#this is why i didnt post anything for like two days
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It's a late Friday evening in Midorijima, and that means that it's time for the weekly Benishigure meetup at the Black Needle. It's always a good opportunity to meet new members, get drunk, and have some fun with the other guys you'd usually miss due to conflicting schedules. Today's meeting is a bit more special- Aoba decided to join in, which he doesn't always do. He's the boss' boyfriend, but he's not officially a member himself- he has, however, gotten close to the gang in the time they've been together, so everyone just treats him like an honorary Benishigure, which both makes him happy, in a way, and annoys him to no end, given all the attention he recieves and the fact that he's a subject of never-ending jokes and bits (in a friendly way, of course).
Everyone's a bit drunk by now, laughing and toasting for anything that comes to their heads, no matter how small and insignificant. Koujaku is smoking a cigarette and sipping on his sake, taking it all in and quietly enjoying seeing the people he brought together. Aoba had a bit to drink too; He rarely does, but something tempted him to drink today- perhaps a desire to join in and fully enjoy the atmosphere was stronger than his usual convictions.
The conversation turns to relationships, as it always does at some point when a group of drunks congregates.
"Wait, how long have you two been together? Like, a year?" One of the Benishigures asks as he turns to Aoba and Koujaku. "That's pretty impressive, I gotta admit- it's probably the longest anyone stayed with Koujaku"
He barks a laugh, like he was suprised at how funny he found his own joke. Aoba looks at Koujaku with suspicion, but he only responds with a grin and a sly look in his eye- completely unmoving, cigarette still held in his teeth.
"You thought about tying the knot yet? I'm telling ya, if you managed to keep him around for a year, that means you gotta have something special going on."
"I doubt any shrine would be willing to do the ceremony for two guys." Aoba rolls his eyes. He's mostly trying to convince himself; Both he and Koujaku are respected in their local community, so he has no doubt that their potential union would be honored. He thinks that this whole "being in a relationship with a man" had sunken into his mind by now, but in moments like these, he really worries that he will never internalize it fully.
"Since when do you need a shrine?" The Benishigure snorts dismissively and waves his hand around with no grace at all; His eyes have a spark in them that already tells Aoba that he came up with something only a drunk could make up. "You're already with your friends and family, right...? And everyone's wasted on sake...? All we need now is for the lovebirds to smooch." He grins. "I can even be your official, if you want"
He raises his mug, beer and froth sloshing with his uncoordinated movements and begins to chant "KISS! KISS! KISS!", his yell echoing through the bar. All the other members at the table quickly abandon whatever they were talking about and join in, not knowing what they're cheering for, but knowing that it's paramount to see their leader and his boyfriend make out at the table this instant.
This unrest finally rouses Koujaku. He knows that Aoba doesn't enjoy being the center of attention, and especially not when he's being goaded into doing something by a bunch of rowdy, drunk dudes. He usually trusts his men to know when to cool it when it comes to teasing Aoba, but it seems like alcohol might've clouded their judgement.
He grabs his cigarette between his slender fingers and opens his mouth to speak. Before he manages to make a single sound, Aoba is pressing his lips against his, tasting the smoky flavor of the kiss. The room erupts in cheers, and the clinking of glasses and mugs raised in toast adds to his overwhelmed state.
In a way though, Koujaku is oddly gleeful about it all; He never expected to get married, or at least not like that- when he was younger, he'd probably imagine a serious, grim ceremony where he's forced to marry a girl he never saw before, one that was chosen by his father in order to strenghten their family's position in the criminal underword. Nowdays he has no family he could invite to such a ceremony, but the Benishigure are the closest thing he has, and he loves them like he would his own blood, so getting married while listening to their howls and cheers is probably how he'd like it to go anyway. As for Aoba... Being able to be around him in any capacity was a dream come true; Koujaku knew that he himself is never going anywhere anyway. But thinking about Aoba pledging his loyalty to him with such fervor, and in front of so many other people... He's just happy he's not a crying kind of drunk. Instead, he chooses to cup Aoba's head with his free hand, gently rustling the short, stiff hair right at his hairline.
On the next day, Aoba doesn't talk about the kiss, but when Koujaku tries to talk to him about it, he can see that Aoba remembers it all happening by the way he stammers, badly puts on a facade and downplays the whole event. Koujaku just laughs; He knows that Aoba needs to process it- he knows him well enough to know how he behaves after events like this, and Koujaku is, if nothing, a patient man. Besides, Aoba was always adorable when he was in that part of processing something, so he really doesn't mind.
Benishigure who are "in the know" sometimes call Aoba "bride" to mess with him, or ask Koujaku to say hi to his "wifey" from them. Mizuki finds out from them through rumors that the Black Needle hosted their very first wedding/reception when he happened to have a night off and he can't live that down. As for Aoba and Koujaku, they don't really consider themselves an officially married couple, but the bit is nicer to carry out than they thought- jokingly talking to eachother like an old married couple comes to them more naturally and is more fun than either has expected.
#dmmd#dramatical murder#kouao#aoba seragaki#koujaku#hatter blathers#ahhhhhh im kinda nervous to post it 😖 i fought with myself for two days about this#but you know what? it is the site to get sillay about your fictional favs. devils sacrament and all that#so i apologize if this is cringy or terribly written lol i just had a need to do it#i took a break from writing due to burnout and this is a nice way to exercise that muscle you know?#short and sweet#anyway i saw that a lot of people liked my last aoba and benishigure post#so i figured i can explore it a bit more#idk why everyone in benishigure is a fujo for their leader. just that kind of universe i guess lmao#i think theyd call aoba bride or wifey bc i feel like it just suits them more than groom and hubby#like idk. they see koujaku as the epitome of masculinity and the way gender roles and sexuality is constructed in this universe#feels a bit vague. which is good for headcanons but it can be a bit tricky to construct#they just mean it as a joke. theyre not doing this maliciously.#i like aoba becoming more ingraied into the benishigure structures once he starts dating koujaku#he never becomes a member but hes kind of an honorary second in command and hes liked and respected despite the teasing#IM SORRY IF MY WRITING IS ASS i was trying to be concise and add some flourish without going overboard#my non-dmmd mutuals: you didnt see anything 😶 im sorry if my perception of me has forever shifted#or something. im baring my soul to everyone#the sake thing is a part of japanese wedding tradition where the married couple sips sake from eachothers cups#it has more meaning and is more complex ofc but. you know. nothing in this scene is traditional lol
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(vent in the tags and under the cut. don’t read if you don’t want.)
sometimes i wonder if people would care if i was gone. there’s just no point anymore tbh.
#tw sui ideation#its honestly just been going through my head for a while#the past two weeks my parents haven’t talked about anything besides my brother#i kinda just feel like i’ve been forgotten in a way#i just feel lonely i guess#and i hate it#it’s just one of those days where i feel lethargic and just numb frankly#and i’m tying to keep posting because it’s not fair that others who don’t give a shit have to read my vents#but i just can’t do this anymore#i’m going through a lot rn#between yesterday and my dog being sick and school starting and my grandma getting surgery and having to move in with my family#it’s all just a lot rn#and sometimes i just think about it and i just hate it#i hate having dark thoughts like this#i’ve been my only therapist because i can’t talk to my parents#i can’t talk to them about this stuff or they’ll just give me the “you can be sad but you can’t pack up and live there” bullshit#I DIDNT FUCKING ASK FOR THIS#that pisses me off so bad#i didn’t fucking ask to have suicidal thoughts?#sometimes i’ll just choke myself with my dog’s leash as a form of punishment because it just makes me feel good#atp i don’t care if i go too far because it’s not worth it anymore#it just doesn’t feel like life’s worth living#there’s nothing to enjoy or look forward to atp#i just need a friend#i’m so tired of being there for people and then having to turn back to myself when i have an issue because im too cowardly to open up#i’m scared#i don’t have it bad like i don’t know why i feel like this#i have a good life#i’m just being a brat#i dunno
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I’m fairly new to the fandom, but I do have a question if you can answer it! Why do people ship Daigo with Aoki / Masato? I tried looking to see if they’ve interacted before, but couldn’t find anything! Sorry for asking I’m just </3 dumb AND I LOVE YOUR ART OF THEM!!! Nerd looking ahhhhhh
hi ! welcome to the community i hope you're having a lovely time so far and ty for enjoyin my stuff :) no need for apologies it's a very fair question to have :]
i cant speak for everyone (all. ten people into masadai anyway) but Personally To Me i just think the idea of them together is very funny. thats quite literally it im afraid..
#snap chats#//twenty page google doc in the background// ignore that. it's mostly for comedic purposes#might also be my fault idk sorry about that. allegedly. idk ive had like three people tell me they started to ship them cause of me 🧍♂️#@mementoasts is another person who's drawn masadai and whose stuff i love and am inspod by .. i love their disneyland fic sm ...#there was another artist on twitter who posted a neat drawing of them but i cant remember who they were and i didnt bookmark it //screams//#recently there's been ANOTHER masadai artist ive started following on twitter - @wifekiryu. his account's n/s/f/w fyi before you go looking#he has a tumblr too @foxdies. i say cause i realized as much recently vjeaKLGJALKGJ#oh but I GUESS ill get deeper into why. /i/ personally ship masadai or whatever#first off they're opposing factions yet their character alignments Do Not Match their roles. stereotypically anyway#aoki who leads the 'surface' of society and is meant to be an admirable figure and someone 'just' when really. he sucks LMAO#though that's not atypical of politicians but just from a stereotypical This Is A Respectable Individual perspective of his role#daigo on the other hand leads the 'underbelly' of society- yk comprised of dangerous criminals and outcasts and whatnot#yet as we know him daigo's compassionate and considerate of his men- he doesnt treat them like tools like aoki does#if put in a room with the two daigo would be most people's choice of person to hang out with. probably open a trapdoor on aoki tbh#and i think thats really cool and epic i always love that kinda Subverting Expectations thing#theres also the fact they both started off like. edgy/angsty in the franchise and then brush up down the line#masato does a stronger 180. publicly. obviously but its still really funny they both have to get their act together#if you wanna talk about in-text reasons. there really is none LMAO I TELLS YOU masadai is pure crack#but if i wanted to pull a muscle reaching then there's daigo being on aoki's side while everyone else is on arakawa's during the funeral#im lying of course. mitsu was behind him. rgg tryna make me forget mitsu exist .... put him back in y8 ....#and ofc ichi joins that side to even out the seating but moving on another Goofy Reason is arakawa being like#'the chairman and my son are like p much the same age Surely he knows how he thinks :)'#and then i just think daigo being all smarmy about outsmarting aoki is really goofy and im choosing to interpret that as personal#they both also have issues with their dad. s. dad/s/. anyway.#tbh the google doc tag was a joke but i really could sit here and list every dumb reason why i think theyre funny together#like i started going over the tag limit so uhhhh yeah needless to say i have a lot of. dumb reasons 💀💀💀💀#one day ill use the main text for long rambles like this but todays not that day Point Is my imagination is rampant im afraid#so the short and sweet of it is I Think It's Funny. And They'd Be Terrible Together. Which Is Why It's Funny.#and the unfortunate part is anything i find funny i obsess over for a year so. //gestures to the mountain of bullshit thats my masadai tag/
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throughout the series of drake and josh it pretty consistently implies that josh nichols is a christian (josh peck is jewish) and in the finale of the series helen (played by yvette nicole brown, not jewish[?]) is portrayed as a practicing jew
#i dont have a problem w either of those things necessarily i just find it interesting#if i had to guess. drake and josh was a mainstream that didnt wanna touch on religion generally#but josh was kind of a dork and usually when josh's religious beliefs are implied it is in dorkish ways#such as praying and thanking the lord after he has his first kiss.#but since dan schneider is jewish perhaps he wanted to make helen have a jewish wedding in the finale?#not that there needs to be a reason. but u do notice occasional jewish-related jokes in d&j but none of them are what you could call#offensive. in good faith that is. 'eric is a pacifist' 'i thought he was jewish?' like come on#text post#i have been rewatching drake and josh recently and i have had so many thoughts#im almost done. i just have left that stupid dance episode that they premiered last for the stupid reason#of a special dance-themed premiere night in fall 2007. they premiered the third episode of icarly and a new zoey 101 on the same night#which i think is so stupid. they should've aired really big shrimp last. it messed w my understanding of the series at the time lol#i remember not really knowing that the show was ENDING. like i knew icarly was starting & miranda was doing that#i thought really big shrimp was like just another special like go hollywood.#and then like two days later they premiered the helicopter episode for some reason#and i was like why is drake not famous in this. he just had a number 1 song in a superbowl commercial#and then a month later the dance one. which. if anything is satisfying about that as a final episode it's just that#that unnamed girl from the blues brothers episode who is obsessed w drake shows up again and congratulates them#and the very final line of the series is 'who is she?' because. because really who IS she?#that's a funny enough throwback to wrap things up with i suppose#drake and josh wasn't a highly serialized show so i can see how they could air those after the intended finale and act like it didn't matte#but i have to tell you it did fuck with my brain a bit at the time. lol. i still think of those episodes as having 'happened' after#and on paramount plus those episodes are still placed after really big shrimp. the injustice#but thats kinda messy. what a weird way to end such an influential and popular sitcom#season 4 had a few lowpoints while still also having some VERY solid episodes.#idk. ill have to continue my series review another time im getting way too longwinded here#helen dubois is jewish
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"I can't be everything for everyone // but I'll be everything to someone"
(Bears in Trees - All You Get is Confetti)
#i meant to post this earlier but just. forgor completely#i made this in two days and couldnt pen out the text before embroidering thats why it looks a lil rough but!! it worked out!!! i like it!!!!#no but i did most of the patch stitching during a 2 hour long car ride to give you an idea of how time sensitive this was#i needed it done in time for the gig!! (<- didnt do anything w it before during or after the gig)#and i was gone the entire weekend before aswell so like.#i had 2 days to get the materials‚ make the patch‚ stitch it on‚ anf embroider the lyrics‚ and PACK FOR THE GIG. twas stressful ngl#anyways it worked out and i finished it so im happy :>#pana says things#pana shows things#bears in trees#all you get is confetti#how to build an ocean: instructions#show was awesome btw i did the hot chocolate dance during the first chorus and iain pointed me out i felt rlly cool#the happy fits are absolutely insane live aswell#s/o to abby and the other person (im so soz i forgot ur name <\33) for just being rlly cool people!!
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So I have not been succeeding a ton on my plan to get back into writing this month…
#tries to fall asleep#fails#briefly nods off then has the most awful graphic nightmare#stays awake for two more hours just to not have nightmares#finally falls asleep at 6am out of sheer exhaustion#wakes up every forty minutes or so#feels simultaneously unable to sleep but also too tired to get up#gets up because it is time for work#feels like I lost a whole month because I spent most of its days in bed#people who suffer insomnia permanently!!! you are incredible and I see you <3#this sucks and I have no idea how you live with it all the time#hope it goes away soonnnnnn#(this post is mostly just an explanation for why I didnt write those fics I said I would write (whoops)#but honestly it turned into a ramble im too tired to edit at this point#not to cause any alarm or anything though! I will be okay :)#I plan to sleep So Hard this weekend hehehe
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IT WAS HEKET. heket was my issue. actually i think it wasnt even heket necessarily i think it was her minibosses that bitch ass gusion took me forever
#anything in the wee hours of the morning count that as the day before bc emotionally. thats what it is#so leshy jan 17th. also the first day i started playing#then TWO DAYS later i got heket on the 19th#then today the 20th i did kallamar and then shamura a few hours later#see like . see! im improving in my combat skills the fact i was able to take down not only two bosses but also like 5 total mini bosses#in the span of a few hours is a lot for me!!#both in terms of my actual combat skills and in terms of how much it mentally frazzles me !!#brot posts#tag later#not tagging this my liveblog tag rn so sorry toe veryone in the main tag. im just rambling now. lol#ive been cooped up all alone in my room for daysssss#actually wait the more i think about it the 18th the day i didnt do any boss#thats also the day when my shit got rocked and i was feeling terrible#so thats probably why i wasnt doing any boss fights#and also i did go to sleep at like 8pm i couldnt really play much that day so . theres also that
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rereading a book i loved in high school to annotate a copy. remembering why it connected w me so much
#its the miseducation of cameron post btw#i read it literally 3 times in the space of 2mos almost back to back#i brought it on two trips- that was the year we went to austria and the year i went to national music camp#and like. yeah. yeah i guess that was why#smth abt that book just really cuts to the heart of what it was like for me growing up in the church#my church wasnt the wbc or anything ofc but like. they also werent/arent queer affirming and its hard to explain how it hurt me#bc everyone expects a story where someone sits me down and like. threatens to beat me if im gay or whatever#that didnt happen. its just that i figured out by osmosis from this environment that i was wrong and that i should be ashamed#and nobody ever challenged that assertion so it stuck for years afterwards#its like growing up in a house w mold in it youll never really know that its there until youre told but you know smth is hurting you#and by the time you realize what it is its gonna take fucking forever to remove#and thats how it is w cameron! she knows long before shes sent to the camp#i just keep coming back to how everyone who went to nationals w me came back talking abt this amazing spiritual experience they had#and how much it meant to them to be able to go#and all i was thinking was that i didnt make even 1 friend and everyone treated me like i was fucking diseased the entire time#the guys didnt want me around bc i was a girl and the girls didnt want me around bc i wasnt a girl to them#my roommate acted scared of me from day fucking one and i still dont really know why. wouldnt stay in the room w me#i would sit down somewhere in the common area and people physically turned away from me to have their own conversations#i think they knew. i wasnt out at camp ofc but im p sure they knew smth was up w me#levi.txt#idk. i dont have a Trauma to point to but i feel like calling the effects of what the church did to me religious trauma is appropriate#it fucked me up so so bad. i had to work through so much shit and im still not out of it#today im not ashamed of being queer but im still discovering new issues that living like that gave me all the time#ultimately. im ok rn dw just thinking a lot. its a great book im glad to reread it and really analyze it! its fun
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PSA
#this is NOT about any of my followers/mutuals#this is NOT about people who are talkinv to their friends less because they're actually tired/busy/depressed#this isnt even about perceived abandonment due to abandonment issues when really your friends still like you#this post is about a SPECIFIC trend#where someone will lie to you and say nothing has changed in yalls relationship when it is CLEAR theyve lost interest#ex: i once had a boyfriend who got really quiet and distant and when i asked what was up he would tell me nothing was up#nothing had changed and he still loved me#he broke up with me two weeks later. turned out her was cheating on me the whole time#ex 2: a good friend stopped talking to me almost entirely. i ask whats up. he said nothings up and we're still best friends#he had a girlfriend! and now that he had a girlfriend he didnt want to talk to me anymore#one day he just quietly stopped responding all together. without ever admitting anything was different or wrong#ex 3: all the friends i had in middle school that would swear up and down they wanted to hang out#before shooting down every single hang out plan i ever made until i just gave up#ex 4: the friends in middle school who BLOCKED ME without ever letting me know and would still hang out with me during school#ex 5: my friends boyfriend who all the sudden barely texted her ever and when she asked why he said he was busy or tired or depressed#and that he'd start texting her more#he never did#AND HE WAS CHEATING ON HER THE WHOLE TIME#ex 6: my friends girlfriend who used to text her all the time and all the sudden nothing#said she was just depressed#turns out she has a new girlfriend!#this post is NOT ABOUT people who are legitimately tired or busy or depressed!!!!#its about people who practice quiet quitting with friendships#to reiterate#IF YOU DO THIS YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE#and you need to be honest with the people in your life and stop wasting everyone's time
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problem i have is that i really struggle with the tendency to just sort of make characters with the same like three personalities over and over and also reusing random concepts or design elements in what are supposed to be entirely unrelated things (the latter is kind of normal i guess actually but it compounds the first problem a bit) so whenever i realize i have two different ideas with unusually similar characters i always have to go like. Well damn it which one of you gets to live cuz i can’t ever show my face in the world if people know i keep making the exact same thing over and over
#The true answer is neither of them. Because i never finish anything#mypost#like i just remembered the other idea i had shortly before i had The Idea That Has Cursed My Brain Since Last March#and they didnt initially start out this similar but ive now realized that#they both involve a duo of characters which are a lop-eared rabbit and some sort of mustelid#and also as a separate point of comparison but still between the same two things there is a character who is a guy with red eyes and glasses#who is slightly silly as a contrast to a character with green(ish) eyes that is sort of un-silly?#technically the premises of the concepts are entirely different#the one that has cursed me is a slightly complicated science fiction thingy and the one i made before that was supposed to be like#They are trying to cure some sort of mushroom infection plague thingy and its vaguely past times#...i forgot the specifics and i found a file i apparently intended as notes for it but its totally empty. Great help.#But anyways even if the premises are vastly different the character similarities haunt me way more#partially because i cannot remmeber the goddamn details of the mushroom one. Why#Why did i make a notes file if i didnt even have them why give my future self that false hope.#...also yes the mushroom one was sort of Pathologic With Fursonas but i didnt get very far in that game so i imagine it would have been#more different if i had actually gotten anywhere with that idea.#by not very far i mean i gave up on the first day because of a timing issue and never got back around to it...#and now im not friends with the person who really liked pathologic anymore.......so i dont have much drive to..........#this is getting unrelated to the post.
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While we're here, I just want to add an example of a good response to Harris' video.
In the first half of the video, Harris briefly mentions a creator called Lukeypoo (who now goes by Luke Stephens) who had plagiarised Harris' Bloodborne review, and his response at the time was to deny it, signal to his alt right buddies and insult Harris.
After the video came out, Luke Stephens made a post on his community page regarding it:
For those, who can't see the screenshots, it reads:
A video went up on YouTube last night that showed something I did 6 years ago in early 2017, of which I'm very ashamed. I've talked about it on stream plenty since then and try to be very open about it, but I know a lot of people haven't been watching me since 2017 or have not heard me discuss this before. I don't want to hide from my mistakes or deflect, so very plainly here's what happened:
I was just starting on YouTube and I ripped off a phenomenal video on Bloodborne. It was a fantastic video by hbomberguy and after finding it through a Reddit post I tried to take his 1.5 hour masterpiece and make my own suckier version at around 7 minutes. I copied the premise, jokes, structure, and then pretended like it was all just a coincidence that they were so similar. I was a 19 year old idiot who thought it didn't matter because "he's a bigger creator so it's fine" and "it's just the internet." When I was rightly called out for copying his video I dodged, lied, and even attacked and insulted the appearance of those holding me to account, including hbomberguy himself. I copied someone's video, in parts word-for-word, and I pretended like *I* was the victim and *they* were being unreasonable. Unbelievable. There is no question at all: I was in the wrong, fully.
Let me be very clear: I whole heartedly disown who I was back then and what I did. Politically, religiously, and even morally/ethically I was a person that I hate today. I was an extremist, a bully, a religious zealot, and above all, a prick. This event sparked a spiral in my personal life that I didn't document online, but that has led me to who I am today. Someone who tries very hard to respect my fellow creators, audience, and to uphold a high ethical standard for myself. I strive every day to be a better man for myself, my family and kids, and for the community around me. And that's why I'm writing this, because I don't think we should hide from our mistakes or pretend they didn't happen. I screwed up, big time, and I stole the hard work of an incredibly talented creator and for that I'm incredibly sorry. I was 19, hard headed, and above all arrogant and unwilling to acknowledge I had screwed up. It took a couple years after that before I could openly admit what I had actually done, and that it took that long is all the more shameful.
I don't expect a response or certainly forgiveness, but for what it's worth, I am truly sorry for everything, @hbomberguy
For the last 6 years I've been working my butt off to be someone I can be proud of being and I hope you all can see that the man I am today is not the shameful excuse of a person I was back then.
I've never watched a video or stream by Luke Stephens so I can't attest as to his content, but this is one of the best responses I've seen to any kind of accusation, and so I lean towards believing him to be a better man than he was six years.
I thinks it's important to highlight the good response/s to Harris' video, to remind ourselves that plagiarism is not such an immoral action that from which you can't redeem yourself (though in Somerton's case, I'm less sure of that) if you take accountability for your actions, and to remember that in most cases, we should give people space to grow and become better.
The swiftness and brutality of Hbomberguy’s complete evisceration of James Somerton’s career cannot be overstated.
#i saw this a few days ago and its stayed on my mind#and i havent seen many other people talk about it so i thought i would#also this is unrelated by im not gonna ever put this in an actual post so im going to use these tags to get it off my chest#i rewatched the video yesterday and it aas during harris' speech about how art is difficult and a skill#that i kinda had an epiphany i guess#(have not used that word in a while huh)#because thrice within the last few years#ive come across fics on ao3 where while i wouldnt call it plagiarism the authors did very much steal a considerable amount from my fics#some less than others#one of them used some of the exact same sentences as mine so i guess that one was plagiarism#but they all took a nontrivial amount of ideas or plotbeats or phrasings from my fics#and each time i was in three minds: 1) i found it kinda funny honestly though i cant articulate why; 2) i was flattered because i dont#really think my fics are worth stealing from; and 3) holy shit i baked one of the holy shit two cakes#i wasnt really upset by it especially because i know my work has been inspired by fics i love at times#but after rewatching harris' video#i realised it wasnt that i wasnt upset but that i wasnt allowing myself to be#because i didnt consider my work as something you could steal from? i didnt consider it worthy of that#like not as in ''oh i didnt know my art was that good'' but as in ''oh i didnt know my work was art''#so ive been allowing myself to be upset about it since then#and all those emotions are probably tangled up in the roots of the treehouse luke stephens' response is squatting in#because like#im not going to do anything about it like im not going to accuse the authors of plagiarism#even the one who stole exact sentences mostly because their writing is indicative of a 13 year old and mate im 23#ive been writing since i was 11. i know what its like to be starting out as a newbie writer it just feels mean for me to call them out#and if theyve stolen lines from me theyre going to have done it to other people and im sure theres someone else who feels more comfortable#in approaching them about it#but anyway back to my point#im not going after any of these people in anyway but if i did id want their response to be like this
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physical calendars
#realizing that theres really no reason for me to keep getting a wall calendar every year when i dont use it for anything#at this point its just there so i can look at a new cat picture each month. yes obvs ive only bought cat calendars for the last 15+ years#any appointments i have i just put in my phone and set a reminder and forget about until its time#like i said in the post two days ago writing things down doesnt work for me bc i forget to look at what ive written#ugh i just remembered in college my dad got me this laminate wall calendar that displayed 4 months at a time so i could put due dates#except like you had to fill in all the numbers yourself so that was a pain. and then what if something was due not in those 4 months#oh i just realized that i couldve erased each month as it ended and then filled it in as a new month... instead of waiting until the end of#the four months and erasing it all at once... never occurred to me bc then the months would look out of order#so anyway yeah that idea obviously didnt work out haha. surely my ipod had a calendar app. why didnt i use that for due dates#instead i just wrote everything in a weekly planner that i would (bet you didnt see this one coming) forget to look at#man. every day i wonder how i could have been good at school for 12 years only to become so flatfooted in college#actually thats a bad metaphor bc i do have flat feet for real. what was this post about. im glad im done with my early 20s. do not recommend
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fucked up that i have two drafted comics of jo in jail and both of them Of Course hinge on whether aoki's alive or not
#snap chats#ok i have ONE of them drafted but the other one's drafted in my brain#i actually drafted the first one months ago but i didnt think it was worth anything so. its just collecting dust now#it was supposed to be a comic where ichi visits jo and has to tell him what happened to aoki#and of course the second one. da shit i been screaming and crying about all day and have been cryin bout For Months#i might do that one.. idk... idk why not....#kinda wanna write a ficlet instead tho... but who's to say i cant do both right#me. thats the problem with me 😭 if it's too short i say 'i can just make a comic of it'#but if it's too long i say 'i'll make a fic of it' but im terrible at writing fics#but then it really will be too long to make a comic of it in a day or two and if i cant complete something in a day Or Two i dont do it#because i SUCK thats why#i just cant write a fic and make a comic... in my brain its impossible for the two to exist at the same time...#feeling like im ripping off myself Bitch WHAT. also i wouldnt want people to read the same thing twice note for note#anyway this wasnt the post i wanted to make that i ref'd in my last ask. i just happened to remember This Is A Thing#and i also was thinking about sketching out that Other prison comic before bed#ok another rambly post incoming bye
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#i’m really sad rn because I feel like my relationship with my mom is ruined#she’s upset that I don’t want to go over to her house in the morning for christmas while shes still testing positive for covid#my sister and I suggested we postpone celebrating for a few days and she got upset#saying it felt like she was being rescheduled like a doctors appointment#and then she basically told me my fears for covid were silly and that my anxiety was ruining my life#mind you my father died two years ago from covid#so its a sensitive topic for me#and then she told me that i have no empathy for why spending christmas with my sister and i is important to her#i kept trying to offer solutions so we could still do stuff together and she just didnt want to even consider it#like we always take photos on the beach Christmas eve and she had discussed with my sister that we just stand far away on the beach for the#but then yesterday she went with her boyfriend didnt say anything and posted it on facebook#i asked her why she didnt invite us and she said ‘i didnt think it was important’#and i asked if she wanted to go today to get them and she said she wasnt in a very christmas mood this year#and then today we were trying to offer going in the morning to see her and sit outside for a little while masked up#so we could at least see her on xmas bc her whole thing is that she was upset she would be alone on Christmas#and she basically said she didnt want us to come over and that its pointless#and she was like ‘thank GOD i have bf to go see otherwise i’d be completely alone’#and she keeps saying like ‘we’ll just axe christmas this year just dont worry about it you girls do your thing’#when we have been trying to say we can still do everything we normally do for xmas just on a different day#and she doesnt want to bc ‘its not christmas’#and she told my sister and i to come by whenever to pick up our gifts#and like i tried i tried to make the best of a shitty situation#theres no need for the entire holiday to be ignored just bc we can’t celebrate on a specific daye#were not a religious family but my moms torn up about having to see other people with their families while shes home alone#and i made a comment about when she got sick she decided she was going to be miserable and refuses to even consider any sort of compromise#and she was like ‘WOW that was rude. i cant believe you said something that rude to me’#i apologized but tbh i dont think i was rude. i was harsh/blunt but I was just calling it like i saw it#i hate it when people say that but i dont know how else to phrase it#but yeah then she was like ‘ive cried enough over this and every time i think i’m okay you rub salt in the wound’#when i was just asking if we could do stuff later
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stress! stress! stress!
#eden speaks#got assaulted two days ago ✌️love that for me <33#im clearly taking it well#hes on the way in an hour so we can sit down and talk about it because he was blackout drunk and i very much was not#hes already apologized but im waiting for the in person apology#he didnt hurt me physically or anything thankfully which is why im not like mega pissed im just stressed out because that#should never have happened#if youre wondering why im posting this on tumblr its because i have no one to talk to about this so i need to vent <333
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when he's falling for you - portgas d. ace
a/n: @captainportgasdace sorry babe, its feels wrong for you to not be the first person to see any new ace content i post 💀 (but please do let me know if you don't want to be tagged, i would totally understand if thats the case 😭😭😭😭)
a/n: whenever i write for ace, my heart just fucking swoons, i will always have a soft spot for him 😭😭😭 i didnt plan this intentionally but i guess i wrote ace with a "love at first sight" type trope but thats what this turned into💀 also accidental "cleaning his wounds" trope 😭 (god, he just works so well with so many tropes, i cant help it)
nothing but fluff here 💗
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-ace still remembers the very first time you touched him, lightly placing your hand on his bicep to quietly move past him, and the group of guys he was having a conversation with, in a narrow hallway on the moby dick.
-he notices his feelings the first time he saw you laugh and messing around with marco, "no fucking way, he did not do that" you squealed as marco recalled the time the two of them were doing some typical teenage boy things . the way your eyes had closed ever so slightly, the faint blush of your cheeks, it was that moment he started to look at you in a different way.
-when you patched up some of his wounds, the care and worry in your eyes, the gentle touch of your fingers and cotton, profusely apologizing whenever he expressed small amounts of discomfort. "ace, please be careful next time. i hate seeing you like this. i know it stings, but i don't want this getting infected." from that day forward, he began to fight with much more caution. he never wanted to see that worry on your face again, not if he could do anything about it.
-he never so much as hesitated to tell you exactly that. ace may flirt and tease, but when it comes to his emotions, he doesn't see the point in downplaying them because the second he realizes his attraction, he wants the opportunity to enact on it. "why delay happiness" kind of mindset.
-however, what sealed the deal for ace, was after the two of you had spent some time together. you were funny, intelligent, kind-hearted, understanding, literally everything he's ever wanted in a partner and more. the chemistry between the two of you was simply unmatched. he knew instantly that there was no world where you and he existed under the same sun, but not in a relationship. that you were his person.
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a/n: (also totally off topic but i slightly underestimated how much work it was doing all this pretty formatting for fics and materlists and as much as im enjoying it, im also tired 💀 feel like im working a full time job over here 😭😭😭 never have i been this organized about doing a hobby in my life and a girl is struggling but i think i finally got my system down so hopefully i get my shit together so please forgive me if i slow down with posting 😭😭😭)
#one piece#one piece fic#one piece fanfic#one piece headcanons#one piece x reader#one piece fluff#fluff fic#portgas ace fluff#ace fluff#one piece portgas d ace#op portgas d ace#portgas d ace#one piece ace#op ace#portgas ace x reader#op ace x reader#ace x reader#via's fics#ace headcanons#portgas d ace x reader#portgas d ace fluff
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