ice skates of course!”, Haurchefant said as if that would explain it all but the Miqo’te‘s face remained clueless, so Haurchefant gestured to the lake behind them. “You attach them to your boots so you can walk on the ice like this!”
“Oh!”, A’viloh exclaimed as he understood what Haurchefant was planning. “I don’t think-… I mean I‘ve never-… You don’t really want me to step on that lake do you?” The idea somehow scared him.
“Why not?”, Haurchefant asked for the second time today with this smile that made the question sound like a challenge.
“It’s just a bit of ice!”, A‘vi objected. “What if it breaks?”
The Elezen shook his head and proceeded to fasten the metal blades beneath his boots. “Ah, don’t worry. The ice is thick enough, it will take at least a few more days to melt.”
“I don’t know…”, was all A’viloh replied as Haurchefant pressed another pair of skates into his hands. But the Elezen remained determined and took a few wobbly steps through the snow and onto the ice. “See! I can stand on it and it doesn’t break! You are a lot lighter than me, so why wouldn’t you be able to?”
Oh, you don’t know my bad luck!, A‘viloh thought but Haurchefant didn’t look like he would take that for an excuse. Instead he stretched out a hand towards the Miqo’te. “Come one! Believe me, this is going to be funny!”
For a second A‘viloh pondered his options. The idea of nothing but a little bit of ice between him and the water still terrified him but Haurchefant seemed so excited about this and the other people actually seemed to have fun too. Maybe he should at least pretend to try... Reluctantly he sat down on a rock and tried to put on the skates just like Haurchefant had done a moment ago.
“The clasp on the back too. Make sure none of them are loose… Yes, that looks fine!”, Haurchefant helpfully explained. As A’viloh got up, he almost flopped right back down into the snow. It was a weird feeling to balance his whole weight on only two thin pieces of metal. As he carefully took the first few steps towards the lake Haurchefant reached out for him once more. “Here! Take my hand! I don’t want you to fall…”
Hesitantly A‘vi stepped onto the ice and immediately felt like the ground was being pulled away beneath his feet. He struggled for balance, feeling himself falling backwards, so Haurchefants arm was a very welcome thing to hold on to.
With a chuckle the Elezen tried to loosen A‘vi‘s desperate grip on his arm and instead took each of his hand in one of his own before carefully making slow steps backwards pulling A‘viloh over the ice, which A’vi could swear was making suspicious crackling sounds below them. There was no way to tell the blades beneath his feet not to move, so all A’viloh could do was try not to fall and plead to Haurchefant with ears flat on his head and panic in his eyes, as he slowly was pulled further onto the lake. “No, no, no. Take me back, that’s a horrible idea!”
“Calm down. There’s nothing to be afraid of. I promise.”, Haurchefant said soothingly and continued to explain to him how to move on the ice skates. And in fact the Elezen’s calm voice slowly made A’viloh feel less anxious. His hands, frantically clasping at Haurchefant’s, relaxed along with his legs. It was still a weird feeling to be standing on the ice but now it felt a lot easier to remain balanced. He glanced at the people around them while remaining as still as possible, studied their movements for a moment and then tentatively tried to mimic the way they slowly pushed their feet above the slippery surface. To his surprise he really moved forward without much effort and also without feeling the sensation of falling again, closer to Haurchefant who had steadied him with his outstretched arms so far.
“See! It’s not that difficult.”, he said while making another step backwards so A’viloh had to follow with another step forward. The Miqo’te, strangely excited about the fact that he was actually moving on these weird ice-blades, laughed happily. “You are even going backwards!”
Haurchefants laughed. “One step after the other. Let’s teach you how to go forward first, hm? I‘ll let go off one of your hands but don’t worry, I still got you. One feet after the other just like you did before…”
In fact it almost felt easier now that he could use one of his arms to balance himself. Very slowly at first they floated above the icy surface of the lake but soon A‘viloh got braver. Once he almost lost his balance but for a comparably tall and strong person like Haurchefant it seemed like a very easy task to keep a small Miqo’te on his feet. Almost falling had felt like a shock for a second but only moments later they were laughing about it and in the end A’viloh was surprised and also a little proud how quickly he had learned and how much fun this was.
He wasn’t sure how much time they spent there on the frozen lake but at some point a bell sounded from the nearby Camp. Startled A’viloh looked up (and almost lost his balance again). “How late is it? I’m sure you have more important things to do than this! I’m sorry if I’m keeping you from doing your work.”
But Haurchefant just laughed and teased, “What could be more important than prove to you that not all of Coerthas is a deadly wasteland trying to kill you? But I think we really should return soon. I don’t want you to get cold again and after all we also don’t want Rael to find out about this little excursion, do we?”
For a second A’viloh wished the viera could see him now and wondered what their reaction would be like. The thought made him chuckle.
And as they floated, one last circle around the lake, A’viloh couldn’t help but wonder that maybe it was happy moments like this. The reason he was still here. Moments that made his life worth living.
---
inspired by the poem The Reversal by Leila Chatti
#ffxiv#ff14#final fantasy xiv#final fantasy 14#ffxiv writing#ffxiv screenshots#gpose#Aviloh Tia#Haurchefant Greystone#This ended up sadder than I wanted actually XD#But at least it ends on a good note and thats worth something huh?#I read that poem while I was still writing the last story and thought it fitted A'vi's mood quite well#and that it would be sweet to make him go ice skating although he has no clue what that is and how to do it :D#Did I ever tell you A'vi is his own worst enemy sometimes? I probably did or you figured that out by yourself by now...#If he thinks he can't do something he won't even try#I like to blame that on the expectactions people had for him and which he failed repeatedly but it's probably a bit of a character flaw too#However before late HW it is probably also very easy to talk him into pretty much anything if you have the slightest bit of persuasion skil#oops thats probably a character flaw too... but in this case it is useful at last :D#A'vi will get better soon I promise!#Well obviously he will get worse first for obvious reasons but then he'll get better eventually!#Maybe... I hope... Oh boy I am seriously trying but this sad cat doesn't want to be happy D:#I think getting the Scions back will help a little and so will the happenings of Stormblood I think...#And regarding Haurchefant: I don't think I see this as particularly romantic (I mean from Haurchefant's side maybe given his character)#I should probably make a post one of these days giving some iside look on A'vi's emotions! because it's complicated! XD#he's been alive but not really living for so long now and maybe this near-death-expierence was necessary to make him think about that...#rant over! I'll make a different post another day! this already got out of hand again...#and once again I’m posting this on a Friday! i might just start calling it FanficFriday! which doesn’t mean you get something each week XD
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Alright, not to get too caught up in the MHJ drama, but I’m crying because I just reread my now deleted post-Golden rant complaining about BSH, SB, and my issues with their strategy and I got to this part
😭😭😭
No but I was right. Say what you want about MHJ, but NewJean’s was truly HYBE's only other major success outside of BTS and it had nothing to do with BangPD and it turns out that it absolutely did piss him off LMAO. I knew it. You don't have to believe everything she says, but the elevator thing was basically confirmed and there's no normal, well adjusted adult who would ignore young girls like that if they weren't an immature, petty asshole.
Not to be messy and reopen this can of worms, but it does make me think it's even more likely that he might have been a little bitter over LC hitting #1 considering he couldn't take credit for it. He had that whole article in billboard that came out around the same time talking about how they were going to get the next #1 through their connections or infrastructure or however he put it, which was clearly referencing SB & HYBE America. I think he was trying to make it seem like this whole Scooter A&R strategy was ingenious and vital to Western success based on how hard they kept pushing and talking it up. So if MHJ was telling any amount of truth about his attitude and how he acted towards NWJN's, I just can't help but feel like he must have felt at least a LITTLE negatively about LC hitting that #1 right after he was talking such a big game about how his system (that he spent a billion dollars on) was going to be vital to that next #1.
LC was a Korean song Jimin made with a small in-house team so it must have been a little embarrassing for him to say all that to billboard (and probably investors lol) and have it be immediately invalidated. And LC so clearly demonstrated that BTS and the members could still pull off these big feats without him or his ideas and massive investment and personal involvement. And yeah, billboard did target LC right after that to try and smear it's success, but I think this argument still holds up. Especially because if LC was given any extra care or support it could have kept charting. And what billboard did in it's second week was insanely dirty.
(I’m not saying he was MAD about it, or that he didn’t talk it up to investors after, or that he sabotaged Jimin like a vengeful cartoon villain, I’m just being petty and speculating and saying I don’t think he was thrilled about it considering the circumstances)
Likewise NewJean's released music that did have a good chunk of English but was still Korean, and they managed to break a bunch of girlgroup billboard records as well, and that's ANOTHER project that BSH didn't have his hands on at all. In fact it was one he didn't believe in. Yes, ILLIT broke their record for getting their debut song on billboard quicker, however BSH followed the formula that MHJ created and apparently didn't even consult her or give her any credit while creating a group that was clearly inspired by her work (I genuinely love ILLIT and think they have their own identity! But they do follow the formula that MHJ popularized). So it's not like he got another group on billboard with his genius, it was again just following a formula someone else created (Magnetic was a bop and I loved the whole EP, so I'll give him that!).
I honestly don't even know what SB brings to the table that's so helpful because all they need for a pop song to succeed is basic charting tools like CDs and remixes and playlisting, which they could get before him, and basic decent promotions for visibility. And he's not doing anything interesting or helpful for the non-pop releases even though there's a massive market here for indie, alternative, R&B, and rap. Why wasn't CBTM on college stations? He's useless because the pop releases don't even need much to be successful. And none of JKs promotions were new or unique or something they couldn't have gotten before SB either. And if he's doing something else behind the scenes, I don't think that's worth it either.
JK did have more GP tuning in, but his solo debut was still heavily carried by ARMYs who took advantage of every provided tool, so nothing revolutionary they couldn't have accomplished pre-SB. It wouldn't have worked for anyone else like I said before either, a good example being TXT and their Jo Bros collab which flopped. BSH was all overconfident (top 10 on billboard lol) about it because he thought the secret to success was simply - western producer, western collab, english - but their fans didn't care for the song and therefore it didn't do well. So yeah, at the end of the day it's about good music and/or having a big fandom willing to carry (and that very rare charisma the BTS members have). Not whatever stupid synergy strategy BSH thought he unlocked. Honestly I wonder if he's really that stupid to think that they could get a hit with just those things, but I'm starting to think so. Genuinely what good decision has he made lately that wasn't just following trends?
Won't rehash everything again but this MHJ drama did make me look back on all this discourse even though I swore I was done with it. I'm not as bothered by all of this now, I just think it's interesting to look back on and compare some of her criticisms of HYBE & BSH to many of our own criticisms and speculation. While I take her words with a massive grain of salt, I do think there's a lot of outside evidence to back up some of her claims about the company and their issues (and I'm not her fan or excusing her actions or saying she's always truthful either).
Of course I could be totally wrong, just my thoughts. I'll go back to looking forward to Jin returning and upcoming projects because at the end of the day the BTS members are the ones responsible for their own careers and they have to be the ones to advocate for themselves and deal with their company, but the plus side of this situation is that I hope at least some K-ARMYs are approaching the company with more scrutiny and hopefully holding them accountable for certain things, although I won't hold my breath. It was hilarious seeing HYBE's quick response to their complaints about Jin's hug event though. I wish I-ARMYs would stop being such company stans (you can criticize HYBE/BH without being a manti you know) but not getting my hopes up.
I just sincerely hope that this whole SB creative strategy won't carry over into BTS music, or any more of their solo work. I wouldn’t care if the quality was there, but imo it’s too inconsistent (I definitely enjoy most of Golden! Seven is a bop, SNTY is 10/10). It’s not about creating art or good music for them, it’s about trying to design a song that they think will chart. And songs like that will almost always lack in some way. So I hope this doesn’t become a pattern and the members retain their creative freedom and recognize that they definitely do not need to rely on those people for a hit (ofc unless the want to work with them).
#discourse#hybe#newjeans#jimin#mhj#bangpd#oops this got long#btw i deleted the rant post#because i thought it was a little too heated#and my feelings have mellowed#but mostly because i was uncomfy with#the way i think some people#were over-associating SB and JK#for fanwars in a really gross way#and i didn't want to contribute to that#but looking back i made some good points lol#idk maybe i'll edit it a bit and bring it back for fun#although plenty of people have said similar things#much more eloquently than me#sorry to all the people who followed me#after i stopped being messy!#ill bring back some cute posts to balance this out soon#the one thing MHJ and I both have in common#is that we're both yappers
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#{ at this point. i only seem to login to see what my friends are doing ! not incapable of rping but found myself wanting to do some short rp#the long one take more time out of me and energy out of me so oops? but i'm glad to be coming here a little more since i have manage#to FINALLY sort through better with my school management times. cause in the past being on here was so low...#that being said... excited for metaphor refantazio! i haven't bought it yet since saving money a bit more#since i got myself a psp for my birthday last week so saving money alongside maybe(?) going to the nier concert is making me sort money out#but i do hope yall are doing well }#* XIII ⫶ life is short. the art long ⊹ ( out of character. )
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Work was reeeeeal stressful today and my anxiety’s suuuper high rn lmao. Send some asks?
#Shima speaks#I’m probably gonna play the new Genshin update to help me wind down a bit hfhfhhfh#It’s always crazy busy at EOM. I wasn’t even able to get everything in 😔#It’ll be fine I know. It was just a long day lol#Anyway. Genshin. I have not been playing at all the last few weeks ooos#*oops#I tried pulling for Xianyun with the little primos I had#Got a 5 star my first pull but it was Keqing 😭#It’s okay I’ll grind primos while I explore the new region :’)#Haha can’t believe One Piece has distracted me from even Genshin. Which I play religiously. LMAO#Ughh there’s so much I gotta DO I need to draw but I don’t want to put more stress on myself rn#Just play viddy games Shima……no more working today for you……
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Hello! Can I have some kin tips for an Aven (Worldless), or starfolks in general, kin please? Thank you in advance!
Basically, Aven is the black and orange one who wears a scarf, while starfolks are the (non-canon) name for our species! I'm telling you this since I know my source is somewhat obscure and is also very recent.
Ah, finally getting this one out of the inbox, sorry for the long wait on this one. See, after looking at the game a little I couldn't help but get it and play through the whole thing before doing this! It was very good, glad I could learn about it.
Anyway enough about me... On to your regularly scheduled kin tips.
Well, I suppose a somewhat boring one is a scarf, huh? Scarves are very nice anyway.
Try decorating your room or getting some accessories with star/celestial themes! One thing I've always adored were those glow in the dark stars you can put on your ceiling or walls, I hope you know the ones.
Interesting idea, try drawing yourself potentially? (As Aven of course) It could help, I think. If drawing isn't your thing, maybe try some other form of art? Writing maybe? Music? Whatever your talent is you could probably connect it in some way, making something that really speaks to your experience, it might be a bit comforting and relaxing, and also fun!
Anyway, I decided it'd be fun to make a food/drink recipe for kin tips a tradition, so here's another one for you. First thing you can make is a fruit kebab! It's very simple, simply cut some colorful fruit into small pieces, then you can stab them with a toothpick or something similar, and take a bite! I suppose you could cut a cantelope into a square and it'd look a little like an orange diamond wouldnt it? I think you could make a star too, maybe if you stacked a few pieces together.
You could also make a smoothie that looks like space with certain ingredients! Maybe try blueberries, purpleish blue yogurt, or something similar? Coffee with cream can also look like a galaxy if you like drinking it.
#✿ kin tips ✿#worldless#aven worldless#worldless kin#oops this one got a little long...#oh well i hope you enjoy!
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I wrote something yesterday!
#it's not something huge but it feels like good progress and I've missed this feeling for so long!#I keep flip-flopping between wanting to get away from TCD and wanting to write it. It feels like this is the one holding me back#and at the same time the one I should write next yknow?#and I got a lil chunk of that done. Maybe chapter. Uh. 6? Bit of that?#the last complete chapter I have is 3 oops#but that's okay! It's progress! We're getting there!#additionally my brain was just. Settling a little easier into it. It didn't feel so critical and angry about it. which is a fucking miracle#belove Atlas and their terror....#I can share a lil snippet soon if you want!
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