#this isn’t even funny fml

[tranceinnumerabletabs]

When Johnny Comes Back pt13

I'd like to mention some of these 'titles' were from AO3 and I'm sorry for how some of these sound. I know a lot of these were truly bonkers and some were character-specific. Y'all better like them they're legit funny at times AND have plausible deniability. Also, just like...2 hours after posting part 12, I REACHED 100 REBLOGS!! LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Sorry it took so long! I guess I hit a writer's block.

tags: @supermegabitchboyexceptimagirl, and @beelzebee

part1, part12

“Poison Breaker. Affirmative Sir. Operation: Deep Infiltration. Whispers of the Damned.”

Huh…those sound familiar?

“Undercover assets. Trapper Keeper. The Art of Subtlety. Hotline.”

Those….are just titles of sites you’ve visited? You think. You don’t memorize the hundreds of sites you visit.

“Tactical Submission. All That’s Said In Low Light. The Captain’s Private Orders. All the Sins You Never Had the Courage to Commit. Silent Weapons, Soft Target. To Drive a Man to Madness. Covert Rendezvous.”

Soap looks confused, which isn’t a good look right now. ‘What’s all this?’ He seems to say as he looks at you. You look confused as well.

You Don't remember this as being a part of your research.

This Wasn't Part Of Your Research.

“Sir Yes Sir. Directive 69: Breach & Enter. Man In Uniform. Under the Hood: Sensitive Material. Bravo Six: Going Dark. Decompression Protocol. Advanced Recon: Close Quarters. Mask-On Compliance. Command Authority: At Ease.”

Johnny looked even more confused. That’s…a lot more than you showed him. You didn’t tell him about any of this and by the sounds of it it seems important.

“Low-Profile Insertion. Kylassified BBC. Private Briefing: The Captain’s Touch. The Alpha Lieutenant. Engagement Protocol.”

Wait. Alpha Lieutenant? that sounds so familiar to you.

“Explosive Affairs. Now You See ‘em, Now You Don’t. Help Me Out (Get Me Off).”

“Hen what’s this?” Soap whispers sharply to you.

“Someone to Bleed. Silent Takeover. Behind Enemy Lines (Barracks Edition). Black Ops Ships.”

Ships?

Ships??

SHIPSSS??

SHIIIIIIPPSSSS??!!

No

no please god no

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

“Modern Warfare Collection. C4 & Chill. Op Order: Stand to Attention.”

Soap looked worried at your panicked look.

'What are you hiding?'

“Slow Burn Deployment. Headcannon: Operator Edition. Cold War AU. Warzone AU. Infinite Warfare AU. Ship Week Prompts.”

“This isn’t what it looks like” you whisper back but it’s not very convincing when the words Cold War, Warzone and Warfare is coming out of Ross’ mouth

“Modern Warfare Drabbles. Modern Warfare Oneshots. Multi chapter AU Missions. Modern Warfare PWP. Kinktober: Advanced Warfare Edition. Fix-it-Fic: After Action Report.”

He’s literally reading your fucking fanfic history.

“Canon-Divergence ABO AU. WIP Modern Warfare 2.”

ABO?! fml that’s like the worst one?! What could be worse!?

“CoD x Reader."

tHaT wAsN't a fUcKiNg cHAllEnGe rOsS!!

"Reader Inserts: Classified Quarters. Modern Warfare Imagines.” Ross finishes as if he didn’t completely and utterly demolish your dignity in one fell swoop by reading your fanfic history right in front of Johnny

.

.

.

.

“Care to explain all that ma’am?” Ross asks innocuously Now, all three men turn towards you for answers, though Soap is still on your side, he wanted your explanation

You clear your throat, finding it suddenly dry. Was it always hot in here or was it just you?

“I….um…”

At the hesitation, Milton and Ross perk up “Those are just….fictional stories I like reading.” You vaguely say

“Hmm. That’s an awful lot of them military themed”

You nod hastily “yep!” You squeak “I’m just….really into it”

yeah I’m sure you are you whore

All three of them seem to scrutinize you under their gaze. The agents gaze spoke of suspicions and Soap’s never knew you were into that bonny

“So all of this is just a curiosity? You seemed to stay up late on these sites. All these titles are cause for suspicion in one way or another”

you doubt that but I guess they wouldn’t understand what some of these terms would be

“Y-yeah…the stories aren’t….focused on military stuff anyway it’s just….silly stories about the characters” you force out as you wish the ground would swallow you whole. They don’t even seem convinced as you experience an ego death right next to Soap. “It’s harmless! Honest!” You say, digging yourself into a deeper grave.

“Could you show us one of them” Milton challenges

I’d rather you shoot me but okay! You pull out your phone and go on AO3

“Lass what are you doing?” Soap whisper hisses at you, thinking it’s bad.

“Nothing. Don’t worry about it” you whisper back. You try to find……nothing too weird. That shouldn’t be too hard right?

right?

You show him the beginning of some slow burn. Nothing crazy happens in the beginning of a slow burn right?

You all sit in silence as old ass men read fanfiction titles right fucking in front of you with varying expressions. But you only had one expression: Pain.

Soap looked like he wanted answers but is waiting till they leave “So they’re really just…..stories..?” Ross gruffs

“Yep! Nothing classified here!” You wheeze Ross of course decided to scroll all the way to the top before you could stop him and read the fucking tags you unwillingly flinch in embarrassment and take back your phone so he doesn’t seen any…..inappropriate tags….and you pray they didn’t. You look at your phone and Daymn these tags are pretty good but not something you’d show your parents. He…didn’t read them did he??

DID HE?

Milton doesn’t seem to notice and continues with the questions “so they’re unrelated to earlier searches?”

“YEP!” Your voice cracks

“Does your ’friend’ also have these….‘interests’”

“Uhhhh……maybe? I’m sure she’d like some of them”

Ross seemed to have enough “alright. Seems….harmless enough”

“Does your friend know anything about deeper searches or your husband’s occupation?” Milton checks again

husband

“U-um….she knows he’s in the military…” you dodge the fist part of the question but “And the searches?” Milton wasn’t having any of that

“I didn’t send her anything I know is classified” technically not a lie

“Did you tell her anything classified?”

“I never knew I even read anything bad! I was just curious”

please leave please leave please leave

They didn’t like that. But what could they do? They shoot Soap a look. He shoots one back, as if to say “leave it to me gentlemen”

The men nod “thank you both for your cooperation.” Ross grunts. They move to stand up and you relax slightly Ross straightens his tie as he talks “Be mindful of where you look and who you share it with. Curiosity could get you in serious trouble if you end up on the wrong side of a security breach“

“If you have any questions about classified material, there are legitimate channels.” Milton eyes you both.

pfff! ‘Legitimate Channels’?! If you wanted to watch hours of propaganda you’d watch marvel movies

Ross casually pockets his notebook filled with information the CIA couldn’t waterboard out you. They start to see themselves out but then-

“Hold it right there folks” Soap objects. The men turn to look at him. “Are ye gonna stop watching us? I’m not too keen on being monitored”

The men exchange glances “we’ll be in touch”

Soap doesn’t seem satisfied with that. Seems he still needs to….do things under your table and need their heads away.

“Aye. Aye. I Ken it’s yer jobs tae be cunts. I’m one myself” he reminds “but I’d like tae take a look at her ‘investigation’ myself and dinae want tae be watched”

Oh so that’s why

The men look at each other, straighten up, and try to make him understand “It’s not in our hands sergeant” Milton speaks “we can try to put in a good word. But we can’t make guarantees”

Soap thinks for a moment “aye, I shoulda known...Hmph. That’s alright gentlemen. I’ll just tell my captain and Laswell”

The men look even more serious “alright. I’m sure they’ll clear her name for you.” They start to see themselves out again but before they could fully leave, the older one, Ross turn his head back and says “It’s got to have you back sergeant” before finally leaving.

Both of you sigh in relief, the tension seeming to leave you both as you relaxed but neither of you are relaxed at all. Your dignity was in complete shambles, you had a lot to explain and Soap now had another mission as soon as he came back.

A long silence befalls both of you. Neither of you knowing what to say and needing to contemplate. You were there, reality crashing on you realizing how you’ve just stumbled into and Johnny? He’s now just had a new list of objectives to complete:

1. Interrogate you, why didn’t you tell him about those? are you hiding something from him? Have you been lying about what you know?

2. Tell Laswell and Price everything he knows and everything that happened. He already sent screenshots, they haven’t responded, and there’s been…..recent updates to suspicious activity he has to investigate.

3. Try to clear your name. But only if he’s concluded you deserved it. And he’s worried you didn’t deserve it. Those titles did sounded suspicious

4.Contact the shadow. How dare he talk to his wee bonny lass? Was it random? Was it bait? Was it targeted? Was it a part of something bigger he might not survive?

As both of you were processing the events, neither of you knew what to say. Soap braved a glance at you, you were looking right at him…wanting to speak but not knowing how to start. His eyes softened. How could he think anything malevolent of you? He’s sure you have an explanation. He put his signature teasing smile on his face.

“Husband eh? Looks like they made it official for us.” He jokes

You look surprised, before slowly cracking a small laugh and shaking your head. He smiles at the sight: you, on laughing at his antics on his bare chest. His solider brain impelled him from the side of his mind that he usually shut down when he came back to demand

To demand answers now.

But you were precious.

Too precious

But he had a job to do. His Call of Duty

“Lass” he clears his through and tries to keep his tone lighthearted as to not alarm you but the look in his eye was serious. “Care tae explain all tha’? Ye said ye told me everything”

Your eyes widen and your cheeks start heating up, you shove your face back into his chest, an action that would usually have his heart beating faster and his grin wider, but not now, cuz that’s MiGhTy sUsPiCioUs. His eyes grow even more serious. “What’s wrong bonny” his pet name sounds forced “are ye hiding’ something?”

You don’t seem to catch the weight of his tone, too engulfed in the absolute embarrassment of the events. Bad news. “Lass” he says through clenched teeth. “Care tae explain?” He fights the urge to grip your hair and force eye contact. He needs answers.

You catch on and snap your head up “I-i-it’s not what I-it l-l-looks like! I can explain!”

no you can't

oh god how am I going to explain I read smutty military fanfiction?! HE’S IN THE FUCKING MILITARY

“Ye said ye told me everything”

“I did!”

“Then what was all that? You didn’t show me all those.”

“I-I-I answered truthfully! Honest!”

“So all th’ was jus’ stories?” He asks, suspicious

“Yes! I promise!”

“About what?”

"Just….some..military stuff”

“Ye seemed eager tae make sure sheriff Sunburn and Deputy Mustache dinnae read it.” He presses

“It’s just….um….about the characters themselves. Like about lieutenants, soldiers, sergeants, mercenaries. Not about combat or battle….usually..”

So you’re learning about their means to an end? The average person doesn’t read hours of Mein Kampf, Das Kapital, The Art of War, The Turner Diaries etc for the writing style. So he scowls more as if that’s worse “an’ why would ye want tae know that?”

“Just……for fun..”

“Fer fun?”

“Hmm hmm” you force out.

Oh lord, if you’re listening, please help. I know we haven't always gotten along with my reading history and every thought I have when Johnny is shirtless but please!

“Then why don’t I have some ‘fun’ too? Give me your phone” he challenges, determined to find you out. Your eyes widen and your throat goes dry

oh lord please no

Your reaction seemed to confirm his suspicions and I look of betrayal and denial seeped into his face. You lied to him? You lied?! What were you plotting?

The look on his face broke your heart and you panicked more “I-i-it’s not bad! Honest! C'mon I need you on my side Johnny! You know I’d never do anything bad!”

“Honest?” He seemed to mock “well if ye wanna talk about honesty. Let’s talk about how ye went behind my back and learned everythin’ I’ve been trying tae hide from ye, only for you to end up being someone I’d fight against and ye won’t even let me not believe it!”

“Nononononono” you shake your head. Then. You sigh, defeated

“…..don’t laugh…”

Soap seemed to ease up at that.

“It’s…..uh…transformative works based on preexisting concepts made by regular civilians”

“Does it end with the army lads plantin’ a bomb or rescuin’ a kitten? I’m sure ‘The Captain’s Private Orders’ and ‘Operation Deep Infiltration’ sound like stories with happy endings. Next thing I see is you pitching’ American Sniper tae our wee Simon fer a bedtime story”

oh they have happy endings alright

You groan and place your hands in your hands “they’re not even about military bullshit! They’re about military video game characters!” You slip

“….stories…..about video game...military…” he mumbled to himself. Then…slowly, his entire demeanor shifts. His shoulders drop and his face twist into disbelief

“No. fucking. way” he looks at you but there was no malice, making you foolishly relax as well “what?”

“Lass…”

“Johnny?”

“…were ye readin’ fanfiction?!” He yells in absolute disbelief!

“W-what! I-I-I”

“Don’t try tae lie tae me sweetheart!” He laughs, and despite it being at your expense pride swelled in your heart at making him laugh so hard. “Ye wee filthy lass!” He laughs.

“N-no!!” You yell in a blushing defense but that just confirms his suspicions further and he wasn’t having any of that. You're dignity was going for a round two and there is no tap outs avaliable

“I cannae believe it! The wee Innocent Princess has a dark side! Tell me lassie, do ye like the idea of a big mean soldier tossin’ a wee ting like you and fuckin’ her silly?”

“It’s not all smutty!” You slip up. Well shit now you’ve confirmed it!

“Is that so? are they all big dark, brooding and misunderstood?” He keeps going, merciless “or are they too busy shagging each other? An’ I’m right here! Without the plot holes or filers! I’m proper jealous! Am I not strong enough fer ye Bonnie? I promise I’m a better fuck than Audie Murphy!” He laughs, clutching his chest in faux heartbreak

“Noooooo!”

“Dae the lads recite Shakespeare tae woo ye? I should try tha’! O, my sweet lass, how doth thy beauty compare to a well-placed grenade?’”

“Okay well fuck you too Johnny”

“ye wish! Is this what ye’ve been reading at night?! All cozy in yer Jammies readin’ about an alpha male in yer bedroom? I gotta see this!”

“Jounnyyy!!” you shove your face into your hands, unable to face him

“What’s yer favorite one lass? ‘Tactical Submission’? ‘*Deeeep* Infiltration’” he leans in close to you, making sure to be right in front of your hands on your face

“What was it again? ‘Captain’s Private Orders’? I could give ye orders if ye like lass”

“Oh I’m sorry Sergeant jealousy, I didn’t know it was part of protocol to get your CV before reading in what I thought was the privacy of my home!” You whine into your hands then he grips your wrists and rips them away to revel in your shattered dignity

“I dinae think the day would ever come where I’d find this about ye! Are ye that patriotic or have I swooned ye? I shoulda went in tae makin’ porn! Then at least ye’d be Diddling tae a proper braw belter!”

You groan so loudly you sound like an angsty teen on their phone. You look away, your face too hot to breath properly “Who needs recruiters when they have me! Are you tryin to tell me somethin lass?” He leans in way too fucking close making it hard to breathe.

You whine indignantly “yeah!” You choke out. His eyes brighten and it pisses you off more right now “l found that that military men are really sexy! You’re just a shit example!” You yell out.

He throws his head back in laughter. Finally you can breathe without his smothering proximity. “Awww lass! Don’t be like tha’!”

You huff and don’t meet his face

“Lassie” he calls out, still holding your wrists

“Fuck off Johnny”

“Awww don’t be like that hen. I’m sure it’s a nice way tae keep warm when the real thing isn’t there”

“Johnny I swear to god I will sell you to foreign forces for a corn chip if you don’t shut the fuck up”

“Fee a corn chip? Nae I’m sure you can bargain fer better.” He grins wider and leans back in “like…say….a night with one of their soldiers.”

“Johnny I swear to god-“ He gasps as if he suddenly got an idea “Ye really should show me some!” Your eyes shoot open in horror

“absolutely not!” You yell “ain’t no way!”

He whines and places both hands in the couch ‘wall’ behind you, encasing you. You knew he was going to try and roll persuasion. He rolls a 19 but you roll a 20 on insight and see his roguish mischievousness through those twitter-blue eyes. He lowers himself a bit and looks up at you with those big blue pupper eyes, it’s especially ethos with those bandages “Bonny-” he starts, dripping with faux sincerity

“No.”

“Lass pl-“

“I said no Johnny”

“Hen”

“I said NO Johnny! I will throw Simon at you don’t test me!”

He whines like a dog and encircles me more, trying to apply pressure.

“Princess.”

You sigh, hot faced with anger and embarrassment “what.” He grins.

“I love ye”

Though those sad puppy eyes were optimized to disintegrate your will, they were gleaming with mischief

“shut it” you shove him off to run away but he throws himself on top of you like a clingy dog and pinning you on the couch “don’t gooo, say it baack”

“Get off me!” You whine, fantasizing about locking yourself into your bed room and scream into your pillow

“Not until he tell me I’m more braw then the Bawbags ye read about!”

“Fat chance sergeant suds!” You struggle under his the immovable object that is Johnny with the unstoppable force that is your rage.

But then-lightbulb!

💡💡💡

He’s taught you many things, some of which includes how to evade capture by government agents and how to get out of being pinned. You decide to use one of the tricks he taught you. Usually it might not work on the big bad sergeant soap, but he’s sore, fresh out of the hospital, and hasn’t worked out in weeks. He’s not at full strength. You’ve got this!

“Well then yer stuck here!” He taunts and continues to make fucking fun of you “Why don’t ye write naughty fanfiction of me? I’m amazin’!”

“Oh I’ve got a naughty story for you Sergeant!”

You hook your legs around his waist, shutting him up quick. You shift your hips, buck up hard, pushing your knee against his hip. The unexpected momentum makes him yelp and it rolls him enough to loosen his hold as he instinctively tries to catch himself from falling off the couch.

“long. live. the king!”

You snake an arm free and shove his shoulder with all your Disney movie might, tossing him off the couch with a thud

You scramble to your feet as he stares in surprise “I know all your tricks Sudsy!”

“I taught ye that! Y-ye traitor!” He groans. You turn to skiddadle away.

“Honey wait!” He calls after you but nope! You’re gone! He shoots up to chase you. You slam your door and lock yourself in your bedroom to sulk, scream, punch something and pout.

“This isnae over Bonny!” He says truthfully, not only was there the other stuff to take care of but he has to read some of that! “You cannae escape me forever!”

“I just did!” You scream through your bedroom door and flop on the bed to scream.

“This is war bonny! And I don’t lose!” You can hear his laughter from the other room. He stands there, arms crossed as if waiting for you to come out. After a few beats of silence he decides to grant you a shred of mercy and leave you to your pain. He moves to drop on the couch. He still has work to do, but at least he’s sure you’re definitely innocent. Well, innocent in terms of crime. He still hasn’t read those fics.

He sees Simon and tries to pet him. Simon, however was having none of that. He was being malicious mean and scary and stares at Johnny with a sneer that could curdle dairy as if to say that crime wise his hands are not the cleanest.

He has concluded that Johnny Upset You and refuses to be pet by him till an Official Pardon has been issued by the princess herself.

He hisses grumpily like he’s saying ‘you’ve angered the queen’s envoy, human. No cuddles for you’ and enters your room to comfort you. How? Oh he’s got a dream. Lol jk. Like this:

https://youtube.com/shorts/a-MvV2Oo4cE?si=UMNuw2ndX3Oxj9uC

[mammomlette]

OK CHAT LOCKING IN AND WRITING AS I COME UP WITH STUFF FOR AN OBEY ME THE GOOD PLACE AU BECAUSE OF BRAINROT💔 (the good place spoilers below, obey me spoilers below too but lesser)

So starting with the obvious ones:

Eleanor is MC (both main characters, both the humans who brought peace to the universe or whatever. Also both whores who said that?)

Janet is Barbatos (both op and very smart who live to help and grow closer with the mc slowly)

Ok I actually can’t think of anymore obvious ones. (I’m gonna preface that I’m going based mostly off of personalities and their roles to the story, not their relationships with one another so if I put two brothers as people who end up together this is NOT demoncest I’m not talking about the romance aspect😭)

Going through the main the good place cast, it makes sense that Jason is Mammon (loveable dorks with good hearts but do crime lowkey. They’re literally the same person)

AND THAT WOULD MEAN IN THIS UNIVERSE BARBMON/MACARON IS CANON IG? (Again I’m not focusing on the romance aspect, this is just something just worth saying)

Who would be Tahani? Asmo, maybe? They both like to brag about themselves, they’re both canonically the hottest, both popular and lowkey pretentious… yeah I’d go with that

And chidi is difficult. He’s indecisive, a great lover, a nerd, loves reading, into moral philosophy, so I’m gonna say Simeon is the closest, but I’m not sure if that would fit well just better than others

Michael is hard. Maybe Michael is Michael; both called Michael and mysterious ig, but I think he’d be a better fit for either Solomon or Diavolo. Let me explain:

Solomon and Michael both appear friendly at first while actually having bad intentions. They possess a power unknown to any of their peers and as the series goes on, grow very attached to the main characters. They’re also both different to what they first said they were (Michael claimed to be an angel but was a demon, Solomon didn’t explicitly claim to be normal but he’s certainly more powerful than he appears)

Diavolo and Michael also both appear friendly at first, except diavolo actually is friendly which lowkey ruins it… though I’d say diavolo seems like he has some ulterior motive in the start of the game lowkey, he really doesn’t. Dude just wants peace. Which is similar to Michaels character growth but that feels like a stretch. they’re both in control of the whole thing, and are trying to introduce a new idea to the afterlife despite backlash.

I’d say Solomon fits better though (in either case, this would result in Solomon/diavolo being kind of a father figure to Barb at some point, which is funny to think about)

Ok now non-main characters

Vicky is Satan, which would mean it would be funny to have lucifer be Michael, but lucifer just isn’t as good of a fit for Michael as Solomon is, sadly. Satan and Vicky both feel like they have a point to prove to people underestimating them and they’re both quite smart and value their knowledge and likeability.

Mindy st Claire pisses me off (not the character, thinking about who would be her) BECAUSE Solomon is definitely best fit for her (humans who are their own league of morality, kind of anti-social/lonely though that’s because of isolation, relaxed) BUT he’s better fit for Michael. Soooo we will return to her LMAO (rn considering Levi???)

Simeon would also be good for her (Humans who I imagine wouldn’t be allowed into the good/bad place since he’s kinda yk just fell from there…) but he’s much better as chidi

Glenn would fit as mammon but mammon is so Jason-coded it’s unreal

What other characters even exist uhhhh ummm uhhh

I want to figure out who the twins would be

WAIT NONONO GO BACK GO BACK

TAHANI AS SATAN AND CAMILLA AS LUCIFER OFMS THATS THEIR DYNAMIC DOWN TO A TEA

Lucifer/camilla is much more accomplished and respected, which makes satan/tahani resent her/him. Tahani and satan are both well read and self respecting as well.

Then who would Asmo be fml

I mean mindy is always joking about masturbating. Not even joking she’s just jorking it 24/7 and she did record Eleanor and chidi for a sex tape so I’d say Asmo is pretty well fit yeah

Who would be asmos derek then. Hm. We can ignore he was made by Janet/barb since that doesn’t really apply to anyone (perchance Solomon or dia since they lowkey have a family bond??? Stretch) and focus on the fact he was incredibly stupid but Asmo/mindy reset him so much he got very smart (I think by the end of the series he was like… a god? Help)

I think Solomon would fit actually but he’s better as Michael and I don’t like the idea of Solomon being Barbatos’ rebound for mammon because mammon started sleeping with satan. I hate that sentence, actually. Especially that last part. What am I doing with my life

Anyway I think we should come back to Derek (considering Mephisto I will explain later if I stick with that)

OH MY GOODNESS THE JUDGE WHATS HER NAME FICK WHATS HER NAME

THE ONE WHO SIMPS FOR ALL THE MEN WHAT IS HER NAME

Anyway she’s exactly how I imagine Michael acts. Very old very powerful but just cunty and obsessed with sit coms and hot men. Because. Also they’re both judges of the afterlife or whatever

Who tf is bad Janet. I could envision Asmo but I like Asmo as Mindy and don’t want to rethink that decision. Actually let’s stay loyal to the lore bad Janet is just Barbatos as an au. Bad Janet is Barbatos’ aquarium fit cause that’s bad /neg 😡

The main characters go into Janet’s void/barbatos’ room of doors or whatever and they all just look like different barbatos fits.

Ok but also Belphie could be bad Janet, lowkey… no barb au 100% I’m sticking with there just being a million barbs (this implies disco barb exists. Fun)

I do remember Sean’s existence I just don’t know who he’d be. I like the idea of him being Raphael but Raphael isn’t mean they just have the same vibes yk. They need beef with michael/solomon. Lucifer would’ve been perfect for this but alas he is decided as Camilla😪 thirteen???? WAIT YES THIRTEEN IS OERFECT THAT IS LITERALLY HE DYNAMIC WITH SOLOMON YES I want thirteen in a suit

Gwendolyn Luke? Gwendolyn Luke. (I didn’t know who she was in at the point I have to Google the good place characters: she’s the girl they see in the good place who doesn’t let them ring the phone if you remember

We’re running out of om characters but I want Doug forcett to be the unnamed butcher from s3 because that’s so funny to me

But we still don’t have a Beel :( he’s not Simone, I don’t think he’s anyone of the s4 test humans (but Asmo would def be the one friends with Tahani)

Levi who r u. I was gonna just leave some characters out but I’ve only got like 3 left so I’m determined to find them all characters.

Mepbisto as Simone????????? Would Raphael fit better??????? One of those two as Simone, we will return when we have a character for Levi

Levi bambadjan? Yeah okay no real reason I just like bambadjan I want him included

Simone is into neuroscience, she’s smart, self assured, sassy and exes with chidi (who is now Simeon) but tbh I could see both Raphael and Mephisto as her… I’m gonna say Mephisto because I feel like he just has that wit that Simone has and Raphael isn’t rlly as witty

Who is Raphael then guys. Anybody like spears? Wet cat energy? Bad food taste? Sorry I don’t like Raphael enough (NOT HATE🙅‍♀️) to be able to characterize him properly. I would say one of the good place council members but nah he’s not overly positive enough for that. Could he be Hypatia, maybe? They have similar vibes when she’s not drinking milkshake and being all woo-ey because of the immortality thing but that still doesn’t feel right.

Wait did I do diavolo

FUCK DID I FORGET BELPHIE TOO

Ok Belphie is Trevor but who is diavolo oh my DAYS

I fear I may have to replace Michael with Diavolo for the judge💔which still works imo since they’re insanely powerful (in strength and influence), old, and pretty chill if entertained but very set on their goals and motivated. It just means no Michael unless you want Michael to be the whole good place council

Oh also lil d’s as the demons pretending to be humans in the good place and lil d 2 as Todd (the one always show in demon form) just because that makes me giggle

Wait I’m now realising that I forgot to recast Vicky when I made Satan tahani

Vicky is Raphael that fits a bit (totally not just trying to fit them both in) so no more Hypatia oh well she was in like 2 episodes and was just a plot device anyway maybe she can be maddi idk who else exists

Edit: I forgot to recast Derek. Oops. Derek is lowkey Solomon coded but AGAIN I like him too much as michael, so I’m gonna say Dia??? And that way Michael can be judge Gen? Idk how to feel about implying Dia and Barbatos dated and Barb created him as a rebound though… Oh well I’m already technically implying Satan and Mammon did the deed and that’s gross so just ignore the relationship implications based on casting🙏

SO TO SUMMARISE:

Eleanor- MC

Chidi- Simeon

Tahani- Satan

Jason- Mammon

Michael- Solomon

Janet- Barbatos

Shawn- Thirteen

Vicky- Raphael(?)

Glenn- Beel

Judge Gen (because I googled her name)- Michael

Mindy- Asmo

Kamilah- Lucifer

Bad Janet- also Barbatos

Bambadjan- Levi (LMAO I’m sorry)

Trevor- Belphie

Gwendolyn- Luke

Neutral Janet- Barbatos again

Simone- Mephisto(?)

Derek: Diavolo (I hate that cast though)

Doug forcett- The butcher from season 3?😭

Demon workers- lil d’s

Disco Janet- still Barbatos who would have guessed

And some honourable mentions (double casts) cause lucifer is Brett, Asmo is tahanis friend from s4 I forgot yk the gossip guy with a blog, Mammon is the guy who takes his top off instead of fighting that was Eleanor’s fake soulmate number 2, I’m not doing all their family’s guys but donkey Doug could be like lil d 2 or smthn. I’m gonna post this and forget someone which I’m trying to avoid but ohh welllll

Thank you for coming to my ted talk

I want to draw this now🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️

[andsalttheearthbehindyou]

may reading wrap up

1. elektra, jennifer saint - well last month i ended up reading a bunch of retellings.! i’ve always loved elektra so much and get irked when she’s written off as clytmenestras moody angsty daughter. so i was disappointed with this book being more of that? she’s literally side lined in a book that is titled after her. it gives more story time to cassandra and clytemnestra. which is fine but then don’t call the story elektra?! some lines stood out but definitely not a favorite which was sad, bc i was excited about this :(

2. the deal, elle kennedy - again a terrible booktok rec, i keep trying them thinking one might hit and i never realized this was a hockey one but again just really shit. i can’t think of any romance book i’ve actually liked other than boys of tommen fml chloe walsh why rugby in ireland and why not hockey in sweden… :(

3. corinne, rebecca morrow - investigative journalism purely and only because i wanted to see if this was in fact stephanie meyer and idk, was that confirmed ?? i honestly don’t think this is her. the book itself also isn’t even terrible and i’m always jarred seeing how the other half lives

4. saturnalia, stephanie feldman - so i guess on the surface this is very fast paced, atmospheric, and fun, but also corny and not for me

5. post-traumatic, chantal v johnson - brain melting in a bad way sooooo corny so stupid woke so unfunny

6. stolen, lucy christopher - BEST BOOK OF MY LIFE WOWWWWWWWWW OMFGGGGG INCREDIBLE .

7. deerskin, robin mckinley - shocked that this didn’t resonate with me as i really do like this fairytale but i think the writing style just wasn’t my thing and i also feel like this could’ve benefited from being shorter

8. a fate inked in blood, danielle jensen - very pretty cover. it looks nice in my book stacks. so its not completely useless! :)

9. big swiss, jen beagin - so funny, and probably the most deserving book of getting moshfegh comparisons.

10. beartown, fredrik hackman - very slow but i powered thru bc of all the great things id heard. unfortunately i just found the characters and plot and writing really really corny.

11. saving 6, chloe walsh - this series!!!!!!!!!!!!! literally the only romance series that has like truly gripped me

[multiplefandomsblog]

TW; Kinda suggestive??? Boob grabbing lmfao

Okay this is something random I just thought of but-

imagine your s/o is just feeling you up, groping your boob whilst you both made out, and then they’re just like- “wait is that a bump??” And then they start to feel your breast even more, but thoroughly groping it; not thinking of how weird the situation was. They would start panicking, “WAIT DOES THIS MEAN YOU HAVE BREAST CANCER!?” Then they’d start crying like- “oh gOd YouRe goNNa DiE-“

[formulawonu]

seventeen & amusement parks

prompt: how svt would be with you at an amusement park (thanks to this)

a/n: im back…. svt brainrot still alive and kicking. imagine going to an amusement park with seventeen that would be so fun :/ btw i take requests for reactions or small blurbs so hi carats please be my friends!!!!!!

seungcheol: he would act like he isn’t scared at all then start giggling the moment u get in line to ride something 🥱 screams his ass off during the ride itself and says it wasn’t that scary right after fml he’d buy all the ride souvenir pics tho

jeonghan: would get u to ride a rollercoaster even if ur scared asf then when he notices ur freaking out he would start saying stuff like “this is fr just 5-10 mins of ur life it really won’t last forever if u wanna conquer other things u have to conquer this first” just so u could focus on bickering with him instead of being nervous :( then after the ride he’d be all “I TOLD U IT WASNT THAT BAD U WERE WORRYING FOR NOTHING” then gives u a tight hug bec he’s proud of u anyway. man is so confusing but i love him

joshua: byeeeeee he’d get u to ride whatever rides he wants to ride because 1) hes paying 2) he just has the ability to reassure u that ur gonna be fine until ur already strapped in and can’t ask to get off the ride anymore. he'd be the type to check on you in the middle of the ride and ask u if ur ok. its giving spongebob and patricks "are you feeling it now mr krabs." also praises for u for going on scary rides tho. tricky man pt. 2

junhui: he’d be so game to do anything and ride anything!!!! u for sure have two day passes or something bec i feel like junhui would really take his time exploring the whole park and trying out as much things as he can. also bad news for u if u hate haunted houses u are for sure going to one with this guy

hoshi: 100% peer pressures you into riding all the rollercoasters or gets u to sit at the back of any ride. im sorry u signed up for the Real Amusement Park Experience™️ the moment u chose him to go with u. he'd be all "why did we bother going if we dont go all the way!!!!" and yes u do have matching headbands or hoodies. let him live his life <//3

wonwoo: he’d honestly say yes to most rides for the ~experience~ and will just love watching u freak out or scream. imagine him sitting beside u then smiling/laughing at how nervous u look. him telling u ur gonna be fine,…. imagine him throwing his hands up during a ride and having fun. i think im going to cry pls id so want to be beside him on any ride JUST ONCE

woozi: plz respect his time ,,, pick max two rides THEN GO HOME! u know what maybe two is pushing it pick one and be grateful he even came 😪

minghao: PLS HE’D BE SO FUN AT AMUSEMENT PARKS HE’LL RIDE ANYTHING WITH U!!!!????? he’s also just laughing the entire time and not complaining abt the heat or the lines. if he finds a ride he rly rly rly likes he’d ask u to line up w him again just so he could experience the feeling once more. also ur staying for the fireworks no questions asked

mingyu: im sorry but ur gonna have to force him to get on any ride that doesnt stay on the ground. the mans height has unfortunately made him afraid of anything taller than him. u guys would have cute ass pics though <//3 he'd also go food tripping with you and carry u on his shoulders if the situation ever had to call for it like watching the parade or smth??? idk why but he would do it anw just needed to put it out there

seokmin: ANOTHER SCARED ONE. however hes waaaaay easier to talk into riding rides with u as long as u can reassure him every five minutes that he’ll be fine and deal with his nervous jitters as the line gets shorter and shorter. he wont shut up lmfao so if ur also scared its just both of u scaring each other until u get on the ride. would be funny when u look back on the experience tho jsdkfhsdf u also have matching headwear w him and he's singing to the songs playing all the time

seungkwan: omfg he would be so nervous lining up for any ride. “That thing just creaked i swear” “what are the chances of this ride stopping in mid-air?” But would love love love the adrenaline that comes with rides. I honestly think he would love the teacup ride in disneyland dont even ask me why. would also befriend kids on the rides/lines with u

vernon: he is really there for The Vibes™️ but dont get him wrong he would be screaming his ass off on diff rides i can already imagine his face xjenfjtngk he’s trying to find where the camera is on each ride so he knows when to pose lmao

dino: im crying why is he that friend u have that is so excited to ride all the rides then pukes after the first one and has to sit down and drink water to recuperate after hxjsnejdnc but he'd be so fun to be with and he'd make u laugh all the time. would take pics with all the characters roaming the park

[yakumtsaki]

Well things were nice and calm for one entire update, but don’t worry, we’re back to normal AS AIDEN CHEATS ON SANDY WITH JENNICOR TRICOU. AIDEN WHY. YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH 3 BOLTS

-C̴A̵N̵'̸T R̷E̷S̴I̸S̵T T̴H̸E V̵A̶M̶P G̴I̸L̸F🧟

OH MY GOD

-H̶O̵W C̸O̶U̷L̶D Y̸O̵U̵ ̶A̵I̸D̴E̵N, I̴ G̷AV̴E U̸P M̷Y L̴I̸F̴E A̶S A̷ C̷R̶Y̶P̴T S̸E̷R̵V̶A̴N̵T F̸O̴R̶ T̶H̷I̶S🧟‍♀️

Bro I can’t. I try to unlag our lot by marrying Sugar off, he cheats on his wife. I try to unlag our lot by marrying Sandy off, she gets cheated on. Not to be self-centered but WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME

-Welcome back Sandy, the bathrooms need cleaning! -G̷O̷O̵D̴ T̵O̴ ̴B̸E̴ B̴A̶C̴K🧟‍♀️

UGH

-Don’t worry bitch, I’m about to help with the lag once I take this final dump!

-Nice! About time I fuck outta here, see you stupid assholes never! 

DOBRONEGA NO

-Tell Cyn that I love her and my children that I hate them! 

-NOOOOO DOBRIE NOOOO HOW AM I GONNA LIVE WITHOUT YOU💗

Poor Cyn was devastated, she cried for days, her and Dobronega really had a Victoria/Victor pet soulmate thing going💔 RIP Dobronega, I’ll miss you so much💔

Because I wasn’t upset enough, the goddamn cleanbot had the worst meltdown yet, look at this shit:

FML. Sophito you have maxed mechanical, feel like taking a crack at fixing this??

-No thanks, I’d much rather play the piano and risk actual death by flies! 

Thank God we have iVan around here because you people are USELESS.

Case in point. The military uniform is killing me.

-𝙿𝙰𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚃𝙸𝙲. 𝙸𝙵 𝙲𝚈𝙽𝙴𝚂𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷 𝙷𝙰𝙳 𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙲𝚁𝙴𝙰𝚃𝙴𝙳 𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷 𝙼𝙴 𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙶𝙴𝙽𝚈 𝚆𝙾𝚄𝙻𝙳 𝙷𝙰𝚅𝙴 𝚂𝚄𝙿𝙴𝚁𝙸𝙾𝚁 𝙼𝙴𝚃𝙰𝙻𝙻𝙸𝙲 𝙱𝙻𝙰𝙳𝙳𝙴𝚁𝚂.

Bartholomew’s amazing 1 nice point is starting to reveal itself, this kid is a NIGHTMARE.

-Come on, Barth, concentrate! You’re four, you need to learn how to speak! -GOO GOO >:(

Bartholomew straight up exhausted Sophie so I had to send in reinforcements. 

-Alright, listen here, Bratolomew, I have enough disappointing family members, so learn to talk or Mr. Teddy loses his head.  -FINE, YOU WIN, GEEZER

Felina returns from her first day of school, runs to hug Sophito (I’ll never get used to what good parents him and Liz are)-

-and brings with her Spice! Sugar has actually been a really good dad other than you know, destroying his marriage for no reason, while Spice was a toddler I always invited Sug over to hang out with his bebe so they have a good relationship. Now that Spice is a kid we can invite him over to our lot!

Awwwww❤️ God Sugar I’m still SO PISSED AT YOU FOR THE CLAIRE DIVORCE

Jojo is on his last legs (screaming crying throwing up) so I fulfil his wish to re-become a werewolf-

-BUT APPARENTLY HE HAD A SIMULTANEOUS FEAR OF BECOMING ONE TOO. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. WILL YOU MAKE UP YOUR MIND

-NO.

Here we go again, YOU’RE CURED. LAST TIME JOJO, I MEAN IT

-It’s ok, I’ve made up my mind..

-..a face this stunning should not be covered in fur!

No comment!

-OH MY GOD MY NEAT POINTS CAN’T TAKE THIS MESS -MINE NEITHER I’M LOSING MY MIND -IF ONLY iVAN OR SANDY WERE HERE TO CLEAN -EXACTLY, WE’RE TOO GOOD FOR IT

Un.real.

OH HELL YA, GET IT. Once we hit half a mil we’re moving to an even bigger, laggier mansion!

-Omg you guys, isn’t so funny how all 3 of you have worked most of your lives and I got a job as an elder and make more than you? Huhu!🌸

-Seriously, it’s totally crazy how my earnings have eclipsed yours! I mean look at Sophie, worked and worked to top the law career and for what?💗 -So I can represent myself in your murder trial. -Huhu looks like you guys are having your toast with a side of envy! Don’t even get me started on Shajar, mayor by 25 because she was running unopposed! Boy my life is FINALLY perfect!🌸

-HI WHAT THE HECK💗 -That’s right Cyneswith, I’m here to replace Aiden and Jack Do as your obligatory psycho spurned lover! I’m gonna barge in here daily to catch you cheating on me with your husband! 

OH MY GOD GINGER SHEA JOHNSTON GTFO WHEN WILL THIS STOP

Awww❤️

Awwwwww❤️

Aww- SUGAR WHY IS THE GIRL YOU CHEATED ON JESSICA WITH HERE

-What do you think, Barth, time for ole’ uncle Sugar to get married again?

YA IT ABSOLUTELY IS NOT

I don’t know if you guys realize how long I’ve been trying to get Sandy on top of the culinary career, it’s RIDIC. This is the hardest time I’ve had with a career since Wyatt, Sandy WTF

-P̸E̸O̵P̸LE D̸I̵S̷C̴R̶IM̵I̶N̷A̵T̴E A̴G̷A̴I̴N̵S̸T Z̸O̷M̷B̷I̸E C̷O̷O̴K̸S̴! S̷O̷M̵E̷O̸N̷E F̵I̵N̷DS Y̵O̷U̸R E̷Y̵E I̴N T̷H̸E̴I̵R S̴O̷U̵P̸ O̵N̷C̷E-🧟‍♀️

OK MOVING ON

-Alright Felina, seeing as science is your one true hobby, your father is useless, and I have one day left on this wretched planet, it’s time for me to teach you the secrets of repairing iVan! -But I don’t wanna learn to repair that stupid robot, huhu!🌸 -ALRIGHT THE HUHUING STOPS NOW. Write this down: “To repair iVan you turn off his killmode switch-” which of course I’ve always left on.. -Ok.. -“and reassure him you love him and he’s a good boy, but if he doesn’t calm down you’re turning him into car parts”.

Oh wow, super scientific! 

It’s Bartholomew’s birthday from which I have no pics because iVan almost killed us again..

-𝙸 𝙲𝙰𝙽'𝚃 𝙱𝙴𝙻𝙸𝙴𝚅𝙴 𝙼𝚈 𝙻𝙴𝙶 𝙸𝚂 𝙽𝙾𝚆 𝙿𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝙾𝙵 𝙰 𝚂𝙲𝙷𝙾𝙾𝙻 𝙱𝚄𝚂. -Believe it, buddy!

..and here he is with his glorious Ti-Ning nose! Boy did that toddlerhood cuteness of yours disappear. 

-We get the face we deserve!

At least you’re self-aware!

Felina brought Cyan, June and Lakshmi’s bb with her from school! It’s so nice that all our lil cousins we’ll go to college with are showing up❤️

-Swan soooooooooong......... So loooooooong, shitty family, so looooooooooong..............🎵

It’s time😭😭😭

-Hello, old friend. Have you come for me? -I HAVE BEEN WALKING BY YOUR SIDE FOR A LONG TIME💀 -That I know. -ARE YOU PREPARED💀 -You have no idea.

SHAJAR DO YOU FUCKING MIND

OH MY GOD SHAJAR SERIOUSLY GET OUT OF THE FRAME

-It’s alright, it’s only appropriate that Shajar disappoint me one last time. So long, family! And truly, it’s been SO LONG. I’m going to find Wyatt now, but don’t worry, my spirit will always be with you, judging, lecturing, and making you soil yourselves.  

-WAAAAAAAAH -WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH -HEY-YO SHAJ! -HEY-YO! 

OH MY. FRANCES

-DADDY NO!!!!

OH WOW LOOK WHO WOKE UP. Shajar seriously ffs even for you this was unreal. Jojo left money to absolutely everyone, even Don! Charitable king💔

Frankly, I don’t even know what to say about Jojo, like I try to keep things lighthearted but I teared up when he died. I loved Jojo since he aged up into the snootiest Mr. Darcy toddler of all time, he was one of my favorite sims ever, he had so much personality, he was so much fun to play, and despite being pure evil he really did love his family and always tried to shame them into not being losers. Most of all, he loved Wyatt, with whom he’s now reunited❤️ RIP Jojo, I’ll miss you terribly-

-but clearly your spirit will live on. ABSOLUTELY NOT, SOPHITO

[sadlonelybagel]

SCREWS LOOSE

Albedo X Reader

———————————

This idea has been festering in my mind for a long ass time, I even considered making an OC surrounding it. But we all know I wouldn't commit to that.

And I won't be giving physical descriptions, gender, or sex at all during the fic's duration, as I also hate it when a Y/n is just an OC with no inclusion to readers who don't look like that OC.

This isn’t a fully rendered fic as I have no experience in writing fanfiction because I’m scared of people judging me.

Hope you enjoy! Or don't! I don't care either way. Not like I can tell through the screen anyway.

First time ever posting a fic/prompt/oneshot/idea idk what to call this fml.

I just needed to get this written down somewhere before i vomited lmao.

———————————

As an inventor, Y/n has always been compared to geniuses before them. At first, it was inspiring! They took the opportunity to learn more about history's greatest minds and how they got to be history's greatest minds. Luckily, the library in the Knights of Favonius Headquarters was plentiful in knowledge to quench their thirst for it.

However, that all changed the moment they got their Geo Vision.

Funny right? When you get your Vision, it's supposed to be this great moment of proof to your achievements are power. But it can't seem that way when the entirety of Mondstadt only sees you as a dumber and younger Albedo. Call Y/n petty all you want, but they've grown tired of the comparisons to someone who shares nothing more than a Vision element and a larger than average brain.

A feeling of resentment quickly took root in their heart, with roots thicker than the one's that wove through the base of Windrise.

What made it worse, was that Y/n hadn't even met Albedo before! Maybe it was for the best, Y/n couldn't guarantee that they wouldn't immediately knock him straight into the sun.

Let's hope Albedo knows how to use his Vision for defense, because Y/n is already charging up her Elemental Burst.

———————————

Very short, I know, but you feel inspired at all, don’t be afraid of using any part of it! But if the bones of the idea is there, please credit me. And if you have any questions please dm me so I can clear stuff up with you.

I may be a bitch but I’m not heartless.

~

Reblogging this will cause me to give you a gentle pat on your head like a happy little bagel ghost.

Special thanks to @genshinluvr who inspired me to actually do something with my ideas. Loving quack🦆

[emsvegetables]

27th: you come across something at terushima’s house.

- you’re here to study and chill with him but you spot a little...something on his study table.

no. of words: 1.2k++

okay. i’ve never written much for terushima but i LOVE terushima so much i think he’s actually got much more than meets the eye!!! i hope this made sense and i hope that it’s okay pls forgive me if it isn’t!!!!!!!!!!!! well. this is the last one!!!! yay!

“i swear, your room only gets messier every single time i visit your house,” you wrinkle your nose in distaste when you enter terushima’s room, and you laugh when you spot something on his bed, “is that a hello kitty soft toy?”

terushima laughs from beside you, and shrugs nonchalantly, “my sister gave it to me, so i might as well keep it.”

“cute,” you smile, and nearly slap yourself when the word comes out of your mouth. maybe you were a bit too obvious in your feelings for him.

“thanks, i know,” terushima grins, before picking up some clothes strewn over his bed and throwing them into the laundry basket, and pulling a pillow and patting the bed, “you can sit here.”

“very comfortable,” you comment when you lower yourself onto the bed, and terushima grins at you, “you’re very welcome, only the best for my queen.”

“that’s gross,” you grimace, “and i’m not your queen.”

“of course, ma’am!” he laughs, saluting to you, “ you can scroll through netflix and choose whatever you want to watch. i’m going to get a drink. you want the one that you always get from the vending machine?”

you nod, smiling at him, “yeah, thank you.”

“no problem,” he winks at you, and even though your heart beats a little too fast at that, you stick out your tongue at him and pretend to vomit.

you settle on a studio ghibli movie, and set it to play as you look around the room.

the room was really like terushima.

random posters were pasted everywhere, clothes were strewn on one side of the room, his study table was messy as hell, and no one would’ve guessed that he was one of the top students in the school, but you know that all the assessment books stacked up on the table amount to it.

“i’m back! oh, we’re watching this? cool,” terushima grins at you and passes you the drink, before settling down beside you and resting his head comfortably on your shoulders.

you try to ignore the way your cheeks burn when he does that.

-

“i need to go to the toilet,” terushima announces, standing up to stretch after a while, “i need to shit.”

you scrunch your nose, “gross.”

terushima grins, and flicks your forehead lightly, “be right back!”

you pause the movie when he leaves, and stand up to stretch as well.

when you eye his study table, you wrinkle your nose again.

“i’m packing your study table!” you yell, and you hear terushima muffled “ok!”, and you smile.

you laugh when you see the doodles of the volleyball team on his math textbook, and you snort when you see how he drew your chemistry teacher on a random post-it pad. you’re almost done sorting out the books when something falls out of the biology journal.

you blink when you read what it says.

steps to get (Y/N) to like me / date me:

win her heart with my jokes (search for funny jokes online)

pickup lines? nevermind they don’t actually work i tried it once and (Y/N) laughed at me. it was a pity laugh. not funny. never trying that again.

help her carry things! (okay she smacked me for helping her carry her clipboard but thanked me and smiled at me for helping her carry the waterbottles. so there are certain things i can carry and certain things i cannot.)

tell her she’s beautiful! (she really is!!!! her smile is the prettiest i’ve ever seen and her laugh is the cutest and she’s just so nice to everyone fuck i like her so much)

ask her out? then admit my feelings to her? (i asked her out for lunch and she said sure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but i chickened out and i didn’t confess in the end. i’m such a loser fml)

FIND A WAY TO GET OUT OF THE FRIENDZONE!!! (search how to get out of the friendzone online)

just tell (Y/N) i like her alot, that i’ve liked her for a very long time. she’s just so nice and pretty and i think i love her. (and then she’ll slap me and reject me and hate me for life.)

think of more ideas!!!!!!!!

“hey! i’m back--”

you turn to look at terushima, who falls silent when he sees the note in your hands.

“fuck,” he swears, “okay, you weren’t supposed to see that. can we pretend you didn’t see that? but that probably made you uncomfortable. did that make you uncomfortable? do you hate me? it’s okay if you want to slap me. it’s really okay. do you hate me now? i understand if you hate me, it’s okay if you don’t want to speak to me ever again--”

“terushima,” you say, and he quietens instantly, “sorry, (Y/N).”

“is this true?” you bring up the note in your hands and wave it, and he winces and nods.

“you like me? why?” you ask, and you’re so confused, and terushima instantly straightens up and stares at you.

“what do you mean why?” he asks, sounding offended, “why would i not like you?”

“because i’m...this,” you gesture to yourself, and terushima narrows his eyes.

“what do you mean? (Y/N) you’re literally the sweetest person i know. you always offer to help other people even when you have things to do. you always check on everyone in the team to make sure they’re okay after practice. you always try your best to be nice to other people even when they talk shit about you. you’re literally so sweet, and you’re so pretty, and you’re this amazing person. what do you mean this? why would anyone not like you?” terushima says, and he frowns at you.

“oh,” you say, and terushima turns away from you and exhales out a deep breath.

“it’s okay if you don’t like me back, (Y/N), i just hope i didn’t destroy our friendship,” he finally says after a short pause, and you blink.

“no!” you exclaim, and terushima looks up, “no, yuuji—i like you too.”

terushima lets out a noise of surprise, “are you serious?”

“yeah,” you say, and a smile breaks out on his face immediately, and he runs forward to pull you into a hug.

“can i kiss you?” he asks, and you laugh, “why are you even asking? just do it.”

“i’m just making sure,” he says, and you laugh again, before leaning in to meet his lips.

-

“by the way, yuuji?” you say, while his head is resting on your shoulders and your fingers are laced with his.

“hmm?”

“i’m keeping the note.”

“why?” he looks at you, affronted, “is that for future blackmail purposes?”

you laugh, “that, and it’s cute.”

terushima pouts, “i don’t like you anymore.”

“you’re lying.”

“i’m lying,” he agrees, and grins at you as he presses a kiss to your cheek.

back to my fluffvember masterlist!

general taglist :)

send an ask to be added in :D

@mrs-kuroojinguji @galacticstxrdust @h0rny-m3ss @strawberriimilkshake @lexysclubhouse @alluringeternity @newfriendjen @aam1na @simpinghrs @boosyboo9206 @earl-mint-tea @sachirou-senpai @kuboyasuuu @cotton-hashira @kellesvt @mochipk @ohbois-biggay-bnha @deadontheinsidebut @atsumubabe @wisepandaslimeland @doodleniella @tttournesolll @millie-mint @the-moons-raes @chaosamu @flairlust @l3v1achan @bellesowl @wheeshllumi @karasimpno @sodasketches @dai-tsukki-desu @isentsworld @lavearchives

fluffvember taglist:

send an ask if you only want to be added to this instead of the general taglist!

@omigogames @unicorngluttony @thesecondapplepienation @tsukisemi @tamaguchi @omibaby @psycopath-satan @shibayamasbae @churochuu @crazyrichashea @let-me-have-my-own-name @fo-love @heykoutarou @lovelyrynn @neomuxuxi @haikyuuhopes @bluntkingkuroo @abswrites @ne-kuroo @yadane-bakabaka @song-of-storms162 @lady-snavely @hawksnumberoneuwu @rkives-keiji @llamakenma @mrslordexplosionmurder

i’ll tag those that i couldn’t tag later! this is a scheduled post.

[meowmeowmessi]

Loool that Simp cass tag. But you were right tho, after that dean can’t reciprocate scene, all shit cas made sam go thru made him look like a jealous bitch. And it makes so much sense now too which is funny cox when i watched the episode where cass didn’t answer any of Sam’s text i was wondering why. Like Dean was the one he was fighting with.. why not answer Sam’s texts.. and after 15x18 i hmm bitch was just jealous. He even said to dean “you & Sam have each other.” Jealous!Cas is canon y’all.

I honestly hate how much I've been thinking about simp Cass ever since 15×18  aired afjklafjsjlgjskafjkl like??? This isn't even the first time Dean and Cass had a fight after which Sam left Cass texts and Cass didn't answer??? But what happened in s15 is ten times funnier bc Dean was actually PISSED on Sam's behalf that Cass wasn't responding to his texts bc "How dare you not reply to Sammy's texts and make him sad?" There's so much jealous bitch Cass stuff to be found in s15 alone but the rest of the show has a lot to offer as well. Cass saying yes to Lucifer? Totally a ploy to get back at Sam. Cass leaving Sam in the cave to die in s13 and telling Dean he can't be saved? WELL. Simp Cass in Beat The Devil be like:

Cass: Sam is dead!!!! Now NOTHING can get in the way of me and Jack and Dean being a happy family!!!

Dean: *literally won't talk to anyone, not even his own mother, the one he came to this hell hole for in the first place, is adamant on getting back to Sam no matter what, vampires be damned*

Jack: WHERE'S SAM??? HE'S NOT DEAD HE CAN'T BE DEAD WHY DIDN'T YOU BRING HIM BACK?!?!? *shoves Cass' hand off of his shoulder*

Cass: Like father like son fml 

Also Sacrifice is pretty hilarious too if you look at it through simp Cass lens: 

Sam: *is going to die if he finishes the third trial*

Cass: What an excellent opportunity to drag Dean away from Sam just as he's beginning the third trial so that he can FINALLY die already and I can have all of Dean's love 

And then he takes Dean away to that bar or whatever where the cupid hooks up the two dudes and Cass is all *wink wink* *nudge nudge* @ Dean while Dean is like "So when can I go back to Sammy"

And then Naomi tells Dean that Sam will die if he finishes the trials and Cass is mentally going "NOOOOOOOOO" as he watches Dean's face take on that age old "SAMMY IS IN DANGER NOTHING ELSE MATTERS NOW" look.

Cass: She's lying!!!!!!!! Sam will be tOtALLy fine!!!!!

Dean: idgaf tAKE ME TO SAM  N O W

Cass, having s4 finale flashbacks: Oh my Father not this again 

And then there's the fact that he lied about not knowing that Sam's soul is missing even though he KNEW Sam was soulless the MINUTE he pulled him out......... Guess he thought if he brought back a soulless version of Sam and lied about it then Dean would think he's lost his baby brother forever and he could slide riiiigghht in to take Sam's place but NOPE. Dean's now just pining for his puppy eyed empath of a brother. Absence makes the heart grow fonder amirite. And THEN Dean finds out Sam's soul is missing so Cass is like "U should leave it in the cage bc uh... UHHHHH..... *checks notes* Sam might die if he gets his soul back..... even though if he does he'll go straight to heaven which is oBviOusLy worse than being tortured by two furious archangels in the cage. Yep. That makes sense." *nailed it*

Dean: *kills himself and bargains with Death to get Sam's soul back and makes Death put up a wall in Sam's head to protect him from his hell memories*

Cass: Guess I gotta do this the hard way then *breaks Sam's wall*

Dean to Death later on: KILL HIM *pointing at Cass*

Cass:

Also imagine if all those times Cass accidentally held his fake FBI badge upside down and Dean fixed it for him was not so ~accidental~ bc he knows Dean doesn't like being close to him so that's the only way he can get SOME skin on skin contact with him......... like.............

Cass: *holds his fake badge upside down*

Dean: *fixes it for him and their fingers brush for .000002 seconds*

Cass, mentally:

Cass in Sam's room pretending to watch Netflix when in reality he's trying hard to drown out Sam's moans and Dean's grunts as Dean fucks his baby bro in Dean's room like:

(my friend suggested this Fall Out Boy song to me for simp Cass and I hate how well this bit fits skjsksjskjskskj) 

Also Cass hugging Dean in the s11 finale and Dean just giving him a bro pat while with Sam Dean YANKS him into an embrace and folds his arms over him and holds him close, letting Sam curl his hands into his jacket and bury his face in his shoulder while flower petals float in the air around them must have made Cass seethe with rage lmao

Purgatory must have been fun. Benny probably let Dean talk his ear off about Sam bc he was ACTUALLY a good bro and Dean's REAL best friend and he realized that Sam meant a lot to Dean so he let Dean have this sliver of happiness while Cass just felt like dying in the back lmfao 

wym I think about simp Cass too much 

[bookworm555]

It is really hard to draw two characters interacting in an emotional way X’DD (Also FML, Loki looks too young here, but I tried)

Buuut, after the absolute emotional rollercoaster that was Ep. 4, I had to draw something for these two skjdfhsf

I absolutely love Loki’s and Sylvie’s interactions, and I am so interested to see where their relationship goes. (I don’t care if it stays platonic, or ventures into romance; either option would be great.)

Though, of course, I happen to like the ship that gets hated on a lot X’D. Oh well -shrug emoji-

Normally I don’t draw shippy/ship-adjacent art until after a series ends, but I see Sylki getting a lot of hate, so I wanted to add some positivity to the tag. 

(Also, come on...there have been way more ‘problematic’ -rolls eyes- ships with Loki that have been popular for years, and have oversaturated the fandom. Like, at least Sylvie and Loki aren’t related, and weren’t raised together?? And like...it’s not like Loki is interested in an identical clone of himself? Sylvie is Sylvie? We don’t even know if she’s even another world’s Loki yet. [Her background has been mysteriously vague. All we know is that she’s adopted, I guess had a decent relationship with her parents until the TVA kidnapped her as a child, and that she’s from an alternate dimension’s Asgard.] And even if she was another world’s Loki...she’s still so fundamentally different than Loki that it doesn’t even feel like self-shipping, to me. Idk. But this isn’t ‘Game of Thrones Lannister shit’ like people are saying. Come on :/ )

And before I get ‘aha, you’re homophobic’ because I don’t ship the most popular m/m ship for this show romantically, like...I also ship Loki with Tony, Bucky, or Steve. Hell, sometimes even Bruce. I don’t care about gender for ships; I care more about what character dynamics interest me. (As for women, I ship Loki with Natasha, Jane, Nebula, or Darcy) -Shrug emoji- (Also...as much as I do like the friendship growing between Mobius and Loki, he’s emotionally broken down Loki twice in the span of four episodes. I love their interactions, but like...at the moment, I can’t get past that aspect to actually ship them romantically. Maybe it’s just me? I guess I’m just not seeing what the shippers see?)

Then again, I am probably one of the only ones who finds the Grandmaster/Loki ship pretty creepy/unsettling rather than funny, so it could be just me being really particular with my shipping preferences, at least for Loki. -shrug-

Also...the casual biphobia I see towards these characters makes me uncomfortable. (Like...so Loki and Sylvie are only ‘valid’ bi characters if they’re in relationships with characters of the same gender? Yikes :/ )

[sendhelpiloveyeonjun]

payback - bang chan

this was a request from the list of prompts and it was really fun to make these all fit together. i realized while i was writing it that i haven’t written anything with actual sex in forever so sorry if it’s not like nasty nasty and up to your standards </3

 bang chan x female reader

genre: smut? friendship? idk lol

word count: 1056

 i can’t believe i convinced this 22-year-old man to beg on his knees for me. it was a joke, but bang chan took me seriously and i’ve never been more uncomfortable—but also sort of…aroused?

“bang chan”, i smacked his arm, tugging on it in attempt to get him off of the floor, “you look so ridiculous! get up!” i could see the smirk on his face even though his head was facing the ground, he was enjoying this.

“please let me fuck you, y/n”, he looked up at me, a full pout going on, “i need to fuck you right now!”

i looked around, waving my hands at everyone who had gathered to watch, “he’s just kidding! this is all a joke!” he grabbed my hands and i glared down at him, “come on, y/n. i promise i’ll even last longer than 15 seconds this time!”

girls started to giggle and i could hear the whispers getting louder. this is so embarrassing i could die. i snatched my hands away from his, crossing my arms over my chest. tears welled up in my eyes as he stood, smirking down at me, “you’re so fucking pathetic, it’s almost funny”.

i gasped and smacked his chest, “this isn’t funny at all! you’re embarrassing me! worst friend i’ve ever had”. i tried to walk away, but he pulled me back, “aw, lighten up! it’s a joke, no one really cares”. i rolled my eyes and scoffed, “every single person in this stupid mall saw you begging to fuck me on the floor! they’re going to post this online and then everyone will be talking about us!”

“but there is no us”, he muttered, shrugging it off, “if you’re really worried about what they’ll say, then let’s give them something to talk about”. his arms slid around my waist and i gasped as our lips touched. is he kissing me?!

i pushed him off but he was quick to pull me back again, his lips moving against mine this time. damn… as soon as i started kissing back, he abruptly stopped, winking at me and walking off toward the entrance we came in. WHAT?!

“bang chan!” i chased after him, ignoring all of the people talking about us. i can’t believe he’s so calm about having a freaking audience.

“hey!” i finally caught up, pulling on his arm, but he didn’t stop walking. “where are you going, chan?”

“hurry up”, he took my hand and dragged me all the way to the car, ignoring how hard i was trying to pull in the opposite direction. he’s a little too big for me to win this one. he got in the car, still ignoring me, so i got in and threw my hands up, “what’s the problem?!”

he sighed and locked the door, looking at me with a weird look in his eyes. is he… “your lips are so pretty”, his gaze shifted down to my mouth and i felt my cheeks heating up, “i just can’t wait to see how they’ll look wrapped around my cock”.

my breath caught in my throat, my eyes darting away from his as he looked up. “you…you want to see that?” he turned my face toward his and i almost forgot where we were. he’s so cute.

“haven’t you ever thought about it? thought about sleeping together?” i’d be lying if i said i hadn’t. bang chan is ridiculously hot and that Australian accent would make any girl melt. but here? in his car that’s parked in front of the mall?

i nodded, realizing i hadn’t answered him, and he took that as a cue to kiss me again. i took a deep breath and reached over to his pants, unhooking his belt to his surprise. “are you sure?” i rolled my eyes, “shut up, chan”.

he was bigger than i expected—no scratch that. he’s as big as i expected. too big. i haven’t done this many times before and i never thought i’d do it to my best friend of 6 years.

here we fucking go.

he leaned his seat back and i got comfortable, stretched across the entire front half of the car. i thought maybe he’d take pity on me, but as i stared as his dick, rubbing it to try and stall, he groaned, “are you just going to stare or are you going to suck me off?”

i held back from spewing insults at him and licked my lips, taking as much as i could to see how much my jaw was going to hurt at the end. ow. fml.

i moved my hand as far up as possible, keeping my focus on the tip. his fingers ran through my hair, pulling gently before he was pushing me down, “don’t be a baby, take more”. i bobbed my head quickly, taking him deeper, but still using my hand to prevent him from choking me.

tears pricked at my eyes as he rammed the back of my throat, his hips pushing up to meet each of my downward movements. “fuck, your mouth feels incredible”, he held my head still, fucking up into my mouth carelessly, “i know what all the hype was about”. my eyes widened before i glared at nothing, hollowing my cheeks and sucking hard to end this quickly. what the hell does he mean ‘hype’?

his groans filled the car and i could feel it getting warmer and wetter—not just the air. “can i cum in your mouth?” i gripped tighter with both hands down, sucking hard and moving quickly as his thighs tensed up. “shit!”

i closed my eyes as his cum spilled out over my tongue. this never tastes good, but i’ve certainly had worse. i sat up and wiped my mouth, swallowing and crossing my arms. “what the hell do you mean hype?”

he was panting, head tilted back as he turned to look at me, “i was joking, stupid”, he half-laughed, closing his eyes, “but it sure made you work even harder”.

i smacked his arm and sat forward, staring at nothing in particular, “you owe me now”. “owe you? owe you what exactly?” i shrugged and smirked to myself, “i suck your dick, you…” i looked at him and he lifted a brow.

“don’t have to ask me twice.”

[dastardlydandelion]

(yet another) fanfic writer ask game, questions 2, 3, and 9?

good evening!

alrighty, let's see.

2) what fic do i wish i got more response on? praefoco, hands down. quality-wise, it's the best thing i've written for this fandom i'm not in. least amnt of typos, most cohesive, my second susan deep-dive, homicide that i wrote with my sensible head and not with my libido. but praefoco is a susan & max fic, and that's not a particularly popular dynamic in this neck of the woods, so it didn't generate much interest.

3) what's a fic idea that i have that's not written yet? um. a lot. there's a lot of those. so many that tbh i get frustrated bc it interferes with focusing on what i've already started. so, let's pick one of those out, which one...oh, okay, here's a lighthearted one: timeline-what-timeline crossover where billy and max attend the 2019 avt in ck s4. so, front row seats to the karate war, complete with associated witness/commentary. also, each one claims they're there for the other, and didn't actually want to go (they both wanted to go). the way i think abt it, it'd be funny, but idk if anyone else would find it funny. and it doesn't make sense, but. does it have to?

9) my favorite lines/scenes? ooh, okay. uh. the first thing that comes to mind is axe masturbation (axeturbation, if u will) so let's try smth less gory. actually, i'm just gonna go factor out murder entirely.

Susan chews on her lower lip and decides she isn’t interested in impressing anyone today. She isn’t interested in advertising the pleasant respectabilities Neil was so concerned with. She isn’t interested in coordinating her appearance to please him as best as she could, even though the compliments would inevitably sour come stressful evenings and the insults would come back behind closed doors, accompanied by those pinches of her flesh between his fingers. The insults would always come back, no matter how much she exercised, how much makeup she masked her pain and fears beneath.

Susan throws on a faded old tee with bleach stains she usually saves for spring cleaning. She tugs the elastic waistband of a fraying pair of purple sweatpants over her hips, previously reserved for Sunday jogs and housework only. She swipes her makeup bag off the dresser and chucks it at the wall like she had the picture she still hasn’t cleaned up, and something crunches when it hits, perhaps a compact mirror or plastic lipstick tube. Glass crunches too, when the weight of the bag drops upon the bed of shards.

She doesn’t fret about styling her hair, simply throws it up in a ponytail to keep it out of her face. When she leaves the bedroom, Susan kicks the door closed behind her and she doesn’t know what it is, exactly, but. She feels better. She has scrubbed herself clean and relieved herself the superficial priorities of a dead-as-a-doornail husband and she feels good. She really does.

this from cetris paribus. bc this was the scene that kept me from scrapping the fic entirely, which i almost did bc...look, idk what i was smoking when i first posted it, but it looked rly fucking ugly. i have no idea why i ever thought it was acceptable for public consumption, wks later, i shaved off a HUGE chunk of it that i'm...not even sure was supposed to be in there? fml, it'd looked like i frankenstein-ed two pieces of a previous wip, and it...ugh, okay, now i'm rambling, BUT. i liked this more uplifting scene and thought it was worth fixing the rest of the fic around.

[having-a-hyperfixate]

The Final Day’‘

This is absolutely going to be long and rambley af so I’mma just put a cut here. This is just one massive post for the entire rest of the game.

Rindo is back in the RG somehow. Which makes less than no sense. What was that crazy beam. Shibuya is GONE there isn’t an RG to send him back to, even if someone did want to send him back?

That beam reminded me of the Jesus beams not gonna lie.

But… Fret. Presumably Nagi and Beat too. They’re. Gone. Poor Rindo… That’s the worst kind of gaslighting. Reality itself is gaslighting this poor kid. ‘Your best friend in the world is gone, so gone that no one remembers him. You don’t even get to mourn properly because there is no one TO mourn.’  I am also not okay.

I assume this random talking to us at Hachiko is the dude I saw a brief glimpse of in a screenshot from the final trailer. Hazuki Mikagi, okay. Everything about this is supremely weird. 

Leading this weirdo around and he asked how we feel about emotions? Um, what?

Was he responsible for that beam of light?

This whole thing is extremely unsettling, I don’t think I like it. The music is all… serene, this guy keeps asking existential questions, who even comes up to some kid clearly having a bad day and demands a tour of the city.

He knows Rindo’s name even though we never told him. Not sure if that was a slip or an intentional nudge that Something is going on but there we go.

‘I should take this chance to apologize for Kubo. He’s a real piece of work.’ WHAT. YOU SEND HIM TO SHINJUKU?!?! IS THIS KID GOD!? WHAT!??!

‘Exorcised’. Like a demon. Which is a psychic rank you can get in the first game, and probably this game, ergo, a thing that exists in this universe.

Okay. So this Hazuki guy is Something Else. I dunno if he’s an Angel or higher or WHAT. He’s something. And he “exorcised” what Fuckwad had Fallen to when he decided not to stop at Shinjuku and continue on to Shibuya. But he only did this after Rindo faught so hard to stop it. And then he gave Rindo what he thought Rindo wanted. And now he’s here trying to understand why Rindo is miserable. Which to us, as humans, is obvious: the people he loved, the connections and family he had made through the game are all gone and worse, no one remembers they ever existed.

And now he’s being offered the chance to try again. This feels like a double edged sword. And I don’t care.

Okay I actually kind of appreciate the thing Hazuki is pulling here. He knows what it is that Rindo wants, I’m pretty sure he’s listening to his thoughts, actually, and in order to make Rindo own up to it he’s arguing the ‘no’ position. Giving Rindo someone to argue against so he can convince himself.

WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAPPEN AT UDAGAWA.

Bruh some of these clips were in the announcement trailer.

(I can’t wait to read the secret reports. That’s gonna be a wild ride.)

Oooooh that’s what ‘exorcised’ means. That is hardcore. He definitely deserved it but that is uh. Slightly inconvenient.

Can we actually contact Rhyme this time PLEASE. Oooh Rindo worked out Kaie is waiting for Rhyme. :O I’M FINALLY GONNA GET MY MASSIVE COUNTER OFFENSIVE FUCK YES. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I’M PUMPED LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOO!!!!

Who’s gonna protect them. Beat. Really. Just give them the damn pins at this point. They both know their ways around a fight and Kaie might need the backup. If we lose, we’re all toast regardless, and if we win everyone gets put back where they belong.

AAAAAAAAAAAH SHE’S HERE!!! RHYME!!!! Aw… She can’t see Neku and Shoka cuz they’re actually dead. That’s really depressing. Makes sense but like. Oof. Especially for Neku.

I love that Rhyme still has a saying for everything.

This timeline is going to be a mess by the time I get everything positioned correctly lmao

Beat’s ‘How do you know about my sister?! Right, future.’ is never going to NOT be funny. It’s very refreshing to have a time travel plot where people just listen when he tells them shit needs to happen.

Is it acutaly Shiki time ohh my god. I might cry. Please tell me she has a face now. If her face is still illegal I will actually scream.

I’m offended. We didn’t get to go see Shiki. The betrayal. OH but now we might be? Stop playing with me, game. GIVE. ME. SHIKI.

Rindo was freaking out that we weren’t gonna be able to get rid of all the Noise around the café and I definitely threw my hands up and yelled when I saw the word ‘zeptogram’. And I read it before he said it, cuz I read v. fast. Nice to see you again, idiot. Please don’t go berserk again.

I am. Very impressed that Minamimoto managed to work out where the Dissonance Noise are coming from, down to the exact energy source that creates them. He nailed it. Well done sir.

I think… he’s proposing we awaken the city and use the energy generated by the thoughts and emotions of the living people to neutralize some of the Dissonance Noise that are waiting in the pin. Erode some of its power.

“How about this: I’ll talk, you type.” Lmao.

I got denied Shiki again. Part of me is annoyed. The other part of me is like ‘are they saving her entrance for when she can see Neku again properly because I can live with that’.

OH the Hishima cutscene is voiced now OKAY. Guess that means this is the one. Rhyme is voiced too. This is gonna be it.

And she speaks Minamioto. Coo.

Huh. Neku’s power is to sync with people. Which he learned to do in the first game. From Mr H, with the harmonizer pin. (Twister is playing and I have Emotions help) And now he’s gonna do it on an absolutely MASSIVE scale. This is insane. I am 1,000% here for it. Sync, Dive, Remind. And if I had to guess, we’re doing this atop 104.

Alright Shiba. ‘Mere. Tsugumi’s eyes aren’t all freaky anymore yay. Oh snap. He’s gonna unleash the Plague Noise against the Dissonance ones. Nice. Turnabout is fair play. I’m kinda sad Fuckwad isn’t here to witness that.

Alright. Change. Our. Fate.

SHIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKKKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I gave myself a headache ow.

“07734.” “Ew. Hey! Don’t just spout off numbers and walk away, you jerk!” That was amazing.

FUCK ME SIDEWAYS. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. NO. NO WAY. I DIDN’T THINK THERE WAS ANY WAY. OH. MY. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. This is the first time Neku’s seen him since Joshua failed to stop Coco from killing him. I’m. A puddle. Help. Neku looked so happy. My cat is slightly concerned haha.

Neku still holds his hands like he’s got the headphones. The same pose as in the first game when you scan. This gives me all the feels.

“They’re just mindless thoughts” Okay so I’m mentally exhausted at this point and I processed that as ‘thots’ and it was hilarious. BEGONE THOTS.

Okay this thing right here? This is a final boss. And it is cool as fuck. Too bad it’s trying to END ME. So cool. SO. COOL. Here comes phase 2 lol. I died and had to redo it. FML.

That. Was awesome. A worthy successor to the epic final strike of the first game. 999% eh?

I continue to not like Shinjuku rules. Once you’re a Reaper, leaving means you get erased once the game ends? Disrespectfully, fuck that. Oh don’t you dare, Shoka. Don’t. You. Dare.

Oh, Joshua is here. PLEASE. Lmao Shoka’s reaction. I’m sure he appreciates that, the drama queen.

*facepalms* Joshua strikes again. I’ve missed you, you little shit. You are terrible, but I missed you. Rindo, I’m pretty sure she’s fine. I think captain helpful over here reincarnated her for you. Since you saved him and his city. I guess I’ll see though.

Uzuki and Kariya continue to be adorable. I love them. And yeah, good luck calling in that debt from Minamimoto, Coco. Gooooood luck.

I’m having a lot of Joshua centered emotions right now there is too much Joshua all at once help. “I should have known I could trust you.” You are killing me dude. You really, really should have. I’m going to turn that line over in my head for way too long, I just know it, but let’s try to get through this before my brain turns off completely. “Let’s not keep her waiting.” OKAY THANKS I’M GONNA CRY AGAIN.

What Hazuki was saying about ‘purifying’ as opposed to ‘destroying’ Shinjuku makes me think that restarting it in some form was always part of the plan, so hopefully they’ll have luck with that. It’s still profoundly fucked up that any of that happened, and even more so that it was sanctioned. I’m. Going to be hung up on that for a while once it sinks in.

This poor idiot hitting on Rhyme is about to get got oh no XD

Shiki is breaking my heart. Aaaaaaaah!!! Reunioooooon.

Ooof it’s been a month since Rindo saw Shoka. Big oof. Joshuaaaaaa.

And then they almost got hit by a car lmao. OMG HE MISSED HER FRIEND REQUESTS AHAHAHAHAH YOU GOOBER. Neku really should have warned them that Joshua is Like That lol. Even when he’s being helpful it’s in the must backhanded way possible.

I would very much like to know why on earth Shinjuku needed to be obliterated though. Like. Does that… Happen often? Maybe the secret reports say.

Speaking of, time to get those, along with the rest of the trophies.

!!!! The title screen updated, NICE. Can’t let anyone who hasn’t beaten it see that but NICE.

There’s another Another Day. Oh boy. I am not ready for that madness yet.

Random thought as I was moving this from word, where I typed it: I’m really, really fucking glad they didn’t decide to deal with Mr H the way they dealt with sleezy mcfuckwad. That would have been… I don’t have a word.

[parismemes]

SENTENCE STARTERS FROM RED VS. BLUE SEASON 15

“you touch my baked beans, i put dog shit in your pillowcase.” “every other person in this miserable place is literal garbage.” “books on tape? what's the appeal of that? don't the pages get stuck together?” “when in doubt use a confusing acronym. military types love acronyms.” “FML. that stands for fu--” “i’ll bend down and kiss your boots, how’s that?” “i wanna know every step you take and how much shit gets stuck on your shoes and in-between your teeth.” “you know, i think i'll probably move to LA, but that's like what everyone does. i mean, what do you think?” “i’m gonna skin your cat for this.” “i’m actually thinking of adopting a stage name.” “i’m gonna smash cut your empty skull against that rock if you don’t shut the fuck up!” “i wanted to call it desert titties, but that shit was taken.” “ah, there goes the bechdel test.” “you should interview the illuminati!” “real talk here: i'll be your genie in a bottle, i'll do whatever you want, but after i grant you your three wishes, you gotta do something for me, whaddaya say?” “my ceaseless existence is an eternal torment!” “next time he calls you please, just, let it go to voicemail. don't transfer to me. okay?” “i can’t even hear myself think in this blizzard of idiocy!” “did you attempt to witness any other particular individuals in the general vicinity of the area in which the crime scene was alleged?” “i just wanna be included!” “funny, the vultures usually show up after the slaughter.” “you’re a little bit crazy, aren’t you? i like that.” “consequences... don't always take the shape we expect them to, do they? they're funny like that.” “...are we still married?” “people are quick to jump to conclusions. they see something, or hear something, and fit it into a preconceived emotional box.” “please don’t make me regret what i’m about to tell you.” “whoa, hold up--i just realized how much i don’t care.” “SUCK IT, NEWTON!” “we said we wouldn’t talk about that!” “help me be the best at being lazy.” “it was a simple mishap with my vanilla-satin scented candles!” “why is he naked?” “HOW DO YOU BURN DOWN A WATER PARK, ___?!” “we’re definitely not just saying that because she could kill us.” “for far too long our people have been oppressed, crushed, under the weight of ourselves! if we don't start standing up to our mortal foe gravity, by god, who will?” “we’ve never needed intelligence before!” “why doesn’t anybody die and stay dead?” “oh, cool! foreshadowing.” “who wants a poisoned pumpkin frappuccino?” “i quit. i’m not going. i’m staying here.” “you’ve always been selfish, but this is bullshit!” “you know, i liked them better when they were funny.” “it’s a bop-it.” “sleep. means. death!” “i know ___ said we should split up, but i was thinking maybe we split up together, you know, because it's scary!” “you talk about ___ a lot.” “this is a big city. so many places for snakes to hide. they could be everywhere all around us. watching us... licking their snake lips...” “jesus, doesn’t anybody speak esperanto?” “err is not a word.” “why do you look alone?” “why don't you tell us what's going on, and we can decide whether to kill you or not?” “looks like we've got quite the sticky mess on our hands!” “oh, i know all about sausage parties! uh, wait, that came out wrong.” “when I least expect it: whambo! you pry open my mind prison and suck out my brain beans!” “i realize now that i’ve just spilled all my brain beans.” “we're just a bunch of dumb rejects hurling ourselves against impossible odds.” “i’m only saying something because i’ve been used enough times in my life already.” “nice! super awesome of you guys! that was sarcastic.” “don’t care. just help me with my dramatic exit.” “that's a great idea! i was just about to suggest it.” “i always say a marine without a code is like a car without a road.” “i always say the best defense is a really tall fence.” “i always say a good soldier is like a rollin’ boulder.” “i always say a mantra a day keeps death at bay.” “i've grown soft around these uncultured philistines.” “goddamn, i can’t believe i have to hear this shit in stereo now.” “you two look cozy.” “i didn’t realize you two were close.” “you’re being too hard on yourself. you’ve changed over the years, i’ve seen it myself.” “i've grown from being a dishonorable killing machine to an honorable killing machine. that's quite the journey.” “i changed my mind. you are evil.” “you don’t have to destroy the past to have a future.” “strategizing can wait until breakfast, at least.” “i killed them. i MURDERED them. i set my vengeance free upon them and it felt so good!” “are we gonna do some snooping around?” “have you ever considered a life in showbusiness?” “try harder, fuckface!” “can we please just bury the hatchet and focus on what's important?” “your mother’s lasagna is mediocre!” “if you guys had to get shot somewhere in your body, where would you do it?” “i can't hear you because some idiot shot my ear off!” “this whole situation is garbage enough to begin with, but... at least we're in it together.” “no plan survives first contact with the enemy.” “the only thing that would make this better is some music.” “we were pawns in their game. but the thing that I love about chess is that sometimes pawns kill kings.” “no, actually, i was raised by wolves. in the forest.” “sometimes i feel like people barely acknowledge my presence.” “something weird might be going on around here.” “anyone who's acting that squeaky clean must have some deep dark secrets.” “ha! gotcha! that's exactly the kind of things bad guys say!” “they used us, they destroyed our lives, and they haven't been made to pay for what they've done.” “you obviously love the sound of your own voice, so why don't you use it to tell its where the fuck our friends are?” “i’m going to kill you so hard, you’ll wish you were dead.” “we fought alongside each other for fucking years. how can you just turn your backs on us like this?” “you don't get to give orders if you're on the bad guys' side!” “now I have gonorrhea and a dead friend.” “stop. touching. my face.” “buckets! oodles! oodles of noodles and toaster strudels! tiempo de mucho. mucho de tiempo!" “yeah, well, i don't remember you being anything but a huge dick, but here you are being cool, so people change.” “yippee-ki-yay, motherfuckers!” “but.. i never got to say goodbye. or thank you for being my friend.” “i'm gonna need a week at the chiropractor when we get out of here.” “is it possible to hallucinate with your ears?” “i’m not here to kill you.” “uh-oh spaghetti-o’s.” “fuck me! fuck all of this!” “you should totally kill me if it strikes your fancy! no pressure!” “the world's best swordsman doesn't fear the second best. He fears the worst, because he can't predict what the idiot will do.” “i can't imagine us doing anything but making this all worse.” “shit, dude! you’re the best we’ve got!” “i like pushing small children down wells.” “can we please settle on a consistent denomination? are we using cardinal directions or are we using clock positions?” “i'm so sneaky. they don't even know what's happening. you can't even see me right now, ___. you're so confused.” “shut up and help me punch this fucking tank!” “as far as days to die go, it's a little overcast. so let's check our corners and make these bastards pay!” “let's light the fires and kick the tires!” “let’s dance with these monkeys and give ‘em what for!” “let's put the pedal to the metal and the rubber to the road!” “let’s get jiggy with it!” “let’s shoot this monkey full of heroin and put it on youtube! actually, let's not do that, it sounds completely horrible.” “let’s teach these midgets how to tango!” “honor, schmonor.” “scout's honor! except I was never a scout because I'm afraid of badges.” “why are we here?” “we don't know why we're here. it's still one of life's great mysteries, isn't it?” “i’m sorry i tried to kill you, it wasn’t personal!” “you'll be stuck between a rock and the frying pan.” “if i said that i would weep for them, would it make you feel any better?” “best friends should be able to say goodbye.” “i think you are cool. like, super awesome, amazing, cool and... i, i always felt like really awesome too, when we were hanging out together.” “i know with my other friends--who, even if you add them all up together aren't really cool as you--i know we're all gonna be okay.” “if you kill me, you'll just perpetuate this never-ending cycle of revenge and retaliation!” “he asked us to deliver an important message to you all. but then he just sang the ducktales theme song and fell back to sleep.” “you know i’ll never forget this, right? i mean, PTSD is forever, isn’t it?” “it’s not the sum of your parts that makes you who you are.” “these people have shown me that real heroes are not born, they're forged. a friend told me once that there's no fate but what you make. and i think he's right.” “alright, well, i'm just gonna try to forget that ever happened and never bring it up again.”

[one-abuse-survivor]

hiya, it's me, the milky way

i just read your last response, bc tumblr seems to have eaten the notif, or it got lost when switching phones (yep, i finally got a new phone :D) thanks so much for the reassuring words; even tho i know my mom is just spewing bs, it's hard to solidly believe that, so thanks for confirming that.

a few days ago i talked to my dad (he was even less helpful than my mom) and he's basically putting all of my issues on "puberty" and "hormones" so i obviously asked how to do it better anyway and he said something along the lines of "you'll grow out of it" or "you'll just have to wait it out" so i was like "ok, sure" but he still expects me to do better right now,which just doesn't make sense. it sucks a lot to have my dad constantly blaming everything on puberty and hormones and expecting me to be better right now even though there is nothing i can do against puberty and hormones.

also there's this thing where my dad makes lots and lots of comments and jokes on other peoples costs and most of them aren't even funny and both me and my mom tell him to stop but he still doesn't. also he often calls me nicknames or pet names and i hate it but he doesn't stop even if i tell him to (he usually just laughs it off) and i though about just straight up telling him how much it hurts everytime he does it but i haven't yet gotten to do that.

another thing that just happened today was that my brother broke up with his gf and my parents were like "we saw that coming" and when i asked them how/why, they said something about having noticed changes in my brother's mood and behavior and like, that hurt because for some reason they can pick apart every little change in my brother but my issues just don't exist. i really feel like my parents aren't just subconsciously avoiding my problems but more purposefully ignoring them. and that just fills me with an entire wildfire of rage and anger towards them

yeah, anyways, thanks for making the tumblr search be able to find all the posts, thanks for doing what you do, i hope you're having a great summer so far. for me it's been rain for the most part.

:)

it's the milky way :)

nothing really changed since the last ask i sent (i believe i sent another one at some point but it might've gotten eaten by tumblr)

but school started again this week and i hate it so so much, there's just so many people everywhere and our timetable is not very well thought out and annoying (lots and lots of walking between classes, even in the short breaks)

i like to think i'm coping well because i have not yet missed any homework and i think my sleep schedule isn't as bad as last year (around 7.5 hours of sleep per night) but i had nightmares in the last 3 nights which kinda ruined them, which makes it so i actually enjoy getting less sleep without nightmares over this.

i also found out that my brother has a therapist (kinda? idk exactly how it works but there is someone getting paid to help him through stuff) and he takes ritalin because he often can't concentrate. so i've come to the conclusion that apparently his struggles are real and he's getting helped while my struggles are not real and i should deal with my shit alone because i've got good grades.

fml i guess

also i'm terrified of relapsing and this year going as sour as last year so there's that

and i got my mom to admit that going to a family counselor would definitely not be a bad idea altho she hasn't done anything about it

hope your day is going great :D

also ps: did you get my last ask or was that really just tumblr eating it?

Hi again!

You're welcome for the reassuring words! I hope you got to enjoy the sun this summer in the end. I've been in a less-than-great mental space all summer, but at least I got to go to the beach often, haha. Also, I'm glad you have a phone again :D

You're right that what your dad says doesn't make any sense—he can't simultaneously tell you you have to grow out of your current struggles because they're all due to teenage hormones and that you should be able to change at will from one second to the next. Yeah, hormones do have a big impact on our emotions, but that doesn't mean your parents shouldn't be helping you navigate your current struggles. The way you feel right now is important to you right now, and that should be reason enough for them to take you seriously. They should be using this opportunity to teach you how to best take care of yourself and to help you solve problems that could still affect you in the future otherwise. Instead, they're choosing to neglect your needs and blame you for struggling with things they can't bother to help you manage.

I think you have every right to be angry that they noticed the changes in your brother's mood and that he's getting proper help while you're being ignored and gaslit about your issues. What they're doing to you is unfair and neglectful and abusive, and you deserve so, so much better than this.

Sorry to hear school has been so overwhelming and you've been having nightmares :( getting a good night's sleep can make all the difference in how you handle everything that goes in in your life, and it really sucks when nightmares interfere with your sleep like that. I hope they get better when you settle into the school routine!

I also really hope your mom goes through with the family counselor idea, and that things go well if she does. And if you talk to your dad about how his nicknames make you feel, I hope that goes well too!

Please know it's not your fault if you do end up relapsing this year. Let's hope it doesn't come to that, but if it does, please be gentle with yourself. You're going through a lot right now. It's okay to not be able to handle it all without help, and while your parents ignore, blame and gaslight you. You're doing the best you can given the circumstances, and you deserve to give yourself all the credit for that.

Sending all my support your way ❤️

[the-blackest-spider]

Me yesterday: this isn’t so bad, my arm barely even hurts, not tired, nothing. 

Me today: FML

Yeah it’s my right arm, but it hurts and I wanna keep ice on it as often as I can, so I’m lurking in stealth mode, but not gonna really be here tonight. I have a funny feeling the 2nd shot is not gonna be fun times. Worth it tho.