#this might actually be the first dirty joke I've ever made

[modmad]

misheard him. or didn't. animation terms are something else okay.

(very much based off this classic and don't look at me)

[iovetecchou]

⌜Love To Hate You ⧸ Hate To Love You⌟ 𓂃༞♡

༞ Gojo Satoru x Reader

༞ Contains...! enemies to lovers trope, implied hidden feelings, brief mention of suggestive dreams, "princess" used as a nickname for the reader, bickering, banter, implied jealousy, suggestive, making out, groping, boners (lmao)

༞ AFAB Reader.

༞ 2,329 words.

༞ Part 1/? Part 2.

Satoru Gojo was a real thorn in your side. Ever since you started at Jujutsu High as a teacher for the first-year students your superior- Satoru Gojo, has brought you nothing but headaches.

You were an aid for his class. Principal Yaga thought Gojo needed an extra hand with keeping the students on task. Your superior had a nasty habit of having last-minute field trips with his students when he didn't particularly feel like teaching. Which... was nearly every day. 

You admit you had high hopes before you met "The Satoru Gojo". Putting on your brightest smile as you introduced yourself to him for the very first time. You even bought him Zunda as a peace offering, hoping it would smooth over well with the one and only. 

But alas, he ignored you. 

Completely. 

He swiftly took the bag of goodies from your hand before perching himself atop his desk. Gojo swung his legs in a child-like manner as he began stuffing his annoyingly gorgeous face with your peace offering. Your jaw hung agape as you watched him do as he pleased. Not having a single ounce of respect for you.

 If his actions didn't prove it enough, his following words solidified it. 

"Let's get one thing straight, princess. I am in charge here, so don't make yourself too comfortable." 

"Princess..?!"

From that day forward, things were... rocky between the two of you.

He would step on your toes, sometimes quite literally; just to tick you off. Gojo spoke over you, correcting you mid-sentence when you were teaching the students. He would show up late every morning, leaving you to cover for his ass when Principal Yaga made his rounds. Among many other pesky things that would take you hours to list. 

Gojo was infuriating. Everything he did made your blood boil. But, with all that being said... why was it that he plagued your dreams each night? 

You cursed his name each morning when you woke up from a heated dream where Gojo was the star of it. He was obnoxious, loud, arrogant and cocky. So why was it that your deepest desires; even in your subconscious mind, revolved around him?

I guess the saying is true... don't hate someone too much, It might bloom into love.

But alas, you acted like those dreams were nothing but a nuisance. Facing Gojo each morning with indifference. Pretending like he didn't plague your dreams was a cakewalk, and you would guard your dirty little secret like your life depended on it. 

"Rough night, princess? You look like a total wreck!" Gojo quipped. He offered you a shit-eating grin as he swung his long legs up, crossing them atop his desk. Not having a care in the world for the papers that cascaded to the floor from his sudden action.

"Speak for yourself. Smells like you've been wearing that uniform for three days now." You sighed, placing your bag atop your desk before you took your seat. 

"I've been wearing this uniform for five days actually, if we're keeping count." Gojo snickered, fiddling his pen between his long fingers with ease. 

"That's repulsive, Gojo." Your face crinkled in disgust as you paid him no mind. All your focus shifting toward the ungraded papers on your desk. 

"I was joking, princess! You don't actually believe I'm that filthy- do you?!" He chuckled once more before his attention was brought to the door by the sound of a stern knock. 

"Nanami! Whatcha doin' here?" Gojo chimed, unmoving from his lax spot. 

Nanami cleared his throat before striding toward your desk, completely ignoring Gojo. You sat up from your chair to greet Nanami with a small smile. 

"Good morning, Nanami!" You spoke softly. You got a small glimpse of Gojo from behind Nanami's large frame as he pretended to gag himself with a pen from your gentle tone. You scowled before Nanami's words pulled you from your offense. 

"Morning, Y/N. I've been meaning to ask- would you like to go to dinner with me tonight? You've been working hard these past few months since you started here, and I'd be more than happy to treat you out." 

Nanami offered you a tight-lipped smile. You felt coy from his generous offer, stammering out your quick response. "Of course, I would love to! That's so kind of you, Nanami." 

Your smile was wide as your eyes averted from Nanami's striking gaze. "It's the new place that opened up in town a few weeks ago. Meet me there when you finish up here for the day. I'll be patiently waiting for you."

With that, Nanami took his leave. He spared one last glance at you from the doorway before descending the hall. Gojo was now sitting upright. You could feel his gaze on you even past the blindfold. "Looks like someone's got a hot date tonight." He scoffed. 

You rolled your eyes at your superior's childish musings. "It's not a date! Nanami is just being friendly. Quit assuming that, it's weird."

You went back to grading your student's papers. The thought of this night actually being a date with Nanami now plagued your brain.

"It's totally a date," Gojo muttered under his breath as his palm rested on the side of his cheek, supporting his head. 

"So what if it is? Why does it matter so much to you anyway?" You snapped. Your head shot up as you now glared at him furiously. It was only eight in the morning, and he was already getting on your nerves. 

Gojo stood, turning away from you. He began writing today's lesson on the chalkboard, not daring to answer either of your questions. His reaction took you off guard for sure. Gojo always had to have the last word, so why was he clamming up on you now? 

You didn't have the chance to ask him again before your students began rushing into the classroom. You figured you would drop it anyway. Focusing on class today was more important. 

The day zipped by like every other, and Yuuji was the last to leave as usual. Waving goodbye with his sunny smile that you cherished. You finished up the last of your paperwork for the day before checking the clock, that hung above Gojo's desk. It was getting late. Maybe if you left now, you would have some time to change before meeting Nanami. 

"Let me drive you home." Gojo's voice pulled you from your train of thought as you pulled your coat on and slung your bag over your shoulder. 

"I'd much rather take the train." You sighed, making your way to the door. "Turn off all the lights and lock the door this time! Principal Yaga will have both of our asses if you don't."

You descended toward the elevator, not caring to say goodbye to your perpetual pain-in-the-ass superior. You began planning out an outfit in your mind, overthinking if you should go casual or not. But just as you were about to press the ground floor button, Gojo snaked through. He offered you a sly grin before slotting himself behind you. He reached over you, taking the liberty of pressing the button.

"I'll admit, I'm a little hurt you didn't wave goodbye to me, princess." His breath tickled the shell of your ear from where he leaned forward slightly behind you. You felt a chill run down your spine from the proximity, whipping around to face him before shoving him back slightly. Having him invade your senses like that was dangerous.

"Don't be a baby. You know I have plans tonight." You glared daggers into the tall man standing before you. Tapping your foot in annoyance the more he tested your patience. 

"Plans, huh? Don't you mean your hot date with the charming Nanami? What a dashing prince he is, perfectly suitable for a princess like you."

"You're a weirdo- and stop it with that nickname. I don't like it." You huffed. Crossing your arms over your chest, still glaring at his annoyingly perfect face. 

"Oh, but calling you princess is the best part of my day. You know why?" Gojo trailed off, stepping closer to you. You could feel his intense gaze on you even past his blindfold as his chest came flush against yours. Your arms going limp at your sides.

"...Why?" You genuinely were curious, but your response only seemed to make Gojo's grin widen. 

"Because watching you pretend that you hate it when you secretly love it is entertaining, princess."

Your blood boiled at his response, and you could feel yourself heating up inside and out. You brought your hands up to beat on his chest, but he grabbed your fists before you had a chance. Gojo pulled your balled-up fists closer to his chest, holding them tightly. 

Before you could process it, Gojo took both of your fists between one of his large palms. His other hand pressed a tricky button on the elevator, causing the whole contraption to stop. 

"Gojo- what the hell did you do that for?!" You were furious at this point. Trying with all your might to free your hands from his grasp, but to no avail. 

"Princess, what are we doing?" His voice lowered an octave, seeming more serious than you've ever seen him before.

"What the hell are you talking about?" You knit your eyebrows together in confusion, still attempting to free your hands. 

"Us, I'm talking about us. I'm tired of playing this game." Gojo spoke calmly, bringing his face even closer to yours. 

"You mean us hating each other?" You scoff, trying to avert your gaze from his face. The proximity was causing you to feel butterflies, which you couldn't help but internally scold yourself for. 

"Do you really hate me, princess?" Gojo sounded almost sad when he uttered those words, pulling your gaze right back to his annoyingly handsome face. 

You stammered for a moment. Shaking your head in confusion before you whispered, "N-No, I mean... I don't know. Do you hate me?" You weren't sure what compelled you to ask him those four little words. But they were out in the open, no taking it back now. 

Before you could process it, Gojo closed the small distance between you both. His lips gently brushed over yours as he finally released your hands from his grasp. Expirementally, his lips captured yours. Gojo's large palms came down to smooth over your sides as he deepened the kiss. 

Your eyes were blown wide from the sudden affection coming from the man who plagued your dreams and tormented your days. But you couldn't deny that it felt good, that kissing him felt right. Gojo gasped against your lips as your hands came up to tug at his snowy tufts of hair. 

This gave Gojo the confidence to trail his hands lower. His palms caressed the sides of your thighs before hoisting you up. On instinct, your legs wrapped around his waist. "Hah..." You let out a small whine as your back collided with the elevator wall. 

"Oh my god..." Gojo groaned deeply, letting his kisses trail down your jaw and to your neck. 

"W-What...?" You mindlessly questioned as you threw your head back. Completely lost in the pleasurable feeling of Gojo marking up your neck. 

"That sound you just made. So heavenly, princess." Heat pooled in your core from his honest confession. Knowing your muffled whine had such an effect on him caused pride to flood your chest.

His slender fingers felt so hot against the fat of your ass as he kneaded the flesh with fervor. His pelvis was flush against yours, and you couldn't help but gasp at the feeling of his crotch pressing against yours. All of your fantasies were finally coming to fruition. If it wasn't for how real this all felt, you would have assumed this was just another one of your dreams. 

"Hey, you guys okay in there?" 

A gruff voice coming from the intercom built into the elevator pulled a gasp from your lips. You hurriedly pushed Gojo away as you found your footing. "Yeah, all good in here. Sorry! Must have pressed the wrong button." 

Gojo lied through his teeth as he swiftly pressed a button, putting the elevator back in motion. You could hardly look at him as you adjusted your uniform, trying to fix your disheveled state. 

"Did that answer your question, princess?" Gojo's words caused more heat to swirl in your tummy. 

Oh, it answered your question alright. It's safe to say his little show of affection did more than just answer it.

You zipped right past him the moment the elevator stopped at the ground floor. You felt too embarrassed to say anything more at that moment. But more than that, really. You felt as if you didn't leave now; you wouldn't have been able to resist him. 

Your heart was beating a mile a minute as you stormed out of the school building and toward the train station. How were you supposed to face Nanami after this? Especially if he thought this was a date. Gojo was a real prick for planting that seed in your head and then kissing you fervently the same day.

As your mind ran rampant, Gojo still lingered in the elevator. He slumped to the floor the second his back hit the wall. His slender digits caressed his lips. He could still feel the warmth of your skin against his plush mouth. His heart pounded in his chest, as he recounted every detail of what transpired only moments ago. Not helping to alleviate the painful tent in his pants in the slightest. 

All Gojo could think about was how badly he wanted to kiss you again, to make you his and his alone. After finally getting a taste of you, there was no way in hell he would give you up now. Gojo was determined to win you over. No matter what it would take.  

[valve3nthusiast]

(I've talked about Drift fucking crystals before right? Like there's no way that I haven't at least once right?)

How it all starts, of course, is with Rodimus making dirty jokes about some of the more... suspiciously shaped crystals in his collections, which Drift scolds him for. None of his crystals would be used like that! It's disrespectful!

Drift definitely doesn't spend the next couple of weeks staring at the ceiling of his room, furiously jacking off, while carefully avoiding looking at his collection. Or even thinking about it. Absolutely not. (Damn it, Rodimus)

So when he's next at an alien market and perusing the crystals and gemstones section, he definitely has no ulterior motive for buying an absurdly large harmonic quartz suspiciously cut and polished into the shape of a textured spike. Complete coincidence. (Listen, it was a really high-quality quartz for dirt cheap, he had to take that deal, ignore his bank account numbers)

And Drift is simply making a smart and tactical decision when he hides it in his subspace until he gets back to his room. Rodimus would probably never shut up about it, and maybe even steal it to try and do... lewd... acts with it! Truly, he is just looking out for the safety and dignity of all involved. Minimus would be proud

It's just... curiosity, that makes him take out the new quartz before he starts... "tending to himself," so he can compare it to his spike... only to see if it actually is that phallic!

The harmonic quartz is certainly pretty, shimmering with many vibrant colors. And large. And thick. And at the base of the center pillar, there are still some small crystalline formations, lovely and polished to a shine, but decently sharp enough to make you want to keep them away from anything... sensitive

A healthy dose of self-delusion really can't cover for the fact that once Drift realizes the crystal is so generously proportioned that it's nearly twice as big as his spike, his valve starts dripping. Any internal justifications of "academic interest" or "morbid curiosity" can't cover for the way he's now rubbing the blunt tip of the quartz across his glowing node and flushed valve folds

And, all right... maybe... he's been thinking about this more than he should. Maybe, getting it out of his system would make him stop. Maybe putting that blunt, unyielding crystal into his valve won't feel good at all, and he won't lie awake thinking about it anymore, so he should just put it in and be done with it-

Drift's loud moan shatters both the silence of his room and his hopes of not enjoying this, as he forces the massive crystal past the first caliper of his valve. It's somehow nothing like a spike, and yet better, his valve desperately clenching around the too-large quartz. The burn of his first caliper squeezing down on its unyielding, solid mass is exquisite. (It's possible there are some other things he has been avoiding admitting to himself, every time an injury made him revved up with charge that he did his best to ignore)

And, well. Maybe once Drift's collected himself, he ends up staring at the ceiling again, thinking about the empty ache in the rest of his valve, and the sunk cost fallacy, and how the rest of the crystal might feel if this is just the tip, and the merits of literally just saying "fuck it."

So he does. Fuck it, I mean. Vigorously, with great enthusiasm and some mild self-injury. His needy little valve was designed take the softer living metal of a spike, or something similar. The hard quartz he's forcing his valve open with is nothing like that at all. The sweet thrill of pain lights up his array with more charge than he ever really wants to self-reflect on

If Drift could even hear himself right now, he'd probably be embarrassed by the noises he's making. The aching burn of each new caliper he harshly pushes through has him moaning like a virgin taking their first spike. But he's too distracted by how fragging full he feels, one hand brutally pistoning the quartz into his abused valve, the other furiously rubbing circles on his anterior node

Fragging hell, when he finally manages to force the whole thing inside of him and grind the fat, blunt tip into his ceiling node, he shrieks like he's being fragging murdered, and accidentally overloads himself into unconsciousness

As Drift wakes up the next morning, still aching around the crystal he didn’t have the chance to pull out, valve lips scratched and bleeding from the rough edges at the base of his new favorite false spike, he looks at the ceiling and thinks: maybe I should start a new crystal collection...

(and, oh primus, if I get an infection from this, no one is ever going to let me live it down)

[ladyloveandjustice]

List of "Does it Like Women" Results and whether I agree

I find the "Does it like women" blog fascinating, as y'all have probably noticed. I always tend to think deeply about this topic when I consume media, so I wanted to make a list of results I disagree with, because it interests me! I'll likely be updating this through reblogs if my interest doesn't wane, I'll make a note in the replies when I do!

Loves Women

I agree with all of these so far! Well, loves women might be a little bit of a stretch for the first Spiderverse movie (on the other hand...doc ock...hnnn), but I think the second does so yeah basically agree.

Likes Women

Kill la Kill- Man it's 2013 again and I'm seeing tumblr make powerpoints about how klk is deeply feminist and it's actually a super deep critique of harassment that Ryuko has to wear the ugliest outfit ever and Westerners Don't Understand (person making this argument is inevitably a Westerner).

Yeah, based on the part I've seen and everything I've heard, hard disagree. But I have not seen the whole thing, just those three, I do know the part I saw included rape jokes a plenty, a weird victim-blamey take on "not being ashamed" of being forced into a skimpy outfit and how if you're bothered by men ogling you that's your weakness, and a vagina wedgie. I'm not as mad about it as I was back then,and I can appreciate the show has it's good points later on. Not having watched it also means my knowledge is incomplete. However, I have listened to really in depth breakdowns of the series (mainly Anifem's podcast), so I know exactly what happens, and yeah, the treatment of women doesn't impress me. I'm on the dislike side, (holding back on hates because again, haven't seen all of it)

...could understand mixed feelings though, I guess

Fullmetal Alchemist 2003 anime- nahhhh man, it doesn't like women, treating them significantly worse than the manga it adapted. I have a lot of issues, from how thoroughly it shafted Winry, to how it gave Riza nothing, to Dante being every cliche about a female villain they could fit in here, the treatment of Rose leaving a horrible taste in my mouth (I see arguments of what happened to her being a critique of imperialism, however I have yet to see anyone justify why the show had to continue to have her kidnapped and assaulted and treated as an afterthought after that) and some truly rancid one-off episodes.

I break down my problems with it at the end of the little FMA 2003 liveblog I did, though it's phrased super obnoxiously because I wrote it...oh my god twelve years ago oh god I'm crumbling to dust as we speak. But I break down the basics with the "top gross things" post I did (ignore any thoughts on race I had no place writing bout that tbh). The tag anime: turn your zombie mom into ethanol also goes into more of my thoughts, though again, very obnoxious and the deeper you dig the more ancient and obnoxious it will get lmao.

I have several ancient posts on how it treated Winry in particular, as she was my fave and was done so dirty, and I think they hold up fairly well. Here's a post I made about the Winry-Roy plotline, and a good response by another user. Then we have this post, ignore horrible art.

(Please don't try to spark a debate with any of this stuff, it's years and years old, I went through so much drama and legit panic attacks, and I'm not committed anymore. Love 2003 and think it likes women if you want, that's fine! I'm just trying to illustrate what I mean in saying imo it dislikes women).

The Handmaiden- This poll reminded me to finally get around to watching this movie, and I'm so glad I did! I'd go with "loves women" for this one actually,The nos must either be misclicks or people who don't understand that two women having sex on screen is not the same as the male gaze.

Madoka- I'd definitely go more towards mixed feelings honestly (especially if we're counting Rebellion) but I get the people who say "likes".

Yuri is my Job- it loves women, it loves messy women, it loves women who love women, it loves them so much, idk why it got a sizeable no vote. People who only watched the first ep? People who think yuri is "bad"?

Mob Psycho 100- Someone in the notes says "accidentally likes women" and that's the only answer in the "likes women" area I'll accept. It has 10 million prominent male characters and like three prominent female characters. ONE really really obviously has a hard time imagining women as powerful or action heroes. (this is reflected in One Punch Man too) (One Punch Man actively hates women and queer people though, Mob is infinitely better) Only one who ever gets to fight and play with the boys, and she's a low level mook, and we have to spend 75% percent of her limited screentime on whether it's actually okay to fight women, with her winning argument being "Well you're literally a child so I guess it evens out" (???) The little girl with the evil dolls gets even less screentime.

I do like that the series examines how Mob idealized Takane and how people not caring about the real her made her tired, as well as how it allowed her to reject Mob and was basically a lesson in the importance of accepting rejection. But her screentime is also really limited, and I feel like we could have dove into her a lot more. Tome is a wonderful weird girl and I liked her little arc, and I hear she gets more in the Reigen manga, but still not a TON of screentime, and even with her there are a couple jabs about how she doesn't "count" as a girl due to not acting traditionally feminine we're clearly supposed to find funny. Emi is...there I guess. There's that sweet scene with the writer girl, and the bully girl, but they're like, not reoccurring at all, as evidenced by how I can't remember their names.

And uh. the girls school episode.

Anyway. Hot take but I don't think "they're barely in the story but when they are two of them are treated pretty decently and have some depth, though there is some weird stuff about whether women can even fight men or whatever" really counts as "likes women". I'd go more mixed feelings.

Life is Strange-out of the two options I chose dislikes, but my feelings are a lot closer to "mixed feelings". I go into why here.

Gushing Over Magical Girls- lol. lmao even. The anime about middle school girls who look 8 sexually assaulting other middle school girls DEFINITELY doesn't like women. I go into more detail here.

Cowboy Bebop: Mixed feelings, probably. I chose dislikes because yes, Faye and Ed are great (you could def read Ed as nb though), but Faye also is repeatedly damsel in distress'd and treated as incompetent in her field when I don't think she should be, she can be a failgirl without being the sole woman in the action side of the group and also the least capable (there's also That Scene in the movie). also i just. it's fine that she's sexy but I hate her outfit. give her something nicer looking, it's so ugly. But my main reason for a dislike vote is the treatment of Julia. Girl is a textbook example of fridging. They really gave her so little. But yeah I could see mixed feelings.

Also do you remember that one scene during Faye's tragic backstory where she's hospitalized and the camera requires us to look down her super (painful looking? like idk how she's not screaming about it) squished boobs during this tense and important moment god that took me out. whenever anyone acts like Faye always owns her sexiness and the camera never does anything I remember that scene.

Ranma 1/2: I've seen read a good chunk of it, and this result is...surprising. Maybe by the standards of 80's manga though, who knows.

Better Call Saul- I did vote yes on this one, but I'd put it more at mixed feelings. Kim is a fantastic character, but there aren't enough women on the show at all. She's a major part of the show, but basically the only one of any note. I only voted yes because I finally remembered Francesca was a reoccurring character and she's all right, but the fact I had to think to remember...

Undead Unluck: I know it gets a lot better later but I'm not sure if a work that has it's female character continuously and comically sexually harassed for the first few chapters can ever get liking women privileges. I don't know enough about it but it might be a mixed feelings situation.

Akiba Maid War: tbh I'd probably give this 'loves women'.

Ducktales: For the second season specifically I'd say "loves women". The first season leans more towards 'like women' though, so it evens out.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend- Should be "loves women" but people are ridic and voted based on the title.

Mixed Feelings

Dracula- IIII definitely think it dislikes women, sorry guys. Mina is a great character and you do have to take it in the context of when it was written. But there are surely contemporaries of Bram Stoker that wouldn't have randomly gone out of their way to scoff at the "New Woman". Not to mention again, really random sidebars about how men are so much smarter and cooler and women should be grateful to them. I could go on about Lucy and how Mina is treated and whether that's a critique of sexism or just playing into it and how it's so open to interpretation but I'll stop here.

also the book is hugely anti- Romani, immigrant etc and I think that ties into disliking women since some women are those Romani and immigrants

It really really felt like a case where a lot of people in the Drac Daily tag just wanted it to be super feminist because they liked it (you can like things without having to make them feminist! it's fine!), and the way they scoffed at feminist scholars who had "surface level readings" of the text (aka they dared to say it was sexist) still leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

The Lego Movie: dislikes women. what are y'all on. Even it's own sequel calls it out for disliking women. Wildstyle is basically the only woman with real characterization and she's the purest concentration of "hypercompetent woman must play second fiddle to Average Male loser who is the one who actually saves the world and also she falls in love with him because of course she does'. Then Wonder Woman got one line (in literally the first theatrical move she got to even be in) and Superman and Batman a lot of screen time.

Does not like

Scott Pilgrim- Don't get this result, I'd put it at likes or mixed feelings? It's literally about how Scott has weird issues with women where he doesn't see them as to full people they are, and it calls him out on that hard. The whole sixth volume is how he made up a damsel in distress scenario for Kim and always took her for granted, how he put all the blame on Envy for the end of their relationship when he played a huge role in that, Knives finally getting over him, moving on, and telling him he needs to grow up a little (highlighting how his grossness towards her was him refusing to accept that he was an adult now, and that he was horrible to her, and yes he does apologize), and accepting that he and Ramona are both messed up people and she's just as flawed as he is, taking down the pedestal he put her on. And having Ramona triumphantly confront her abuser. Scott acknowledges he has a lot in common with Gideon, the supervillain!

Roxy is a sticking point, the whole 'it was a phase thing' and her and Ramona's relationshipbeing unexplored was annoying (fixed in Takes Off) but even she had some moments of pathos and was definitely the (Ramona's) ex the story seemed to sympathize with the most.

I dunno. this seems like a tumblr lacks media literacy thing again. Did you think the narrative agrees with Scott. Did you only watch the movie.

Succession- I'd go more mixed feelings? Dislikes is fine, I think it doesn't have enough women and often privileges male characters over them, but sometimes it's examination of the sexism Shiv faces is really incisive, and she's a complex character. But she should have gotten that abortion.

Watchmen: hates women actually. Pretty much anything written by Alan Moore does.

Persona 4: I think it hates women actually. But dislike is fine too.

Merlin: Everything I've heard about the show puts in in the hates camp rather than dislikes, but i never watched it (I did watch this video on it, and the bootlicking is out of this world if it's accurate) so I can't really comment

Fables: I cannot fathom how this did not get "hates women". Not just the fact it's written by a known misogynist. I will always remind everyone that I was literally there to see Bill Willingham say the female fans protesting the misogynist treatment of Stephanie Brown were annoying and he wishes he could shoot them. I was there. I heard him. This attitude completely shows up in his work. On top of that, his conservative, women hating idealogy all over this comic. Do you not remember all the random abortion soapboxes and how hard Snow White got sidelined????

And when I refreshed my memory, I discovered the reason Snow White had kids when she didn't want to was because a spell made her have sex with the male lead and she didn't even remember that happening. I also forgot that her backstory was the seven dwarfs raped her (but then she murdered them! Girl Power!) This is only the tip of the iceberg, I rediscovered way too many screwed up things he did to his female characters. Plus blatant Zionist propaganda and a ton of racism.

Like Snow White's backstory was some dark and edgy rape revenge and she's an Empowered Woman now, only to have her be raped by the man she will marry (in a mutual rape) but we don't call it that, and now she has kids she doesn't want, she can't get an abortion because It's Evil, time to quit her job she's proud of and move to a farm to have six kids.

iCarly-- It hates women! Dan Schneider. That should be all we need but some people in the comments insisted on separating the art from the artist despite the fact the artist is ALL OVER the art, and said art directly tormented Jeanette McCurdy! There was so much content in the show that was there to specifically torment her-- the fact her character has a food addiction/eating disorder while she had a real life eating disorder and they had to have known this, the fact after hearing she had a crush on an actor then they wrote it into her character to humiliate her, the fact they continually sexualized her while knowing her discomfort with it and with her body-- I have also watched the exhaustive basically minute-by-minute breakdown by QuintonReviews. Some gross shit happens on that show.

Hates Women

Agree with all of these so far!

[i-merely-jest]

Welcome to the show, folks!

This site is really fun from what I've seen so far... although I do have to comment on the lack of other Cookies on it!

What a shame, truly... that means less people to talk to, y'know.

Oh, and it sure is boring just sitting around and waiting for something to happen. Alas, I am trapped inside some sort of labyrinth, and my options are limited.

But hey! There's always something new on the internet, amirite? Boy, are a lot of you dirty little liars... Hehehe...

//mod will remain anonymous and goes by he/they pronouns

the plotline for shadow milk cookie himself is after being freed from the silver tree, but then being put into a different form of containment afterwards. for some reason i wanted him to be in an ikea, so this different containment just so happens to be a fucked up version of ikea. shadow milk cookie is essentially stuck in the infinite ikea, but not exactly, since it's not an scp and it's my own take on the matter. basically, it's like the cookie run equivalent of ikea since it's made with materials seen in the cookie run universe, and he can't physically leave it usually.

it is unknown to others what entity sealed him away here, and even shadow milk cookie himself claims to not know what it is. given how he's unwilling to talk about it most of the time, he is either lying completely or only telling a half truth. furthermore, he's not willing to divulge much information about the place he's stuck in aside from ominous answers that leave people with more questions. if he ever has visitors, he's more than eager to toy with them a bit, especially since they're exceedingly rare. good luck getting out though...

when he does appear to others in the real cookie world, it's typically as an illusion or ghost-like figure from him using his powers to project himself back into reality, so he's translucent. furthermore, he can still do voice impressions, so sometimes he will only be a disembodied voice, as this is easier and more entertaining to him. it is also more common than an actual appearance of him.

he can still have some effect on the real cookie world and can choose to be tangible or not, but is usually the latter. it's incredibly taxing for him to use his abilities nowadays, so he has to remain in his alternate reality, constantly trying to find a way out. it's been so long that he can somewhat control the environment with his powers, but for the most part it seems like something else is in control of the space. sometimes he can forcibly open up a gateway out, but will always have to return since there's always this unknown force dragging him back...

general dni, but if i find you annoying i might block you too

no nsfw, but some flirting is okay (don't expect shadow milk cookie to reciprocate in a genuine way though; he'd likely just see it as a joke) shipping generally depends because i honestly have NO idea who's he's even shipped with but. yeah. feel free to ask or try to plan something with me in advance (edit: okay so after figuring out it exists, i am kinda favoring shadowvanilla as a ship...)

i'm generally okay with either silly or serious roleplays, so have fun! this blog isn't selective for whoever wishes to interact, although i do appreciate dms from anyone hoping to interact first if you want to plan something. i won't bite, i promise. (unless, of course... i'm lying? who knows...)

i try to be active and respond as quickly as possible, but may get busy, especially since im in the process of trying to get a novel series published. furthermore, my rping style may change based on who im interacting with, so one moment it could be written almost like a novel, and then in other threads it takes a less serious tone. i love either one, and rping on tumblr is just a way for me to continue my hobby of writing.

i encourage oc interactions, as well as canon character interactions! i'm also fairly open to cross-fandom roleplays if it really comes to it. only disclaimer is that this is a sideblog, so i can't follow back with this blog, and i'm probably not just going to go around handing out my main just yet.

fun fact: this is THE most effort i have put into an intro post. credit for the eye dividers goes to sisterlucifergraphics, and credit for the other shadow milk cookie assets goes to phantasyze. is this blog kind of self indulgent? yes, and i freely admit this. i think he deserves to be in a hellish solitary confinement dimension though.

tagging system

-(liar alert) (an ooc tag that lets people know that shadow milk cookie is probably lying right then)

♧ from the deck of cards (art tag! can be used either in character or out of character, but will most likely be used ooc for reblogging art of rp scenes (which i am an absolute SUCKER for, so i don't mind any art being made for any scenes in rp threads))

♧ snapped strings (ooc posts, but i will also tag them accordingly with other tags that say they're ooc just in case. also before any text there will be two slashes (//). tags in parentheses on any post are also ooc, and are typically used as communication whilst rping between whoever i'm currently rping with, or as a way for me to clarify things on certain posts)

♧ was it a truth or a lie? (answered asks)

♧ chronicles of the spire (lore related posts, usually ones set up like stories. basically like a mini fanfic or something)

♧ whispers of deceit (normal in character text posts, and roleplay starters usually fall into this category)

♧ collection of marionettes (in character reblogs. other tags without the parentheses are also completely in character, so hypothetically he could communicate via tags with someone, potentially. maybe as a side thing or something, i don't know)

♧ illusionary visage (queued and/or scheduled posts)

[mickimagnum]

Before Sundown Interview

"Hey, everyone! Welcome to Devin's Dude Ranch: Before Sundown. I"m your host, Venessa Jeong and here with me is the star of our upcoming series, Devin's Dude Ranch, our Bachelorette, Devin Delaney. Welcome, Devin!"

"Thanks, Venessa. I'm excited to be here. Honestly, I can't believe this is happening," Devin said with a nervous laugh.

"Well, you better believe it! We've hand-picked five single men, especially for you, and they're all chomping at the bit for a chance to win your heart."

"Nice. A horse pun," Devin replied, trying to distract from the crimson that began creeping into her cheeks.

"I thought you'd appreciate it," Vanessa smiled before moving on, "Now, tell me, Devin, what made you decide to look for love as a Bachelorette?"

"When I was first approached about doing the show, my first reaction was 'no way,' but after thinking about it, I couldn't deny it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. You know, I really don't have time to go out and meet people, but I do want my happily-ever-after just like everyone else. And I figured, why not try it? Plenty of people have found love doing the show, so I'm going into this with positive expectations."

"I like that. And, I for one, cannot wait to see how your love story unfolds and who you choose."

"Yeah, me neither," Devin joked and sat back in her seat.

"For many of our viewers, this will be their first time meeting you. How would you sum yourself up for them, Devin?"

"Oh, gosh, you're coming with the hard questions," Devin replied as she draped her arm across the back of her seat to carefully consider her answer before continuing, "My life has revolved around training horses and my nectar business, Echo Valley Nectar, came about only as a way to fund it. All I've ever known is hard work, which I think has kept me humble and my feet planted on the ground. Really, Venessa, at the end of the day, I'm a simple girl. Just give me open sky, good company, good food, good nectar, and horses. Then I'm happy."

"Don't forget Mr. Right!" Venessa laughed as she shuffled through the cards in her hands.

"If you can find him, I'll take him," Devin grinned.

"Speaking of Mr. Right," Venessa continued, "As you know, our experts have matched you with five single men who we feel are of excellent compatibility. But, what will it take for them to impress you?"

Devin paused a moment before answering, "Honestly, if they can just come in and be themselves, that will impress me more than anything else. Like, don't put on airs and try to impress me. That's one of my biggest pet peeves - you know, when you can tell someone isn't being genuine," Devin then turned and looked directly into the camera, "Just be yourself, guys. It's better we find if we actually click up front than a year down the road when we're engaged or whatever. Let's be real. From day one."

"Well said," Venessa replied with a bob of her head, "I feel like more people could use that advice."

"All I'm saying, is I'm going to be upfront about all this shenangiousness," Devin then gestured to her entire person, "so I would respect the hell out of any man that is willing to do the same."

"Did you just invent a word?"

"I very well might have."

"I love it."

"Me too."

"Besides someone who's confident being themselves, what else are you looking for in a partner?" Venessa then asked.

"Someone who likes horses, obviously," Devin laughed before continuing, "But also someone who isn't afraid to get their hands dirty and sees themself living and enjoying the ranch life with me. Someone who is real-world smart but kind. ..And will he definitely need a good sense of humor to survive any time me."

"After having just met you, I can second that last one."

Devin shrugged, "Life's too short. We might as well get silly with it."

Venessa's laugh rang out as she shook her head and Devin settled back in her chair again, as if satisfied that her job was done.

After glancing at the last queue card, Venessa said, "Alright Devin, last question, ultimately, what is it that you're hoping for from your experience?"

"I mean, the same thing everyone says. I want to find my person. Down the road, hopefully marriage and a family. That's it."

"And I hope you find it," Venessa said sincerely, "Devin, thank you so much for hanging out with me and answering the burning questions I know we all had."

"Yeah, of course. Thanks for having me!"

Venessa then turned directly to the camera, "Thanks for joining us for this episode of Before Sundown: Devin's Dude Ranch. Don't forget to tune in tomorrow, Monday December 4th, for the premiere of Devin's Dude Ranch, where Devin will meet her five contestants for the first time! And now, here's a sneak peak of the full cast. See you tomorrow at Echo Valley Ranch, SimNation."

Stay Tuned: Devin's Dude Ranch Begins Tomorrow, December 4th!

[notademon10]

CRACK THEORY: KRIS=FRISK ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE?

The ultimate "Krisk" theory.

This is an admitetly ambicious theory that not only proposes that Kris is the Deltarune version of Frisk, but theorizes on it's implications. This means I'll be trying to solve a lot of things that might end up connecting to this, whether you see it coming or not. In other words: I'll put quite a few seemingly unrelated pieces together, and the result might just end up being something you won't like. You have been warned. That being said, I want to be as thematically coherent as possible with these games, which is something I THINK some people miss.

PART I. WHO AND WHAT IS FRISK LIKE

First off, Frisk is likely a pacifist. Their armor, the bandage, is usless except for the fact that it heals you, as well as secretly guaranteeing escape if you flee on the first turn. That's not even mentioning that Frisk is most determined in true paz, (as well as they ONLY ever smile when choosing options that relate to this route) PLUS the mirror at the end saying "Still just you, Frisk". Their weapon is the stick, which doesn't do ANYTHING at all, except sometimes being super helpful for acting in some scpecific fights. But the most damning peace of evidence comes from their soul color. We actually DO know what it stands for! Papyrus HEAVLY implies in a phonecall in elevator L3 from Hotland that it's actually... LOVE! Thus, this means that they MUST link to this concept, including their armor, and everything points towards normal Love, not, you know, L.O.V.E.

This ALSO explains WHY there are 2 red soul humans in Undertale! One represents Love, the pacifist route, and the other the genocide route, with Violence. I mean, Chara explained that THEY were the feeling of seeing numbers increase. ATK, DF, and of course, LV. To add to this, the mirror in geno says: "It's me, Chara".

A VERY important thing to mention is the RED description in Ballgame: Try as you might, but you continue to be yourself. This differenciates Frisk and Chara from Flowey as they are very true to themselves, while he changed due to the absence of "LOVE", of Chara. I actually believe that every main monster represents a lack of a certain human trait, but that's for another day.

So... Is Frisk Chara? Or some sort of combination of them and a monster, like Asriel? What I've just said is confusing, but it does have a precedent. There's a video made by Sock Muppet titled "Who are you?" that explains this much further, and the main argument for it is that in order for Frisk to exit the barrier, they must have two souls: a monster soul and a human soul.

Unfortunatly, I believe it is debunkable, because even if you believe that Frisk "the fusion" is it's own entity separate from Chara in a weird way, Asriel asks "Why did you climb the mountain?", which is something that only Chara did, so you would still have to accept that these two humans are the same, even on a thematic level, which contradicts Asriel's line "Frisk, you really ARE different from Chara. I don't know why I ever acted like you were the same person. The truth is, Chara wan't really the greatest person. While you, Frisk, are the type of friend I wish I always had."

A much better explanation for why Frisk could have exited the barrier is because they had the determination of two human souls, theirs, and OURS. After all, the legends of localitation book confirms that it is OUR determination that lets us use the save and load ability, while Frisk is just along for the ride.

PART II. WHY DID THEY CLIMB THE MOUNTAIN?

I swear this is critical.

Well, I believe we DO know why. In Snowdrakes battle, there's a 1/6 chance of you saying "Nobody will ever love for the way you are". It's harsh, and very clearly projection, but from who? You see, there is evidence of Chara acting on their own on normal routes, like when you tell dirty jokes to Joshua all of them link back to Chara's story: "two kids playing in the mud", "a kid sleeping in the soil" and "a kid who ate pie with their bare hands". So who's it actually saying this, Frisk or Chara? I believe it applies to them BOTH. As it is THE reason they fell down the mountain. Let me explain. We know this MUST be the MAIN problem they have with themselves because love is LITERALLY their MAIN trait. But how do I know it applies to them both? Well, given how Frisk and Chara are foils to each other, then their reasons for coming down must be parallel or linked in some way. After all, it would be odd if only ONE of them fell down because of a lack of love, and not the other, especially when BOTH of them seem to have been neglected.

However.. there is also the fact that Clam girl tells us why Frisk fell down here. "In the grand scheme of things, Suzy might be the reason why you came here". However, it is literally impossible for them to KNOW about her, as she is literally a monster underground. So I think we should look at this situation more metaphorically. How does she tie into Frisk's reason to climb the underground?

"Nobody will ever love you the way you are."

The only way I can connect this to her is if she IS that "nobody". Or better said, the somebody that will love them for the way they are. There's just a little problem with this... Every monster ends up loving them the way Frisk really is in True paz, the only route in which they can properly meet Suzy. Even Asriel makes a point about how they love Frisk almost instantly.

Again we need to think. In which way would Suzy love Frisk?

Platonically: Every monster already does that.

In a familial way: Asgore, Toriel and debatibly Asriel already do that.

There's only one option left. And that is... One that I'm sure you won't like, but I feel obligated to suggest regardless. I understand if you don't like this idea, and that the connection between them is just multiversal.

But.

Asriel implies the reason behind Frisk falling is a much more mundane, sadder reality. His facial expression and tone is enough. And, with the whole destiny and fate theme taken into account, I believe there is a good argument to make that Suzy might just end up loving Frisk romantically. However, I haven't really "proven" Frisk is Kris yet, so there's one thing I want to discuss: Sans.

PART III. SANDS DELTAROON???

So Sans and Papyrus are from Deltarune. This has been covered to death by other people. While Papyrus is a bit more dubious, his recent QnAs basically confirm this.

The thing is if Sans is from DR, then he has experienced events that haven't happened yet. So it's entirely possible that he coulf be a useful tool in helping us know what those events could be. And I think we can. Because there are two things that don't sit with me right: his hatred of promises, and you. Let's start with his hatred for us. It can't be that he hates humanity like the rest of the underground, as he is from a universe in which humans and monsters seem to get along just fine. There could still be differences, but racism would be seen pretty much exactly like in our world. So then, is he aware of the player? Or is it something else?

To understand exactly what he hates about us, the best place to look is his infamous genocide dialogue.

"listen. i know you didn't answer me before but... somewhere in there, i can feel it. there's a glimmer of a good person inside of you. the memory of someone who once wanted to do the right thing. someone who, in another time, might have even been... a friend? c'mon buddy. do you remember me? please, if you're listening... let's forget all this, ok?"

This dialogue ocurres even if this is your first playthrough. So, I have a question for you. What could he be possibly referring to? What glimmer, what MEMORY is he feeling? But if course, that entire speech could literally just be him bluffing, right?

The thing is, he's REALLY fucking good at reading Frisk's expressions, do he SHOULD know whether or not "we" remember Sans, and were even friends with him. But, there's just a LITTLE problem with this.

How COULD Frisk remember Sans in our first playthrough?

...Well, here's the thing, they DON'T!

Because the memory he's feeling is HIS.

And who does he remember?

Who did he not forget, because he made a promise in his heart?

Three very specific people. The three Delta Warriors.

So! Kris is Frisk, right??

...Well, here's the thing: Kris might not be the human hero, because of this:

And also this:

The human hero is simply called "Human", which could only make sense if, at the very least on one route, Kris isn't the hero. Who then, could it be? Well, if the lack of facial features didn't give it away, it's the vessel, Kris' parallel. So WHO is the vessel, then? Well, I believe it is none other than the Deltarune version of Chara!

PART IV. CHARA IS THE VESSEL??

At the end of geno, they want us to eradicate the UT world, and move on the next world. This is very clearly a metaphor for us completionists to completly consume the next game. It just so happens that the next game we play could very well be Deltarune.

...no, this isn't all of it. Because the second time you do the route, their dialogue changes and reveals some interesting things.

"Greetings.

I am Chara.

The demon that comes when people call it's name.

It doesn't matter when, it doesn't matter where

Time after time, I will appear.

And with your help.

We will eradicate the enemy and become strong.

Every time a number increases, that feeling...

That's me."

I have one simple question: what was Chara reffering when they said it didn't matter when, or where?

It couldn't be because we sold our SOUL to Chara, because while the one we gave them did belong to us, it was Frisk's SOUL. There's not really any other explanation for this happening, as they only really possess it in the ending, when the player has stopped playing. Chara's possession wouldn't be meaningful in any way if their time in Frisk's body corresponded to the player's playtime.

So... How could they be everywhere as well as well as be anytime??

This is going to sound farfetched, but I have no other option:

Either Chara's SOUL was somehow shattered across time and space along with Gaster, and/or Chara is talking about other worlds, atleast the Deltarune one.

All of this to say... You call Chara at the very beggining of Deltarune, or at the very least... You can. Because not only can you name yourself or the vessel "Chara", you can name yourselves whatever way you originally named them as.

... But, you end up naming two people: the vessel and it's creator. So who IS Chara?

I believe it is the vessel. Simply put, the name that the casual player is going to give them is probably like any other protagonist, or in the very specific case of UT, the first fallen human. While the name they're going to give the creator is going to THEIR name. And I mean, if both the vessel and creator were characters, then naming them in a sense would be calling two different Charas. While if only the vessel is a character, while the creator is US, you would only be calling one Chara, while the creator would just be you, since you wouldn't be calling anyone else, just yourself.

On the toic on whatever you're supposed to call Chara, Toby Fox said "Your name, if you can't think of anything else lol". But when asked on twitter if naming Chara after their cat would be ok, which he said that it would ALSO work.

I think "your name" could be referring to the name you put yourself when you play any game, really. Kind of like "notademon" is my username on this site, but obviously is not my name.

I also have one last trick up my sleeve. Remember the unused human? You can see them as Frisk's reflection in waterfall, if you activate debug mode. At first, I thought it was just a beta version of Chara.. but they appear in a reflection in waterfall. And by then, Chara had already one single stripe. After all, their design had originated when Temmie had accidentally drawn a single stripe on Frisk!

What I'm trying to say is that the unused human could never have been implemented in tge actual game, as Frisk and Chara already have their design. Which means that the unused human might just be a teaser for Deltarune. So who could they end up being?

Given how it's Frisk's reflection, they must parallel each other in some way.

Well, this really only leaves either the vessel or Kris. And given how Kris' skin is completly different to the one our mystery character posseses, this really only leaves one other character: the vessel.

But wait... If I'm saying the vessel is the unused huma, as well as Chara... Then that means the unused human IS Chara too??? But their skin and hair is completly different!!

Yeah, and that's because Chara in geno, looks like someone who either lacks ANY sunlight, or just a corpse. My theory is that Chara, before dying, looked similarly to the unuswd human, but with cheeks also there. Why aren't the supposed DR Chara's cheeks visible? Well, why isn't their mouth visible? Even Kris has their mouth visible. It's almost like they don't have any facial features... Like the vessel, their goner version!

And what name does the unused human have in the files? CHARA. However, Frisk is named mainchara in the files, so the "Chara" here could very easily be short for character, so it isn't as decisive as it may seem.

On how did Chara manage to become a goner I am completly unaware. There are so many things we don't know about and this post is already getting long enough as is so I'll save it for another day. Maybe.

But now that I may or may not have uncovered the vessel's secret identity, this really only leaves one person who the alternate iteration of Frisk could possibly be: Kris!

PART V. KRIS IS FRISK!

I'd start with the fact that they share the same hair color and shin color, but everyone already knows that. How about some other things instead.

Pianpian is the name of the song that plays in the hidden Kris dreemurr page. It's... An interesting name, because Pian is an anagram for pain, but also piano without the letter o. Which is EXACTLY how you get from Frisk to Kris, as Kris is just an anagram of Frisk without the letter F.

Second, while it may seem difficult to know what Kris' morals are at first hand, I think a very important piece of evidence is their relationship with Susie, because they very clearly love her. This isn't just me pulling my shipper headcannons, there's actually a lot of in-game evidence that's actually quite solid.

...Again, read my posts on this topic.

But what does this have to do with Frisk? Well, everything! Because the way Kris deals with Susie is the way players are encouraged to do the pacifist route, but to an extent where it's flaws are shown. While you CAN fight most monsters until they spare you, this won't get you the yellow, happier descriptions in the credits of UT. Players are encouraged to ACT, instead. Kris, for whatever reason, remains quiet as to not alert their mother and punish, or perhaps even expel her. However, when they do ACT in new girl, they do it in a very flirty and natural way, very similar to how Frisk acts in UT. The reason I say this is flawed is becuase if this took place in the real world, they should have told Toriel about the situation, because if they didn't, Susie wouldn't have changed. Asriel even tells Frisk about this: "Not everything can be resolved by being nice."

...What I'm trying to say is, Kris wouldn't be this interested in Susie if they were a hateful person.

Other things:

When you lecture Ruddin, Kris will talk about the importance of kindness.

Both Frisk and Kris can play the piano.

Kris is a natural flirter, as seen with Head Hathy.

Kris in the entire weird route is stated to be very different as to how they actually are.

They wear a bandage and a pencil, almost like a more evolved version of the stick.

Kris has red eyes. When Frisk is possesed by Chara they have red eyes, but if this type of eyes are natural, then it is entirely possible that Frisk ALSO has red eyes.

In the 2023 aniversary newsletter Frisk is mistakenly referred to as Kris. So Toby can't even tell them apart LMAO.

Bratty says that when Kris was younger, they wanted to hang out with the big kids, and they jokingly said that if they went to buy some burgers Kris would be able to do so. Kris actually did exactly that and still got rejected. Poor kid...

What I'm trying to say is that Kris may actually be a lot nicer than we may have thought. Them being a prankster doesn't actually affect wheter they're hurtful or not. In fact, in the normal route in chapter 2, in one of the electric barrier puzzles, Noelle can activate the barrier in the exact spot Kris was in, and she will note how Kris seems hurt by her prank, meaning that Kris doesn't actually like pranks that they think are dangerous (not anymore?).

But, I wouldn't be honest with you if I didn't PROPERLY adress the counterevidence, even finding some of my own (people should do this more often).

First, their handedness.

Kris' handedess seems to be ambidextrous, as they use their left hand in ch 1 ending and their right hand in ch 2 ending.

What about Frisk's handedness...? At first, they seem to be left-handed, as their slash sprite is always the same, and would make more sense if it came from a left hand. But if you remember when Toriel was going through the spike puzzle, Toriel grabs Frisk's hand with her right hand. But Frisk alternates between their left hand and right one. Even when they grab the umbrella the exact same thing happens. It isn't a bug, Toriel's hand is consistent, it's Frisk's hands that aren't. I think that if Toby doesn't care that much about keeping Frisk dominant with one hand then we shouldn't either. I mean, the slash sprite always being the same could easly be explained by Toby not wanting to add another one because it would look weird. Tldr Frisk is probably ambidextrous because Toby doesn't care, at least not anymore in UT's final release.

So! That's everything, right?

No... Because I still have to tackle Sans' relationship with Frisk, as I kind of just recontextualized it in it's entirety.

PART VI. UNDERSTANDING SANS

So why does Sans hate Frisk so much? Why does he hate making promises? I mean, "don't forget" is a promise too, implying that he too, hated making that promise.

Well, for starters, I believe that Toriel asking him to protect the next human is not theo ONLY reason Sans didn't attack them. He made the mysterious promise to not forget Kris and their friends, which in turn meant that he couldn't forget about Frisk either, and their memories of being a good person.

Well, he does mention that they don't know it feels, knowing that one day everything will be reset. So is it possible that Kris will or has reset Deltarune? Perhaps, but I would like to point out something slightly less outlandish for the sake of this post.

His infamous line: "kids like you should be buring in hell" gains some interesting implications when you remember what "Hell" is associated with in Deltarune: The Roaring. After all, Jevil refers to it as "HELL'S ROAR", and Ralsei, when describing the roaring asks: "Is this your idea of paradise" wording which definetly will become very important later in the game.

After all, why WOULD Sans try to leave his homeworld? What catastrophe would make him leave, if not the Roaring or worse? And, why WOULD Sans say this to Frisk? Could it be, that he finds the idea of Frisk suffering in the calamity that is Hell's Roar? But that could only happen if...

Kris consciously helped bring or directly brought Hell itself to Deltarune.

How???? It directly contradicts EVERYTHING that I've been trying to say about Frisk! ...Right?

Well, the Roaring seems to be an allegory to something very interesting: letting yourself be consumed by fiction. So let's think, why would Frisk, or better said Kris, do this at all?

Well, if it HAD to be ONE reason in particular, it would be the same reason they climbed Mt. Ebott: because nobody loved them they way they are. Or at the very least, they THOUGHT so.

This question of seemingly not knowing if anybody loves Kris for the way they are is one that's been directly building up in the new girl page in the sweepstakes, particularly when Susie says that if Kris dissapeared, Toriel would be happy, and then Kris says something unexpected that Noelle doesn't hear. It also further connects Kris to Frisk and Chara, and maybe even the other six fallen humans. Of course, I DO belive that at least their family DOES love them for the way they are, at least to some extent, as well as Rudy and Noelle. Also, Susie is friends with Kris, not the player, because we can be the worst person imaginable and Susie doesn't care because she's not OUR friend, she's Kris', as them saving her is much more important than whatever we do in Chapter 1, at least as of now. Again, it's just that Kris THINKS they don't. But... Why?

Well, it could be anything from Kris hiding something from their friends that completly changes their view to US controlling them, making them feel like their friends don't love THEM. However, Frisk isn't noted to be upset in the pacifist route, so I don't think they mind if we do what they want, after all, they DO influence or ACTs. Instead, what if us controlling Kris makes their friends FEEL like they AREN'T their friend?

To this I... Do not know. There are so, SOO many possible plot points that it would just be too much for this post. So I'll leave it here. If you have any gripes with this theory, please let me know as long as you aren't borderline hateful. I do genuenly want to improve, even if it means acknowledging that my theory is objectivly bad, or something. But if you DO think I'm onto something PLEASE like and share, this is like the very first ACTUAL theory I've posted, so please let me know!

[hypergamiss]

Maybe you can help me understand the way insta's recommendations work....But I think If someone has ever had your phone number, you will be suggested to follow them on insta and vice versa. I think this is the gist, I've tried reading thru the policy but can't find anything that explicitly states this.

Anyway, I'm bringing this up because I'm about to change my phone number because I keep getting suggested to follow people I haven't seen in 6+ years. Like co workers and people from group projects in college. I have accidentally stumbled across so many girls' OF/sex work accounts and it makes me sad and embarrassed for them. The trend, especially for gen z, is to give sex work a chance because the media tells us it's lucrative. I'm so glad I chose not to put myself out there like that--the internet will do you dirty every time. The fake user names are not hiding anything.

I just got done reading thru mess on twitter. A young girl who had a lot of promise, went against my advice I gave her years ago and gave up a full ride for OF content. She really thought she would be better off without a degree. Well, she found a pimp/bf and they're both struggling while they rely on her content to pay the bills. Selling pics of her privates for 8.99 a month. I found all this because she was randomly suggested on insta. Neither one of us have the others numbers anymore, yet because we had that digital connection several years ago we will never be able to escape each other online.

I'm a sex positive woman, but I hate that so many girls lacked guidance and discernment when they made these decisions. If I am stumbling across these accounts against my will, imagine who else in their life is seeing this. The internet is forever and people are not as stealthy as they think they are. I just feel so sad knowing this digital footprint is going to haunt them later on. I had a SD in college but I met him through a friend and didn't need to put myself online. He was actually the one who taught me how to be truly anonymous online because he knew I'd be thankful for it once my career took off.

I'm not very knowledgable on instagrams recommendations but I'm guessing that it's using data that goes back all the way to when you first created a facebook profile since Meta became a thing and they're all under one umbrella now. There is so much that is being done with everyone's(personal) data, at this point it might have to do more with your email than you're phone number(or both).

I never fully understood the pimp dynamic. I legit thought the pimp concept was a made up thing that they used only for films and music videos(naive, I know). Then I grew up and one day met a "pimp" in real life(laughed at his face, I thought he was joking about it) and my jaw was glued to the floor. I still can't fathom why any woman would just hand over all her earnings to a man so he can just live off of her income and work her to death. Oh and they have multiple women at once??? My brain still doesn't want to accept that pimps are a real thing😅 Obviously now I assume that a trouble history and maybe drug abuse might lead women to this path, but even then. Pimps are NOTHING without women...

I agree with you on the digital footprint topic, I wish everyone took it more seriously.... It's a forever thing. More permanent than a tattoo or a marriage will ever be!

It also saddens me that many young women don't have the guidance that they could really use. I wish I could personally be there for each and every one of them.

[iolaussharpe-24]

I was not prepared.

Let's talk.

I was expecting Addams Family 2019 to be bad. I really was. My expectations were on the floor. I'd seen clips and I knew the cast. I knew the general breakdown of the plot. I wasn't expecting there to be so many parts that I would actually like.

Don't get me wrong, the thing is terrible. One of the worst Addams Family movies I've ever seen. (It's above Addams Family Reunion because that one put me to sleep five minutes in three different times over the years and I have yet to watch it all the way through. Also, I haven't seen Addams Family 2.)

The thing is, there were a lot of moments, jokes, and even plot points that I actually really liked, but the execution for most of them was 💩. I think a good half of it or so could potentially work on paper if not in an animated (or even live action) movie.

My favorite joke (that is to say, "the one that made me laugh the hardest") was the cotton candy bit.

Then you have the "lime in the coconut" nonsense.

The spider bridge followed by "surfing the web".

WTF.

Also, I'm saying this as an Addams Family fan and not a crazy fan of any of the cast specifically, even though I love so many of them, these guys were WASTED on this thing. Oscar Isaac was probably the best part (cause he's the only one who consistently sounded like he either gave a shit or was just trying to have some fun with terrible material) and I hate that he was in THIS version. I think that Oscar Isaac, Charlize Theron, Chloë Grace Moretz, and Bette Midler would be really good in live action as the same characters they voiced. Also, Finn Wolfhard was pretty good as Pugsley, but I can't see him trying to do it in front of a camera.

As an Oscar Isaac fan I'm gonna say that my boy got done DIRTY.

Before I wrap this up, I just want to talk about the character designs.

I can get behind using the original comic designs for an animated movie. It's been done before. I think that's a pretty neat idea. HOWEVER, that works a lot better with 2D animation than 3D.

The arms and legs on the kids are so pencil thin that there were times I couldn't see their limbs as they moved. They just blended into the background.

Like so much else, the idea was good, the execution was not. Everyone is too thin, too smooth, and too weirdly simple despite clearly being complex at the exact same time. They look like clay balanced on pencils and toothpicks. Basically, give these guys some carbs, and add more details like Wednesday's noose braids. As is, they make Vivziepop characters look heavy and healthy by comparison.

Like I said earlier, it's not the worst Addams Family movie I've seen, but it's right next to the bottom. If Addams Family 2 is anything like this first one, it might get bumped up a notch though. I can't say. Have to see it first.

Going from worst to best (movies only):

Addams Family Reunion (1998)

The Addams Family (2019)

The Addams Family (1991)

Addams Family Values (1993)

ONE OTHER THING!

If I had a nickel for every time an actor I thought could be a good Gomez Addams ended up in a terrible version, I'd have two nickels. It's not a lot, but I think it's funny that we've failed both Tim Curry and Oscar Isaac.

[deeptrashwitch]

Lights, camera, action

The beggining (part 12)

-A what? I'm sorry, I didn't hear you well-muttered Luke raising an eyebrow

-Look, I only know the name in spanish, but I think it's like a sorbet-said Alicia scratching her neck-since I can remember, they don't sell it here, maybe I've never seen it around

Both of them were walking around the base back on their usual mood, which was a relief for everyone. That day was calm and they were taking advantage of it to talk and train a bit more, right they were going for something to eat.

-Aren't you talking about the...piraguas?

-Piraguas? Hmm, now that you mention it, yeah, they are the same

-Then I know what you meant, those things are delicious

-Agreed

Once they arrived to the kitchen, they heard the muttering and whispers from inside. They shared a look before getting in just to notice that everyone was having lunch and hearing the news, now the world knew about all the dirty secrets of Elijah's old superiors. Alicia didn't say anything and just went for a portion of food while felt some satisfaction hearing about the scandal.

-Freakin' hell-murmured Luke while giving her a bottle of juice-she actually did it

-Told you, she has a lot of contacts, maybe even more than me

-And that's scary, for real Captain, what's with your family?

She just shrugged before starting to eat.

-This...this mean something for the trial?-asked Francis with curiosity

-I have no idea-muttered Jackson-but if it does, I hope it is the last nail to the coffin of those three

-But, where did they got that information?-questioned Noah while Elijah went to answer a call from his lawyer

-I have a little idea-whispered Edward to himself, looking Alicia through the corner of his eye

She noticed him and just nodded, which gave him the answer.

-So, all gunnery power, Captain?-muttered Luke with a smile-you really stained theirs and some others reputation

-Just my work, and we're independant. If they don't like it, they can kiss my ass

-If they ever know, probably they'll gonna come for you

-I'll be waiting

That made the man laugh, that would be a really interesting thing to watch. And so they continued the lunch after they changed the channel, this time putting the NFL and starting the bets inside that place.

Later all went to their own duties or to do something to kill time. Elijah just looked to his phone in absolute silence but smiling with his eye filled of tears, the news that his lawyer gave him...were amazing. He went to look for someone, first inside the offices, then on the cafeteria, the medic bay, the plane and even inside Noah's workshop.

Then smacked himself in the face when he remembered where they usually were. Elijah ran to the hangar that become Luke's workshop, seeing that the doors were open. And he looked out to be sure they were inside, and fortunately they were.

The red-haired was working on a black Chevy Impala while talking with the woman, who smiled really thankful to the man as he wasn't looking.

-I really owe this one, Luke-said Alicia calmly-you even treat it better that I do

-C'mon, have passed a long time since I saw this kind of car in this good state, it's my pleasure-joked him before looking her while cleaning his hands-but I can accept that you lend it to me someday

-Keep dreaming, boy

-I'm only three years younger than you

-Still

Then Elijah knocked on the door, and his superiors just looked at him.

-Uh Captain, Lieutenant...

-What is it?-said at the same time

-I just wanna know, about the scandal, you gave the media that information, didn't you?

-Why do you say that?-asked Alicia raising an eyebrow

-None of you were surprised about the news, neither curious, almost like you already knew what it was about-answered looking at them both-and I might be wrong, but exactly after Nicholas called you about the first public declaration it was just a matter of hours and days until everything came out. I know for a fact that most of journalist around here wouldn't let go something like that declarations unless they have something better

-It could've been Wraith-said Luke crossing his arms-the information was something she could get

-I don't think she cares that much about us, does she?

-Good point, I guess

-Whatever, what I wanted to say was...Lucius called me about what happened and he said that this will give us advantage-explained Elijah scratching his neck-apart of the fact that now they can face defamation charges, he explained me that if the Army wants to avoid a bigger scandal, is basically sure that they will be dishonored discharge even if we won the case or not

-Good news then, I'm glad

-Yeah, it feels good to know that even if it's not how I expected...there's some justice. For me and the others victims

Elijah stayed in silence for a second before gulp and walk towards the Captain. Without looking at her, he hug the woman with a big and relived smile. Alicia was surprised and Luke was speechless, but the black-haired patted the back of her soldier not knowing what to do.

-Thank you, Captain-muttered with his voice shaking-for everything

-I...

-You saved my life and many others with this, thank you so much

After that he broke the hug and smiled happily, then went to hug the Lieutenant too also muttering "thank you" again and again. Once again he scratched his neck before saluting and run back inside to talk with Noah, leaving the other two inside.

-I thought you didn't like being touched-said Luke looking the direction Elijah went away

-I don't-answered Alicia before smiling a bit-but this is an exception

-Already picking favorites?

-No, but...

-But?

-This is the first time it doesn't feel wrong or as a threat

Luke smiled when she said that, but didn't say anything and just went back to fixing a spark plug in the car. It was difficult to hear Alicia say something like that, but it was good to know.

-One day you should go to Rochester, or maybe to New York City

-NYC I get, but Rochester?

-You said you'll show me Arlington when we have some free time since is your native city, it's only fair to show you mine, isn't it?

-I suppose

A week later

Alicia was inside her office reading some if her paperwork with the news on the background, those days they started to have the first reports about things that might require their intervention. She left some of the locations, groups, and objective for an extensive research later and once they are sure what mission they'll be taking. Soon the news talked about the recent scandal and the discharge of two officers and one non-commisioned officer, when hearing that she scoffed while doing her work.

Good riddance.

But she was a bit worried, some of her contacts told her about the erratic behavior of one of them the day they were required to leave Fort Hamilton. Even if the base and the team as a whole were protected, they as individuals...not so much. It was something to be alert.

Soon someone knocked her door, and it was Wraith.

-Dominique, what brings you here?-asked taking her glasses off

-To make you keep your promise-said Wraith seriously-you said you'll take care if some of them came here personally

-...Which one is it?

-The Mayor

The black-haired just sighed and walked with the Coordinator to the entrance, watching through the cameras how the man was mumbling to himself.

-Is he a threat to himself?

-Not that we're aware of, but you know this kind of people

-Loose everything and you can do anything

-Be careful

The Captain said nothing and just went to talk with the man, while Wright stayed near the entrance as the team arrived to see what was happening. And as the woman approached, she noticed that he was probably drunk or under substances, so she sighed once again.

-Sir, please leave this place-ordered firmly once she was in front of him

-Ohh, look who's here! Are the fuckin' patron of this dumpster?-said the man with mockery

-Please watch your mouth, and leave. This is government property, you are prohibited of being here

-I'm not watching anything! I don't owe any respect, dumbass-growled as he lean trying to intimidate her-not after you ruined my life

-I haven't done anything, and even if you think you don't owe me any respect, at least have some for yourself-said unimpresed while looking him in the eyes-you were an officer before you did that...crap. Now, leave, this is the last warning

After saying that, she started to walk back shaking her head dissapointed. That was until something was thrown to her and smacked her in the back. She stopped her team with a sign while pinching the bridge of her nose, this was starting to be annoying.

-Stop that and go the hell away-said without looking at him

-Ha! Won't you even look at me? Pathetic-he mocked with some arrogance-just like that little bitch you shelter. Cowards, all of you

-Listen, I won't fight you since you're not in your right mind

That just pissed the man even more, and he threw something again. A rock, heavy, this time she recognized it after it smacked her in the head. Her anger was increasing, but just looked him with a dead look.

-No reaction? How sad, or maybe you'll make a lawsuit?-asked with a maniac laugh-this time even Wilson can give the lawyer an incentive, if you know what I mean

-...That's enough-muttered before approach him and grab him by the shoulder, thightening the grip until it was painful-I don't care what you say or do to me, I've passed through worse. But I'll tell you something. I created this team, they're under my command and I'm the first Specter. This. Is. MY. Team, alright? Lay a finger on my people, you loose the hand. Say something about them, you loose your toungue. Do anything to them...

Then she lean to look him, with her eyes absolutely frozen. It gave the veteran a chill, mostly with how she looked with her scars. Even more menacingly that anyone.

-And no one will found you again

-Uh...t-that's a threat, you cannot-

-And you attacked me, so, I can excercise my right of self-defense. Do you want to risk yourself?

He didn't say anything and Alicia just let him go. She walked once again, passing a hand through the place where the rock hit. Fortunately there was no blood nor pain, apparently whatever he was into made him weaker.

-...You think you're doing something good, huh Marchant? That you're doing something different from the last time?

-What?-muttered Alicia stopping once more

-Answer me, do you think you're protecting this people? Do you expect a different result?

-...We have nothing to talk-said before continue walking

-They'll die again, right in front of you, just as the last time-said the man with a malicious smile-once again you'll see them die. These soldiers are cursed just from being near you, and we both know that

-...

-Maybe they'll pass the same hell those boys did. I might be really interested to see that. See how you loose everything. The stone Guardian fell once, what about a second one?

After that he laughed and went away, at the same time Alicia got inside the base. She ordered to close the doors as she started to walk quicker, suddenly stopping in front of Wraith. She didn't looked any of her soldiers, which were both worried and confused, but just unzipped a knife sheath and gave it to her.

-I might do something really stupid-said before going inside the barracks again

Dominique just nodded heavily as she looked the Karambit inside the sheath. Luke and Jackson tried to follow Alicia, as well as the rest of the team, just to be stopped by Wraith.

-Don't

-But Wraith, what if the Captain has a wound on her head? Or a contusion? You saw that rock-discussed Jackson with a frown, to everyone surprise-let me at least be sure it won't be like the last time

-No, it's better for everyone that you leave her alone

-Why? In this cases it's better to be sure this kind of situations are treated on the medic bay-said Luke

But inside he was really worried when he saw the hands of the Captain. They were shaking, violently. And no one had seen that, Alicia was always under control.

-Why? Because if any of you do a single wrong movement, she'll kill you. And I'm not joking, neither is a metaphor. She will

Everyone went silent.

And while that happened outside, inside the barracks, Alicia was locking herself on her room. Her heartbeat was racing and it was difficult to breathe, she had to put a hand on the wall to avoid falling to the ground because of her head spinning. Those things he said...it brought her back to two years ago, to what happened.

While she was trying to take air, in the background of her head she heard the screams, the pleads and more. The scar on her neck, the one caused by a burn, started to itch, a hellish itch sensation. By force she kept her hands far form it, and every little sound that usually will occur inside the base, now scared, no, terrorized her while the world became bigger and bigger around her.

As a step got in front of her door, her hand reached for the knife to try and attack whoever entered. Once she noticed it wasn't there, a cold sweat ran down her face and the ghost feeling of the blood on her body appeared again. Flashes brought memories, the escape, that cracked in a second.

-No, please no...-whispered trying to calm down

-Captain?-asked Elliot knocking at the door-are you okay over there?

She didn't answer, but recognized the voice and made herself say something.

-I'm...fine-said with difficulty-I'm fine

-You sure? Jackson asked me to take you to the medic bay

-Jackson?

-Yeah, we were surprised when he admitted he was worried about you

-Did he?

-Yep, all of us are worried to be honest, mostly because of that damned rock-answered the engineer with a chuckle-but I have to say, you did an amazing job remaning calmed out there. I swear we even saw how you breathed fire...

She didn't paid attention to the rest, just focusing on the voice and not the words. As Elliot continued speaking she took deep breaths with every word, slowly going back to reality. Soon her mind processed where she was, and was able to stand up...when did she ended on the floor?

In silence reached the door, focusing too in the cold of the metal and the weather outside. Then opened and nodded, unable to say something without her voice cracking. And so they walked to the bay in silence, where Jackson was already waiting and just shook his head before point the stretcher.

-Aparently Elliot did what I couldn't-joked the blonde SEAL with a little smile-thanks

-It's okay, Sergeant, see you

Once the man get out of the medic bay, the medic started to check the place where the rock hit, near the neck.

-Well, you're lucky it didn't caused a wound, it's just a bruise...have you felt headache or dizziness?

She shake her head.

-Captain, I need you to talk to me, just to be sure

-...No, just nausea

The blonde raised his head abruptly, surprised to hear the frailness on the woman voice. For a second he didn't say anything, then went for a cup of water to give her.

-You're pale-said while leaning against the wall

-Hmm

-...We were worried about you, Edward, Luke and me, really worried. You were trembling, and honestly I had to stop Eager to go and commit a crime...I thought that would be Luke

-Edward was that angry, huh?-muttered the Captain with curiosity

-It was needed that Alexander helped too, I never thought he was THAT strong!

-He always has been

-Maybe that's why he became friends with you

-Maybe, but I never expected you were worried for me between all people

-Call it medical vocation-muttered while looking away

-...Thanks Jackson, I'm really glad you're here with us-said as she drink the water-people like you is difficult to find now

-What? Grumpy?

-No, selfless and caring...even if you're grumpy sometimes

The medic blinked surprised before he scoffed and laugh.

-All the team is like that

-I'm lucky then

-Well, we are soldiers, since the beggining we're selfless-said with a smile-but if we all care so much, it's because we don't want to dissapoint you, Origin

-I doubt you can dissapoint me, and, Origin? What's with that?

-Francis and Marcus, they were talking about what happened outside and said it sounded like you were the origin of the team-answered as he shrugged-then Noah heard it and called Luke and...

-I thought it could be a good callsign-said the Lieutenant from the entrance-how you feeling, Captain?

-Better, how's everyone?

-More calm, is she free to go, Doc?

-For now, but bring her if there's a headache, nauseas, dizziness or any kind of problem-said Jackson before going back to the rest of his work-and for God sake, don't let Edward end in here, deal?

-Don't worry, I'll get it

Soon Alicia and Luke were walking again in silence, then the woman started to chuckle and that brought the red-haired atenttion.

-Alicia?

-So, now I'm Origin apparently, huh?-said with a smile-I like it

-You do? I'm glad-muttered Luke relieved-I thought you would keep your old callsign

-Are you kidding? I told you that "Guardian" doesn't exist anymore, now there's only me

-And that's good to hear. Back to work, do we have a mission in line or not yet?

-We have reports, but nothing concrete. However, if I have to give an opinion, our possible first mission could be on the Pacific Region

-Especific location?

-We have some, the one that worries me the most is South Korea

-A rescue?

-Not so much, it's something I'm familiar with. Traffick web

-Guns? Animals? Humans?

-All of it, these people call themselves 'Six Aces' and the leader as far as we know, is referred as 'Red Dragon'. They have operations across three continents, Asia, America and Africa

-Nothing inside Europe?

-Not that we are aware of

-That's new, but I guess our trip will be to Korea

-No, that's just one of the places. The reports came from China, Chad, South Korea, Sudan, Singapur, Morocco, Indonesia, Brasil, Argentina and India

-I see

-Get prepared, Harlem, the work awaits and we might need some help to lead with this

-Yes ma'am

[yuurei20]

Added Dialogue Compilation Part 1

Dialogue changes are a natural part of the localization process, and sometimes entirely new dialogue that never existed in the first place gets added to better appeal to the different target market.

For example:

Trey: His signature spell is a weapon.

A heavy judgement from Trey, this line didn't exist in the original game. Does this mean that Trey (as he was originally written) doesn't actually consider Riddle's magic to be a weapon? Or maybe it's originally unspoken subtext being said aloud?

Ace: Nah, bro. I've got a shovel and I am DIGGING.

Ace, Cater and Grim might be the three characters with more NA-original dialogue than any other. Most of the time it is very much on brand.

Chenya: They're out of this world.

Chenya: Oh, but it's LOTS of fun!

Trey: ...but calling it "poison" is kinda...yikes.

I just realized that NA isn't getting Chenya's verbal tic of saying "nya" (meow) all the time! Linguistically impossible, I think, which is too bad :<

Cater: If you were on all Magicam, I'd totally unsubscribe from your feed.

Cater: Hashtag # lame.

Cater: ...and keep this in the figurative DMs, if you catch my drift?

Cater's original slang is impossible to recreate in English, but it is certainly less SNS-centric than what it has been turned into on NA.

Cater: The smiles and the tears?

For Ruggie, both "Boss" and "Cross my heart and hope to die!" were added to the NA edit of the game. (memo: want to confirm whether or not Ruggie ever canonically refers to Leona as anything other than Leona-san)

Ace: You're more of a square than Loosey-Deucey over here!

Ace: Keepin' your friends close and your anemones closer over there!

Ace: All in favor? Aye! The ayes have it!

Given how difficult humor is to translate, the introduction of American-style jokes is no surprise :>

Ace: ...but what's life without a little spice?

Floyd: ...a dirty dishrag!

Floyd's expression here was changed from a one-time throwaway line by Azul in Book 4 (that made sense in the context of one specific scene) on JP to a phrase that Floyd uses repeatedly on NA.

Grim: Er, do they have hills underwater? Whatever.

Grim: And make it extra drink-y!

Grim and Ace having so many NA-style jokes added might come from them being on the "comedy relief" end of the spectrum? These aren't gags that were changed, however, but were added entirely.

Jade: ...brother...

(neither twin refers to the other as anything other than their first name, as an age-neutral word for 'brother' does not exist in Japanese and neither tweel is any older than the other)

Floyd: Hey, are you yankin' my tail here?

Azul: ...your face is going to crack when you hear this

Ace: Gee, you think a GAZILLION windows was enough?

(all above added for NA)

Cater: Oh, the drama! Oh, the SUSPENSE!

Jack: What're they gonna do, flog me?

Jack has a variation to his speech patterns similar to (but less dramatic than) Epel's, which really can't be recreated in English. That might be where lines like this come from, to compensate.

[taikk0]

old art dump!?1!11?!! [part 1]

yeah I really wanted to post these at some point but they're so fcuking ugly they don't deserve to be posted out in the open for all to see 💀💀

like if I were to ever post these one by one I think my dignity would take a huge blow, and that's coming from someone with a massive crater in their chest where their ribcage once was because all their self-respect got absolutely THWACKED out of their body the moment they started simping for the krang. SPOILER ALERT I'm that someone

anyways they're all under the cut peer at your own risk

I know I already posted this here on my improvement post but fun fact: this was the very first fanart I made this year getting back into Rise

also yes there will be commentary, I will always feel the need to explain myself when it comes to things I would greatly want to apologize for 🧍‍‍♂️

WHY DID I DRAW THEM SO HORRIBLY DEFORMED WHO DROPPED THEM RAPH OVER HERE LOOKING LIKE MEGAMIND AND LEOS BUILT LIKE A PIATTOS CHIP

I literally do not remember the context of this at all. not sure if it was a continuation of something, but if it was I can't find the rest of it

don't know how to draw the turtles???? MEME REDRAW BABY

character development is finally realizing Mikey isn't a literal circle lIKE????? WHY IS HE SO BOILED EGG

this was also in my "I have no idea how to properly color" phase, which explains why it's so monotonous compared to the colors I tend to choose now. Everything just looks so murky.... like dirty paint water.....

the mystic door symbol thing doesn't mean anything, I think past Michael just wanted to fill in the space

mikyomix name reveal real?? jk it's always been out, I just haven't mentioned it here, anywho yes hi it's me a Michael

might redraw this soon actually, who knows

this was the very first time I ever actually drew Donnie right, where he didn't make me nauseous just by looking at him, and IT WAS FROM THIS WEIRD SPECIFIC ANGLE FROM SOME REASON. If I ever drew him in a way that looked good it was almost always THIS angle, especially in doodles, it was never ever Donnie actually facing front, it was just him with this weird slouch and his back turned slightly.

am I using too many of whatever "," is, listen I almost flunked English I can't punctuate for crud but I'm trying my best over here ok

(side note: the file name is called "dunkin donuts"???)

this was never supposed to see the light of day, but I think this would be considered fanart of a fanart?? I saw taytei 's species swap au on pinterest before I knew who they were and decided "yk what?? yeah I'll steal it but only for me because I'm bored"

which brings me to the next few drawings

LOOKING AT THESE SENT SHIVERS DOWN MY SPINE AND MY DINNER UP MY THROAT I DON'T LIKE THEM

we're moving on I don't like looking at these they're gross 💀

I made a joke about Donnie giving Leo his own tablet because he kept stealing it based on a very old drawing back in 2019 and it led to the idea of Leo turning into an Ipad kid, crusty screen and Ipad case in all its glory

if it wasn't obvious the background is a png of McDonald's because of course they're at McDonald's

ok, this is gonna sound so stereotypically ADHD of me but listen it makes sense lemme explain

so basically, I had a silly thought in my head that I've had for a long while about Donnie being British for no reason with no explanation as to why, it's not a headcanon it's just a funny thought I like to think about (so maybe it's an AU idk)

and I was binging Jack Whitehall (who was British) and it got to the part where he went on a schpiel on Robert Pattinson where he was talking about what it was like to go to school with him and there was this one section where he talks about being in school theatre with him.

and I thought.... "man wouldn't it be funny if that was the disaster twins..." and everything spiraled from there.

I made up this whole Yokai school they would have gone to if they didn't live in the sewers. Donnie is the head of the drama club, he always plays and casts himself as the main character in his own productions that he himself directs because he's just that good at his job. Leo joins the drama club and shows Donnie up, making him a little bit jealous. Leo is only let in because of the club members vouching for him, Which then leads to Donnie treating him poorly and casting him as a tree (SEE WERE COMING FULL CIRCLE) this obviously upsets Leo and ends up giving him more of a reason to become the center of attention, What was supposed to be a drag ended up helping Leo more than harming his chances of ruining Donnie's plans.

Everything then spirals into a competitive back and forth as to who is the better actor. It stops being about who gets to play which part and more about who comes out of this feud alive with a prestigious acting role tied to their name.

That was everything I thought about at the time though I just thought "HAHA DISASTER TWINS HIJINX" and that was it

someone send me that Donnie toy with the big head and maybe I will start writing fanfiction/JJJJJ

I had this idea of Donnie adopting a dog from Todd because it had an attitude and then the dog ended up being just as smart as him helping him solve equations and stuff and eventually it became his lab partner

yeah that paired up with the RotTMNT drama club thing I sound like I have a very weird brain we're moving on

I have to admit this because I really didn't wanna post this without a heads up but yes this is inspired by that one drawing made by h*bermen right before I even knew about what they did and I feel guilty about this one sometimes just by the sheer fact that it's even loosely associated to them :/

I have nothing to say about this one other than I suck at rendering

this drawing of the boys fighting over their childhood blankie was supposed to be a bit of a concept for a comic I wanted to make but never got around to even writing it out,

the gist of it was that the lair was starting to get a bit messy with the things they've hoarded over the last couple of years, so the turtles+splinter decided to clean everything up, managing what to throw away and what to keep

they come across a blanket that they used to have as kids (which was the same blanket from the flashback in hidden city's most wanted) The individual turtles are hesitant at first and decline wanting to keep it, but overtime they start to realize just how much they want their childhood blanket back. They start making excuses and stealing the blanket from one another, insisting that they needed it for something important, which was very much not the case.

soon everything ramps up to the point where their methods of trying to take ownership of the blanket start getting wilder and wilder and hijinx ensues, not long before everyone overtly starts fighting over it like their life depended on it at the climax of the episode.

I didn't really have a plan yet as to how it was going to end, but if I were to make something up on the spot I'd say either:

A.) it's revealed that the blanket was actually splinter's old bath towel that he doesn't use anymore, the turtles are disgusted by this and stop fighting over it. That is until the twist at the end where one of the turtles comes back for it and takes the towel for themselves when no one is around. gross.

B.) Mikey stops the fight before it gets too serious, calling him and his brothers out for acting like savages over a blanket. Soon everyone realizes that the blanket isn't important, the blanket may be of great significance to them, but their memories together will always be more important, and they can't let a simple piece of cloth tear them apart.

and then after everyone else has left and made up, turns out that it was actually Mikey's plan all along to have them stop fighting to keep the blanket for himself.

this is more of a doodle but I had to bring this one up because it's just funny to me

basically, I was drawing Leo and I had two separate layers, I drew Leo photogenically on the layer above with the deranged Leo invisible underneath, and after some time I completely forgot what I drew on the layer below and made it visible again

yeah you can imagine my soul leaving my body

white-eyed Raph freaks me out,,, where did the yellow go,,,,

"I'M SENSITIVE LEO"

this is the only non-turtle drawing in this whole post I think

okay, a bit of a backstory on this one, this was my very first actually finished RotTMNT animation. It was for a trend on TikTok not too long ago where artists would be drawing a character and the character would move to let the artist continue drawing them

This one animation has single-handedly given me so much clout, like holy crap it's literally at 5M views now and it scares me a little 😭😭

for anyone wondering, its this one

YES I AM AWARE OF HOW CRINGE IT IS LEAVE ME ALONE IM NOT THE SAME PERSON I WAS BACK IN MAY

or whatever month it was, I have no idea what 5-5 is supposed to mean I can't read tiktok dates

not rise related but oh my word I absolutely do not have an actual art style 💀

donnie gets trolled

very eyestrainy. this is a WIP screenshot from an animation meme I never finished

I still have the Krita file btw, so maybe one day ill get to show u guys the full soon if I ever get around to finishing it

I have no idea why I formatted this the way I did, but I'm assuming this was most likely a doodle right on top of the animation meme I mentioned earlier and I just didn't bother cropping it

yeah idk why I drew them with really big eyes

he's sleep-deprived and done with everything he's about to go apeshit

also, weird brush

when I tell you guys I was SO READY to see Leo die in the movie before any information on it came out

vine reference in 2022 baby

I'll have you guys know this was completely by accident

Anyways that's as much as I could fit in one post!! I have a bit more but ehhh maybe sometime later

these are all in the order I made them in, which explains why it kind of gets better the more you scroll, so I hope your eyeballs have been cleansed even slightly by the newer ones jfdsjfkI

I have no idea how to end this post uh like and subscribe

[help-i-need-a-cool-username]

Its the end of the year! Which means its time to post the

Tags That Made Me Smile 2022

The following are a collective list of tags, author notes, and fic names that i saw on ao3 and tumblr that made me either laugh or smile. Ive separated them by fandom but a good amount arent actually fandom specific. Ive added the character names or fandom at the end like {name} to clarify who the tag is talking about

[2021's list]

Author Specific / Non-Specific

i saw canon; acknowledged it; And promply burned it in a dirty trash can thanks; Have this instead

Give me pain I need to feel something

this is self projection thank you coming to my ted talk

Whats that?? Overused tropes that everyone has seen before????? Pfffffffft. This fic is literally just a big mess of "how can I cater to myself and myself only"

you ever just look at your life and wonder how you got here; bc that's what this fic is for me

Don't underestimate me I DO NOT know how long this fan-fic will be

can you tell my target audience is myself

this is content specifically catered to me and no one else

these characters are my landlords and i pay them rent

P O L Y A M O R Y   I S   M Y   P O L Y J A M O R Y

cheek kiss warning

kidnapping isn’t sexy don’t do it

i've never read the archie comics but that's not gonna stop me {archie sonic}

not me writing a whole fic for a ship only i care about; that like maybe two other people ship; rowing this boat is hard but someone has to do it {scourge x fleetway sonic}

ankles don't heal this fast but fuck it i do what i want

no beta we die like men; or rather we drown like the sad shipper with a pool noodle we are

I'm afraid of the Danimals mascot and you should be too

if you're getting flood warnings, don't worry. It's just MY TEARS!

me at every character: anxiety be upon ye

Me (Grabs canon and runs a marathon with it)

Quote: Do you think God stays in heaven because he too lives in fear of what he's created (Spy Kids) {tmnt crossover}

Alternate Universe - Monty Python and the Holy Grail

contains dangerous amount of bed based snuggling

(kind of its a very short very homosexual fight scene); and then they kiss.

Hostage situation takes a romantic turn???? Not clickbait????

enemies to frenemies

Improper Use of Pool Noodles

stone cold stoicism meeting determined stupidity

Star Wars

Kanan Jarrus: The Daddening

platonic love is what healed his lonely existence {din djarin}

when in doubt: road trip with the besties {din, boba, fennec}

Soul Eater

found family at its finest {kid, liz, patty}

The Witcher

wife (platonic) {yennskier}

at first I was like haha geralt and Istredd should kiss as a joke…. but bro I don’t think it’s a joke anymore….

Sonic the Hedgehog

Movie!Super Sonic is made out of LOVE no one touch me

Sonics gay awakening I guess

sonic movie 2 made me make an ao3 account lol

Sonic was made to love people

Two Bros Chillin’ in an ER Five Feet Apart ‘cause they’re not gay {sonic x shadow}

the most dangerous thing is to love {shadow}

Trapped in a small box with just enough room to face some feelings {sonic x shadow}

the R in rivalry stand for romance {sonic x shadow}

The L in Rivalry Stands For 'Love' {sonic x shadow}

A Largely Platonic Cave

i love boom!shadow so naturally i made him even more insufferable

Sad-ow

Wachowskis holdin it down in the bg; Absolute champs

I love how Shadow is just so mindbogglingly utterly done with reality

Knuckles is a guardian of all things great and small

“Would you kiss a worm?" “If he was cute as fuck? Yeah.” {wade x stone}

"What is this made of, bendable titanium?!" "INCORRECT. IT IS MADE OF THE FRUSTRATIONS OF MOTHERS EVERYWHERE." {team dark}

featuring a scourge that trips far too much because it's my fic and I said so {scourge x fleetway sonic}

no thoughts just soft hedgehog moments

listen if im going to die at the hands of injured lancelot shit i might as well take advantage of it

Everyone has a crush on Lancelot and I'll die on this hill

fairy Lancelot Fairy Lancelot FAIRY LANCELOT!!!

TMNT

Slow Burn; mostly on april's end of things; casey and donnie are basically on fire right off the bat {tmnt 2012}

Rise!Donnie and 2012!Casey be out there committing arson together for their first date >.>

Please enjoy Casey, the fool, realizing his feelings for Donnie, another fool {tmnt 2012}

Draxum and Splinter are the turtles' dads (it's a reluctant partnership)

just two absolute powerhouses holding each other gently {raph x mona}

“There’s nothing wrong with the way you love, Dee. Goodnight.” {rottmnt}

Wondering what to do when the apocalypse happens? Easy: fly across the country and get Vegas-married. That's definetley an appropriate reaction that won't involve your complicated feelings towards your roommate at all {hypno x warren}

Look rise are weapons of war 12 were accidents and I play with that HARD in this fic

"GET IN THE TURTLE TANK BITCHES WE GOING TO FAMILY THERAPY" {rottmnt}

Donatello is now Dad-Atello {rottmnt}

The other [Casey] is out on a beach in Tahiti; It's what he deserves after surviving the Krang {rottmnt}

Leo is now actively being hunted for sport; (the only sport Donnie is good at) {rottmnt}

These turtles can fit so much trauma

2018 Karai lives because fuck Nick; Casey x Donnie x April are a healthy ship and also fuck nick again

I cant be the only one pissed by Leo's and Karais 'love interest plot'; Leonardo's weird feelings were simply gender envy...Yes that is canon now {tmnt 2012}

What happens when two "dudes" call each other 'girlfriend'; Transgender activities, that's what! {tmnt 2012}

splinter is twice divorced and never married {rottmnt}

Papatello / Dadatello {rottmnt}

draxum's gone from dadxum to grand-dadxum good for him

HOLY FUCKING SHIT YES YES YES YES; GRANDPA BARRY COMING IN CLUTCH

draxum just be like gramps still got it; and by 'it' i mean a complete lack of forethought for care when creating random children

Puts the Bi in Bitchless {rottmnt leo}

its because ninja turtles

feral mamatello {rottmnt}

Marvel

it's the anguish, the self flagellation, the audacity to love the man who annihilate ur nation and killed ur mother; your m o t h e r {black panther}

[boop-le-snoot]

@buckyownsmylife hey babe! Remember that one time you threw that cool challenge? Here's my entry. Prepare to get absolutely ruined because daddy!Bruce is exactly that sort of man.

main masterlist ☀️ taglist

emotional support nerd

Your best friend's dad, Dr. Bruce Banner, is hotter than you thought he would be. 6k words, NSFW. Kind of Alt!Reader - she refers to herself as 'goth' in one instance. Tony Stark makes an appearance because God forbid I write a fanfic without him in it.

This is filthy pron, ft. age difference (reader is college aged) daddy kink, throat fucking, dirty talk, praise kink, cream pie, possessiveness, belly bulge and ending with a hint at a threesome. I really crammed all I could from Eyre's wheel in here, didn't I. Oh well.

"How much longer, dad?" Lyra's annoyed voice struck a chord within me. I tried to hide my snickering - unsuccessfully might I add - causing my best friend to shoot me a hurt look, equally fed up with me as she was fed up with her forgetful adopted father. "You know what, we'll take the subway."

Lyra's father's voice, both agitated and apologetic, reached my ears in bitten-off phrases as the traffic noises around us grew in volume, NYC rush hour rapidly approaching its peak.

With a sound huff, Lyra removed the phone from her ear, staring me down with the most amount of petulance I've ever seen on her usually reserved, placid face. "It's twenty more minutes. Apparently he's driving Tony's car," she offered in the way of explanation, like it actually did anything to better the cold, wet situation we found ourselves in. "Please, and I can't stress this enough, please don't be weird."

I felt a flood of amusement at Lyra's pleading tone. "Darling, if you wanted a normal friend, you should have looked elsewhere," I gestured to my outfit. I looked like a goth boy's wet dream: chunky platformed boots, fishnets, heavy eyeliner. Of course, all in black.

"You know what I mean," she whined, waving off my pointing hand and fixing me with a hard stare. "The least my dad needs is someone that is terrified of him just because sometimes he turns into a big green monkey. It's not as exciting as internet thinks, anyway," the last part of the sentence was mumbled but I heard it nonetheless as Lyra stared out into the traffic, clever eyes looking for a particular car model.

What Lyra didn't know was that I was not at all considering to be terrified by the man who dosed himself with radiation and developed an advanced version of split personality disorder. I could be intimidated by him, sure, because he was incredibly intelligent, a world class scientist with more PhDs than I had zeroes in my bank account, but even despite his green problem, Dr. Bruce Banner was about as far away from 'scary' as a man could be.

The few scarce pictures of him on the internet showed a short, stocky man with kind eyes and salt-and-pepper curls, always dressed in un-ironed, crumpled button-ups with dorky patterns. Looking at him, I mused that there was a high chance he spoke with a stutter and that fact amused me to no end. Jekyll and Hyde, alright.

Lyra was much the same way. Shy and reclusive, with curly brown hair and doe eyes, she spent a good chunk of her first semester in college being avoided by everybody because of her last name; I, on the other hand, avoided everyone out of habit, I'd never been a social butterfly, but the way people subtly made sure to exclude Lyra from all the activities filled me with quiet, seething rage, and I stepped over my general distaste of people and removed my bag from the seat next to me so Lyra could at least study in relative peace.

Yeah, yeah, you've heard it all, I'm sure. Weird goth chick adopts a socially awkward, shunned nerd and they become best friends forever. I had to admit that under the shy exterior, Lyra was smart, witty and even funny sometimes. She was willing to entertain my crude jokes without moaning, at least, and I was perfectly okay with listening to her rant about science every now and then.

Rain banged on the slanted roof of the café we were hiding in, the autumn wind howled, making both of us shiver at the prospect of having to go outside, even if it was for a short moment to run to Lyra's dad's car. The day had started out warm and sunny, but much like a badly calculated chemical formula, it all went downhill a split second after we had set out to leave campus.

"There he is," the grouch in Lyra's expression had me once again unsuccessfully attempting to conceal my snorting.

Nonetheless, I followed her out into the rain, struggling to keep up with the brisk running in my platformed shoes, unceremoniously crawling into the car behind her without sparing a glance at the driver in my eagerness to get out of the freezing downpour.

"Hi, dad," Lyra's tired voice spoke up at the same time as I angrily shook out my hair.

"I've just about McFuckin' had it with New York," I was afraid the dye in my hair would bleed out into my clothes, or even worse, the nice, cream-colored car seats.

"Hello, ladies," the voice that greeted us was low, gravelly and apologetic to boot.

My eyes shot up, meeting an expression full of surprise and amusement. I stared at the shockingly handsome face of Dr. Bruce Banner like a deer in the headlights.

The fine mimic wrinkles had stretched into a resemblance of a smile, soft, plush lips revealing a set of straight, white teeth. The five o'clock shadow framed his jaw, giving it a sharp, defined edge, his clever brown eyes slid down my form, faltering on the pentagram on my belt and my fishnet-covered legs, settling on my chunky boots before hastily snapping back up to my face.

"Dad, this is..." Lyra's voice was full of suspicious bewilderment as she attempted to dissipate the sudden awkwardness.

"Oh, yeah, I'm Dr. Bruce Banner, but you can call me Doc or Bruce," he cleared his throat, turning himself towards the windshield and starting up the car.

"Nice to meet you," I busied myself with putting away any stray hair just to occupy myself with something during the time I needed to recuperate from being just... Looked at by Lyra's dad.

It sounds ridiculous, I know, but I was so taken aback by his handsomeness and his aura of a gentle but powerful man that the ride to Stark tower, however swift, went on in slightly awkward silence. The streets outside were, thankfully, noisy, and the lack of an attempt to have a conversation could easily be attributed to Bruce's need to focus on the road, but Lyra's increasingly concerned looks did very little to settle the sudden racing of my heart.

"C'mon, I'll give you some sweats so you can let your..." Lyra's vague gesture towards my upper body disappeared behind her side of the door. "Hey, Tony," she suddenly interrupted her sentence, very obviously addressing another person who I managed to miss as Bruce parked in the spacious garage.

"I've been told you're finally bringing your friend, Green Pea," a voice I'd heard a thousand times on the TV poked fun at Lyra.

She bent down to retrieve her bag, shooting big eyes at me and mouthing an exaggerated "Sorry!"

Tony Stark looked about a week in debt on sleep, a contrast to the way he usually appeared in public. The exaggerated eyebrow raise made me shuffle awkwardly in my spot; the Led Zep tee caught my eyes as I lingered on it, aware of my own Mötorhead top on display. He noticed it too, causing his face leave the snide territory.

"Wow, I didn't expect kids these days to have any resemblance of taste in music but you've surprised me, Corpse Bride," he gave me a quiet wolf-whistle, watching me through lidded eyes.

I felt my eyebrow crawl upwards at his attitude but Bruce spoke up before I could say anything: "Tony, no," so firmly, I had to raise both of my eyebrows. I felt a smile tug at my lips, the situation strikingly familiar in it's essence. Like father, like daughter...

"No," Lyra's identical expression, fond and annoyed, topped up with an accusing finger pointed in my direction had everyone snorting a giggle at the situation.

"Lyra," I whined, just so I could coax her grin that she was very obviously trying to conceal. "See, I told you, every crazy genius needs their emotional support nerd," I fixed her with a pointed look.

She promptly grabbed me by the arm, leading all of us to the elevator as the two men behind us shared a hearty laugh at my well-timed joke. It was either that or I would have completely embarrassed myself by gaping and drooling over both THE Tony Stark and Lyra's father.

The rush didn't stop there. I was promptly and generously offered not only a spare pair of pants but also a whole room to stay in after an invitation to dinner I simply could not refuse. Dr. Banner firmly coaxed me into staying overnight with his pleading eyes and a hearty seasoning of guilt tripping, softly crooning how he simply could not let a young woman to wander the cold, rainy night in NYC alone.

Tony added something too, in a tone way too surefire and patronising. I guessed he noticed my eyes lingering on Dr. Banner, being a genius and all.

In a short amount of time, I found myself seated at a dinner table next to a happy, giggling Lyra who'd downed a glass of wine and was well into her second. I found it adorable how much of a lightweight she was; not hesitating in the slightest to point out that fact when she made hands for a pitcher of water.

Tony was the first one to snark back something vague about his college days and all the wild parties he used to throw, booing Bruce upon discovery that he, in fact, actually studied in college in favour of partaking in various illicit activities. That had both me and Tony giggling with Lyra promptly joining in, both of us losing it over the running joke or her being either a test tube baby or the result of immaculate conception.

Bruce's face blushed scarlet. He sputtered, a few stray drops of his lemonade landing on the (ironed!) collar of his purple shirt, cough disappearing in the wake of Tony's truly amused cackling. Dr. Banner was well on his way to either choke on his Lo Mein or turn green; thinking quickly, I decided to defuse a situation by sharing a harmless, funny story that happened to me as a freshman.

"I went on a date with this guy who said that music was the most important thing in his life, and I thought, wow, that's so beautiful!" I began my story over Lyra's incessant snickering. "So we had dinner and went back to his place because I'm a whore," the whole table erupted in laughter at my deadpan remark, Tony reaching over to give me a high five.

"And as we got there, he put on one of his demos which was just a bunch of sampled and remixed Guns'n'Roses songs, and I thought wow, that's gotta be one of the worst things I've ever heard," I pointedly looked away as Lyra's cackling grew in volume, having heard the same story several times by now and the outrage I expressed at the situation first hand.

"But instead of that I said, wow, that's so cool! Then we did the thing and his whole bedroom was covered in Axl Rose posters and I'm sure at some point Mr. Rose stared right up my asshole," there were tears streaming down Lyra's face as Tony flopped his upper body onto the table and Bruce convulsed helplessly in a silent fit of giggles. "And then I thought to myself: wow, I would have to pretend to like his music if I dated this guy and I just couldn't do that..." I breathed out, succumbing to the mirth at the dinner table. "It was good but not November Rain good, y'kno?"

Bruce snorted loudly, sliding down his chair with a hand over his face. The table shook with the force of Tony's cackling; I didn't see his expression but the howling, rasping noises sent me into another fit of laughter, right on par with Lyra.

"Is this..." Tony rapidly inhaled the much-needed oxygen. "Is this why you keep wincing whenever I play the 'Roses in the lab?" Tony wheezed and Lyra nodded.

"I just... I can picture it, and I-" she made a vague, encompassing gesture and a face.

"Please, don't," I urged with a snort. "There are better ways to get disappointed."

Dinner went on by smoothly after that, everybody happily making remarks on my dating fail, the topic of Lyra's birth and Tony's college shenanigans dismissed.

I caught Dr. Banner's pointed look as we finished our dessert - he was studying me, eyes searching for something that he very obviously wished was there. From the damp roots of my hair to the soft, cotton top clinging to my chest, I wasn't left unscrutinzed and unexamined. Like one of the many specimens he studied on a daily basis, Bruce lingered on the many characteristics that made me stand out in the grey crowd.

"Would you like to see the labs?" He asked, appearing behind me without a single sound.

The freshly cleaned dishes clattered in my arms. I'd almost dropped them, startled, but Bruce's hand landed on the top of the stack right before the top plate would have slipped off and shattered into pieces on the cold tile of his kitchen.

Blood rushed to my ears. "I'd love to," my brain had briefly returned to reality, the rush of meeting both Stark and Banner succumbing to logic and reason. My and his fields of study briefly overlapped, the question he posed was more than reasonable. In fact, many people would cheat, lie and steal to be in my position.

Bruce smiled, opening a cabinet and taking half of the dishes I was holding to stack them up in their proper place. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up, exposing wide, muscular forearms littered with dark, coarse hair.

I was sure my face was flaming. After waving off Lyra's attempts to put shoes on me and leaving her to watch her TV show, a wide, warm palm rested on the back of my waist, gently steering me towards the elevator.

I tried to keep my eyes off Bruce in the large mirror on the walls of the car as it swiftly moved down, scrutinizing my appearance instead. My throat bobbed, the elevator car suddenly too small and too hot.

His eyes left marks on me - invisible ones, the kind that I knew were there just from the scorching heat sizzling on my skin.

There was a certain je ne sais quoi about him. Perhaps, it was in the way he was acting - a polar opposite of what I'd had expected, Dr. Bruce Banner possessed a quiet confidence and his patience appeared to be endless, heartily doused with an appreciation for his closest ones. The way his eyes lit up in response to people smiling around the dinner table was hard to miss.

When Bruce spoke about his research - whatever wasn't classified, anyway - the spark expanded into a mischievous fire. I could hardly understand the nuances in his work, scratch that- I could not understand a single word he was saying, at all. The individual syllables registered as they should, but my traitorous brain could only focus on the way he licked his lips in between quickly inhaled breaths.

"You're not... Following, are you?" The corner of his mouth lifted upwards, clever brown eyes fixed on my face.

God, I hoped I wasn't drooling. But to deny the obvious would have been a stretch. "No, not really," I swallowed, willing my eyes to lift from the large veins on the hand that was pointing at a set of equations. Reasonably good at math any day, they looked like the scribbles of a madman to me at the time.

Dr. Banner sighed, letting silence creep among the whirring machinery in the lab for a brief moment. "I don't scare you?" He removed his glasses, cleaning them with the corner of his shirt.

The question reeked of self-doubt and, perhaps, insecurity. "No," I answered simply, not giving him the slightest chance to find doubt in my words. I was barely holding my voice from shaking, afraid he'd misunderstand my reaction to the sudden change in atmosphere.

He was closer to me than I recalled. My hip was almost brushing his, the bulk of his shoulder millimeters from touching against my bare skin, the smell of something herbal, like tea, and sharp chemicals clouding my senses. It was such a contrasting experience.

Bruce turned to me, an expression between hunger and regret forcing me to shiver and look him straight in the eye. A hand landed on my waist, holding me in place with gentle firmness. "I'm a monster, I could hurt you," he whispered, leaning into me like a touch starved kitten. The man screamed contradiction. "We shouldn't."

Vivid images of the Hulk and the rampages years prior flashed through my mind; the rubble, the collateral damage in the form of many lives. I barely remembered it, having been too little to really understand what was going on. One thing, though, I knew for sure: ever since the world became aware of Lyra's existence, there had been no incidents. Sure, the Hulk still appeared when there was a threat, but there were no documented incidents of the green creature running amok, accidentally.

"You won't hurt me," I spoke with conviction. Perhaps, I was bluffing just slightly but I wouldn't lie like that to myself. The variable, the... Twelve or so percent chance of things going... Awry, it made a small, malicious worm inside of me rejoice and fill my limbs with familiar adrenalised yearning. "You're not a monster. Far from it, actually," I used the hand that was not supporting me against the desk to gently cradle the side of his face, letting my fingertips brush over the rough five o'clock shadow on his cheek.

Bruce emitted a sound somewhere between an agitated grown and a pleading whine, sagging with the sound exhale, pressing himself flush with my chest. His face slipped from my palm, the warm tip of his nose running a steady line up my neck, sending goosebumps running wildly down my back as his hot breath tickled the arch of my throat.

"Baby," the nickname punched a stuttered gasp out of me with the intensity contained in just that one word. "I've been hearing all these amazing things about you," his voice dropped, low baritone rumbling straight into my ear. "I won't be able to hold back. I'll want you all to myself," his bicep flexed under my hand.

My knees would have bucked if I wasn't grasping onto Bruce for dear life after those words. I had some sense of personal pride in me, so while my body was an easy, traitorous thing, my mind was more than eager to participate in this game, to ping pong a little bit before... "Yeah? What things?" I breathed.

Teeth briefly closed around my tender skin, nipping for just a second. "You're kind, beautiful," his hand took a steadfast hold on the back of my neck, exposing my throat to his mouth. More skin to mark, more time to whisper. "Intelligent, bright and clever," the more he spoke, the fiercer he became. Bruce's grasp tightened until I was pliant in it, willingly following his silent commands. "A bit of a pain in the ass," a healthy dose of humour was added into the mix as my ass was roughly grabbed, our fronts pressed together at his insistence.

"That sounds about right," I didn't resist the sudden urge to snark, thoughts lazily floating in my head, like clouds on a bright sunny day, fleeting and sparse. None of them caught on. I was focused on feeling the need, on my need to feel.

A sharp smack landed on the plump of my ass, the sound resonating in the eerily quiet lab. The sounds of machinery had dulled at some point, leaving just the two of us panting our lust into each other's space. "I know you can be a good girl. Will you, princess?" His fingertips dug into my flesh, surpassing the soft sweatpants as if they weren't even there.

I could only nod, dumbly, overcome by the sudden rush of blood to my body. The life coarsing through me sang, demanding a release of the pent-up tension.

"What's that?" Bruce removed himself from my neck, catching my unfocused eyes with a crooked smirk on his lips.

"Yes," I swallowed, breathing through my mouth.

"Mmm," he hummed, running both hands over my sides, over the frayed edges of my Mötorhead top. He admired it, briefly, setting his eyes on the band logo that was right over my breasts. Having decided something to himself, Bruce promptly removed it, lifting it over my head with ease and leaving it right on the science lab table.

Taking hold of my hand, he walked over to a hidden set of sliding doors that revealed a rather large, frequently used bed, shutting them just as I walked in, wearing only my bra and borrowed sweats. My back was pressed to the door in mere seconds, hot palms chasing away the chill of the lab as Bruce slotted his lips over mine.

He tasted like something I've never had before. His lips - so plush and supple, took hold of the kiss with practiced gusto, sucking me in without a chance or the desire to escape. I drank from him, sucked on the bottom lip as his tongue explored my mouth, danced with mine.

The room was spinning, the ringing in my ears growing in volume. I was only partly aware of the sensation of sliding down the wall; our knees thudded on the carpeted floor simultaneously, heavy breathing the only noise I could distinguish.

"Breathe, baby, that's it," Bruce coaxed, gently stroking my nape. The soft cotton of his shirt crumpled under my fingers where I held onto him, desperately searching something to ground myself with.

The buckle of his belt clattered and then clinked again as he wrapped the worn leather around my wrists, bringing them together in front of my chest. I exhaled sharply at the intimate gesture, a whine bubbling up from my chest when Bruce used a single fingertip to raise my chin.

My eyes met his; a brown iris tinged with the faintest of green around the outer edge. "This okay, princess?" He sought my face for confirmation, for agreement, for anything.

I nodded, stuttering mid-gesture, remembering our previous interaction. My mouth did not want to cooperate but I forced it to, even if it came out as little more than a pitiful mewl. "Yes, daddy," the word, sweet and sticky like fruit syrup, poured from my lips.

My eyes slid shut as my conscience - or was it common sense? - took hold of the situation. I was on my knees in front of my best friends dad, a virtual stranger, and I'd just-

Bruce's soft chuckle stopped the negative spiral of my thoughts. "That's my girl," he sounded a tad more breathless now, a hairliner in his perfect façade of self-control. As if he'd sensed my indecisiveness, he tugged on the makeshift restraints, pulling me closer, closer and into his lap.

A warm, solid chest with a healthy amount of fluff greeted me. Bruce let my lax, pliant body fall into his arms, catching me effortlessly and bringing my face to his lips. "You have nothing to be ashamed of, you're my good girl," he peppered soft kisses all over my flaming cheeks, my twitching nose, my fluttering lashes.

"Please," I begged, shame giving way to the flood of arousal that seemingly hit me all at once. I was aware of the dampness collecting in my panties, the stiffness of my limbs from holding back the ravenous desire to paw at Bruce like a wild animal. "Please, daddy..."

"I know, I know, baby girl," he soothed, not stopping his tender assault on my face. "Daddy will make it all better. I know just what you need," Bruce finally pulled away. I heard the sound of him undoing his zipper and then the awkward shuffle of him shucking off his pants.

Somewhere in between of all that, he'd ended up sitting down on the bed, wearing only his boxers, his shirt hanging open. The red crawled down his chest, partially masked by the coarse salt and pepper hair; his lips were cherry red and his hair was sticking out in odd directions. Bruce looked sinful.

My eyes inadvertently landed on the impressive bulge in his boxers; in response to my widened eyes, he reached out for it, stroking the outline of his thick cock through his boxers. "Like what you see, baby?"

"Yeah," My mouth watered.

"Baby wants a fat cock?" He teased, sounding like he knew exactly what he was doing, testing my self-control like that. With a flick of his wrist, it sprang free, slapping against his tummy, coating the fine hairs with drops of clear, musky fluid.

I swallowed, feeling the taste of him from afar and yearning for more where I was parked between his spread legs.

In a gesture almost loving, he tugged on the belt still wrapped around my wrists, bringing my face to his leaking shaft and my hands to the base of it, letting me feel the weight of his balls in them. The cock throbbed, neglected, weighed down by the heaviness of his full balls.

"Go ahead, baby, suck my cock," the encouragement came with a gentle push to my head.

I obediently followed, wrapping my lips around the pink, moist crown of it, a hum beginning in the back of my throat. My God, Bruce tasted heavenly... I whirled and slipped my tongue a around his head, I dipped into the slit to drink the nectar right from the tap, idly coming to awareness of the broken, choked moans coming from the man above me.

Raising my head got me a view of his chin; head thrown back, the lax O of his mouth glistened in the meager light. My eyes slid lower, to the flex of his abs. Bruce fought hard to stay still. The desire consumed me, a sudden rush of power at having Dr. Bruce Banner's cock in my mouth and the man at my mercy; I inhaled, sliding my mouth further and further down his throbbing length.

"Fuck," I heard him mutter before his hands gripped the sides of my face. "Hungry, baby, are you?" His eyes glowed a faint green; I shuddered at the power he held within himself. Held back for me. "Tap my thigh twice," he spoke and I had no choice but to obey. "Okay. Do that if it gets too much, alright?" I nodded. He gave me a wide, beaming smile. "Good girl," he praised, experimentally bucking his hips into my mouth a few times.

In and out. I focused on my breathing, sharp, little inhales: his girth took up all the free space in my mouth, the tip of it barely fit into my throat. The burn, the stretch; I felt every tenth of an inch, every bulging attempt of my body to accommodate Bruce's huge cock. It was delicious, I couldn't help but crave the same stretch in my neglected, sopping wet pussy.

"Fuck, you're taking it so well," Bruce moaned wetly. "Your mouth... S'like heaven... Could fuck it all day, that's my good girl," the rambling increased in it's intensity as the pace of his hips hastened. Drool and tears flowed like a river; my chin was dropping with it, spit connected my face to his pelvis. "Oh," there was a brief pause to his movements; suddenly, he pulled out, fisting the base of his cock, staring me down with a ferocious gleem in his eye.

I must've looked a straight mess; my face like a crime scene, my clothes disheveled, covered in fluids and most of all - I was desperately grinding against my own feet, too focused on the glorious cock in front of me to notice the weakness of my own flesh. "Daddy?" I questioned, wincing at the grating of my own voice.

Without a word, the belt was tugged once more; in a set of movements just slightly north of acrobatic, I found myself laying on my back in the middle of the bed, my sweatpants suffering a haste demise in the corner of the room.

Bruce crawled atop me, leaving a trail of sloppy kisses on every inch of my skin he could reach, mouthing something inaudible into every pore of my body. As he drew closer, I discerned bitten-off phrases, stringing my desire into sticky, tangy mess at the apex of my thighs.

"My perfect baby girl," the words reached me; all tongue, he kissed me once more, arching into me as much as I arched into his hot grasp. A brief inspection of my face - he was satisfied with what he saw - and Bruce crawled back, settling in between my spread legs, breathing hot air on the lips of my sex still covered by a sopping wet piece of fabric.

"Oh fuck," I yelped, feeling him smooch it soundly, the hot wetness of his tongue penetrating the meagre lace barrier with ease.

He moved it aside anyway, with a single finger, giving my pussy a broad lick, moaning into my cunt like a man gone mad. It took a few more licks for him to feel sated enough to surface, all the while holding my hips down. I was so sensitive, I felt even the tiniest flicks to my clit, I was sure if I didn't cum then and there, I would explode.

"Such a pretty pussy, princess," his heavy breathing paused briefly. He nipped my thigh. "So wet, is that all for me?"

"Yes, yes, daddy," I rasped, pushing my cunt into his face, losing all shame and trepidation.

"So tasty," he continued the torture, outlining my lower lips before taking another nosedive right into it, swirling his tongue around every fold, sucking onto my clit.

Bruce ate my pussy until my thighs shook, until my core quivered and I could no longer hold back the choked, ragged screams starting somewhere in the low of my belly and coming out as unholy, all-consuming yowls filled with unadulterated lust.

"Louder for me, baby," he inhaled rapidly, and then, he sucked on my clit.

The world stopped, halted on it's axis, every muscle going rigid in my body and every nerve ending simultaneously coming alive. Faintly, I heard a chant, repeating two syllables over and over, it sounded like my voice - but I had no control over myself. All I could do was weakly grind my hips against Bruce's mouth, faltering when the crashing waves of my orgasm began to recede.

The infuriating overstimulation stopped; blinking hazily, I saw Bruce's eyes glimmer brown and green in front of my face. His nose and his chin was glistening with a thin coat of sticky fluid; disheveled and red, he looked a man on the verge of a revelation.

Something hot and blunt nosed at my cunt, bringing back the moment to me - I realized, with a great deal of impatience - how empty I felt. The decision was minute. "Daddy, fuck me, please, I want your cock," the words came easily.

"That's my girl," his eyes fluttered shut as the first inches squeezed through the snug of my cunt. I was sopping wet and as relaxed as I'd be, but even then, it was a stretch. "Good girl, good baby," the mumbled praise made me whine and my pussy clamp on his cock. "Relax, let daddy fill you up." Breathing through it, I consciously unwound myself around him, letting my palms rest freely on his shoulders. "Let daddy take care of you."

Like melted sugar, his husked words stuck to me inside and out. Short, sharp thrusts; Bruce was patiently burrowing himself inside of me, making his way to reach the deepest parts of me I didn't even know existed. His cock head pressed against something hard and spongy inside of me; stars burst behind my eyes I'd clamped shut on reflex.

I moaned weakly, tugging on his arm, pressing myself closer. It felt so, so good. Like a raw nerve had been exposed and he was stroking it, pushing that little switch with every stroke of his hips.

"I'm not gonna last," he muttered as once again, my cunt squeezed him snugly in place, just as greedy as I was to feel that tiny explosion spark up within me again.

"I want..." I panted. Bruce set in a punishing pace after that, a palm under my ass, squeezing it so hard there would definitely be bruising. I craved it, I needed to see the evidence this was not some elaborate fever dream. "I want... Daddy to fill me up," words came out garbled; it sounded like gibberish to my ears but Bruce - they spurred him on.

"Oh yeah?" That breathless, boyish cockiness was back in his voice again; despite how fucked out he sounded, I prepared myself for something truly out of this world. I just knew.

He sat back on his shins, dragging me by the hips with him, making me shiver and moan and twitch and clamp onto him again as his throbbing cock hit that special spot again. And again. And again.

"Look at me, baby," a hand on my belly and his eyes burning right through me. As they slid down, towards the apex of my thighs where he was still moving within me almost lazily, I saw it.

"Oh fuck," I couldn't utter much more than a two-syllabled profanity. There was a bulge in my belly, just above my pelvis, moving in rhythm with Bruce's hips. And then he pressed on it and I-

Something, someone, somewhere was screaming. The noise was loud and pitched, but even then, I could barely hear it though the neverending waves of bliss that enveloped my whole being. Gold and silver at the edges of my rapidly darkening vision; I was drowning in something that smelled and felt like Bruce. The safety of his arms, the warmth of his heated body, the rapid snapping of his hips-

Oh.

"I'm gonna, fuck," the last word was but a ghost of a human speech. Growling low and filthy, Bruce leaned into my ear, his breath hot and moist. "Mine," his hips stuttered, his cock nestled deep, the sensation bordering on painful, forcefully extracted pleasure. It throbbed with every spurt of his seed; each one felt like a solid punch in the gut to my abused pussy.

"Daddy," I mewled, my body jerking away from him but my mind and my soul yearning for more. His rapidly softening flesh made the idea of being separated unbearable.

"S'good, s'my good girl, m'so proud," he mumbled, looking slightly disoriented as he removed himself from me, immediately pressing me to his side and interwining any free, flailing limbs.

We laid in silence, each of us slowly coming back to Earth after the completely unreal experience we just had. I didn't know what to think, didn't know what to do as the realization set in, the post-orgasmic haze giving way to a sudden rush of clarity.

"I can hear you overthinking," Bruce's voice was fond.

Before I could muster up the courage to snark back, the divided doors opened, one very concerned Tony Stark standing there, armed with a tranquilizer gun in one hand and a pack of cookies in the other. His mouth, previously open to (probably) yell at us, remained as open when his eyes had registered the scene in front of him.

I stared at Bruce. Bruce stared at Tony.

"The noise," he offered in the way of explanation, dangling the pack of cookies, looking, for once - speechless. He recovered quickly, however, even if the remark was a thin ghost of his usual sass: "You pick the nerd over me? I'm hurt," he scoffed in mock irritation, although I was pretty sure I saw some satisfaction in there, too.

Bruce looked at me. I looked at Bruce.

A mischievous grin slowly crept up his face, an identical one beginning to appear on my own face seconds after.

"Hey, two nerds is better than one, right?" My response is what did it; or, rather, it was the evidence of my previous throat-fucking clearly audible in my voice... Tony dropped the cookies and then, the tranq gun.

Bruce Banner taglist: @pilloclock @mikariell95 @letsby @sleep-i-ness @toomanyrobins @persephonehemingway @mostly-marvel-musings @schemefrenzy @lillsxd @bluecrazedandbeautiful @slothspaghettiwrites @sapphicnoodle69 @couldntbedamned @xoxabs88xox @marvelsbanner @tripleyeeet @tatestripedsweater @stuckybarton

[chaos-monkeyy]

I am also a smut writer but lately I've been really down. I have gotten some comments, just people saying I must constantly have a dirty mind or that they could never think like that or write like that, or they imply that some of the kinks I've written are gross. Others have said I've given myself a reputation now. I don't want a reputation, I just want to be me. I think they are meant to be jokes but it's hurtful. I was wondering if you ever experienced the same thing and how you handled it. Thanks

Hi Anon, sorry for taking a little while to answer 💙 I've been quietly mulling this over in the back of my mind since you sent it, trying to think of something actually useful to say.

First off, I'm sorry the shitheads have got you down. I've been pretty lucky avoiding that nonsense for the most part, but I do know how fucking awful it feels to deal with that sort of thing.

One way I've found to handle it is to be... well, a little arrogant about it all. Yeah, I can write stuff or think things that a lot of other people "never could" because that's.. like... literally what a good writer's job is. (and anyone who thinks we're only capable of writing fictional things we actually want to see or happen for real is a fucking dipshit. but I digress.) Anyway, just because someone meant something like that negatively, doesn't mean they're actually right about it being a bad thing.

I also know for a fact some people think some of my kinks are gross, and.. I mean, that in itself is fair. I think a lot of other people's kinks are gross. One person's kink, another's squick, etc. The difference between being an asshole or not is whether they feel the need to tell you, when they could instead have just... Not... Interacted..... And the assholes can fuck right off. I know it still sucks at the time, and it's hard not to feel down about it, but they're seriously just not worth your time and energy.

As far as the reputation and the unfunny "jokes" go, I don't really have any good way to deal. People like to shove other people in boxes and label them and ignore what the actual person wants, and it's frustrating as hell. Depending how well you know and trust the people making those jokes and comments, it might work to just tell them it hurts to be kind of.. reduced and two-dimensioned like that. You are allowed to be you, and who "you" are in fandom spaces and as a writer is allowed to change over time, too.

I did find that it made a difference when I stopped and took a look at the side of my reputation I'd built for myself. Because for a long time I was the first one to go "oh ha ha I only write filth I can't do *real* story", so that was.. how other people saw me too.

So I did my damnedest to stop doing that, because fuck that.

Fuck the self-deprecating bullshit we're expected to do, as fandom creators generally and as smut and kink writers specifically.

PWP and filth for its own sake IS still a story and it IS still creative and imaginative. You put work into that. Writing smut and kink is not easy to do well. Be proud of what you write, whatever it is. Yeah, it's not gonna be for everyone, and that's how it should be. The world would be a boring fucking place if we all liked the exact same things, and anyone who's a dick to you because the stuff you write isn't perfectly suited to them?

Fuck 'em, they don't deserve your fic.

[i-willstealyourtoes]

had an idea last night, may be my last request for a while so I don't overwhelm you but I'll be online!

So maybe jacket, Jimmy, Houston and hoxton with a non-heister S/O who's super innocent, like doesn't get dirty jokes, so on, who also really likes soft fluffy stuff? Cuz like that's cute

Your writing is fantastic btw! Keep up the great work ♡

Hi! Tysm I really appreciate it <33 Also my requests are open now so u can send all your prompts :> Oh and I'm sorry that these might be shorter; I've been losing my momentum recently... 😭

Jacket, Jimmy, Houston + Hoxton with innocent/cute/civie s/o

Jacket

- I think he finds your innocence really refreshing, bc he's used to working with.... well the heisters

- They're not as innocent, as you are probably aware of

- But yeah, he kind of enjoys just having a cute and innocent s/o

- He's glad you haven't seen the horrors of the world

- But at the same time he feels bad bc

- What if he ruins it???

- Even if he isn't actually Jacket (as in, HLM/HLM 2 not being canon), he's still done a lot of... morally questionable things

- You're so nice and cute, he doesn't want to ruin your beautiful view on the world

- But at the same time... he's absolutely addicted to you

- Like everytime he hears you giggle, smile, or be cute... he can't get enough

- You know how people game because they need an escape? That's low-key him with you

- You're his comfort everything

- After a long day of hurting others, he just wants to see you

- Sometimes he'll just observe you

- Like... when your waiting at a park for your date, he'll just look at you for a little while before actually coming up to you

- It doesn't matter how silly goofy you are, he likes just seeing you interact with the world, in your cute clothing and your cute smile

- When he first met you, he thought your innocent demeanour was a facade

- BECAUSE HOW DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SEX JOKE SHSHBSHSNS

- 'Eh? What does... the eggplant emoji imply if not veggies?'

- Jacket just looks at you like 👁️👄👁️ 'how do you not know it means someone's DI-'

- (He did not say that)

- But still, he assumed you were just pretending to be that innocent

- Once he hung out with you more, he realized you really are just that dumb innocent

- I don't think he likes inviting you to the safehouse

- I mean, safehouse raids happen whenever so...

- Also he's scared the others might scare you or ruin your innocence

- He doesn't trust the others with you, especially alone

- WHAT IF THEY TELL YOU ABOUT THE SEX AAAAAAA-

- If you do ever hang out with the others, they always tease Jacket about it

- Especially Houston

- 'No offense, but why did you choose chicken little over there? He's so-OW JACKET WAIT OW-'

- No he did not kill Houston... I think

- Jacket feels that Houston's right, why him???

- He thinks of himself of like... 4/10

- You? To him, you break the scale 😊

- (In a good way, not in a 'you're worse than 0' way)

- You probably have to keep reassuring him that he's a 10 (or more) in your eyes

- (He thinks you're lying)

- (We're not Jacket, you're cool)

- Still, he can't help but smile when you're hugging him on the couch, telling him how much you love him

- The combo of hugging your cute form, along with your gorgeous voice...

- Those moments make him feel like he can't get any better

- Like... he's made it, he's made it to heaven

- He would, in a heartbeat, give up everything for your sweet soul

- All you have to do is go 'Please...?' and he'd probably gut a guy for you

- (He definitely would, don't ask him unless you actually want him to)

- He can't help but become a little fluffier with you

- The snuggles... get him every single time

- He just wants to pick you up and just-

- AAAAAAAAAAA HE LOVE YOUUUUU

Jimmy

- Bro... he... he love you so much

- Like... EEEEEEEEEE-

- Idk if I headcanon him as neurodivergent (idk if I even can, as a neurotypical person)

- BUT HE JUST-

- STIMMING EEEEE

- Whenever you snuggle with him or wear really cute fluffy clothes

- Flapping hands or something idk

- He... 🥺

- He's like 'bro my s/o is literally everything'

- Yes you are his new addiction moving on-

- He does call you his 'angel' most likely

- Most likely meaning you have a 90% chance-

- 'Hello angel.'

- CAN YOU HEAR HIM ACTUALLY SAYING THAT??? BC I DO

- OH and if he doesn't call you that??

- The other 10% he calls you something like 'sweetheart'

- NAH BO YOU MAKING ME SIMP FOR HIM NOW

- (For context, I did not really until this-)

- Always has his hands on you

- Not in a bad way??? Like he just always has an arm around you, or holds your hand or a hand on your thigh/waist

- No, it is not sexual (unless you show those intentions to him)

- I genuinely think that when he's really out of it, he actually thinks you're not real 😭

- Like he'll squint his eyes and all 💀

- Man's is like 'no way you're real, there's no way I must be trippin HARD'

- He will pinch you or feel your face to make sure you are in the physical form 💀

- It's either that or he asks you if you've seen his partner (you)

- Like wth????

- 'Hhhhey excuse- excuse me? H-have you seen a person about ehh.... yay-high-?'

- THEN HE GESTURES TO ABOUT A FOOT TALL GREMLIN WTH-

- It does not matter if you're crazy tall, he'll still do that

- '-they're like... SUUUUUPER cute... Like-like CRAZY amounts of cuteness. The kind of... AAWWWWWW A PUPPY cute, you know???'

- 'Babe, that's me-'

- 'WOAH I LITERALLY JUST TALKED ABOUT MY S/O HOW DARE YOU-'

- Bro he trippin-

- Please help him through these times okay he just took a little too much of the illicit pharmaceuticals

- When he snaps out of it, he has no embarrassment about it

- (Idk how, if I were him I would've dug my own grave after)

- OH RIGHT YEAH ABOUT YOUR LACK OF SEX JOKE KNOWLEDGE

- He does make sex jokes now and then, so he finds it kind of funny when you don't get them???

- Like 'haha your so stupid and cute I love you please marry me'

- (He has probably said this at one point in your relationship)

- Jimmy trying to explain 'adult jokes' to you is literally my source of comedy

- 'You see, it's funny because it looks like a PENI-'

- LMAO I AM CACKLING AT THIS-

- The idea of him explaining those kind of jokes while you're like '...?' to him so such a funny concept I love it

- 'What do you mean if it's rock hard you will be too? OH-'

- (Reference to this video)

- Anyways, he likes how cute and innocent you are, though unlike Jacket he'll probably have no issue telling you about funny innuendos-

Houston

- I think he didn't get it at first either????

- Like how... how do you not get the joke

- You're of legal age, HOW-

- He finds it kind of amusing though so he doesn't mind

- It's low-key his source of entertainment I'm ngl

- He's probably shown you funny sex jokes and asked you to explain

- 'Uh.... the eggplant emoji... is it like... a veggie joke?'

- Bruh.... what is with you and the eggplant smh

- Anyway, he finds it really funny and sort of cute???

- I think at first he found it a little annoying since he'd have to explain it?

- But now he just thinks it's comical

- As for you being cute???

- Bro.... he.... he loves you

- The cute fluffy vibes really got him

- I feel like he might prefer cuter s/os anyway?

- It's just.... the hugs omg

- He might act tough when you hug him

- BUT ON THE INSIDE HE IS... AAAAAA-

- The little smooches you give him

- Bro thinks he's blessed by the gods fr

- He does get a little red if you give him enough attention bc ofc he do

- 🍅 <- him rn

- Like he

- He...

- Girl (gender-neutral) I don't even know fr he's just down BAD

- Idk how to explain it... it's just he actually feels addicted to your existence

- The idea of him sitting down after successfully hitting a bank, with you snuggling into him

- Bros moved to tears at the thought (/jk)

- Also I feel like he'd brag about you

- AAAAAAALLLL THE TIME

- 'Yeah, you might have got more heads, but I'm the one with the angel here. So fuck you.'

- Bro just likes bragging oml

- ESPECIALLY with Hoxton because ofc he has to one up him all the time oml

- If he runs out of comebacks, he just picks you up and is like 'Well do you have this? No, you don't.'

- If you're up for it, he loves you more

- IF YOU BLOW RASPBERRIES AT HOX HOUSTON WILL FIND IT SO FUNNY LMAO

- 'Yeah, you tell it him babe.'

- If you'll allow it, he'd like to pick you up and help you with everything? He likes to feel like a big strong guy with his damsel/Prince so...

- If you don't like it, it'll take every fiber of his being not to help you so much

- He... he can't help it, he just wants to be there for you

- Maybe a little too much

- He loves you alot okay....

- If you're small too? He's gonna help you anyway whether you want his help or not

Hoxton

- EEEEEEE-

- Him when you're cute: :]

- He really likes to keep a hand on you like Jimmy?

- Hand on the waist or shoulder for him is a go to :>

- He will not hesitate to pick you up when you ask

- 'Alright, up we go-' or 'There, prince(ss).'

- He really enjoys doing this because he just.... it's just so fun okay-

- (Pick me up Hox I want to go uppys)

- Like Houston, he will probably also brag

- 'Hey wanker, look at this-' (then he just picks you up and kisses you, giving a middle finger to Houston)

- If you blow raspberries at Houston he will also gain +100 love for you

- Which is sort of impossible considering how he loves you infinity amounts already

- He LIVES for the cute fits you do bc like...

- Duh???? You slay???

- If you wear anything fluffy/with skirts he love you :>

- Wearing stuff like that gets you an extra chance at being picked up

- BC LOOK AT YOU

- VHHBSJSNSJSNSN-

- Anyway, he likes how innocent you are too bc????

- The fact you don't get some of these jokes are so funny to him

- Like... how do you not get them lmao

- 'Wait... so the eggplant emoji... isn't just indicating the vegetable???'

- (Nahhh not you with the eggplant omd)

- 'Ye-(is laughing) Yes babe, the eggplant emoji is not just a vegetable. What do you think it could be?'

- It doesn't matter if you understand it now, he'll still make fun of you for it

- Like he'll be shopping for groceries with you or something

- And if he finds an eggplant?

- 'Hey babe, what's this?'

- (Smh Hox stop the bullying)

- He really likes showing off all his achievements to you, knowing that you'll do the cute face (🥺/🤩)

- 'Yeah, then he took a shotgun to the face! The Dozer was fucked to begin with, anyway...choosing to fight me, of all people. What a dumbass cop....'

- Yes he likes to flex his muscles a little too okay

- If you marvel at them too? HSJSNSJAJJSHSHSHSJSJDJDJSJ-

- He... AAAAAAAAA-

- I think he has never loved anyone more than you

- Maybe money

- Okay maybe not money

- He thinks you're cuter :>

- I feel as if he would kind of... well not baby you, but definitely treat you like an deer that needs help 💀

- Like, if someone (probably Houston) broke their leg, he'd literally not care at all-

- 'Walk it off, bitch-boy.'

- If you bruised your leg? He's taking care of that first

- Both bc he knows you're a civ, but also bc he doesn't want his fluffy ball of sunshine to be hurt at all :'/

- 'Alright, you just sit here, I'll get something to treat that. HOUSTON MOVE OUT THE FUCKING WAY-'

- I swear, he's just here to love you, and hate Houston 😭