#this made me so fucking emotional
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part of my nimona viewing experience. idk why but i got super emotional in the first five minutes.
ID by @peachygos
[ID: A comic juxtaposing screenshots from Nimona 2023 and drawings of a person watching the movie. The first screenshot is Ambrosius's introduction; he grins at the camera as the news anchors introduce him, his name in big print on the screen. The person watching thinks with a bored expression, "Ah. Ok. This guy is gonna be the jackass. Typical golden-boy stuck-up prince that thinks he's better than the underdog. I see where this is going.
The next screenshot is of Ambrosius and Ballister on the platform above the arena, Ambrosius doing his news anchor bit and saying, "Aaand will Ballister be broody on the biggest day of his life?" Ballister laughs at his antics. The person watching now has a small smile, as they think, "Huh! Aw, they're actually nice to each other and are friends! I wasn't expecting that, that's nice-"
The third and final screenshot is a shot from behind of Ballister leaning his head on Ambrosius's shoulder. The caption reads "the knighting ceremony is just moments away." The person watching now has a touched, soft expression, like they're holding back tears. They think "OH." as a partially transparent doodle behind them bends over crying and blubbering, with another doodle showing their heart shot through with an arrow. /end ID]
#nimona#nimona movie#my art#i dont know WHY the relationship between these two made me so happy. genuinely. but i was tearing up when they held hands#idk man. just- the feeling of 'ah. friendship between these two men like always. i see-' and then#'OH. oh god theyre in love. that so sweet. i wasnt expecting that what the fuck.'#im not an outwardly emotional person
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had an identity crisis, prime time for a slight sona redesign!
it's cow! (again!)
+ a closeup because i'm really proud of the eyes
#i felt really extremely disconnected from cow and was like welp. time to make new fursonas#and made like four drafts before drawing cow with short hair and going 'oh.'#i ...... just need a hair cut. so i gave my fursona a haircut while i'm waiting to go#fucking. SADGE that im redesigning it so soon after its last ref but#shrugs#i do not control the heightened emotions about fursona and what it means to me#also there's a lot of experiments in this piece!! new brushes new coloring techniques new style of ref#loooots and lots of alts over on my ponytreon#my art#furry#fursona#anthro#oc#cow#cattle#oc: cow#bovine#ref#ref sheet#reference#i tried like...7 other palettes before just taking the old one and tweaking it and now i rllllllllly like it :03#i just needed less pastels/contrast and more soft/desaturated tones...who woulda thunk#(it's everyone. everyone wouldve thunk. i <3 desaturated tan tones)
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tarpit site.
#personal#delete later#for context a tweet i made in the middle of the night blew the fuck up and brought the attention of anime fans who've been#harassing and hassling me about my big factual blunder for an entire day straight#“ok i'll apologize” “bro it's not that serious.”#“you're right it's not that serious“ ”why won't you just admit that you're wrong and apologize!“#i'm not going crazy right. i feel like i'm getting manipulated into thinking i must've been wrong#it's crazy how twitter hate will trick you into believing saying something someone else disagrees with is a moral failing#sorry i haven't seen frieren i guess but what's it to you. i wasn't making a claim or statement#also because nobody has gotten this in the original post i wasn't talking about the quality of animation i'm talking about solid drawing#which is a very specific principle of animation. dandandan has really good solid drawing wherein all the characters are animated#with realistic and proportional 3d depth. newsflash but trigger doesn't prioritize solid drawing in their animation and that's fine#it's an aesthetic choice and has ties to production limits. none of this is a big deal. this is all so stupid lol#i've dealt with worse and more annoying weebs though it's fine i'll put on my clown nose twitter needs their stupid guy for the day#oh btw at the end of the day this doesn't matter. it'll be over by tomorrow. all that's happening is petty angry emotions.#so please don't involve yourself by jumping into the argument and prolonging this shit#i'm about to go on a date with tulli after being apart for a month this is the furtherest thing from my mind rn
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reunion 🌸
#persona 3#persona 3 spoilers#minato arisato#makoto yuki#ryoji mochizuki#aigis#ryomina#lizzy does art#HELLO EVERYONE!!! march 5th is upon us again so i bring... my contribution for this year. my third year drawing for it!#i made the thumbnail for this a few weeks after last year's graduation day#i thought it would be fun to lean into the ryominaigis angle of graduation day (you could read this as minato/aigis if you like-#but i feel like most people would read it as ryoji/minato)#IN ANY CASE working on this made me very emotional over this game :') (specifically minato)#i really enjoy how p3 ends it's such a nice way of wrapping up the narrative's messages and themes#working on this. minato's kindness was at the forefront of my mind throughout the piece#and i really wanted to capture how. ultimately it was his decision to sacrifice himself- to do the great seal#while to an outsider's perspective it is. sad that minato passes. i think becoming the seal is something that minato-#actively welcomes. in the same way that death (ryoji) is a comfort to him because death was housed in him for Ten YearsTM#AND I ALSO GOT REALLY SAD OVER AIGIS TOO. i still get fucked up over how in fes's animated cutscene for 3/5 they portray-#her as human and not drawing the robot parts so i wanted to do something smilar here...#but also i am very sad on aigis's behalf because she discovers her humanity through minato and realizes what she-#wants to do and then. well. minato is like. he's ready to pass on (even if he's scared) and im like. OH MY GOD THIS TRIO GETS ME MESSED UP#this was more coherent in my head LOL BUT ough i like drawing p3 and working through my feelings about it...#anyway! happy (in quotations) march 5th. i love this game to bits. it's so fun to draw for this day every year and see how i've improved#if you've read all this thank you :) lizzy appreciates you all very much. mwah! <3
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NO MORE ASSOCIATING THINGS WITH FEMMES ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PINK!HYPERFEM FEMMES ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU CAMPY FEMMES WHO EMBODY PINK BUT ALSO JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU GUYS NOT GO MORE THAN ONE DAY W/O TRYING TO SHOEHORN FEMMES INTO BEING ONLY PINK UWU BABIES. I AM FEMME AS IN GRASS AS IN DIRT AS IN TREE BARK AS IN WEEDS SPROUTING THROUGH THE SIDEWALK CEMENT. FEMME AS IN GENDER NONCONFORMITY AS IN FUCK YOU MY FEMININITY IS WHAT *I* SAY IT IS. FEMME AS IN DEPTH AND DARKNESS AND WARMTH AND TERROR. FEMME AS IN CAVES. FEMME AS IN LIGHTNING. FEMME AS IN AN AMALGAMATION OF TRAITS THAT I HAVE DECIDED ARE FEMININE REGARDLESS OF WHAT SOCIETY SAYS. FUCK IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!???
#personal#i am emotional yes#over the years ive had this blog I've made a few posts abt being femme#nd whether they're serious or jokey..... inevitably someone in the tags goes “ohhh yeah bc pink”#or in the case of what inspired this post: someone going “what about the pink ones” on my praying mantis post#and im just.#sick of it. im sick of femme being equated to pink and frilly girlie behaviors.#im sick of femme being equated to skirts and heels. to makeup. to skincare. to pristine nails exactly almond shaped.#im sick of ppl acting like All femmes aspire to this shit. im sick of femms being reduced to this shit.#and i love pink! i love pink! my phone theme is quite literally just black and pink all over.#im just. so tired of any expression of Femme identity being shoehorned into being a Specific type of femininity#especially as someone who DOES get dysphoric wearing skirts. wearing dresses. embodying the femme aesthetic yall are so set on making#if u guys wanna rb this i truly dont care#i just needed to scream#and this is one small thing#but the 2nd largest category of anon hate i have gotten since making this blog is str8 up homophobia from other “queer” folks#saying i cant be femme bc of how i present. calling me slurs (and using them as such) bc they cant understand femme as anything but that#my wife and i have our users in our personal discord server set as 2 different things of anon hate ive gotten#i have had OTHER FEMMES tell me i am not femme. femmes who Know im femme who still call me butch. femmes who ive corrected and been blocked#-by bc of it. the number 1 largest demographic of queerfolk who have me blocked rn is TME femmes who embody pink also#and i dont think its a coincidence at all. (and i know this bc i go to try and follow these ppl bc they get rbed on my dash & i cant)#and ik their blogs arent deleted bc some of them don't block my wife (tall. white. butch) and it cant be politics cause her and i rb#a lot of the same political shit (fuck. i think she rbs More than i do even. this is genuinely mainly a nsft blog)#and usually i don't say anything but im having a bad day so i get to be angry about this and if anyone fucking tries me i will block u#idc if we've been mutuals 4ever. im judt so tired of feeling like i am not Enough as a femme bc i dont embody this shit#im sick of this lameass lip service to he/him gnc femmes etc when the thin white 50s housewife femme is still what is preferred and loved#im sick of this lamesss lip service when y'all feel entitled to theorizing on other femmes genders bc u cant conceptualize a femme who does#wanna be hypetfeminine. im sick of it. im sick of it. im sick of it.#celebrity bun
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Ok but you know how Jorge said the lines “ruthlessness is mercy” & “maybe we can learn to forgive” are sung with the same melody?
As I was falling asleep last night, I realized that the melody for “I can’t help but wonder” is sung in the same tune & cadence as “what if I’m the monster”
#I AM NOT OK#this saga made me so fucking ill#i can’t handle so many emotions#i was full on sobbing#ithica saga spoilers#ithica saga#epic the ithaca saga#epic#epic musical#epic the musical#odysseus#telemachus#poseidon#jorge rivera herrans
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I thought I was done talking about Style in THK's episode 2, but jokes on me, no I'm not.
I keep thinking about Style and Bison's first interaction and how pure and sweet it was. In the middle of the mess that is this 4-way whirlwind of lies and deception, it felt like a refreshingly honest conversation between two people who are only accidentally lying to each other.
Style seems incredibly earnest when he tells Bison that Kant is "down bad" for him. It doesn't feel like Style is 'wingmanning' Kant here; or if he is, it isn't meant to be malicious or to mislead Bison. It feels like someone being friendly with his bff's crush and hoping that they can get along because he thinks this one's going to stick around.
Similarly, when Bison tells Style to go for Fadel for real, it feels very honest and earnest. Setting aside whatever games Bison is playing with Kant, Bison seems to genuinely want someone for his big brother, and not just so he can date who he wants or as a distraction.
It's also interesting how Style's protest is that he can't see himself actually gaining feelings for Fadel because in a way there's nothing to recommend Fadel to Style at this point. As far as Style is concerned, Fadel is arrogant and condescending, rude and ungrateful (after all, he did replace a bunch of parts in Fadel's car for free), a stick in the mud about his brother dating, and can't seem to take a joke.
We see the polite, pleasant and reasonable Fadel, but Style doesn't.
Which is why I've been obsessing over Style's expressions immediately after the conversation with Bison. Bison's parting insight is "He's rough on the outside, and on the inside," and I think he accidentally piqued Style's curiosity with that line. Because why does Bison still want his brother to have a "real" relationship, then? What makes Fadel worth loving, despite (what Style thinks is) nothing to recommend him?
Ugh I wish I knew how to make gifs because BLESS @airenyah FOR MAKING THESE GIFS!!! Dunk goes through a whole sequence of expressions here that suggests a shift happens in the way he's thinking of Fadel. There's a pensive and thoughtful look and then almost like, "Oh what the hell, might as well see where this goes" kind of amusement at the end. And I think the reason he has this shift is because he's realised that Bison clearly loves his brother and that must mean that there's more to Fadel then his initial impression of the man.
It's interesting that his next attempt at messing with Fadel actually invites Fadel to play along with it. It's so much tamer and more private than the previous attempts because he isn't actively trying to humiliate Fadel this time. And it works?? Fadel engages in the roleplay, indulges Style's ridiculousness, actually chops faster (whilst the most hysterical series of minute expressions play over Fadel's face <3). Perhaps this was Style testing the waters: can Fadel engage with something playful and not take everything way too seriously? Huh, turns out, he can!
The next time Style shows up around Fadel, he's circled back to that playful over-the-top flirting that characterised the garage scene. This is the first time in this episode that Style is actually flirting. Every other time was just to frustrate/humiliate Fadel but notice how he's actively trying to look attractive to Fadel now? He's putting all his best (ahem) assets on display, and poor Fadel has no real protection against this. And, oh, Style is loving this! He's gleefully lapping up every single time Fadel fails to completely hide that he's affected by him.
This, though. THIS precisely is the point I think Style decides that he really does want Fadel for himself. There's so much playing out over Style's face: the determination to push things further, the delighted surprise to see Fadel so rattled, the razor sharp focus, and then desire. Style has finally broken through Fadel's "roughness" and he loves it.
If that uncle hadn't walked in, I'm convinced Fadel would have let Style do anything he wanted, and I think Style knew that.
It's the first time Style immediately chases after Fadel when he walks away from him, and he's absolutely delighted when Fadel all but chokes him against the lockers because that means he still has Fadel within reach.
The whole conversation about "love at first sight" is breathtaking because it feels like Style is discovering what's going to make Fadel crack as he says it and realising just how much he wants this. And no, I don't think he's in love with Fadel yet (not by a LONG shot), but I think he realises that he wants Fadel to fall in love with him. This is such a shift from what he expressed in the diner to Bison. In the diner, there was no hope, no chance for this.
The kisses catch Style by surprise too: you can see that he's just reacting, pushing to see where Fadel will finally draw the line. Because Fadel kisses back in the first kiss and actually fails to push Style away for quite some time in the 2nd kiss (the camera purposely lingers on the way Fadel's hands hover over Style's waist without shoving him back). The third kiss is the point Fadel finally starts fighting, and in the immidate aftermath you can see Style watching so carefully again. And Fadel nearly kisses him again, you see the way Fadel's eyes drop to Style's lips, the way they both freeze and linger in the moment for that one second. The way Style registers that moment and it leaves Style shaken himself.
It's so interesting that this is how we leave Style in this episode (we only see Fadel's fantasy version of Style after this point). I've got two possible interpretations for this line:
Style possibly catches on that Fadel is more dangerous than he seems. Maybe just from vibes, maybe from something in the way Fadel threatened him that kicks off some kind of fearful instinct. This could be what makes Style start questioning if Kant told him the full story and lead to whatever scene it is where Style demands answers in the episode 3 preview.
Alternatively, perhaps Fadel is starting to become real to Style in ways he wasn't before. Fadel was almost a caricature of a man, one which Style didn't like very much before, and that made it easier to fool around with him. But this? This almost tortured man who clearly wants Style but can't seem to give into that desire? Something is going on and Style isn't sure it's worth the game to either of them anymore. Because maybe Style recognises that he's more affected than he should be. And that has implications that Style was not ready for.
#this is also secretly an appreciation post for Dunk's fucking stellar acting in this episode because taking all these screenshots really#made me aware of how quickly Style shifts through expressions but also how CLEAR they are??#Style is SO expressive - and not just in his eyes or lips; but the way he moves and tilts his head and body#and then there's the use of tone and inflection; the way Dunk DELIVERS his lines that communicates what Style is thinking/feeling too#there's SO MUCH going on in every single scene it makes my brain whirl when I try to parse it#and tbh I already noticed Dunk doing this in SIMM - esp in regard to using his VOICE to convey emotions the way#Dao had a lot of hurt and anger that would bleed through in crucial moments and Dunk was already very good at that#but I'm really loving how much of that is evident because Style is a much more expressive character with very high energy/intensity#and it allows Dunk to really flex and show that skill off <3#the heart killers#the heart killers the series#style sattawat#fadel#fadelstyle#dunk natachai#joong archen#joongdunk#thk meta#style meta#hui talks thk#hui talks thai bl#thk ep 2
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I’ve discovered my favorite genre of Bagginshield art is where Thorin is a lovesick idiot who is Losing It and Bilbo is unbothered or oblivious to Thorin’s suffering LMAO
#thorin oakenshield#bilbo baggins#bagginshield#if anyone has more please send it to me I have like four rn#I know I made a post a while back talking about how I wish there were more posts that focused on each of their lives outside of each other#and I still stand by that but I also can’t deny the fun in a Important Dwarf like Thorin turning into an idiot around Bilbo#tbh this works even platonically. this guy has friends bc he’s lucky not bc he’s actually friendly#so I can imagine becoming friends with Bilbo is like ‘fuck now I have to be nice bc he WILL actually leave. uh. oh god’#love men who are grouchy and offputting <3#and Bilbo is oblivious not as a flaw but bc he’s just not wired that way and he’s just accepting that Thorin is weird#bc he has no basis of which to assume he isn’t just Like That sometimes same way the dwarves don’t know shit abt hobbits#and it’s not as like. Bilbo being extremely innocent either he’s just not thinking about it LMAO#and Bilbo Also doesn’t have a ton of friends (different reasons but he IS also grouchy and petty) and he’s just ‘?? ok’#they’re both fucking stupid and everyone around them is dying and in anguish#I particularly enjoy when a character who is emotionally constipated and stoic and whatever just starts losing it#not even necessarily in a sappy or angsty way just. those emotions gotta come out eventually#so for a guy like Thorin who takes himself seriously and is very closed off emotionally it’s fun to just imagine that facade cracking#meanwhile Bilbo is just like ‘you ok??’#Bilbo himself has some emotional issues so it’s double the entertainment
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Lumini angst? Anyone want some lumini angst? (Lyrics are from "Paper Doll" by Flower Face)
#xero creations#these lyrics fucked me so bad when i Processed them and for a while i was trying to click it into place as lunar and eclipse#BUT THEN IT HIT ME. and i got so emotional i made this in like 30 minutes flat......#flower face never fails to make songs that make me want to gnaw my arms off /pos#lunar and earth show#the lunar and earth show#tlaes#laes#lumini#gemini x lunar#lunar x gemini#angst
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the weight of family and the pull of gravity
#those are song lyrics listen im running out of dramatic one liners to use as captions HGFJKD#i like the DRAMA!! the DEVASTATION!!!! if it doesnt feel fitting to the emotional weight i feel then i will DISINTEGRATE ON THE SPOT#the pic looks more saturated as i post it than it does in photoshop so hmmmgh not sure how the balance will be? c'est la vie it's j for me#u can rip those fuckign birds from my cold dead hands. i wont give them up. sleepie made fun of me for my bird motifs BUT I LIKE THEM#I NEEDED THEM FOR THE COMP IT GGRGAGAHAHHH#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#silver vanrouge#twst spoilers#ch 7 spoilers#oh yea i wanna make an animatic to that song once ch7 is done. maybe.. i fucking HATE making animatics but its SOOOOO SILVER#blame lettie its her fault#suntails
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LQG: Shit I didn't mean to say that out loud.
[ID: A Scum Villain Comic. First image depicts Shen Yuan in an outfit reminiscent of BOTW!Zelda's goddess outfit except with sleeves that fall down the shoulder. He grips one of his arms and looks down to the side as if uncomfortable, saying "I don't know... I feel like I look stupid." The next image depicts Liu Qingge in BOTW!Link's champion outfit. He looks on with a loving expression/smile and says "You look...Wonderful." The last image has both characters in chibi style. SY now looks up to LQG with an amazed expression, his face and body now flushed. LQG on the other hand, looks away with a very flushed face and sweating, his fists clenched with an spiky thought bubble that simply says "FUCK" End ID]
#svsss#scum villain#shen yuan#liu qingge#liushen#botw!svsss au#was this au partially made so i could draw sy in a goddess outfit? maybe so <3#SY internally: omg the hero just called me wonderful he actually does seem to like me as a person???#LQG internally: fuck fuck fuck bottle up your emotions you cant let the prince know that you YEARN#meanwhile LBH chugging vinegar: if I saw his highness like that I would have called him gorgeous beautiful the most captivating person-#mxtx#myart#svsss au
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I cannot even begin to explain the cognitive dissonance of having grown up hearing of how my family survived the holocaust, of how life is sacred above all else and any other commandment… and then watching Israel invoke both religion and the Shoa while committing such violence and invoking the very same stuff that makes me think there's little worse?
Join protests, donate, try to make sure things can't be swept under the rug. I don't know what we can do to actually stop the genocide, but we also can't stop trying?
Donate to MAP - Medical Aid for Palestine
Or if you want a direct way to help a family, my friend Ahmed has a GFM as he's trying to afford food and winter supplies for his family. There is barely any food to be found, and if there is it's expensive, and his brother needs a waterproof tent
#idk I suck at serious art like this it feels like not enough#both to make a difference and to convey my emotions#but I'm sick to my stomach watching people try to use what I think made me believe in justive and humanity#and invoke it to try and reenact nazi Germany but maybe even worse#or watching those fucking politicans try to use me and my people to shut down any attempt to protest#shut up man... maybe we aren't part of a specific community or synagogue but I have seen HUNDREDS of Jews march and protest#don't let them think all jews are zionist#my art#palestine#i think all specific memories I can point to that influenced me#either came from a rabbi or one of my grandfathers#so even if I'm not very religious i do think my religion and culture informs how I feel and think the world should be?
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you know, i think the reason people fall into the 'kant doesn't care about bison at all, none of what he's doing or saying is real' thing so easily is because he's so good at compartmentalising. it's one of the most consistent parts of his character. we get shown in damn near every single scene he's in: kant constantly sets his own feelings/opinions/wants aside in favour of getting done whatever it is he needs to get done. and if you aren't paying attention it gives off the impression that he doesn't care, but that isn't the truth at all.
i know i talk about kant's role as a big brother a lot, but i genuinely believe that's where it stems from. from the moment his parents died, he had to tuck his own grief away in favour of tending to babe's needs, both emotional and physical. and in ep 6 babe refers to kant as the one who raised him, so babe really must have been quite young when their parents passed - young enough that kant is the one he considers to have raised him, not them. and i know i already talked about it in this post but it's worth reiterating that that wouldn't have come without sacrifice for kant. from context clues it seems as though he went from a student just like any other to basically a single father to a young, grieving child overnight. and kant loves babe. he clearly prioritises his wellbeing - in every sense - above his own. and that means kant's own feelings and wants and desires and even his needs getting thrown aside over and over and over again in favour of babe's. this is a pattern that must have gone on for years atp. kant probably no longer knows any other way to be: he always becomes what other people need him to be. who he is and how he feels get smothered in favour of that every time. and please understand that him doing that isn't an act of manipulation, but likely started as him adapting to the circumstances he found himself in as a teenager and became so ingrained in who he is that he doesn't even realise he's doing it anymore. (besides you can see when kant is manipulating someone. it's completely different. he's not great at it.)
because i mean really, do you honestly think kant was never scared going out stealing cars? do you think he wasn't petrified when he was caught? do you think he never wished for something else for his brother, for himself? do you think he never walked through the streets at night looking for cars to steal, wishing he could just go home? wanting his mum and dad? wanting to someone to take care of him for once?
of course he did. of course he was scared. of course he was upset. he's not a sociopath, nor is he some kind of professional criminal. he's just a guy who's been doing whatever he has to to get by, and sometimes that meant doing bad things, but he still has feelings and wants and wishes beyond that.
but the thing is, as it always has been, is that above kant's wants or needs or feelings sits babe. babe's wants and needs and feelings. his wishes. his dreams. and so kant pushes his own feelings to the side so that he could do what he needed to do - first out of necessity, then because he had no choice. but that doesn't mean those feelings aren't still there. it doesn't mean he doesn't still feel them.
but what place is there for kant's feelings? what use are they? babe needs feeding. he needs education. he needs school uniforms and books and new shoes. he needs someone there, on the outside. kant is of no use to babe in a prison cell. so what good does kant's fear do? where do his desire and his wants and his feelings get him? nowhere. dreams don't put food on the table. so he tucks them away, time and time again. he's scared, but he gets on with it because there's no other option. he wants, but he has babe to think about, so what use is it wanting anything? wanting to go somewhere, to do something, to be with someone - what's the point when he can't have any of it. he has a child to take care of, and that child's needs must always come first. that's the sacrifice any good parental figure must always make. so that's what kant has done. he's spent half of his life pushing his feelings away in favour of making sure babe is good.
why, then, would love be any different?
style can love fadel. he can want him, and he can voice it, and he can show it, because style doesn't have to think about anyone other than himself. there's no one relying on him, not the way babe relies on kant. and so if he acts stupid and reckless and falls in love with an assassin, the consequences of that will be his and his alone to deal with.
kant doesn't have that luxury - the luxury of loving bison. he never has. he has babe to think about. and on top of that, kant can't allow himself to want anything because to him, wanting is useless. it's pointless. he never gets to have what he wants. and he especially can't allow himself to want bison, not when bison is literally his get out of jail free card. kant can't go to prison because he has to look after babe. and it's the same pattern all over again: babe comes first. what kant actually wants doesn't matter.
so he locks it away. he compartmentalises it. we've seen it over and over and over: he gets angry at christ and he swallows it because he can't afford to made him mad. he gets scared and he grits his teeth and smiles. he starts to feel something real for bison, starts to see him as something other than his ticket to freedom, and in the next breath he's reminding himself (or style) that he can't. that they just need to get the job done, asap. if the captain just arrests them, then it'll be over and kant will be free and he can tuck those feelings and those wants back in their fucking boxes and he can move on. over and over and over you see him trying to convince himself of that, because that's probably what has worked before: just one more car, just one more job, just one more time.
but the problem is it's not that simple. being in such close proximity to bison and pretending to love him has shaken the walls he's put up around himself, and they've started to crumble from the foundation up. the feelings that were supposed to be fake, that were supposed to be kept on the outside of the wall have started leaking in to where the real kant is. his walls haven't fallen down, not yet, but they've been breached. and now he's knee deep in these feelings that he shouldn't be having. now, no matter how hard he tries to resist it, he wants.
i think that's what makes the scene in the bowling alley so heartbreaking for me. when i saw the preview i thought that kant was doing it for bison's benefit, to make sure he has one last good night before he's locked away. which he definitely was. but i also think for the first time in the whole show we really get to see kant - no games, no agendas, no angles. even their first meeting wasn't entirely innocent like that - kant was putting on a persona to get bison into bed. but in that bowling alley, when they're all alone and no one's looking and there's a very real chance they'll never see each other again, kant just lets himself be. he lets bison see him, even the ugly parts, the parts that have him breaking into places and cutting off the cctv and stealing from the drinks fridge. because bison told him, didn't he? that he loves every story on his body, even the fucked up ones? so in that bowling alley kant is no longer trying to be some perfect version of himself, the one with no history or flaws, the one trying so desperately to win bison over. he's not trying to be christ's informant. he's not even trying to be babe's big brother for once. he lets himself just be kant.
kant, who wants to be alone with bison in the place where they first met. kant, who laughs so hard his body can't even hold him up. kant, who sets up a fucking projector to project the northern lights all over the walls because he saw the pictures on bison's wall and knew how much he loved them. bison never told him that. but kant is thoughtful, and kant pays attention, and kant is romantic, and none of it is an act. all of it is him, loving bison despite himself. wanting him to be happy. wanting to give and give and give because that's how kant loves: by giving until there's nothing left of him. by putting himself second and the person he loves first. it's what he did for babe, isn't it?
and it's the real kant who, for just a moment, lets himself be reckless and stupid like style gets to be, like kant never gets to be, when he looks down at bison's face and says should we just get in the car and run? and means it. he poses it like a joke, but he means it. he wants it. and it's the real kant who sits in the middle of a bowling lane and plans a trip with bison, who lets himself truly want something for the first time since he was a child, probably: 15 days, kant will drive, bison will run the playlist. they'll see the northern lights and the puffins and the waterfalls. and maybe it's the freedom of knowing he'll never get to have it that makes it so much easier to allow himself to want it, but isn't that so much worse? knowing the only way he's allowed to want anything is if there's guardrails up, keeping him in line? stopping him from making the mistake of actually thinking he ever gets to have what he wants?
none of that scene was an act. none of it. in fact imo the only person he actually puts a front up with in ep 6 was style, trying to convince him to just let them go. that it doesn't matter. bc that was all bullshit and he knew it. and you can think what you want about kant's actions and his feelings up until now, but if after watching episode 6 you still genuinely don't see that kant is head over heels for bison, then you're either not paying close enough attention, or you've let your bias/dislike of his character cloud your ability to be objective about what you're seeing, and i mean that. he is so obvious.
just because kant isn't expressing his conflict or his discomfort or his feelings the way style is doesn't mean he doesn't feel any of it. he does. his words are lies. we've already established that about him. but his conflict and his love are written all over him, all over his face, all over in his actions. the love he feels for bison is delicate and it's fragile but it's undeniably there. and if you don't see that then i genuinely feel sorry for you because you're not only missing out on half the plot, but you're also missing out on something so genuinely beautiful it makes my bones ache.
#the heart killers#kantbison#thk meta#that tweet abt kant wanting to get in bison's pants pissed me off so fucking bad like#respectfully some of you are getting your ass beat by the unreliable narrator of it all and that's a bit embarrassing#also yes i realise this is basically just a remix of the other post i made about kant#but i will KEEP making this post for as long as people keep mischaracterising him#which may just be forever i fear. bc if emotions aren't being spoon fed to the audience then they just don't exist at all apparently
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Hate /heɪt/ verb -> Enduring anger focused on a particular person or group of persons. Over time hatred may generate the personality trait of hostility. Surprise /sɚˈpraɪz/ noun -> The briefest emotion, surprise is triggered by the sudden occurrence of an unexpected event. It is often a way station that leads, after more appraisal, to any of the other emotions. Fondness /ˈfɑnd·nəs/ noun -> A liking. Guilt /ɡɪlt/ noun -> Regret about a past action [...], a feeling of worry or unhappiness that you have because you have done something wrong, such as causing harm to another person.
Atlas of emotions + Cambridge dictionary
4MINUTES (2024) EP. 6
#4 minutes#4 minutes the series#greattyme#thaidrama#uservix#userrlaura#raeblr#userbon#mjtag#rinblr#esmetracks#userrlana#tusersilence#vishingwell#userspring#dramasource#dailyasiandramas#fyeahthaidramas#tansgifs#gifs:fourm#the amount of fucking emotions tyme goes through in the spam of one goddamn night is insane like this isn't even all of it#again masterfull acting from jes because even lil ol stupid me can see all of this#like the way they showed all of this in a few scenes is fcking crazy man#wish people made metas about tyme's emotions in ep 6-7-8 because truly it's just so well written and acted#instead you guys get a 22 gifs gifset from me that's all I know how to do#also take that emotion website with a grain of salt. like it's fun to apply to blorbos#and to get a first level of understanding emotions and putting words on what you are feeling when you have no words at all#like it's better than nothing but it's not the bible some people seems to think it is#jes i'm sueing your babygirl eyes for emotional damage
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@stanuary 2024 week one: Lost
Boy howdy! Another year, another butt load of angst for me to draw!
I have had "In this Shirt" by The Irrepressibles for a healthy amount this week, especially considering that I have been in a very emotional mood bc the place I used to work with closed
So I got very emotional and considering how good this song is, I had to draw the most intense moment in the show with the most intense moment in the song, making a short lyric comic.
#gravity falls#Stanuary#gravity falls fanart#stanley pines#stanford pines#dipper pines#mabel pines#if you haven't already#go listen to that song#it made me feel so good damn emotional#especially with that twin peaks edit of Gabrilo princip about to shoot the king and all the photos of WW1 onward behind him#fuck#it makes an historian like me feel weak in my teeny tiny bones
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Madoka is the promise you won't turn from a child, full of hopes and dreams and the wish to save the world, into a bitter adult who just wants to hurt others and ruin people's lives
Madoka promised to be there for you to remind you of the person you wanted to be and to stop you from becoming what you sought to destroy
Madoka made that promise and became the very embodiment of it
#Moon posting#Feeling emotional about Madoka Magica all out of the blue and I'm making it your problem#IDK I saw a video in my YT reccs ranking Doremi toys and I really enjoyed it (sadly can't remember who it was)#So I went to check what other content the person had made and they had recently-ish done a blind reaction to Madoka#Didn't watch the whole thing just The Good Shit at like double speed (it was completely uncut and I wasn't in the mood for a full rewatch)#And god. The way the fucking ending to this series still makes me fucking sob like a baby EVEN WHEN WATCHING AT DOUBLE SPEED#I dunno what to tell you I really like that series. Like I just do. Madoka is Good Actually#IDK I feel like everyone has a lot of Opinions about the series and all I can say is that y'all are wrong and don't understand it#MADOKA ISN'T ABOUT BEING EDGY GRIMDARK TORTURE PORN!!! IT'S ABOUT HOPE!! AND DREAMS!! AND NOT GIVING UP!!#Y'all remember that post about how sometimes if you need to imagine Naruto encouraging you to help you get out of bed and brush your teeth#Then you imagine that dattebayo#And that is literally what Madoka is.#Except instead of self-care Madoka is there to stop you from being a toxic little dickweed and be nice to others#Sometimes you need to stop and ask: Would Madoka do that? Would Madoka say that? Would she be proud of me right now?#Don't ask me why I'm posting this it is 5 am I should be in bed man
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