#jaemin nct dream

[bgarchivee]

jaemin (nct/nct dream)

[jenoddity]

[nanazluvs]

forget about fan calls they should sell headlocks from him

[kpopsexstories]

Hey! Can you do a Jaemin x bottom male reader smut where M/R has a muscle kink? If so, that'd be amazing. Thanks! <3

QUICK FIX GAY #3: NCT Jaemin X Male Reader Muscle Kink

This is a 100% gay story. Check out this post for my straight smut and this post for more gay smut.

Pairing: Top NCT Jaemin x Bottom Male Reader

Content: Muscle appreciation, Lotus/Face-off position

Type of Sex: WILD

Word Count: 1,345

“Can I touch?” you asked and leaned in close.

Jaemin's face lit up like a Christmas tree. “Sure,” he said and spread his broad thighs wide, stretching his tiny shorts over his boner.

“Oh, no,” you said and laughed. “I meant your muscles.”

You gently placed a hand on Jaemin's bare shoulder. “Oh,” he said and quickly closed his legs. He looked embarrassed. “Yeah, go ahead.”

You traced your fingers over his smooth skin. You felt his strong arms and gave his biceps a squeeze. Jaemin sat still and shirtless with his eyes closed, and enjoyed the sensation of your soft touch.

Your eyes and mind were fully focused on his gorgeous, muscular body. You moved your hand down his arm and up again, then to his flexing chest and down to his abs. He was leaning against bed frame and when your fingers tickled his torso he tensed his muscles, making his front toned and hard.

“Ah, fuck,” you moaned and adjusted your position. Simultaneously, the bulge in Jaemin's tight shorts grew.

Your fingers reached his defined v-line and pinched the seams of the shorts. Jaemin – aroused by your sensual touch – adjusted his position too, causing the boner to brush against your arm.

“Ughn,” he whispered and opened his mouth, the pressure on the tip of his dick sending wonderful and erotic sensations through his body.

Your hand slid slowly over the shorts and down to his broad thigh. He spread his legs wider and his knee rested in your lap. You squeezed the thigh with the full size of your palm, your fingers barely even covering half of his thick leg. You pushed harder on his skin as the wonderful, erotic tingle spread through your own body too.

“Please,” Jaemin moaned still with his eyes closed. “Don't tease.”

You smiled wide to yourself. “Okay,” you said softly, and moved your hand quickly to his solid bulge. You squeezed the outline of the hard boner and he raised his ass high from the bed, pushing his dick into your hand with lust and passion.

“Mm, please,” he whimpered and flexed his sexy muscles.

You better give the man what he wanted.

*****

“Ugh, uhhh, huuh,” Jaemin moaned and panted each time he pushed his dick back inside your ass. He hadn't moved an inch form his spot, still sitting on the bed leaning against the bed frame. But by now he was butt naked – as were you – and you were in his lap intimately riding his cock.

Your hands and eyes were still fully focused on his muscular body. Each time the man thrust slowly but passionately into your body, stretching your hole wide and filling it with his solid dick, his chest and abs tensed. You squeezed various parts of his body to feel their intricate details and the powerful flexing.

His chest was big and could hardly fit into your hand. His shoulder was broad with long and distinct veins. Even there you could tell that he worked out a lot.

His biceps altered between being big and soft, and firm and toned, each time he pulled on your hips and ass to make you roll faster over his pulsing boner.

When he thrust into you by raising his ass slightly, his thighs below your cheeks became hard as rock. His strong legs could lift you with ease, and the movement made you feel amazing things.

Your dick was resting on Jaemin's abs, gliding up and down the waves of his stomach with each slow but firm jolt. Pre-cum seeped out of the head, which was then smeared across his abs by the gliding motions of your shaft.

Jaemin's skin became wet and slippery. Your dick was hard and became lubricated. It felt incredibly erotic the way you rode him.

Jaemin's orgasm was fast approaching. He put an arm around your back and pulled himself toward you, while spreading his legs wider below you. He used his hands to rock his ass back and forth on the mattress, and the bed began to bump against the wall.

You raised your ass slightly and locked your body by tensing your muscles. With one hand on Jaemin's shoulder and the other pressing against his big, hard chest, you sat on your knees and let the man jam himself into you at an ever increasing pace.

Jaemin's skin began to glisten. His whole front became sticky and moist – not just by pre-cum – as he perspired, and the sheets and pillow behind his back became soaked.

“Huuuuh, uuhhg, ahhhh,” he repeated louder an louder.

“Mm, holy shit,” you exclaimed in a low voice. The way his cock stretched and filled your hole was intense and wonderful.

Your hand soon slipped down the chest and abs one last time, where you found your own dick and wrapped your fingers around the shaft. You began to stroke and pleasure your pulsing boner, while Jaemin's throbbed inside you.

His firm grip around your back and hip tightened. You could feel his imminent eruption. His muscles stopped going soft between thrusts. His entire, sweaty body remained hard, and his face tensed as he grimaced and clutched his teeth.

“Ahh, fuuuck,” he ground loudly when he was so close to the edge even his strong muscles struggled to stay in control. ”Mm, fuck, you're so hot!”

You held your breath to feel every detail of his hard and slippery dick inside you. He rubbed you fast, hitting just the right spot, until he came and his entire body jolted.

He practically threw himself at you. You caught him in your arms and wrapped them around his neck and shoulders. He buried his face in your chest while you squeezed him around the sides with your knees and thighs.

“Ahh, fuck!” he repeated. He began to breathe heavily, heaving for air against your skin. His sweaty forehead slid up and down on your chest while his thrusting hips caused your body to shake and bounce on his dick.

Throughout it all your kept your hand firmly fixed around your shaft. You flapped your hand furiously, panting into Jaemin's hair while jerking off between your moist bodies.

The head became red as your fingers prevented blood from reaching it. The sea of pre-cum in which it had bathed caused a wonderful sensation. Soon, pre-cum was not all that came out of your rock hard boner.

Your face crumpled. You grimaced and held your breath. Then, when you released, your breath became deep and heavy in an instant.

“Ahhhh, Ahhhh, Yeees, fuck my ass!” you pretty much screamed when you orgasmed.

You shot your load onto Jaemin's flexing abs, soaking his front in white liquid. He abruptly raised his head and stared up at you, to protect his face from the ejaculation.

When you were done and your body sank onto his lap, the back of your hand slid through the sea against his abs, gliding all over his sperm-drenched and wash-board-like stomach.

“Holy fuck,” Jaemin said. He was still trying to catch his breath.

“Damn,” you moaned and chuckled. “That was incredible!”

You looked down at Jaemin's droopy face. “Yeah,” he said with his mouth half open, his body still heaving and thrusting gently.

When you both calmed down, you returned your focus to his muscles again. He relaxed and leaned back, his big hands and arms resting on your thighs while you gently stroke his chest and sides.

“Fuck you're hot,” he said and looked up and down your front.

“No, you're hot,” you said and giggled, smiling wide back at him.

Even when his muscles were spent and dormant he looked broad and fit. He occasionally tensed up which felt great between your legs, his dick at half attention inside you.

You were so glad he let you touch him like this, and totally happy with his big muscles in any state.

Oh, how hot his chiseled body was, and how erotic and sensual they made you feel. The man was nothing short of perfection.

[polarisjisung]

LOVE ON THE COURT | 32 ART THOU SHAKESPEARE

SYNOPSIS | every college student has their struggles, but raising her younger brother has Y/N top of the list, struggling her way through college whilst balancing her academics and basketball captaincy is difficult no doubt and with Jaemin, her ex best friend and captain of the guys basketball team, and his growing one sided hatred towards her, it doesn't seem to be getting any easier

WARNINGS | sexual innuendos, swearing, mentions of violence

NOTES | update after 1 month... gang I don't even wanna talk about this past month 😭 its been booked bsuy and BRUTAL so I'm so sorry to everyone who sent asks about when the next update would be and I didn't respond, because I genuinely had no idea myself, anyways ily all and thank you for being patient w me 🫶🫶🫶

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[pe-arls]

© jaemin nct dream. minimalist lockscreens

[hyuckssunshine]

Can u do nct dream reaction when u ask them how they know that they love u? I hope that was somewhat understandable 😭😭

Asking nct dream how they know they love you

Note: thank you so much for your request!! It was very understandable, no worries 🫡

[florawrites-blog]

The practice room is dimly lit, the only sound being your ragged breathing as you struggle to keep your balance. You’ve been practicing for hours, pushing yourself past your limits to make up for missed time. The pressure from school, your group, and the expectations of being a perfect leader have left you on the verge of collapse.

Your nose starts bleeding again, and you drop to your knees, trying to stop it with a trembling hand. You feel completely worn out, but you can't stop. Not yet.

Just then, the door opens, and Jaemin rushes in. He’s been worried about you for days, unable to focus on anything else. The sight of you on the floor, looking so fragile, breaks his heart. He immediately kneels down beside you, not saying a word, just pulling you into his arms.

You resist at first, but then you feel his warmth, his concern, and everything you’ve been holding back comes crashing down. You cling to him tightly, finally letting yourself break down. You’re exhausted, scared, and overwhelmed, but in his embrace, you finally allow yourself to feel it all.

“I’m so sorry,” you whisper, tears mixing with the blood from your nose.

Jaemin shushes you softly, holding you even tighter. “You don’t have to be perfect all the time,” he murmurs. “You don’t have to do this alone. Let me be here for you, please.”

You nod against his chest, feeling the weight of your burdens lighten just a little. Maybe you don’t have to be perfect, and maybe you don’t have to push everyone away. Not when Jaemin is here, ready to hold you through it all.

[seorain]

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ू⠀❀ — ⠀ಣ⠀՞ ⠀星 ׄ

[i97chan]

͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏✿ﾠ〜ﾠ(⁠^⁠O⁠^⁠)ﾠ🐌💧⠀๑ﾠ♪🍏ﾠ*

⭐️⭐️⭐️🙆‍♂️❕️

[neobubz]

Hunter (M) - Prey Sequel

this is the sequel to my story prey (m) if you haven’t read that please stop and go read that one first before continuing. for those who have, thanks for taking a look at the sequel! i truly hope you enjoy this wicked little story. this is of course like the other one going to jump back and forth between time frames so please be aware of that. once again, i hope you enjoy and i hope to see you in my future stories 💜

Word Count: approx. 26.7k

Paining: fem reader x jaemin feat. jeno and haechan

Warning(s): time jumping (past and present will be divided by a header don’t worry), mature audiences only, explicit language, crime drama, crime solving, psychological thriller, house fire, very slow burn, storytelling, m*rder, spouts of anger (ch*king), sex, smut, abusive relationship, a long ass story ^^

Disclaimer: though it doesn't need to be said, this is just a story. i do not know any of the parties involved, don't take this sh*t seriously. also, as i am not one familiar with crime/court proceedings/durations of time involving solving a crime/police business some of this information (if this is your job) will be wrong. i tried my best with the dozens of crime dramas i watch XP

Preview:

“Depends on what you tell me here.”

“Do they really think that I would do something as deliberate as to set my home on fire with my child and I barely escaping it unscathed?! What kind of lunacy are they snorting down at your precinct?!”

“I know you would do anything to protect your kid. We all know that but my boss doesn't. So I need you to tell me EVERYTHING. The events leading up to the fire and what happened afterwards. I need to know it all and DO NOT leave anything out.”

Gulping your head slowly turns to Haechan. “Exactly how much of everything do you need to know?”

Holding up his work phone he shows you the voice recording app. Turning your head away he says, “everything.” 

ⓗ ⓤ ⓝ ⓣ ⓔ ⓡ

Staring blankly ahead of you not even bothered by the flashing red and blue lights you watch as men and women bolt towards a fiery beast. This couldn’t be…this wasn’t supposed to happen. And yet it was…

One by one they line up and spray water on this creature trying to tame it — an opening is created and another group rushes inside their silhouettes getting lost in the smoke that pours out of every opening. They were looking for any survivors, or rather one survivor.

Glued tightly in your arms your sons’ whales bring you back to him. Your white button down shirt soaked through from his tears. Wrapping him tighter in your arms you shield him away from the unfortunate event befalling your family. His face buried in your chest he repeats ‘mommy…mommy…mommy…’

If it wasn’t from the shock of everything you  know tears would cascade down your cheeks uncontrollably as are his. Nothing went the way it should have today... There shouldn't have been an accident … this wasn’t supposed to happen… 

The brave souls who tried to tame the beast run away coughing and falling to the ground. Their teammates rush to pull them away before they’re snatched by the beasts’ flames. Inside was far too hot for anyone to withstand for long periods of time. A man giving orders tries to get his team to spray water straight ahead to allow yet another team to enter, but just as a new round of men and women prepare to go inside another massive explosion sends those closest flying back and all others to duck.

Your sons’ cries become louder. Turning away tears finally fall onto the top of your son's head. Your home, the place you’ve lived together with your child for the past seven years, gone. All the memories of his first moments…destroyed. 

“Ma’am… Ma’am!!!” A voice says next to you. “MA’AM!!!!!” They scream startling you. A woman dressed in a paramedics uniform holds her hands out in front of you. “Ma’am, I’m sorry that I startled you but I need to check you and your son for injuries.” She says calmly.

“W-We-We’re fine…” you say but your voice cracks.

“I need to make sure, please,” she gestures to an ambulance that sits a few feet away from where you’re standing.

Looking down at your son, you see a few scratches on his cheek. “O-Okay…��

Leading you away from the firefighters who are desperately trying to get the raging fire under control, you and your son are placed inside the ambulance while two paramedics look both of you over for any type of injury. Your mind drifts away from what the female paramedic is doing, eyes laser focused on the entrance to your home. Your jaw tightens as bile threatens to erupt from within you. You jackass…why did you let this happen?!

“Ma’am,” the female paramedic calls you to attention. “You have a pretty nasty burn on your arm. I don’t think it’s severe but you should still get it looked at.”

Glancing down at your fiery skin you turn to where your son is being fully examined inside of the ambulance. “And my son?” 

“He’s alright ma’am,” the other paramedic smiles happily. “Isn’t that right buddy?” He asks your son who doesn’t speak.

“I’m sorry,” your voice comes out weak and tired. “He’s a little shy around strangers.”

“There’s no need to apologize. What the two of you went through – ” the male paramedic stops speaking, his head lowering to the floor of the ambulance.

“My daddy…Where’s my daddy?”

You freeze at the word daddy. Turning to the paramedics they both give each other unreadable looks.

“Ummm, we’ll go and find out right now. Don’t worry little man,” the male paramedic says before hoping out of the ambulance. “We’ll be right back.” He nods down at you.

Watching them like a hawk they walk over to who you assume is the fire chief. He at first waves them off aggressively. His eyes cold as ice. He appeared to not want to be bothered as he focuses on keeping his team safe. The paramedics, however, don’t leave. Instead the male paramedic steps forward whispering something in the fire chiefs’ ears. Immediately, his head turns to you. The coldness in his eyes vanishes the moment his fall to yours. Instead his eyes show sadness or pity — you can’t quite tell at this distance. Turning back rather rigidly he says something before waving the paramedics off. Moments later both of the paramedics start their trek back to you and your son, but as they get closer there is an eeriness surrounding them.

“The fire chief said he’ll be over to talk to you personally in just a minute. They’re still trying to get everything under control. Also, there were a few firefighters inside when the explosion happened so —” the female paramedic starts. 

“Th-There are people inside?!” You interject. 

“Don’t worry ma’am, he said that they are the best of the best. They’re okay and looking for a safe way out. So it’s best to focus on yourself and your son right now, okay?”

“When will they get out? They need to get out before another explosion happens! Good lord!!!” You start crying uncontrollably. “How in the world did this happen?”

“Mom…my…” your son whispers beside you before clambering in your arms again, “don’t worry… daddy will be okay…” he tries to soothe you but your tears come out faster than before.

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

Standing before you gleaming from ear to ear is the man who has single-handedly fucked up your entire world. His brown hair slicked back, eyes sparkling with promise and unfortunately, admiration – he wears a black suit jacket, white button shirt, black tie and black trousers. You, a white wedding dress…

How did this happen? How could your life get twist turned upside down like this? Just a year ago you were in your own apartment climbing up the corporate ladder and now you’re about to get…

“Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?” The judge asks you.

Lawfully, the small sliver of who you once were snickers at the word. If only the judge before you knew what hell you’ve been through. If she knew what this piece of shit did she would arrest him on the spot and open up a whole investigation! 

Taking in a deep inhale, you close your eyes savoring the last moments of your freedom.

If only she knew… if only you could tell her, to give her a hint that the union she was about to officiate is a fraud, but you can’t…

Gripping your hands tightly the man you’re supposed to be in love with smiles his repulsive cheshire-like smile as he awaits to hear those faithful words ‘I do.’ Exhaling once more you do what’s best for you and your child that is currently kicking up a storm inside of you. Either telling you to marry the ass hat in front of you or trying to knock some sense into you and blurt out what you desperately want to say to everyone around. 

“I do.” You speak but your voice is broken and flat. 

You fall prey to the pressure of what would happen if you did reveal everything. The twisted web of lies this snake may whisper to others — it was too much of a risk. You can’t risk anything, not in your current state. 

“Well, if there are no objections,” the judge pauses for a second.

Objections? Why would there be any objections? This fox waited for the perfect opportunity to have this sham of a wedding. Your parents who are currently in a luxurious cabin in their mountain getaway for the next four days – that was so lovingly paid for by the demon in front of you. This little trip is sadly your own dumbass fault. You foolishly let it slip one night that your parents like to travel and remember why they decided to spend the rest of their lives together – away from you, away from distractions, where they can be with each other and remember all the years filled with memories. And of course, the devil used this information against you…

“No objections here!” Your mom shouts a glass of wine in hand via zoom call.

Glancing to the people around you, a group of men whom you’ve never seen before, your actual witnesses to this horrible union — all eyes are bright and happy for the two of you, all except one. Their eyes pierce through your soul as if they can read every thought, every movement of your body. Quickly, before he notices something he shouldn’t, you avert your eyes and focus instead on the hem of your dress as the judge looks around and gives everyone a chance to speak up.

“Well, if there are no objections, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride!”

As if you were in some twisted romance movie, Jaemin eagerly leans in. His hands cupping your cheeks ever so gently, he places his lips against yours. His lips are glossy and soft while your painted red lips are stiff as a board. Like hell you were going to kiss him! You played your part. You weren’t going to give him anything more than the bare minimum. But that didn’t stop him at all. His one hand, closest to the judge, drops to your waist as he pulls you to him. The room erupts with cheers and applause from his guests and your parents. Tears prickle at your waterline, the last hope of freedom leaving you as your tears fall to the floor. 

“Congratulations!” Your parents shout.

Putting on your mask you smile gleefully at the screen. “Thank you mom and dad,” your lips quiver for a second. “S-Sorry you couldn’t be here.”

“We are too!” Your mom wipes her eyes. “We need to get together the moment we’re back in town.”

“Of course! A celebratory dinner,” Jaemin wraps his arm around your waist. “Plus, I know my beloved wife will want to talk to her mom about the nursery.”

“Ahhh!!! I can’t wait to get back! We’ll go shopping and help you two set everything up, won’t we honey?” She turns to your dad.

“Of course! Cheers my boy! May nothing but blessings fall upon you both.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Your parents end the zoom call by stating they’ll call later but to enjoy the rest of the day and have fun. As your parents say their goodbyes, Jaemin's guests swarm the two of you. 

“Dude! You did it!”

“Didn’t think you’d be the one to marry first but congrats!” 

“How does your mom feel about this one?” Another glances at you. “On second thought, fuck’em, you’re gorgeous!” He swoops down giving you a hug. “Welcome to the family!” 

“Hey! Hands off my wife,” Jaemin jokes.

“Hands off his wife and future baby,” a soft voice catches your attention. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. My name is Jeno.”

“Baby!” Jaemin wraps his arm around Jeno’s shoulders, a huge smile on his face, the same smile that captivated you when you first saw it. “This is my best friend, Jeno! Jeno, this is my beautiful wife! Told you she was gorgeous!”

Nodding and smiling Jeno keeps his lips pressed together tightly before speaking. “You did, you did.”

“Come on! We need to celebrate!” Getting behind you a shorter and rather petite young man smiles sweetly. “I’m Renjun, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Now, I know this is going to seem weird but I need to put this blindfold on you.”

“N-No!!!” You squeak and try to move away but strong arms keep you from going anywhere.

“It’s okay.” Jeno chuckles. “Just a small, very small party we put together to surprise you guys. I promise nothing will happen. See,” he gestures with his chin towards Jaemin who is already blindfolded. “Everything’s fine. I promise.”

As you look into Jeno’s eyes your rapidly beating heart starts to calm down. There’s something about his gaze that makes it seem like it’s okay to believe him. That it’s okay to put your faith and trust in him. Then again, you fell for that trap before too.

“I can put it on myself.” You state bluntly.

“Independent woman, I like her already. Hey toots! The names Haechan! How this guy ended up with a beauty like you is beyond me, but once you’re done with him come and find me!” He winks.

“Really, Haechan? They just got married!” Shoving him aside a rather nervous yet charming man reaches out his hand. “I’m Mark.”

Shaking his hand you then slide the blindfold over your eyes. Hands grip your shoulders as a soft and soothing voice fills your head. 

“The rest of the introductions will have to wait, but if you’ll just keep your hand in mine I’ll safely lead you out to the car.” Jeno whispers. 

“Why exactly do we need the blindfolds again? Isn’t the party at our house?” Jaemin chuckles.

“Who said it was at your house?” Haechan’s voice booms next to you. “Renjun, Mark, get Chatty Cathy out of here. Jeno and I will handle his beloved bride.”

“Princess!!! Don’t worry you’re in safe hands!” Jaemin shouts his voice getting farther away as he continues to speak. “Haechan don’t you dare touch her or this nice judge will have to charge me for murder!”

Giggling behind you the judge speaks up. “Have a wonderful day you two and congratulations!!! But please, no murdering anyone!!!!”

Strong hands intertwine with yours, their hand warm and comforting. “Okay, start walking forward.”

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

Through a crowd of first responders you hear your name. Turning to the voice you see Jeno thrashing his way through trying to get to you and your son.

"Jeno..." you whisper. "JE-JENO!!!!" You scream for him to find where you are.

“Will you move?!" He shouts at a few firefighters. "I know the people of this home! Move!!!" With one final shove he bursts through the barricade they tried to make and sprints to you. Engulfing you in his arms he holds you tightly. “Are you okay? When I saw the news I came right away.” Pulling back just enough to inspect you, he cups your face in his hands. “What the hell happened? Did you get hurt? What did they say?" He checks your face for any injuries.

"Jeno,” you start sniffling. “I don’t… I don’t know what happened. It just…it just…”

Pulling you back to him he holds you in his arms. “Don’t worry, everything's going to be okay now. Is everyone safe?” 

Nodding you step aside so he has a view of his nephew who is still sitting inside of the ambulance. “Little man!"  He shouts, grabbing your sons’ attention. 

“Uncle Jeno,” he starts to cry again. 

“Hey Buddy!” He scoops him up into his arms. Your son’s tears keep pouring down his cheeks just as yours start up again. “There…there…everything's going to be okay."

"Da-Daddy..." he mumbles through his tears. "Daddy was..." he cries more.

Turning slowly to you Jeno’s eyes widen with shock. "Where is Jaemin?"

Covering your mouth you shake your head. "He-He...He…” you can’t bring yourself to utter the words. 

Everything happened so fast. One second the three of you were in the kitchen the next you’re outside with your son taking cover before the house went up in flames. It just doesn’t make any sense…

“Where…is Jaemin?” Jeno asks again.

“He was still inside when the house went up in flames,” you start choking on your tears.

"Mommy got hurt," your son points to your arm. "She saved me!"

Staring down at your arm, Jeno’s grip on your son tightens. "Of course she would," he smiles at him. "She would do anything to make sure you're safe."

"Is that so?" A gruff voice pulls everyone’s attention. "Would you do anything?"

Immediately getting in front of you, Jeno blocks you from this stranger's view. "Who are you?!" He demands.

"I believe I'm the one who should be asking all the questions. I'm the one who will be overseeing this investigation."

"Investigation..." Jeno mumbles. "Wait, this is just a house fire, shouldn't the fire chief be in charge?"

"It would have just been a house fire but now we're investigating a possible homicide."

"HOMICIDE?!" You and Jeno shout.

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

Your hand grazes over the pictures that were taken from your wedding reception. The smiling faces of Jaemin's friends who have strangely become quite important people in your life since that day. Renjun and Haechan bickering after Haechan shoved some of your wedding cake on his face. A slight smile tugs at the corner of your mouth at the hilarious memory. Those two are like Tom and Jerry, constantly doing things to piss the other off but at the end of the day would feel incomplete if the other weren’t around. 

Then, there is Mark, Chenle, and Jisung smiling sweetly for the camera, but the best part of the picture are Chenle's fingers behind Mark and Jisung's heads while he smiles extra bright for the picture. The little sneak thinking that he would get away with giving them bunny ears – he would have too if Jaemin hadn’t sent everyone copies of the pictures. 

When the guys came over for a meal that’s when the arguing began between those three ensued, thank goodness when you brought out the food they forgot what they were fighting about — making the rest of the evening quite pleasant. 

Finally, your hand stops at a picture of yourself, Jaemin and Jeno. This one being your husband's favorite picture… You can hear his voice ringing in your ears when he printed out the picture,

'My two favorite people in the world... We should frame this one, don't you think?'

After the fake wedding and reception and when all his friends left to go back to their homes the mask you were wearing shattered. You didn’t have to pretend anymore to be happy about what was supposed to be the best day of your life. You could let your sorrow show and make sure the man that has single handedly ruined your life know exactly how you felt. Which meant going back to avoiding him every chance you got. There was no talking, no listening, and no doing anything that he requested you to do. The only thing you did was sit on the window seat staring out at the world that is no longer your oyster. This wasn't a marriage, this was a life sentence.

Slamming the album closed you place it back on the bookshelf next to all the other fake memories he's created to fit his twisted fantasy. The only memories that are real are the moments with your son. Everything surrounding the child you fortunately, yet unfortunately share with him are the realist moments between the two of you.

Opening up the album specified for your first pregnancy, you stare at a picture of the two of you from your first doctor's appointment, the memory playing out in front of you as if you were watching a movie. Jaemin couldn’t stop fidgeting despite the fact he knew you were pregnant before the doctor confirmed it. Whether his fidgety behavior was due to the anticipation of you blurting out that you’re being held against your will, or because he was truly excited to hear if your symptoms were in fact true that the two of you would become parents — you still don’t know to this day, but shockingly his behavior must have been normal for first time dad’s because it sure didn’t flag as unusual to the doctor or nurse. 

Turning the page you push down the memory of wanting to shout to the doctor, to the people in the waiting room that you were a victim of the man sitting next to you. Deep down you were desperately screaming for help, for someone to call the cops but from the moment he approached you at the last gate and told you that you were pregnant you lost the will to fight. The only will you have left in you is to make sure that your son has a happy life and knows NOTHING of what befell you. 

Looking down at the next picture you gently giggle at your first ultrasound photo. That day Jaemin said your son looked like a little lima bean. Strangely, it was a sweet moment. His eyes were glued to the monitor as a trickle of sweat dripped down the side of his face. He was always nervous when it came to your checkups. It was as if he was waiting for someone to pull the rug from underneath him. But the moment the nurse found the tiny little bean shaped baby growing inside of you, his shoulders slumped down and his body relaxed. 

He earnestly asked if you guys can have a photo and turned to you smiling brightly. As if this picture would cure all diseases, as if the child inside of you would solve all the world’s problems — he grabbed your hand gently, pulling it up to his lips where he gave your knuckles a kiss.

‘Thank you.’ He whispered. 

‘For what?’ You asked. 

‘Thank you for making me a father. I swear I will do everything in my power to ensure that you and our baby are safe. I promise.’ 

And you knew he meant every word…

After your son’s first ultrasound there are plenty of photos of your growing belly. Jaemin becoming quite thrilled watching the growth of you and your son. At first it was a little weird to you. You didn’t like seeing how big your stomach was getting and the small stretch marks that started to appear, despite rubbing cocoa butter on your stomach every day. But Jaemin being Jaemin reassured you every day…

‘Princess, you’re not fat, okay? You look amazing!’ He says holding up the camera. 

‘I told you I don’t want to take any more pictures.’

‘Don’t you want our son to see these when he’s older? To know that he has the best mother in the world?! To know that she took the best care of herself as well as him?’

‘Yeah, like a picture is going to show all of that,’ you roll your eyes. 

‘Please, just one more?’

‘Fine. Take it.’

In hindsight these pictures are some of the ones you treasure the most. Knowing the best gift you could ever receive in your life was with you – growing with you day by day, both of you getting stronger helped to heal some of the wounds you’ve suffered. 

But nothing will ever top the moment that both Jaemin and yourself saw your son’s face for the first time with the three-dimensional imaging. This was the moment where you knew everything was real! That this was happening! That you were about to be a mom! And Jaemin's words after seeing your son's face for the first time darn near broke you...

'You did it,' he whispers next to you. 'Look at him... he's gorgeous... great job, mom.'

Those words of validation for some strange reason had your heart and mind playing games with you. The Jaemin you first met was in that room with you, looking at the beautiful life you both created, together. His eyes glistening with tears despite his lips trying to hold back the proudest smile the world has ever seen. At that moment, you had the Na Jaemin back...

But those moments didn't last. The moment you left your appointment realization came crashing down. This isn't real. These moments are fabricated to fit one person's psychotic fantasy. Even the child that grows within you was not created out of love, but out of survival. Those weeks where you submitted to him while you painstakingly planned your escape, only for this gift and curse to keep you tethered to him.

"You know it doesn't have to be this way, right?" An all too familiar voice whispers behind you. "We can make this work between us. For the baby at the very least," his arms wrap around your waist pulling you to his chest. 

The numbing sensation you’ve grown accustomed to starts to slither up your body. It starts from your toes to your ankles, sinking deeper and deeper into your flesh. These past couple of months since the wedding you’ve learned a new skill — how to completely shut down any and all feelings. Letting whoever has control do whatever they please. 

"I've asked for your forgiveness so many times. I've been on my hands and knees for you. I've bowed my head on the ground before you. Yet you haven't forgiven me..."

But just like the venomous beast he is, Jaemin finds a crack in this new skill of yours. Bursting through like a bull he shatters everything before facing the one emotion that is always below the surface, rage. 

"Do you really think you deserve forgiveness, Jaemin? What if the roles were reversed? What if I bowed my head to you? If I begged and pleaded for you to forgive me after kidnapping you and gas lighting everyone in your life for my own fucked up fantasy, would you forgive me? Would you forgive me if I had forcefully rode your dick to kingdom come until I ended up pregnant further linking us together? Knowing full well no matter where you go in this world there will always be a part of me attached to you!! Would you still forgive me?!" You shout, your eyes and fists clenching.

Squeezing you tighter in his embrace, his forehead falls to the top of your head. "No.” He whispers. 

Startled, your body freezes up. Did he… wait, he didn’t just say, “no?” You ask.

“No. I wouldn’t be able to forgive you. I’m not going to pretend that I would. I won’t and I can’t lie to you like that. What I did was,” he pauses sighing, once again his arms wrapping tighter around you. “Is, wrong. The past few months since you’ve started to ignore my existence I’ve done a lot of thinking.

“I was scared that you were going to leave me. I was scared that the one source of happiness I found on this earth was going to disappear. Logically, I know if it was meant to be we could have made it work, but I had never fallen so fast and hard for someone in my life. In fact, I’ve tried to avoid falling in love completely.

“I can say that it was because of my parents, I can say that it’s because of crappy exes who didn’t care about me but about the money my family has, but that’s not the complete truth. When I lost my grandmother a piece of me broke that day. She was the only person who saw me. She was the only person to look me in my eyes and see Jaemin, not Na Jaemin, the son of a multimillionaire, the one to take over the company one day.

“She just saw me, her grandson. When you came into my life and we started talking, it was like I was seen,” he sniffles. “Someone was finally looking at me for me.”

“And you’re telling me your friends don’t see you for you?”

“They see me as the kid who’s from a rich family. Plus, it’s not like they aren’t from well off families either.”

“You’ve doubted their loyalty?”

“Never.”

“Then you trust them and accept that they see you for you.”

“Only one person.”

“Jeno?” You inquire.

Nodding he nuzzles his face in the crook of your neck, his arms loosening for his hands to rest on your round belly. “Please…tell me what I can do. Tell me what I can do to start over. To show you the kind of man I truly am…please..."

"Confess."

His body stiffens behind you. His heart pounding against your back. Closing your eyes you wait for any type of reaction from him. Whether it be anger, tears, or worse…

“Confess?” He asks, but his voice sounds distant.

“Yes. Confess all of your crimes towards me.”

Instead of answering you, he wraps his arms around you, pulling you flush against him. His breath hot on your neck, you pray that he won’t do anything drastic. “I…I need help…” He chokes back a few tears. “Please, I need help… don’t make me… I’m sorry…”

“You need more than help, Jaemin. You kidnapped me, locked me in that room, and had me play that fucked up game for lord knows how long! You need to pay for your crimes!”

Jaemin buries his face into the crook of your neck. “Aren’t I paying for them already? You don’t talk to me. You won’t even look at me! You barely let me touch you. The only time you show an ounce of your true self is when we’re at your doctor's appointments. That’s it…”

“And how exactly am I supposed to act? Do you want me to put on a mask and pretend like I’m happy that my life was uprooted? That I barely get to see my family, oh, and the only time I do is when I’m around you? Come on, Jaemin…”

“Fine…” he sniffs and tears himself away from you. “Just… just let me at least be here when the baby is born, okay? After that…” he takes a deep yet shaky inhale. “I’ll confess to everything, okay? I’ll turn myself in.”

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

“There we go, all better!” The nurse says as she finishes bandaging your right forearm. “Now, you’re going to need to avoid getting your arm wet for a while until it heals properly,” she starts.

“How long exactly?” You inquire.

“Well we’ll schedule you for an appointment in about a week at the wound center. There is a hospital across the river that specializes in the treatment of wounds and Dr. Andrews, the one who came in and initially inspected your arm,” you nod. “Well, he’s the head doctor there so he will be checking on your healing progress. He said that you’re very lucky and it’s not a serious burn, but to be safe for the next seven days if you can avoid getting water on your arm it would be for the best.”

“Wh-What about bathing? And my son, I need to give him baths!”

“I wouldn’t mind volunteering,” a snarky voice startles both you and the nurse. “That is if you don’t mind disrobing in front of me.”

Exhaling deeply you let out a loud groan. “What are you doing here, Haechan?”

“Jeno called us,” he steps forward. “Now, now, don’t look so miserable. You’ll break my heart.”

“He called you and you decided to sprint over here? How nice of you.” You spat.

“Look, I was just joking about the bathing thing. My sister can help you with that if you want,” he shoves his hands in his pocket shrugging. “As for the little guy, aren’t you staying with Jeno?”

“Yes…”

“Well, there you go. Plus, the little dude is like what 10? He can handle a bath by himself.”

“He’s six and a half,” you growl. 

“Easy now,” he smirks. “I was just playing.”

The nurse's eyes bounce between you and Haechan confused. “Exactly who are you, sir?”

“I’m the guy who’s going to be interviewing her for the homicide of Na Jaemin.” 

“WHAT?!” You scream. 

“Shit woman! Do you have to make my ears bleed?”

“I swear!” You look at the nurse. “I swear I didn’t do anything! Haechan! You jackass! What the hell is going on?!”

“Look,” he holds up hands trying to calm you down. “We both know you wouldn’t do anything to hurt Jaemin, especially not with your son around. The problem is that they found a body in YOUR home where there was a fire and Jaemin is nowhere to be seen. I’m not sure about the condition of the body but it’s already on its way to the coroners. 

“To be frank I shouldn’t even be on this case since I know you, but I can’t let this go to anyone else. Jaemin was my friend and when he married you, you became family to me. Until everything is resolved I’m going to make sure you and your son are safe. So just relax, okay? Tonight I’ll come over and explain everything that’s going to happen to you and Jeno. Call it a courtesy visit because we’re friends.”

“Haechan,” tears form at your waterline. “Please, you have to help me… I didn’t do anything! I swear! I could nev —”

He hushes you with his pointer finger against your lips. “I know and I hate knowing that right now you’re the prime and only suspect.”

“But I…”

“Ma’am, if this is your friend I’m sure he’ll do all that he can to help you. And if you said you had nothing to do with this incident you’ll be fine. The most important thing to focus on right now is healing so you can take care of your son.” The nurse rests a reassuring hand on your shoulder.

“She’s right. It’ll be fine and I promise I will find out what happened to Jaemin.”

“Thank you, Haechan…”

“Of course.” His attention goes from you to the nurse, a somber look deep in his eyes. “So, is she able to answer a few questions now?”

“I don’t see why not, but please nothing too stressful. Ever since you showed up her heart rate has acted up,” the nurse teases. 

“I always knew you were into me,” he wiggles his brows and blows you a kiss.

“Go fuck yourself, Haechan.”

“If you don’t mind can we have a little privacy please?”

“Oh, yes.” The nurse nods and leaves. “If you need anything just press the button I gave you.”

“Thank you.”

You watch the nurse leave and close the door behind her leaving you and Haechan alone. Letting out a huge breath Haechan joins you on the bed. 

Looking out the small window in your room you ask the dreaded question. “How bad is it?”

“Depends on what you tell me here.”

“Do they really think that I would do something as deliberate as to set my home on fire with my child and I barely escaping it unscathed?! What kind of lunacy are they snorting down at your precinct?!”

“I know you would do anything to protect your kid. We all know that but my boss doesn't. So I need you to tell me EVERYTHING. The events leading up to the fire and what happened afterwards. I need to know it all and DO NOT leave anything out.”

Gulping your head slowly turns to Haechan. “Exactly how much of everything do you need to know?”

Holding up his work phone he shows you the voice recording app. Turning your head away he says, “everything.” 

“That’s a little personal don’t you think?” Peeking back at him you see him press the button and know there is no way to get out of this. 

“Why don’t we start from the beginning? Actually, none of us know this, but when did you first meet Jaemin?”

You shrug, “almost two years before our son was born.”

“How did you meet him?”

“I got lost while taking a back road and ended up at his grandmother’s estate where he was staying. I had gotten hurt while trudging through the woods near her home and he allowed me to stay until I was better. He even invited my parents over so I wouldn’t miss spending the holidays with them.”

Shocked, Haechan chuckles. “Damn he did all that?”

“Yes it was very nice of him.”

“When did the two of you become official?”

“New Year’s Day.”

“How long did the two of you date before getting engaged?”

Rolling your eyes you start growing irritated. “Are these questions necessary? I mean really?!”

“Yes they are. We need to figure out if you had any reason to harm him.”

Turning away from Haechan you can’t help but remember all those months that you were locked up in that fucked up labyrinth of a home. How Jaemin made you play that perverse game hunting you down like you were a rabbit and he the wolf. Not to mention the use of his pride and joy, Nana… 

Your head springs up. “The dogs!!!!” You scream. “How could I have forgotten?! What the hell is wrong with me?! Where are the dogs? Are they okay?” 

“The two males seemed to have run away because they were located a few miles away in a different neighborhood. They’re safe and currently staying at a shelter until you’re able to care for them.”

“And Nana! What about her?”

Haechan shrugs, “we don’t know what happened to her. No one reported a dog that was found. I’ll check with the fire house, but as of now she may have perished in the fire.”

“She’s…she’s gone?” Tears spring to your eyes.

“I’m sorry, I know how much she meant to everyone.”

“Oh, Nana…” you cover your mouth as tears fall onto your hand. 

Your lips hidden from Haechan lightly tug at the ends. Fighting back the urge to smile, you let the appearance of grief take over your body. That hellish beast will no longer haunt you! She’s gone! Finally out of your life for good! 

It’s terrible to admit that you’re ecstatic she’s gone, but you are. She never got used to you being around. She would snap, bare her teeth, snarl, and bark at you. Not to mention all the times she purposely rushed past you making you lose your balance. The only sad part is that you will need to tell your son that his favorite dog in the whole wide world has passed away. Now that is going to be hard.

“So,” Haechan starts the interview again. “You were going to say how long you dated Jaemin.”

“We dated,” you sniff, “for about seven months and got engaged three months after I found out I was pregnant.”

“After your son was born, how was your marriage to Jaemin?”

“M-My marriage?”

“Yes, how was it being married to Jaemin? Did the two of you fight a lot? How did you manage being a new mom and a wife?”

“I… u-ummm —”

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

“Okay, I’m going to need you to give me one more biiiigggg~ push, okay?” The doctor instructs you.

“I can’t! I can’t do it!” You cry out.

“Princess you need to, okay?” Jaemin holds your hand in his. “You can do this, you can do anything you set your mind to.” He kisses your sweat drenched forehead.

“No! Seriously I can’t!” You start to cry. “It hurts!”

“Sweetheart, just think in one more push you’ll be able to hold your son in your arms. In one more push it’ll all be over,” he lays his head on top of yours. “I can’t imagine how much pain you’re in, but you just squeeze my hand as hard as you need to, okay?”

“Okay!!! On three I’m going to need you to push!” The doctor says enthusiastically.

“I can’t!” You now hold onto Jaemin’s hand with both of yours.

“You can do this!” He kisses your forehead once more.

“One…two…” taking a huge breath in, you brace yourself and squeeze the living daylights out of Jaemin’s hand when the doctor says, “THREE!!!”

“Yahhhhhhh!!!” Both Jaemin and yourself shout for different reasons. 

“We’re almost there just a little more,” the doctor instructs.

“Ahhhh c’mon!!!” You growl.

“You’ve got this princess just one more push!” Jaemin winces when you squeeze his hand again.

“AHHHHHHH FUCK!!!!!!!!” You scream.

And after the longest push of your life you hear the first cry of your baby boy. Immediately your body falls back onto the hospital bed, drenched in sweat. Your chest rises and falls quickly as you desperately try to catch your breath. Peeking down at the doctor, Jaemin’s eyes widen when the doctor holds up your baby.

“Princess! Princess!” He wraps his arm around your shoulders. “Look!”

Opening your eyes, you see the most beautiful baby in the world. Bursting into tears, Jaemin holds you close to him repeating ‘you did it! You did it!’ While his tears fall onto your cheeks.  

“Okay, we’re going to cut the umbilical cord now,” the doctor informs the two of you. “So, would you like to do the honors, dad?” 

Jaemin glances down at you. “C-Can I?”

“He’s your son, go ahead.” You reach up a clammy shaky hand and place it gingerly against his cheek.

Giving your wrist a quick kiss, Jaemin rushes over shaking from top to bottom. He’s given a pair of surgical scissors and the doctor tells him where to cut. After he is finished, they quickly take your son over to get a quick checkup, weigh in, and clean up, before he is placed in your arms. 

Consumed by this unspeakable feeling of pure love and adoration you stare at this beautiful baby. Feeling his breathing start to match your own, you wrap your hand gently around his. 

“You’re so beautiful right now,” Jaemin whispers next to you. 

Scoffing, you roll your eyes. “Yeah, I’m sure. I’m all sweaty, my hair’s a mess and sticking to me, I must look like a mess right now… So, don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not lying. You’re glowing right now. And I never want to forget this sight for the rest of my life.”

Peeking up at him you gasp at the state Jaemin’s in. Eyes and nose red from the tears he’s fighting hard to hold back, but the smile on his face could make the devil himself change his ways. It’s simply angelic. Then again, the bright ceiling light above him helps to create this angelic atmosphere around him. Bending down he rests his forehead against yours as his hand cups your cheek.

“I love you so much.”

Closing your eyes, you bite your lips before uttering, “I know, Jaemin.”

Letting out a hurt laugh he kisses your nose before pulling back. “Thank you for allowing me to be here.”

“Jaemin,” you whisper.

“I’ll set everything up for the two of you to be taken care of for the rest of your lives.”

“Jaemin.”

“I’m sure the guys will be there to help you with whatever you need so you don’t have to worry —”

“STOP!” You raise your voice but not too loud as to wake the baby. “Just… stop, okay? You don’t… you don’t have to say anything…”

“A deal is a deal.”

“This is your son! Even if I’m not ecstatic about it, he deserves to have his father in his life and not through a plate glass window. And before you get some twisted idea that I’ve suddenly forgiven you, I just don’t want to know that you’re in some jail cell counting down the days before you can see us again. I think that would make you crazier than you already are.”

“But I thought…”

“I will never forgive you. This is just me showing you some compassion and leniency which you DO NOT deserve. I’m doing this for my child, but you WILL seek the help you need. The moment you stop going to therapy is the moment I change my mind and go to the police.”

“Absolutely! I swear I won’t…” he chokes out a cry. “I won’t let you or our son down. I know you said you would never forgive me but I will do everything in my power to show you I can be a man you can rely on. I’ll become a man that will be there for you and our child.”

“There will also be a few rule changes!”

“Rule…changes?” His head tilts.

“You will no longer accompany me when I leave the home.”

“BUT –” he starts.

Holding up your hand you stop him. “I am not going to leave you. Not now with our son. I will also not speak a word of what happened in regards to the two of us. I will not speak a word to your friends either of the events that occurred between us and I will keep up my role as the happy dutiful wife. All I ask in return is that you trust me. I need to leave the estate at some point, Jaemin. I need to be free to visit my parents on my own. I need to be able to go to the store without having you tag along. Let me have the life of a stay at home mom, deal?”

Closing his eyes tightly, he nods his head reluctantly. “Okay. Deal.”

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

The car ride to Jeno’s house is dead quiet. Your son has since fallen asleep with his head resting on your lap. The two of you are sitting in the back of Jeno’s car so your son can stretch out a little more. Across from you in the driver’s seat, Jeno’s hands grip the steering wheel tightly. It’s weird… this morning you had a home, a life, belongings, dogs, and a husband — now you’re homeless with a child, no job, and your parents… well, you can always live with them but after everything… 

“What did Haechan want to talk to you about?” Jeno whispers.

“He wanted to know about my relationship with Jaemin.”

“What? Why?”

“I’m the only suspect so far,” you sigh while stroking your son's hair. “He needed to get background information on my life with Jaemin.”

“What the fu —”

“Jeno!” You quickly interject.

Staring him dead straight in the eyes you look down towards your son. Instantly realizing his faux pas he gives a curt nod. “Sorry, I guess I’ll have to watch my language from now on. The two of you can stay with me for as long as you need to.”

“I’m sorry that this happened, Jeno. This must be such an inconvenience.”

“You’re not an inconvenience, you’re family!” He reaffirms.

“Thank you.”

The car goes quiet again. A thickness in the air of questions yet to be asked and answers that you honestly don’t want to give and can’t give. You’re still trying to wrap your head around what happened. How did the house become engulfed in such a short period of time? 

“So, what exactly did Haechan ask you in regards to Jaemin?”

“He wanted to know when we started dating, how our marriage life was like. I guess just your typical background information on the prime suspect. Jeno, if anything happens to me I need you to promise me one thing. I need you to —”

“Nothing is going to happen to you!” He grips the wheel tighter. “Do you hear me? Nothing! Haechan, the guys and I will never let anything happen to you. Plus, we promised Jaemin that a long time ago.”

“Wh-What?”

“When your son was born and after the plethora of baby pictures, I mean geez did the guy have to send every single one he ever took?” He chuckles, making you smile gently. “Anyway, after all that he called us out to have a round of drinks and said that he was the luckiest man in the world. 

“That he can’t believe that he had you in his life. He was just so happy. He asked us to promise him that if anything were to happen to him, anything at all, that we would take care of the two of you and we all promised without any hesitation.”

“He said that?”

“Mmmhmm. But now…” Jeno’s voice grows quiet. “Now that I’m thinking about it he was talking as if something would happen to him soon. It was strange. He was happy but at the same time he was scared.”

“He was scared?”

“Maybe scared isn’t the right word…worried, perhaps?”

“Worried…?” your gaze drifts off into the dark night. 

“Yeah it was almost as if his whole world would be swept away in an instant. It was strange we’ve never seen him like that before.”

“Did he ever say what was going on?”

“Ahhh!! We’re here,” Jeno states as he pulls into his driveway. “Haechan said he’ll be over in about two hours to talk to us about what will happen next. In the meantime I’ll make you guys something to eat and you can get cleaned up.”

“W-We don’t have anything to…” you whisper.

“Haechan said he’ll bring over some clothes for the two of you. His sister left some of her stuff at his place before she moved out. Tomorrow if the two of you are up for it we can go shopping for some essentials.”

“I promise Jeno I’ll pay you back! I swear!” 

Turning back around he cracks a wide smile. “Don’t worry about it. And I’ll say it here and now so listen up. There will be no saying ‘I’m sorry about this,’ or ‘No, you can’t. This is too much,’ or anything like that, okay?”

“You’re an amazing person, Jeno. Thank you for everything. Truly. We'll forever be in your debt.”

“Nonsense,” he gets out of the car. “Now let’s get you two inside and some food in your stomachs.”

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

Sitting on the front porch on the swing Jaemin and Jeno put together for you a year ago during the early spring – you watch your son gleefully play with all of the dogs on the massive front lawn. It’s bizarre to imagine that three years ago you were holding your son for the first time. That he was this tiny precious baby and now, he’s running, laughing, and playing with all the dogs. He’s learning new words each and every day. How many clothes he’s grown out of, but one thing hasn’t changed – his love for you grows stronger and stronger each day.

“Mama!” He waves.

“Hi baby!” You wave back.

Nana barks, grabbing your son’s attention and he laughs while climbing on top of her. The smile you were proudly wearing starts to fade as the little shit of a creature wags her tail enthusiastically towards your son. Well, if there was one plus side with having Nana around, it was her loyalty. She would probably rush into a burning building to save your son before you took your first steps to do the same. She might be a bitch to you, but she loves your son dearly and for that, you’ll cover your disdain for her with a clench of annoyance with your jaw.

“I made some lemonade,” Jaemin says, coming out onto the front porch. “It’s extra sweet, just how you like it.”

“Ah, thanks,” taking your glass you mix the liquid around with the straw before taking a huge gulp. “It’s good.”

“It’s not too sweet?” He asks taking a seat next to you.

“No, it’s perfect.”

A smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. “I’m glad. I put in a little more sugar than last time. I’ll have to remember to make it this way from now on. So, what is on today’s agenda?”

“I need to go into town and do a little more shopping for his birthday party. Did you call the caterer?”

“Yep, they’ll be here an hour and a half before the party starts. The only problem we might have is the weather. It might rain in the afternoon, so I pulled a few strings and we’ll have a big tent set up the night before in the backyard as a precautionary measure.”

“It’s supposed to rain?” You ask worried. “Should we reschedule?”

“It would be too much of a hassle to reschedule. Plus, it’s just a smaller party this time around. Everything will be fine.”

“I just want his third birthday to be one to remember…” you pout looking out at your son who is still playing with the dogs.

“He’s not going to remember this birthday party at all so why worry? I mean do you remember your third birthday party?” Jaemin chuckles. “Once he hits seven that’s when we’ll have to up the ante.”

“Great, I'll have three years to plan the best party of all time.”

Jaemin starts to swing the porch swing gently, a huge smile on his face. “I know I’ve said this a million times already but I need to thank you for everything. If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t be here for moments like these. I wouldn’t be able to see him grow up at all, to see him laughing and playing with the dogs, or see his first steps. It’s all thanks to you that I’m able to experience all of this.”

“It’s not a big deal,” you mumble. “Plus, who else would take care of Nana? She hates me and only likes the two of you.”

Chuckling, Jaemin reaches over and puts his hand on top of yours. “She doesn’t hate you.” Glaring at him he starts laughing more. “Okay, maybe she highly dislikes you, but I mean, you did try to kill me, remember?” He tilts his head.

“It’s not like I wanted to!” You snatch your hand from under his. “You left me with no other choice!”

“I know I didn’t leave you any other choice. It was a joke, I’m sorry.”

Glancing over you see the smile that Jaemin was boasting to the world has since disappeared. These past three years have been turbulent to say the least. You’ve sporadically burst out in pure rage towards him which could be a combination of many things. Blaming most of these outbursts on fatigue, which you felt was true considering your son would not sleep right until a few months ago – deep down both of you know it’s because you’re still harboring the hatred you felt for being trapped by him. Though admittingly, the feelings have become less and less as the years go by.

Jaemin has been an excellent father. He’s gone above and beyond anything you could have thought of. Even when he was barely getting two hours of sleep a night he would wake up and take care of his precious baby allowing you to sleep. The only time he ever woke you, was when there was no milk in the fridge that you pumped. Jaemin wanted to be present for everything in his child’s life, all of the little moments and all of the big moments. He’s been amazing…

“No, I’m sorry.” You rub between your brows. “I shouldn’t have shouted. Plus, I knew what I was doing back then. I wanted to do it…”

“You wanted to kill me?” He asks quietly.

“I wanted to be free.”

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

“Okay, what are we looking at?” Jeno asks Haechan.

“Geez, can’t a guy get himself comfortable before you jump down my throat? Plus, where’s your hospitality? No drink? No offering of food? Tsk, tsk, not a very good host at all.”

“Haechan cut the crap!” Jeno growls. “This is serious! We need to know what’s going to happen!”

“Okay, okay, I know,” Haechan turns to you. “I sent in the transcript of what we talked about to my boss. He glanced over a few things but he’s still not satisfied. Now, I shouldn’t be telling you this, but he wants to look into the specifics of your relationship. I’m supposed to talk to your parents and try to get a feeling of how Jaemin and yourself were like during your relationship. He said something doesn’t feel right and he wants me to look into it.”

“Something doesn’t feel right?” You ask.

“For him, the timeline doesn’t make any sense. Honestly, I can’t blame him.”

Jeno runs an aggravated hand through his hair. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means while I was doing some research I found myself asking the same questions as him. How does someone who was so close to being a major player at her company just up and leave one day, out of the blue? How does she never go back to her job EVER and how does she not go back to her home? I talked with your landlord; he says he hasn’t seen you in over eight years. What’s up with that?” Haechan asks you.

“Why the hell are you looking into her like she’s some kind of suspect? Do you think she had anything to do with this? Whose side are you on?”

“That’s because as of right now she’s the prime suspect! It’s always the spouse who we dig into first with a fine-toothed comb, you should know this already. Look I’m on her side, but I’m going to do my job whether you or,” he looks you in the eyes and you knew what he was about to say, “you like it. This is my job! My livelihood. I can’t just sweep things under the rug. I promised that I would protect you and I will, but you’ve got to throw me a bone, some things just aren’t adding up.”

“So she quit her job and moved in with Jaemin. What does that have to do with anything? Plenty of couples move in with each other. If this is the kind of talk you wanted to have you can just leave!”

“Why are you getting so pissed? I’m keeping the two of you in the loop of EVERYTHING that’s going to happen. I’m not hiding anything.”

Jeno rises from the couch. “Because you’re making it seem like she’s guilty!”

“And who’s to say she isn’t?!” Haechan shouts while standing up as well. “Just because she’s family doesn’t mean she’s innocent!”

“Can we just keep our voices down, or take this conversation outside?” You ask.

“We made a promise to Jaemin! WE, as in all of us, promised to keep her safe as well as her son if ANYTHING were to happen to him.”

“And why did he make us promise something like that? Hmmm?! Maybe he expected that something would happen to him!”

“Are you fucking serious? Why would he think his life is in danger?”

“I don’t know, why don’t we ask his corpse that is in the fucking morgue!” Haechan screams as tears fall down onto his cheeks.

“H-Haechan…” you grab ahold of his hand. “Please, stop, both of you.”

“No! He’s being an asshole!” Jeno shouts.

“I’m trying to put together a picture so I can prove she had nothing to do with this!”

“And looking into her work history is how you do this?”

Sighing, you stand up between them. “Jaemin and I,” you start to speak but stop. “Jaemin and I had a fraudulent marriage!” You shout.

Silence fills the room as you finally speak some of your truth. Frankly, it felt nice to speak about things. Having kept this secret, this charade up for the past seven years has been tough. With Jaemin gone, perhaps…you can finally be free…

“What did you just say?” Haechan grabs your shoulders.

“I mean it wasn’t fraudulent in the literal sense. I lied to you when I said that Jaemin and I had been dating. We, well, the thing is –”

Scoffing Jeno rolls his eyes flopping down on the couch.  “So Haechan is right,” he shakes his head. “You’re going to sit down and tell us everything. No more secrets.”

“E-Everything?”

“Everything,” Haechan sits down as well. “This is only going to help you in the long run. If everything checks out then you won’t have anything to worry about.”

“What if I do have something to worry about? What if I say what happened between Jaemin and I and I lose everything?” Tears start to trickle down your cheeks. “Look, all you need to know is that towards the end, we were working on things. We even started to sleep in the same bed again! I swear!”

“You weren’t sleeping in the same bed?” Jeno questions.

Shaking your head anxiously, “I shouldn’t have said anything. I should’ve kept my mouth shut.”

“Tell us what happened!” Haechan states firmly and while you shake your head, your eyes close tightly, repeating ‘I can’t, I can’t’ over and over again until Haechan grabs your hand and soon you hear it click.

“H-Haechan!” Jeno gasps. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Haechan!” You squeak.

“Tell us everything or I’m going to take you down to the precinct and interrogate you the proper way. I’ll put you in our holding cell until you decide to talk. So, which do you prefer?” He holds up the other end of the handcuffs making your arm raise slightly.

Your eyes bounce back and forth between your hand and Haechan’s intense gaze. He wasn’t joking at all. He’s being dead serious. Gently turning to Jeno he motions for you to just talk, clearly exhausted from this situation and most likely today’s fiasco. Nodding, Haechan lowers your arm. Reaching into his pocket he pulls out his phone and goes straight to the audio recording app. Clicking the button he asks you the question, ‘what exactly happened between you and Jaemin?’

“Jaemin and I were married legally but we weren’t in love,” you start your sorted tale. “Well, at least I wasn’t in love. Jaemin, he was the one who was in love with me. I guess the real truth was he was madly, enthusiastically, crazily, in love with me. When we were married, I hated him. I was numb from the inside out. I only went through with the wedding because of my son.”

“Why would you marry someone you hate just because of your son? You were making quite enough money for yourself and any children you would have, so why go through everything to marry someone you hate?”

Shrugging you coil in on yourself. “That’s something I can’t explain. Like I stated I was numb. I had shut down all thoughts and feelings for the most part. It was as if I was looking at my life from outside of my body. I liked Jaemin when we first met. I even thought I found the person I would spend the rest of my life with, but he went crazy when I told him I had to go. He started acting erratic and, well, there’s really no other way to say it, but he kidnapped me.”

Haechan stops the recording quickly after you finish speaking. “What the fuck do you mean he kidnapped you?!”

“Jaemin slipped something into my drink the night before I was going to leave. I fell asleep in his arms in his bed and when I woke up I was in a different room chained to a bed. The chain was long enough for me to move around the room and to use the bathroom, but I couldn’t leave. He had Nana, for the most part, watch the door I was in. That little bitch hated me.” You roll your eyes. “The tears I was shedding in the hospital when you told me she was gone, were tears of joy. I couldn’t stand that dog. She would always try to trip me, she would bark at me, snap at me. She was acting like a jealous ex-girlfriend. She was like that the moment I stepped into Jaemin’s life.”

Shaking his head, Haechan stands up. “No. This… This didn’t happen.” He grabs his phone.

“It did happen, Haechan! I was locked in a fucking room for months and was made to play some stupid game where he was hunting me!”

“Shut up!” Haechan growls.

“No! You wanted to know what happened between us, so I’m going to tell you what happened between us. Every week I had to attempt to escape the estate. That was the game. Try to get through the fucking maze below the house to the main floors and escape past the three gates that were locked – the kicker, he had put the key to the locks to the gates on my collar that he had me wear around my neck. I was given breaks only at dinner time and at night where I had to enter a designated room.

“Once I was inside there was a light that turned green indicating that the game was officially on hold until the next morning. He would use Nana to sniff me out which made escaping damn near impossible. When he found me, he’d hook a chain to my collar and drag me back to the room I was staying in like a fucking dog! But when I got hurt, the games stopped and I was put on bedrest –”

“I’m not hearing any of this,” he puts his hands over his ears.

Standing up you grab hold of his wrists tugging at his hands. “So I did what I needed to do to survive! I pretended that I wanted him. I gave into every touch,” you hiss venomously remembering those moments. “That’s when the numbness started,” a dark cynical smile spreads across your lips. “I shut down completely and surrendered to him.

“I let him fuck me how many times a day he wanted to. I begged and pleaded for more like a wanton whore!” You shriek tears pouring down your face. “But that only gave me a chance to think about my escape. I waited until he felt comfortable around me. Until he could trust me, until he would free me of my chains that held me back from doing the one thing I couldn’t do before…”

“What did you do?” You hear Jeno’s shaky voice behind you.

Turning back your eyes darken over with a chilliness that has him shrinking back. “I tried to kill him. I thought I did honestly. I used a pillow to suffocate him in his sleep. I made my escape only to be stopped by Nana at the top of the steps. I pointed to where Jaemin was, and just like the dutiful dog she is, or was, she went to go and check on him.

“I sprinted through the halls that I mapped out many times in my head to get to the main floor as quickly as possible. I was afraid that at any second he would materialize before me. I made it out of the house and through the first two gates. I could barely breathe. My body was so tired, I don’t know how long I was locked down in that labyrinth of hell, but the brightness of the sun almost blinded me. When I got to the final gate and opened it, I was about to take my first steps to freedom when the gates closed automatically. And that’s when I realized I made a huge mistake, and the rest, well you guys know the rest of this fucked up tale.”

Out of nowhere Haechan lunges at you, his hands wrapping around your neck. “You fucking bitch! You killed him! You did this!”

“WHAT THE HELL!!!!! HAECHAN!!!! LET GO OF HER!” Jeno shouts as he rushes to stop Haechan.

“You wanted him dead! You made sure to end him this time didn’t you? Didn’t you?!” His grip on your neck tightens.

You claw for Haechan to let go of your neck when you start gasping for air, your vision beginning to gloss over from your tears. Maybe this was for the best. Haechan’s anger, though delayed, is justified. You did try to end his friends’ life, but it failed, and you were still trapped with that monstrous beast.

“Haechan! Stop! She’s turning purple!!!” Jeno screams. “She didn’t kill him! He lived you jackass!”

“She waited seven years to finish the job! I know she did!”

Your hands that were gripping Haechan’s wrists go limp at your sides. Jeno will take care of your son, you know he will. Plus, now your baby will never know what happened between you and his father. The secret of his conception will forever be hidden from him. No questions like ‘mommy how did you and daddy meet?’ ‘Mom what did dad say that won you over?’ ‘Mom, how long did it take for you to plan your wedding?’ Tears sprinkle down into your ears. The only sad thing is, you won’t see your baby boy grow up.

“Fuck man! Stop!!!!!” Jeno uses all his strength to punch Haechan square in his jaw and only then are you freed from his grasp. Not bothering to gasp for air, Jeno catches you in his arms. “Breathe!” He screams as the two of you fall to the floor, your body resting in his lap.

Why? You ask yourself. Why breathe? No matter what happens, no matter what truth comes out you’ll be thought of as guilty, so why bother?

“FUCK BREATHE!!!!!!!” Jeno’s tears fall onto your face. “PLEASE!!! BREATHE!!!!! FUCK!!!! HAECHAN CALL FOR AN AMBULANCE!”

“Let the bitch die, it’s what she deserves,” he hisses.

“What the hell are you talking about? Shit! D-Don’t worry, just stay with me, okay? Stay with me…” Jeno scrambles for his phone in his pocket.

“She deserves to die after what she did. How can you sit there and defend her?! She tried to kill Jaemin once, what makes you think that she didn’t try to kill him again?”

“For fucks sake man! I knew all of this shit already! I knew everything!”

Your heart pounds loudly in your ears. Your body is now screaming for air to fill your lungs. What did he mean he knew everything? He…He couldn’t have. Jaemin would never tell anyone his secret…he wouldn’t…

“…When you came into my life and we started talking, it was like I was seen,” he sniffles. “Someone was finally looking at me for me.”

“And you’re telling me your friends don’t see you for you?”

“They see me as the kid who’s from a rich family. Plus, it’s not like they aren’t from well off families either.”

“You’ve doubted their loyalty?”

“Never.”

“Then you trust them and accept that they see you for you.”

“Only one person.”

“Jeno?” You inquire.

Nodding he nuzzles his face in the crook of your neck…

“Mom…my…” You hear your son’s voice enter the room.

GO AWAY! BABY!!! PLEASE!!!! You scream in your head.

“Little man,” Jeno’s body trembles under you. “U-Ummm… your mom is just sleeping, go back to bed, okay?”

“Mommy…” you hear your son’s voice again. “Mama!!!!!” His voice comes closer to you. “Mommy!!!!!” He cries out your name.

AHHHHHH FUCK IT!!!!! 

And finally, you gasp for air. 

“Finally!!!” Jeno holds you in his arms. “Are you okay?”

“Mommy?” Your son sniffs. “What’s wrong with mommy?” He starts to cry.

“Uhh, she was just sleeping deeply,” Jeno lies. “Hae-Haechan, why don’t you tuck him back into bed, okay?” Haechan doesn’t move, his face blank and unreadable. “Haechan!” Jeno cries out. “Please, take him back to bed. It’s past his bedtime.”

“We’re not done here,” he replies, his voice cold as ice.

“Yes, yes, now go…”  Haechan reaches out for your sons’ hand and you watch your little boy disappear into the darkness of the shadowy hallway. “Shit woman,” Jeno exhales, his head resting on top of yours. “What the fuck were you thinking? You have a kid!”

You try to answer him, but your voice doesn’t come out. Again, you try to speak, but nothing.

“Don’t you ever do something like that again, got it?! Shit… I thought I’d have to bury two friends and I can’t do that. I can’t!”

“He’s back in bed,” Haechan returns into the living room entryway, leaning against the wall. “Now, would someone care to explain to me what the actual fuck is going on here?”

Suddenly tears well up in your eyes as you stare at Haechan. The numbing feeling that coursed through your body when he was beyond pissed at you vanished, now the only thing in its wake is fear. Fear that you’ve ruined your chances of freedom. Fear that you won’t be able to clear your name when you did absolutely nothing this time around. Fear that you were actually going to let yourself chase the white light and leave everyone including your son behind.

Holding out your hands you lower your head in shame and let everything out. Your body quakes as tears fall onto the floor beneath you uncontrollably. You deserve to be behind bars. You deserve to face your fate for so many things. Lying, manipulating, gas lighting, attempting to… you can’t even think of the word, for even contemplating ending your life, you deserve all the hell you’re about to face. Every bit of it…

Footsteps ring out into the quiet room, getting closer and closer to you until they stop right in front of you. You feel Jeno’s arm wrap around your waist protectively. A burning sensation pierces the skin of your hands, they are hit away. Peering up you see Haechan’s cold gaze staring you down as if you’re a piece of shit. His hand goes up again and Jeno’s grasp on you tightens even more, his body starting to turn you away from Haechan.

Clenching his hand, Haechan sighs. “Pull yourself together; you’ve got a kid to take care of.” He gets up, shoves his phone in his pocket and grabs his jacket. “We’re not done talking about what just happened.” He states before heading out the door.

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

Leafing through the papers on his desk, Haechan rolls his eyes annoyed. How could things have gone unnoticed for so long? How were you able to keep up the charade of a fake relationship with Jaemin the whole time the two of you were together? Staring at the home you and Jaemin shared he starts to bite his nails. The answer to everything felt so close and yet so far. Were you being honest about the happenings between the two of you early on? Were you hiding something?

The chatter and phones fill the precinct, but he’s since blocked out all of the noise. Three weeks have passed since he last saw you. Three weeks since he lost his temper and tried to…

“Shit!” He groans. “What the fuck is wrong with me?” He whispers to himself.

“Everything alright there?”

Haechan raises his head to see his co-worker, Mikayla. “Yeah, everything’s fine.”

“Mmmhmm, is that the reason why you look like hell because everything is fine?”

“Don’t you have a job to do? A case to solve or someone else to bother?”

Sliding her chair into her desk she looks across from her, smirking at Haechan. “Nope. But, if someone doesn’t mind handing over one of their cases I wouldn’t refuse.”

“You want the murder suicide case that badly huh?”

“Who wouldn’t? It was at the Governors’ Ball! Plus, it’ll look good with the higher ups.”

For the second time in five minutes Haechan rolls his eyes before opening one of the drawers at his desk. “Here, be my guest.” He grabs a file and tosses it over onto Mikayla’s desk. “I’ve got too much to deal with on this case anyway.”

“Are you talking about the house that burnt down?” She pouts. “What’s there to solve with that one? Didn’t the fire chief say that it wasn’t an act of arson?”

“Yes, but something isn’t sitting well with me. He stated that a gas pipe had a crack in it, but even then his words were ‘things happen sometimes. The house was old and didn’t have any updates to make sure that things were up to code. If it wasn’t a cracked pipe it would have been something else.’”

Nodding she looks through the case she’s just been handed. “And you don’t think the fire chief of all people knows what he’s talking about?”

“It’s not that…”

“Don’t tell me you’ve fallen for the lady of the house already,” she chuckles. “Or,” she gasps. “Do you think she’s the one who caused this?”

“I don’t know what to think anymore,” he runs a tired hand through his hair. “I think I need to take a break for a second and clear my mind.” Pushing his chair out he takes out his keys and unlocks the front drawer, grabbing a pack of cigarettes. “Care to lend a friend a shoulder for a bit?” He asks her.

Heading outside Haechan and Mikayla bow their heads and chit chat lightheartedly with a few of their fellow detectives and cops before heading around the corner to an alley next to the precinct. Leaning against the wall of the precinct, Haechan pops up a cigarette and offers one to Mikayla.

“You know I don’t smoke.” She waves a dismissive hand.

“Not now you don’t,” he puts the cigarette between his lips. “Wait a couple years, it’ll either be these or drinking – pick a poison now so you won’t be blindsided later.”

“What’s gotten into you these past couple weeks? Obviously you’re not sleeping well. Your eyes look like a panda’s. It was a house fire, it’s terrible but what more could there be?”

“There was a victim of the house fire, a body, but I don’t know how it all connects together.” He lights the cigarette and takes an extra-long inhale. Blowing out the smoke he turns to Mikayla defeated. “Would you ever stay in an abusive relationship?”

“What kind of question is that? No!”

“Even if the person started out kind in the beginning, you still wouldn’t?”

“It doesn’t matter if they were a saint in the beginning, no one man or woman should deal with an abusive partner. Why are you asking me this?”

Taking a smaller drag of his cigarette Haechan puffs out another round of smoke. “The woman whose house burned down, I know her. I’ve known her for the past seven years. She’s practically family at this point.”

“And you’re working on her case? Haechan you know you shouldn’t be near this case!” Mikayla pushes herself off the wall to stand in front of him. “What were you thinking?! If the captain finds out about this you’ll be dead meat!”

“I’m the only one who can work this case. Plus, I promised her husband that no matter what happened to him I’d be there to protect her and her son. I’m not breaking that promise, no matter what.”

“Even if it comes back that she was somehow involved in the death of her husband? Haechan you’re not thinking clearly, pass this case on to someone else, let them look into things with an unbiased mind.”

Flicking off the butt of his cigarette Haechan chuckles, “you know I watched them get married. I was there the day her son was born. I've smiled and laughed at all the dinner parties, birthday parties, every Christmas holiday, but it was all a lie.” He takes another long inhale of his cigarette letting the smoke fill his lungs before blowing it out once again. “He kidnapped her,” he mumbles.

“Wh-What…?”

“My friend, the man I thought I knew was a monster this whole time. According to her, he kidnapped her, kept her locked in that house for God knows how long before she tried to fight back and get free.”

“What did she do?”

“She tried to kill him,” Haechan’s jaw tightens. “With a pillow apparently. That was over seven years ago.” He blows out another puff of smoke.

Shaking her head, Mikayla takes her spot next to Haechan once more. “An attempt of murder?” She whispers.

“At that point it would be self-defense, would it not? Worst case scenario most she’d get is a couple months or a year if the news of this was brought out.”

“If? You’re not going to put that in the report?”

“Is it necessary?”

“It would show that she had a motive in the past to hurt your friend, why wouldn’t you clarify this?!”

“Because she said they were making things work, that’s why…” with one last inhale he finishes his cigarette, puts it out on the wall next to him and flicks it off to the side. “If you were in my shoes would you let this go, or would you put it into the report?”

“How long was she married to your friend?”

“About seven years.”

Lowering her head, her arms fold across her chest. “Get the full story and then come back and ask me.”

“Or, you could listen in on an interrogation. I called her in to be here after lunch, so you down to do this?”

“Yes.”

“Right this way,” Haechan opens the door to the interrogation room and you walk in. “Do you need anything to eat or drink?”

Pulling out the chair on one side of the table, you sit down placing your purse on the floor. “No.” You answer curtly.

“You’re mad at me, aren’t you?” He asks taking a seat in the chair across from you.

Clenching your jaw, you unwrap the scarf that was around your neck, folding it neatly off to the side. “Why would I be mad?”

Haechan’s expression falls quickly. Traces of his outburst are still visible on your neck, red bruising that anyone with decent eyesight could tell that someone had tried to hurt her. Scooting his chair uncomfortably, he leans forward. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened… I –”

Interjecting you ask, “what exactly did you want to discuss?”

The three weeks Haechan stayed away from both you and Jeno gave you a lot of time to think. It wasn’t that you were mad at him for what he did, hell if the roles were reversed you might have tried beating the shit out of someone who dared tried to kill your best friend – that being said, he would never be able to empathize with you. He’ll never know what kind of pain you were in psychologically, physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Talking to Jeno before he dropped you off here before heading out for some light shopping, he mentioned one thing that stuck out to you. Jaemin and Haechan had a very interesting relationship, though they were friends, they had their fair share of bad blood in the past. Arguments that resulted in small misunderstandings, fist fights that broke out because one said something they shouldn’t have. Their relationship was always swaying back and forth like a pendulum from good to bad. There were only a handful of moments where their relationship was neutral, but even then – even in the bad moments, Haechan respected Jaemin.

“Please, I’m sorry… I was just so angry and I wasn’t thinking…” Haechan tries to explain.

“I’m not mad but I’m also aware that your loyalty is with Jaemin more than it is with me, it always has been and always will be. No matter what, you are his brother and I am his wife. Now, what did you want to discuss?”

Glancing behind him, he sighs and pulls out his phone. Going through the motions of setting up the recording for the interview, he starts with the basics, your name, age, and association with the deceased. Information that you’re sure is well known by all.

“When we last talked you mentioned that your husband hurt you, is that correct?”

“Yes I did.”

“In what ways did he hurt you?”

“Like I stated I’m not 100% sure but I believe Jaemin slipped something into my drink the night before I was set to leave to go back to my apartment in the next city, approximately three hours from here. I woke up on what I assume is the following morning and I was no longer in his bedroom, but in another room deep below the main house. The rooms were white and at first it hurt to open my eyes.

“My clothes were different from what I went to sleep in. I was only given a white shirt and white leggings, white undergarments, and white shoes. I then noticed that I had something wrapped around my neck, it was a leather collar and attached to it was a long heavy chain. As stated it was long enough for me to move around the room, to use the restroom that was inside of this bedroom, but to get out and leave, there was no way I could. I tried tugging and using anything I could to break free, but it was no use.

“In the beginning he just came in and provided food and drinks for me. Brought in some books for me to read, but no matter how much I begged and pleaded he wouldn’t let me go. After a while, during this time I had no concept of time or how many hours passed, how many days. There were no windows, but after a while he came in and said that he wanted to play a game with me. The concept of the game was for me to get out of this long maze of corridors underneath the house and make it out of the house and past all of the gates on the property.

“He put a key onto my collar, removed the chain, stepped aside and told me to go ahead. I bolted out the door and from down the hall, where I was staying in — he said if I don’t make it out we’ll keep playing until I do. He knew very well it was going to be impossible for me to leave.”

“Why did he keep you in this room and chained up?”

“He stated that when I told him I was going to leave and go back home he started freaking out. He was right, he did start acting really weird. I mentioned this as the second week of the New Year was rolling in. He started to become extra clingy, and begged me not to go back. He said things like ‘I can provide for you,’ ‘please don’t leave me, please!’ ‘What do I need to do to get you to stay.’ I was slowly starting to think this might not work out because of how he was acting, and then suddenly, he stopped acting like this. He simply asked, ‘are you serious about this relationship?’ To which I said, ‘yes.’”

Haechan’s brow quirks up in confusion. “You mean to tell me this is all because you were going to go back to your home and to your job?”

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry but that doesn’t make sense.”

“When someone has a psychotic break a lot of things don’t make sense. He confessed that he was scared that he would never see me again. He was scared that after all these years someone who saw him for him and not as some rich guy was going to leave his life forever. That wasn’t true. I liked him a lot. I wanted to be with him. I fell for him, fast and hard, as he did with me. The only problem is that I wasn’t alone locked up in a house in the middle of nowhere, like he was.

I didn’t have a job that for the most part kept me away from people until absolutely necessary. I didn’t have a family that seemed to not care if I spent the holidays alone. Actually, speaking of the holidays, why didn’t any of you spend time with him?”

Pressing the pause button on his phone Haechan lets out a deep sigh. “Let’s keep this about you, shall we?”

“What? I can’t ask questions when you know the victim as well?” Tilting your head you smile. “Or does everyone still think you’re not involved in any way?”

“Only one person knows and I’d prefer to keep it that way until we solve this case. As for your question, off the record, Jaemin never told us anything. If we’re talking about the time period of seven years ago, he secluded himself from the rest of us. We didn’t even know he was at his grandmother’s house. So there was no way we could have talked to him about getting together.”

“I see.”

“Shall we get back to the real line of questions?”

“Proceed.”

Pressing the pause button again the recording starts up. “You said he had a psychotic break, how are you so sure?”

“I don’t know, I would assume chaining someone in a room for months would be defined as a psychotic break, wouldn’t you agree Detective Lee?”

Rolling his eyes, Haechan smirks. “Okay, let’s say that I believe you and he kept you in this so-called room, where is it exactly? There was nothing about an underground room in the blueprint of the house.”

“Why would there be something on the blueprint when it’s supposed to be used for something you’re not supposed to be doing. It’s like having a hidden passageway, not really hidden if it’s in the blueprint. Or, having your safe room listed in the blueprints. If an intruder had the blueprints to the house, for whatever reason, it would be really stupid to have that room listed, now wouldn’t it?

“But to answer your question, the room itself was the last room in a long corridor of many corridors. I can’t tell you how deep below it is, but there was an opening behind a large painting on the main floor. It was right before you would head up to the second floor. You pull the painting away, unlock the door – Jaemin always had the key on hand, and go down a long narrow staircase. Once you reach the bottom it’s like a secret bunker.

“The hallway is this bright light gray tone that almost blinds you. You keep walking down that hallway and you reach a door. Now this door was always unlocked, unless Jaemin wasn’t down there with me. If I somehow managed to free myself he would need something else to keep me down there until he could subdue me once more.”

Shaking his head, Haechan clicks his tongue while leaning back in his chair. His arms cross over his chest as he sports the cockiest grin you’ve ever seen. “You expect me to believe all of this was underneath his grandmother’s house? Are you serious?”

“I’m telling you the truth. You just refuse to believe it because it sounds outrageous.” Leaning forward you lean your elbows on the table, propping your head up with your hands at your cheeks. “There are a lot of things in this world that are beyond imagination Haechan. There are people in this world who do terrible and evil things all the time. Perhaps think back on one of your cases that shocked you beyond imagination. How did you feel before you knew the truth versus after?”

Readjusting in his chair he turns away from you. “Continue.”

“There were cameras everywhere. It wouldn’t surprise me if Jaemin didn’t have a room that was for watching me during our downtime. No matter where I was in the house, I was being watched. The only place where there were no cameras was the hidden passageways. They’re not exactly escape friendly. There are a lot of rusted nails sticking up from the floorboards, broken glass, not to mention the dust and bugs.

“I favored those routes, but Jaemin learned this after a few failed attempts. As soon as he figured out my plan he had Nana sniff something of mine and she always led him directly to me…” you pause, closing your eyes slowly. “Sometimes he would taunt me. He would pretend as if he had no idea where I was, but I knew that was a lie. I knew that with the sound of her footprints walking next to him, her nails clicking against the white tiled floor. I tried to keep moving, to keep a good distance so I could at least make it to the first floor, but I was always caught. Always.”

“The last time we talked you had mentioned off the record that you had gotten hurt, is that correct?”

“Yes.”

“How did you get hurt?”

Sighing, you give an I-don’t-know shrug. It wasn’t that you didn’t know, it was that there were plenty of times you ‘got hurt,’ but the incident he wants you to talk about is what you told him in front of Jeno, when you confessed shortly after that you tried to kill Jaemin. To say anything on record is certain doom.

“I’ll repeat the question,” he says sternly. “How did you get hurt?”

“Which time?”

“Pardon?” He looks confused.

“Which time are you referring too? There were a few cases that I needed bed rest before his twisted game started up again.” Snickering, “I guess I have to give him some credit. He didn’t want his little rabbit to be hurt while he hunted.”

“The last time you were hurt.” Haechan specifies.

“I got startled by how close he had gotten to me and tumbled down the stairs. I sprained my ankle and when he got me –” you pause.

It wasn’t as if these past two years of working things out with Jaemin have wiped everything he did off the face of the earth. It wasn’t as if you forgave him for keeping you away from your loved ones, but spending time with him, seeing him in almost the same light that you saw him when you first met… It almost was like a scar showing the first signs of healing, but talking to Haechan is like picking at the scar and opening it up.

The pain, the hurt, and psychological damage that you both faced resurfacing once more. What’s worse, he doesn’t believe you. He doesn’t believe anything that you’re saying and even if you could prove that it’s true… there’s no evidence…

Clearing his throat Haechan gestures for you to finish. “When he found me he linked the one end of the chain into my collar, and started to lead me away as if I was some animal on a leash. I told him I was hurt and he got mad. He brought up the rules and –”

Haechan interjects. “Rules?”

“There are seven rules to this game. Seven rules that you need to follow or else,” you stop again shocked. “Or else something bad would happen. It took me months to learn all the rules, but once I did I didn’t dare break them. I mean I was already being held prisoner, the logical thing that would happen if I break all the rules would be…”

“Death?” Haechan asks.

Shrugging you fidget in your seat. “I don’t think he would have ever killed me, but I wouldn’t have, during this time mind you, put it past him to destroy everything I loved so there was nothing else in the world I could have and hope for.”

The room falls silent. It was true you never tried to break every single rule in one round of the game. Yes, getting hurt is bad and it would hinder your escapes so you always tried to at least notify him of your injuries. Denying him once he caught you fair and square – with the help of his most loyal companion, was like whining after losing rock, paper, scissors. Jaemin never mentioned what he would do but the eeriness in his voice that first time he read you the rules still chills you to the bone.

 ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

Everything around you is dark. A few minutes ago, Jaemin had placed a blindfold over your eyes and stated that he wanted to play a game with you. A strange aura started to radiate from him and immediately you crawled away from him. Something about this game didn’t feel right, though it hasn’t even started. Pulling you back to him by your ankles, your body pulls the freshly made covers down on your bed.

“Don’t make this harder on yourself, princess,” he whispers close to your ear. “This is going to be a fun game, you’ll see. Plus, you’ll be able to leave this room. Don’t you want this?”

“I want to go home,” you whisper.

Grabbing your arm from under you, he manages to flip you over to your back, climbing on top of you. Your blindfold exposes one of your eyes, but he simply pulls it back down. “What have I told you a million times?” He asks, taking both of your hands into his grasp. Something cold touches your skin and before you can put two and two together, Jaemin has your hands bound by a zip tie. “You are home.”

Tugging on your neck you try to escape Jaemin’s grasp, but it’s no use. He has a firm hold on the chain that is attached to a leather collar around your neck. The sounds of his loyal companions' nails click on your right hand side, while Jaemin is on your left a few feet ahead of you.

“Please Jaemin! Please, just let me go! I promise I won’t tell anyone what you’re doing, okay? I just want to go back home!” You beg.

“Princess, I’m not in the mood to argue with you over this matter. You are home, this is your home. Your home is with me.”

“Jaemin, please, you have to stop this! Why are you doing this? I thought you liked me! Is this what you do to someone that you like?”

“Oh, I don’t like you,” he stops walking and you bump into him. Feeling his hands run up your arms, you scrunch your shoulders close to your ears, visibly uncomfortable with the gesture. “I love you,” he kisses the top of your head. “I want us to be together forever. I want us to start a family, to get married, to grow old together.”

“Then why are you doing this?! Huh?!” You scream only to notice your voice echoes around you. Startled you look around like an imbecile. There is no way you can see anything with this blindfold, but it was a natural reaction to the sound of your voice.

“I’ve waited for people to return before,” his voice grows soft. “I’ve waited and waited for the people I love to return to me but you know what princess,” his voice leaves your side and ends up behind you. “They never came back. I waited and waited and waited like an idiot for someone who I loved to come back into my life. For that person who I cherished more than anything to save me and I was left alone!” He shouts causing you to shrink down in front of him. “But,” he clears his throat. “I’m a reasonable man. I want you to stay with me because you desire to, but until you see this, how about a little game?”

The black fabric that was tied around your head slowly unravels before you. Squinting at the brightly lit room your hands come up to cover your eyes. “Wh-Where am I?” Your voice comes out barely a whisper.

“Take a look around,” Jaemin moves back in front of you. “Now for these,” he digs into his pocket bringing out a Swiss Army knife and removes the zip ties from your wrists. “There we go.”

Rubbing your wrists, Jaemin steps to your left side allowing you to get a view of where you’re at, but what you see doesn’t make any sense. In front of you are four different hallways. All of which are the same light gray color, all of which appear to be the same length. The area you find yourself in is like the end of a road. A small enough area for someone to choose what path to go, but that’s about it.

“Wh-Where am I?” You start to shake.

“You’re at the starting line. Every time we play this game you will start here. But, before you begin, I think it’s best if we go over the premise of this game as well as the rules. So listen up, okay?” Nodding in shock you stare down each of the long hallways, your heart starting to beat faster and faster. “The premise of the game is for you to leave this underground maze and reach the main floor of the house. After you reach the main floor, you’re to leave the house and go through each of the three gates on the property.”

“We-We’re still at your grandmother’s house?”

“Yes. We haven’t left. This is an underground maze of hallways that my great-great-great grandfather had made during a time of war. This was to insure that the family would be able to escape unharmed if the home were to be invaded for any given reason.”

“B-But why am I down here?”

“To play a game, silly.” He chuckles. “Think of this as a HUGE escape room. There are plenty of secret passageways, doors that you can enter, and plenty of hallways that you can travel down,” he starts walking around the room, his eyes closing shut with a little smile on his face. “Grandmother and I liked to play hide and seek down here. She knew this labyrinth like the back of her hand. From generation after generation, all of the kids came down here to play, so that’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to play!” 

Your body starts to tremble uncontrollably. “I-I don’t want to play! Wh-What if I get lost? What if I can’t make it to the main floor?”

“The game will last for four hours. You have exactly four hours to get from down here, to upstairs and out of the house and off the property. After four hours, if you are down here, whichever door you’re near will have a green light above it. That is to signify the end of the game for that day, and for a meal and sleep break. You’ll hear an alarm and that is when you wake up, get dressed, have another meal, and get ready for another four hours to try to escape. This will continue until you get to the main floor, or if you get hurt. Simple, right?”

Shaking your head you back away from him and the strange hallways. “I don’t want to play this. I…I want to go back to that room.”

Tilting his head, his lips pucker out in a pout. “It’s either we play this game, or you’re trapped down here until you submit to me, forever.” He smiles brightly when he says forever, a cold chill raking across your body. “So, what’s it going to be? A shot at freedom, or a lifetime with me?”

He can’t be serious… This is just some joke that he’s trying to play. An ‘I got’cha’ moment where he says it’s all a joke and that he was just messing with you this whole time and you can pretend this nightmare never happened. No… no… this HAS TO BE a dream, no! A fucked up nightmare! There’s no way the man you were cuddled up against, after a beautiful romantic dinner, and a night of making love is the same sick sadistic monster in front of you. This has to be a nightmare…it has to be!

“Tik tok, princess, we don’t have all day.” He leans down so he can look into your eyes. “Should I explain the rules so you can understand better?”

“YES!” You squeak.

“Okay,” he moves away from you and starts walking back and forth, waving his arm as if he’s giving some grand speech. “Rule 1, 'the one being hunted may try to escape the property by any means necessary unless they are in a safe room, or have been injured. Rule 2, if the party being hunted finds themselves hurt they are to call out the safe word 'red' or push the red button that is located on the wall outside of all of the designated safe rooms signifying that the game is over.

“Rule 3, the hunter will give their prey a specified amount of time as a means for a head start before starting the hunt. They may extend or cut back on the amount of time given per round. Rule 4, it would be wise for the prey to keep themselves well-hidden and keep quiet to ensure the game does not end too soon. Rule 5, if the hunter catches their prey, the prey needs to come quietly as the round has ended. Rule 6, the hunter will then inspect the prey for any injuries once they have been captured. This is by no means a rule that can be skipped or looked past. Rule 7, if the prey tries to resist – the hunter will have to make their prey submit by any means necessary.”

Stopping right in front of you, a gentle smile on his face that makes him look like a sweet angel in disguise he asks, “do you understand the rules, princess?”

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

Plopping back in his chair Haechan stares at you in disbelief. He opens his mouth as if to say something, but instantly closes his mouth and looks away from you.

“I’m not making anything up. I played that sick game for months. I tried and tried and tried again to escape. Every time I thought I was so close to reaching the main floor he would randomly appear, with Nana by his side. It was only then I discovered that he was using her to help sniff me out. Then, I found the secret passageways and started to learn how to navigate them. The games were prolonged for more than just a day. He enjoyed it. But there was one thing I wasn’t going to do and that was to submit to him.”

“So then why did you submit to him and let him have his way with you?”

“I was at my wits end and I thought if I gave him the idea that I was his and his alone, he would just take me up to the main floor. But he saw right through me. After I made it to the last gate he said –”

“You mean after you tried to kill him with the pillow?”

Your jaw tightens. How could he just utter this out as if it’s okay? He promised to protect you. He promised to keep you safe and to make sure that nothing was going to happen and now it feels like he’s trying to throw you under the bus. Was he this mad and upset? Could he not see how terrible Jaemin was?!

Letting out a shaky breath your head lowers, “yes.”

“You may continue what you were saying prior.”

A tired pathetic laugh passes your lips. Running a hand through your hair, you peek up at the man sitting across from you. A man that was supposed to be your friend, but is now a complete stranger to you. “Does it even matter? You got what you wanted. It’s done, it’s over with. No matter what I say from here on out it won’t be taken seriously. I can scream it to the heavens that I had nothing to do with Jaemin’s death but no one is going to believe me because of what you just made me say. Which if I’m remembering correctly, was supposed to be kept private after I talked to you, at Jeno’s house, off the record that is.” You decide to throw in this tidbit of information into the recording. If he wanted to take you down, you were going to be sure he was going to get accosted in some shape or form too. “So,” you look up, eyes clouded with anger. You place your hands as far out in front of you as you possibly can. “Slap the cuffs on me. I know you want to. I know you want me to be in jail. You made that clear the other night.”

Haechan reaches forward and stops the recording on his phone. “You’re fucking ridiculous,” he hisses. “Do you think I want you behind bars? Do you think I want to take a mother away from her child? That’s not what’s going on here.”

“Then what is going on? You made me confess that I tried to end someone’s life! You think I don’t feel guilt over that? You think I didn’t look at him every day and realize what I tried to do? I never wanted to do that in the first place. I didn’t want to be put into a position where I would contemplate ending someone’s life. But I was forced into that position. My rights, my freedom, my life was taken from me. I tried fighting for it by getting out of that damn maze, but I couldn’t escape. No matter how many months I was down there I never won once. I never got close to getting to the front door until I thought he was gone.

“When I finally made it to the front door and past the first two gates and attempted to step across the line to freedom the last gate closed and he materialized out of nowhere. He said he knew what was going on because I changed my behavior. He knew everything so he pretended to die. It was just another sick game of his and I fell right into his trap.”

“Why didn’t you say anything? Why did you get married to him? Why were you with him all these years?” He shouts, tears running down his cheeks. “This is the part that I don’t understand. If he was so fucking terrible why did you stay?”

Seeing Haechan unravel before you has you pulling back your wrists. Sitting back into the chair more comfortably you let out a long exhausted breath. “I lost the will to fight, Haechan. I was tired. I was scared, I was disgusted with myself most of all. I ended up pregnant because I thought I could win. Like the stupid idiot I am, I thought by showing him what he believed was love I could be let out of my cage, but I was wrong and ended up pregnant all while simultaneously trapping myself in a whole new cage.”

“Why did the wedding even happen then? Why didn’t you give us a sign?”

“I was a zombie for the longest time. I didn’t feel anything. I was only alive and breathing because of the child I was carrying. Everything else didn’t matter to me. So, I put on a mask and played a role. Even if I wanted to say something, he would have stopped me or tried to switch the subject. I hesitated for the tiniest second while I was standing before the judge with him, his hands holding mine – for a millisecond I was going to tell the judge as quickly as possible I was being held against my will, but with a strong squeeze of his hand in mine, I knew he would stop me the moment I tried.”

Suddenly a knock is placed on the door. Haechan quickly wipes his tears away before standing up. “Give me a second. Do you need anything at all? A drink? Something to eat from the vending machine?”

“No, I’m fine.”

Walking out of the interrogation room, Haechan closes the door behind him seeing Mikayla is the culprit who interrupted him. “Why did you call me out here?” He rolls his eyes in annoyance. “We were finally getting somewhere.”

Mikayla tilts her head, “that’s not what I saw. By the way, she’s innocent. Her entire body language is screaming it so you can cut her some slack. Also, if someone was willing to work out the relationship after that shit show, they are in love. Whether or not it’s a strange form of Stockholm Syndrome is a topic for another day. But, that’s only a part of why I pulled you out here,” she hands Haechan a vanilla colored folder. “It seems you’re going to be working on this case for a little bit longer.”

“What do you,” he opens the folder, his eyes scanning over the documents. “Mean…?” He looks up shocked.

“I know,” she sighs. “Good luck, you’re going to need it.”

Slapping him on the back she takes her leave. “What the fuck did you do, Jaemin?” Haechan whispers.

Haechan returns to the room with a somber look on his face. He heads straight to the table, and presses the pause button again, starting the recording once more. “You mentioned things were getting better?” He asks tirelessly.

“U-Ummm, y-yes…” You eye him suspiciously. “When our son was born he actually was ready to turn himself in. Two months prior we had a discussion and he asked me how he could make everything up to me. I knew he was sorry. I could tell with just a glance into his eyes he regretted everything, but he did what he did. I wasn’t going to forgive and forget all the pain he caused just because he spoke the words ‘I’m sorry.’ I told him the only way that he could make up for even the smallest bit of what he did was to turn himself in. He said he would, but asked for one thing and that was to see the birth of his son.

“However, just after he saw his son for the first time he was talking about making arrangements for the two of us to be well taken care of in his absence. I knew what he was talking about. I knew why he was saying everything. He asked for one thing, I obliged and he was prepared to face the consequences, but I don’t know what came over me. I didn't want him to leave. I didn’t want him to be in prison miserable, and long for the life he could have had if he didn’t fuck it up in the first place. I told him I thought it would have made him crazier if I kept him away from his kid. So, I asked instead that he seek professional help and if he did I would keep his secret.

“If I’m being honest I wouldn’t have told anyone of his wrong doings. So, the next day he sought help and went every week to a therapist. In the beginning we both went and talked about what our issues were but afterwards it was Jaemin who needed the help. He never broke that promise to me. Then, on my birthday things started to change. I don’t know if you remember the birthday party he threw for me but that’s the moment I decided to give him a second chance.”

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

“Happy! Birthday! To! You!!!!” Everyone sings out.

Eyes brimming with tears you glance around at all of the smiling faces. Everyone showed up for your big day. Your mom, dad, all of Jaemin’s friends, and of course your sweet little guy all day has made it his mission to make you the happiest mom on the planet. Blowing out your candles your only wish is to have more days like this.

“Thanks everyone,” you wipe your eyes before any tears fall onto your cheeks. “But you really didn’t need to do this.”

“Are you kidding?” Chenle chuckles. “How else are we going to get free food?” He jokes.

“Plus, we technically didn’t do anything,” Renjun wraps his arm around Jaemin’s shoulders. “This guy right here planned everything. He just told all of us when and where and we showed up.”

“Y-You did this?” You ask Jaemin.

Scratching the back of his head he nods bashfully. “We haven’t really celebrated your birthday. I thought I would give you a birthday to remember.”

Without realizing you spring up from your chair and wrap him in a tight embrace. “Thank you, Jaemin, truly.”

His face falls into the crook of your neck, his arms wrapping around you tightly. “Anything for you…” He whispers. And just like that the moment was gone. “So, who wants cake?” He asks stepping away from you.

One by one your friends and parents come up for a slice of cake, laughing and smiling together as if these people were always meant to be in your life. As if this very moment was supposed to happen all along. Placing a hand on your shoulder, Jeno leans down, handing you a piece of cake.

“Happy Birthday,” he gives you a kiss on the cheek.

“Ehhh?!!” Haechan starts pointing. “What do we have here?! I didn’t know we could kiss the birthday girl!” He puts down his cake and charges towards you.

“N-No!! Haechan!” You start backing away.

“Don’t you dare run from me, woman!” He starts laughing while approaching you. “Now give your favorite person in the world a kiss,” he puckers his lips.

“YAH!!!!” You scream but a giggle comes from you when he starts chasing you around the backyard.

“Mama!!!” Your son giggles. “Run, mama!!! Run!!!”

“I’m trying, baby!!!”

“Al…Most!!!! THERE!!!!!”

Haechan sprints for you, reaching out his hand when you collide into a body knocking the person down. A low grunt comes from beneath you. Quickly scrambling off of the victim you see Jaemin was the person who you crashed into.

“Jaemin!” You squeak. “A-Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

Snickering, he sits up smiling at you. “I’m fine, but I couldn’t let anyone else kiss you before I kissed you.”

Suddenly your heart skips a beat. His smile softens, his hand reaching out for yours as he pulls you down to him. Gulping your eyes scan his for some sign that he’s joking, that he wasn’t really going to kiss you especially not in front of everyone. Behind you you hear Haechan complaining that Jaemin stole you away, but his complaints are soon muffled by the pounding in your ears, your heart picking up speed the closer Jaemin’s lips get closer to you.

“Happy Birthday,” he whispers and just as your eyes flutter, and the tips of your noses touch, he slides his hand around your neck pulling you down to him. “I love you,” his warm minty breath cascades down onto your face and just when it feels like he’s going to kiss your lips he pulls you down further to give you a kiss on your forehead.

He chuckles, sliding away from you. “Go ahead, Haechan,” he winks at his friend. “Okay so who hasn’t gotten a piece of cake yet?” He asks everyone.

“Me daddy! Me!”

“What?!!! Well come here!” Jaemin scoops up your son into his arms and walks off with him.

“Well, now you’re all mine,” Haechan’s voice brings you back to the reality you’re about to face. Before you can even object, he plants a wet kiss on your cheek. “Finally!” He laughs. “Now I can get back to my cake!”

Sauntering off, head held high you’re left on the ground still in shock. Your mind races with thoughts you’ve kept quiet for the past five years. Feelings you thought were completely gone, but now have resurfaced. 

How? When?

“Need any help?”

Looking up, Jeno has his hand stretched out. “Uh, yeah, thanks.” You take hold of his hand and he helps you up.

“Don’t mind Haechan, he's just being…well, himself.” He laughs. “I guess I should say sorry for starting all of this.”

“Oh no, it’s fine. Really.”

“Now, I know that you haven’t opened any of your gifts yet, but I wanted to give you mine personally.” He holds out a cutely wrapped box with a sparkly pink bow wrapped around it. “It’s nothing much but I saw it and thought you’d like it.”

“Je-Jeno…” you feel tears starting to well up in your eyes again. “You didn’t need to get me anything. You’ve done so much already,” you unwrap the gift to find what looks like a jewelry box inside. “Wh-What is this?” You ask opening it.

Inside is a beautiful silver heart-shaped locket. Pulling it out, he instructs you to open it and when you do one half has a picture of your son, the other, a picture of yourself, but only you. A little surprised he takes the locket from your hands.

“I had asked Jaemin what I could get for you. He said he had no idea and to get you something that would make you happy. So I said what about a locket with all three of you inside, but he said to make it extra special for you and have it of you and your favorite person in the world.”

Jeno claps the latch for you, and the new piece of jewelry dangles around your neck. “He’s a dumbass,” you mumble.

“He is, but I didn’t want to overstep my boundaries.” Jeno laughs.

Reaching in, you hug Jeno tightly. “In any case, I love this. Thank you, Jeno.”

“No problem,” he hugs you back just as tight. “And just between the two of us, inside the box there are alternate pictures for you to put into the locket, but don’t tell the dumbass I told you.”

“I won’t!” You start giggling.

The rest of the party went by without a hitch. You couldn’t have spent your birthday any better than how you spent it today. Being around those who you’re close to and sharing such a beautiful memory will go down as one of your favorite birthday’s to date, and the best part, having your little guy part of this big day as well.

“Rest well, sweetie.” You kiss your son on the cheek.

“Night night mommy,” he yawns.

Quietly you exit his room, but not before turning on his nightlight. Closing the door halfway, you peek at him one more time before heading back downstairs. In search of your husband, you head straight for the kitchen where he was last seen hunched over doing the dishes. His back turned to you, you watch him quietly. Leaning your back against the wall, your hands grow clammy as you attempt to speak to him. For the past five years you’ve barely uttered a word to him that didn’t have a purpose behind it. Not knowing how to talk to him anymore you clear your throat before walking up to the kitchen table.

Turning around at the sound of you clearing your throat, his sleeves rolled up to the bend of his arm, an apron wrapped around his waist, Jaemin stares shocked to see you… alone, in the kitchen… with him. 

“Ummm, I… I thought I would tell you juniors in his room sleeping, so if you wanted to say goodnight you might have to do so at the door.” You mumble.

Nodding, Jaemin turns back to the dishes and continues. “I’ll do that. Thanks for letting me know.”

Your fingers run down your face, exasperatedly – pulling at your bottom lids, as they stop at your cheekbones. Was talking to him always so hard? You ask yourself. “I, uh, I wanted to say thanks for today. I really appreciate it. You didn’t have to go through all the trouble, but I’m truly grateful.”

Shaking his head he turns to place a dish on the drying rack where you see the faintest hint of a smile. “It was no trouble at all. You’re a terrific mom and I wanted to do something to celebrate you. There’s no need to thank me.”

“No,” you move from the kitchen table, and head straight for him. “I really do need to thank you and for more than just the party. I’ve given you a hard time these past couple of years and while I want to apologize, I still feel like because of what happened I shouldn’t.”

Placing down the dish cloth in his hands he turns to you. “You shouldn’t apologize. What I did… I should be on my knees everyday thanking you for allowing me to be in our son’s life.”

Holding up your hands you shake your head in protest. “I want to make things better between the two of us. I want our son to grow up in a healthy household. So, I believe in order to do this I should change the picture on the one side of the locket.”

Jaemin snickers and returns to washing the dishes. “Jeno told you what I said?”

“He did. While I don’t know how to feel exactly you deserve to be in the locket as well. I wouldn’t have been able to raise our son by myself. Those first few months when he wasn’t sleeping you stayed up with him every night so I could rest. You fed him, bathed him, and played with him more than I did and it was all because you saw how exhausted I was. You’ve sacrificed so much of yourself for him as well as me.”

“It’s the least I could do after everything. I’ve royally fucked up my life, your life, and our sons’ life.”

“Jaemin…” You whisper while your heart pounds in your ears.

Turning to face you his eyes widen when your lips press against his. You hear the dish cloth plop into the water and immediately after, Jaemin grabs hold of your upper arms and pushes you away from him.

“Pl-Please…” he keeps you at arms length, his head bowing down before you. “You don’t want… You can’t do this.”

“Why can’t I do this?”

“You’re not in the right headspace. What I’ve done to you, you shouldn’t even have to look at me unless absolutely needed. Please, just get some rest. You’ve had a long day.”

“No,” you place your hand on top of his. “I kissed you because I wanted to. And if you wouldn’t mind lowering your arms, I would like to kiss you again. That is, if you’re okay with it.”

Jaemin’s arms start to lower, but he keeps a firm hold of you. “I don’t deserve your kindness… I don’t deserve your… your…” his voice gets softer and softer as you draw closer to him.

“What I give you from here on out will be what you deserve for your actions going forward. I want us to have a clean slate,” your hand slides up his chest, causing him to shrink inward. “I want what could have been, what should be, and what may be a life with you.”

Your hand travels up from his neck, skates over his collar bone, to his neck as you pull him closer to you. His eyes flutter wildly as if he’s unsure if he should accept this or flee. Then again, your eyes were doing the same weird dance as his. His pulse pounds crazily against the palm of your hand, mirroring your own. A strange desire to feel his lips on yours, and possibly (at least you hope) yours on his. Mere inches apart, Jaemin’s hand slides onto your hip making you gasp, and before you know it, his lips land on yours. 

Not wasting a single second, you wrap your arms around his shoulders trapping him in your grasp. He complies, by wrapping you in a tight embrace as well. Your lips sliding across each other’s in a feverish kiss. It felt like after years of fighting, years of distance, years of hatred, pain and hidden lust — everything was pouring out from the two of you in one single moment.

Jaemin’s tongue skates across your bottom lip asking for entrance and as if you’ve been kissing him this whole time your lips part. The once sweet gentle kiss turns to hot then wet in a matter of seconds. Your tongues sliding across each other’s a battle for dominance ensues and has both of you breathing heavy. Jaemin’s lips wrap around your tongue and immediately you become putty in his hands. Your knees give way, and quickly he pushes you against the counter for support. Holding your face in his hands he switches between sucking the shit out of your tongue, and shoving his down your throat.

Eyes watering, you grip onto him for dear life while you try to keep your wits about you. Pulling back for air both of you breathe heavily. His skin kissed with redness as he stares into your eyes like he did that night when he stole your heart. The memory smacks you in the face and before you can think about anything else, you grab the hem of your shirt and rip it over your head – tossing it onto the floor next to the two of you.

Scrambling, Jaemin unties his apron from his waist, and with shaky fingers you unbutton his button down shirt until he swiftly throws it down with yours. Your bottom lip snags between your teeth as you stare at the still sexy man in front of you. His muscles, though smaller still have your legs clenching together tightly. Jaemin grabs the back of your neck and pulls you in for another kiss, this time softer, this time sweeter.

“Where to?” He mumbles against your lips.

“Your room?” You ask. “I don’t want to risk the chance of you know who seeing.”

“A little risk adds to the excitement of it all,” his lips travel from yours and down to your neck.

“And last time was my father, I don’t want this time to be our son.” Jaemin clamps down on your neck roughly causing you to moan. “J-Jaemin… please…” You beg.

Turning from you, he grabs hold of your hand and both of you rush out of the kitchen a lightness in your steps and a massive amount of giggles coming from you.

Maybe this can actually work out, just maybe…

The moment you enter Jaemin’s room, he closes the door behind you and locks it. Pressing you against it, his lips capture yours. The moment your lips touch, everything becomes blurry as you sink into the lust you’ve kept at bay. Jaemin’s hand grabs hold of your waist, pulling you closer to him. He nips your bottom lip before his lips travel to your cheeks and back down to your neck. Your eyes flutter, a smile rests on your face – lord knows how badly you’ve needed this moment, to feel someone touch you, kiss you, and caress you.

Suddenly you feel a sense of freedom. Looking down, you find your bra straps inching down past your shoulders. Giggling, you quirk a brow at Jaemin who smirks before stealing another kiss from you.

“I need to see your body again,” he confesses.

Wiggling out of your bra, he throws it across his room. His eyes go from yours down to your face, to your décolletage, and down to your breasts. Feeling a little shy, you cover yourself, but he grabs hold of your wrists pulling your arms apart.

“Never cover yourself. You’re still as beautiful as the first day I saw you,” he reassures.

“R-Really?” You ask, your face warming up by the second.

“Actually,” he takes a step back, his hand resting under his chin as he glances you over, a dark hunger in his gaze. “Now that I’m looking at you, I have to say no.”

Your head shoots up in shock, eyes instantly becoming watery. “Wh-What?”

“You’re even more beautiful than the last time I saw you.” He smiles sweetly. “It must be the glow of a strong, beautiful woman and mother,” he wraps an arm around you. “Honestly, you’re a lot hotter than before too.”

“Jae-Jaemin!!!!” You slap his bare chest lightly.

“If things go well,” he dips his head down placing a kiss at the center of your décolletage, “maybe we should try again – this time however, with both of us on board.” He glances up at you.

“You mean another little one?”

His lips slide to one of your breasts. Jaemin keeps a firm hold of you, your back arching up as he wraps his lips around your nipple. Nodding he sucks on the erect bud before giving it a playful nibble causing you to squeak. With one final suckle he pulls back smiling from ear to ear.

“That is, if you’re okay with the idea.”

Whether it was the crazy storm of emotions roaring through your body, the lust of wanting Jaemin to take you here and now, or deep down you would love to see your little boy have a brother or sister to play with – you eagerly wrap your arms around him, jumping up and down where you stand.

“Let’s do it!”

Jaemin chuckles as he watches you turn into the cutest person in the world before him. “Are you sure? I mean we could talk to Dr. Kwon and see if she –”

“Na Jaemin!” You state firmly. “If you do not drag me over to your bed and plow into me in the next two seconds I will never forgive you for ruining the moment!”

Before you even realize it, you’re dragged from the door and flung onto the bed with Jaemin crawling on top of you. “I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I ruined this moment. Your wish is my command, my love.”

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

Haechan covers his mouth as he turns from you. “So essentially you two –” he becomes quiet.

“Had sex and started to restore our relationship? Yes, we did.”

“But that was a long time ago. There is no saying things didn’t turn south once more.”

“It was not even three years ago, Haechan. How can you think that I would not only lie to you about what happened but actually hurt my husband? Yes, in the past I was in a different head space but that doesn’t mean that I was or am even remotely in the same headspace. We were once a family. I know what I was about to do was wrong. I know, I understand and I myself regret telling you. It was something that Jaemin and I promised we would never bring up again.”

Glancing your way, his face looking exhausted he asks, “did he really do those terrible things to you?”

Standing up you grab your purse. “If you want to know the specifics of Jaemin’s state of mind and what happened to not only myself but to him, I suggest talking to Dr. Kwon. I stopped seeing her personally after the first year. I got what I could from her, but Jaemin –  he kept his promise to me, he promised he would keep going so nothing like what he put me through would happen again, and he kept it! And I kept my promise as well by keeping my mouth shut of all the shitty things he did to me.

“The only people we ever told were Dr. Kwon, apparently Jeno (which I didn’t know Jaemin told him), and now you – or should I say and now anyone and everyone who will hear that stunt you pulled. You can be mad all you want, you can hate me, you can try to end my life yourself because what I did was terrible! But unless you were there, unless you went through what I did you have no fucking idea how badly I wanted to escape, how badly I wanted to get back to my life, to my parents!”

Opening your purse you take out one of Dr. Kwon’s business cards you took from her office. Slamming the card down onto the interrogation table in front of Haechan you turn to the door. “Call her before coming back to talk to me. I’m not running and I’m not hiding anymore. But I swear to you Haechan, I didn’t hurt him. I could never hurt him!”

You head to the door and just as you are stepping out Haechan calls your name, halting you before you take one more step. “The body,” he utters. “It’s not…it wasn’t,” he twitches with irritation. “The body wasn’t Jaemin and there are absolutely no traces of a dog there at all.”

Slowly you turn back to him, eyes widened and mouth hung open in shock. “What did you just say?”

“When I was called out I was handed that vanilla folder.” He looks down at the table before him, your eyes following as you both stare at the folder sitting haphazardly at the table's edge. “Inside is the report from not only the coroner, but also the officers on site and pictures of the scene. It’s of a person’s body, badly burnt, but they are not Jaemin’s remains. According to the coroner they seem to belong to someone by the name of, Michael Krest. Do you know who this person is?” He asks.

In that moment your body gives out and you crash to the floor, hard. “Shit!” Haechan rushes over. “Help! Please!” Within seconds multiple officers plow through the door, some almost running both you and Haechan over in their haste. “Please someone get me a water and damp towel. She just fell.” He orders the others.

“On it!” You hear one of them speak.

“You know who the man is don’t you?” Haechan asks you while you’re lifted off the floor and placed back in the chair. “Who is he?”

How can this be? You haven’t seen him in years. What was he doing at your house? Why was he at your house? And why is he dead?!

“Here’s the water!” The officer who left rushes over to you handing you the bottle but instead of taking it from him, he starts to freak out. “Ma’am, ma’am,” he gets down on his haunches trying to get you to respond. “Ma’am, please say something…”

“H…H…” you huff out the sound of the letter h.

“H?” He looks at Haechan who shrugs.

“He’s…He’s…” your body starts to tremble. “H-How?” You look at Haechan. “HOW?!” You scream as if you’re seconds from being killed – scaring Haechan, everyone in the room and those outside of it. “Why in the hell was he at our home? Why is he dead? How did he die?!!! What the fuck is going on?” You grab at the roots of your hair. “I dumped him!!!! I haven’t seen him since I left him?! Why the hell was he at my home?”

“He’s an ex?” Haechan glances down at the folder shocked.

“He never tried to contact me before. I never heard from him after I left him. Why was he at my house?” You ask Haechan, tears pouring from your eyes.

Scratching the back of his neck his eyes dart from the folder to you. “I believe I’m supposed to ask you that question.”

“Well how the fuck do I know?!” You scream once again – this time those not involved in the interrogation slowly start exiting the room, leaving Haechan alone to face your wrath. “Honestly,” your bottom lip quivers. “I haven’t seen him since I broke up with his cheating ass. There’s absolutely no reason for him to have been at my house. Hell, how did he even find me?!”

“There is a reason for him to have been at your house, and that reason is you. As to how he got there, I don’t know, did your parents meet him or something?”

“Yeah they met him once or twice in the later stages of our relationship. I thought he was going to be the one before I found him balls deep in some slut backstage.”

“Backstage?” Haechan raises a curious brow.

“He’s in a band, or was… I guess… When I saw him cheating on me I dumped him right then and there. I even cleared out his belongings from my apartment and left them at the front desk for him so I wouldn’t have to deal with him personally.”

“So you had an issue with him as well?”

Your head whips around towards Haechan, a furious glare in your eyes. Not again, not this time. He will NOT try to blame you for Michael’s death.

“Did I have an issue with him, yes I did. I was cheated on. I caught him in the act of cheating. I was pissed the fuck off – hence throwing his stuff into boxes and taking them down to the front desk. I didn’t hear from him after a simple apology note after a week of me catching him, with a simple ‘I’m sorry ~ Michael’ on it. I never once looked for him, or cared to look for him. But despite the dislike I have for him I would never wish any harm such as this to come to him. I swear, Haechan. I do not know why he was at our home.”

“I believe you,” he rubs the bridge of his nose. “But now we have a whole new set of problems. Why was he at your home in the first place? What happened to him prior to the fire before his death which appears to be smoke inhalation due to the fire. And where the fuck is Jaemin?”

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

Wiggling about in ecstasy on the couch, your hands at the bend of your knees while your legs are spread wide open for Jaemin – you let out whimper after whimper as he runs his fingers up and down your glistening folds. His eyes staring daggers into yours, he watches as you come undone before him.

“J-Jaemin,” you cry out. “Please!!!”

Snickering he brings his fingers up to his lips and one by one he slides his fingers into his mouth coating them in his saliva. When he’s finished he brings his fingers back down to your pulsating core and slides them over your sensitive nub.

“Does my baby need a little attention?” He asks you sweetly.

“Mmmm…” you respond, lips clenched tightly together.

With the flick of his middle finger he starts to toy with your clit. Closing your eyes tightly you do your best not to make a single sound that would wake your sleeping child. At night and his nap time are the only times the two of you manage to have time for yourselves. And while you were expecting a little quickie when your baby is asleep – the sensational feeling of Jaemin teasing and edging you has you thinking otherwise.

“Wow, look at this,” he grabs your attention. Holding up his hand he shows you how his fingers are now coated in your juices. “You’re so wet baby,” he smiles before popping each finger into his mouth. “So good,” he hums delightfully. “But I think you can do better, don’t you?”

“B-Better?” Your body starts to grow warm all over. The goosebumps you felt in the beginning have multiplied, your breathing starts to get faster turning into small pants. Your toes wiggle and curl the more he rubs his fingers over your bundle of nerves.

“Yes, a lot better, or should I say wetter?” He gives you the darkest smirk you’ve ever seen before plunging two of his fingers into you.

Your head and eyes roll back as your grip on your legs tighten. “Jae-Jaemin!!!” You squeak. Chucking with glee, he lowers his head down to your pulsing clit and slurps up all of your juices he’s caused to spill from you. “Shit!!!” You say a little too loudly.

“Shhh, baby, don’t wake him.” Jaemin warns. “I have another round planned for us during this break.” He smiles against you.

“Th-Then go easy on me, please…” you beg.

“I can’t do that, not when you’re this irresistible.”

And with that he dives down again smothering his face into your folds. His tongue and fingers working together at lightning speed to push you closer and closer to the edge. Your chest rises and falls quickly, your mouth hangs open as saliva trails down onto your chest. Small whimpers and moans keep coming from you the more Jaemin lapse over you and rams his fingers inside of you.

“Jae-Jae-Jae…” you can’t get out his whole name as your body starts to loosen up from your grip. Your hands unclenching from your knees has them lowering down to Jaemin, but with a quick reaction he catches one of your legs which causes you to stop.

Popping his head up for a second, his lips swollen and coated in your slick he gives your clit a little lick which has you clenching around his fingers. “Keep your legs up and open for me baby. As much as I wouldn’t mind being smothered by your thighs, I want to see your beautiful face when you cum, okay?”

“Shit!” You clench around his fingers once more.

“Tell me when I’ve found the spot, alright baby?”

“Mmmmmm…” you slide down further into the couch.

Curling his fingers inside of you, Jaemin feels around trying to find your most sensitive spot. Only having found it a few other times (purely by accident as he pounded his cock inside of you until you came around him) the exact location is still trying to be blueprinted. While one hand is coaxing you into bliss, his other hand hovers over your clit, his middle finger occasionally brushing against you.

“Jaemin!” You whine.

“Not until you tell me when I’ve gotten the right spot,” he pulls his fingers out of you, but not completely.

“WAIT!” You gasp, alarming him. “Slowly push them back in,” you instruct.

Doing as instructed, Jaemin pushes his fingers back inside of you until he feels your body shake below him. Not needing a word of confirmation he curls his fingers, and goes to town pushing you beyond your wildest dreams. In a matter of seconds you go from feeling wonderful, sweetly nestled into the couch – to scrambling to sit up a little, almost as if to get away while Jaemin’s fingers work you over from both inside and out.   

“Jae-Jae-Jae!!!” You start chanting. “Faster, faster!!!!!” Foregoing your clit, Jaemin holds onto his wrist and uses both his arms to shove his fingers inside of you. “Yes! Yes! Yes!!!” You scream behind your hand to keep your voice to a minimum.

Suddenly a burst from you has your eyes rolling to the back of your head, your body quivering and shaking. Your hands grip onto the couch while wet noises come from you and fill the room along with your panting.

“That’s my girl!!!!” Jaemin smiles proudly when he sees your pussy squirting, coating his forearm, fingers, shirt and lap. “I knew you could do it.”

As you come down from your high, Jaemin drinks up the remaining juices that drip from you before standing up. “Ready for round two?” He asks while unzipping his pants. Not saying a word you open your arms wide for him – inviting him into your space to do whatever he pleases. Sliding out of his jeans and briefs he runs his soaked fingers up and down his shaft while his bottom lip is trapped between his teeth. “Shit, baby…” he runs his other hand through his newly dyed blonde locks. “I could get off just staring at you like this.”

“No…” you pout and whine sitting up onto the couch. “I want you inside of me,” you pull him towards you, his hand moving away from his cock. “Deep,” you take hold of his length. “Deep,” you give the tip a little smooch. “Deep inside of me,” you state before wrapping your lips around him, sliding your mouth and tongue up and down his shaft coating it with your saliva.

“Fuck,” he curses. “Keep it up and I’ll need to eat you out again before I’m ready to go once more,” he chuckles.

Pulling back a sinister look on your face and a speck of mischief in your eyes you wiggle your tongue across the slit of his cock. “I wouldn’t be opposed to that.”

“Neither would I,” he pulls back from you, dipping down for a kiss. “But like you said so sexily, I want to be buried deep,” he starts moving down to you, your body moving away allowing him more space on the couch. “Deep,” he hikes up one of your legs while he settles in between them. “Deep inside of you,” he mumbles against your lips as he slides his cock inside of you.

Hissing at the feeling of entering you, he resituates himself until he’s comfortable. “We’ll need a third, fourth, and fifth round tonight.” He chuckles and starts to move in and out of you. “Fuck baby,” he smiles while ramming his hip into yours, your hands instinctively go to his wrists as you hold on tight. “You feel so good…” he grunts and starts moving faster driving you deeper and deeper into the couch.

Your hips meet every single thrust of his pushing both of you further into sensuous bliss…

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

Sitting in the car next to Jeno your mind races while your fingers are snagged between your teeth. What the hell is really going on? Your leg shakes nervously as the conversation with Haechan replays before your eyes again and again. Jaemin…He’s… but if he was why hasn’t he shown himself yet? If he was alive he wouldn’t just leave you and his son alone, right?

As you draw closer to your old neighborhood the memories of that fateful day start to replay before your eyes…

‘Babe,’ you call out to Jaemin who was upstairs in his office. ‘Can you come down here please?’

‘Mama, where are we going?’ Tiny little hands tug on your shirt.

‘Well, we’re going to have a little picnic so I can tell daddy some good news!’ You boop your son's nose.

‘What news?’

Playfully putting your hands on your hips, you puff out your cheeks. ‘Not so fast you little trickster. You’ll know when daddy knows.’

Mocking your pose he pouts. ‘But I wanna know now!’ He whines.

‘What do you want to know, little man?’ Jaemin swoops down picking him up and causing both of you to giggle.

‘Mama has a secret to tell us!’ He squeals with laughter as Jaemin throws him over his shoulder.

‘A secret? What is this secret?’ His brows wiggle.

Sighing you shake your head and turn to the picnic basket you have in your hands. ‘Like father like son,’ you wave both of them off. ‘I was hoping you could spare the afternoon for a nice picnic at the park. We can bring Nana and the boys with us too!’

Huffing behind you, you leap forward at the familiar growl of discontent from Nana. ‘Speak of the devil (literally…)’ You whisper under your breath.

‘I…’ Jaemin puts your son down, sighing. ‘Why don’t you go outside and play with Nana and the boys, okay buddy?’

‘Okay!’ He squeaks and pats his tiny lap. ‘Come on Nana, let’s go play!’

Rushing out of the kitchen you watch your son and the happiest demon dog to ever walk the face of the earth, gleefully leave out the front door to the front yard.

‘Babe, I can’t go out this afternoon. I’m expecting a call from a client. Is there any way we can reschedule?’

‘I thought that call wasn’t going to be until tonight,’ your shoulders start to slump forward. ‘Can’t you just bring your cell phone and step away when the call comes through?’

‘It’s a business call, you know I don’t take them on my personal phone. Plus, it’s an important call. I can’t exactly bring on a new client while our son is screaming –” as if knowing his cue both of you jump at the sound of your son's laughter coming through the opened door. ‘See,’ he points to the door. ‘I can’t have that going on.’

‘But I mean… not even for two hours? You can’t spare us two hours?’

Running an exasperated hand through his hair, he looks from you to the basket, to your son. ‘Really babe, I’d love to but I can’t… Not this time…’

‘I see…’ you turn from him and grab the picnic basket. ‘I guess we’ll just go and give you the evening to have your business call. We’ll be back after dark.’ You head out of the kitchen and into the living room.

‘Babe! Please!’ Jaemin shouts behind you. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘I understand, Jaemin.’ You wave him off. ‘Sweetie, head over to the car and I’ll meet you there.’ You shout to your son.

‘Why does daddy look sad?’ He stops immediately when he sees Jaemin’s solemn expression.

‘Daddy can’t join us, he has a very important phone call to make.’ You bend down to him and stroke the top of his head. ‘He said he’ll join us another day.’

‘B-But the sandwiches, the secret…’ he looks back at Jaemin. ‘Daddy we need to hear mama’s secret…’

Glancing at you, you quickly turn from Jaemin. ‘We’ll find out another time buddy. Don’t worry I’ll make sure mommy doesn’t forget.’

‘Promise?’ He walks up to Jaemin holding out his tiny pink finger.

‘I promise…’ Jaemin bends down to him and wraps his finger around his baby boy's finger. ‘Now, as the man I’m going to need you to protect your mom for me while we’re apart, okay?’ He asks. ‘If any strange person tries to approach her, what do you do?’

‘GET BACK YOU CREEPY MAN!!!!!!!’ Your son shouts loud enough to scare both you and Jaemin. ‘Right, daddy?!’ He asks proudly.

Holding back a laugh, you roll your eyes. ‘That’s right,’ he gives him a kiss on the cheek before standing up. ‘Really, I’m sorry. We’ll do this again soon, okay?’ His eyes quiver with uncertainty.

Nodding, you take hold of your little boy's hand. ‘Of course, I still have a secret to tell.’

‘I’ll see you when you get back sweetie,’ he wraps his arm around your waist bringing you in for a sweet kiss.

‘Maybe we’ll be back a little earlier than expected,’ you wink. ‘Okay, let’s get to the park before all the good swings are taken!’

‘YEAH!!!!!!!!’

‘Be safe!’ Jaemin shouts as you leave through the front door.

‘We will. We’ll be back in about two hours.’

‘I’ll be here!’ He waves before closing the door.

Just as you were heading for the garage you realize you left the bag that has a blanket and a few treats and toys for the dogs inside.

‘Sweetie, come back here for a second. Mommy forgot something inside.’ You call back to your son. He runs back up to you with the two boy dogs, Nana having walked into the home after you parted with Jaemin. ‘Do you remember where you left mommy’s bag with the blanket inside?’

‘I left it by the door.’ He points to the front door.

‘Okay we just need to –’

Shaking your head you stop the rest of that memory from resurfacing. In the matter of seconds a loud, powerful, gust of wind blasted through the door sending both you and your son back and the dogs running away. Covering him up with your body you kept him safe from what felt like a raging ball of fire spewing from inside of your home.

When you felt it was safe enough to move you told your little boy to run and to not look back, but you yourself looked back to see your beautiful home engulfed in a beastly fire. Tears poured down onto your face, your legs froze where you stood – your heart reaching out to where you knew Jaemin was still inside. Almost dragging you back to the fiery beast if not for your son’s small hand clenching your own – no one could have survived that… not even…

Pulling into his driveway Jeno parks his car, turns it off and immediately you hear a tired breath come from him. “What happened?” He turns to you. “What happened with Haechan? You’ve been eerily quiet since I picked you up. Did he say something? Or,” he pauses and gulps loudly. “Did he try to hurt you again?”

“Jeno,” you whisper quietly. “What are the odds of someone surviving that fire?”

Taken aback he takes off his seatbelt so he can turn to you. “What are you talking about? You were there… and I drove back a few days after. Your house is completely leveled. No one, not even Superman himself could have survived that fire.”

“The police found a body…”

“Yeah but we both knew that, remember? That’s why you were down there to talk about the body. Did they prove you didn’t do anything?” He takes hold of your hand worriedly. “Is this mess going to end?”

“Not even close,” slowly your head turns to Jeno, a wild look in your eyes. “The body they found wasn’t Jaemin’s. It was of Michael Krest…”

“Michael Krest, who the hell is that?”

“My ex-boyfriend.”

Jeno drops your hand from his ever so slowly as he leans back, his back now resting against his car door. “What the…”

“Jeno, I think Jaemin is alive… and I think… he had someone else trapped in that maze after me…”

Speechless, both you and Jeno sit in his car in an eerie silence. Both of your heads spinning out of control with the news that you’ve just found out and uttered. Jeno was right, no one could have possibly lived through that fire, hence Michael’s body. The real questions still remain: why was Michael at your home in the first place? Did Jaemin do something terrible to him? Did he lock him down in the maze as he did to you? What caused that explosion? Is Jaemin still alive and if so, how did he escape? Is Nana with him? If he did escape and is out there why hasn’t he come to get you and your son?

“We-We should get inside and you can tell me everything that happened at the precinct. Alright?” Jeno asks in a shaky voice. “None of this makes sense…”

“You’re telling me,” you sigh, undoing your seatbelt. “Haechan did say that he was going to stop by at the end of the week so maybe he’ll have found more information by then. I just… none of this makes any sense, Jeno. None of it…”

“I’m sorry,” he reaches out and places his hand on top of yours once more. “I’m sorry for everything he’s caused and is still causing. I should have said something years ago when I found out, but I…”

Shaking your head you pat the top of his hand. “It’s okay, I did this to myself. I chose him once, then hated him, chose him again, and now I just have question after question for him. Maybe when this is all said and done I’ll finally have all the answers to them, hopefully that is.”

“Yeah, hopefully...”

Jeno gets out of the car and quickly comes over to your side and opens the door for you, and helps you get out. Giving you a secure arm to lean against the two of you walk up to his house to find a piece of paper taped to his front door, with your name on it.

“Were you expecting someone?” Jeno asks, taking the paper and handing it to you while he opens the door.

“No,” you open it up. “I…”

Immediately all the blood drains from your face, and for the second time your knees give out and you fall to the ground.

“Yah!!!!” Jeno quickly grabs hold of you and pulls you back to your feet. “What happened? Are you okay? Here, let’s get you inside…”

“Jeno…” you start crying. “Jeno….”

“What happened? What hurts?” He leads you to the couch in his living room. Crouching down in front of you, he holds the side of your face in his hands as he looks at you terrified. “What is it?” Holding out the paper to him, it shakes and jiggles frantically in your grasp. “The note?” He asks. Taking it from you he opens it and just like you, the blood drains from his face and he falls back onto his butt on the floor. “What the fuck is going on?”

Rule 8, if the hunter finds himself incapable of being the hunter then the title of hunter goes to his former prey. When this change happens it is now the new hunters job to seek out the prey.

Come find me, hunter.

~ Jaemin

[bgarchivee]

jaemin (nct/nct dream)

[jenoddity]

[nanazluvs]

the category is: jaemin live screenshots

[kpopsexstories]

NCT Dream Dating Ban #7: Jaemin Pt. 2

NCT Jaemin can’t date girls. As his gay friend you help him out with his sexual needs. (Part 2 of 2)

Content Warning! This is a 100% gay smut story. Check out this post for my straight smut and this post for more gay smut.

Pairing: Top NCT Jaemin x Bottom male reader

Content: Jaemin fucks you in a forest

Type of Sex: MEDIUM/WILD

Word Count: 2.8k (6.1k incl. Part 1)

Previous parts in the NCT Dream 'Dating Ban' series: Jisung Pt. 1, Jisung Pt. 2, Haechan, Mark, Renjun Pt. 1, Renjun Pt. 2, Jeno Pt. 1, Jeno Pt. 2, Chenle, Jaemin Pt. 1.

“I'm so fucking horny,” Jaemin says and kisses your chest with his lips. You feel his hand on your thigh and put yours on his naked waist. The way he's leaning into you, rubbing his groin against your hip, is simply impossible to resist.

You’re both only in your soaked underwear. The sun is high in the sky above the tree tops. The lake has calmed itself since your playful swim in it.

Jaemin has just proclaimed his love for you, but he’s willing to settle for sex if that’s all you can give him. His feelings have conveniently left your mind already, and he is hard and ready to take you.

He suddenly pulls away from you. “I got this from Jisung,” he says while sitting up to reach into his bag.

You laugh when he pulls out a tube from the depth of his backpack. “When?” you ask and giggle.

“I went to him when you went to the bathroom, after you asked me if we could go to the lake.”

“Wait. In the half hour between me asking you and when we started biking, you already knew we'd have sex today?”

Jaemin looks at you with puppy eyes. He doesn’t answer. Then he smirks and shakes the tube in front of you. “It's almost empty.”

“What can I say? Jisung and I have been busy. He's gotten quite good actually.”

“I know,” Jaemin says. “We all do.”

He doesn’t seem upset about it, but by bringing it up you’ve just taken you both out of the peaceful mind the lake has put you in.

“Have you ever been with a man before?” you ask, thinking that if he had he would surely have told you about it.

Jaemin doesn’t answer that either. When he returns to your body and his fingers find the seams of your wet underwear, you decide that it’s time to let it go. If he wants sex, just as the other boys of NCT Dream all have, then you will give it to him. You've neglected him all week and feel like you owe him that at least.

He begins to pull the underwear over your hip, and it takes you a second to realize what is happening. When you do, you lift your ass to help him and quickly become as hard as the ground you're laying on.

The dick catapults free. Jaemin looks at it with lust and admiration. His lips return to your chest and stomach, and soon they find the head and shaft.

“Mm, yeah,” you moan when he begins to lick and suck it. He takes it all the way in his mouth. “Ahh, fuck!”

Jaemin looks up and smirks. He takes the dick out, his wet lips gliding along the head as it popps out. “I've been wanting to do this for a long time,” he says. “Dating ban or no.”

You can't deny that so have you. While you're good friends, and you've never seriously even considered the possibility, it's always been at the back of your mind. The man is incredibly sexy, and if you were to pick just one person from NCT Dream to have sex with, he might just be the one.

“Can I fuck you?” he asks while holding your shaft next to his face. “Please?”

You playfully roll your eyes. “Alright,” you say, then abruptly attack his body with your hands.

You're standing butt naked with your arms against a tree and your legs slightly spread. Jaemin has positioned himself right behind you, plowing his dick into your ass.

“Ahh, fuck yeah!” he moans and giggles, as if he's been wanting this forever and is giddy and excited to finally get it.

You chuckle at his violent and joyous pleasure, then grimace and groan when the dick is jammed deep inside you.

His groin hitting your ass cheeks repeatedly sends an echo across the lake. The clasping sounds of your bodies slapping together is unmistakable, but you aren’t worried. In the years you’ve come to this off-the-path place in the forest you’ve yet to see another soul.

You clutch on to the tree a little harder, while you feel Jaemin's hands hold tight around your hips. His hard dick fills up your hole and the sensation is beautiful.

“Mm, ahh, yeah!” he repeats behind you while he lifts an arm, stretches it long and puts it on your shoulder. “Ahh, fuck yeah!” You can hear the huge grin on his face.

You arch your back and stick your ass out further. He pushes and pulls your body onto his length. “Ah, yeah, fuck you feel good!”

Jaemin's speed increases. He stops moaning and holds his breath. Your body shakes violently against the tree, and you use your arms and hands to protect yourself from the hard and pointy bark.

“Wait, slow down,” you suddenly say, not because of the pain but because you really want to enjoy this. You’re by yourselves outdoors, in the middle of nowhere. The other boys aren’t around to interrupt your alone time. You can be free, naked, and it feels pretty exciting. Of course you want to make the most of it.

Jaemin slows his thrusts until he comes to a complete stop and pulls out. He takes a step away from you and you turn around to face him. You leap into his arms and kiss him lovingly on the lips.

“What was that for?” he asks and giggles.

“I love you,” you say with a smirk.

“Stop it!” he exclaims and laughs out loud.

You proceed to make out on the forest floor, standing in each other's arms while groping and caressing your bodies. Your dicks rub together, horny and pleasured by the touches and sensual motions.

“I love you,” you repeat and smile wide. “Maybe not in the way you had hoped, but I love you with all my heart. I hope that’s enough.”

Jaemin smiles back at you. “I know,” he says softly. “I’ll always love you too. And that is enough.”

You playfully grab his ass cheek and squeeze it, while pulling his whole body sideways. You both start to laugh in between passionate kisses, as you turn and fall to the ground.

Jaemin ends up on his back and you sit down on top of him. The sun is shining hot on your back as you plant your hands on his chest and stroke it.

It feels good. Soft and smooth, yet flexing and hard. You slowly begin to roll your hips, and reach down and find his dick. You raise your ass and guide it into position, before you lower yourself back onto his shaft.

“Ahhh,” you sigh deeply and throw your head back. Jaemin's hands are all over your thighs and stomach.

“Mmm,” he moans softly, when the dick slides inside and you begin to bounce up and down.

You ride him for several minutes, jumping and rolling your ass on his organ. For a moment his look becomes distant and you briefly wonder if you're making a terrible mistake.

Are you toying with his emotions? Are you putting obstacles like jealousy in the way of your friendship? Will today change things between you for the worse?

Your worries quickly go away when Jaemin’s face twists and he lets out a heavy groan.

“Uff,” he sighs loudly. “Mm, fuck!”

You bonce your ass a little faster, pleasing the full length of his cock which slides repeatedly in and out of your ass.

“Ahh, mmm,” he repeats with his eyes closed, his hands holding tighter around your thigh and waist.

“Yes, ride me!” he exclaims and his eyes shoot open. He wants to see you, all of you.

You sense his body stiffening and can see his muscles flexing. His broad shoulders and narrow waist, and his cute face. He looks great from this angle the way he thrusts eagerly into your hole.

Then sun suddenly hits his eyes when it breaks through a new place in the tree tops. You move your body slightly to the side to protect him from the strong rays.

The shift causes him to roll sideways, taking your whole body down with him. Your giggles return as you make out, his dick still deep inside you.

You end up on your back on the ground beside the blanket. Jaemin is towering over you and quickly reaches out to move his backpack out of the way.

You don't care about the hard and pointy forest floor. The sensation of Jaemin's pulsing dick is stronger, as are his arms as you caress them, and the intense lust and desire in his eyes and movements. They're all you can feel and think about in this moment.

You spread your legs wide as he lays down on top of you, resting his head beside your chin. You stroke his warm back and raise your knees around him, while he pushes his dick slowly but repeatedly into your ass.

“Hold me,” he whispers by your ear.

You squeeze your arms tighter around his smooth back.

”Touch me,” he says.

You move your hands in wider strokes all along the side of his body.

“Fuck me,” you say and he begins to thrust his hips a little faster.

You move your hand down to his ass and squeeze the cheek again. The muscle inside it becomes hard and tense.

Jaemin giggles. He seems to love all of this. To him this isn’t just physical. It’s deeply emotional, and you’ve got to admit that the feelings in his heart are rubbing off on you.

You kiss his temple while he buries his nose and lips in your neck. You listen to his muffled panting while his body rocks faster. Small, yet rapid pulls of his full length over yours.

He feels amazing to hold. You run your fingers along his spine and dig into his skin. He lifts his head to kiss your lips, then rest his forehead against yours.

“Fuck, yes, you feel so good!” you exclaim loudly. His feel his ass again and the cheeks tense and relax alternately. Your bodies move in a steady rhythm and a sweat is building up between your stomachs.

He suddenly pushes up on his arms, his broad and sexy chest and shoulders towering over you. You pull your knees up by his side and spread them wide, and your fingers gently hold his narrow waist.

He spreads his thighs slightly for a deeper penetration. His whole body jolts repeatedly, sliding along the ground while his ass moves up and down. The dick inside you is reaching its breaking point, as are you the way it suddenly hits the right spot at this angle.

“Oh, fuuck!” you almost scream. “Yes, Jaemin, fuck my ass!”

Jaemin's face crumbles as he grinds his teeth and shuts his eyes hard. A drop of sweat falls down his chin and lands just under your eye which causes you to twitch.

Your nails are leaving marks on his skin the way they occasionally dig into his side, especially when you slide them up and down his waist and reach behind his lower back to push his cock deeper.

“Aahh, fuck yeah, fuck me Jaemin, fuck my ass!”

He grabs the back of your thigh, pushing your leg and knee down on yourself. You almost bend in half and swiftly move your hand around his body to grab your dick. You stroke it, fast and hard, matching his violent and lustful thrusts that push your body harder into the piercing ground.

Your inner thighs are going numb from the repeated jamming of his body against them, but on the inside you’re experiencing and immense pleasure. As is Jaemin, who suddenly jolts and let's out a loud, passionate grunt.

“Uff, mmm, uuughn!” he bellows.

“Yes, fuck my ass!” you say and stroke your cock furiously.

“Mmm, fuck!” he exclaims and jolts again.

Then you orgasm. Your load shoots across your stomach and trickles down your hand. You ease your grip around your dick, and slowly lower your legs to the ground.

Jaemin is panting heavily above you, his breaths slowing down with each deep gulp for air. “Holy shit,” he blurts out and collapses in your arms.

You giggle as the sweat and sperm makes him glide on your chest and stomach. Jaemin's whole body moves up and down in your arms, his lungs filling and emptying repeatedly.

“Holy shit,” you echo and smile wide, spreading the sweat on his back as you caress him lovingly in the sun. You feel his ass cheeks one last time, which are now soft and relaxed.

“That was incredible,” Jaemin whispers in your ear. His voice is strained and he struggles to say the words.

“Yeah,” you confirm and squeeze, while his dick is growing slack inside you.

Jaemin moans when your hole tightens around his shaft. Slowly, he starts to sit up and pull out.

You sit up with him, leaning on your elbow. “I can't give you what you want,” you say and look at him with compassion. Then you pull him closer. “But I really do love you.”

“I know,” Jaemin says and smiles softly, then leans in to give you a kiss. “Don't worry. I've long since accepted that reality.”

You scoot back onto the blanket and lay down on your side. Jaemin sits beside you and help you clean your back, which is riddled with sticks and pointy needles again.

When he’s down you lay on your back on the blanket and smile at him. He comes to lay with you, wrapping a leg over yours and resting his head on your chest. You stroke his back and stare at the leaves fluttering in the a gentle wind high above your heads.

“This is nice,” Jaemin says softly. He’s drawing little circles around your nipple and his head moves slowly up and down with your breaths.

“Yeah,” you whisper and close your eyes. “Real nice.”

*****

The bike ride home feels much easier and goes a lot quicker. Not in actual time but in your mind. You talk and laugh as you ride back to the city, leaving the lake and forest behind. It's like you've cleared the air of something and discovered a new depth to your friendship. You’re both glowing in the aftermath of your sexual adventure.

When you reach the apartment building and get off your bike you suddenly feel different inside. Melancholic, a little sad. Your excursion is over, and that means your trip as a whole is almost over too. Tomorrow you're going home.

You certainly don't want to. You'll miss Jaemin, and your best friend Jisung, and the other boys. You've gotten a lot closer to all of them this week.

When you pull the bikes onto the sidewalk you spot Haechan walking in your direction, returning home just as you are. His face lights up when he sees you.

“Hey!” he exclaims and comes in to give you a big hug.

“Hi,” you say and smile wide.

At the same time, Johnny suddenly comes out of the building. He seems to be in a rush.

“Hello,” he says and waves. “Who's this?” he asks and points at you.

“Jisung's friend,” Jaemin says.

You laugh out loud and slap him on the shoulder. “I'm your friend too. You don't always have to tie me to Jisung.”

Johnny has no time to chat though and is soon out of sight, as he quickly turns a corner on the street. Considering that they all live in the same building and that you’ve known the Dream boys for years, it’s surprising that you’ve never met most of their friends from 127. Perhaps one day you’ll spend more time with them.

You ride the elevator up with Jaemin and Haechan, to the floor of the Dream dorm. Just one more floor and you'd be at the 127 dorm. Maybe next time, you think.

For now though, as your last day is coming to an end, it's all about Jisung and Jaemin and all your other friends. You smile as you enter Jisung's room and begin to undress, to change from the sweaty clothes of the excursion. One last meal together, an evening in good company, and one final night in Jisung's bed.

You stop and glance at the tangled, unmade sheets. It's really been a great week. The feelings of melancholia intensify as you reflect on all that’s happened. At least you’ll probably have sex with Jisung one more time before you depart.

Fuck! you suddenly think when a thought crosses your mind. I forgot to buy more lube.

Maybe Renjun has some that you can borrow.

[thatsatricky1]

𝐏𝐨𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Idol Na Jaemin x (f) Reader

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: Angst, addiction, no happy ending.

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2,4k

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Alcohol, addiction, mentions of death.

𝐈𝐭 hadn’t meant to spiral out of control, it was just supposed to be one drink. Just something to relieve his stress when others weren’t around.

“You really need to start realising what you’re doing is not good for yourself Jaemin. At this point it's not just concerning anymore it’s out right blatant for anyone to see you’re not okay. You’ll die on this hill.

But that’s just it, you wont for the life of yourself except help, you continue to push everyone away, you’re pushing away your support system. You don’t want it anymore? Fine, just remember you dug your grave, now lay in it.”

That was the last conversation he’d had with her, her last words with him. When it happened he wasn’t even in his right mind to process Y/n’s words, then again he hadn’t been in months. The irony of her words would come back to haunt him daily.

Na Jaemin was an idol, and being an idol was no easy feat. It was a constant struggle with many hardships he endured for the fact he loved what he did at the end of the day. He loved performing, it was what he thought he was meant to do in life.

But artists needed something to grasp an anchor themselves down with. Many sought this with their group members, with lovers, with music itself. Na Jaemin had thought Y/n was his anchor from the start. He’d known you before being a trainee, before debuting, before becoming an idol. She was his constant.

Though at the end of the day she couldn’t always be on wait and call for him, she had her own life she needed to live as well. And god was he happy that she pursued her dream of becoming a doctor like he’d done with becoming an idol. But lovers with both very time consuming and hard jobs was something that came with a lot of limitations.

Jaemin didn’t start drinking with the intention of it becoming a problem, of course no one does. But it did become a problem. Affecting every area of his life. Alcohol was a poison and it had unknowingly poisoned so many important things in his life. And of course it had been her who would see the signs long before anyone else.

It was just an innocent way of relieving stress at first, when no one was around, when his members, his closest friends were on schedule and when you were at work no doubt having to do another shift to flu season or lack of employees. He just wanted to explore the wonderful tastes and differences alcohol had to offer.

To Jaemin he had decided one drink wouldn’t be bad to relieve stress.

Before long he craved that deliciously addictive burning feeling that would run down his throat, as fast as he could. Going from mixed drinks and beers to drinking them with straws to get that tantalising floating through his body faster to plain out downing hard liquor.

It was obvious he had a genuine problem, especially when his members told him to slow down, to maybe skip the bottle of whiskey for a night. Did he listen? Of course not, why would he when they didn’t truly understand just how amazing alcohol could be. No one got it like he did.

It affected his work life, somehow he learned and trained his body to be able to continue with practice, to perform as if he wasn’t seeing double, to get that pesky lisp to disappear while talking to a camera. But that didn’t mean behind the scenes he was, no he embraced the feeling that was being drunk.

Most mornings he wouldn’t even remember what he’d done the day before. He’d performed on stage for their new comeback? All he did was check to make sure his hair had looked good before getting up to make a nice warm cup of tea with a shot of whiskey to help sooth his early start to the morning.

Then came the cancellations. The boys wanted to do something outside of scheduled work? Was it a private bar? No? Then he’d pass, claiming he was busy with Y/n when in fact he’d be drowning in his own addiction while she was off at work on a late shift.

Y/n and he had dates? Important anniversaries? Some alone time? No he’d cancel last minute claiming overtime at work, that the boys wanted to go out and do something fun or one time he’d even excused it as him just simply not being in the mood, it had been their fourth year anniversary that day not that he remembered when he was too busy thinking of how long the liquor store would be open on a Monday night.

It came to a point he couldn’t just hide it, his performances sloppy, his lisp on full display that’s when the company made him go on hiatus with some short worded twitter and website posts about Jaemin needing recovery time for overworking.

But that didn’t matter. It meant he finally had time to just fully relax, what could be better than a cool glass of beer and his favourite girl by his side? But he realised she was often at work so he had to busy himself at home doing something, which always ended in drinking. Ending in her coming home to a messy house, having to drag Jaemin to bed once cleaned up before straightening the apartment out and finally getting the limited amount of sleep she needed herself.

It was too much, she couldn’t watch him waste away like that. Not because she herself was a doctor which was a small factor in it but because he was her lover, her one and only. She’d seen enough alcohol addictions turn south in her ward, she dreaded and feared for the day she’d be working and see Jaemin being rolled in.

She tried her hardest to get through to him, tried every route possible but it was like talking to a brick wall, A brick wall that swayed and fumbled. Jaemin not giving in to everyone’s pleas, including hers. Not noticing how much it was affecting the ones he loved most just as much as it affected him in the long run.

Being put on hiatus hadn’t been his wake up call, his band members and closet friends hadn’t been his wake up call and internally even he thought Y/n would not be enough for a wake up call. But he’d soon get slapped by reality, a stinging feeling that felt quite horrible in contrast to the sting of tequila.

Y/n was his constant. Forever and always is what he’d ingrained into himself. Until it wasn’t. Your last conversation being held in your shared space, Jaemin struggling to sit upright against the plush sofa with a red stained cushion next to him where he’d lost motor function of his hand he’d been drinking a dry Merlot from.

This wasn’t the first time she’d broken down on him about his addiction and he thought nothing of it. In a few minutes once she’d cooled off, Y/n would be back to take care of him and send him off to bed holding him tightly against her frame while they drifted off to sleep.

Instead he’d woken up the next day face pressed against the now dry stained cushion, a stain he’d never get out. Alone in the apartment with Lucy begging for breakfast. Luna and Luca, both still fast deep asleep. No sign of his girlfriend around. He’d brushed it off, maybe she’d taken up an early shift to less employees again, it was flu season after all.

Y/n didn’t come home that day, nor the next following few days, and in his drunken state he’d managed to slink back to the dormitory to question his friends. The ones who’d expected his visit, the ones who broke the news.

His slurred questions only met with an obvious reality he hadn’t even let become an option in his mind. She had left him. His girl from start to now, was gone. That wasn’t right, it couldn’t be. It was supposed to be from start to finish with them retired and living a quiet life at the end.

At first his response was to only get worse, to drown it all out. The guilt, the heartache, the obvious fact the alcohol he was using to drive those feelings out was the very reason he’d driven her out of his life.

He isn’t quite sure when he finally accepted reality but it came in the form of breaking down in front of his friends, tears soaking into Jeno’s jumper as Renjun had a plastic bowl on hand worried the drunken man would vomit with how hard he was crying, the liquor coursing through his veins no help as he dry heaved.

The company continued to disguise Jaemin’s lack of appearances and hiatus in the form of recovering his body from overworking. When in fact he was stuck in rehab. Finally facing the painful addiction he’d tried so hard to pretend didn’t exist, that it hadn’t been a problem.

It had taken so long and even then it was just the first week that was hell for him, it had taken months for him to adjust to a liquor free lifestyle, to stay sober. But in that time he learned and tried his best to reconnect with his band members, they were his best friends, they were his brothers. Being successful in that area even if it had taken a lot of effort on both their sides.

His main motivation was set in four factors; His family, his second family which was his members, his love for his job and Y/n.

It got him through the worst parts of rehab, never realasping like he’d dreaded would happen. He pushed himself to be better. His members visiting helped most. He understood and respected them when they would talk about her when he asked. Y/n was just as much a friend to them, they’d known her for years through Jaemin.

In reality the boys feared Jaemin relapsing if he knew. The news surely would break all progress he’d made. And when Jaemin finally left the rehab centre they’d managed to stay clear of her as a topic.

He’d been welcomed warmly back to work by his fans, unbeknownst to them their kind words meant so much to him considering the difficult hardship he was still living with. He missed his kittens, which had been well taken care of by the boys in his absence but he missed her too, of course he did when she had been his constant. Coming back to an empty apartment had been hard, but it was something he had to accept.

Jaemin had been so confused on getting back on track he’d missed all the signs yet again. This time for something else, something that would never fully click in his head. And the way he found out was truly bittersweet as it was heartbreaking.

Seeing her mother was like a flood of emotions, seeing Y/n’s mother would welcome him with tight hugs and cute self made gifts every Christmas. She’d been at the markets, no doubt bargaining for something. He didn’t mean to but he couldn’t help but go over to her.

Jaemin craved answers even if he wasn’t particularly deserving of them. Where was she? Did she still work at the same hospital? Had she gone through with going back to study further? Has she moved on? But most importantly how was she doing?

He wasn’t ready to see her mother turn to look at him first with plain distaste and what he could only assume was a mothers fury. But it dimmed down only pity lingering in those familiar eyes, her eye colour being given down to Y/n.

The moment the words had left her lips, it was like Jaemin’s entire world had spun around leaving him dangling helplessly just like before he’d been finally shoved into rehab. He didn’t care that he was a public figure in that moment when he’d broken down on the street, even her mothers soothing words and motherly hug couldn’t fight away his despair.

He had been tempted more than ever after that to down anything with a high enough percentage of alcohol to make him forget that day, yet he refrained from doing it. Y/n would have been so disappointed in him if he had when he’d come so far.

Even when he sat on the cold still wet grass months later he hadn't taken even as much as a sip, keeping to his sobriety. Much to everyone’s surprise. Though he did have an alcohol beverage in his hand at that moment, thumb digging repetitively in the cap.

“If it wasn’t for this, I would have had more time with you.” He couldn’t even manage to utter the sentence above a whisper, his words muted by the wind brushing through the trees.

“Maybe it would have never happened, instead that day we would have been doing something like having some stupid movie in the background, cuddled up on our sofa with the kittens fighting for a place on our laps like they used to.”

His eyes finally looked ahead instead of being stuck on the liquor bottle. Eyes tracing over words he knew by heart now.

“We were supposed to be a constant in one another’s lives, I thought at first you slipped away but I realise now it was me who left you first, and i regret it everyday.”

Jaemin hated it, she’d been his past and supposed to be his future too. So many things they’d wanted in future, that he’d wanted. He’d never see her dressed in white walking towards him to seal it with two meaningful metal bands wrapped around their fingers, never see a soft glow on your face with a swollen tummy and constant cravings, never get to have children with her that would look just like them, never grow old with her.

Getting up was always the hard part, leaving her everyday only to return the very next day. Though as usual he did, standing up and tossing yet another unopened bottle of liquor into the trash, eyes lingering on her one more time before eventually walking down the gravel path.

When he left rehab he’d imagined meeting her again, starting new. That wasn’t possible anymore, not when she’d passed away right in the middle of his rehab stay. Instead the only time he’d be able to visit her was staring at that stone. He hadn’t even been able to be present for her funeral.

All because he’d decided one drink wouldn’t be bad to relieve stress.

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𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @rotinyzen @wonyoungmywife @snflwrhaerecs4u @thegreenlynx @serinebsblog @delululi @molensworld @morkiee @marvelahsobx @kaciebello @kgneptun @bluedbliss @haechansbbg @officiallyjaehyuns @bunnychui @audreybub

(This Taglist is used for all my nct context so if you’d like to be tagged in my nct content please comment or write to me to be added)

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: Okay so I found this oneshot I wrote ages ago in my docs and it’s like 3am now so I thought why not just post it. It’s probably got a few spelling mistakes here and there but I can fix those up later.

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭:

⤻ Tap