#this is why we all have anxiety
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hey guys? if we're speed running the 20th century we should all be really worried right about now
#titanic#titan submarine#russia#pandemic#stock market#this is why we all have anxiety#the world wars guys
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I genuinely love not having a crush like I’m not over here feeling physically sick over some mid guy being dry to me I’m literally chilling
#Spring semester of last year was so bad bc I was unironically into 3 guys at once and they were all#Being dry and cryptic to me#And then before that in 2022 I had my horrid situationship#I had a mini obsession arc in dec 2023 over someone but now there hasn’t been anyone since#And my palette is so cleansed#When a girl is like I miss having a crush I’m like you’re literally a masochist#There was very briefly a girl I thought I had a crush on when I realized I’m bicurious but#I haven’t put effort into talking to her bc the idea of pursuing anyone makes me wanna claw my eyes out#I’m pretty sure I ghosted her by like just not responding to her last messsge actually#Not on purpose but more so bc I realized I was feeling the same anxiety I felt whenever I had a crush so I was like#Yeah I’m dropping this for now#I’m also always the most present for my friends when I don’t have a crush so idk#Like I don’t wanna be consumed by anyone I just wanna chill#The solution to not having normal attraction to people is just to not be attracted to anyone at all#I fr cracked it#I always just crave the butterflies out of it and never an actual relationship anyway#But they’re so not worth it#Which is why I always get bored of guys who’re forthright like oh ok you actually WANT something…. U don’t wanna just have fun#Not for me#I think the guys I’m into and I typically diverge in the sense that neither of us wants a relationship but they just wanna fuck me#And I more so just want the butterflies experience / to playact couple for like a couple months but nothing too serious#Which is why it never works#Like it’s not that it doesn’t work bc either of us wants a relationship it’s more that what we want out of the situationship is different#So lame#Ok this was a lot but I literally came to this epiphany while writing these tags
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(OC Lore and design time!)
(it got longer again ... sorry ... idk how to make things short, i just need to talk, but i guess if you can read the written stuff in the pic thats the barest bare bones of what i wrote here)
i was asked what new lore story stuff i had thought about that made me sad which i mentioned a bit ago, and while that is too hard to explain given all the missing context i thought i could at least talk about lore having to do with it :D
so, (Lord) Eadrya is one of my fav OCs (big blue lad, here a rough sketch in humanoid form) they are both one of if not THE most powerful demon alive and the most battle trained;
at the mid point of the story the demon world gets invaded by the celestials (the angel inspired things i talked about in the previous lore post with Xaror) and Shargon, as the king, should be their first and only frontline, but at this point his life is only being sustained by maschinery after being mortally wounded, he cannot fight (he realizes what is going on, rips himself off the maschinery to get at least his youngest child to safety, barely managing it before dying- the guardian, the demons god, takes over his body to attempt to fight against the celestials but cant keep itself alive long enough since its host is already dead) Eadrya takes the role of the frontline fighter (despite being very full of themselves and aggressive they care about their 'job' of protecting their own, also giving them the chance to show off just how strong they are); the fight was going well for them all things considered, but when the guardian activates it drains the power of all elemental lords (which Eadrya is one of, and since they have the most strength it also takes the most from them), so much so that they lose the fight and suffer deadly wounds (the worst being a spear through the chest made of a material that grows hard, root-like formations when in contact with demonic blood like a fungus but worse, also stopping any self healing processes) after the guardian falls apart it creates a huge shockwave of energy that stuns every living thing within a certain distance and possibly more-
Eadrya (in true demon form, so like a blue whale in size at least) was likely taken through an active gateway to the human world in a large tidal wave also created by the guardians fall; they wash up in the harbor of a small secluded village, the head of which is 'lady 13'; although never having seen a demon before and everyone being afraid (largely thinking its a strange hurt animal, only she suspected otherwise), they still gather all villagers to pull out the celestial spear, which is diffcult and brutal given that its already taken root, but the village lacked both knowledge and means to help any other way- doing so damaged their heart which is how they were able to collect samples of all three demonic blood types ('normal' -red like humans-, energy -essentially purely magic- and heartblood -highly concentrated energy only found within the heart of a demon and the only one to contain genetic material) (this is the start of Eadryas character arc, having to deal with the fact that their world is likely destroyed, them failing what they didnt think they could fail, having lost a battle so badly (even if not really their fault) for the first time and not knowing if literally anyone else has survived .. also being now stuck in the human world, which they dont like)
Lady 13 (placeholder name? stands for experiment 13) is a human that was tricked by demon hunters to enroll into a series of experiments trying to create hybrids of demons and humans, which they hoped would be powerful and easily controllable tools for their endeavours, though the two are inherently not compatible, they tried grafting body parts of demons on humans to make them compatible- all experiments failed except for her, more or less, though she never got to see the hybrid she carried and was then told it had died too, they threw her out believing she wouldnt survive much longer either and all such experiments were cancelled due to the high cost of human life, research material (demons are still rare) and upkeep with no successful results Lady 13 survived though (perhaps even via the pirates picking her up?) and she ended up living in said small village far away, hiding her half demonic body, though most know there soemthing 'wrong' with her (her being this tall when it doesnt fit the rest for one), only few know the full extent; she enjoys the life she has now, perhaps on the more poor side but safer and more loved than ever before; she largely lead the efforts to try and help Eadrya when they ended up in the harbor, though there wasnt that much anyone could do it was still enough- they leave immediately after waking up, but return after really having nowhere to go and struggling to deal with everything that has happened; over time (probably years) they start to open up towards the people there (though not .. very much) enough to get rather close with Lady 13 too- she actually falls madly in love but after Eadrya (extremely aro/ace) rejects all her attempts quite clearly she respects their boundaries
However, after hearing news of potential demon sightings Eadrya decides to leave in hopes of not being the last demon left after all; Lady 13 then decides to reveal her secret to them (though hearing and seeing what lengths hunters would go to for their experiments makes them absolutely seething with rage- she insists on not being out for revenge) and asks if they would be willing to donate a small amount of heartblood; shes always wanted to be a mother but is now incompatible with humans too- through things she picked up back at the experiments facillity, hers and her doctors research she is sure that is all that is needed, she dares to ask since she does not know when, if ever, she will meet another demon, much less one she could actually trust enough for this though Eadrya hesitates (why would she want to go through the same thing again that didnt work and threatened her life, if it does work, do they want to be involved with any of this? what if hunters find out it worked after all?) but after her ensuring that they would have no part in it other than giving up a little blood and would not be considered a parent in any way, nor made responsible for anything that might happen to her, but considering it all in the end they agree to it
only for her to reveal shes had a small bottle of it already, along with multiple samples of the other types, which she collected when Eadrya was bleeding out into the harbor not knowing if they will survive, though not wanting to make use of it without their consent either way (they are actuallly rather touched by this)
alot later the main group returns here and it turns out to have worked (though she is unable to walk/bedridden for a long while bc it did alot of damage to her body, which can heal since its demons parts, but only really slowly bc she does not have a full functioning system and no demonic blood of her own -she uses the other samples for the healing process-) though its a little awkward to explain, especially considering that 13.1 took alot after Eadrya xD (their theory as to why it worked so "well" that time is that even though the sample was already taken, them giving their consent for it still made it less likely to be rejected; demons dont need partners to have offspring, and all can do it, they just have to decide to- so them agreeing to it, even though its long been outside their body, still had an effect on the blood sample)
#ganondoodles#art#ocs#original art#oc lore#demons#monsters#WHY does writing things liek this take me so long#i spent two hours again on this and im falling asleep as we speak bc its almost 2 am#ANYWAY this was alot again ... sorry#but its a relatively new storyline that i have been afraid of telling#since it touches on things im afraid might come across wrong and uses themes im a lil uncomfy with#but i found it interesting ... and works well with eadrya as a character bc it challenges alot about them#yes im wrote and mean this genuinely#i would have made the cut from her human body to the demon parts more smooth ... but this hard cut is the point#so that she looks rather normal on the upper part and can hide the rest#thoguh im unsure about the color scheme and if maybe i should be more creative with the demons parts#then again its largely just legs lol#if anyone actually reads this ........ i hope it comes across correctly#i like to use darker and more mature themes but am riddled with anxiety over how it will be understood#im gonna work on zelda comic stuff again now .. sorry for all the oc spam#but if there are questions PLEASE feel free to ask im pretty sure i have answers to almosst anything?#also i havent thought of a name for her or the kid .. though im starting to like lady 13#13.1 wont do as a name though poor kid deserves a proper name after already being a weird hybrid that shouldnt exist#either way ... going to bed now GOODNIGHT q-q#(any typos are excused by me being deadly tired ok)
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Maybe you need to sleep longer and deeper, so you can see more details of your dream. You're the one who told me that this dream isn't like the others.
—I SAW YOU IN MY DREAM · Episode 11
#i saw you in my dream#i saw you in my dream the series#ryu ingkarat#putter phubase#yu x ai#isyimdedit#thai bl#thai drama#bl drama#bl series#my edits.#i had to gif this to get the heartbreak out of my system#what the hell kind of plan was that ing??#i was half sure ai would end up in hospital#but we still have one more ep to go#in which ai can prove how little he thinks of his own self :))))))#i'm in this series and i don't like it#OH AND ALSO#the thing is#yu in ai's dream was hurt yes but he wasn't dead#he was going to be fine#regardless of ai shouldering all the bad karma#but ai's dreams are filled with anxiety and fear of abandonment#and i still don't think fate is why they keep getting worse
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ITS FAGGOT FRIDAY EVERYONE IM GONNA TRY AND TALK TO THE PRETTY GIRL WHEN CLASS IS OVER
#I MAY HAVE FUVKED IT BY IFK DOING SMTH IDK HOW TO WORD IT BUT I EMBARRASSED MYSELF KINDA#SHE KINDA WAVED AT ME??#Why am I talking with all caps it’s like Fine bro#idk IDK I’m nervous but I have 30 grams of anxiety meds (twice as much as I’m supposed to) (as we know) in me so I Should be fine
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Kaeya had always been an efficient and hard-working individual (he had to be to support Diluc in the background as his brother rose thru the ranks after all).
He has so much free time because he completes all his work way ahead of schedule. And if he still has enough time, he adds more to the workload in secret.
And once all of that was done and over with, he makes time for everyone. He has to. He feels as if every moment has to be given to someone else.
No one knows how he does it. No one has to know.
Every mission has a dozen strategies in line, and every battle plan is made with efficiency in mind. His perfect record will not be tarnished. He can't risk it (even if it baffles others that he would willingly activate a ruin guard just to prevent a failed mission. Jean disagrees with his methods, but Kaeya can say that the results say otherwise)
He needs to be quick.
Efficient.
Perfect.
And so he comes and goes like the wind.
Kaeya values time because he knew every second counted. He can't just stand there as if he were frozen. Time could run out in an instant.
Kaeya had only been late once his entire life.
He'd rather he never be late ever again.
It took one day of being of being imperfect for everything to fall apart. On that tragic day...had he gotten there on time... then maybe...
.
.
.
" Come on, let's get moving, traveler. We're not frozen in place after all. " Kaeya teasingly says. He stiffles a giggle at the traveler's exhasperated sigh.
"Yeah yeah, we've heard enough of you calling us a slacker. Can't you be a bit more patient?" Paimon whines at him.
Kaeya snorts, but acquiesces, hiding the shaking of his hands at the thought of being idle.
He imagines hearing a clock ticking.
Kaeya knows that that is his own problem. He tries his hardest to relax as he waits for the traveler to finish whatever they're making on the alchemy table because, seriously, it is supposed to be a relaxing day. There's nothing major going on, and his schedule is once again empty as intended. What's the hurry?
Kaeya taps his foot on the ground as he waits. He wishes he could take his own damn advice when he tells others to relax.
#kaeyachi randoms#kaeya#kaeya alberich#this is actually shorter than it originally was can yall believe?#kaeya with anxiety truther there i said it#kaeya cant stand being IDLE#get it? get it?#you see that is a play of words in reference to when he is stood idle on our screens. he is one of the more verbally impatient characters#and we also see it reflected on his actions both in fighting and at work. he has a speed boost bonus and if he isnt teleporting he is#actually moving so fast that he seems like it. this is what i also concluded that results him in large amounts of free time that only amber#seemed to be hardpressed about. the people of mondstadt find him reliable and approachable despite the lax attitude and frequent nights at#angels share. we also had lore tidbits before of kaeya straight up saying he finished all his work and jean saying that he also did the#backlogged ones. It is actually insane that we hear him relaxing frequently and i bet its not because of the lack of horses COZ LOOK AT HOW#BUSY THE OTHER CAPTAINS ARE. Also id like to think that he is a toned down noelle and that is why jean told him to watch over her training#give us noelle and kaeya interactions pls i kinda need it tbh#to all those that reached this far into the notes i actually have more to say so get ready#if it wasnt clear the only day he was late was when crepus died. everything fell apart for him that day so i can see some obsessive need to#just keep running around and doing things as efficient as possible. I also think that he found the knights slow and inefficient in several#occasions and he is willing to put them in the line of fire just to get their hearts pumping with adrenaline (and fear lol). idk kaeya is#just so anxiety-coded. impatience-core. Mr. dont waste my time type of guy. and also wow look i found a way to make his idles become angst#silly me ehe#oh youre still here? how about i tell you that kaeya-efficiency-alberich probably knows where everyone is at any time of the day?#can we honestly please give him more free time i need more of him tbh#fun reminder that bro is working around 3-4 jobs casually lmao#i also just realized that the notes is a whole nother post on its own#AND THE ACTUAL FUNNY PART IS I CAN STILL ELABORATE MORE ON THIS LMAO#wait let me add this one tiny idea too but he thinks time is so valuable. bro lost 2 dads and lost time with his bro + he significantly#lessened his time at dawn winery for quite some time. i can see why he is extroverted now.
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MY HEADCANON FOR PARENTS NAMES:
Snow White: Bianca White ( Bianca means "white" and Whites are probably one of the most obsessed families with their story, every single Snow White had a name with meaning relative to the fairy tails,)
Evil Queen: Eris Queen (I can't remember did I read a fic where she was called Eris but I think that the name of the goddess of discord really suits her)
Sleeping Beauty: Rosalin Beauty (pretty standard name)
Cinderella: Ophelia Ella ( a sweet name for a sweet girl)
Red Riding Hood: Scarlett Hood (one more standard name)
Big Bad Wolf: Aiden Wolf (close friends call him Andy :) )
Dark Fairy: Darcy Thorn ( oh the irony of being the dark fairy with dark name and yet cover yourself in light)
Candy Witch: Cinnamon Witch (I also didn't come up with this name myself. I saw someone use it for her a really long time ago but I can't remember who. If the person who came up with this name sees this, you deserve a reward, the name is perfect. But I hc that she goes by her nickname: Candy. Why? Because it's such a cute nickname)
Pinocchio: Oak Wood (I think that every family name has something to do with trees or wood. Oak sounds like a perfect name for someone sweet, young and cheerful and later as an adult calm and wise)
Goldilocks: Dolly Locks ( I just think that its a cute name and she kinda remind me of Dolly)
Huntsman: Archer Huntsman (Okay, so, Huntsmans are bad at naming their kids, like REALLY BAD. Hunter we are counting on you to break that cycle)
King Charming: Dashing Charming (I read one fanfic were he is named Dashing and i think that name suits him, i myself couldn't come up with the more fitting name)
Queen Charming: Grace Charming (I also read that one in a fanfic and i think it fits her, somehow whenever i think of Charmings Dashing and Grace are the first name that come to my mind)
Rapunzel: Cressida O'Hair (I first just like the name but then i found out the Cressida means "golden" so it goes well with Rapunzel story)
Pied Piper: Devin Piper ( It means "bard" or "poet", the perfect name for a musician. Also, Piper is really a cool name, too bad it is already his last name)
Mad Hatter: Maddox Hatter (I just like silly names for Wonderlandians, especially Mad Hatter)
Queen of Hearts: Victoria Hearts ( okeey, it's not a very Wonderlandian name but neither is Elizabeth and Vicy is a cute nikename)
Cheshire Cat: Lorelai Cheshire (I didn't want to go for the obvious one Chatrine, like, I get it, she's a cat, She literally named her daughter Kitty, or maybe Katrine Kitty for short, BUT THEN I REMEMBER THAT TOLERAI EXISTED which is literally the same name just different first latter and I already gotten attached to Lorelai, so, umm if you all could just do me the favour and pretend that these are TOTALLY different names I would be very thankful)
Alice Wonderland: Amilia Wonderland ( Also would her last name be Wonderland or Liddell? Bonus cute nickname Amy)
White Rabbit: Castor Blanc ( At first i just liked the name but don't you think that "dutiful" is a perfect for White Rabbit)
White Swan: Elenor Swan ( It means "shining light" and to be honest with that destiny she's going to need some light in her life)
Black Swan: Callisto VonBart (What would be the last name of The Black Swan? VonBart?BlackSwan? I put VonBart because I found an OC of Odille on Pinterest and her last name was VonBart. I don't know)
Frog Prince: Hanry Croakington ( i reafuse to belive that he named his son after himself. Nuh-uh. He named Hopper after his father or maybe his grandfather)
Robin Hood: Wren Hood ( Listen, Listen, maybe they just have a thing with the birds?)
Maid Marian: Pandora Charming ( I don't think that there is a destiny stricly for Maid Marian. I think thats just a princess from Charming family or from nobel family, that's why i gave her last name Chaming. Last name changed after the wedding)
Beauty: Primrose Beauty ( Ah, Beauties and their roses)
Beast: Damian Beast (like it)
Fairy Godmother: Beatrice Goodfairy ("blessed one" mmm... too bad you can't bless yourself)
Jack Beanstalk: Jasper Beanstalk (nice)
Snow Queen: Isolde Winter (perfect for ice queen)
Snow King: Nikolai Winter (took his wife's last name, couldn't think of his own that's not arleady taken)
BONUS: PRINCES CHARMING
The Good King: David Charming (i think that only the main Charming follow that logic with names where all siblings have names with the same first latter)
Cinderella's prince Charming: Louis Charming (he's a nice boy)
Snow White's prince Charming: Cassian Charming (I just like it)
Sleeping Beauty's prince Charing: Liam Charming (don't ask)
#DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO CHOOSE A NAME THAT GOES WITH YOUR CHARACTER#HAS A SIGNIFICANT MEANING#AND DOESN'T REMIND YOU OF AN EXISTING CHARACTER???#its very fucking hard#like i wanted to use nivea for snow white becouse it literally means white as snow BUT NIVEA IS A BREND#I also wanted to name pandora Penelope becouse its a cute name remaind me of the redhead#but who comes to your minde when you hear Penelope? Penelope Featherington .#WHICH IS WHY I CANT NAME SOMEONE REMUS WE ALL KNOW ONLY ONE REMUS AND THAT IS LUPIN#BUT TO MAKE THINGS EVEN WORST THERE IS ALWAYS ONE MORE POPULAR CHARACTER WITH THE NAME FIT FOR A WOLF#I WANT TO CRY#i HAVE NUMEROS EXEMPLES but okay its okay i'm okay#I GOT VERY FRUSTRATED FOR LORELAI#I liked the name becouse there is a legend about a water nymf named Lorelai and she lead sailors to their death#But in reality that nymf is acually the rock that looks like the woman AND PEOPLE STILL WRECK THEIR BOATS AGAINST THAT ROCK#beasicly there is a “nymf” named Lorelai that creates chaos and then you have a cat that creates chaos#see what i had in mind???#also while looking for names I also finde some of the strangest names people name their kids#like did you know that some people name their kides wolf or Blackwell?#Also to the people who came up with some of these names before me pls don't be mad i think you nailed it#and i forgot who you are#pls dont come after me i'm shaking with anxiety while posting this#ever after high#eah#ever after high headcanons#eah parents#class of classics
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I think on this fine Saturday afternoon it's a good opportunity to take a breather and remember that there are really no ethical paparazzi pictures. Every single one is inherently exploitative.
Just because photos were taken on a movie set, when someone is 'working,' does not make the practice any less invasive and creepy. Imagine just going about your day, doing your job and having some weirdo snapping pictures of you to sell without your consent for others to endlessly repost online.
There are thousands of pictures of your favourite actor online already. Plenty taken with his knowledge and consent. I'd really like to see more of them on my dash, rather than the creeper shots.
And don't get me started how disseminating these pictures directly leads to people going to said sets. What starts off as admiring how good someone looks has real world implications.
No, hanging around a movie set and disrupting people doing their jobs is not harmless fun or a way to show your appreciation.
If you hang around a movie set, you are a stalker.
Don't tell me that it's okay to take your online admiration for someone offline. You may admire him but he does not, and will never, personally know you. He will never be your friend/boyfriend/daddy. He is a stranger.
The only way meeting your favourite actor is going to happen is at a convention or maaaaaybe a movie premiere if you're incredibly fortunate. You know, places they appear specifically to meet fans (or not in the case of premieres, where the purpose is to promote a movie. Which is also completely understandable if actors don't stop. You are not owed an interaction).
Of course, you cannot help it if you randomly run into someone you admire in the wild. Even then, consider that they probably won't be all too thrilled to be approached in public by a complete stranger. It's up to you to gauge the situation, but remember there is a person at the heart of all of this.
Boundaries and respect are a kindness which deserves to be extended to each and every human being regardless of their looks/talent/fame/wealth.
Fandoms blur those lines a little too often for my liking and I think just scrutinising what you're interacting with, or what behaviour you could be possibly falling down that slippery slope towards is nice to do every once in a while.
I mean no malice with this post and it is not directed at anyone in particular. It's something I cannot help but feel strongly about because I've seen this destructive cycle time and again in fandoms over the years. It's not healthy and it makes us all a little bit more disconnected from our humanity for it...
#not naming names but....... screw it#pedro pascal#pedro pascal fandom#accepting you will never interact with or meet this man will set you free from misery and jealousy i promise#he's great! if you think he's great watch another movie! write about a character! edit some photos of him! make gifs!#there are many MANY ways to engage with his work which don't include reposting creepy invasive photos taken without his consent#it's bs that this is just 'part of the job' because WHY... why should it be any different than any other job??#i know we always venerate talent and put people on pedestals.... that's a tale as old as time#but seeing him blow up last year was wild to witness and some of the behaviour from newer fans is very disheartening to see#he's just a human who poops and farts and is a dick sometimes like the rest of us. let's not treat him like a god thanks#spud rants#a lot LOL#i've bottled this up for a bit because the way this developed in real time to people actually going to the set is. what#and don't 'if pedro was in your city' because NO??? i wouldn't STALK SOMEONE? there's 0 justification for it#i have far better things to do than stalk people#i may be an autistic flop but i'm not a CREEPY STALKER autistic flop thanks x#anyway like i said this is truly not @ anyone in particular and i don't think you are a terrible person if you interacted with the photos#but please just remember there is a person at the heart of all this#a very talented and attractive person yes... but a person all the same#i would truly hate to be famous it gives me so much anxiety just the thought of the constant scrutiny#good thing i never will be LOL#fandom wank#discourse
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You just made me realize for the first time since I've been drawing these guys. The person I have known the longest irl (met him in fourth grade and am still in touch with him) is a Scorpio. Holy moly.
#my characters#moe talks a lot#i guess i can do that tag#also im v sorry but this is gonna be the art of the day! i have lots of ideas and a sore wrist bc i lifted something at work poorly#so im just gonna drop this doodle and rest up#i hate that i never registered the one person ive known face to face longest is a scorpio and im a gemini#and yet ive had these guys for a while lmao#insane fact to realize and im not a fan! but oh well#hes also the guy who came to me ( a very single and asexual person) for relationship advice#on multiple occasions and tbh im so relieved he got married and doesnt bother me anymore with it#he used to date people that used anxiety and depression as a manipulation tactic and since he knows i have those issues#he was like hello is this normal for your brain chemistry#THAT ALL SAID gemini here is prone to anxiety and overthinking which is unfortunately what leads him to be bad at his power#which is telepathy.... and sometimes his thoughts leak and instead of reading minds everyone just hears his thoughts#which is my worst nightmare but yeah#its why scorpio is so determined to protect him cause like hey man those inner thoughts should STAY inner#and the rest of the zodiac is like yeah yeah thats fair we dont mind protecting gemini as priority
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hello my old heart, it’s been so long…🧡
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sorry to drop angst of my pjo dnd character on main, but it isn’t easy being an amnesiac 13 year old with no sense of where your home is or even of who you are 😔
#carrying the pjo dnd fandom on my shoulders#all these characters have made themselves at home in my head#i love them so much#when originally making oikia.. i didn’t intend to give her anxiety#but alas#also.. what’s up with her dreams being someone else’s memories??#and why is a magical kaleidoscope saying that’s she glows????#very interesting… 🤔#pjo#dnd#pjo dnd#we be campin bois#starry art
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The past couple days online have been... interesting. I consider myself a leftist, think capitalism is corrupt, and think that it needs to be seriously reformed/overthrown. I admit that while I've thrown around phrases and terms like "burn it all down" and "the revolution needs to come" out of frustration without actually thinking about what a revolution entails: excellent organization, unity, and strategy to defeat the United States, the world's largest military superpower which has inflicted political and social destabilization across the majority of countries around the world. There also needs to be superb infrastructure and community to support the disabled, elderly, and poor populations who rely on government assistance and programs, healthcare, and accommodations while this so-called revolution rages on.
All I've received from the far leftist movement are lectures from condescending intellectuals who rattle off academic citations regarding ideological theory rather than practical, tangible steps to advocate for change in our local and regional communities. I have not seen one of them actually discuss conversations they've had with their friends, family, or Americans about what they want to see reflected for the future of the country. I have not seen one of them discussed how destructive, detrimental and traumatic a Trump presidency was for social prejudice and morale in the United States. I understand that for many marginalized groups they've been living in a facist state for centuries so the possibility Project 2025 doesn't galvanize them to see the two parties differently, but I don't think it is fair to white leftists falsely equivocate the election of both parties for the entire American population at all??? Or like at least specify the issues you're referring to in which you view both parties as the same????? Literally one TikTok creator who I used to follow talked about how true leftists are so much better than liberals because they aren't waiting for a presidential candidate to save the world NOW due to the accelerated apocalypse due to climate change but when asked how to change the world they suggest sharing ideas of your future utopia with other leftist groups. How the fuck is sitting around talking about living in a walkable community is great considered "saving the world now"? How are you going to dismantle and restructure American infrastructure to create these communities? How are you going to remove existing racial and social tensions to create a community where everyone lives happily side by side? Do people not consider reality at all?????
And is it not wrong for people to have a fucking sliver of optimism and hope at incremental change that's achieved within the corrupt bipartisan system of American politics, even if they know it's propaganda??? Is it wrong for people to have a singular fucking moment of relief in feeling like their values, beliefs, and lives will be better protected and THEY can advocate for change better??? Is it wrong when there's a couple months until the most pressing election in recent history for people to make the choice they feel will reduce the most amount of harm???
#literally i've seen some leftists post like the people in the us could never handle the torture that the us inflicts in other countries#like seriously what the actual fuck do you not think most people are struggling here and dying of preventable diseases and being subjected#to hate crimes mental health crisis systemic racism sexism etc.#why the fuck arent you actually helping your community and helping them see how foreign and domestic policy are tied instead of screaming#like so much of this virtue signaling and not being grounded in reality drives me crazy#and im fucking tired of not being allowed to feel happiness about anything unless it's morally socially perfect how the fuck are we suppose#to move the needle if we never fucking feel happy????? like what after your disorganized revolution the way your room is disorganized i can#be happy that i live in a perfect utopia?? NO! that's not how the fucking world works get a grip#i never believed in working within the system but at least other more reasonable leftists have offered tangible solutions to sway politicia#in our favor and retain a little bit of our rights#like this one woman was saying union organizers align themselves with democrats strategically not because they agree with the party but#so that democrats will count on their vote and money and in turn advocate for union rights#like i feel like a far leftist would be like omg how dare you align with the democrats!!! but like honey!!! what the fuck are we supposed t#do??? stick our fucking nose up at the current political system unless we get everything we want to move the party further to the right and#then wake up one day and realize because we were waiting for a perfect system all our fucking rights are gone?????#bffr#i know i am going to lose all of my followers for this post#grace rants#politics#donald trump#kamala harris#joe biden#jd vance#project 2025#2024 elections#also to be clear this is what i feel right now because of the delayed discussion of far-leftism and options and campaigning for candidates#if leftists actually get together and UNIFY and fucking do something i'll consider inching forward to the revolution#but screaming the system is corrupt without giving people solutions or action steps and just giving them severe anxiety is unhelpful
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More animation frame screenshots whoop whoop! I swear it’s almost comedic how he’s managed to hijack my YouTube channel and gain me a baffling amount of new subscribers from OUT OF NOWHERE WHA- someone needs to stop him before this happens again I’m scared /j. It’s been fun watching the numbers increase in real time if not a tad overwhelming, but thankfully it mostly makes me feel appreciative more than anything else. Hopefully it’s made people laugh or helped inspired others <3
I would have talked myself out of sharing it otherwise…so glad I made the right decision with posting there. Took a leap of faith and now I feel validated for doing so. I just hope that I’m doing the characters justice even if adding my own unique spin on it. Plus gotta take a step back and remind myself that viewership isn’t what makes the world go round. Wouldn’t want the numbers getting to my head this early on and intervening with my creative visions jksjskp! I get easily influenced sometimes so finding a healthy balance for it is key :))
In meantime enjoy the facial doodles I love drawing expressions hehe
#yeah so funny enough might have just had another character growth moment here with myself YIPEEE#turns out I was the one holding myself back for so long#which honestly shouldn’t be a suprise for me but here we are <<#but I felt conditioned to suppress my interests from others and can’t even pinpoint why that was? Or how it started?#it’s just been something I’ve grown to struggle with throughout middle school & high school#think I internalized being a people pleaser and acting the role of who others perceived me to be?#NO CLUE we don’t got enough time for a therapy session *throws it all out the window*#point being that FINALLY I’ve broken out of that cycle#and with the success of the animation I’m finally realizing ‘HUH wait it’s actally a good thing to share nerdy fanart?’#because I labeled myself as an exception who couldn’t be allowed to do that#moral of story: anxiety messes with you and limits your creative freedom#you just need to stop caring about how others will react and GO FOR IT!! Because in reality you won’t be ridiculed for doing so#it’s just that we are so self critical and one of our biggest fans/haters all at once#but sharing fanart is perfectly acceptable and fun to do. Don’t limit yourself from doing something you want to <3#wip frames#wip animation frames#hplonesome art
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hey I hope you’re doing ok!! For the ask game, 🌈? Also perhaps ☔️?💧, even?
Hello hello, thank you for participating ☆ Once again, I can't comment on whether or not this extract is particularly fluffy but I do think it's rather sweet and it's definitely romantic so I think it's good for filling out both 🌈 and 💧!! It's an extract from what I've tentatively dubbed my 'Women and Apollo' doc which is essentially just a big running document I have dedicated to exploring themes and dynamics between Apollo and the women he's been entangled with! This extract in particular is from my Melia section 🥰
The night is a cold sheet spread across her shoulders. She wakes in pieces; first, her flesh, bracketed between the raw heat of Phoebus' bare chest and the sharp sting of the night air's fangs, then her mind, pleasure's fleeting haze quickly swept aside by panic then worry then guilt. What would Kaanthos say if he could see her now, bare breasted and stained in a male-god's desire? What would Father? No doubt she would have to cede the seat of the temple to Kaanthos. How could a carnal woman serve the people after all? And her river - oh, her sweet river! Would his waters even deign to soothe her scales when she was so completely drenched in the scent of a sky-god?
How foolish she's been, throwing everything away just because of some sweet words and a pretty face. Maybe Kaanthos truly did deserve the temple after all. Maybe Melia didn't deserve such a treasure if she was so easily seduced.
She sniffles softly, slipping gently from Phoebus' loose grip. His heat wafts off his skin like the warmth of a well-tended hearth, it lingers in her bones as she kneels in the grass of this unfamiliar field. It makes the sear of shame dig that much deeper into her heart. Phoebus had listened well to her warnings. He'd carried her someplace far away from flowing water, somewhere distant where her brother's scrying eyes could not reach. The tears welling in her eyes finally fall as she turns this way and that, utterly and completely lost without a source of water to follow. How could she return now? Even she was not bold enough to have the man she planned to reject take her back to her father's house.
Stupid girl. Foolish. How could she have been so short sighted?
"Melia?"
His voice is laden with sleep's husk, his arm makes little grabs at the grass searching for her shape. She swallows her tears and bids her voice to not betray her, "Here I am, my lord. You may go back to sleep."
The mildest furrow of his brow. When he turns his head, his hair flows like rich golden oil over the dark grass, "Come here," his hand keeps searching for hers, patting the ground, dragging long fingers over the dirt and frowning when he does not find her. "It is not yet morning, why have you fled so far from my side?"
Melia cannot help but laugh at his visage, clumsy and squinty-eyed, less the graceful gentleman who promised her a taste of change and more a bumbling kitten desperate for its mother's teat. She wipes her tears as quickly as she can muster, "If you but open your eyes, I'm certain you would find me."
He makes a grumbling noise, some cross between a boar's grunt and the crow's deep bellow, "Is this another of your games? I'm much too tired for games Melia." Finally, his finger grazes the edge of her ankle and like a child, he lights up, eyes still stubbornly closed but smile positively radiant, "Ah, there you are!" Diligently, he traces the shape of her leg with his open palm, measuring the smoothness of her calf, the swell of her knee, the broadness of her thigh, then he lays his head upon her, cheek pressed close to her stomach, heated back like warm coals against her skin. "So cool," he murmurs and kisses her stomach, throws his arm around her waist and nuzzles further into her skin, "Tell me when you've need of the water -" a dreadfully wide yawn interrupts him. "- I'll fetch it for you."
Melia finds herself laughing again, just a tiny thing as she runs her fingers through the thick waves of his hair. What is she to do now?
As for a fic idea I'd like to talk about since I don't know if I'll ever write it: Among the many, many, many things I'd like to write but probably never will, I really wish I could just sit down and write a story about Tenes and Hemithea. There's a lot of reasons why I have no plans to ever properly tackle anything regarding the Iliad - chief of which being that there's just too much information and the amount of research would be insane - but a lot of what I would potentially focus on have to deal with people and places Apollo loves and his inability to protect those things throughout the conflict starting with Tenes. I absolutely adore exploring Apollo's paternity in my writing and considering how fiersome Tenes was and how both he and Troilus would die protecting their sisters, I've just always wanted to dig into an exploration of their lives and connection with their father and how Tenes' death specifically would've affected Apollo. Like yeah, I know Troilus is usually the point of focus for such works especially because of the manner in which he was killed, but Tenes was also beloved! Also considering he was originally punished for being falsely accused of sexually assaulting his stepmother, I can't help but want to write his wrath when he realises what it is Achilles intends to do to Hemithea. Alas though, I don't think I'l ever get to do more than think longingly about it, at least right now lmao.
#ginger answers asks#ginger writes#thank you so much for the ask!#fun fact about priestesses - most of them weren't actually expected to be celibate and were often married but#specifically oracles of Apollo in early times were expected to be virginal as they were supposed to be dedicated to Apollo#since Melia was definitely an oracle based on what I've read about the Ismenian temple I ended up working a lot of purity anxiety into#her interpersonal conflict#by the by oracles of Apollo stopped being required to be virginal at some point since that role ended up being taken up by older women#Melia's whole Thing is a lot of fun tbh both from the perspective of like#a goddess who clearly had a lot of power in her own right considering how magnified her temple and worship was but who was still very much#looked after by her brother and father. I don't personally think Kaanthos was overprotective of Melia but I do think he took his job#of being her bodyguard very seriously#and considering most accounts of their affair say that Apollo just kinda yoinked Melia without telling her brother and father I don't blame#Kaanthos for resorting to extreme measures to get his sister back#Anyway it's another suuuper underrated relationship of Apollo's that I'm kinda obsessed with negl it's up there with Psamathe#which like my god why does no one ever talk about Apollo and Psamathe#I DON'T HAVE THE TIME TO WRITE ALL OF THESE AMAZING STORIES Y'ALL PLEASE#PLEASE#Marsyas this and Achilles that#When are we gonna talk about the time Apollo sent a revenge demon to torment an entire town for the negligent death of his son#and murder of his girlfriend?#smh smh#apollo#melia#greek myth writing
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had a great time today honestly (it was a singalong showing) but during the credits my friend and I were discussing the film and were by and large positive about both leads, the only negative leaning things were when my friend didnt like the color grading/lens focus and thinking ariana sang better than she acted when I thought she acted better than she sang, when the woman next to us got up and said "you girls would be lucky to if you had voices like those women did" ???????? Why spread negativity during OUR sacred tradition & right as jewish women to go to the movies today..... i didnt even catch what she said at first I just blandly said "yup! Have a great christmas!"
#real downer!!!!#maybe she thought i was being mean when i said 'cynthia ate that shit'#because she ATE up wizard & i#and everyone online is being a hater those extra runs in defying gravity are good#BANISHING the social anxiety with my public diary on tumblr dot com#why say something unless she thiught we were ruining the movje by... idk having (again not negative or cruel!) opinions#but also lady why did you attend a singalong and not sing along at all 🤨
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A little unpopular opinion on something I've seen happen more commonly throughout November/December and wanted to address quickly for my own blog: Please never hesitate to reblog anything from me. You see me reblogging a sentence starter list that you like? Go for it and reblog it from me directly without any pressure on you whatsoever to send anything into me before doing so. You like a GIF-set or musing that I reblogged? Nab it from me, it'll brighten my day to see that we share an interest in something. I like to see interaction between me and anyone who follows me. I like to see that little activity notification light up.
Honestly, it simply reminds me that we're all part of a community, and more specifically, a fandom that consists of characters and nations that we all came to love and then share that amongst ourselves. And honestly, seeing a reblog happen shortly after me but it's from the source, creates (in my opinion) an odd sense of chosen disconnect between people that can feel awkward, it's as if we're walking on eggshells as to not rub each other the wrong way. But what's wrong about going 'Hey, I see what you reblogged, I like it too!', it even gives you potential common ground to start a conversation. We're a community, and I don't know about you, but I like seeing people interact with each other beyond merely threads and notes. It's the little things that matter, after all.
#[ psa. ] seeing isn't always believing. and if you can't trust your eyes; you certainly can't trust rumors.#[ i feel like this whole 'reblog karma' rule has scared people so much into stopping with behavior that... ]#[ i think was healthy. interaction; no matter how small; makes it so much easier and comfortable for people to... ]#[ interact because you almost become 'familiar faces' through these tiny little asks. ]#[ the amount of times i've entered dms kindly/respectfully after someone's reblogged something from me-- ]#[ and the person and i proceeded to just gush about the reblogged fanart in question. or something similar. ]#[ which then makes any further ooc interaction so much easier and nicer-- the initial anxiety people may face is lessened. ]#[ because you've already found common ground. ]#[ like i don't mean to force anyone to reblog from me-- but it's like it's so obvious so often when people... ]#[ see something from you but then reblog it from the source. i dunno if it's just me but it feels odd. ]#[ it feels as if someone thinks reblogging from me would step on my toes or rub me the wrong way and i don't see?? ]#[ why that's a thing? it's so silly. reblog from me; feel welcome to do so. we all love this fandom. we all love our characters. ]#[ and each others' characters. it's why we interact; right? ]#[ any way. hi-- yes. i just mean never feel odd to reblog from me. if anything i encourage it. ]#[ i'll smile and nod at you in my activity; and you'll also pique my interest to be like 'hey! good taste 💙 ]#[ any way; i hope people are having a good weekend! ]
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does any other demiromantic (or arosepc doesnt rlly matter) feel like. extremely awful when they experience romantic attraction or is that just me.
#spacie spoinks#bruh#like. while im experiencing it i wish so badly that i wasnt 😭#i feel disgusted. is this what romantic repulsion is???#cuz like ill be experiencing all the lovey dovey stuff yk#''ooohb i wanna kiss dem oooh what if we help hands'' romantic crap but its like. anxiety inducing#like it feels awful??? is this normally how it feels?? i dont like it.#it like. doesnt feel right or natural and im assuming its b/c i just like?? barely feel it ever?? and thats why???#strange as hell.#i recently felt romantic attraction 2 someone (it has been 2 or 3 years since i last felt it) and it came on really strong for like#a week and that was like the worst week of my life#i couldnt think abt anything else but them like it wasnt even like. fantasies or anything just like.#the concept of them. my brain would just be like ''hey remember this guy''#I LIKE COULDNT SLEEP#HOW DO YOU PPL ENJOY THIS????#me; clutching my head for ~a week: AUUUGH!! THE PERSON!!! THE PERSON!!!!!#im so serious this is how it feels w/springtrap. hes like a blight on my psyche#the feelings have faded mostly i think. i think im normal abt them again (thank god)#its so strange. i think a romantic relationship would be fun but then i start feeling the feelings and its. awful.#so horrid#also like. im considering that maybe the relationship i would like some day isnt romantic but a qpr#idk. ive never been in any kind of serious relationship (never wanted 2 and have never been approached for it)#sometjing 2 think abt i guess?#anybeans. i tire.#hope i never experience that again#ik that like in 2-3 years ill be like: ''man. idk what past spacie was talking abt. would be nice 2 feel romantic attraction again''#NO SPACIE IT WONT!!! REMEMBER!!!!!! REMEMBER WHAT YOU WENT THRU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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