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#this is why i learned how to edit photos
hootybal-lecter · 1 year
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I continue to be normal about will graham
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Dysprosium, Mary Soon Lee
dysprosium, AN 66, is a silvery-white rare earth metal. its name is derived from the greek dysprositos, meaning “hard to get at”, owing to the difficulty in separating and isolating this rare earth element. dysprosium is used to measure neutron flux, to fuel reactors, and to activate phosphors. terfenol-d is a magnetorestrictive alloy, meaning that it changes shape when a magnetic field is applied, and is used to manufacture underwater acoustic systems.
jason “robo” robertson, dallas stars #21 for @simmyfrobby’s nhl periodic table poems <3
#i had a couple different ideas for poems that were taken by the time i could go deranged for a couple hours to make this but as I looked#i was like WAIT NONE OF YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE JASON ROBERTSON YOU HAVEN’T SEEN MY TEXAS CAM and had to do it. also was STRUCK with the#sudden immaculate vision of the Dallas D as part of terfenol-D and could not get it out & robo is the most dance! person i know on the team#liv in the replies#dallas stars#jason robertson#nhl periodic table poems#guys i am plagued with visions and no execution skills!! every day i come here and learn one new skill on GIMP the way god intended!!!#today it was emboss. also cannot claim any credit for the pulse to the magnetic beat photo which is so cool that was one where i had a#couple and was like maybe i can do like crayon shockwaves like the art process video kasper showed? and then found that picture and was#like thank you lord stanley for knowing my limitations. thank you for your understanding in this moment it was a trial enough to make#expand contract dance and one would THINK i would have fucking learned from the claude animorphs tragedy!! i did not. but i did use the#shear tool and 3D rotate so at least if we’re animorphing it’s SLIGHTLY better. anyway me frantically doing this like WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT#WAIT FOR ME YOU GUYS ARE SO FAST i keep seeing all of these and just spinning around in circles until i get dizzy & fall down I’m so happy#the drive folder for this is just called joy!!!!! because joy this is such a cool idea but now because it brings me so much joy#i just saw the Travis dermott one and burst into tears super normal AND someone did exactly what i wanted with hydrogen which was the water#the ice!!!!! it’s so perfect!!! and cody ofc did silver lord stanley. like does it ever make you cry how beautiful & creative everyone is?#anyway if you see me post and delete this and then update it or change it no you didn’t it’s fine. but i wanted to be included#if i could make the dysprosium letters not have a white background i would I simply could not fuck with it at 1AM. we are hitting send#it may not look like it but i queue#pretend i spoke at length about the reasons why i picked all the pictures & the element just know that it’s there inside my brain u can ask#GUYS I TAKE IT ALL BACK I SAW NEONFRETRA’S ISOTOPES AND I COULD MAKE THE EDITS EVEN THOUGH THEY’RE THERE!! ISOTOPES!!!! YOU GUYS!!!!!!#get ready for the edits then. dylan magnesium my beloved child of stars who can never return… like i wish i could say anyone else but it’s#i KNOW number nineteens bismuth don’t make me Google how many years nolan played hockey but also there’s ej for stable so.. also half-life#actinium claude giroux my beloved… when i saw there already was a claude i thought maybe Brady too for that#I don’t know how but flerovium doubled magic is percolating in my brain as was promethium bad boy because I was like hmmm. tyler. but#couldn’t commit and THEN SOMEONE DID BAD BAD LEROY BROWN TYLER BERTUZZI TO PROMETHIUM AND BESTIE I AM KISSING YOU ON THE MOUTH!!! with cons#anyway shane wright germanium with juraj slafkovský but showing him very obviously not missing it. if jack eichel was not an asshole#the narratives WOULD be narrativing. you could argue for a sidovi here with the calder cup and potentially a best friend stealing narrative#(the most recent is cam yorke’s acquisition of jamie d from trevor zegras which would then require a yorkie one for silicon the other side)
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whiskeyswifty · 1 year
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drchucktingle · 8 months
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THE TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION TELLS CHUCK TINGLE TO STAY HOME BUT WE PROVE LOVE ANYWAY
just when you buckaroos thought 2024 would be a break from book drama, here comes chuck tingle in the mix. recently i was asked to be a featured speaker at the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION annual conference. a few days ago they rescinded my invitation. here is what happened.
(EDITED TO ADD THIS LINK. if you have a hard time reading this on way of tumblr you can also read for free on chucks patreon)
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i would like to start off by saying it is not my intent to start a fight, and all those reading this should know that the actions of a few misguided folks do not speak for the whole TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION. i am sure there are many involved who will be very upset to learn what others at TLA have done in their name. there are many individuals here, so please do not paint them all as villains in your mind. besides, chuck loves the dang library everyone knows that.
the point of writing this is not to vilify. i am writing this is because MOMENTS OF DARKNESS are the best places to SHINE A LIGHT AND PROVE LOVE IS REAL. this is a perfect time for learning and growing and for us talk on some very important things that queer buckaroos and neurodivergent buckaroos face every day. this is an unfortunate moment that WE can turn around and use to prove love is real.
i am also writing this to understand some of my own personal feelings on the matter. for something that seems very simple on the surface, the trot is complex, and i am still working out my emotions on the whole dang thing. i am learning in this way.
PART ONE: BAG OF LOVE
a few months ago chuck was asked to be a featured speaker at the 2024 TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION ANNUAL CONFERENCE. i have been asked to do things like the before and it is ALWAYS a fun time to meet bookseller and librarian buds. trotting around face to face and talking about my story of conquering chronic pain and overcoming my mental hurdles is VERY IMPORTANT to me. i say YES to these things whenever i can. (here i am with authors at CALIFORNIA INDEPENDENT BOOKSELLERS ALLIANCE conference. they are a WONDERFUL group and they proved love with their OWN invitation to chuck. this was such a moving event with so many amazing authors and stories. got very teared up during this photo)
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ANYWAY BUCKAROOS i get the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION invite and say 'YES BUD LETS TROT'. we are then confirmed.
months pass. a few weeks ago i get a call from my manager and agent and publisher saying ‘the TLA have rescinded their invitation.’
turns out some things had been going on behind the scenes
at some point the TLA asked chucks INCREDIBLE HEROIC BAD ASS PUBLISHER if chuck would be okay with not wearing the mask, to which tor/nightfire/macmillan said ‘what the heck are you talking about of course chuck is going to wear his mask. this is how chuck presents himself’ (NOT EXACT QUOTE)
as you all know, my pink bag way is a VERY IMPORTANT SPACE. as an autistic buckaroo it is a boundary that allows me to express myself freely and relieve my chronic pain from neurotypically masking all day. i have talked about this for years, and it is why i consider my private identity a SACRED THING. it is literally a health issue.
fortunately THE PINK BAG is never really a problem when making appearances. i have spent years going on television shows, doing interviews, speaking at other conferences and conventions, hosting book events on tour, and even MEETING WITH LAWYERS in my pink face covering. it is always respected and that is very validating to my way.
when arriving anywhere i always take precautions. i always warn buckaroos ahead of time that there is a masked man coming. i always have someone go in ahead of me JUST IN CASE. again, there has never been an issue. at a big conference where i am a special guest there is ESPECIALLY not an issue because my face and bio are printed IN THE DANG PROGRAM
SOME FUN TIMES AT BIG EVENTS BELOW:
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CHUCK ON TV SHOW NAME OF 'AT MIDNIGHT' BACK BEFORE I WROTE LOVE IS REAL ON MY HEAD:
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well, there has never been an issue.... UNTIL NOW.
PART TWO: RESCINDED
a few days ago TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION suddenly messaged my publishers and said that chuck tingle is no longer invited. my invitation was rescinded. the reason given was that people could possibly be uncomfortable with my mask
right out of the gate i would like to say this: it is absolutely the right of the texas library association to disinvite someone from their conference. it is their event, after all, and they can ban anyone they would like, for any reason.
of course, that doesnt mean other folks HEARING THIS NEWS wont have their own opinions the TLA choices. if the TLA disinvites someone, their reasoning for doing this can be discussed and analyzed. whether or not they follow their own guidelines can be questioned, and certainly their kindness and tact can be considered
there are a few BIG POINTS to make regarding this choice from the TLA
first and foremost, i just gotta say buckaroos, it is incredibly rude to invite someone to be a guest speaker at your event, have them confirm and mark off their calendar and turn down other offers, then rescind their invitation. this is maybe the simplest of the points, but it is an important one.
second, (DEEP BREATH HERE WE GO BUCKAROOS) i personally do not think of my autism as a disability very often, but i also KNOW that despite these feelings it ABSOLUTELY IS. autism is important to be listed as a recognized disability because of the help some autistic buckaroos need regarding government programs and things like that. ALSO just because my neurodivergence has helped me in some ways (hyperfocus and a unique artistic sensibility for example). i personally need to step back and remember my battle with stress and chronic pain from having to neurotypically mask all the time. for as much as i love being autistic it has made some things very difficult.
in other words, i am perfectly capable of speaking and interacting with folks without this pink bag on my head BUT WHEN I AM IN THE CHUCK TINGLE SPACE I REQUIRE IT. i can ONLY use this space while covering my face. is not a want. it is a need. holding this boundary is more important than i can ever say. i will not, and can not, let these spaces cross.
TLA not letting an autistic author wear the face cover theyve set up to express their neurodivergence in a safe, healthy way is--for lack of a better term--NOT A GOOD LOOK.
i cannot fathom them disinviting another author for using a disability aid. i cannot fathom them saying that a buckaroo who hears better with a hearing device cannot use it during their panel because it would make others 'uncomfortable'.
but here we are.
PART THREE: WHAT DOES A BUCKAROO GOTTA DO TO GET BANNED AROUND HERE?
this is the TLAs official stance on disability issues according to their website:
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when poking around on the TLA website i noticed a few other things. i noticed a previous guest speaker wearing a niqab, and i was left wondering if the religious significance is what make that okay but chuck tingle banned. that made sense until i looked deeper and saw mascot buckaroos dressed up on the exhibition floor, and saw some kind of spiderbud in a costume contest. nobody around them seemed to be all that scared. their invitations REMAINED INTACT.
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it should be mentioned here that AT ONE POINT during the discussions an email was sent from TLA saying chuck is allowed to come and wear his mask in the exhibition halls and smaller panels, just not at any of the big PAID PANELS i was once supposed to participate on. this was a confusing offer, but their explanation was that people who paid for something should have the option to not see chucks 'scary neurodivergence aid'. i tried to wrap my head around WHY they would make a distinction. maybe the exchange of money (rather than time) causes some kind of philosophical adjustment that i just cant grasp?
i wonder, would the author who wears a niqab ALSO be banned from the paid panels? i hope not
my answers trotted up short until i investigated deeper and found this quick moment from one of the TLA help videos. while some events DO require additional buckaroo cash, it actually appears that THE ENTIRE CONFERENCE IS TICKETED AND COSTS MONEY.
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at this point i realized there is clearly no actual official policy about not covering your face (other than one from a few years ago saying that you HAVE to cover your face), and the addition of 'money' is a red herring. these excuses make no sense
PART FOUR: CLOSE THOSE GATES
it appears that my neurodivergence is 'scary' enough to get me uninvited, REGARDLESS what their disability and mask policies may say
BUT WHY? why is chucks preferred physical presentation valued SO little by the TLA that a THEORETICAL complaint is worth more? is my neurodivergent expression so awful? is my own safety as a queer activist such an afterthought?
is a pink bag with the words 'love is real' scrawled across the front REALLY going to frighten someone when the posters and pamphlets on the way into in panel would have a photo of my masked face saying THIS IS LITERALLY WHO IS ABOUT TO APPEAR BEFORE YOU.
if THAT accommodation is too much, would it really be so difficult to have someone trot out beforehand and make an announcement? to say 'there is someone on this upcoming panel who needs a mask to express this part of himself, if this makes you uncomfortable then this panel might not be for you'.
and really, i have to heckin ask, is this physical expression of my raw inner truth really so hideous and frightening that fear of making someone uncomfortable is a REAL problem?
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(a terrifying display of autism. apparently)
i cannot imagine what kind of precautions they need to take before a stage play featuring costumes and masks.
you MIGHT think chucks queerness and left leaning politics could be the issue with this organization, but they have had drag queens as past speakers (also featuring some GLORIOUS makeup and hair that covers almost all of their faces. VERY CURIOUS). regardless, the TLA do not seem like a conservative bunch.
if you are bisexual or an autistic person who is good at 'passing' you probably already know where this is headed, your dang spiderbuckaroo senses are tingling at FULL ALERT. i will say i do not KNOW the real reason why i was uninvited, and i do not have enough information to make any concrete statement of the real answer. there is only evidence that masks have been fine at TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION events in the past, but not much else to go on.
so the FACTS part of our discussion ends there, but i think it opens us up to talk about some very important feelings that bisexual and autistic buckaroos know well.
THIS is where we take a unfortunate, hurtful moment and turn it into a discussion. this is where we prove love is real.
as someone who is constantly doubted and put through purity tests because of my unique way, we are pushing up against a subject i know well. thats right buckaroos: we are talking GATEKEEPING
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AGAIN, i do not know if this is the answer, but someone in my position might be VERY STRONGLY INCLINED TO THINK that a few well-meaning left leaning buckaroos think i am a joke and that this is a character, and that there is something problematic about my work because i am not really a real person.
any upstanding left leaning organization would OF COURSE allow a mask for a neurodivergent buckaroo with an unusual visual presentation, an autistic buckaroo who conquered his chronic pain ONLY by creating this important space... but what about a FAKE autistic buckaroo?
any upstanding left leaning organization would OF COURSE allow a mask for a queer LGBTQ activist standing up for gay and trans rights against a torrent of scoundrels hunting for his legal identity. its a matter of safety... but what about a FAKE queer activist?
let me be very clear for the 100th time: i am a real person. this is not a joke. i am not playing a character. i am really autistic and bisexual. tinglers are sincere and they are not ‘so bad theyre good’. they are just good. camp damascus is not ‘my first serious book’ because my queer erotica is serious. my art is important and real.
when people tell me to unmask they often do not know WHY they want it, and of course one very good reason is innocent curiosity. but there are SOME cases where i start to get THAT feeling--that tingle all of us ‘passing’ buckaroos get when we can sense the real intent behind the poking and prodding. that is the feeling of stumbling into a gatekeepers crosshairs.
if i was to take off my pink bag, what about my face would you analyze to tell if i was REALLY queer. my eye color? my ear shape? if you learned my legal name, would you see if it sounded autistic? is my voice neurodivergent enough?
or is all of that utterly absurd? i am curious what the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION thinks.
PART FIVE: GENDERED
this will be the shortest of parts, but it has to be said. i have a very complex relationship with gender, as written about at length here and here. i understand these things can be difficult to parse for some, but i ask that you trust me when i say that the ONLY reason i have been able to talk about my gender and sexuality and learn these things about myself is because of this pink bag. this outward appearance is a direct expression and reflection of my gender journey.
if the texas library association does not care about my appearance as an expression of my autism, then i cant imagine them giving a dang about it as an expression of my gender and queerness. that being said, it is personally very important to me and i think it should be mentioned
PART SIX: SO YOU WANT TO REMOVE AN AUTISTIC QUEER AUTHOR FROM YOUR EVENT BECAUSE PEOPLE MIGHT FIND THEIR DIFFERENCES SCARY
there is a question to be asked here: how could the TLA have done this correctly?
i have one very big piece of advice i would like to shout from the rooftops. please, for the love of sweet barbara, DO ENOUGH RESEARCH to know if this appearance will be a problem and, IF SO, dont extend an invitation in the first place. unique buckaroos with different presentations are constantly left in this place of limbo because we are bombarded with careless actions like those of the TLA. before you consider extending a branch to an artist who might need more accommodations than usual, think to yourself 'CAN WE MAKE THESE ACCOMMODATIONS?'
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putting all of this on the shoulders of a single 'buckaroo with a difference' is exhausting. as the TLA has shown, we currently live on a timeline where a buckaroo like myself never really knows if an invite is SOLID without doing a deep dive history lesson on how often a group discriminates and against who.
i did not want to spend my whole family holiday worrying whether or not i should say something publicly or just lie down and shut my dang mouth. i had to consider HOW i should say it. i had to worry whether or not its worth standing up for myself in the face of the largest state library association in the country. i think buckaroos with differences are with me when i say: WE ARE SICK OF HAVING TO DO THIS WORK TO COVER FOR THE POOR BEHAVIOR OF LARGE ORGANIZATIONS WHO TREAT US BADLY
another option would just be to use kindness and common sense and happily accommodate artists with unique presentations to your conventions
PART SEVEN: LOVE IS STILL REAL
i would like to close by saying THANK YOU to my publisher nightfire and editor kelly for standing up for me. they immediately stood firm and had my back. they are the real dang deal. THANK YOU to my management and agent buds dongwon and gino for trotting along beside me. THANK YOU to the folks at the texas library association who initially invited chuck with goodness in their heart and then likely got bowled over by someone else, and maybe even got knocked to the side by a big closing gate.
i hope there are librarians in texas who are still interested in carrying BURY YOUR GAYS when it comes out (which is ironically about someone who creates a space through art to express their queerness where they cant otherwise). libraries prove love is real and what they do IS SO IMPORTANT. it was SO IMPORTANT TO ME as a young buckaroo and i cannot thank you enough. i am not sure if me writing all of this will hurt my sales in some way, but this opportunity to speak about the reality of disability awareness and queer gatekeeping is too important to stay silent. (if you have not already preordered BURY YOUR GAYS then give it a preorder to make up for some texas library losses i guess.)
which leads me to my final thank you. THANK YOU to the buckaroos reading this. yes YOU. i am in the position to stand up and speak my mind against scoundrel forces ONLY because i have the might of you buckaroos by my side. the buckaroo trot is ALL OF OUR TROT and we are ALL HERE TO PROVE LOVE. i cannot tell you how much i appreciate the way you have created a space for me to express these important parts of myself. you have seen this pink mask over my face and saying YES, I ACCEPT YOU, you have literally saved my life. for that i am so thankful.
if you are UPSET by what youve read here, then turn it into something positive. you can support autistic creators, or make a donation to the AUTISTIC SELF ADVOCACY NETWORK
and besides WHO IS REALLY MISSING OUT? this is what it looks like when you invite the worlds greatest author chuck tingle to your event and treat their identity as valid. WE HAVE A DANG GOOD TIME
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KEEP TROTTING INTO THE FUTURE. KEEP KICKING DOWN GATES WHEREVER THEY MAY BE. KEEP PROVING LOVE IS REAL AND PROVING IT TOGETHER. lets go buckaroos - chuck
UPDATE AN HOUR AFTER POSTING:
true buckaroo TJ KLUNE was set to be another author on panel chuck was removed from and has informed me he has now chosen to decline his invitation in support and solidarity with chuck. i am so deeply moved by this. thank you from bottom of heart buckaroo
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to be very clear TJ has a huge platform and DOES NOT NEED TO DO THIS. these conferences are great for book sales and he is taking a hit out of pure solidarity. this is queer buckaroos standing up for eachother. i am floored by this kindness and love
please consider checking out his books if they are not already covering your dang bookshelf. chuck blurbed IN THE LIVES OF PUPPETS and i was blown away i heckin loved it
MOST RECENT UPDATE:
here is more
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bugbeast · 6 months
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Self promo for my newest card game, Jewel Thief; but you can play it for free! First, though, let's cover the basics...
TL;DR - Its a 4+ player competetive card-matching game with four rule variants; buy it here or look for the orange text in this post to learn how to play it with a regular deck
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"What is Jewel Thief?"
It's a card matching game with a villain; one player tries to match jewels in a 36 card grid while their opponent, the titular Jewel Thief, periodically steals cards from the board. You can check out its page on The Game Crafter for more information, but it'll spoil the rest of this post
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"What makes it special?"
The game's turn structure would theorettically allow you, perhaps via some kind of infinite cloning machine, to play a round of Jewel Thief til the heat death of the universe. While I wouldnt recommend that, its lack of a player cap (and ease of set-up; seriously, all you do is put cards on a table) makes it a good party game choice.
But that's not all!
There are three extra rule variants that drastically alter the gameplay while keeping card matching and stealing as main mechanics. I believe the cards are versatile enough to allow for many custom games, too
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"Okay, but why should I buy a silly game from some bug nerd?"
First off, ouch. Second off, that's the best part; you dont have to buy it to play it! Jewel Thief can be played with a standard 52 card deck. Here's how:
Step 1. Remove the 10s, Jacks, Queens, Kings and Jokers
Step 2. Download the free rules from the shop page
Step 3. Play the game, matching cards based on their values. You'll need to designate a value as the Diamond jewel for game 4
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That's it for my little self-promo. If you dont buy the game, I hope you'll at least give it a try and consider supporting my future projects.
I also post art and photography, which you can find under the bugbeast art and bugbeast photos tags. I hope you check them out
Thank you for your time <3
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Edit (Mar. 25, 2024) : Thank you to everyone who liked and reblogged this; if you play the game I encourage you to share your thoughts in the comments and/or reblogs (even if you hated it). Feel free to share any custom games or house rules you come up with, too. I'd love to try them!
Edit (Aug. 10, 2024) : Final edit most likely; gonna blaze this one more time for good luck then maybe start work on a postmortem for the project, maybe give a little backstory for anyone who cares. Life is a little rough right now, but fate willing, I'll be able to work on/post about my future projects, including the future of Jewel Thief itself
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ms-demeanor · 10 months
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Why reblog machine-generated art?
When I was ten years old I took a photography class where we developed black and white photos by projecting light on papers bathed in chemicals. If we wanted to change something in the image, we had to go through a gradual, arduous process called dodging and burning.
When I was fifteen years old I used photoshop for the first time, and I remember clicking on the clone tool or the blur tool and feeling like I was cheating.
When I was twenty eight I got my first smartphone. The phone could edit photos. A few taps with my thumb were enough to apply filters and change contrast and even spot correct. I was holding in my hand something more powerful than the huge light machines I'd first used to edit images.
When I was thirty six, just a few weeks ago, I took a photo class that used Lightroom Classic and again, it felt like cheating. It made me really understand how much the color profiles of popular web images I'd been seeing for years had been pumped and tweaked and layered with local edits to make something that, to my eyes, didn't much resemble photography. To me, photography is light on paper. It's what you capture in the lens. It's not automatic skin smoothing and a local filter to boost the sky. This reminded me a lot more of the photomanipulations my friend used to make on deviantart; layered things with unnatural colors that put wings on buildings or turned an eye into a swimming pool. It didn't remake the images to that extent, obviously, but it tipped into the uncanny valley. More real than real, more saturated more sharp and more present than the actual world my lens saw. And that was before I found the AI assisted filters and the tool that would identify the whole sky for you, picking pieces of it out from between leaves.
You know, it's funny, when people talk about artists who might lose their jobs to AI they don't talk about the people who have already had to move on from their photo editing work because of technology. You used to be able to get paid for basic photo manipulation, you know? If you were quick with a lasso or skilled with masks you could get a pretty decent chunk of change by pulling subjects out of backgrounds for family holiday cards or isolating the pies on the menu for a mom and pop. Not a lot, but enough to help. But, of course, you can just do that on your phone now. There's no need to pay a human for it, even if they might do a better job or be more considerate toward the aesthetic of an image.
And they certainly don't talk about all the development labs that went away, or the way that you could have trained to be a studio photographer if you wanted to take good photos of your family to hang on the walls and that digital photography allowed in a parade of amateurs who can make dozens of iterations of the same bad photo until they hit on a good one by sheer volume and luck; if you want to be a good photographer everyone can do that why didn't you train for it and spend a long time taking photos on film and being okay with bad photography don't you know that digital photography drove thousands of people out of their jobs.
My dad told me that he plays with AI the other day. He hosts a movie podcast and he puts up thumbnails for the downloads. In the past, he'd just take a screengrab from the film. Now he tells the Bing AI to make him little vignettes. A cowboy running away from a rhino, a dragon arm-wrestling a teddy bear. That kind of thing. Usually based on a joke that was made on the show, or about the subject of the film and an interest of the guest.
People talk about "well AI art doesn't allow people to create things, people were already able to create things, if they wanted to create things they should learn to create things." Not everyone wants to make good art that's creative. Even fewer people want to put the effort into making bad art for something that they aren't passionate about. Some people want filler to go on the cover of their youtube video. My dad isn't going to learn to draw, and as the person who he used to ask to photoshop him as Ant-Man because he certainly couldn't pay anyone for that kind of thing, I think this is a great use case for AI art. This senior citizen isn't going to start cartooning and at two recordings a week with a one-day editing turnaround he doesn't even really have the time for something like a Fiverr commission. This is a great use of AI art, actually.
I also know an artist who is going Hog Fucking Wild creating AI art of their blorbos. They're genuinely an incredibly talented artist who happens to want to see their niche interest represented visually without having to draw it all themself. They're posting the funny and good results to a small circle of mutuals on socials with clear information about the source of the images; they aren't trying to sell any of the images, they're basically using them as inserts for custom memes. Who is harmed by this person saying "i would like to see my blorbo lasciviously eating an ice cream cone in the is this a pigeon meme"?
The way I use machine-generated art, as an artist, is to proof things. Can I get an explosion to look like this. What would a wall of dead computer monitors look like. Would a ballerina leaping over the grand canyon look cool? Sometimes I use AI art to generate copyright free objects that I can snip for a collage. A lot of the time I use it to generate ideas. I start naming random things and seeing what it shows me and I start getting inspired. I can ask CrAIon for pose reference, I can ask it to show me the interior of spaces from a specific angle.
I profoundly dislike the antipathy that tumblr has for AI art. I understand if people don't want their art used in training pools. I understand if people don't want AI trained on their art to mimic their style. You should absolutely use those tools that poison datasets if you don't want your art included in AI training. I think that's an incredibly appropriate action to take as an artist who doesn't want AI learning from your work.
However I'm pretty fucking aggressively opposed to copyright and most of the "solid" arguments against AI art come down to "the AIs viewed and learned from people's copyrighted artwork and therefore AI is theft rather than fair use" and that's a losing argument for me. In. Like. A lot of ways. Primarily because it is saying that not only is copying someone's art theft, it is saying that looking at and learning from someone's art can be defined as theft rather than fair use.
Also because it's just patently untrue.
But that doesn't really answer your question. Why reblog machine-generated art? Because I liked that piece of art.
It was made by a machine that had looked at billions of images - some copyrighted, some not, some new, some old, some interesting, many boring - and guided by a human and I liked it. It was pretty. It communicated something to me. I looked at an image a machine made - an artificial picture, a total construct, something with no intrinsic meaning - and I felt a sense of quiet and loss and nostalgia. I looked at a collection of automatically arranged pixels and tasted salt and smelled the humidity in the air.
I liked it.
I don't think that all AI art is ugly. I don't think that AI art is all soulless (i actually think that 'having soul' is a bizarre descriptor for art and that lacking soul is an equally bizarre criticism). I don't think that AI art is bad for artists. I think the problem that people have with AI art is capitalism and I don't think that's a problem that can really be laid at the feet of people curating an aesthetic AI art blog on tumblr.
Machine learning isn't the fucking problem the problem is massive corporations have been trying hard not to pay artists for as long as massive corporations have existed (isn't that a b-plot in the shape of water? the neighbor who draws ads gets pushed out of his job by product photography? did you know that as recently as ten years ago NewEgg had in-house photographers who would take pictures of the products so users wouldn't have to rely on the manufacturer photos? I want you to guess what killed that job and I'll give you a hint: it wasn't AI)
Am I putting a human out of a job because I reblogged an AI-generated "photo" of curtains waving in the pale green waters of an imaginary beach? Who would have taken this photo of a place that doesn't exist? Who would have painted this hypersurrealistic image? What meaning would it have had if they had painted it or would it have just been for the aesthetic? Would someone have paid for it or would it be like so many of the things that artists on this site have spent dozens of hours on only to get no attention or value for their work?
My worst ratio of hours to notes is an 8-page hand-drawn detailed ink comic about getting assaulted at a concert and the complicated feelings that evoked that took me weeks of daily drawing after work with something like 54 notes after 8 years; should I be offended if something generated from a prompt has more notes than me? What does that actually get the blogger? Clout? I believe someone said that popularity on tumblr gets you one thing and that is yelled at.
What do you get out of this? Are you helping artists right now? You're helping me, and I'm an artist. I've wanted to unload this opinion for a while because I'm sick of the argument that all Real Artists think AI is bullshit. I'm a Real Artist. I've been paid for Real Art. I've been commissioned as an artist.
And I find a hell of a lot of AI art a lot more interesting than I find human-generated corporate art or Thomas Kincaid (but then, I repeat myself).
There are plenty of people who don't like AI art and don't want to interact with it. I am not one of those people. I thought the gay sex cats were funny and looked good and that shitposting is the ideal use of a machine image generation: to make uncopyrightable images to laugh at.
I think that tumblr has decided to take a principled stand against something that most people making the argument don't understand. I think tumblr's loathing for AI has, generally speaking, thrown weight behind a bunch of ideas that I think are going to be incredibly harmful *to artists specifically* in the long run.
Anyway. If you hate AI art and you don't want to interact with people who interact with it, block me.
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screeching-bunny · 1 year
Note
I'm intrigued by the idea of yandere priest harem.
Just a bunch of sexually repressed men that now have a tangible person to 'worship'.
Yandere! Priest Harem
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Warnings: Obsessive Behavior, Yandere Thoughts, Bad Writing, Stalking, Possessive Behavior, Reader is Referred as ‘You’
Tags: @endism
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What the fuck. You can’t believe it but you accidentally started a cult. You weren't sure how but you managed to do it. Everything about it was planned perfectly for you. From the moment you were kidnapped to the moment where you gave in, there was always some sort of routine that the priest followed that seemed almost robotic. Every word or phrase spoken to you seemed somewhat rehearsed as if they were doing everything in their power to make you pleased and happy. Everything that you requested or asked for was quickly met. Did you just say that you were hungry? Don’t worry, wait a couple more minutes and a feast will be made just for you. Did something catch your eye while you were shopping? In a couple minutes it is purchased and given to you. Never in your life had you seen a group more downbad people then these priests. They are incredibly whipped for you and treat you as if you were some kind of God.
Although you were kidnapped you soon learned to just accept the role as their false God. Why? Well to simply put you were just plain lazy and if being kidnapped allowed you to live a luxurious life without needing to work then so be it. Screw having a job and screw having to pay for bills. You will accept this position with grace and take advantage of it however you would like. The only thing that bothered you was why the hell were people joining this stupid cult!?!? By now you expected the stupid priests to run out of money by now due to your spending habits but why on Earth are people still continuing to donate to them!?!? There just always seems to be a never ending supply of money!!!
“Did you see them? The God of this religion is such a cutie. Do you think I have a shot at becoming a priest? Hell, I wouldn’t even mind being a sacrifice to them.” (Go away).
“I just donated my entire retirement fund to them. It’s so worth it. Did you see how cute their sneezes are? I could literally just die!!!” (Then die).
“I shook their hand a few days ago with my right hand. I haven’t washed it since.” (Gross).
Dammit that's why. You're so called “followers” were nothing but a group of some weirdo simps. The only thing that you ever did around this place was give speeches to your cult that came right out of your ass and they would eat it up everytime too. It is so bad that you could literally say that the Earth was flat and they would go to war to defend that you were right. You’ve never seen a group of more stupider people. As of right now you were currently giving out one of those bullshit speeches to your followers.
“... which is why cats are superior over dogs. If you have a cat tell them I said pspspspsp.”
One of the priests raises their hand, “Can you repeat that whole thing again? That was super cute and I forgot to press record.”
Another priest responds with, “Don’t worry I caught it all and I’ll send it to you later. In exchange, can I have that limited edition picture of them sleeping with a teddy bear.”
Another voice shouts, “Wait! I have some never seen before photos of them. Are you willing to trade it for the limited edition picture?”
“...”
Later that night you soon discover that there is a “trading card game” going around the cult using your pictures. You weren’t even sure how they even managed to take these photos but they somehow have them and how were these mass produced without you even noticing!?!? Why are they out of stock and why are they so popular!?!? Everyday is a never ending migraine for you. Just when you thought the priests couldn’t disappoint you even further, they always manage to prove you wrong. If they weren’t the ones feeding you, you would have been long gone by now.
Waking up always felt like a struggle most of the time. Like it literally was a struggle because there was always someone in your bed with you. They would constantly cuddle up to you as close as possible and make it difficult to leave the bed with their weight holding you down. By the time you wake up breakfast is already made and there is someone constantly fighting to decide who gets to feed you. After breakfast, you stroll around the gigantic garden that was funded with the money of taxpayers. Afternoons are spent giving out wack speeches and talking to your loyal followers. Dinners are the same as breakfast and there is competition on who gets to bathe with you. Quite often these end up turning physical fights between everyone. During the night you're out like a light and it’s a repeat of everything the next day.
Every passing day makes you so concerned for the mental health of others. There is just no way that any of these people are mentally sane. They have to be on drugs or something. You refused to believe that these were rational adults that are contributing members of society. No matter how much you try to change your personality, they always find a way to coo at you. On the days that you act like a brat you are met with the responses of, “Oh my god look at them pout that's so adorable!! Now step on me–”. On the days you act lazy it’s met with, “You don’t have to move I’ll do it all for you! Just let me lick your–”. Are you acting happy today? Well that's met with, “Your smile is so radiant! You know what would make your day better if you let me suck–”. In the end though it really doesn’t matter because their main goal in life is to forever worship your being whether you like it or not.
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starseungs · 3 months
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college crush!seungmin
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college crush series .ᐟ ── bang chan ⋆ lee know ⋆ changbin ⋆ hyunjin ⋆ han ⋆ felix ⋆ seungmin ⋆ i.n
kim seungmin x gn!reader. fluff, college au. 1.1k wc.
note: #1 on the college crush series! this was from a college boyfriend seungmin drabble i whipped up from his recent bubble photo, but became headcanons instead ... and a series ... for all the members ;;; anyway that's for me to worry about and for you all to enjoy <3
2024 ⓒ starseungs on tumblr. do not steal, repost, or edit.
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College Crush!Seungmin who you first met through your shared class together. He was well-known by the class as that student who always sat in the first row—the only one doing so willingly. 
College Crush!Seungmin who your first thoughts were that he looked really handsome and put together, which pulled your curiosity in. He had that aura of seriousness coming off him in silent waves, though, so you opted to admire him from a distance instead.
College Crush!Seungmin who you caught staring at you with a slight tilt on his head when the professor announced you two as partners for the first subject of the semester. You could almost see the calculative glint in his eye, which you interpreted as him trying to get an initial read of you. 
College Crush!Seungmin who you quickly learned to be strict when it came to punctuality, whether it be deadlines or meeting times. Initially, you thought he was being uneccessarily hot-headed about it—until you got to know him better and found out about how serious he took his studies because of a scholarship. You straightened out your act after that.
College Crush!Seungmin who has a “studies first” mindset, but was also surprisingly good at maintaining his social life. You’ve seen him have at least one conversation with all the students in your shared class, as well as getting invited to different kinds of hangouts. There’s been multiple times he’s rejected offers in favor of studying, but his reputation still remains positive. 
College Crush!Seungmin who despite having all those other friends, came to you first when your subject professor announced a group work where you could choose your own members. You were dumbfounded as he stood in front of your desk, talking about his plans for the content as if grouping up with you was the most natural course of action. 
College Crush!Seungmin who stuttered in embarrassment when you asked him why he chose you as a group member, his face flushing slightly as he avoided your eyes and admitted he thought of you as his first friend in class. You didn’t voice it out, but his statement made you extremely happy. 
College Crush!Seungmin who evidently got frustrated whenever things don’t go as he planned with the groupwork, yet was questionably patient whenever it was you who had issues. He would never admit his blatant favoritism, even as you both felt the suspicious gazes of your groupmates. You promised yourself that day that you would keep the pride you felt at being the center of his attention a secret and take it to the grave.
College Crush!Seungmin who made you promise to keep in touch with him as much as possible since you unfortunately only had one class with him. He claims it was because he tolerated you better than the rest and thought your output quality matched well with his. You kept your mouth shut even though you clearly noticed the way he fumbled with his fingers in anxiousness while waiting for your answer.
College Crush!Seungmin who kept acting like it was a bother to tutor you, yet was always the first one to offer since he somehow keeps noticing where you struggle during your study hangouts. You wouldn’t be able to see it as you focus on applying what he just taught you, but his lips curl up into a fond smile whenever he sees you succeed in answering a question and feel proud of yourself.
College Crush!Seungmin who has nerdy interests he keeps on the downlow. You discovered his baseball card collection by accident when your pen rolled down under his bed the time he invited you over to study in his dorm room since his mom sent him tons of perishable snacks he couldn’t finish by himself before they went bad. 
College Crush!Seungmin who couldn’t hide the way his eyes lit up when you asked sincere questions about his collection, eventually realizing that you showed interest in the things he liked. You quietly burned all the information he says into your brain, already plotting ways on how you could bring them up again in the future.
College Crush!Seungmin who enthusiastically makes sure that he listens to you talk about your own interests too, taking time out of his day to learn more about them in secret. Your heart fluttered way too much to hide the joy you felt when he casually referenced them in conversation.
College Crush!Seungmin who looked like an abandoned puppy when your shared professor assigned you two different partners for another task. You stayed up all night giggling to yourself while reading the non-stop trail of messages he kept sending you, expressing his disappointment at the arrangement.
College Crush!Seungmin who never thought he'd start finding doing projects boring whenever he wasn’t doing them with you. It was a pain to keep yourself from physically shaking in delight every time he calls you to keep him company as he does his schoolwork—not knowing this was his way of removing the stress he felt from constantly doing academics.
College Crush!Seungmin who started bringing you your preferred wake-up drink every day before your first class. You felt bad that he might have been spending too much money on you, but he was stubborn in not wanting you to pay him back for the drinks. Might as well enjoy the free energy you get from both him and the drink for the whole day. 
College Crush!Seungmin who was the subject of your friends’ good-natured teasing—the constant coos of how you both suited each other making heat rise up to your face as he chuckled along with them, not saying anything to refute it.
College Crush!Seungmin who finally asked you out on a romantic date spontaneously after class, proposing that he'd treat you to dinner after your last study session before the semester finals. You told him that you two could split the bill like you always did whenever you two ate together, only to witness him splutter out a frantic objection. When he saw the stunned look on your face at his sudden outburst, he gathered up all his courage to genuinely convey his intentions.
College Crush!Seungmin who became your boyfriend through his wording of wanting to be your “permanent project partner.” He couldn’t believe his ears when he heard you say yes, already mentally berating himself for what he believed was cringy wording. But what he didn’t know was that you would’ve been over the moon with anything, as long as it was him.
College Boyfriend!Seungmin who thinks you’re his perfect pair, always thanking the universe for letting him meet you.
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MASTERTAG ━ STATUS: OPEN — ASK OR COMMENT 🫶
@fairyki @hysgf @euncsace @comet-falls @starlostseungmin @ameliesaysshoo @hyunverse @djeniryuu @lixxpix @xocandyy @minluvly @moon0fthenight @estellaluna
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Text
doctor who but i've never watched it
and so it begins again. the people asked for it. the people got it. i will ensure the people regret it.
i have never watched this show, or seen an edit, but i am a thorough researcher and i feel that i've got the essence of it.
this is what i have gathered. academicians worldwide take note.
Firstly, so I don't anger anyone, I accept and acknowledge that the tardis is blue and not yellow. My misinformation was from a Drarry fanfiction, and I had hitherto regarded Drarry fanfiction as the absolute truth.
There are doctors, and there are at least fifteen of them. At least two of them are David Tennant, which I can respect.
I'm not sure why the doctors are doctors, because I can find no trace of any medical procedure except for one doctor who licks things, which he learned from the previous doctor. If this is sufficient reason, I apologise for doubting their credentials.
On the other hand, if they are doctors thanks to a postdoctoral degree, this is also fine, though I have never seen anyone study anything. There is however a doctor, and there were people upset about her, but the fandom pointed out she set the tardis on fire, which is apparently a very doctor thing to do. Setting things on fire is absolutely something any research scholar would love, so again, apologies for doubting their credentials.
At least one doctor is gay. It is probably one of the David doctors, which checks out. He says someone, I think a dentist, is hot. I envy the maybe-dentist.
A t least one doctor is trans. I was unable to find them. But they exist. Oh yes, the fandom assures me they exist.
David Tennant as well as Ncuti Gatwa were fanboys, first of the show, and second of David Tennant, and thus they got into acting. Just a fun tidbit from me, since I am now the authority on this fandom.
There are time machines with which the doctors have sex by piloting them, which is questionable because the time machines are only partially sentient. I am not sure if the time machines are the tardis. But the tardis is blue, and not yellow, of that I am certain.
There was a stage play. Or maybe that was a metaphor for the production budget of the early seasons. I am not sure, but toddler David Tennant watched it. I assume no one took a 3 year old to a stage play, so through scientific deduction, it must have been a metaphor.
At some point, Death is an agony aunt and they have to spill secrets to it, or drown in a lake of human skulls. Who is this they? It's so obvious that the fandom sees no need to explain it, and neither do I. I do know it though. Of that you may remain certain.
A David doctor has a niece and she likes being his niece.
A David doctor has a best friend named Donna. He kisses her head. She supports his fruitiness. It is wholesome. It killed him when he lost her.
Slight tangent, but younger David doctor looks like Andrew Garfield. Current David in photos does give Ben Barnes energy. Any Wolfstar shippers, I believe you've found the Wolfstar kid. It is David Tennant.
A lot of people are David Tennant. A reliable Pinterest post on Doctor Who, clearly well researched, gave me the statistic that 15% of Doctor Who is David Tennant. From the amount of David Tennant that I ran across in my research, I don't understand it but I don't doubt it, either.
Speaking of Andrew Garfield, he in involved in this somehow. I am not sure how, but you cannot escape Andrew Garfield. He is even a part of fandoms he never acted in.
There is an individual named Catherine, I think she is the actress, but she could be a character. She seems to have much less knowledge about Doctor Who lore than I do. David Tennant finds it funny. Maybe he would find me funny, too.
The doctors installed some things in the tardis, from a wheelchair ramp to a jukebox. I don't know why a jukebox was needed. If I'm honest I don't know what a jukebox is. I don't know what the tardis is. But it is blue, and not yellow.
There is a French catchphrase.
Something happens in Wales. I don't know what it is, but something always seems to be happening in Wales in these fandoms, so I don't doubt it.
There is an old Doctor Who in a wheelchair, and he is happy to see a David doctor.
They go around in space, and do things. Who is this they? You and I both know the answer, so we needn't talk about it.
The show intro is "doo wee doo".
There is an alien who is not a mouse, the alien is The Meep, and uses the definite article as pronouns. David doctor is supportive of this, which is very good.
I found baby Yoda in the show, but apparently they call it a 'goblin' there, and someone doesn't like it.
There is a lot to do with time. There is a time hole, and things happen, and people die and are resurrected. There is danger, but it is fun.
They have CGI, and it is not good, which is the best thing about it. Who is they? Please stop asking me. It is rather obvious and something I definitely know.
Someone's boyfriend dies and the boyfriend is then resurrected but then gets lost with his boyfriend but then is reincarnated as a girl who would still call herself the someone's boyfriend but then she is replaced by the boyfriend but he's different now. I apologise for any errors that have crept it, but the tardis is blue and not yellow.
Someone named Martha is a doctor, and someone is very proud of her for it.
The eleventh and twelfth doctors like bow ties.
David Tennant wants to be ginger. David Tennant always gets what he wants. Who can refuse David Tennant? David Tennant is then ginger.
A David doctor gets a happy ending.
Someone yelled at Neil Gaiman about this. It was a mistake. He said that since it had already been done, he wouldn't want to give David's character a happy ending in S3, that would be a trifle unoriginal.
A lesson to be learned, Good Omens fandom, just a bit of advice from your son, do not yell at Neil Gaiman, it does not go well. Rumour has it he murdered the people who complained about him always wearing black. Of course, there is the fact that he doesn't exist, but that doesn't seem to have stopped him.
The doctors manifest in the previous doctor's clothes, which is apparently so last season. The tardis also manifests. I don't know where, or how. But it is blue, and not yellow.
I know, there was a lot of lore, so many of you thought I wouldn't be able to gather it all. But look how much research I did! I've got it better than maybe-actress-maybe-character Catherine, I'm sure :"]
Anyway, all the major plot points are covered above, so anyone who hasn't watched Doctor Who, feel free to refer to this and impress your Whovian friends with your knowledge! [not to be judgemental, but what a dreadfully Dr Seuss name, I rather like it]
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w0rmm1lk · 8 months
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Texting.
Reader: not mentioned.
characters: all characters i write for (besides kota and eri)
type: can be read as both platonic and romantic
sumarry: how i think the mha characters would text.
warnings: possible swearing, denki being denki.
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👾Mina Ashido👾
she abuses her emoji privledges. like nobody will ever receive a message from her that doesn't have an emoji. lots of all caps.
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👓Tenya Iida👓
oh you were texting him? bitch writes as if he's writing a formal email. your ass is lucky that he doesn't start that shit off with "I hope this message finds you well.". not even kidding will proof read every message he sends at least twice.
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♾️Ochaco Uraraka♾️
will end every message that isnt on a serious topic with :D. its so sweet tbh.
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⚡Denki Kaminari⚡
this man uses so many abbreviations that even if you think you use a lot just know you're learning a new one everyday. not even kidding makes up his own shit. once sent mina "lmkiydthesicci" and nobody could figure out wtf he meant. lowkey flirting with every mssg he sends. every single person in the class, girl or not has received a message from him that just says "hey bbg ;)". he received a very long lecture from iida and a very confused reply from todoroki. todoroki didn't actually know wtf bbg meant. thought he misspelled bbq at first.
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🪨Kirishima🪨
unironically sends messages that just say "rawr". uses the :} face a lot bc he thinks it looks like his unbreakable.
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🐙Mezou Shoji🐙
i feel like he has such a low screentime that if anyone needs to text him he's only available for like an hour a day. accidentally leaves ppl on read. messages seem very bland usually.
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❄️Shoto Todoroki🔥
another bland person but tbh hes the worst out of them all. like he can look at a whole paragraph asking him if he wants to go to the movies with the rest of the class and all he will reply with is just "ok." uses periods at the end of every message but I swear he's not mad.
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💥 Bakugo💥
if he receives any messages past 8pm the "reply" will be you getting left on delivered even if he's still up, or a message just saying "shut the fuck up and go to bed.". also bland but he's more of a "k" bland rather than a "ok." bland.
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🥦Izuku Midoryia🥦
he will not even kidding receive a message that just says "hi" and will send a whole paragraph that is basically just a lengthened "hi! how are you?". uses the smiley emoji a lot.
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💫Momo Yaoyorozu💫
lots of ! at the end of messages, you can feel the happiness through your phone screen. uses heart emojis at the end of messages and memorizes the meaning of each color so she can use them accordingly.
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🖤Shihai Kuroiro🖤
another :} user, sometimes uses :] but mainly :}. only ever texts ppl at hours like 2-4 am. you cant convince me he gets enough sleep.
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👔Neito Monoma👔
you think hed text you?/j kinda just an average texter, any message about class 1a will be in all caps.
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😈Dabi😈
oh look. another bland ass texter, at least he takes the time to actually type out "okay," only sends emojis if he's talking about how weird the emoji looks.
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🔪Himiko Toga🔪
uses :] all the time. not :}, or :). just :]. if anyone texts her, even if its just a simple "hi." and she isn't busy, congrats you've agreed to a 3 hour face time call.
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✋Tomura Shigaraki✋
he leaves everyone on read. if you question why he left you on read all you're getting is an "if its so important then talk to me face to face."
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🃏Mr. Compress🃏
so you know how earlier i said you were lucky Iida didnt start with "I hope this message finds you well,"? your luck ran out. he writes it like you're a long distant friend who he is sending some fancy ass shit letter to. not even kidding ends each message with "--Compress."
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🪽Hawks🪽
types so fast his phone doesnt even register his hands. half his messages be looking like "se tht ouds ood". he doesn't even bother to edit it or correct himself.
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👁️Aizawa👁️
he texts like a dad. texting this mf be like:
"ok👍"
"*photo of a weird boat*"
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🌙Midnight🌙
miss girl uses so many ;) that its hard to tell if shes suggesting something weird or not. ended every greetings message with that one kissy emoji.
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🙂Mirio Togata🙂
uses the 🙂 all the time because he thinks it looks like him. it does.
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🌀Nejire Hado🌀
lots of !!! and :D, also uses the :> a lot lol. lots of blue heart emojis aswell.
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🦋Tamaki Amajiki🦋
sends articles about different butterflies he likes or thinks the person he sends it to would like along with a message along the lines of "I think this fits you :]". rarely texts first but when he does he clicks send and sitts on the other side of the bed as his phone while staring at it intensely, just waiting for the reply notif. wont actually read the reply for a good minute.
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🐈‍⬛Hitoshi Shinsou🐈‍⬛
sends photos of random animals he sees while out and about. usually just cats. (no way this man doesn't feed the strays around ua) another person that only texts at night time.
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🛠️Mei Hastume🛠️
uses >:D a lot, shows blueprints of her new babies all the time, ngl they are usually rlly messy. texts are just :
"LOOK AT THIS NEW BABY IN PROGRESS >:D"
"* incomprehensible image of a blueprint *"
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⭐Yo Shindo⭐
uses the thumbs up way to much but like in the passive aggresive way yk? but also if you send him a photo of something ur proud of he will reply with a simple "oh that's cool!" but there's so much fucking emotion behind it ur just kinda like ???
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🛡Melissa Shield🛡
her messages are so sweet. sunset pictures of the ocean every other day. lots of :).
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wrote this is one go and now my hands hate me. i think this was at least 20 characters-? idk I'm struggling to count.
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darnell-la · 23 days
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𝗟𝗘𝗧 𝗚𝗢 𝗢𝗥 𝗬𝗢𝗨'𝗟𝗟 𝗛𝗨𝗥𝗧 𝗔𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥
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pairing: traumatized & emotional!logan howlett x mutant close friend!reader
warnings: heavy drinking, growing close, therapist friend, emotions, nightmares, a lot of blood, panicking, near death, regeneration, confessions, kisses, realization, conclusion, etc.
summary: after an unexpected night, Logan realizes the danger he is for sticking to the past. he had to learn to let go of the evil that never was right for him.
note: this story has NO SMUT, but we got Logan who’s an emotional mess and breaks apart after injuring y/n on a mistake.
follow our Instagram @ darnell.la so we can start posting random videos, photos, edits, and memes of the people we write about!
———
When Jean died, y/n was the only one there for Logan. The x men couldn’t see the pain he was in, but she could. When she’d make her nightly routine to get water from the kitchen, he’d be down there passed out on one of the kitchen chairs, or drinking until he got to that point.
Y/n would pass by him for weeks. They soon became a couple of months, but after a while, she felt bad. He wasn’t keeping himself up and any time he spoke to the crew, he had an attitude and was drunk.
Charles had banned him on missions until he got sober, but that wasn’t happening any time soon.
It took a while for y/n to talk to Logan without him pushing her away. One night he was crying in the living, and she walked in.
The woman sat next to him and softly patted his knee, trying to do something to calm him down. Before she knew it, the man pulled her into a tight hug as he sobbed.
That night he poured his heart out to y/n. She had to tell him that what he did to Jean wasn’t his fault and it had to be done. She asked, “How do you think Scott felt when he thought she was gone?”
Logan knew Jean, but she was confused about why her death hit him so hard. He explained that everyone he cares for eventually dies. He said he was cursed.
For the past year, y/n has worked with Logan almost daily as a side therapist. Some days she’ll have to force him to talk while others, he comes to her.
They grew close, now fighting by each other’s side, rarely being seen without the other, having their drinking nights and sometimes falling asleep together on the couch.
Logan would be the first to wake up, so he’d carry the young woman to her bed. The first several times, he would leave to his own, then after, he’d stay and sleep on her sofa.
“Jean?” Logan asked as he turned around in his bed, seeing the woman he killed, lying next to him in a white nightgown. “Is that really you?” He asked as he sat up, hand instantly rubbing her cheek.
“Yes,” her voice seemed low as her eyes stared into his. “I-I’m sorry, Jean,” Logan’s eyes began to tear up. “Please stay. I promise I won’t hurt you or anyone else again,” he begged.
Jean leaned into the man’s ear with a slight smirk and blinked slowly. “Too late,” she said. Logan had felt his hand tingle. He was confused until he looked down, seeing his claws inside of the woman’s stomach.
“No, Jean!” He yelled. There was a huge poodle of blood. “Jean, please, no!” He pulled his claws away before pushing down on her stomach. “You were born to hurt people,” she spoke before her eyes darkened.
Logan hated her hateful words. After she came back the last time, she’s been hurtful.
Jean’s mouth opened, now screaming at Logan’s face, making him close his eyes. “Logan,” I voice called which seemed so far. “L-Logan,” y/n choked as her hand wrapped around his wrists tighter, trying to wake him up.
Logan’s eyes slowly opened, realizing he was in a dream. “Logan,” y/n could barely speak as the blood in her throat began to form. The man looked down seeing his class in her stomach.
“No,” he spoke low, not believing it at first until her fingers slowly slipped from his wrists. Y/n’s body leaned back, about to crash onto the floor until Logan held her up with his arms.
“No — Y/n I-“ his words got stuck in his throat. He’s never done this to anyone before, and that someone had to be y/n. “Y/n, stay up,” the man’s hands now pressed on her stomach.
“O-Okay,” she looked into the man’s eyes as she tried breathing. The blood made it hard, and he knew that. Logan looked around the room, looking at a place to place her so he could go run for help.
“C’mon,” Logan got up, carrying the girl in bridal style for only a few seconds until he laid her on her bed. He had fallen asleep on her sofa again. Now he was regretting showing this little detailed affection towards her. If he just left her downstairs and went to his own bed, this wouldn’t have happened.
“Fuck- Why did you come near me. You know how I can get,” scared tears started slipping down Logan’s cheeks. How could he do this? To her or all people. “W-Wanted to h-help,” y/n has never sounded worse in her life.
“Shit- I-I need to get help,” Logan said before yelling through the house for Storm and Hank. “Storm! Hank!” Logan ran downstairs since that’s where their rooms are at.
“God,” Hank yanked in annoyance as Storm rushed out of her room. “What’s wrong? What happened?” Storm asked, not too worried until he looked down at his fist. It was covered in blood along with a few splatters on his white tank top and thick blue jeans.
“What the hell happened!?” Hank’s body froze. “Y/n, she was- She came up to me while I was sleep a-and I had a dream. A-A very bad dream and I stuck Jean but when I woke up-“ he tried finishing.
“You stuck her,” Storm imagined. Storm remembers when he stuck Rachel on her shoulder, but it has to be worse if that much blood is on his hands and he’s shaking.
“You stuck Jean?” Hank asked as Storm and Logan began jogging back upstairs. “No! No, it was a dream. A very bad fucking dream,”
“Where is she? In your room? Why was she in your room?” Storm grabbed Logan’s door handle until he stopped her. “No, she’s in hers,” he said before taking a deep breath, admitting that he was in her room.
“What?” She asked as she sped over across the hall to hers. “A-After we pass out on the couch, I’m usually the one who wakes up first so I- I carry her to her bed and pass out on her sofa,”
Storm sped through y/n’s open room door and gasped at the sight of her. Her middle body was covered in blood and her head was tilted to the side with her eyes closed. She looked lifeless.
“N-No, no!” Logan ran over to her to put pressure on the wound. “I told you to put pressure on the wound, y/n!” He yelled as he used one hand to slap at her face, he she wouldn’t wake up.
“How bad does it look- Oh fuck,” Hank quickly ran over to y/n. The man pressed his two fingers on her neck to check for a pulse, and he got one. A very slow and weak pulse.
“She’s still alive, but she needs to go to the lab. Now!” Logan quickly picked Y/n up, now running through the mansion as kids came out of their rooms. “I’ll get the kids back to bed,” Storm stated back to do her job.
“Please, y/n, don’t do this to me, please,” Logan could feel his heart rate rise as her body felt slumped. She gave no sign of any form of life.
“Place her on here, quickly,” Hank tapped the medical bed, and Logan did as told. “I’m going to have to sedate her before I work on her — I don’t think you should be in here for this,” Hank suggested.
“Why not!? I did this to her, so f-fuck how I feel about seeing you cut her open. I’m the one that stabbed her!” Logan felt all different emotions. He couldn’t help it.
“It’s not for your sake, it’s for mine. She’s my friend too, and I want to concentrate and keep her alive,” Hank said. “No, no — I-I can’t leave her. I don’t want to leave her!”
Logan shook his head side from side, refusing to leave. He has nothing else to do. He’d only be somewhere stressed and waiting for Hank to come to him with bad news.
“Logan — I’ve got this. But I need my space,” Hank said low as he touched Logan’s shoulder to calm the man down who was looking down at y/n with tears. The white nightgown was soaked in blood. She was losing so much.
“I-I’ll be back, y/n. Please don’t do this time me,” Logan tightly gripped the unconscious girl's hand, raising it to his mouth before he gave her a peck.
“Did she make it? Is she alive!?” Logan quickly got up as the door to his lab opened. The man sat there all night. Hank slowly walked out of the lab without saying a word.
“What? What, is she- D-Did I kill her? Is she dead!?” Logan felt his heart sink as he kept walking towards the man. “No — She’s actually just fine,” Hank spoke as y/n walked through the lab doors.
She had a medical gown on and looked healthier than ever.
Logan ran over to the girl and picked her up to hug her tightly as he cried in her neck. “I’m so sorry!” He sobbed as his fingers gripped her body, not wanting to let her go.
“It’s not your fault, Logan. Things happen, and I don’t want to hear otherwise,” she said, seeing his mouth open to argue. “You saved my life. That’s all you need to think about,”
Logan was lost for words as he placed y/n down. He couldn’t argue, and she looked alive. She was alive.
The man grabbed the girl's face a bit rough as he pulled her into a long and passionate kiss that was followed with apologies. Y/n’s soft hands grabbed his cheeks as well, pulling him in closer.
“No thanks to me, I guess,” Hank said as the two laughed in between their kiss. “Thank you, Hank,” Y/n pulled away from Logan and looked at the man who barely had to do anything.
“I’m completely joking. I barely had to do anything anyways,” Hank said which confused Logan. “What are you talking about?” Logan asked as he placed his hand over y/n’s wounds that he couldn’t feel. He thought the gown was in the way until he lifted the gown up to see no marks. Just her in a pair of medical tights.
“She regenerates, Logan. Just like you! — So perfect for each other,” Hank rubbed his hands together in excitement. “It only took awhile I’m guessing because this was the first time her skin was broken that bad,”
“I’m so sorry about that, y/n,” Logan instantly felt bad again. “No apologizing. I’m here now,” y/n softly grabbed Logan’s face again. “With me,” he added before kissing her again, but this time more passionately.
After that day, Logan and y/n built their relationship. He wasn’t so sure at first, but he couldn’t ignore the feelings he had grown for her. All the times he wanted to tell her this wouldn’t work, those pretty eyes would make him forget was he was going to tell her.
Logan has only had one nightmare after the night he almost killed y/n. He was furious when he saw Jean. She killed Scott, she killed Charles and almost had y/n killed.
He soon realized that women were never for him. He just grew feelings from the competition between him and Scott, but now that he’s gone, Logan couldn’t forgive and forget what she’s done.
It took a while for Logan to let Y/n lay in the same bed as him, but after she snuck into his room one night and he woke up to her wrapped around him peacefully — he couldn’t deny it anymore.
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jujutsubaby · 6 months
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🍒 only fans boyfriend!toji headcanons 🍒
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☆ pairing: toji fushiguro x afab!reader ☆ summary: blurb in which toji is your bf who helps you take your photos and videos for your onlyfans ☆ warnings: 18+ !! MINORS DNI !! dirty talking, nudes, sex work, penetrative sex, idk what else lol ☆ a/n: i'm having some serious toji brain rot send help
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bf!toji who first thinks of the idea of you doing an only fans after taking his millionth video of him pounding into you. he won’t lie, initially it was because he was tight on some cash and didn’t wanna borrow from you again, but he was convinced you could be some insane OF celebrity. “i’m not sure about it, toji. i don’t want randos to see my face…” you surmise. “c’mon, we’ll cover your face, doll, if that’s what you’re worried about. i swear, we could be raking in thousands from this.” the prospect of coming across a large amount of money like that was enticing…
bf!toji who suggests that you start out simple. “maybe just a shot of you wearing somethin’ cute for the camera, i dunno.” after work one day, you both go to a lingerie store and pick out a sheer pink babydoll slip on, with silky bows on the shoulders. at home, you fish out an old mid 2000s digital camera from the garage and present it to toji. “you’re gonna be my sexy photographer, right?” you tease, as you change into the babydoll slip dress. 
bf!toji who totally sucks at taking photos at first, but is a quick learner as he learns all your best angles and poses. turns out when money is on the line, he’s a hard worker after all. pictures of you sluttily sticking out your tongue, and the dress straps falling off your shoulders send toji into a frenzy, and you both take a quick sex break before going back to taking the photos.
bf!toji doesn’t know how to edit photos for shit so you use the minimal photoshop you know to spruce up your makeshift boudoir shoot. not to toot your own horn, but you kinda ate those pics up, and toji can’t get enough of it. at work, he’s partially distracted, fighting off enemies with half a brain as the other half is trying not to get turned on (one time, he did get turned on while fighting and it was awkward to say the least. the guy’s dead now so toji doesn’t really care). 
bf!toji who creates the OF account for you because you’re feeling too shy to do so. the interface is confusing for both of you at first, but you guys get the hang of it pretty easily. you post the boudoir photoshoot and immediately close the laptop because you’re terrified of it flopping. “the damage of no one subscribing to me, toji, i would die,” you say earnestly, feeling nauseous. “if no one subscribes to you, i’ll fuck the memory out of you, don’t worry,” he says nonchalantly as he picks a random show on netflix to watch. he’s not bothered by this even one bit and you think it’s because he doesn’t care but really, it’s because he’s that confident.
bf!toji who wakes up before you the next morning for work and quickly checks to see if your photos gained any traction. “holy shit, doll, wake up!” he practically pushes you off the bed as he shakes you and you groggily wake up, irked at the intrusion of your slumber. “toji, i swear to god i’ll kill y-” “you just got 300 subscribers overnight, shut up.” he says, cutting you off and meeting your lips with a tender kiss. you quickly pull back, eyes widening at the news. 
bf!toji who reassures you that you’re only gonna blow up more, and that’s why you need to post more photos and videos. it starts off small: simple photoshoots and more slutty lingerie. you arch your back as toji gets an ass shot with your camera. he slaps it hard, leaving a red handprint mark and snaps a couple more photos. 
bf!toji who encourages you to start doing videos after reaching over 1k subscribers. you do a little strip tease/dance while toji films, but the first time you do it, toji folds almost immediately and has you pinned under him. you try again the next day, and graduate to longer more explicit videos – fingering yourself, using toys, and live streaming. toji buys you a couple cute masquerade masks to use, too. 
bf!toji who loves it when you get donations during streams. he ends up creating an amazon wishlist for you of things you guys could really use around the house. he can’t remember the last time he bought you lingerie anymore because your donations would usually cover that cost. that being said, he always chooses lingerie for you. he knows exactly what other horny guys are looking for on girls. “doll, i know crotchless panties are awful but i know the male gaze – they don’t give a fuck. look, okay, i’ll buy you that one piece too, don’t give me that look.” he says to you as you throw in a bunch of lingerie of your liking in the cart. 
bf!toji who finally decides to join you in front of the camera, giving your fans what they wanted. the way he sees it, he fucks you senseless for free every night anyway, might as well get paid for it. toji makes a show to tear your nice lingerie off you and leaves visible marks in your skin from his touch as he pounds into you or bites your neck. 
bf!toji who joins you on your livestreams, and they usually end with you bent over a desk, skirt hiked up, and his arousal deep inside you. “you guys think she deserves to cum?” he asks the chat, feeling you clench against him. he knows you're close, and it turns you on knowing it’s out of your control on whether or not you get to feel a release. your fans love your pornographic and lewd moans, but with toji fucking you, you don’t even have to act for them to come out of your mouth naturally. speaking of your mouth, toji especially loves when you have a masquerade mask on while he makes your little throat gag. you love it when he tests your gag reflex on camera in front of an audience, and everyone can tell when they see you soaked through your panties.
bf!toji who surprises you by taking you on a lavish vacation to bora bora when you reach over 10k subscribers. “we built this shit together,” he says, talking about your OF fame and money. you can’t remember the last time you guys worried about paying rent, and he wanted to do something special for his slutty little doll. he got one of those seaside huts surrounded by a private deck. your breath is taken away by the surprise, and toji wastes no time getting all your clothes off and getting you into the water. the makeout session turns into him fingering you underwater as he pushes your bikini to the side. after coming all over his fingers, you give him a handjob under the water, and toji has to quickly climb out of the pool so he doesn’t cum inside it and has to request a clean up on the very first day. 
bf!toji who fucks you more times than you can count in the water, on the bed, in the infinity pool, that one time super discretely under the blanket in the beach. you bring up the idea of filming a little here and there on vacation. “what? the grind never stops,” you say jokingly as you set up the camera on the tripod in front of the bed. he surprises you by using some silk ribbons to tie your hands back while he licks and kisses every inch of your body, focusing especially on your sensitive nipples erect for the camera. he blindfolds you, hands still tied back while he eats you out. the electrifying sensations are amplified in the darkness of the blindfold, and you make an absolute mess on the sheets and his mouth. 
bf!toji who uses the last night of your trip there to convince you to film one more video, this time on the private infinity pool outside your hut. you come out with a black strappy bikini with a sheer babydoll cover up. “don’t take off your clothes just yet, doll. just come in the water.” he commands, and you slowly get into the water. his silhouette looks ethereal in the golden hour of the sunset as you approach him. he cradles your jaw and kisses you deeply and passionately.  
bf!toji pulls away from you and guides you to the edge of the pool that stares out to the pink sunset and the turquoise ocean. “what? gonna fuck me while looking at the sunset like a stupid romantic?” you jeer, poking his chest. he chuckles nervously. “eventually…”
bf!toji who pulls a small black box from behind him and opens it to reveal a big shiny diamond ring. tears start freely falling down your cheeks and you don’t even hear what toji is saying (you feel a little bad – he must’ve prepped this speech for a while but you were far too emotional to process anything). all you do is nod your head vigorously as he gently puts the ring on finger. a perfect fit. and it glistens just perfectly in the dimming sun.
fiance!toji who then fucks you into the sunset like a stupid romantic.
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rad-batson · 1 year
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The Batkids and The Arts (Feral Edition)
They’re all musical theatre nerds. Every single one of them. Bruce, Alfred, Dick, Cass, Jason, Steph, Tim, Duke, Damian. They go see Broadway shows together then don’t stop talking about it for like a week. It is the one bonding activity they will never pass up.
Jason and Steph once entered a ballroom dancing competition and won after some pompous rich kids insulted their moves during a gala. Since then, they’ve entered a competition every month or so just for fun. (And for the prize money :P)
Tim is an avid believer that Culinary Art is one of The Arts. (Can he cook? Absolutely not. It was Bernard that convinced him, but he stands by it.)
Duke talks through every single movie he watches. He always promises to be quiet at the beginning, but then he gets too excited and whispers commentary to the people around him. This habit has since bled into the entire family. They are no longer welcome at the local AMC.
Every single one of them is pretentious about something.
Dick is pretentious about any and all performance arts featured at the circus. Once, someone made a joke about going to “Clown School” and Dick screamed at them about how not even their pinky would have the privilege of being admitted into clown school.
Jason is pretentious about classic literature. They can no longer tell if his jokes and references to Shakespeare and Jane Austen are correct or if he’s just fucking with them.
Cass gets pretentious about martial arts being a performance art. She is also pretentious about ballet being a martial art. She could kill a man in fifth position without losing her balance, and that’s a fucking fact.
Stephanie is very good at acting pretentious about the arts. She absorbs everything she’s learned from the rest of the bat family’s interests then pretends to be pretentious about it to mock them while sneaking in just enough correct information so no one can call her out on it. (Her true interest is graphic design.)
Tim has no professional experience with photography, but he will be pretentious about it like he knows everything. (Bruce: Tim, why is there a filter on this evidence photo you took? Tim: I thought it looked nicer that way. Really makes the blood splatter pop.)
Duke isn’t exactly pretentious about writing, but he will lay down his life for the Oxford comma. (Bruce didn’t use it until Duke called the punctuation in his mission reports “insulting.” He now uses it.)
Damian is pretentious about studio art. If he ever hears his family or friends say, “I don’t get it,” at an art museum, he will make them look at it for five minutes as he explains in painstaking detail what’s so revolutionary about it.
The kids decided to take an improv class together once for their undercover work while Bruce and Alfred were out of town. It was so fun that they still play improv games when they’re bored.
Cass is secretly a metalhead.
Whenever one of the younger kids needs to write an English paper, they will just walk up to Jason, riddle off a dumb opinion about the book or poem they had to read, and record whatever Jason ends up lecturing them about. The most recent incident resulted in an award-winning paper about how the theory that William Shakespeare never wrote his own work is deeply rooted in classism.
Damian always has paint under his nails. It just never comes out.
Dick has personally taught everyone in the family how to do The Perfect Backflip. They all get a little ceremony once they’ve mastered it. There is cake.
Whenever Cass is standing around with nothing to do, she’ll practice her foot positions for ballet. The others always notice and follow her lead.
Jason: dramatically recites a poem in the living room Steph: starts beatboxing
Steph is always the first to find typos or continuity errors in a book, play, or movie. She doesn’t intend to; it’s just second nature to her. (She is now Duke’s official proofreader.)
Duke: So how’d you like the movie? Damian: I really loved the mise-en-scène, especially during the breakfast scene and that one shot near the end with the warehouse doors. Duke: *nods thoughtfully* Everyone Else Leaving the Theater: wtf is a meez on sen?
When Duke is finished writing something and wants to share it with his family, he’ll give it to Jason and Cass first.
Jason and Duke have frequent passionate arguments discussions about who is the best poet. Never bring up Dickinson, Poe, Shakespeare, Hughes, Plath, Wilde, Kipling, Sappho, or Angelou in their vicinity unless you want to start it up again.
Damian is surprisingly good at acting. Too good.
Dick knows your music taste before you do. He has a carefully curated playlist for every single family member, every possible combination of family members, and every possible mood at the ready.
They can and will correct anyone who mistakes Gothic architecture for Victorian or Gothic Revival and vice versa. (It’s really a Gotham thing.)
Tim: How dare you call The Grand Budapest Hotel the best prison break movie when it’s clearly The Shawshank Redemption! Jason: Well, as someone who’s BEEN TO PRISON, I think I should know! Dick: It’s clearly Chicken Run! You’re all just Chicken-ist. Duke: But what about Midnight Express?! That one’s so good! Steph: Has anyone mentioned Toy Story 3 yet? No? Damian, watching from the sidelines: I liked Escape from Alcatraz. Cass: Same.
There are several art pieces in the manor that have been positioned directly over top of bullet holes and other suspicious damages.
Damian and Duke made an animated short film once for the Gotham Film Festival. Dick and Cass were their models for the concept art. Tim did historical research. Jason helped Duke edit the storyboard, and Steph was the continuity supervisor. It was about a British super spy working for MI6 that saved the world in the late 70’s. It was titled Agent A.
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aajjks · 6 months
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Silent Cries (m)
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synopsis. Not everything could go his way and he had to learn this the hard way
Disclaimer: this is pretty dark. Read at your own risk. Please keep in mind that this is purely fictional and I don’t think that Jungkook or any Bts member would ever act like this! Read with caution.
warning: ünhëälthy thèmès, fèrtïlïty ïssǔès, prègnâncy, öbsëssïön, mèntïöns ôf âbörtïön, dïvörcè, sèxüǎl thêmês, cryïng, yn rèálly wánts á báby, dêprèssïön, dárk thêmês.
note. Let’s welcome this new JK to my Multiverse. I hope you will ask him fun questions as well, and I hope you will love him even though he’s a little ☠️ ENJOY! 
Header credit: @callingholly ❤️
***NOT EDITED***
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You were told that you were not capable of having children, but… jungkook accepted that part of you. you know why.. it is because he loves you, and he never wanted children.
The day is gloomy, more than usual. You stand on the bathroom floor, your gaze is blurry. unshed tears in your eyes as you stare at the pregnancy test. The stick trembles in your hands. It is all over now.
You close your eyes in order to erase the image out your eyes. The image of two straight lines on the stick. You are supposed to feel really happy.
But why Fate is never really on your side?
Does God really hate you that much? All of your life, there was nothing but suffering, your parents never cared about you.
You and your husband, Jungkook- you love him, you really do but he’s just sometimes too much to bear. you’ve been having some problems in your marriage and you almost were considering divorce but now?
now, you are carrying another innocent life inside of you. That could be ruined because of you. Because of Jeon Jungkook, who ruins everything.
The thing is that he doesn’t want a child. He freaks out over the idea of having a child.
You sob at how pathetic you are. How could you let this happen? You are pregnant, with his child. You want to die. But now, you can’t do that.
If there’s anything you and him are not compatible with? It’s your family plan. You’ve always wanted children. Unlike your husband.
And no matter what his reaction is going to be, you can’t help but grab your belly, wiping your tears that fall.
You are going to have this baby. You can’t kill it- your husband will suggest it, you know him so well.
Because you are not a killer. You can’t kill the little life inside of you. That you so desperately wanted all your life. You’ve prayed for this moment.
And even though you have made your decision,
Panic rises in your chest as you come out of the bathroom and look at Jungkook’s and yous wedding photos that litter the creamy beige walls. Thankfully, he’s not home right now so you will have some time to relax and plan how to tell him.
But- it’s almost time.
He could be home any minute now! The ticking of the clock almost warns you. Time is going.
You throw the stick in the dumpster. He’s going to find it anyways. you have no idea why you feel so nervous… You feel like you are being suffocated. And you can’t be saved.
As your hand rests on your yet to be swollen stomach, something switches in you. You have to be strong now. You need to survive for your child. You have to make him understand. This child will be a blessing for the both of you. You are going to become strong.
You are going to change everything just for the sake of your child. Because this little bean is now the reason for your existence. Maybe this could fix your marriage-because you really don’t want to leave your husband-you’re not sure about what you want..
You quickly wipe the tears as a small smile paints your lips. Your grandma raised you to be strong and you can just give into Jungkooks stupid demand. You are going to be like your grandma, who raised you, took care of you. Became your mum, that you never had.
This baby is just as jungkook as yours too, and it is going to become your strength. This baby is a gift from God, your saving grace.
Your husband was really happy on the particular day, when you had been told about your fertility issues, he made it really clear that he never wanted children, he always wanted it, to be him and you.
Your thoughts are cut off short when the doorbell rings. And the main door unlocking. talk of the devil? And He shall appear.
You inhale a deep breath.
Time to do this.
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“I’m pregnant, Jungkook.” The words come out of your mouth so easily. Jungkook who is cuddling, your body, a habit he has. Looks up at you.
He is currently laid in your lap, and he starts to laugh at you.
You want to roll your eyes, but this reaction is not really that surprising from him and you just have to be calm and collected right now.
“I-I’m so sorry? But you’re pregnant?” He stops laughing, as he wipes his tears. he looks so bad you with his brown eyes and you can tell he’s waiting for you to say that you’re kidding but you’re not.
You just smile at him in pity. Your nod of confirmation was all it took for Jungkook to start panicking.
“W-What are you saying!? Y-You can’t be! You can’t be pregnant!!” He gets up from your shared bed as he runs his hand frantically through his hair. His dark damp, long locks hiding his eyes.
What the fuck is he talking about? His words hit a nerve in you. He knows damn well how you got pregnant.
“What the fuck Jungkook! How can you ask me how I’m pregnant?! It’s because of you! You did this!” You scream at the panicking man.
“because I thought you weren’t supposed to get pregnant?!” He’s right about that but it’s not like you planned on this to happen. You also thought that you couldn’t have children.
So what was the point in using protection birth control, like he always said to you. You just both have to deal with the consequences of your actions.
“B-But yn! I don’t want a child.” There we go.
“There is not supposed to be someone else between us! Not a-a baby!” Jungkook cries desperately as he grabs you by the shoulders and shakes you as if you’ll understand his point. You get up from the bed.
If it’s an argument he wants, you’ll give him that.
You cannot believe that he’s crying right now.
You glare at the doe eyed man who is looking at you as if you have grown two heads. “Jungkook! You disgust me.” You spit at him. You can’t believe him, he is such a selfish person. Jungkook flinches at the coldness of your tone as his grip loosens on your shoulders.
His voice comes out rough and broken but he keeps on apologising to you. “Y-Yn P-Please! Y-You don’t mean that r-right? You can’t! Y-You love me! Just me! And no one else! We need to get rid of this baby!” He rambles on like a madman and as your brain register his words his last sentence hits you and your eyes widen in disbelief.
Why are you even surprised? Even though you knew he was going to say that? it just hurts a little bit more hearing it coming from his own mouth without any hesitation.
“W-What?! A-Are you hearing yourself Jungkook? You-You’re suggesting that I-I kill my unborn child?” Tears well up in your eyes, and they immediately start to fall down your cheeks at Jungkook’s suggestion. You avert your gaze away from Jungkook’s crazed eyes.
“You’re a sick bastard! Fucking monster!” You sob at him. Your curses don’t seem to affect him, it is like he has gone numb, the irony. He stands still.
“No. one. can. come. between. us.” Jungkook’s silent whispers could be heard by you. You massaged your temples, now there was only one option left.
“If this baby dies then I’ll die with it. And if you don’t want this baby..” you take in a breath. He always gets your blood pressure so high.
“If you don’t want this baby that means you don’t want me either, so I will just divorce you because I have been thinking about it. you are becoming too much for me to deal with it’s time you fucking grow Up!”
“I will have this baby because this is the only ray of hope in my life. Now, it’s your choice, Jungkook.” Your words come out of your mouth carefully. You wait for his response. 
But all you get is silence.
When he doesn’t respond you decid to leave the room, but a loud sob holds you back. Did you mention that your husband is actually pathetic and good for nothing?
Yes, he’s rich but, so what? Yes, he handsome in the first man you loved but now you’re beginning to regret it.
His rough screams for you please you, oddly his suffering pleases you to the core.
It was about time he suffered.
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“B-Be careful Y/N!” Jungkook instructs you while you laid down on the bed, your hands coming to caress your 6 months pregnant belly. His eyes are fixated on your movements, never left your belly as he smiled softly.
“Y/N just one month is left until our baby is here!” Soft giggles left his mouth as he laid beside you and caresses your stomach. “You look so beautiful like this! You’re pregnant with my child. You’ll be the mother of my child. We’re going to be parents! Now, everyone would know that you’re mine! This baby will make us inseparable, y-you won’t be able to leave me now!” Another chuckle vibrates from his chest.
You’re not sure what has happened to him these past few months but you’re glad that there’s improvement.
Maybe it was your threat to divorce and that got his head straight.
But meanwhile…
He could look at you forever and not get bored. You look so ethereal with your belly swollen because of him. He made you like this. The thought of that really pleases him.
Now you couldn’t ever think of leaving him! This child has bounded you to Jungkook forever.
Your tired voice brings him back to reality, “Jungkook he’s going to be so beautiful and cute! I love the little shoes that your parents bought for him oh! And his little clothes?? And the baby bathtub? His nursery is by far my most favourite! My lovely son! I can’t wait to meet you! Mommy loves you so much!” You talked to the baby. An exciting smile gracing your features.
Yeah, it’s a little boy. And his parents are so excited for their first grandchild.
Everyone is excited about him, even his friends are excited to become uncles.
He doesn’t understand what is the breed about having a little child, because all they do is cry and fuss. And poop.
Jungkook scoffs at you cooing at the child who wasn’t even born yet. You used to coo at him like this. Jungkook was supposed to be your baby! Jealousy slowly starts to creep up again.
He needs to stay calm. But how can when his brain is just refusing to give him any peace.
A thousand scenarios run through his mind. What if you don’t love him anymore? Or what if you will give the baby more attention than Jungkook? Or worse, what if the baby will completely take his place in your heart? And worst of all, what if you completely forget about him?
“Kook! Jungkook! Your phones buzzing! It’s Eunwoo!” You shake his shoulders to get his attention, your husband has a tendency to zone out.
You couldn’t help but wonder about what he’s thinking about so focused?
“Jungkook!” your tone got louder this time. Jungkook finally blinked as he smile at you.
“O-Oh I’m so sorry Y/N! Please pass me my phone, princess?” You decide to let go the urge of asking what was he thinking so deeply about and pass him the phone.
Jungkook kisses your lips quickly as he excuses himself out. You nod, and he smiles brightly while picking up the phone. You then focus on the book.
It makes sure that he’s away from you. The large house has a lot of benefits to it, whenever he wants to complain? he can just come in one of the rooms and scream.
As soon as he leaves the room a cry left him. “Eunwoo! I-I need your help! I-I don’t want this baby! He will steal Y/N away from me! N-No that can’t happen! Help me please! Y-Y/N is already slipping away from my grip! Help me get rid of this baby! Please!” Jungkook rambles on like a maniac through the phone while on the other line, Eunwoo sighs heavily.
“calm down first.” He spoke timidly. Jungkook took a deep breath. He’s right, Jungkook needs to get a grip on himself first.
“Now listen, we talked about this.” Eunwoo’s tone changed. “W-What!?” The long haired male rolls his eyes, because he knows he’s about to get lectured But a lecture is not what he needs. Jungkook needs a solution to his problem.
“I don’t think you should do something so immoral like that…” Jungkook got confused. What is he talking about?
“W-We can’t kill him! Y-Y/N wouldn’t want that! N-No!” Jungkook clearified. Jungkook couldn’t displease you.
“What are you implying?” Eunwoo took in a deep breath.. “having a child with her is a good thing, kook. That’s what I’ve been trying to make you understand… she will be with you forever.”
Of course you will be with him forever because it’s not like he will let you divorce him but why does everyone keep saying that a child will make your relationship only stronger?
You don’t even touch him.. anymore. Maybe it’s the sexual frustration catching up to him. Maybe everyone is right.
Jungkook’s eyes widen at eunwoo’s voice. He’s not exactly wrong though. Jungkook take some moment to think about this all over again.
He did read on the Internet that sex will help induce labor-and if he will tell you that you will definitely give in to him. He cannot believe that he’s thinking about that right now, but he can’t help it.
There’s still three months left in your delivery. He can wait for three months, right? Or maybe he could just seduce you into bed tonight.
Why are you not horny. Women tend to get really hormonal with your hormonal issues. Don’t have anything to do with your sex drive.
He will fix that.
A dirty smile is now on Jungkook’s face. He holds the phone tighter as he speaks the final words to eunwoo.
“Thanks man! For always helping me! I owe you.” He smiles and sighes.
You have always given him what he wanted, jungkook he always managed to get his way with you, so maybe this time it should be you in his place.
“No problem man! It’s just like how you helped me get my girl… Seeing you like this with yn makes me remember when I was at your place... but I am glad that you have understood because she deserves to be happy..”
Jungkook chuckles loudly. “Of course! What are brothers for?” Jungkook’s eyes darken, because he knows that as much as eunwoo would like to think that he’s different from jungkook, he’s not.
He’s also right about the fact that you deserve to be happy. That’s why he’s been so hopeful supportive during your pregnancy.
“Let’s see when the baby comes..”and after saying goodbye to his friend? Jungkook walks back to your shared bedroom.
There you are, hand on your belly and your eyes scrunched together at the book you’re reading. He smiles at the sight.
No one could ever come between you and him. Not even his own blood. He belonged to you and you belonged to him. And the baby can never come between you and Jungkook.
You will have to decide the baby’s fate.
It all depends on you now.
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luvleyk · 3 months
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*+:。It's your turn to be my model 。:+*
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♡𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Bada Lee x Fem reader
♡𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: you grew some kind of feelings towards her even tho you two just met for a photoshoot and you were her model. But what if she feels the same?
♡𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 1.9k
♡𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐒𝐌𝐔𝐓 (𝐌𝐃𝐍𝐈), model! Bada, photographer! Reader, top Bada x bottom reader, praise kink, pet names, fingering, strap on sex, you're a sucker for her (me too).
♡𝐀/𝐍: this is my first fic and post, so please bear with me if there are some grammatical errors and stuff (english is not my first language and I'm still learning a lot AAAAA), wasn't proofread so expect that there some typos.. Also I'm open for request!!
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
"Hmm? I thought you liked this?" she asked in a low tone as she continues to thrust the strap inside you, chuckling as she watches you becoming a mess, underneath her. "You're the one who asked for this, so, why are trying to pull away, hm?" she added as she lifts your leg and pinned it against your chest, giving her access to go deeper inside you. You whined a moan as you felt her thumb rubbing a circle on your bundle of nerves, giving you a overwhelming stimulation. You're getting sensitive.
You don't even know how you two ended up like this. All you know is that, she's fucking you into oblivion to the point you're starting to see stars and your mind was only filled with her and her only.
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇  ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
You met Bada as your model client since she was given the opportunity to be a model on a fashion magazine and you're the assigned photographer to take photos of her. But since you're the type who's timid and shy, you're somewhat anxious since you'll be working with her and who knows what's her personality is like or something..
It's your day two of working with her. And during that day with her you've notice that she's nice, kind of intimidating (based on your perspective) but though, she's easily to interact which made you easily get comfortable around her. And which you grew some kind of attachments.
As the day passed and you're already done with your work, just need to edit her photos and give it to the management. You were preparing for yourself to leave when you heard her call your name..
"Hey, Y/N... You know.. This'll be the last time that we will meet.." She started..
"So I was thinking if we could hang out in my house? Just have a bit of dinner, here and there.. If you would like?" she added as she looked at you with a hint of hope that you would accept her offer..
You look up to her as you tilted your head to the side. 𝘊𝘶𝘵𝘦. She thought.
"You're inviting me for a dinner?" You asked as you point yourself, which you receive a quiet chuckle from her.
"Well, of course, love." she answered with a nod..
Of course, you can't say no to an offer. "Sure.. I'll just fix my stuff, real quick" you said softly as you went to a desk where your stuff was.
Once you're done, she helped you carry your bag as you both exited the studio.. You both reach her car, opening the door for you to enter. You smiled as you get inside of her car, she closed the door and walk to the other side to get into the driver seat and start the engine.
"Since it'll took us about 15 minutes to drive through my house. Why don't we have a little bit of chit chat?" She suggest, making sure the whole trip wouldn't awkward for you as her attention was focused on the road.
You nodded slowly. "Sure.. That seems fun.." You said.
She hummed, as if she's thinking on what she would ask or say.. "So.. I was wondering... How long have you been a photographer?" She asked, which made you tilt your head..
"Well.. if you're talking about my job.. Well it's been 2 years.. But if you're talking about my experience, then it's 14 years.." Her eyes slightly went wide in shock after she heard your answer..
"14 years? Wow... Well I guess you really love your passion, no?" she asked, which you nodded in return..
You two fall into silence until you two reach her place. She helps you get off from the car and guided you inside.. "Sorry in advance if my place is kinda messy.. I'm sure you're the type who's neat and stuff.." She said in a joking manner before chuckling..
You laughed softly... "Oh no... it's fine... I don't mind it tho.." You replied with a slight smile.
She hummed before walking towards the door as she grab her keys on her pocket, unlocking the door and gesturing you to come in first.
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
She made you dinner, you two share stories together while eating, and laugh together. It's fun. You thought. Your admiration grew wild towards her, to the point it's scary.. You just met her, and you easily get attached to someone you barely knew. You sighed, which Bada quickly noticed.
"Hey, something's wrong?" She ask as she gently holds your hand.
Something sparked within you when she took a hold of your hand in a gentle way. You look at her, seeing her sitting in front of you with a soft and gentle smile on her face.
You slightly shake your head. "It's nothing.." You replied which you earned a frown from her.
"Hmm.. Alright. I'm not gonna force you to say it." She said quietly before letting go of your hand as she finish her meal.
You two became silent again.. It's making you anxious, for some reason.
You were done eating and was about to say something when she suddenly talk. "You know.. I just noticed, within the two days, you suddenly felt comfortable around me?" she started, causing your cheeks to burn...
"H-huh... W... What... I mean" you pauses to regain your composure back.. "I mean... I don't want to be awkward while working with you.. So... I'm trying my best.." you added quietly.
She chuckled. "That's true..." she uttered as she stood up and grab both of your empty plates, putting it on the sink. She turned around, walking towards you. "Are you... Are you gonna leave after this?" she sudden ask, making you look up to her..
"I.. well... If there's nothing else to do... Yes.." You said, though you're hoping for her to make you stay just for a bit.. "I'll have to edit your photos for the fashion magazine..." you added before chuckling awkwardly..
"Oh.." she uttered before nodding..
"I could stay for a bit if you want." You quickly said. At this point you're making yourself look so desperate, but you don't care. You just want to spend your time with her.
A smile crossed her face. "Well. Sure.. That would be lovely.." She said as you stand up from sitting on the chair.. "What do you want to do? We could watch some movies or talk?" she suggests.
You shrugged.. "I'm fine with anything, to be honest." You replied, causing her to nod.
She hold your hand as she guided you to the living room, making you sit on the couch as she stands in front of you. "I don't know what to do, since it's my first time having a guest in my house. Mostly I'm the one who gets invited into this kind of stuff. So bare with me for a bit" She said and you chuckle..
"Ah... It's fine.. Take your time" You said while nodding. She hummed as she nodded back before leaning forward so that you two have same eye level. The same feeling from earlier came back as you leaned back against the couch.
She tilts her head on the side as she reached out to tuck your hair behind your ear. "I just noticed that you're very cute from up close." She suddenly said, causing your cheeks to burn again as you avert your gaze..
"Y.. You're being random.." You uttered before looking back at her.. "How about we watch a movie?" You suggests, trying to shake off this weird feeling inside of you.
"We could do something else, that is fun." she hummed.
"Like what?"
She hummed for a bit. Her fingers that was tucking your hair from earlier, slowly trail down on your neck, causing you to involuntarily flinched by her touch. "Oh?" she uttered as she raised her eyebrow before chuckling, continuing to explore your sensitive skin, earning a muffled noise coming from you.
You hold onto her wrist as she cup your cheeks, forcing you to look up at her. "Do you want me to stop, love?" she asked, her voice was hushed.
"C.. Continue.. Please.." you uttered. She's just mildly touching you and you're already feeling something weird between your legs.
She chuckled quietly.. "So polite.." She praised in a low tone as she plant a kiss on your forehead. "Want to continue this in my bedroom?" she asked, which she earned a quick nod from you.
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
And now she's fucking you. She pulled out her strap as she plunge her long slender fingers inside you, causing you to let out a weak moan. "Mhm.. Baby, you feel good, right? Tell Bada if you feel good." She said in a low tone as she thrust her fingers deeper, inside.
"A.. F... Feels good... Please.. Faster..." you plead which she obliged.
She hovers on top of you as she devours your lips, her fingers were moving in a fast pace, causing you to moan loudly between the kiss..
The kiss became sloppy, as if she's getting drunk by your moans and the wet sound while thrusting her fingers inside of you.. She pulled slightly as she looked at you, her eyes filled with admiration, looking at your flushed, drunken face..
She pulled her fingers out, causing you to whine. But quickly moaned when she pushed the tip of her strap back in and start thrusting again, but this time a little bit deeper and rough..
"Fuck... I've been wanting to do this with you.. Fuck.." she uttered as she rest her left hand between on the side of your head as a support as her other hand went to cup your right breast. "So beautiful. Am I fucking you too good, princess?" she groaned. You nodded. At this point, you can't even utter a word anymore.. She's too good.. You feel like you're gonna faint any moment.
You can't even focus on what's happening right now, her whispers of sweet nothings became incoherent in you ears.
You gripped onto the bedsheets as you arched your back, climax starts to build up inside you.
"B... Bada..." You moaned as she hummed..
"You're close, baby?" she asked and you nodded eagerly.
She thrust in a fast pace. The sound of your moan filled the every corner of her room.
After you feel like forever you feel your orgasm hits you in a tidal wave. Trembling underneath her, she rides your orgasm with a few thrust before gently pulling out. She remove the harness and tossed it on the floor as she lay besides you, planting some kisses all over your face.
"How do you feel, love?" She asked as she wipes your sweat by her fingers..
You let out a weak moan as you move closer to her, causing her to wrap her arms around your body... "G.. Good.." You uttered and she nodded as a response.
"You know the moment I met you. I've already taken an interest towards you. But you know. I'm not really sure since we've only know each other for 2 days only..." She admits quietly..
"Me too.." you said.
"Really?" she asked in disbelief before laughing quietly and planting a kiss on your head..
"How about we take a rest for a bit? I'll clean you up later."
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exlibrisseverus · 7 months
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The torn bond of friendship
The silence between us every time we meet makes my heart ache.
You avert your gaze just so you don't have to look me in the eye. I know that you don't hate me. But to be honest, I'd rather have your hate than your pity.
You wish things had gone differently. But I can't change for you the way you would like me to. Nevertheless, you are important to me.
(You always will be.)
[I tried to put myself in his shoes and that's how these few lines came about. The background in the illustration is a photo I took, it's the view from my window.]
The artist's commentary – psychological aspect/my two cents…
->
Nobody is perfect, no human being is.
Especially not adolescent teenagers who literally have almost no idea about life. Who lack empathy, compassion, maturity, experience and so many other things. All of us have certainly lost a friend at some point in our childhood or adolescence. Close friendships at a young age and the experiences associated with them can have a strong influence on our behavior later in life. All of a person's first intensive relationships with family, friends, etc., whether positive or negative, shape their world view and character immensely.
We can't expect a young person to be flawless and perfect. Maturity comes with years and experience. It is not uncommon for children and youth to be self-centered and egocentric, but that does not make them bad people. To a certain extent, selfishness is even important. As we grow up, we learn to act autonomously, make decisions and form our own opinions. It is clear that we can make mistakes during this process and possibly hurt others. We all make mistakes on our journey through life, that is part of growing up. That is a part of this life.
I have to remind myself each time that they were practically still children as at that time.
Sorry for my poor English, it’s not my native language. I do my best though. Thanks for reading 🖤
(Additional edit 10.02.2024 Tumblr confuses me a little bit, i was wondering why my previous image lost it’s quality after uploading. It took me too long to draw and i need to show the details. Anyways for better detailed view -> I’ve split the artwork. 😌)
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