#my roommate acted scared of me from day fucking one and i still dont really know why. wouldnt stay in the room w me

[silverislander]

rereading a book i loved in high school to annotate a copy. remembering why it connected w me so much

[demonytekav]

Quick Monster!Katsuki AU with Human!Izuku

Kats is a monster that lives under the bed and he’s been stalking Izuku’s ankles for a while now. Ever since the nerd moved into the house Katsuki has been waiting for his moment. He watches Izuku and learns his habits and personality.

One night weeks in Izuku’s ankle and foot hang off the side of the bed and Kats spooks him a little by grabbing it but not pulling Izuku under just yet.

Izuku is FREAKED out of course by the feeling of a cold clawed hand wrapping around his ankle and tugging and makes sure to keep his feet on his bed and tucked in every night. Which amuses and annoys katsuki who is biding his time. Katsuki sometimes does spooky stuff like scratch on the bottom of the bed frame or let his shadow cross the corner of izukus eye sight. Always reminding the nerd he’s waiting and watching. Never far from his prey.

Izuku, skittish and scared, starts trying to communicate but katsuki isn’t stupid so he doesn’t ever answer on the recording devices or whenever a camera is rolling. Over time Izuku gets used to having a haunted home but is always on the look out for the next scares his uninvited roommate has for him. At some point though, Izuku finds a little comfort that he’s not alone when he gets home. Strange as it is.

Almost a year in one night Izuku comes in rather dejected and upset. The nerd has been acting a little off for about a week. That night Izuku’s leg hangs over the edge of his bed ripe for the pulling, but as Katsuki goes to grab his ankle he hesitates. He’s enjoyed his time stalking his prey…enjoys his prey in a lot of ways actually. He doesn’t want to just…eat Izuku like he normally might any other prey. No, Katsuki wants to play with Izuku. Wants to hang around as the nerd does his nerdy things. Listen to him ramble on to himself about his little theories and ideas. Wants to make sure he remembers to fucking eat by knocking shit around in the Kitchen or for him go the hell to bed when Kats starts rattling things in the bedroom/tossing pillows at Izukus head. Katsuki just…wants him.

So as he pulls his clawed hand back he contemplates what he should do. The next night it’s the same. A dejected Izuku goes to bed and eventually his leg hangs over the edge of the mattress exposed. Almost like he forgot Katsuki exists.

It’s annoying and hurts Kats pride but he doesn’t want to HURT Izuku. So he’s kinda stuck.

3 days of this go by before one night Izuku, leg hanging over the mattress, sighs a frustrated groan into the quiet bedroom. Katsuki frowns as Izuku huffs to himself before addressing Katsuki himself. “So NOW you grow quiet? Really? After all this time?”

Stunned Katsuki shifts under the bed in his shadows and listens as Izuku sits up angrily and then leans over the side of the bed to stare into the darkness. While he can’t see Katsuki it still makes him flinch a little as those pretty but sad jeweled eyes peer angrily all around as though he’s looking for Katsuki.

“Seriously? I’ve been dangling my ankle outside my blankets for days and you won’t bite? Of course not. Not when I ACTUALLY want you to. Figures, the minute I DONT want to be here anymore you decide I’m not worth it. Come on, just take me now. You’ve been actively haunting me for almost a year every night. Why are you being a coward all of a sudden?”

And doesn’t that just peak Kats interest. The little nerd doesn’t want to live his sad little lonely human life so he wants Katsuki to eat him? Well well well….he can do that. Just not the way Izuku expects.

He chuckles darkly just for Izuku to hear. Green eyes widen as Katsuki allows his wide grin full of sharp teeth to pierce the darkness. As Izuku sees that terrifying grin the nerd sucks in a frightened breath and before he can back up Katsuki reaches out and grabs him, pulling a screaming Izuku into the dark shadows. “Be careful what you wish for I-ZU-KU.”

When Izuku shows up to work a few days later people are surprised to see a wide grin on his face. Especially since he’d recently gotten in trouble for something he didn’t even do but no one wanted to get themselves caught into the mix so they let him take the fall. Izuku is practically glowing and as the day moves on he gets more and more animated the closer it gets to the end of the shift. When asked he just smiles and says he has a special someone waiting at home just for him and he can’t wait to rush home to them.

Izuku is congratulated and as he makes his way home and steps into the entry way he grins as an obvious shadow slithers impatiently down the dark hallway. “I’m home Kacchan!” He laughs happily as he’s then yanked into the darkness by familiar clawed hands.

AN: just an idea I had but didn’t want to make a full fic because I don’t have a working brain cell right now.

[moodr1ng]

a funny thing ive been thinking abt recently is.. as a crazyperson dealing with delusions, the one thing that best lets me manage them is not "convince myself that its not real" (i cant actually just turn off my psychosis :/) but saying "it IS real, this IS true, but only in my reality".

like, idk whether or not "objective reality" is a real thing and im sooo not interested in finding out, but i do know there is a... communal reality? one which is based on things which are observable to anyone, and which impact and are impacted by multiple people. so if thats our basis, the communal reality, then one might consider the idea of an individual reality; one where a person may observe, be impacted by, and impact things which are inobservable to anyone else, and which no one else can interact with directly. the observability and impact of what is being perceived by the person is undeniable to them, but it is very much deniable by anyone else, because its not true in the communal reality.

the crucial part of this, to me, is that if i use this framework, the only course of action that makes sense is to determine that i should avoid doing anything that would negatively impact people, things, or myself in the communal reality based on anything i observe solely in my individual reality. those things are not in the communal reality, so i have like, a sort of moral and also just rational duty to consider them fully irrelevant to the communal reality and to act accordingly.

like, ok, sometimes i become very aware (more than usual) that theres a woman on my balcony at night, and shes looking through my bedroom window and trying to get in, and some nights im so afraid of her that i lock my bedroom door and close the metal blinds all the way and sleep with the lights on. the woman on the balcony is very real... in my individual reality. but thats kind of the reality im in! so shes very real to me!

but, i know, shes not real to anyone else. so i shouldnt do dumb shit based on her being there. i know she cant impact the communal reality (my roommate isnt in danger, etc), so... its kinda fine that shes here?

she is scary and she does want to hurt me and im scared of her and i hate her and wish she would leave. and some nights i need to do my lil 'lockdown procedures' to get away from her, and it fucking sucks, and thats a very real shitty experience.

but, well, once i am able to recognize that shes not real to other people, then she can just be something i observe. i recognize that her reach is limited; that she cant hurt me or anyone else in any meaningful way; eventually, on most days she becomes background noise. eventually, me and them, in our pocket reality no one else experiences, i start to accept them a bit. if the lady could hurt me she would have by now - and i do think the lady on the balcony is also the 'witch behind the curtains' from my childhood, so.. she's had plenty of time.

she cant really hurt me. shes just trying to spook me. shes like these actors in walk-through haunted houses who are behind cages or fences - grabbing towards the audience, putting on a big show of how scary they are.. ultimately, theyre actors in a cage, still. the woman on the balcony is like that. scaring me is the only thing she actually can do; there is no true threat, because the cage of common reality will always hold her at arms length. and sure, shes really, really good at scaring me. and i really dont like it! but i can go through it and remind myself that its all an act. a haunted house tour i didnt sign up for, sure, but none of the actors are allowed to touch me. they cant affect the common reality.

like thats been p dope? im never gonna manage to believe that its "just not real". but i can manage "its real for me and nobody else". and that makes it bearable.

i talk to the man on the ceiling now, sometimes. when i leave my room in the dark i dont turn on the light - and i have always turned on the lights! - and i talk to him. i know hes there. and for years i checked the ceiling at night, compulsively, to make sure he wasnt there. he doesnt want me to see him, right, so i had to keep checking because that way he had to remain hidden and couldnt get close to me.

now i go sit in a completely dark, closed room and i say "hey man, hows it going up there", and hes there on the ceiling, of course, but i dont check now, to be polite (if hes that committed to hiding then clearly its nicer to not look for him!). i tell him about my day a bit. he doesnt respond, obviously, but also id really hate it if he did, so its all good with me. i picture his weird, blank head hanging down from the ceiling, his featureless face hovering just above me, watching me while im blinded by the darkness.

and those are the thoughts ive tried very, very hard to avoid having for so many years! i got into a habit of ig.. very intensely thinking the lyrics of a song while going through my apartment at night, doing the choreographed circuit of turning the lights off and on to make sure i was never in the dark, because if i let my thoughts slip for just a second id think about the ceiling man right behind me, and thatd freak me out.

just sitting there in the complete darkness, knowing hes so close, listening to me talk to him? not so long ago i wouldve had a panic attack about it. but its ok. because the ceiling man cant hurt me, either. and probably isnt even trying to.

i thought about it more, and i realized that while i know the woman is trying to hurt me - shes purposeful about scaring me - the ceiling man has never really been antagonistic. he follows me around, but moreso in the way an animal would follow some strange smaller animal out of curiosity. hes not really trying to do anything to me. hes just here. thats not his fault. hes stuck with me too! so, im chill with him now i guess.

like, seriously.. just saying "the paranoia entities are real actually, but just for me" has actually really really really helped. i wish i hadnt spent all this time thinking and being told that getting better meant no longer having delusions. like, sure, thatd be great!!!! but i cant just turn them off. and theres no treatment that can just 100% make psychosis go away. so, most likely, im still gonna have delusions, and, most likely, i will for the rest of my life, and possibly itll worsen with age. its not realistic to just think "the only real option here is to convince myself that my experiences are fake". what, like im smarter than my own brain? my brains not gonna let me think this isnt real. its making it up in the first place!! so yeah. whatever! it is real. so now i can focus on "whats the best course of action to take when i have (x) experience, while remembering that it cannot infringe upon other peoples reality?", and as it turns out theres a lot more i can do while working within the delusion. damn.

[abvfluxing]

Several months ago i told my roommate i wasnt interested in looking at a new place to live, bcus at the time i figured there was a good chance i wouldnt still be living in ohio in the next several months to year. (I never told her why i didnt want to look at new places thankfully). Bcus i thot things were going to keep moving in a positive way with him. Very stupid of me.

I waited 6 months on two things. "Idk how I feel " and "we will meet in person". 6 fucking months of waiting patiently.

And when i finally bring up the first thing i get "well i don't think i feel that way... but who knows what the future holds". Wtf. half a year and you still cant say it decisively. I tried so hard to take that as a definitive response and move on, but it wasnt and i couldnt. Bcus im an idiot.

After the first cancelled meeting i waited. Then a second cancelled meeting. And he says "well im not going out of my way looking to pick up trips to go that way, itll happen when it happens". I keep waiting. One day i try to sincerely explain how much its hurting me to wait to meet like this, and how much I want to take the initiative and plan a trip to his city. And how worried i am about the whole "flight school" on the horizon since its going to most likely alter his schedule in such a way that him and i will have so little free time at the same time. And how that scares me bcus it feels like the first step to losing him completely. And this is another reason im pushing to make a meeting happen.

So Making it very very clear that i only would want for one small simple meeting, like a lunch, and that if thats all i got with him that would be enough bcus i also just really want to travel somewhere and see things jve never seen and that taking a plane by myself is a very scary thing, but if im going somehwere where i know a friend is on the otherside it gives me the strength to do something so extreme for myself, i mean im someone that gets stressed and anxious just trying to go to a store or run errands. He says "no, i cant guarantee it would work out to meet, and i dont want you to spend all that money and be disappointed" also "im not out to my family so itd be comllicated to have you over as anything other than a friend". First of all, im not even allowed to try and make something happen. 2nd with weeks ahead of time anybody can plan for a single lunch to happen once out of 2 or 3 days possible. 3rd it must not matter how important it is to me, to be able to try and do something like this, how little i expect how little commitment im asking for it, how unobtrusive im trying to be but also experience something. It doesnt matter. 4th, what the fuck is that second excuse coming from? I didnt ask to meet your family, i didnt ask to come over to a family dinner and ve introduced as your boyfriend. How is that a concern when ive made it clear none of that is expected? (Well stupid ass me thinks only someone thinking of doing those things would randomly bring them up when they were not previously stated). 5thly, if you had a job that would literally PAY you to go and visit your alleged "best friend" ... wouldnt you kinda fucking want to do that? Wouldnt that be cool as shit? If i could get paid to visit some of my friends, i think maybe i might try and make that happen every once in a while. So he wont take a paid trip to see me, and im not allowed to pay for my own trip to him. Kinda really sounds like "i dont want to meet you". Only took this dumbass about 8 months to realize that one.

The last couple of weeks ive been trying to act "normal ". Im not messaging him everyday, even tho i want to. And it fucking hurts me. And idk how he feels about it, or if hes even noticed. Not like he would ever really tell me the truth anyway. So im an idiot and an asshole.

I can't even get him to say something as simple as "i want to spend time with you" i tried so hard one night to see if he could even say that much, it didnt work. Bcus im an idiot.

We had two big fights recently too. The one everyone could see where he made it clear he thinks im stupid as shit. And then a second one a few days later while in a discord call. He was upsetting me so much i had to hang up on him before i blew a gasket. Then i explained to him why i got so upset and his response was "wow you got upset over someone elses opinions". He was going to let the night end like that. Soni explained further why I was so upset. And he said something like "ok". And i had to be like "do i even get an apology?" (After i had already apologized for hanging up and getting upset, earlier in the convo). And only then did he finally give a half assed barely covering the problem apology. But I took it and rejoined the call after calming down a bit more. Once again i was being stupid and an ass.

Ever since those two fights i feel like i get treated like shit all the time. Like he is mad at me about stuff but cant even remotely bring it up outside of treating me like shit. But then the one day he streams its all "this is the game brad recommended for me, he knows me so well" blah blah blah. And weirdly nice replies sometimes. Like clearly something is up. But more likely im just an idiot.

He was trying to talk to me the other day, just a couple days after my "worst day" of the very very bad past two weeks. I told him "sorry i havent been feeling well". Him "oh are you sick. Me "well not like cough cough sick". Him " then what is it?". Me "its hard to say out loud". Him "oh ok".

And that was it. No reassurance, no "im here", no "i understand but you can talk to me if itd help". Nothing. Is that really how someone responds to their "best friend" clearly not being well? Its hard for me to tell bcus im so stupid.

And then the announcement earlier. Came with no warning to me. Last i heard he hadnt heard back from any places. And hours before he posted that he asked what I was doing, and i was playing totk amd watching gdq with the roommate. Not really a good time for him and i to play a game together that would take the main tv in the living room. So he said ok have fun. And i said "if you want to hang out in a call thatd be cool". Him "well id have to go in the other room, ill just stay in the living its more comfortable". Me "ok well lmk if you figure out how to use discord in the living room and id be down to hang out". Him "id either have to wear headphones and not hear the game or put you on speaker and youd hear my game. Which is so annoying". Me "i normally use headphone and just leave one ear uncovered to hear the game. Also so when my games have been too loud". Him "its mostly my friend nate 'blah blah blah" convo ends. And a couple hours later we get that announcement.

Hes got his next two months planned out basically. One month of "working back to back" which contains two weeks off, one of which an international vacation! Lmao. Followed by starting school the next month. two weeks before my birthday! How perfect! I messaged him and told him im happy to hear that he finally heard back from a place. And that im happy for him. But im also so fucking pissed. Ive told him how this school thing coming worries me, and he makes a group post instead of telling his "best friend" first. Isnt that fucked up? Once again im being treated like shit. And hes able to have two weeks off in june, including an 8 day international vacation. But i get "ill try to stream for those other days". Somebody you said "we will meet eventually" and you cant make room for me after all this time before turning your whole lifes schedule around making it so you know we wont be able to hang out anymore. So clearly im a huge fucking asshole for having such selfish fucking thots when all i should have thot was "oh yay good for you!". But hey thats what you get when your a stupid worthless ashole am i right? 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆

[tastyykpop]

𝑆𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝐶𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑢𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

•pairings: enemy, barista and student!jaemin x student and barista!reader

♡𝑠𝑚𝑢𝑡♡

<next>

•warnings: dom!jaemin, brat!reader, brat taming, crying kink, hair pulling, choking, small praising, small size kink, degradation (slut, whore), dumbification (sexual and non sexual use) nanas kinda mean :( but gets a lil nicer :), jaemin refers to himself as nana a lot mostly when they do the dirty, bulging kink, pet names (princess, baby, baby girl, little girl, pretty girl), unprotected sex (please be safe), slight face slapping (he slaps her once), rough sex clearly, some sexual tension, I hope i got everything

You were fuming!

The boy in front of you not even batting an eyelash, just laughing at the mess dripping down your face.

You smelt like an iced americano.

People around you held their hands to their mouths in shock and others tried to hold back their laughter. Some even pointed at you or gave sympathetic looks.

It wasnt like people were surprised anymore. Jaemin always had something up his sleeve for you. But he never went as far as pouring his coffee on you.

"Aw poor baby. Do you need a napkin?" He faked sympathy with a pout and his friends began laughing. You just got up and walk by them, making sure to bump into jaemins shoulder on your way through.

It was almost everyday that Jaemin would do something so uncalled for. It was like he was made to push your buttons. Even as you're walking out of the college building, you can still hear the boy laughing at you. Or maybe it was the other students. Either way, you wanted to kill him.

As you trudged towards your car, a sense of relief washed over you. A great happiness that only comes when you finished your classes and could go home. Only this happiness stayed for a good 2 hours until you have to go to your part time job at the cafe with your favorite person of course. But its not like you can quit. You need the money so you can live and get the education you need, no matter how hard it is being with him.

It was then when you sat in your car and the squishing in the seat made your face curl into a scowl, only made you think of ways to get away with murder. It was gross really. The seats were sticky, plus your hair and clothes were sticking to you like lip gloss. A shower would be perfect right about now.

"Hi y- oh..." Your roommate, jimin, stared at your messy state. Giving you a good up and down before shrugging his shoulders, "jaemin?"

You sighed, walking over to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water, "Who else? Its always him."

Jimin gave you a small smile and came closer as if ready to hug you but didn't because he didn't want to get sticky. "You know, maybe you should quit that job."

"No."

He groaned and snatched the water that you were about to sip, "Why? You'd only see jaemin in school. And you wouldnt have to stick with his bickering in work." He huffed, shaking his head, "Girls are so difficult sometimes."

You tried leaping up to grab the bottle from jimin, but all he did was hold it above his head. You stomped on his foot in return. Jimin huddled over and you snatched the bottle, smirking with victory as you put it to your lips.

"You fucking snake." Jimin hissed in pain.

A laugh fell from your lips as you walked by him, completely ignoring his words and his pain, "Im gonna take a shower."

Once you got to your room, the first thing you did was grab your work clothes, a towel, and underwear and got ready for the warm shower.

After you switched on the water and let it heat up, you stepped in and immediately felt at peace as the water cascaded over your body, cleaning off the almost dried coffee. Your hair felt lighter, like a feather and your fingers could now slip through the strands easily without an issue. The scent of your body wash overpowered the coffee smell and you felt much better. Water, soap, and coffee were beginning to fill the drain as you finished washing up. You rolled your eyes at the sight of the murky water. What a bastard.

For once you were actually happy to wear your work clothes after what had happened earlier. The clothes actually felt comfortable and jimin was becoming more and more confused as to why you were hugging yourself with a huge smile on the couch.

"No one should be that happy after a shower." He started flipping through channels on the t.v.

"Dont tell me how to feel, I dont smell like jaemins coffee anymore." You gushed overdramtically. Jimin could only role his eyes.

"Please...you act like he's a demon of some sort."

You squinted your eyes at jimin and flared your nostrils, "he is. Hes a nasty, dumb, annoying, self centered-"

"Okay okay I get it! You hate jaemin! The funny thing is you can never get his name out of your mouth." Everything stopped and your head snapped in jimins directions.

"What are you saying?" A frown found itself on your face, jimin leaned closer.

"Im saying that maybe you might like him."

You shrieked in disgust, blocking your ears with your hands. Jimin laughed at your reaction. Almost falling off the couch in the process. "Ew! Gross! Why would you even think that!"

"Like I said, you can never get his name out of your mouth. I think its pretty obvious you like him." He was still giggling at you except your face was anything but happy, more grossed out at how he thought you could like such a person

"I can't stand you. I'm leaving for work." You stood up and jimin did nothing to stop you from going. Even though you still had about 15 minutes until you normally leave. "Ill be back at 9." The door slammed behind you, leaving jimin alone with another laughing fit.

You got in the car and drove off to your work, still trying to come up with a reason as to why jimin is saying all this. Sure maybe you talk about jaemin a little lot but that doesn't mean you like him. Its very much the opposite and jimin should know that. It only frustrates you the more you think about it. Liking someone like jaemin? Please. That would be your nightmare.

As you pulled up to the cafe, there were only a few other cars parked. Few were from other workers but the majority were most like customers or people just trying to get a free parking space. Lucky for you, there were many open spaces, unlike when you come later and they're filled. Maybe leaving earlier wasnt such a bad idea. It saved you the 3 minute walk.

"Y/n! You're just on time!" One of your coworkers, irene, called out as you stepped inside the shop. "We need help back here!" You had no time to even begin to say your shift hasn't started yet when irene took you by the hand and dragged you to where the coffee was being made. "We have a bunch of online orders coming in so can you please help us with the coffee and food?" She tossed you a brown apron for you to put on and you nodded, trying to get your brain to speed up with everything in the world.

It was so quiet when you walked in that you never even realized that the back was busy. Coffee cups were filled and put into trays for orders, food was being heated or baked. It was a chaotic place right now and all you could do was help. So as fast as you could, you began with the first order on the screen. A large mocha with extra extra sugar, whipped cream, and chocolate curls. Easy enough you thought as you reached for a cup but a hand beat you to it.

Your eyes looked up at the person in front of you and just when you thought everything was going fine, it wasn't, "What are you doing here so early?" You asked bitterly.

"I always come in early. What are you doing here so early?" Jaemin asked whilst holding a death grip on the cup.

"Just felt like coming early." You muttered, watching as jaemin turned away with a scoff, quickly cutting the conversation short. "Bastard."

Jaemin was busy making what you were originally going to do, so you looked for another order to get ready. It was just two cake pops and a small strawberry banana smoothie. Something you've been craving recently from the lack of sweetness and fruit in your day to day life.

The cake pops and smoothie were quick to make and were soon sent off to the customer. You happily beamed and wished them good day once they left.

After then there was a familiar face with a friend right next to him, he was quite handsome you must say. He was indeed so handsome that he just looked unreal. "Hey jimin. Whose this?" You nodded towards the bright black haired man.

"This is taemin! He wanted some coffee so I brought him- hey stop staring at him!" Jimin snapped you out of your trance and taemin chuckled.

"Its okay shes cute." He eye smiled, showing off his perfectly white teeth. He's definitely not real.

Jimin tsk'd, "Until you get to know her."

"Yeah yeah... whatever." You smiled at him, completely oblivious to what he just said.

They both ordered and took a seat next to the window. You were still staring at taemin with your head in your hand until someone tapped your shoulder, "Who are they?" Jaemins voice rang in your ears, making you stand up straight.

"Thats my roommate, jimin, and his friend taemin." You glanced back at the boys, mainly at taemin and just stared like he was your first crush.

"Quit staring your gonna scare him away." Jaemin said earning himself a chuckle from you.

You stuck your tongue out, "He called me cute."

The boy smirked from ear to ear and leaned in close to your face, "He was lying." You grumbled and pushed him away from you, getting annoyed by his presence very quickly.

"Jaemin and y/n, get back to work we have orders to do!" Irene called out. Both of you quickly returning to your stations and getting things ready.

"Look at him. Hes basically waiting for me to come over to him." Seulgi, another person in this school you dispise, said as she looked at jaemin in the back of the room. She wasn't very quiet either considering you were only a few seats away from him. So it only meant that jaemin could hear her, but chose to ignore it. Typical boy.

"Honestly. He looks so good today too." Sana, her best friend, commented.

"Oh and did you hear what he was planning on doing today to y/n? Apparently he's gonna-"

"Class get back in your seats, we have much to discuss." The professor stood in the front of the class. Everyone shifted and moved to their appropriate places and waited for the teacher to begin. Unlike you, who was wondering what seulgi was going to say next. If its something worse than coffee being poured on your head, you may just have to bury yourself six feet under after this.

As you were taking notes something flung towards your head and hit you on the side, looking over was jaemin with a smirk was he held his fingers in a sling shot shape. A rubber band was laying on your lap. Then another one. One even hit your cheek creating a small smack sound as you winced in pain. Oh you desperately wanted to get out of this seat and punch the boy in the face.

"Excuse me sir!" You called out, raising your head. The whole class looked at you and your cheeks began to heat up. "May i go to the restroom?" The professor nodded and you headed out. Not until you stopped in your tracks from a loud smack to your butt, causing the whole class to turn around again.

Jaemin was enjoying this, the way you stared at him with wide eyes and open mouth, made him just want to do it again. He never thought this reaction from you would be so entertaining and he tried his best not show it, with only a small smirk covering his face.

You rushed out of the room, faster than ever and leaned against the nearest surface you could find. Not only were you questioning reality, but also why jaemin just did that.

"That little bitch." You said to yourself as you paced back and forth in the hallway, staring at the ground.

"Excuse me?" Jaemin voice rang in your ears as you looked up with a angry red face. Steam was even coming out of your ears and nose. "Did you just call nana a bitch?" He put his hands to his chest and pouted, "Little girl you need to learn some manners." Jaemin tilted his head to the side and began walking forward.

"Shut up." You had nothing else to say as you grit your teeth, looking at the ground.

Jaemin didnt like that and grabbed the back of your neck to make you look at him, "What? Did your stupid head stop thinking? Your normally so chatty for nana what happened?"

"Jaemin i-" you cut yourself off as you felt jaemin grip the back of your neck tighter causing you to moan in pain.

"Stupid girl." Jaemin whispered, forcefully pushing you away. It was not strong enough to make you fall but at least stumble.

You glowered, earning yourself a chuckle from him. "What will it take for you to leave me alone!?"

"Bring this to table 15 please! Thanks!" Irene smiled as she handed you a small cup of iced coffee and you took it, taking it to its designated place. What you didn't except was to see taemin again, gleaming up at you.

"Hi y/n." He smiled and you tried to remain calm.

God how is someone so beautiful?

"Hey, I didnt except you to come back." You returned the warm smile and started to play with the apron around your waist.

Taemin giggled, "I actually quite like this place, its cozy." He began to take a sip from the straw, eyes still trained on you. If only you weren't so awkward with him, you wouldve found something to say other than staring at him and indulging in the beauty before you. But lucky for you someone behind the counter called for you, quickly averting your attention back to work.

The next order was a shake, so you grabbed the correct ingredients and began using the blendor, when someone came next to you, doing the same thing "You seem like your having fun flirting around." The unwanted conversation with jaemin began, "makes nana kind of jealous."

"Hm funny." You ignored him and continued blending the ice cream.

Jaemin casually rolled his eyes and glanced down at your nonchalant face before returning back to the blender, "you know you really do piss me off."

You sneered and snickered to yourself, "what are you gonna do about it?"

"I was thinking of fucking you dumb or until you know your place but maybe thats a bit too rewarding."

The cup was removed and set aside from the blender with your hands placed on your hips, "Im sorry what?"

"Did I stutter?" Jaemin raised an eyebrow and also put the cup down. You went silent, not knowing whether or not to just laugh it off or quickly run away. "And I'm still waiting on my apology."

"One, I am not going to apologize to your bitchy ass. Two, even if I did let you, you could never 'fuck me dumb', it just wouldn't happen. Now stop trying to get in my pants."

Jaemin opened then closed his mouth about to say something, but didn't and just put on a sweet smile, "Go take these to table 7 for nana." He said like he was testing yoj.

"Why? You made them."

"Nana told you to do something little girl, now do it." Jaemins sweet smile was still plastered on his face yet it intimidated you enough to do as he said.

Taemin was long gone when you walked out and you were kind of sad as you weren't able to say goodbye before he left. You placed the shake down on the table and was ready to walk away when you heard your name being called.

"Y/n? You work here?" Seulgis voice spoke as you turned around. Both her and sana were looking at you with shit eating grins.

"Doesn't jaemin also work here seulgi?" Sana asked the girl in front of her and seulgi looked as if she got the brightest idea.

"Oh yeah! Y/n can you get jaemin over here? Pretty please?" She asked sweetly yet with a hint of sourness and you listened, not feeling like ignoring her at the moment.

You told jaemin that seulgi and sana were out front looking for him and he nonchalantly went out without question. Leaving you to do some of the work alone, which you didn't mind considering its jaemin, the annoying bastard who won't leave you alone, but he does help you whenever you need it. And right now, it was a bit busy, and you needed it.

After doing 4 more online orders and sending them off through the driveway, jaemin finally came back with a scowl on his face looking ready to beat someone up. "What the hell is wrong with you!?" He raised his voice only loud enough for you to hear. But you were quite confused on what was happening.

"What are you talking about?" You asked, tilting your head to the side like a puppy.

Jaemin groaned, "I knew you were fucking dumb but come on y/n! Why is seulgi covered in the shake i gave you?"

You paused for a moment, unable to answer that. Is he assuming you spilt her shake on her? Why would you even do that in the first place. Yeah you don't like her, but you're not going to stoop to her or his level. "I dont know."

He slammed his hand on the wall near your head, startling you a bit, "You dont know huh?" You shook your head slowly. "Seulgi and sana both said you purposefully spilt the shake on seulgi. Now answer me honestly. Is that true?" You shook your head again, feeling really small and helpless under his strong gaze.

"I-i didnt spill t-the skake." You muttered quietly.

He inhaled sharply, "Then who did huh? Or maybe you don't know because you're so dumb."

"S-stop..." you frowned, looking down at floor, but jaemin had other plans and made you look up at him. A single tear slide down your cheek and you swear you saw a small grin appear on his face.

"Tell nana what happened." His voice became softer as he swiped away the stray tear on your face.

You huffed, still afraid that he'd do something to you although you knew he wouldnt purposely cause you pain. "W-well she asked me to go get you, which I did, a-and her shake was perfectly fine when I left."

"Are you saying she purposely spilt the shake on herself to make me angry at you?"

"Y-yes."

"Ill believe my little girl for now, but if I find out you are lying, you will be in big trouble got that?" Jaemin lifted his hand off the wall and proceeded to walk back out of the room. Leaving you shocked at his words and still frightened by an angry jaemin.

You went to the cash register once jaemin left to get ready to count the bills until you heard jaemin and seulgi arguing. Lucky for them, no one but you and him were working right now. Irene went home earlier and the normal crew always leave around 6:30, leaving just you and jaemin.

"It was only a prank nana. No need to get so worked up. And besides you didn't even prank her today, be glad I did for you." Seulgi said smiling at the boy in front of her.

Jaemin physically cringed when he heard his nickname roll off her tongue, "you didn't have to do that."

You stood there watching, astonished how jaemin was standing up for you. Hes supposed to hate you. Jaemin didn't even bother going with the girls when they offered him a ride, instead he stayed with you and even helped close. Something he normally doesn't do because he leaves before you and gives you all the hard things to do.

"Hurry up and finish." Jaemin spoke. A little bit of anger still laced in his voice.

"Whats your rush?"

He sighed, "I wanna go home. Plus I can't stand this place right now. I'm pissed."

You finished wiping down that last table and walked over to him, "Just go home then."

"Not without you."

You gave him a dirty look, "im not going home with you."

Jaemin leaned down, his face only inches from yours and whispered, "Remember what I said earlier hm? I wanna fuck you dumb." He then grabbed your waist bringing you closer to him, if that was possible, "Can I do that pretty girl? Can nana fuck you so hard you won't even remember anything but my cock?" You were so lost in your mind that everything became a blur. Jaemins words sounded so sweet but were so lewd. And you were so close to kissing him until he put his finger on your lips, "But you have to wait." You frowned and were only getting more angry by the second. You went from not wanting anything to do with jaemin to just about ready to beg him to kiss you. Was it that easy for him to get in your head? Or were you so sex deprived that now jaemin seemed somewhat interesting?

You laid on jaemins bed getting bored with the constant teasing. He never did anything but that. Jaemin would get close to your lips and back away as you chased him. Hed chuckle and coo at you for being so desperate. But that wasn't the point of all the teasing. He really just wanted you to beg him to kiss you. No words will come out of his mouth telling you to beg, he just excepted it to happen sooner or later. But youre too stubborn to do so, so you grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him down to kiss him, catching him by surprise.

Jaemins hands gripped your wrists and pulled them off his face, pinning them to the bed, "You didnt even ask to kiss me." Jaemin pulled away, raising his eyebrow high, "Dont you think thats a bit mean."

"So was teasing me, but I let you continue." You huffed, trying to free your wrists from his death grip but it was no use.

"You dont have a say on whether i continue or not. I'm in charge here and you take what I give you, understand?" You rolled your eyes. It was your intention to make jaemin angry. You wanted to push his buttons.

What you didnt know was that not answering jaemin correctly would earn you a slap to the face. And jaemin was not even fazed by it.

"Dont roll your eyes and answer nana." Jaemin smiled. "Can you say 'yes nana'?"

"Y-yes nana."

"Good girl." Jaemin muttered and began slowly kissing your jawline down to your neck, sucking here and there creating shades of purple and red marks. Oh how he loved the marks he was leaving.

You so desperately wanted to grip onto jaemins hair and pull it but he never budged his hands, only tightening his grasps. As he continued attacking your neck, you began to lift your hips up to get some sort friction. Jaemin noticed and shifted so that his thigh was in between your legs and rubbing against your clothed core. A spew of quiet moans left your lips but you wanted more. Jaemin was going to soft and slow for your liking.

"I thought you were going to fuck me dumb?" You said and jaemin lifted his head to give you a quick kiss on the lips.

"Patience baby. You aren't ready yet." He let go of your wrists and took your shirt off. The cold air made you shiver and jaemin chuckled. "I wanna make you cum at least 2 times before I fuck you."

"Then stop talking and do it." You replied, pushing your hips up to rub against his thigh, but they were pushed back down on the bed.

"Didnt I say to take what I give you?" Your head slowly moved up and down and jaemin smiled, "so why arent you happy with what nana gives you?"

"I want more..." you sighed as he started to slide your pants and panties off, discarding them somewhere in the room. His mouth slowly started kissing your inner thighs and you could feel your heat dripping with anticipation. You whined for more but only got a slap to the thigh telling you to be quiet. Needless to say you didn't listen and continued to try to get him closer to where you needed him most but pulling his hair.

Jaemin groaned grabbing your wrist again and pushed it away roughly. His patience was wearing out. You were more stubborn than he thought, but that doesn't mean he can't still break you. "Next time you do that, I'll flip you over and beat your ass till its purple." Your breath hitched and as much as you were tempted, you wanted to be able to sit for a few days so you stayed put and kept your hands to yourself.

But the desperation was getting to you and you wanted relief which jaemin wasnt giving you until you felt his two fingers circling around your clit. "P-please jaemin." You moaned as he flicked your clit with his middle finger. Then soon enough he stuck two fingers inside you. Your pussy automatically clenching around his digits as he moved at a steady in and out pace.

It felt so good. His fingers felt so good. They made your body twist in pleasure as more moans left your mouth. Jaemin was watching your face closely as it contorted with pleasure. He loved seeing your eyebrows bunched together, so focused on the way his fingers worked inside you.

"My pretty slut. Taking nanas fingers so well." He gushed, still watching your face. Jaemin could feel himself get even more painfully hard but he didn't want to fuck you just yet. He meant it when he said he wanted you to cum 2 times. So he picked up the speed with his fingers, your hands landing on his forearm that was resting on near your hip. "Are you gonna cum for nana princess?"

You frantically nodded your head as a wave of pleasure washed over you. You could feel your cum leak out of you as jaemin leaned down and began eating away at your cunt.

"J-jaemin! So...go-good!" Your head flew back as his tongue sucked on your clit and a loud moan filled the room.

Jaemin smirked against your heat, "I haven't even fucked you yet and your already sounding like a dumb whore. Its so easy to break you princess."

"N-no its j-ju-...." you whimpered as your brain wasnt even trying to help you function right. His tongue was extraordinary. "Mmmm."

"Aw my dumb little princess is so cute." He muttered diving back into lapping at your soaked cunt. It was almost as if on cue and without warning, you were cumming again. Jaemins hasty tongue took it all. Groaning at the taste of you in his mouth.

He sat up over you, grabbing your neck, pulling you into a deep kiss. You tasted yourself on his tongue. Deepening the kiss by grabbing the back of his hair, jaemin couldnt help but moan a bit as his cock brushed against your thigh. He felt big. Bigger than the few guys you've been with and you were ecstatic.

You tugged on jaemins pants and shirt as a way to tell him to take them off and he did after getting off of you and sitting on the edge of the bed. His abs were more defined than you thought and when his cock sprung free, your mouth started watering. Jaemins smirk only grew watching you stare. He was starting to get cocky

"What? You wanna suck my cock?" Jaemin asked sweetly.

"Yes please." You reached over to try and touch him but he didn't allow you. And smacked your hand away. It was a way for him to tease you and you hated it.

"So kind for nana now. Ealier you were so cock hungry that you decided to be a brat. Did nana finally break you?" Jaemin whispered as he moved a piece of hair out of your face, looking at you with fill admiration.

"No you didn't break me. But I wanna suck you off." You whined as jaemin picked you up and sat you just above his cock, the tip teasing at your entrance.

"Too bad. Now I want you to sit." Jaemin said looking into your eyes. You obeyed with a little hesitation. His cock was surely going to hurt you so you took it slowly and started lowering your hips. "Fuck...thats a good girl." Jaemin praised, watching his cock dissappear between your legs and your tummy get full with his cock. "My baby's so tiny you can see my cock in your belly." He said, pushing down on the area where he was imprinted in you.

Slowly you started moving, lifting your hips up and down. You were wet enough that he could easily slide in and out with no problem.

Jaemins head fell back as he sighed with relief, grunting as you picked up the pace, "So tight for nana." He whispered and you moaned back loudly. His cock stretched every inch of you to the point where it felt like you'd split.

"More more more." You whined against jaemins neck, gripping his shoulders tightly. Carefully jaemin flipped you both over so he was on top and continued pounding into your destroyed cunt. He kept a hand around your neck squeezing it every so often as a choked out moan left your throat.

His cock was so deep and fast that you couldn't think straight. You kept blabbering about his cock. Only thing on your mind was how nice he felt inside you. Jaemin bit his lip as he smirked at you, grabbing your hair and bringing your face close to his, "Now will you admit that I fucked you dumb and say your nanas dumb slut?"

"Y-yes, I'm na-nanas dumb sl-slut." You cried, tears falling down your face from how good he felt inside and if you thought jaemin couldn't go any faster, he did. His thrusts were hard and rough, sure enough to hurt your thighs tomorrow as he pounded relentlessly. "So close." Your voice came out choked as your eyes rolled to the back of your head. You held on to jaemins hand that was on your neck as he helped you with your orgasm.

Jaemin wasnt far behind you with his and groaned loudly, "fuck, where do you want it princess?"

"I-inside." You moaned as the feeling of hot cum was shot inside you. Jaemins hips kept moving him through his orgasm until he slowly came to a stop. Both of you panted loudly, there were even a few tears falling down your cheek here and there.

Jaemin slowly pulled out, making sure not to hurt you, and he laid beside you. "You did so well." He kissed your forehead. "Cmon ill carry you to bathroom so we can take a bath." He said picking up your worn out naked figure with so much care. Making you forget he was your enemy.

[inactiveanimeblog]

shikamaru x reader fic

“change” chapter one

tw : smoking, alcohol

brooo i’m honestly so sorry this took forever but dont worry next chapters won’t take as long at all, i already have them planned out. and just a heads up there will be smut in this story, not this chapter but possibly chapter three.

eh i don’t really like the way this chapter came out but i can promise better in the future ones.

warnings: for now just alcohol, weed, and swearing

shikamaru and you had been best friends for as long as you both could remember. since you both had grown up together, through your parents being close friends, you and him were inseparable. you spent most of your childhood being around each other. but once you guys hit 16 years old things started to be different.

shikamaru started to drink, smoke, get tattoos, and flunk school. it was a miricale that he even graduated high school thanks to you tutoring him and completing his homework assignments. you on the other hand were a straight A student, a teachers pet, a quiet kid who didn’t party or do anything most teenagers around you were doing. you wanted to, but you were anxious and even a little scared that you werent ‘enough’ to be friends with others who were out having good times and enjoying their teen years. you were timid, you couldn’t be outgoing to save your life, so you watched from the sidelines.

once you graduated high school you traveled to another part of japan for eleven months to find yourself, learn to break out of your shell, and to switch up your style leaning more towards looking sexier and attractive. which meant leaving shikamaru behind to say goodbye for the time being. neither of you really talked when you left, in fact, you guys didn’t talk at all. you had missed him more than anything while he was well, being him. shikamaru messed around with girls, making them feel special, having sex with them, but he never put a label on their ‘relationship’. he would end things when he would get bored and find a new pretty girl to fuck, which left all the other girls broken hearted. you envied any girl he was involved with in a sexual way, you wanted him more than anything but you never told him. hell no. you could never tell him. he would never feel the same as you feel. there was no changing the way shikamaru was. he would never love and you knew that.

you came back to konaha a couple of weeks ago, settling into your new place, a nice little apartment, decorated in a modern manor, as well as starting to make friends in town through social media, slowly starting to go to parties and going out to clubs. you changed your look, dying your hair, getting a new piercing, switching up your style to something different, something new. you felt a lot better about yourself and you wondered if shikamaru would be interested in the way you looked. you weren’t confident, but the attention you’ve been getting from others lately hasn’t gone unnoticed.

hey shikamaru, i came back to konoha a few weeks ago finally! sorry i haven’t told you yet i’ve just been busy moving into my new place and stuff. we should hangout or something, it’s been so long since we seen eachother. you sent him a text, hoping that he would text you back wanting to make plans.

yeah we can link. i’m busy tonight but if you’re free tomorrow you can come by my place around 18:30 and we can catch up. you won’t be able to stay for long though.. maybe an hour at most. just lmk when you’re on the way. it took him a little while but he answered.

okay, that’s fine i have plans a little while afterwards so i won’t be able to stay long anyways. i’ll see you tomorrow and i’ll let you know when i’m on the way.

you were so excited to see him, butterflies already forming in the pit your stomach. you planned out a fit, the way you wanted your hair, and makeup. this was the time you and shikamaru would be able to catch up and maybe even become close friends again.

unfortunately shikamaru wasn’t too excited to see you. you guys haven’t talked in a long time and he saw no point or benefit to your friendship. he’s made a lot of new friends, other friends who are interested in the things he is and he’s been busy fucking new girls all the time. he thought it was such a drag that you wanted to hangout, and truth be told he wasn’t even gonna be busy tomorrow. he just didn’t want to waste his night hanging around you.

_______________________________________________

the next day you woke up around 11:30 am, starting off with eating a light breakfast, showering, shaving, and skin care. getting ready and facetiming your friend mikasa (hehe aot name but i love her name) to talk about how excited you were for first off going to see shikamaru for a little bit and second off going to a house party later that you guys were invited to.

“i’m so nervous ‘kasa, like what if he doesn’t like the way i look? or what if he thinks i’m weird now?” you sighed, brushing your fingers through your hair, checking yourself out in the mirror.

“it’ll be fine y/n! just try your best not to show your nervous. act like he isn’t intimidating at all. you look hot, nothing to be scared of.” she responded

“hm, you think so? are you sure i should wear this? i don’t wanna look like a try hard..”

“you don’t look like a try hard just mention to him that you’re hitting a party later he’ll get why you’re in a cute ass outfit. now go to his house, it’s already 18:07, don’t keep him waiting. he said he didn’t have much time anyways.”

“alright i’ll see you later tonight then.. wish me luck, i’ll let you know what happens. bye.”

“good luck and bye bitch! don’t have too much fun!” she answered while wiggling her eyebrows and hanging up the phone.

you texted shikamaru that you were on your way, he responded shortly saying to just knock when you got there.

third person point of view

“yo kiba, i have a girl coming over today.. she’s just an old friend. she’s shy so try not to scare her off. don’t smoke out in the living room while she’s here. i don’t need her getting uncomfortable. it’ll be such a drag listening to her get upset about the smoke.”

“say less, but is she hot? if she’s just an old friend let me make a move on her.” kiba answered hopping on the couch next to shikamaru.

“no. she’s not cute and you wouldn’t want her anywa-“ shikamaru was cut off by a light knock on the apartment door.

“can you go invite her in for me?”

“do you ever get off your lazy ass? whatever fine.” kiba said while getting up off the couch and walking towards the door.

kiba opened the door and didn’t say anything, he just stared down at y/n who looked back up at him confused clearly expecting shikamaru to answer. ‘not cute?’ kiba thought. ‘is shikamaru out of his MIND??’ surely this couldn’t be the girl shikamaru was talking about, shikamaru would have to be an idiot to not find her attractive. she was dressed in a sexy yet subtle outfit. she smelt nice and her hair looked so soft, her skin was like porcelain, delicate and smooth.

“uhh i’m sorry, who are you?” kiba asked

“oh- i umm, i’m y/n nice to meet you. i’m here to see shikamaru.. i’m at the right apartment, right?” shikamaru tried to look over at y/n but he couldn’t see much with kiba standing in front of the door. he looked back down at his phone and rolled his eyes.

“well? are you gonna let her in? i just told you i had company coming over two minutes ago. how burnt out are you?”

“oh right um come in, i’m kiba, shikamaru’s roommate by the way. make yourself at home.. shikamaru’s on the couch.” kiba stuttered out scratching the back of his neck and moving out of the way so y/n could entered.

“wow shikamaru your place looks nice. is it just you and your roommate living here?” y/n said.

shikamaru looked up from his phone to see her staring around the room and his first thought was ??? what the fuck ?

“y/n?” shikamaru said. he stared at her as she sat on the other couch, his eyes focused on her appearance.

“yeah?” y/n answered smiling back at him.

“nothing i just— you just look really different since i last seen you last. what have you been up to?” he asked still eyeing her up and down, blushing slightly. he felt a little weird, he wasn’t expecting his nerdy childhood best friend to look so good.

“i’ve been busy honestly, i finally moved into my new place and i’ve been going out with friends, it feels nice to finally be back home although i do miss traveling.” friends.. she has other friends now?

“what about you? what have you been up to?” she said still smiling, she looked beautiful, like she’s grown up.. grown into a women’s body, she’d grown into her face as well, no longer looking so babyish. her outfit was nice, showing some skin leaving little to the imagination. this was nothing like her.

“nothing really, just be doing the same old things.... you made some friends when you came back to konoha?”

“yeah i did, i made a few. you should meet them one day, we usually hit parties on the weekends or we’ll chill at one of our houses, drink and smoke or whatever. you would like them.” she exclaimed nodding her head slowly.

huh? wait she even drinks and smokes now? what happened to her? and what changed her when she left.. why was she so different now?

“you drink and smoke now? wow you really are different.”

“oh please” y/n giggled a bit. “i’m still the same old y/n, i’m no different only been living my life in other ways. i’ve been enjoying it ever since i left eleven months ago, you know? i’m having fun i guess.”

“well.. i honestly never expected the day where you would find drinking and smoking fun since you always used to scold me for it.” he said, rolling his eyes playfully, a grin forming on his lips.

“and by the way do you want something to drink, like a water or anything?”

“you know i was just inexpirienced back then shikamaru” she said placing her elbow on the couch arm rest, resting her cheek on her palm and she still had a cute small smile on her face.

“and i’m good, i’ll probably be leaving not too long from now anyways.”

“you in a rush?” shikamaru questioned, slightly raising one of his brows

“hm, kind of. i’m gonna go pregame at one of my friends houses tonight and get ready for a party.”

kiba walked in and sat next to her, he gave shikamaru a pointed look before butting in their conversation and replying “a party tonight huh? you gonna give us the invite?”

“well i mean if you guys wanna go it’s gonna be at 227 Clock Street, not far from here maybe a 15 minute drive. if they ask who you know just say you know me.” she said looking back at kiba “you shouldn’t have any problems. but also, i believe shikamaru said he was busy tonight. right shikamaru?”

“yeah.. well, i do have plans later. but i could just cancel them now, not really important anyways. i guess we could go out. do you think it’ll be a problem to bring others?”

“nope it shouldn’t be a problem at all. the more the merrier, and you and your friends will be able to meet mine tonight!” she said excitedly.

shikamaru excused himself to use the bathroom as kiba continued to talk to y/n and ask her about herself. it was so very obvious that kiba wanted to take her to his room and bend her over, but y/n being hella naive couldn’t tell.

shikamaru looked in the mirror while washing his hands. his eyebrows were scowled, and his eyes were dazed. never could he imagine something like this would happen where y/n would come out of her shell. where she would party. she was as sweet as ever still, she would always be a kind person. nothing could change that, but she wasn’t as quiet as she used to be. it was nice seeing her talk more, no longer stuttering out every other word.

‘if i bring my friends tonight and the rest meet her there’s no doubt she’ll be around more often. i already know they’re gonna be all over her, i’m just curious if she’s still innocent sex wise. last time i seen her she was definitely still a virgin. maybe i should ask her myself.’

[windsweptlassie]

On Love

So as you know I made this uquiz with an open-ended question at the end, tell me something about love, and I’ve gotten the most wonderful responses! They range from descriptions of wonderful partners: 

Lauren: oh, how long I went without being myself until I met him and he showed me who I truly was and that my worth was higher than I ever thought was possible

Levi: I love who we are with each other. I love who I am with you. In your company I am me. In your company I am the best of me. The best with the best, I've told you. I wouldn't give you up for anything

Daniel: i fell in love for the first time when i was 17... at the time, i didn’t realize it was the first time, i thought i’d been in love before, a couple times actually, but falling in love at 17 was such a fulfilling experience, it felt so forceful yet so right. it’s when i first truly understood what love was. never before had i felt so understood and so cared for as i did when i was in love with her, and she was in love with me. it’s been nearly 4 years since then, and nearly 3 years since we broke up and stopped talking, and still, i think about her almost every day. i’ve never known anyone like her; to me, she was love itself.

El: oh i’m in love with everyone that i know op!!! especially my girlfriend, of course ,but also my friends and my family and random people on the street and uh

Grace: i’ve met my soulmate and we plan on getting an apartment and marrying after college

A: I’m going to ask the woman I love to marry me and I just wanted to tell someone because I am so excited

Jeremy: you ever have that feeling where basically after years of denying that someone couldnt understand you in a way or love you and then the next thing you know you happen to find that person and its just great from then on out? idk how to explain it anyways I love my boyfriend so much he means the world to me

Lucy: i am so happy i have found the one i love

to descriptions of best friends and favorite people:

Nightbyrd: Love is a hug from an alzheimer's patient who hasn't the foggiest idea who you are, but they know you're worth hugging.

H: I have been doing so much yoga with my roommate recently!! It's a great way to center my mind for an hour

Riv: [platonic] i’ve literally never met anyone who understands me in the way that my best friends do. they’re literally the best people in the whole world and i genuinely don’t know what i’d do without them. i love them with my whole heart

Cillian: when i talk about how much i love my best friend i get so teary eyed because i cant believe that such a genuinely wonderful person wants to speak to me every day - i care for her more than anyone else on this planet

O: my two besties are my sources of happiness and they’re so pretty i would die for them :D

to beautiful quotes:

Kai: "you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on." DARCYYYY PLS MY HEART CANT HANDLW THIS PAIN

Dorian: When the plane went down in San Francisco, I thought of my friend M. He’s obsessed with plane crashes. He memorizes the wrecked metal details, ____the clear cool skies cut by black scars of smoke. Once, while driving, he told me about all the crashes: The one in blue Kentucky, in yellow Iowa. How people go on, and how people don’t. It was almost a year before I learned that his brother was a pilot. I can’t help it, I love the way men love. (accident report in the tall, tall weeds- ada limon, bright dead things)

Adam: every day I think about lemony snicket I will love you if I never see you again I will love you if I see you every Tuesday or however it goes. and it KILLS ME. love only fits in small things

Hero: “Your heart beats in my ribs and mine in yours, and both in God’s… The divine magnet is in you, and my magnet responds.” - Herman Melville to Nathaniel Hawthorne

Mary: "Love is watching someone die."

Alex: "meet me at blue diner, i'll take coffee and talk about nothing baby"

Sparrow: "How dare you love me like you've never known fear?" and "For you, the world," and "Darling, I was born to press my head between your shoulder blades," and "Will you start where I end?"

V: " You want to die for love. You always have. " and "someone will remember us, I say, even in another time" are living rent free in my mind 24/7 and I'm shaking. When will I finally be not the only one falling ?

Sahar K: To love another person is to see the face of god!!!

Miriam: all the love in the world is useless when there is total lack of understanding- kafka

Juls: Don’t you think they are maybe the same? Love and attention

to practices of love:

Leo; i love feeling happy bc somebody that i love is happy and comfortable....like its not about me i just love seeing you smile. we are safe together...idk i just feel it bro

A: I like to think love is leaning on each other during the light or dark days. Its a personal mission of mine to find out who I am and what I want. Yet I never seem to find my place in this world and as I look and look , I realise the only place I can be myself even with or without the efforts to find myself was done on that day or not, I am always tired so shall I lean on you? And you can lean on me as well. I shall be your fig tree and you shall be my favourite willow tree.

L: It's too late at night to be soul searching, but it's a journey we all seem to find ourselves on these days.

Anthi: feeling safe and at home, I guess (also I love frogs)

Julia: ive found that loving someone is like becoming your own thesaurus. you have to find or come up with infinite ways to say, you’re beautiful, or, i love you. it’s a gift

Galexies: ive been writing letters to the person i'd love one day since i was 14. i write them in a little journal usually, but i've been digitizing them into emails and sending them to one account that i'll give to them someday. i'd like to put pictures, but i haven't been outside much recently so theres that. i wonder if they'd like the sunsets i have on file, or if they'd find my cat cute in a bowtie.

Caeles: Love is sharing fruit slices and making someone tea at random

Dundy: Love is sending your friends cursed shit and watching them react in horror

to crushes and potential loves: 

Jess: I have a crush on my roommate. It sucks, but it's also wonderful. I get to be around him all the time when we're at school. we share a life together; it's rather domestic. I think a lot about marrying him and being domestic with him forever. It won't happen, and I'll move on eventually, but I'll be happy with him for as long as I can. I hope you feel loved tonight, because you are. Sleep well.

Aki: I so desperately want to believe that love is fake because I’ve seen what happens when loved ones leave but whenever I start to convince myself that I’ll never love anyone my best friend messages me telling me she loves me. She’s the only person I’ve ever pictured having a future with but love scares me and I don’t really know what to do but I think as long as she’s with me in some way, I’ll be fine

Hi: her her i keep thinking abt her.... gonna see her in 8 days or so i really miss her. its ok if shes never gonna love me like i want her to really being her friend spending time with her makes me the happiest girl on earth.... outsold antidepressants

Kit: this guy i have a crush on has hypnotically dark brown eyes and he's wonderful and shows me kindness like no one else

Juno: my crush has all the stars in his eyes

Mads: When I have the courage to meet my eyes with hers, the world stands still

Be Nice To Me: Look bro I never do these but I am yearning to hold them SO badly right now and someone needs to know it besides me

to the trials of love: 

Pppppp: I just wanna love like from the movies and what I read about.. but everyone tells me that that’s fictional and rare to find in the real world and it sucks bc it seems like all the guys I’ve met are terrible and the norms of society are all about not respecting women and uthdjdjdk

Manny: I have been in love before and I will be again but I’m not now and I miss it

Ok: I don't think I've ever been in love, though I love many people. I am waiting for the day I look at someone and can say, YES. IT'S YOU.

Chloe: idk rn i'm like okay with my love and i'm happy so we'll see i'm just a little cautious rn bc my last partner told me i didn't know how to love

L: love is so fucking complicated I don't even know where to start

Corrin: He’s not real and it worried me that I will never allow myself to live or be loved because I will always be waiting for him

Sean: Good luck it dont exist

Serena: i want 2 b in love :(( </3

13: I don’t know anymore

M: I just really don’t like dealing with it lol

to beloved characters: 

Janaya: I’m madly in love with my comfort and kin character and I hope maybe in the afterlife I can relive a life with him in some sort of dimension

Jhgjdf: when i was a kid i had a crush on ash ketchum from pokemon and id always daydream about being a female pkmn trainer and meeting him and we fall in love

to advice and prose: 

Mikolai: Love is earth, gentle and soft at first flight but upon being broken, drowns you in the dry choking wastes of its consequences...

Thex: Your hands will not go cold without someone to hold them. I am here. I will be here.

Kat: it is the nearest proof to god that i find myself surrounded by people who love in a way that complements so wonderfully the way i love

H: believe in love out of spite believe in love to prove everyone wrong believe in love because you were told not to and we will not do what we’re told anymore believe in love because it’s the strongest act of teenage rebellion we have left believe in love because it’s easier not to and when is easy worth doing? believe in love because everything says otherwise but you are untouchable, you are your own, you are not made by their design believe in love because, perhaps, you are love

Ali: I used to want a kind of love that feels like coming home and now I want nothing more than to be away from home on many different adventures

Em: you dont need to love yourself to accept it from others

to the small, the simple, and the sweet:

Ireal: Poems

O: Flowers

Fay: ah im sorry that i’m feeling unmotivated but you are very kind.

Ad: we love LOVE

A: <3

Isak: small things

H: intense

Hey: Listening to a clock ticking away

S: her

E: <3

Hania: Amorous, I adore that word ^^

Catboy: wholesome

J: i love love so much it hurts

Emmy: hi i love the song darkest of discos!! try and give it a listen!! <3

Nora: Love is painful, but most of the time love is great

Ariel: i like the comfort it can bring

M: i love love

to food!

Cool Whip: Matzoh ball soup!!

Woop: I love sausages.... I hope that's ok with you?

and animals too <3

Nee: hmm i have pet geckos and i love them very much!

96: raccoons ????

DJ Big Penis: cats

:3: I Love frogs,,, love is stored in the frog,,,

I hope that this serves as a sweet compilation of what love means! Love to all of you, it warms my heart so much to hear about your people and your geckos and your characters and soup and all the songs and quotes you love. <3 Strength to all of you who are figuring out to do about your feelings for your crush, and congratulations to you who are proposing or moving in with your person! Your words are a source of light to me, truly.

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, ep 12-16 thoughts! these episodes, in comparison to the first 10 or so, felt way more laid back and low-stakes, which I appreciate sometimes. I didn't appreciate how lazy jack's halfa design was in masters of time, it made me so annoyed I redesigned it. 👎🏻 u_u

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-'picking a fight with me and my upgraded form!' 'you upgraded to a mullet?' DANNNNY. YOU CANT SAY THAT TO TECHNUS. YOUVE HAD A MULLET TWICE NOW ('fun' split danny, and evil future danny BOTH HAD THEM). I HAVE THE RECEIPTS.

-danny seeing technus hurting valerie and yelling I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU IN HALF. SAMEEEE <3

-axion labs is now a part of vladco. FUCK YOU VLAD. hes not even really IN this episode, but just thought I'd throw out a nice fuck you anyway.

-'capable of blasting a single person into space in (2) minutes!' tucker. that would kill someone. i mean yeah they might get to space, but theres NO WAY THEY WOULDNT CATCH FIRE, OR THEIR ORGANS WOULDNT LIQUIFY BECAUSE OF THE STRAIN. THEY'D PROBABLY PASS OUT BEFORE THEN, BUT. ...no, okay, I get why vlad bought this company. this is RIGHT up his alley.

-danny KNOWS VAL DIDNT DO THIS, THAT SOMEONE STOLE THE SUIT. AND SPENDING ALL NIGHT CHATTING WITH HER. <3 and val is a 9TH DEGREE BLACKBELT?? danny's mom is, too!! omg and she hunts ghosts, his parents would love her. and her fav fruit is kumquat bc its a funny word. im so with danny val is amazing. I love her and I Do Not Want To Hear It From Sam.

-I knew danny wanted to be an astronaut, but the bowling tidbit is like. yes give me more useless info abt these characters, I love tiny details that make them feel more human, and im glad hes got hobbies aside from ghost stuff, we dont really see a lot of that!!! (I mean, we knew 'fun' danny from when he split himself in half liked bowling, so obv it makes sense he LIKES it, but hes very GOOD at it. so proud of him, bowling king) val calling him neil armstrong and them teasing each other. LOVE THAT.

-technus you are my favorite grandpa for setting this up. SAM WHY ARE YOU BEING SO CREEPY BE HAPPY FOR YOUR FRIEND!!! STOP SPYING ON THEM!!! who actually cares if technus did 'set them up' together, theyre having fun and enjoy each others company!!! 'you think the universe wants you two to be together?' 'i dunno, but maybe /I/ do!' EXACTLY DANNY!!! SOO TRUE.

-and valerie being happy sam said she wants to try and be happy for them and make room at the lunch table for them. and hugging sam over it. VAL NEEDS MORE FRIENDS.

-VAL GOING AFTER TECHNUS IN HER SUIT WITH (1) MILK, AND (1) TREE BRANCH AND KEYS!!!. I LOVE YOUUUU BEST GIRL. her new suit kicks ass

-dannys like 'HEY IM AN ASTRONAUT :D' AW. ...HES IN SPACE... the fact he's actually intending to give her the ring. with SAMS NAME ON IT?? IM CRINGING DANNY NO. YOU CANT DO THAT...thank god he didnt. thank god valerie cut it off and said they can just stay friends for now. tbh, they both have a lot on their plates!! they obv both still like each other...it can be a future thing!! when she knows about phantom! youre 14 theres no need to rush. I just want her to have friends and be happy :(

-...danny struggles to do (1) pull up. SAME. but all the ghost fighting in phantom form REALLY doesnt carry over at ALL? that sucks

-sam being as fit as she is, is not just a goth. shes a goth jock.

-honey I Shrank Our Kid, One of his Enemies, and his Bully: the episode

-dash's crush on phantom is So Obvious. fitness buddies :) watching them interact always makes me laugh. also, phantom, with PANTS. 'how many costume changes you gonna go through, what is this, vegas??' DASSH DJKSFHASKDF

-MADDIE GOING AFTER THE MOUSE WITH A BROOM, WHAT THE FUCK. AAAH. JUST BUY SOME KIND OF MOUSE TRAP.

-danny likes lime and vinegar chips. which sound very good.

-'our boy finally has the physical prowess of a 60 year old president!' ...poor danny LMAO

-'what's wrong with beauty pageants' oh tucker you sweet naïve child. what ISNT wrong with them. who approved this for a high school?? (I mean, yes. unfortunately child pageants exist, but...) also danny and tucker once again treating the pretty girls like objects. I need to meet the grown man who wrote this, I just want to talk...

-prince aragon's dragon form reminds me of maleficent (color scheme wise) which is always a bonus. considering the episode is called beauty marked, I feel like the sleeping beauty references are deliberate

-sam with the fake fangs. once again her accessories never miss. hate the 'not like other girls, girls who get sucked into this kind of thing are all shallow and all want to be carbon copies' bs tho.

-sam trying to be the Worst Bride, being rude as shit. DORA IS GOING TO GET KILLED. DID YOU MISS THE PART WHERE SHE SAID THE PRINCE WILL HAVE HER HEAD IF YOU ARENT THE IDEAL BRIDE. YOU /KNOW/ DANNY WILL COME SAVE YOU. JUST ACT CHILL UNTIL THEN. even if you were doing fine to get him to take off the crown, consider maybe not letting his poor sister get punished also?? sure, she could also take off the crown and has dragon powers, but did you know that for sure?? dora didnt even really realize it until you guys talked!! (or at least, she was scared to stand up to him. you had no guarantee she would...) but. good for dora. ANOTHER friendly ghost to add to the List :)

-tucker is so under appreciated in his time. if he was doing a tech-based campaign today he'd have a better shot. people in 2004 had NO IDEA how much tech would be a part of our day-to-day lives...altho. tbh if you're going to be running for student council president, maybe you should..focus on things to actually improve the school? since he's going for a tech angle, he could say like, he would be running fundraisers for the schools computers to be upgraded, etc? we've already SEEN he can be good at money-making entrepreneur type stuff!!

-oh my god wait. this episode is JUST YUGIOH?????! A REBORN PHAROH USING A TEENAGER AS A VESSEL?? YESSSSSS

-tucker using his new minion to feed him grapes and carry him. AND LOCUSTS ONTO THE BULLIES. I love how when he's possessed, he gains winged eyeliner.

-this episode is giving me big 'plankton makes everyone in bikini bottom his slaves and build monuments of him from the spongebob movie' vibes. and the pharaoh has a traitor who works for him? VERY big yugioh vibes. aknadin confirmed

-I like that danny is still completely exhausted after using ghostly wail. (still patiently waiting on him to get duplication)

-LOVE the fenton's 80s outfits. I get hes 14 and embarrassed by everything they do because theyre his parents, but. cmon, this is one objectively cool thing theyve done. love 80s fashion.

-...was vlad just standing on that streetlight waiting for danny to come out? how'd he know they'd be coming out the back? how long has he been up there???

-oh, wait, his ecto-acne has flareups? that SUCKS. danny was...well I dont want to say he was LUCKY HE HALF-DIED, but he was lucky his was pretty instant (I'm assuming that had to do with the power/scale of the portals being different?) I remember in the ep we met him, vlad made a point of saying he was stuck in a hospital for a long time, so. that really actually sucks and I feel bad. not that it excuses anything he's done...but like. it does suck.

-vlad being so sure danny wouldnt help him he made it somehow contagious to his friends to make sure he'd get help? danny is a nice boy, he wouldve helped if it was anyone else. the only reason he wouldn't have is because of the shit vlad did to him, on purpose. vlad 100% dug his own grave by being the biggest asshole, so it is very hard to feel bad for him.

-clockwork is back!!! and making danny learn lessons The Hard Way. Uhhh, okay. I kind of get Danny’s logic, that time traveling this far back would prevent vlad from becoming a halfa also, ergo no arch nemesis or ectoacne to worry about. But the fact that was basically the first solution Danny came up with to solve this problem is actually so funny. It’s so extreme

-APPRICIATION FOR THESE 80S LESBIAN BG CHARACTERS.

-vlad telling maddie in the lab (in the 80s) he has something he's wanted to tell her 'for a long time'...how long have they known each other? I assumed they met in college, since jack always calls vlad his college buddy/roommate, so jack and vlad for sure met in college, but did vlad know maddie longer? thats surprising if so. Tho we don’t know what year of college they’re in so they could mean they met as freshmen and a few years have past…speaking of maddie shes crushing the 80s look.

-vlad blames jack, but. maybe dont stick your face 2 inches from the portal??! THIS FEELS LIKE LAB SAFETY BASICS. IF SOMETHING HAS POTENTIAL TO BE DANGEROUS, DONT GET NEAR IT. WITH YOUR FACE UNPROTECTED IN ANY WAY. (altho jack didnt really give a Big Warning besides screaming BONZAI. so. also that, but cmon.) also, they need gloves, goggles, and to pull all of their hair back tbh. but fuck lab safety, I guess!

-cryyyyinnng at how lazy they were with jack's ghost form design, its just plasmius' design on jack!!! you couldve given him his own design!!

-there. I did that in about 10 minutes and its somehow less lazy than what made it into the show. embarrassing! better yet, I think the episode would've been better if maddie would've gotten the ectoacne. or maybe its just me, wanting to see her design! anyway. I'm sure people have already done redesigns of them both as halfas. I have to go look after I finish this watch through. Also mildly frustrated jacks resentment and bitterness is basically also a copy paste of vlads backstory. They’re different characters, I really don’t think jack would stew in bitterness and jealousy the same way vlad would!! I also don’t think he’d give up after one time of trying to hunt ghosts and getting laughed at. Our canon timeline says different…I dunno, I get it was for laughs, but I’m annoyed because the POTENTIAL this plot has…

-did vlad really wear a stupid cheese hat to his wedding. ok actually that kinda rules. and the cheese door knocker. the dairy-only buffet table. vlad still got rich, just on being the New Dairy King. (Assuming that means he owns a lot of dairy businesses?) ok! this actually is great. hope maddie isn't lactose intolerant!

-'no matter how hard I tried, I could never get rid of my ghost half, the half I knew Maddie could never accept' ohh, ouch, what a horrible thing to say to her HALF GHOST SON. 'YOUR MOM WILL NEVER ACCEPT YOU' BASICALLY.

-maddie strapping danny to the table with a lazer pointed at him in a secret lab she keeps from vlad that she makes a point of saying is sound proof so he can scream all he wants...CHRIST. DANNYS POOR PYSCHE.

-also, not to feel bad for alternate vlad (because, he did lie to maddie saying jack blames her and never wants to see her again...) but. being married to a woman 20+ years and she immediately goes back to jack? if she didnt love vlad and feels like she had to hide shit from him, and says she wasted her best years with him, WHY MARRY HIM. it feels like leading him on!!! cannot believe im feeling bad for vlad, but. this alternate timeline vlad is significantly Less Horrible than Our Vlad. did she not think she'd get funding for her ghost stuff? (which, fair assumption since they're considered 'ghost fanatics/nuts in canon...but...) why did she think jack or vlad would be her ONLY OPTIONS? be like your sister. be single. Actually, this au could’ve been really interesting if after the accident, vlad lied to her and said jack never wanted to see her again, but she stays single. Imagine how much that would bug vlad… like, in her mind, it was never a competition it was jack or no one type situation…

-danny being like 'leave him ALONE' this jack is a HOMEWRECKER, DANNY. let them go to court and settle this at the least. ...or just throw vlad into the portal. (100% human, defenseless vlad) CHRIST, MADDIE THATS BRUTAL. THATS MURDER.

-danny seeing his mom immediately accepting him and his dad being half ghosts in this universe, if I was him this would be a great sign that his universe's maddie would also.

-*maddie voice* "clockwork will help!" *2 seconds later, with clockwork* "I will Not Help." TOUGH LOVE KING. YES LET DANNY SEE THE SODA HIMSELF AND DEVOLP BETTER OBSERVATION SKILLS.

-when clockwork ""reset time to the way it was"" just before danny "meddled"" ...did he really erase a whole alternate timeline? ...damn. because maddie and danny both called it an alternate timeline by name, it splitting when the college incident went different, so it wouldnt have really mattered if he reset it, right. like because danny's timeline is on a different stream? why didnt clockwork just. show danny a replay and not Reset That Timeline. wh...I wonder how many people that Erased From Existence. Anyway! once again stating clockwork is casually terrifying!

[sassytrickster666]

Fiesty : Part One

Nothing is mine but the plot.

Please message me if you notice any mistakes! I tend to overlook ‘em sometimes. Also, probably not safe for work. Will add more chapters if anyone’s interested :3

It wasn´t long until you realised what had happened. Neither was it long until you realised what was about to happen. Since here you were, the young damsel in distress, kidnapped by what potentially was a murderer.

Of course, you weren´t entirely oblivious to current events of your hometown. There was so much going on you doubt you could’ve missed it anyways. With the Overseer and the Horde on the loose and all. Though somehow you hadn´t been worried about that. Somehow it had never crossed your mind that you would be in the middle of one of these events. Yet you were. Yay.

Since here you were, chained to a bloody headboard. It was pretty old and made of some kind of wood. The walls were reasonably tall and coloured an ugly grey with spots of a darker and lighter one. Rays of sunshine coming through holes in the taped Windows enlightened the old room. An abandoned building perhaps? You expected it to smell foul and moist, though the smell of citrus filled your nostrils. How did that happen?

Curious about what else you could spot, you tried to sit up the best you could. In nothing but your fucking underwear. Great. And that´s leaving out two of those annoying-as-hell social butterflies from college chained to some pipes in the same room. Honestly, you´d rather just stab yourself than being stuck in a room with them.

Luckily, you had a feeling that wouldn´t take long.

________________________________________________________________________

A little while later, one of those pesky little assholes woke up, and of course started screaming and crying, thus waking the other up, resulting in not one but two pesky little assholes crying and screaming in the small room with you. Awesome.

It didn´t take long until someone responded to that. Or in hindsight, was is someones?

A tall figure came walking in, smiling a sweet smile. Ah, was this supposed to be comforting? A well-built figure, towering over you, that had kidnapped you, BUT smiling. They were wearing a turtleneck and a long skirt. This was going to be an interesting experience.

_________________________________________________________________________

In the three following days plenty had happened. The same well-built figure had come in the room, speaking with a lisp and wanting to show you how he liked to dance. Apparently his name was Hedwig. He was 9 years old and somehow scared the pesky little assholes, whom you´d now learnt were named Lisa and Darcy, to death. You thought he seemed sweet really, and it probably couldn´t hurt to try and become friends with one of the personalities that held you captive. Thank god you´d heard about this Horde and DIS on the news or you´d have no idea what was going on. You´d also learnt that the smiling female personality was called Patricia. Now, she´s the one that scared you. Lisa and Darcy might have fallen for the smile-trap but oh no you didn´t. If there was one thing you learnt in life it was that the ones with a dead smile were the ones you ought to watch out for. She seemed to be in charge, since you saw her the most.

Then came Dennis, and you didn´t really know what to make of him. Sure, he was the ´strong and silent´ one that must´ve taken you all. AND he was a compulsive cleaner, but sometimes he looked as if something about all this was bothering him.

And that´s just the first day. In the afternoon of the second day the ritual prepping began.

It´s not as if you´re a real big fan of getting your hair braided by a scary as fuck woman was your greatest dream, but at least you got food. Finally. You´d also decided it would be smarter to just be polite to this Patricia, since you had the feeling that if you weren´t she would stab you in the eye with a fork. Which she did to Lisa after Lisa thought it was a bright idea to make fun of the mismatch of clothes Patricia was wearing. Ouch.

Thus, the situation was still miserable, but now Lisa has lost an eye, Darcy was in constant shock and you had Lisa’s eye-juice on one of your favourite shirts. You realise this might sound harsh, but you knew a lot of people like those girls and they were not really your type of people. Because of this, you were almost grateful that you were separated from them.

And just when you were beginning to wonder where Mr. Clean had gone he walked in to confiscate your eyeball-marinated T-Shirt. And there was still something about him you couldn´t really place. Of course you had to smile at him sweetly. Most men tended to have a weak spot for sweetish smiling girls anyways and you figured if there is a way I can exploit this i have to. No harm, no foul. Actually, how sick of a thought it might be, he was quite handsome, wasn't he? You almost slapped yourself for thinking that, but he was. Dennis was tall, confident, he was so muscled you could see it even through his thick grey outfit…

Preoccupied in your thoughts, you almost forgot you were supposed to be taking off your shirt until he corrected you. Eyebrows raised, hand held out waiting and all.

So, cheeky fuck as you were you wanted to try and play around a bit. You would most likely be dead in a couple of days, if not hours, anyways.

You did take of your shirt, though a little more slowly than you should´ve, wiggling around a but more than necessary as you attempted to pull the fabric over your bust. During the whole ordeal, Dennis was keeping eagle eyes on you. He watched your every move carefully, as if trying to understand. Was he on to you? You tried to make eye-contact the whole time, for tension but also to try and monitor if he showed any sign of interest or change. Nothing. Damnit, you thought.

And that´s when, when he turned around tp walk away with your shirt in his hands, with the sight of your womanly body in just trousers and your lacy bra imprinted in his mind, he stuttered when bidding you farewell! Ha! So Mr. Clean was does have a weakness. Now just hope you live long enough to do something with that. Blushing, you sat down on the bed. You know you were just putting on a show to trick Dennis….but you just can't help but be attracted to him. Am I really that fucked up? you thought.

_________________________________________________________________________

Fast forward three hours. You'd just met the Beast. He was crawling over your wall, bloody from what you guess were your previous roommates, yapping on about the weak and the strong and the damaged or something. Apparently you were impure?

Seemingly, you were going to die a painfull death anyways so why not ask what the fuck it meant. I mean, it´d be nice to know why he thought you should be devoured right?

Apparently, you were impure because you hadn´t suffered? Wait what? What the actual fuck did he know about whether you´d suffered or not?! Pissed off as you were, you lost the ability to shut up and told him about it.

´What in the living hell do you know about me having suffered or not, you bloody men are all the same! As if you can just look at someone and can make assumptions about every single bit of my life and who I am? Well, guess what asshole you dont get to decide! Not all bloody suffering is visible. Who are you to say I´ve never been hurt, never been attacked, never wanted for it all to be over? Jackass.´ You pretty much speech-yelled at him.

You had no idea where that came from…. and it felt pretty good. Until the Beast jumped down from the ceiling right in front of you, eyeing you. Then you felt regret and the pressing fear coming over you. Was he sizing you up? Deciding whether he believed you? And you thought exams were stressful.

Suddenly, he spoke ´Feisty…..but true.´ was all he said. When he was walking around you he was, what, sniffing you? when the sound of a door banging opened filled the room. People! Never did you think before you could be so happy with hearing lots of people coming towards you. But you were. You anxiously looked around, waiting for the Beast´s reaction. Would he simply run off? Would he attack them? Take your life anyways?

It wasn't long before you were put out of your misery. It was maybe a split second before he acted. He looked you in the eye. His sea-blue ones didn't give away his thoughts. He came closer and closer. Then he whispered in your ear ´see you soon´. You could just feel him smirk. Then he ran off as fast as he could, but not before licking a thick stripe up your neck.

[fireflythecinnamonjollyrancher]

it’s time for ~a year in review~

JANUARY

ya bitch went to paris and became like good, like REALLY good friends with my current roommates!!! we got to see some really beautiful sights, do some STRANGE things like watch a french indie movie and get fucked up at a french gay party club in the basement of our hostel. i apparently shaved my head again (per the use lets be real)

FEBRUARY

accidentally started my Com capstone like a total moron but took it like a mf champ. got to party at a friends place and watch all of “dont hug me im scared”. made a friend try a grap for the first time (he was a sophomore in college). studied a lot with kelli -- and by studying i mean we mostly bullied each other. WENT TO SEE WATSKY with a super dope friend (sad we fell out of touch but she’s living her best life and im happy for her). also like got to meet george watsky uhm WHAT wild. bullied my college in the snow and also manically shoveled the walk. was a bootlicker for the college and dressed in a taco suit

MARCH

WOOF i got pretty fucked up for capstones cast party and this is where the beginning of the end was for some of my friendships. however, other friendships were being built so im grateful for that. ran lights for a really awesome slam poet. FOUND THE KEY THAT WAS MISSING FROM THE THEATRE (turns out it was Sab whoops). spent a lot of time with someone who is no longer a friend -- her choice, certainly not mine. went home for spring break and took so many pictures of my cat. got selected as stage manager for comedy of errors which was a nightmare of a production but certainly not the worst.

APRIL

became a vegetarian!!!! joined/started the flat earth cult because of comedy. helped randi film her weird videos, which was so much fun! the bat came back to the theatre and Basil and I both saw them. comedy of errors opened and it was intense and i really hated every second. ranted about being in a scene for directing, which means i’d been in it for a second. that shit sucked bros oh my god????? he was never on time, he was so disorganized and didn’t understand his own character. organized a dinner for the cast because they had missed a campus dinner for the show. celebrated my best friends birthday!!!! “I can read!” was on the news with two others for comedy. also presented my capstone research for academic showcase day (i still can’t believe people listened to me rant about birth order)

MAY

more videos! this one was zak bagel bites with again my best friends. was elected president for APO and i couldn’t be more grateful. did a research proposal with a friend and i cannot BELIEVE we’re still friends after it because we really could have killed each other. physically fought the MONSTER that is jess (didn’t actually, really should have). helped two friends fall in love on accident/purpose. was elected as KPY president (damn) and forcibly elected as parliamentarian for LPH. ended my junior year. started work immediately after going home for my dad. mostly answered phones, worked 7:30-5 every day for the whole summer yikes. managed to pass junior year with a 4.0!!!

JUNE

 learned a lil how to quote and did NOT enjoy it. went to PRIDE with my wife and bought my first ace flag. it was actually petrifying to buy and wear, but i have one now which is awesome. holy shit got my first tattoo!!! it has faded a bit now but still looked awesome. it was the beginning of an addiction. picked up an internship at my old theatre company and... deeply regretted it as it pushed my 12 hour days to almost 18 hours. literally fell in love with the music director. 

JULY

a random woman complimented me??? so that was fun. watched after my old band directors kids (they were a nightmare i literally never want kids). got to hike and do all that fun stuff. went to the local county fair

AUGUST

my mom admitted to loving brooke more than me on her birthday (fair). got a card from my office team to celebrate my 21st a lil early. went back for SENIOR YEAR BOYS. got drunk at an old friends place. did marching band. moved in with two of my BEST FRIENDS IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD. took improv with friends which was lit. we even did a whole performance. met a new friend! my other roommate brought in a new kitten (which became a whole thing holy shit). used school sanctioned ipads to dick around. shaved my head againnnn. was sober at a party (woof why). got the drunkest i have ever been and puked everywhere and passed out on the stairs. have not ever reached that level again. also cracked my phone. fully assumed position as president of two clubs. started rhetoric (yucky) and theatre and diversity (also ick but for different reasons)

SEPTEMBER

became NOT sober literally the next day nice. started the MASH group i think??? which is like the only thing im proud of. it was around here. had to pick up a friend whos car broke down. went to pride in a local town with friends!!! that was fun. turned 21!! couldn’t celebrate bc school and stage management, but my two roommates still made sure i had a good time. marching band boys! we did a LONG ASS parade with my cute lil section. did mixers for KPY and APO! had our first football game. held a band rehearsal in the dark because the lights didn’t work which was funny and SO weird. walked to the trains with some really awesome friends. broke into the cemetery and stole a traffic cone and put it on a statue on campus bc mania. went to a friends musical career takeoff and ran her merch table bc the person who was supposed to run it showed up almost an hour late. someone showed up at the lib while i was closing with a friend asking for a place to stay. i hope hes good now. tried omegle again for whatever reason. tried to go to a local diner and was DENIED bc they went from 24 hours to closing at 10pm so i had a mental breakdown in my car at 2am in a McDonalds parking lot. FINALLY got to celebrate my birthday and go to the bars!!! well bar singular. but had a really good time even if those people aren’t really my friends any more

OCTOBER

homecoming boysssss!!!! also ace pride. worked the WORST thing I have ever had to operate in the chapel but the people were nice about it so i was kinda okay. also got to be a part of the dopest percussion show and ran lights and sound for it. rhetoric ended thank christ and i never want to talk about anti-war messages in MASH ever again. finally learned that my best friend has a partner and was ECSTATIC. worked a haunted house which literally sucked so hard but we made bank on it so im okay with it. were robbed (i still have suspicions who did it but ill keep my mouth shut). dressed up as a newsie for halloween, and my roommates and i all took pictures which was awesome. started my internship and movement and stage

NOVEMBER

LAST FOOTBALL GAME got drunk too often probably lol. got an impulse tattoo with my roommates. went to a soccer game. went to the trains drunk and also olive garden. did trauma training so i got to act hysterical (act?). did some KPY bonding. had a hella long saturday with a concert and everything. shot my shot and MISSED. did greek thanksgiving. played DD for someones birthday bc expired license. got my NEW license. had a horrible time driving to and from thanksgiving break. got to hang with my WIFE

DECEMBER

made it home somehow?? did box office for the children’s show as well as publicity which was a lot of work tbh. went on a double date with my roommates and their partner. did the filming for the college christmas card. had an awesome party at our place and i regret nothing. celebrated the moving out of our 4th roommate. worked my last gig at the museum. managed to scrape by again with a 4.0. threw a great party at my place for like 5 days straight (jesus christ). did a horrible puzzle. tried an edible (suffered for it). hiked in the mountains a lil. caught up with high school friends by drinking which was AWESOME. saw Frozen 2. went out with my fam bam. had a great christmas. also threw a new years party (what??? that just got over) and felt like a pretty good hostess (i just provided alcohol lol but it worked) and got to catch up with some great great awesome friends and keep people safe and off the roads for new years. 

all in all a damn good year. its crazy how quickly things change, but im grateful for the place that i am in. can’t wait to graduate this year and see what happens next!!!

[ellerevelle]

okay so im feeling crazy and detached again (as usual lately)

but instead of spiraling into absolute fucking panic, I’m deciding to take today to just ... not wholly subscribe to this manner of thinking BUT. JUST FOR NOW. I feel like taking some of the craziness flack off myself and blaming it on some shit outside of myself. Because feeling this weird and detached cant all just be me. So here’s a brainstorming of whats got me fucked up, in no particular order: 

Trump is our stupid President

That guy who told me he loved me daily and asked me to be his girlfriend after basically living with me immediately after meeting me and I fell for hard despite a ton of red flags CHEATED on me while I was away visiting home. 

And then blamed it on MY bad communication? fuck that guy. 

But now I see one of the girls he slept with (multiple times, three days in a row) I see her everywhere all the time in everyones instagrams, at everyones parties... ugh. 

Um. People are dying. Close to me. More importantly and spefcifically women I love are dead. 

I didnt get to see Inga before she died. I was too busy forging a relationship with CHEATER GUY. Didnt get home in time to see her. Talk to her. 

Grandma. This has been the whole first year without her, come November. Its subtle, but terrible and I hate it. She was my last matriarch. The last woman who’s blood is in me. 

because Mom’s dead too. And has been since August of 2015. 2015, right? God it feels like forever ago now, probably because I’ve pushed it away. She died unexpectedly and NO ONE IN MY FAMILY HAS SAID THE WORD SUICIDE OUT LOUD even though thats what happened. She OD’d on prescribed opiate painkillers to escape her depression. And we NEVER talk about it. 

So I kindof feel insane. Not talking about things that are clearly there. Like, are they not clearly there for anybody else? Now all my women are gone. My brother literally avoids talking about feelings. My dad is a little more receptive but is more the comforting type than the forthcoming, express onesself type. Getting sentimentality out of my brother is like pulling teeth sometimes. But yet if his son does something cute, its God’s Work and he cant help but cry and get that beautiful lovie squishy look on his face. 

I’m jealous of my own nephew. I see the way my Mom loved me, in the way my Brother loves his son. And I miss being that perfect to somebody. My Dad loves me forever and always and there isnt a word for how grateful I feel for our relationship. I dont take that for granted at all. It actually kindof scares me because... hah, well what if Dad dies? Like, before I’m ready? I’ll be even MORE fucked! 

Anyways. Austins been pissing me off. I’m sorry but although Polyamory is possible and cool and im sure quite beautiful for many, 

The Austin poly scene is fucked and tainted and a bunch of slutty people having orgies and not TALKING about anything and its ruining the healthy vibe poly is incumbent upon. 

So, whatever I’m angry. So fuck that noise. 

I feel like because of cheater guy and my anger at the psuedo poly orgy sexy bullshit scene in Austin, I feel like I’ve broken up with a whole group of friends. Like, I dont want to be around any of it. I dont want to see you eat mushrooms and twerk. I dont want to see your stupid, super naked outfit. I dont think its hot you carry a flogger or can pole dance or slink around like a tarantino character. It used to be hot and thrilling and fun, when I felt like it was connected and for love and sharing and caring. But now it all just is slutty and vapid and useless and cold. Like a sad clown. And thats not sexy, its dark and desperate. *this is about both VERY particular people and broad general strokes. There are several extremely amazing friends in the scene and outskirts thereof that truly inspire me and dont fall into this catagory in my mind, although they’d probably still be angry with me for dissing things ^^ the way I just did but. fuck it, this is MY journal entry and I can be irrational if I want to. 

You cant be open fucking minded ALL the time. Sometimes people really arent acting with anyones best intentions but their own. I’ve used up SO MUCH FUCKING ENERGY making myself soften and open and “woke” and trying to go with everybodys flow. And I’m exhausted and over it. I have my own principles and theres nothing wrong with having differing opinions than someone else. 

All summer I’ve been feeling like I’m a bad person for not liking or not understanding this hyper sexual scene in Austin. I thought, “why am I shaming a scene thats giving me opportunity to really shine and be free?” when, in an IDEAL world, yes thats what the scene could be. But in what actually fucking unfolds -- humans SUCK and dudes SUCK and girls SUCK and everybody (especially when horny) are fucking STUUUUPIIIIIDDDD and ideals get thrown out the window! people arent nearly as “woke” as I gave them the actual credit for. Seriously. So! I’m fuckin OUTTIE! 

I’ve felt broken up with a whole scene. FUck cheater guy, fuck poly, fuck orgies, fuck people who are reckless with my love. 

Back to the list:

I’ve been eating too much out of boredom. Which I’ll blame on lack of quality social interaction in this town. Where are the scholars? Where are the sexy edgy BRAINY people? I’m tired of hot people in little clothing in the summer. 

Ah! Another thing for the list. its been TOO FUCKING HOT OUT. FOR MONTHS. 100 DEGREES FOR MONTHS. thats enough to make anyone insane. 

So i’m sick of teenie boppers in their nothing outfits in the heat. 

I want old smart people in peacoats. I miss books and weather and frowns. Irritable debates about literature or physics or religious theories. 

I only like my own brand of cigarettes. 

My roommates are annoying me. I dont really like my house anymore. Theres too many humans and not enough square footage. Four people to one kitchen is TOO MUCH SHIT. EVERYONE BUYS THEIR OWN BANANAS AND THEY ALLLLLL GO BROWN ON THE TABLE. thats four peoples worth of bad bananas. FUcking stupid. 

I dont have a hairdresser here. Sometimes when I feel shitty I like to throw money at the problem. Buy something. Get a haircut. See a show. Etc. 

And my hairdresser love is in Philadelphia and getting a flight to get a haircut is slightly insane (without a longer visit)

I miss Adam. 

What else can I blame my upset on. Shitty politics, shitty weather, shitty social sexual scene in my town, I dont like my house, I dont like my hair. Its too expensive to live here. No one in my immediate acquaintance or friend circle seems interested in the sort of romantic relationship I’m seeking, nor if they did does anyone have the “it” factor I look for which I’ll *try* to describe maybe in another post. 

So. I sit inside my room and try to fix stupid remedial things as if itd make a big impact. I tidy and put away clothes in attempt to feel less cluttered but am too scared to make BIG cuts and BIG changes. So instead I light insence and watch netflix and eat too much. I have started going to Barre3 again more and have been semi regular with therapy so thats something. 

I really ought to start doing “morning pages” like the book Fiona loaned me suggests in its FIRST GODDAMN CHAPTER. But, alas, I am lazy. 

No, I have become recently lazy. 

I’m spoiled. I dont do things I dont want to do. Its a major character flaw. I only push and struggle if I see worthyness in it, and lately theres been serious lack of evidence of that in, well, anything.

 #depression! 

so, I guess in summation- because nothing has been a WORTHWHILE struggle, EVERYTHING feels like a struggle. Humph. thats... thats not good. But it does, because i dont see the worth in a lot of goals or tasks or even relationships, (and i dont mean the greedy “what can I GET for ME out of this!” sort of b.s.) (I mean the... conserve precious energy, is this going to teach me something or help me grow as a person or bring love into my life sort of vibe) ...

when I dont think the energy expenditure is going to pay off, I dont do it. Or I do it half way or lazily or with tentative fear. I guess I could do an experiment and just do everything with HOPE and see if my energy put in will get a different result... but. like. I feel like I did that all summer and he cheated on me. And my “friends” said “dont be angry, be poly” and I couldnt call on my Mom or Grandma and so I call on eating and isolation and running away to visit home where no one cares I dont have a job. where the house is big and the air is cold and my friends are smart. 

I really miss Kristian. That was one of the greatest feelings of self love in my entire life. I felt like, if someone that special noticed ME. Saw ME. Little old, semi chubby, not famous ME, and wanted me around for a couple tour dates. Then I ought to believe in myself TOO. I wanted to dance, I wanted to make art, I wanted to take photos, I wanted to be bold, I wanted to be humble, I felt so open and content with myself. I was motivated to work out, I was motivated to eat healthy and clean and small portions. It was easy. It felt so fun. I loved him. I dreamt big. My imagination was so warm and excited. My inner critic was GONE. 

But he faded away. He got back with his ex. The shooting star left the sky. I’m still grateful for the experience at all, but. 

I feel a little stupid for thinking anything could’ve happened. 

And I truly miss feeling so special and excited about life. 

I dont want to run away from Austin out of fear. But I cant tell if I’m unhappy and want to leave genuinely, or if this is the spoiled part of me thats like, “this sucks, lets leave.” instead of pushing though, curating something better with some struggle, and sticking it out. 

How do people make big life decisions like this? I feel like thats what marriages do. People stay together and fight. But sometimes they get divorced anyways, its just been longer. More years wasted. When maybe it wouldve been healthier to leave sooner and cut the cord and be free to live without, sooner. 

I really like a lot of things about this city. But I really dislike a lot too. And I cant tell where I want my life to go, in a grand sense, so its hard to pick which attributes will matter in the long run. 

I dont think I should leave yet. Maybe a new house. Or like, serious efforts to declutter this one. Is this just excuses? Ugh. 

Declutter this house. If that doesnt feel better, leave the house and move to a new part of austin. If that doesnt feel better, leave austin. 

I need a job. 

[kawaiigirlgoingghost]

That one time a guys Ghost and Demon gave me more attention than he did- A Storytime

To preface this story- I've been single for 2 years- I do go on dates using tinder from time to time but I knew this dude through friends and he was a genuine dude (he just possessed the personality of wet cat food and is kinda douchey to women due to not being in relationships whatsoever)

I wouldn't just roll up at someones house like this typically and do what I did under most circumstances!

We will call him "Sasuke" b/c I cant think of anything else but Naurto rn ( R*O*C*K*S* )

The story

This story takes place back in beginning of December and I was 21 at the time. I was swiping on tinder one morning and I see Sasuke is on tinder. Last time I had heard something from him is when he spazzed on me for dating someone and I blocked him on snapchat! I swiped on him thinking, "Hes not going to swipe lol" Hahaha I was WRONG. He indeed did and completely forgot he said what he said to me -.- so I was shook and he wanted to hang out that night- at his house. I obviously snapped immediately and asked- "Why are you asking me over to your house? Sasuke we've never hung out!" He flipped and unmatched me. He acts like he does not follow my cosplay account on instagram so I find his page and slide into his DM's. He starts treating me A LOT differently (idk why. I think I was close to 300 followers at that time?? I dont think following should determine how you treat people in my opinion.) He apologized and said he was moving (side note: I still do not know if he did move because I decided the universe was doing me a favor that nice and made sure he was blocked off my private accounts.) I straight up asked Sasuke "So you're alone is what you're saying- in an empty house and you want me to come over?" Of course I'm expecting him to address the obvious red flags popping up- you know an empty house, you're there alone and you want me over? He doesn't and says I'll be fine. A couple people know this dude and in my mind I got this figured out "I'll just leave enough DNA evidence with my hair, shoes, fingerprints, google location like good luck murdering me and getting away with it lol"

It's the best mindset I have towards things and someone who doesn't understand the value of forensic evidence could believe they could get away with such a crime. Also, the thought of dragging my dead body tires me. I assume the killer would get messy anyway b/c ya know. They didnt really sign up for a work out session with murder I guess? I digress

I got over there and I park in the driveway (like I was informed to, I hate just parking in places other people have claimed as there spot yk? So I asked him where like 4 times) So I'm parked and waiting for him to come outside. It's around 5:30/6 during the bigging of winter so the sun is gone and it's dark already. As I'm waiting I'm staring at this home and I'm getting a vibe from it. Unless I see that door open I'm not getting out of my car it's way to dark outside. I'm looking at this house and it's very inviting but when I see him come out hes very starled. So I quickly learn hes scared to be alone at the house by himself not by him telling me but by how hes acting, which he could have said upfront, I'm not a bad person! I'd stay with someone to house sit if they were scared of spirits in their home! I get inside and the house was set up like a split level so you'd walk up the stairs and get to the main level of the home. The first room was like an entry room and it had really pretty paintings in it. I, almost immediately, felt something standing back against the wall staring at him and I. When you walk up the stairs you face the hallway and the kitchen. The feeling was to the left of me, not to the right towards the hallway. This becomes important and relevant information.

Now this spirit, hes a younger looking business man, very attractive if I may add, and hes around 6ft, 6ft 1. I can feel hes taller than me and he is absolutely pissed off. He's not pissed with me and I can feel hes not aiming anything at me, he is, however, annoyed I'm there. I'm now walking through the hallway to his room. He shows me his little step up and stuff, which it's cute and his camera equipment was on point! I heard a knock two doors down but I know he has 2 bigger dogs that he always keeps with him so I guessed he put them two rooms down so they didn't swarm to me coming up the steps. We leave his room and go back down the hallway, he doesn't let them out so I assume hes like, scare they'll hurt me?? We through the kitchen to get to the living room to sit with him and chat. He starts talking about how he's suppose to be getting gumies (the not scooby doo kind so 🚮) from this dude. I'm looking at dude Sasuke like he's stupid. I asked him why he wanted me over so badily if he was waiting for something like that to come. He said he wanted a girl to kiss and then I feel something watching me. I stop him in the middle of his fuck boy bs and ask him if he has family or friends here. He said no, he has a cat and I know he has 2 dogs. I'm like oh okay I love cats and he asks what we should watch. I skeme and make him watch Yu Gi Oh. He leaves me alone off and on for about 2 and half almost 3 hours. His cat kept coming and going which was super cute but I hadn't seen the dogs and safely assumed they were in the room 2 doors down from his bedroom. I could still feel the man in that room, kinda peaking through the doorway to check on me through the opening over the kitchen sink. (the couch was on the other side of it) I was totally fine with that as he wasn't up to anything crazy and I didn't feel like he was going to harm me.

We changed to watching some show I now forget and I had to use the bathroom. He showed me where it was and that was all fine. He went back down the street or whatever he was doing to wait for his gummies. I saw the cats food bowl was in there (relevant I swear) and I do my business and leave out the other door. I went through a bigger bedroom and back out into the hallway. I heard knocking at the door again and told the dogs to calm down and I want back into that little room. This mans spirit was now very upset and I sorta felt for him for whatever reason. I go back into the living room and sit down. The man is now closer, like inside the kitchen staring at me watching tv. I then hear Sasuke come back in and call to me. I follow basically in front of the Invisible Man and into Sasukes room. The man does not follow us through the hallway so I determine hes just keeping an eye on me for some reason. He can see me still b/c I feel him staring. Sasuke sits his gummies on his dresser (this is relevant important information to back up a personal theory) and didnt do anything else but walk back out with me.

I follow him out and I can feel this man growing more upset by the second. I rush through the kitchen into the living room and sit down on the couch furthest away from the opening to the kitchen. Sasuke starts trying to put the moves on me by kissing me and I feel the man come into the room. Hes pissed and feels hurt. I take it as a warning that something's not right and push on Sasuke to stop. I ask him

"Is your house haunted?" The energy from the man almost automatically settled. I got the saddest feeling from the man in the corner. They completely ignore the fact they have a spirit in the home (which in my opinion, if you know for a fact it's not a malevolent spirit you are directly ignoring something a spirit that was human and imo I think its trashy to do. Especially if this spirit does NOTHING BUT EXIST WITH YOU!!! You're basically roommates.)

This spirit was, very obvious to me at least, very upset he wasnt being acknowledged. I think he knew I could feel and see him in a way so he flocked to me. Sasuke sort of stops and gets bug eyed at the same time. He asked why I ask so I tell him.

"I feel something here, hes been watching me." I answered. I wasn't upset or freaked out, but Sasuke was. I remember this vividly due to the fact I've never had anyone freak out on me like this!! The man backed off almost completely when he felt Sasuke getting freaked out so if he ever claims he had a demon in his home at that point: that man didn't want to harm him or me whatsoever. He gets up and starts looking around the room- at the walls, down at the floor and on tables.

At first I was confused at what he was doing but I noticed he was looking at things he sees every day and would have a usual spot it stayed in. He was actively looking for proof of poltergeist activity (imo I never did ask).

He gets done running around and sits back down next to me. He's visibly more calm and relaxed so whatever he was running around for helped I guess? He then starts to tell me he use to play is ipod at night to tall asleep and a spirit would violently rip it off and throw it. Of course, I thought he was exaggerating because the spirits in my home display that activity but only when my mother and I are extremely busy and ignore them so to speak.

They also don't have to use energy to throw things so far, they move things on high shelves while we're in eyesight or make a dish towel fall. They know we respond to more relaxed behavior than more extreme behavior.

I straight up told him that's bs, the man you have seems really okay and you dont even have an ipod dock. He said that was before he moved into another room. I asked him which room he stayed in orginally and he walks me into the hallway and shows me the door. 2nd. From. His. He said he would wake up with scratch marks but I didnt take that at face value until I left. I ask him where his dogs were, while I was here I'd love to give them pets (I love animals yk) he said they were ALREADY AT THE NEW HOUSE WITH HIS MOM.

I told him I was not going to be scammed out of pets and I knew his pup were in there. He asked me had a seen them. I hadn't, obviously, so I took the L and walked back out with him. He then proceeds to tell me the family (mom and uncle I believe) used an Ouija board in the home. I automatically hear a crunching noise behind me and look for his cat. She wasn't where the noise came from. I asked if his cat had food somewhere else? Like in the bigger bedroom. He said no.

Something was trying to make itself known and it wasn't the man. The man knew I felt him and knew I acknowledged him fully, so he wouldnt need to use energy like that to get my full attention. I feel something so heavy now lingering by that door. I told him I dont mess with that, whatever is in here with that man means you harm. I grab my shoes and go into his room to get my purse and then he goes to eat his gummies since I'm leaving. He cant find the 3rd pack and eventually makes me dump my purse out on the floor because he thinks I'd steal it (I don't do drugs but okay) I didnt have it so I started to help him look. He found it deep inside his dresser drawer. I automatically left after that because whatever bad spirit/demon this was wanted me to stay longer than I had to. Imo- something was most definitely trying to delay me from leaving and wanted my attention, which tbh if it's not a good spirit, it's not getting my attention. I felt the mans spirit come near the railing to the steps as I'm walking down while Sasuke was trying to get me to stay, he felt more authoritative like and wanted me to leave. I never really got the chance to thank that kind business man spirit but you are the MVP of the universe let's you see this stuff. Probably working to be angel. I don't forget that night because it's important to note that spirits can be stuck around with a demons/bad spirits and that doesnt mean they hold ill intent for you either!! Whatever sort of darker spirit that is, is attached to hallway or the man doesnt let him venture beyond it. It didn't follow me so I assume it's also stuck to the space!

My ending theory is:

His house has two spirits stuck, a good boy and a bad boy

Hes naturally scared to be alone in the house. He could just not be use to energy like that so take that with a grain of salt

He was activity speaking about poltergeist activity (when you think about this, disregard the movie) he was looking for things moved around or out of place.

He said there was use of an Ouija board so I can come to the conclusion that he may just have a low level demon and a spirit stuck there. I'm pretty sure if it was anything higher it would have fed off his panicked energy and would have done something bigger than crunching. It could also be a really grumpy old man but idk.

The scratch marks don't happen usually from everyday spirits but I do have a story time about that though!

Anyway. Be safe, sometimes your tinder dates are scared to be in there own homes. Anyway until next time~

Kawaiigirlgoingghost out!

[joonshadow]

"i'm not straight"

being in the closet isnt that much fun

or

namjoon comes out to the other members after hiding for so long.

/namjoon-centric fluff/

namjoon knew he wasn't straight for quite a while now but never told anyone, neither his family or his members. not because he wasn't sure about it, heck no, he knows for a hundred percent.

but coming out to yourself is really hard and coming out to everyone else in your life is even harder sometimes.

the leader always is open and accepting, never judging anyone. he has some not straight friends and loves them so much, couraging them to be open and happy. but being not straight himself is a bit different.

first, he could never be open about his sexuality to the whole world. its just the sad truth that an idol isn't supposed to be gay, they should be "normal" and appealing to their fans, who are mostly female.

which leads to the second reason; the hate.

as the leader of the group its his job to hold the members together and look after them. if he came out as gay, the media would go crazy and not just attack joon, but probably the whole group with hate and drama.

so no, being out and about isn't really an option for him. but for a while now he thought about telling his little "secret" to his members, his best friends who are like a second family for the boy.

-

turns out that trying to come out is nerve wracking as fuck.

all seven boys are cuddled up on the couch, watching a movie yoongi choose called "love simon" and eating popcorn.

namjoon is squished inbetween jungkook and hoseok, the youngest laying his head down on joons lap while his head is on hoseoks shoulders.

namjoons hands are sweaty, his heart is bumping hard in his chest and his throat is dry as hell. the blonde boy kept thinking over and over how he should say it but everytime he wants to say it out loud, he gets too scared.

its weird because he knows he will receive nothing but love and support from his friends, so he doesnt know why its so scary to actually tell them.

probably because his whole life, it was his little secret just for himself that no one else knew. so telling it someone else who obviously isnt him, is scaring the hell out of him.

and the time passes, the movie almost over and jungkook asleep on his thighs.

the first one to speak up wasnt namjoon, it was taehyung.

"i love this movie, its awesome. the two boys are so cute together!", the blue haired boy said with a sleepy voice and smiled at the other members, everyone agreeing with him instantly.

which makes joon incredibly happy. he doesn't know if its just something he feels or if its common among lgbt people, but everytime someone whos important to him says something accepting or nice about the community, his heart secretly bursts full of happiness in his chest.

"its late, we should sleep.", hoseok mumbled while carefully standing up, trying not to wake the youngest member up.

"youre right, hyung. do we have any schedules tomorrow?", asked jimin, who also was almost asleep next to jungkook.

seokjin told them all that they dont have anything planned for the next week since promotions are over and their tour starts in three weeks. everyone smiled because that means they would all be able to sleep as long as they want tomorrow.

namjoon brought some blankets from his room for jungkook who will sleep on the couch today because everyone is too tired and lazy to wake the youngest up and bring him to bed.

he carefully put them over him and tucked the sleeping boy in, kissing his head before turning off the tv and going out of the living room as quiet as possible.

seokjin and hoseok already dissapeared in their rooms, tired from practising their newest choreo all day long, while jimin and taehyung were in the bathroom and getting ready for bed.

namjoon did the same, telling the younger ones to sleep well and not to stay up too late before going to his room as well.

yoongi was his roommate, the two rappers sharing their room for quiet a while now.

the older boy was already in his bed when namjoon came in and crawled into his bed after changing into his pyjamas.

namjoon thought he was already asleep so he tried his best to be quiet and not make any noise to disturb the other. he almost fell asleep too before he heard some footsteps coming near his bed, his big blanket being held up and yoongi going under them.

it wasnt surprising since the two of them cuddle almost every night. but namjoon still got surprised as yoongi began to talk in a soft, calm voice.

"whats wrong, joon? i know somethings on your mind. you can talk to me, you know?"

is he that obvious? okay maybe he is a little bit tense lately, trying so hard to act normal but at the same time trying to find a good moment to tell his members about his sexuality.

after the movie was over today, he was kinda pissed at himself because he wasted such a good opportunity to tell them.

"i dont know what you mean, hyung. im just like always?"

yoongi sighed but besides that he just stayed silent. he softly caressed joons hair and waited for the younger boy to speak up when he is comfortable with doing so.

namjoons heart started to pound faster and he felt his hands getting sweaty again. maybe this was better than telling it everyone at once.

so he took a deep breath, tried to get his shit together and with a voice that yoongi almost wasnt able to hear, he finally said it out loud.

"im gay."

namjoon couldnt see yoongis reaction, wasnt able to read his face because it was pitch dark in their room and his back was turned towards the older one.

he started to breath faster, anxiety rising up in him because yoongi didnt say anything and for a second namjoon thought that he will hate him now.

but all his fears went away as yoongi wrapped his arms around namjoons waist and pulled him a little bit closer, giving him a soft kiss on his shoulder and smiled against his neck.

"hyung?"

"what?"

"arent you gonna say anything?"

"what should i say, joon? its no big deal,

i still love you. youre still the same person as before, you know?"

namjoon fell asleep a few minutes later with the biggest smile on his face.

-

"so for how long have you known?"

yoongi decided the morning after that just the two of them should sit together and talk a little bit. namjoon was more than okay with that which resulted in them sitting on yoongis bed, both with a cup of tea and surrounded by soft blankets and pillows.

namjoon told him everything, about how he found out and if he ever had a boyfriend, to which he sadly answered with a no.

"i dont know if anyone would every truly love me for who i am, you know what i mean?", namjoon said and looked down at his cup.

yoongi looked at the other boy and smiled softly, hitting his shoulder playfully.

"i bet youll find the perfect boy soon, joonie. dont worry too much about it."

-

this same afternoon namjoon decided that he should tell the other members too. it was unfair to just tell it yoongi and keep this big secret from everyone else.

its kinda hard to plan this kind of stuff since he is the type of person to back out on the last second. but after feeling so relieved from telling yoongi about his sexuality, he figured it wont be that bad to tell the others as well.

he went to seokjins and hoseoks room, knocking on the door twice and letting himself in after hearing a tired "yes?" from the inside.

there they were, sitting on their comfortable beds while probably scrolling through social media and stalking fan accounts. neither of them looked up, too concentrated on their phones and whats going on on the internet.

"hyung?"

both of them looked up after they heard namjoons quiet voice filled with anxiety, instantly putting away their phones and just focusing on him which, to be honest, didnt make this any easier.

"whats wrong, joon?", hoseok asks curious while standing up, taking his hand and pulling him over to seokjins bed.

hoseok sat right next to jin, which meant that namjoon is right in front of the two older boys.

nervously he was fiddling with his hands, taking a deep breath and thinking about what yoongi told him.

its no big deal,

youre still the same person as before

"i have something to say that i feel like you two should know, okay? its nothing big, at least thats what yoongi hyung says, but i just wanted you guys to kno-"

"are you gay or what?", hoseok said while letting out a small giggle, stopping the moment he saw namjoons surprised face.

"wait, youre really gay. holy shit, im sorry namjoon, i didnt mean to-"

"oh shut up hoseok, dont make this even more embarassing for yourself.", seokjin insisted and then just focused on namjoon, who was just hella surprised and a little bit shocked to be honest.

"yeah, im actually gay. thanks for ruining my big surprise", namjoon joked and smiled at hoseok, who still feels kinda bad and tightly holds joons hands in his.

the two older boys gave namjoon a big hug, telling him that theyll love and support him no matter what and reminded namjoon that theyre always here if he needs someone to talk to.

everything they said means a lot to joon and he is so happy to hear it, especially from the oldest member in the group. the two were always really close with each other so to know that seokjin still loves him just the way he is, means a lot.

-

"hyung?"

namjoon looked up from the pot with boiling hot water in it, making pasta for everyone or at least trying to. taehyung came into the kitchen and just silently started to cut the vegetables that joon already put out for cooking.

"whats up, tae?", joon asked while taking out spices from the cabin, tasting the sauce for the noodles before adding some more salt and pepper. hes not the best cook but still able to make simple pasta with tomato sauce without making everyone sick or burning down the kitchen.

taehyung put away the knife for cutting the veggies, puts his hands on joons shoulders and turns him around so that the two boys are facing each other.

"uh, taehyung? what are you doing?"

the younger one just hugged joon tight and buried his face in the taller ones neck, pulling him close. to say that namjoon was a little bit confused was an understatement.

taehyung began to speak quietly with a shy, almost embarassed voice against joons soft skin.

"i heard you, hobi hyung and jin hyung talk in their rooms. i shouldnt have listened, but i was so curious about what you guys were talking about. im so sorry, hyung."

he was a little bit confused but understood after a second whats going on.

"so you know?"

the blue haired boy nodded quickly and promised namjoon that he doesnt mind it at all and that hes still the best leader of the whole world to which namjoon just responded with a soft "thank you", a big smile and an even bigger hug.

-

the day is almost over, no one really did anything besides sleeping and eating all day long. days like these are much needed after stressful promotions and exhausting award shows.

the boys ate joons pasta for dinner, complimenting him on his "amazing" cooking skills and after that they all just dissapear in their rooms or somewhere else in the house.

it was already dark outside as namjoon sat down on their big couch, pulling his phone out and scrolling trough social media.

most of the fans dont know but all of the members love to look at all the different fan accounts and see what they say about their group. its fun.

around five minutes later he got a message from jimin.

jimin: hyung

jimin: do you want to watch a movie

jimin: just jungkook, yoongi and me

namjoon: sure

after hitting send, he made his way to jimins room, already hearing their voices and the tv playing in the background. he just went in there without knocking and got greeted by the sight of jimin making little ponytails with yoongis grey hair and jungkook eating leftover pasta from dinner.

"wow, looks like you guys are having a lot of fun without me", namjoon said laughing and just laid down on the bed next to jungkook.

"its boring just with yoongi hyung, most of the time he falls asleep during the movie and thats-"

"oh shut up, its not my fault that the movies you guys choose are always so boring."

both of them laughed after yoongi jokingly hit jimins arm, which hurt not even a little bit since he isnt really the strongest.

"what movie are we even watching today?"

"probably a bad love movie which jimin found on netflix after feeling lonely and sad again"

the next second jimin just deadass jumped on jungkook and both of them tried to push the other one down on the bed. jimin gave up a bit after since its unfair because jungkook is "way stronger and hes tickling him which is fucking unfair".

namjoon just laughs and sits a little bit closer to yoongi, the older one putting his arm around joons shoulders and pulling him even closer.

"guys, come on now. if you dont want me to fall asleep during the movie, we should start now and not just in a few hours when you two decided to calm down.", yoongi murmured kinda annoyed, he would probably rather be in his bed now.

after a few minutes the movie was playing on the big tv screen and all four of them cuddled up on jungkooks big bed.

namjoon couldnt hold back a small giggle after seeing that jimin chose 'titanic' and hearing yoongi and jungkooks annoyed sigh.

to be honest, it was actually really nice. a few minutes after the movie started, taehyung decided to join them too and just snuggled between jungkook and jimin.

yoongi couldnt hold back and after a while he was softly snoring on namjoons lap with messy hair and parted lips.

the younger one of the two just caresses the older ones hair, loving the way it feels between his fingers.

"did hyung fall asleep again?", jimin asked with not even a little bit of surprise in his voice.

namjoon just nodded without saying anything, he didnt want to wake up yoongi and taehyung, whos also sleeping in jungkooks arms.

maybe now is the right time to tell them too since they are the last ones who dont know about joons little secret yet. jimin is still looking at namjoon with sleepy eyes, smiling a bit.

"jimin, jungkook, i have to tell you guys something", namjoon whispered as quiet as possible, hoping the younger boys would understand him anyways since he would rather not say it twice.

"what is it?", asks jimin, now wide awake and looking at namjoon full of curiosity.

from jungkook he just heard a tired "hm?".

"im gay", he whispers softly.

he honestly expected to be more calm now considering he came out to so many people in such a short time. but hes still nervous, his heart beating fast and waiting for a reaction he already knows will be the same as all the others before.

"not surprising, hyung"

wait, what? namjoon was confused.

"what do you mean, jungkook?"

jimin just giggles and shrugs his shoulders. jungkook told him that it isnt really that big of a surprise since hes not that stupid and knows his hyungs well. namjoon wanted him to be a little bit more clear, so he explained why he always kinda knew that joonie isnt that hetero.

"you never had a girlfriend and neither do you really talk about girls the way, for example jimin, does. and since there were never any signs that youre straight, i just assumed you arent."

namjoon just laughs and sarcastically congrats jungkook on his smart brain and his skill on finding out peoples sexuality. jimin joins in too and after a bit they all just cant stop laughing.

both, taehyung and yoongi woke up from the noise, confused and tired.

"whats going on?", yoongi said so quiet that namjoon and the others almost didnt notice.

"namjoon hyung likes boys!"

after that, the three boys just started to laugh even harder, not even knowing whats so funny about the whole situation.

but theres one thing namjoon knows for sure.

and that is that hes genuinely happy right now, feeling so good after knowing that he doesnt have to hide anymore and that hes so so loved.

--------

you can find my other stories on wattpad @ smolouis

please leave feedback!!

[strangeryousee]

Not really one to post a lot of personal stuff here but my blog is dead so this seemed pretty close to throwing my grief into the void and pretending someone is listening.... rather than continuing to hold it in. You know how it goes, you start feeling like youre annoying your friends so you keep to yourself for a while, then some shit happens and you have no one to turn to, you dont want to give your friends your emotional turmoil.... and then it snowballs and grows. And youre facing it alone. And then you get stuck in your own head, and youre fighting to stay afloat in there but maintaining that everything is a-ok and putting on a brave face for everyone around you because youve decided you arent going to burden them with your bullshit...... And then it starts to feel like youre invisible. The Catalyst: The only man Ive ever really loved (And I did love him, Ive avoided admitting that for a long time, but I did), the only man I have ever let touch me.... I realized earlier this week that I just.... dont feel anything for him anymore. And thats for the best. I know it is. He never did love me back, it was a totally one sided, drawn out affair. I cant even in good conscience call it a relationship. It was a dysfunctional, lustful friendship and convenient hook-up at best. But after over TWO YEARS of that dysfunctional friendship its still pretty daunting to wake up one day and realize youve just.... become numb to something.... SomeONE that used to mean SO MUCH to you. Even though I knew it was bound to happen, I knew I couldnt be smitten forever and that one day he would finally push me too far and the rose colored glasses would fall off for good... its still.... fucking depressing, is what it is. He and I went from texting DAILY and hanging out once every week or two...  to hardly speaking. Which we had done once or twice before for a month or two but always because of a fight. Not this time, no, this time we both just... sort of.... stopped contacting each other for no reason. Even though Im more or less ok with us not communicating (especially) while I work through this it still leaves a large emotional gap in my life. Even if it was meaningless and habitual, It was still someone.... contacting me EVERY DAY to ask how Im doing. And even though I dont particularly want to speak to him right now it still hurts to think that hes just as ambivalent to the sudden change as I am. I so badly wanted to mean as much to him as he did to me. I wanted that for SO long, and it never happened. I feel like Im on a hair trigger because of all of this. Everything is wildly more upsetting and personal than it should be. And I cant convince my mouth to open and to just TELL anyone whats wrong because I know my friends are suffering from the same compassion fatigue as I am. I was messing with this guy for two years, they are beyond done hearing about it all. Then there was a new friend in my life that may have possibly contributed to my change in heart. He possessed a lot of the qualities the lover lacked and he was sort of sweet on me, flirtatious, generous. I was flattered, hes a really attractive guy. But as soon as things even HINTED at a “more than friends” level and I realized I might honestly "have a crush” on this friend I completely froze him out. Not intentionally. I just- I seized up, I got scared. Insecure. I can barely choke out a hello or look him in the eyes now. Even though this guy and I were friends he seems to have responded to my abrupt cold shouldering with an equally cold shoulder... and moved on to other pursuits more receptive to his attention. And I cant blame him, were still friends, even if I dont know how to act around him right now, I know were still friends, I just also know hes too conventionally attractive and young to waste too much time on a fish thats not biting (especially since we BOTH tend to be the “I dont speak unless spoken to” type) Watching this new friend change gears so quickly and easily sent me on a downward spiral with my own self esteem though. So Ive.... hurt my own damn feelings, basically, and Im not emotionally equipped to handle it at the moment. Or equipped to handle anything. I left work an hour early because I burst into tears and couldnt stop and I am NOT the kind of person who lets anyone see me cry. I have a mountain of projects on my art desk I havent touched, have no desire to touch. I cant sleep. No appetite. My roommate is basically holding my hand at this point to make sure I do adult things on time and correctly like pay my bills and make a doctors appointment. I keep yo-yoing between emotionally oversaturated and feeling empty. Im just an.... eggshell. Hollow and fragile. I dont think anyone in their right mind will read this pity party all the way to its end but if you do, god bless you, thanks for listening, Im sorry, I dont even have the energy to make this anecdotal or fun to read. Thank you for coming to my fear-of-intimacy Ted Talk. Have a good night.

[dent-de-leon]

lance for the character ask meme 👀

asjsdkdfkg sure thing bro,, some Sharpshooter stuff, here we go:

Why I like them: Love his sense of adventure. Like, in episode one where he mentioned that to Hunk–in reference to why they’d join a space program–that just made me stupidly happy. Because going up to space does sound super exciting and fun and it’s always been a dream of mine and I think it’s kind of nice that Lance wants to fly and see the stars just for the love of it. Also, I’ve said this before, but despite being described as “lucky,” Lance is a character who makes his own luck–follow Pidge, reach out to Blue, follow the mermaid, take that impossible shot–he sets off some exciting chains of events simply because he’s someone who goes looking for excitement. It’s nice change of pace to have a character without a tragic backstory who genuinely speaking has an optimistic and enthused outlook in regard to the universe. 

I’m also very partial to his growth as a character–for instance, learning that Black wasn’t meat for him, his parallels with Alfor, how his bayard evolves into a sniper to show he’s starting to really step back now and reevaluate a situation before he acts–I just think he’s made lots of strides and I’m proud of him for it. 

Why I don’t: He became so popular–greatly in part do to his role as the everyman character–that so much fandom content surrounds and caters to this notion of fanon Lance that’s been built up. It often feels like Lance’s canon development and core character is lost in interpretation (including but not limited to fans stripping Shiro of qualities to pass on to Lance). Keith and the Black Lion are also often passed off to Lance as prizes that he supposedly “deserves” and destroying their autonomy in the face of having them serve Lance’s character at his behest is both disconcertingly unsettling and widely prevalent within the fandom. Again, it’s Lance’s character that takes precedence in both these situations, with neither Keith nor Black Lion’s wants and needs ever factoring into the equation. Anyway, yeah, I have way more issues with fanon Lance. 

As for more my problems with canon Lance, it’s hard to forgive and forget some of his treatment of Keith. The one sided rivalry was entirely his invention, and even while Keith was deeply grieving Shiro, Lance had the audacity to accuse of him selfishly just using Shiro’s loss to have his shot at being leader–which is, ironically, exactly what Lance tried to do. He also only wanted to be Black Paladin for the sake of his own ego. I’m glad that Lance has both worked towards moving past the hostility he built up towards Keith, as well as matured considerably–he was only able to pilot Red because he realized he had to set aside his own ambitions for the team. It’s nice to see season Lance is in a different place now than he was at the start, and hopefully his development will continue in that direction. 

Favorite episode (scene if movie): Either The Red Paladin or A New Defender. Both show Lance stepping up and really coming into his own within his new role, as well as showcase his unwavering support of Allura. Some really excellent character development in both cases, both of which really sure just how far he’s progressed from day 1. Also. That heavy allurance hinting?? That’s some Good Stuff,, 

Favorite season/movie: Season 3 had some prime Lance content, with him learning to put the team first and try to navigate the Lion switch in a way where he both learned to respect Keith as well as grew very supportive of Allura, immediately welcoming her to the team. He grew a lot then, I think. Those parallels between Lance and Alfor were also super interesting and I’m all here for them. 

Favorite line: I have two now!! “Let’s go down swinging,” which is what he says in the final fight with Zarkon at the end of season 2. I love how he just expected to lose and accepted it, but still wanted to go down fighting and was proud to do so. Also, there’s, “You are the Heart of Voltron,” and more recently, “I could feel you in my heart.” Just…the fact that he cares for Allura so much and believes in her no matter what is really?? So, so sweet?? I love them??

Favorite outfit: I like his Altean pajamas!! :D They just seem to suit him really well. Also, the lion slippers?? They’re so cute!! I’m glad Lance at least wears them a lot. No slippers that cute should go to waste lmao

OTP: ALLURANCE!! I feel like that’s no secret by now lmao. Their development has progressed so far from day one, and now you literally have them being so in sync Allura is able to unlock new powers she’s always had the potential for because Lance was there encouraging her. Just like how Allura was the one who passed on Red and Alfor’s legacy to him. They’ve helped each other navigate the frighteningly unfamiliar territory of their new roles, building one another up. Lance loves Allura so much, he’ll literally go on and on for it (that fucking vlog), and Allura is quieter about it, but you can see she seems to reciprocate. It’s little things like her soft smile when Lance tells her there’s no one else he’d rather leave Blue with, or how sincerely she thanks Lance in A New Defender. They’re both so precious together and they deserve each other.

Brotp: Either Hunk and Lance or Lance and Pidge!! :’DD I love how Hunk and Lance are just best friends that were lucky enough to end up stranded in space together, I love how they’re comfortable teasing each other and poking fun. I love how they were probably roommates at the garrison. I love how Lance knows Hunk’s a total genius and is genuinely supportive of him. I love how Hunk has raced to Lance before when he was scared. I love how they’ve known each other well enough to see how much they’ve each changed from the start. I love how they’ll just hang out together like maybe nothing’s changed at all. 

I’m also so here for Lance and Pidge, for Lance actually trying to reach out and be friends with her on day one–then making it his mission to be more inclusive of her when she pushes everyone away. I love how Lance is super interested in all her science stuff even though he’s not really familiar with any of it. I love how they’ll get into ridiculous antics like stealing money from a fountain to buy video games and also leaving with a cow. I love how snarky they to each other are but will also secretly gossip about everyone else at the table. I love how Lance still tries to be inclusive of Pidge–little things, like showing her pictures of their new allies at the start of season 3.

Head Canon: Lance and Hunk were roommates at the garrison!! You’ll have to pry that one from my cold dead hands lmao I like to think they played video games lots, stayed up late making snacks or running movie marathons, snuck out into town to go on “adventures” at Lance’s insistence, ect.

Unpopular opinion: I’m a bi guy, and I’m like…really turned off by everyone in the fandom acting like bi Lance is canon. In fact, I think Lance would make for bad bi representation that perpetuated harmful stereotypes. I also don’t like k/l or Black Paladin Lance, so uh…I’m not a fun of a lot of fanon Lance I guess I should say, since that pretty much sums up all my (very) unpopular opinions. 

A wish: Lance and Allura end up together, and although Lance frequently visits Earth after the war, he’s very much involved in helping various planets rebuild and gets to continue exploring far off corners of the universe.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Black Paladin Lance, bi Lance, canon k/l

5 words to best describe them: Ambitious, bravado, potential, insecure, self-improvement 

My nickname for them: I’m actually willing to throw Lance a bone here and give him his preference of Sharpshooter lmao 

[the-fiction-witch]

Pants

REAL LIFE: ‘Roomie’ plot line COUPLE: TBS X READER RATING: SMUT

Y/N POV:

I sat in bed surrounded by crisps packets and candy bars and half eaten sandwiches in the dark as thomas stands at my door

“do you need to pee?” he asks

“why?” i ask a bit confused

“because I need a shower, and I am sick of every time I am half way though a shower you burst in needing the toilet” he sighs

“some people say hi to there roommates you know” I sigh

“fine hi, do you need to pee?” he asks

“No, are you naked?” I ask looking around the door

“yeah? I sleep naked now, and I’m going for a shower why bother putting pants on?” he shrugs

“Put pants on thomas, one of these days  your gonna walk into a table or something naked and I will have to drive you to the hospital” I laugh

“whatever, are you going to need the bathroom during my shower cause I’m sick of you coming in” he sighed

 “maybe dont take so long” I suggest 

“well I have to be clean so if you need to go, go now” he tells me

“What does it matter If  see your dick in the shower it’s nothing I haven’t seen before thomas” I laugh

“because I’m in the shower and it’s not okay while I’m in the shower to just come in and go to the bathroom”he sighs

“your just mad I always interrupt when your trying to jerk off” I laugh

“yeah so, the showers a good place, no mess, it’s warm, and I’m already naked anyway” he shrugs

“I dont need to go thomas just shower, If I have to pee I will go next door” I sigh

“fine” he sighs leaving my door

“Put on Pants!” I tell him

“you love it admit it” he laughs at me

“No I do not enjoy watching you walk around naked” I sigh

“yes you do, you love how sexy I am” he smirks so I almost go to sleep again till my phone went off

“Hello?” I ask still half asleep

“Oh hello darling, you haven’t forgotten have you?” My mother asked

“Uhhh no…” I begin

“Good, now we are just leaving the house, so do you want anything at the shop?” she asks

“Uhhh some milk might be nice mum and some cupcakes or something” I shrug

“oh course darling, we will be there in a hour” she said so I quickly hung up and got up quickly hiding all the mess in the flat trying to make the place presentable and sighing as I lean on the sofa for a second to breath when the knock came from the door so I quickly open it letting my mum and dad in they both hug me very happy to see me sitting on the chairs as I make them a cup of tea each and bring it in and stand leaning on the sofa sipping my tea “so darling how’s work?” she asked

“fine at the moment, everything’s going well” I smile 

“I will say darling this block is very dirty and well Ill mannered” she sighed

“welcome to London mum, this is the we have no money side” I sigh

“how are you for money?” she asks

“fine, everything’s much easier with a room mate” I smile

“Ohh yes, where is she?” she asked

“she?” I ask

“well we assumed to young ladies would be sharing a flat” she smiled

“Ohh Uhhh…I Uh…its a he” I blush

“A he? ohh darling a new boyfriend” she smiles

“He is NOT my boyfriend!” I say sternly “he is my room mate thats all” I sigh just as  heard the bathroom door Oh shit I forgot about him

“Hey y/n” he smiles hugging me tightly from behind “I have a surprise for you” he smirks rubbing his hard against my back even if he only had a towel on “I already finished in the shower but he still wants to play, thought maybe you would wanna play around with him” he smirks kissing my neck a little so I just hold his face turning his head to look at my mum and dad “Uhh Ohhh, sorry” He says in panic

“soo you are dating your room mate” my dad laughs

“not exactly” i blush

“well in my day you where either dating or not and not certainty wouldn’t be acting like that” my dad sighs

“we are uh…..uhhh…what are we?” thomas asked me

“I dont know” I sigh “all I know is he is not my boyfriend” I sigh 

“roomies with benefits..I think, maybe” thomas shrugs 

“so my daughters a harlet” my dad sighs

“Hey!” I complain “this is a most… a relationship of convince, we live together, we share a bathroom, it was gonna happen someone was going to see the other naked, we just kinda go used to it” I shrug “we are both single and horny, were not hurting anybody” I sigh ��it’s better then me sleeping around dad, at least I know where he’s been” I sigh

“yeah know where” thomas sighed

“fine, so if you get knocked up I know who’s dick Im cutting off” my dad smirks

“Epp, I see where you get it from” thomas says very scared

“now darling, about our holiday” my mother begins

“Oh right, I’m not sure  can go” I tell her

“why? cant get it off work? we have had this booked for months darling” my mother sighs

“well It’s more, i dont want to leave him in the flat alone for two weeks” I sigh 

“I have to watched very closely, I suck at life in general” thomas laughs

“why not bring him with you dear? you all have a plus one for the trip” she suggests

“I will think about it” I sigh after a little more chat my parents left so I sighed shutting the door again

“that went well” thomas sighs

“yeah really well” I sigh “thanks to you both my parents will tell the family and the whole family will think I‘m fucking my room mate” I sigh

“but you are?” he shrugs

“yes but  didnt want them knowing that” I sigh “and can you PLEASE put some pants on thomas” I sigh

“why? it’s nothing you haven’t seen before” he shrugs “I’m ordering us take away” he sighs going to the kitchen

“do we ever cook?” I laugh

“nope”