#said she was just depressed
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PSA
#this is NOT about any of my followers/mutuals#this is NOT about people who are talkinv to their friends less because they're actually tired/busy/depressed#this isnt even about perceived abandonment due to abandonment issues when really your friends still like you#this post is about a SPECIFIC trend#where someone will lie to you and say nothing has changed in yalls relationship when it is CLEAR theyve lost interest#ex: i once had a boyfriend who got really quiet and distant and when i asked what was up he would tell me nothing was up#nothing had changed and he still loved me#he broke up with me two weeks later. turned out her was cheating on me the whole time#ex 2: a good friend stopped talking to me almost entirely. i ask whats up. he said nothings up and we're still best friends#he had a girlfriend! and now that he had a girlfriend he didnt want to talk to me anymore#one day he just quietly stopped responding all together. without ever admitting anything was different or wrong#ex 3: all the friends i had in middle school that would swear up and down they wanted to hang out#before shooting down every single hang out plan i ever made until i just gave up#ex 4: the friends in middle school who BLOCKED ME without ever letting me know and would still hang out with me during school#ex 5: my friends boyfriend who all the sudden barely texted her ever and when she asked why he said he was busy or tired or depressed#and that he'd start texting her more#he never did#AND HE WAS CHEATING ON HER THE WHOLE TIME#ex 6: my friends girlfriend who used to text her all the time and all the sudden nothing#said she was just depressed#turns out she has a new girlfriend!#this post is NOT ABOUT people who are legitimately tired or busy or depressed!!!!#its about people who practice quiet quitting with friendships#to reiterate#IF YOU DO THIS YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE#and you need to be honest with the people in your life and stop wasting everyone's time
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At the end of Everything, hold onto Anything
#woaghh heyy guess who got immensely fucked up by the silly depressed cat game#man. i can only sing this game’s praises i loved everything abou it#spoiler territory now for my friends who want to experience blind#stop reading now#SPOILER#when mae goes on her monologue towards the end it hit me like a jackhammer#i was reading and when she got to that line that was like#i want it to hurt. because that means it meant something#I KID YOU NOT I LET OUT THE LOUDEST SOBBING AND COULDNT RESUME FOR LIKE#TEN MINUTES#and altho i experienced a hell of a lot of emotions that made my chest constrict#i also felt like i was breathing easier after she said that??#im in a very weird stage in my life with my emotions and just my general well being#so that entire monologue really hit a chord and resonated deeply and i apprciated jt#and now im thinking about it a LOT lol#okay enough of my ramblings haha good game i need to play it again and subject my friends to it#night in the woods#nitw#mae borowski#every time i type mae i accidentally hit the r instead of the e and i panic#LMAO
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bobby & david kennedy
“There was some level on which David tapped his father’s sensitivity. You would find him walking with David or with his arm around David. David just seemed to need it.”
— chuck mcdermott.
“If his father’s death hit David harder than the others, it was because there had been a special bond between them—both were the runts of the litter, sandwiched into the middle of a large family. He was the only one in the family who hadn’t been enthusiastic about the run for the presidency. For weeks after his father’s announcement, David had been plagued by recurring nightmares about Bobby’s death. Distraught over episodes that seemed premonitory, and missing the special attention his father had given him, David had gotten in trouble for throwing rocks at cars passing by Hickory Hill. The day of the California primary, he had joined his father in Los Angeles. The two of them had been swimming and he had felt himself being carried out by the undertow when his father grabbed him, scraping his own head on the ocean floor as he reached for David’s slippery arm. With a teenager’s melodrama, David had decided that he owed his father a life and would look for an opportunity to pay him back in the years ahead. That night as he sat in front of the television set in his room in the Ambassador Hotel and watched [his father] bleeding on the floor downstairs, one of the thoughts he had was that the debt would be forever undischarged.”
“As the worst year of their young lives came to a close, they decided to surprise their mother at Christmas with a book comprised of letters about their father. David’s said: ‘Daddy was very funny in church because he would embarrass all of us by singing very loud. Daddy did not have a very good voice. There will be no more football with Daddy, no more swimming with him, no more riding and no more camping with him. But he was the best father there ever was and I would rather have him for a father for the length of time I did than any other father for a million years.”
— the kennedy’s, peter collier & david horowitz.
“David looked at himself in those pictures like they were a strange sort of mirror. He looked at them half a dozen times at least, mesmerized by them, and he kept asking me questions. There was a tremendous desire to know his father, to really know him.”
— john seigenthaler.
“David and Bobby were so close. They were inseparable. David was small, a runt like Bobby had been.” Ethel then explained to Noelle (her secretary) that David had always been a very sensitive youngster, very introverted, "not like the other boys. He and I would go and pick flowers while his brothers were killing each other with their crazy games", Ethel recalled with a smile.
— ethel kennedy.
“I think about death a lot. Time hasn’t erased the death of my father from my mind. My family thinks I’m no good and that I’ll never beat my problem. They’ve written me off. I’m trying to get it together, but it’s so difficult. I’m having a terrible time at it. And the thing I want most in the world is the approval of my family, but they want nothing to do with me. All I want is to be with my father.”
— david kennedy, april 1984.
“Like his family, his friends had all wondered at one time or another if he would kill himself; but when it finally came his death was nonetheless shocking. ‘I keep asking myself why. Why David? Why now? All I can come up with is that maybe his father was looking down from heaven and saw all the hell these people were putting him through and said, ‘Come on, You’ve suffered enough. It’s time you were up here with me.’”
— nancy narleski.
Years after David Kennedy’s death, his cousin, Patrick Kennedy recalled a haunting and heartbreaking recollection he had with his father, Teddy, sitting beside his cousin’s casket: “My father remembered Bobby telling him that, as a father, he needed to spend more time with David. He also recounted a story Uncle Bobby had told him just before his own death. On the day before the California primary, the Robert Kennedys had gone swimming in Malibu, to relax together. David had been knocked over by a wave and got caught in the undertow, and his father had come to his rescue. When Uncle Bobby told my father this story, he talked about ‘the undertow’ in broader terms, how there was an undertow in life and David, who was only then thirteen, already seemed vulnerable to it. And then, just hours later, Uncle Bobby was murdered as David watched the TV coverage in their hotel room upstairs. It was unbelievably poignant to hear my father tell this story. David was in the casket next to us. And I wasn’t that much older than David when his father worried whether he could survive the undertow.”
#the fifth photo where he’s caressing david’s cheek …..#every time i think about bobby & david my heart cracks a little#the way that he was iced out by the kennedy's bc of his drug addiction is so heartbreaking. but is it surprising? not really#ofc i understand that trying to help someone with an addiction is never easy and warrants a whole other conversation#i remember reading ab how kathleen tried to help as she was the oldest but other ppl in the family dissuaded her from it after a while#chris lawford talked ab how eunice once got him out of trouble but was incredibly angry at how the family had neglected their own children#said something about how 'we're so good at taking care of other ppl's problems but absolutely awful at looking after our own'#so i'm moreso side-eyeing ppl like rfk jr who actively benefitted in painting david as the black sheep#or just Didn't Care bc it reflected badly on them.#david was made to feel unimporant in the family when anyone who met him said he was Always the brightest of bobby’s children#which made his downward mental spiral all the more tragic to those sympathetic to him#and it kind of kills me bc he really was so much like Bobby who grew up only ever wanting his family’s love and approval#who as a young man was also so angry at the world & depressed but then was slowly sucked out of its intensity bc of ethel’s love and suppor#and because he found purpose through fatherhood and public service#but david never had the opportunity to have those things or that type of support#not after he lost his father who he felt was the only one who understood & cared for him and gave him that support#david later revealed to peter collier & David Horowitz that his brothers even called him a traitor which had left him in tears#and he was only further ostracized by the family for talking to those biographers and telling them the actual truth#moral of the story: bobby and david kennedy deserved better#rfk#bobby kennedy#david kennedy#kennedy family
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(grape depression spoilers)
UHM OKAY WAIT
IN GRAPE DEPRESSION
ALESSANDRA (the blue fairy) SAYS PINNOCHIO WILL JUST BE A DEAD KID.
WHEN HE DIES AND TURNS TO WOOD HE REFERENCES THIS.
HE HEARD.
PINNOCHIO HEARD THIS. HE HEARD THE FAIRY SAY HE WAS “a bit sh**“ AND HEARD HER SAY HIS DEATH WOULDNT MATTER BECAUSE GEPPETTO ALREADY HAS A DAUGHTER AND A VINYARD.
THIS POOR CHILD.
HE ALSO HEARD HIS FATHER’S DISTRESS AT THE IDEA OF LOSING HIM BUT HE HEARD HIM STILL NOT MAKE A DECISION.
NOW IM WONDERING HOW MUCH ELSE HE OVERHEARD. WHAT IF HE KNEW HE DIED. WHAT IF HE JUST SAID HE JUST “had a little sleep” TO COMFORT HIS FATHER.
WHAT IF HE FEELS RESPONSIBLE FOR MAKING EVERYONE FEEL OKAY ALL THE TIME. WHAT IF HE FEELS GUILTY.
#shoot from the hip#the grape depression#yes I know that he said “he” when talking about the fairy but#1. Tom might have just said it referring to Sam (but he still said it with pinnochio’s voice so I’m counting it)#2. What if Alessandra goes be he/she that would be iconic#ANYWAY#sfth headcanons#I love reading into improv comedy and making it way angstier than intended <3#sfth spoilers
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Rory on Jess + text posts (seasons 4 & 6 edition) | (season 2 edition) (season 3 edition) (AYITL bonus edition)
#literati#rory gilmore#jess mariano#rory x jess#jess x rory#gilmore girls#text posts#roryonjess#textpostsedit#*#that’s all folks!#the last installment of the “Rory on Jess” series#just a little project to gather evidence of how much Rory loved and desired Jess#and how important he’s always been to her#this one was more depressing than funny though#s4 Literati scenes were just Rory looking at Jess with a flabbergasted expression#remember when you said there was just something about not quite knowing what the other person’s gonna do at all times Rory?#how do you feel about that now? 👀#on another note she knew what she was doing when she told Logan that she and Jess were “old friends”#and apparently Logan did too 😂
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SO glad that this woman does fingerguns and is awkward GOD SHE IS SO ME
#not included: overly positive until she breaks and getting easily picked on for being a tryhard to get pomni to be comfortable and like her#don’t get me started on the implications that she’s ‘soft’ and has no ‘backbone’#(literally filled with just stuffing and can get impaled without physical consequences)#*points at her* MASKED DEPRESSION!!! GIRL LIKER!!!#also her voice lowkey reminded me of luz from toh in these moments????#and like pearl from su when she was more freaked out#i LOVE that for me#glitch rlly said: haha hey kat this is YOU#tadc#tadc spoilers#the amazing digital circus#ragatha#kat is dumb
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T'Pring and Stonn from the @startrekswimsuitspecial
#T'Pring#Stonn#T'Pring/Stonn#star trek#tos#st tos#star trek tos#'Ready to go home?'#bea art tag#As the world drags me kicking and screaming into the Depression Month I look into my locket (where I've put Summer for safekeeping)#Anyway. I love T'Pring so much - thinking about her again bc I saw a post that said it would have been more logical for T'Pring#to just have sex with Spock. I disagree!!! Since her goal was not to have sex with or marry Spock. In fact she was fighting#for any way NOT to do that! So it would have been quite illogical indeed!#You the audience who loves Spock might think 'why didn't T'Pring just be pragmatic and have sex with this essential stranger every#seven years for the rest of their lives? It's a win win bc Spock stays alive without having to fight Kirk and T'Pring gets all the money an#power she desires' but you the audience have forgotten the fact that T'Pring's desire is not money or power and is instead a divorce#Rather telling that the 'logical' thing for a woman to do in you the audience's opinion is ''just'' have sex with a man for HIS sake#instead of rejecting him for her own#If you believe T'Pring's actions to be illogical/incomprehensible#perhaps consider whether you are actually thinking about T'Pring and not Spock
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Huevember 22
Brent, the most expressive bard to ever bard.
#my characters#oops i fell in love#i love brentholomew the bard#brent just deadpanning his support is wonderful and karen appreciates it a lot#because hey man brents hilarious esp due to the dryness and she really loves chatting with him#so having him as her support for bardic inspiration so she can murder just brings her so much joy#right and karen probably hype him up in game as a petty rivalry to paul and his npc hot bardtender#like yeah you might have your npc of your crush but WE have the better bard look hes wonderful#hes practically glowing look at him paul do you see the superior bard#and brent is just staring at paul and paul is staring back and they both dont know what to say in the situation#bc what is there to say? i prefer the npc? or maybe point out that the four are literally in a party together?#like sure hb is an npc but paul is actively running around in game with brent and like.... what do you say#brent doesnt actually want to point out theyre in the same group bc then karen and right will stop antagonizing paul#and honestly nothing against paul but its fun to watch him get quiet and confused#chris is off to the side begging them all to focus on the actual campaign - they can hype brent up later please just focus#which is a nice contrast to right having to play responsible adult at the police station#now chris has to wrangle the other adults and also keep them focused good luck!#i love brent a lot im totally biased bc hes my depression as an oc C:#so he means a lot to me and his lack of socialness and his childhood emotional neglect is a la my experiences#like brents my depression and rights my anxiety#smoosh them together and theyre soul mates haha how very ace of me as ive said before#but also i main bard in ffxiv when i play which is also possibly the bias for brent to be a bard in the dnd au#gang im so tired
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Thank you Natasha Pulley for my old man yaoi
#she said valery is 43 and konstantin is 51 and i was like thank god#wow am i going to experience this with every one of her books? just like. every human emotion ever#feel like i need to start rationing them because there’s a finite amount and i will get the book hangover to end all book hangovers#once i’m done reading all of them. like the slump will be so intense#also truly i DO NOT get the ‘her books are too similar’ criticism. first of all how is that a criticism???#when i finished the mars house i was like okay i want to read this but slightly to the left#so then i picked up valery k and i was like perfect. give me 5 more of these right now#also lowkey they’re not that similar??#okay so there’s always an adorable dork who is also sort of an abacus person#their love interest is always very strong and capable of hurting them but Absolutely Doesn’t Want To because he is too kind#the romance? Very slow burn and you gotta read between the lines#the society? horrifying and depressing place#the morality of every character? massive spectrum of shades of grey#the infodumps? there. the cameos? octopi#but liike it’s a different depressing society each time okay. and valery doesn’t have that much in common with gale#they’re both a bit frail; very knowledgeable about niche topics and can do maths very fast. and are very very dangerous#except in gale’s case; gale is the only person who doesn’t realise. and in val’s case; val is the Only one who knows he’s dangerous#okay i’m done dissecting this now and i’m going to read something else#personal
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so with echoes of wisdom .. i havent watched any of the trailers beyond the very first one and the thumbnails/screenshots and what others have said about it-
but with the world inside the rift being called "Welt des Nichts" aka "world of nothing/void" in german ('still' in english, for some reason) and demises title in french being "avatar of nothing" ... yeah my anxiety is shooting through the roof again
(hopefully you can be a little more forgiving for me being anxious/weird about it bc demise is my blorbo)
i had similar worries with totk, that werent proven true thankfully, but the darn book is making it all worse again with all those weird lore things the game doesnt even so much as hint at AND potential retcons- im in for a really rough time huh, not just stress in real life (more in tags.. its alot) but now about my specific hyperfixation from two things even (AND artblock still..)
weird as it may sound, i dont want demise to get more lore, partly bc i dont believe theyd do anything with him that i would like (given their track record) but much more importantly- the fact that he has this little lore about him is precisely one of the reasons why i fell in love with him, i tend to like characters that are neglected by the narrative, and his story being both so flat and already done meant i can be very creative with what i come up with for him without necessarily contradicting anything in canon (which is ... or was a big point of how i wrote destiny's story and lore, working with canon in a way that reframes it all without straight up ignoring it ... but i suppose i urgently need to let go of that and accept i spend alot of time working things that will go to waste :( ) AND not having to worry that there will be more stuff with him that would massively change not only what im writing but also potentially how i feel about him since the game he was briefly in was the oldest chronologically and ended with his death- i didnt expect them to mess with anything that far back and thought theyd just go forward and leave the timeline behind and wouldnt mess with it again, given how botw seemed to be a sort of 'fresh start' that seemingly regarded the past as the past that needs to rest and that the timeline was finally no longer a discussion if everythings unified through botw and one thing going forward
but i suppose i was very wrong with that .__.
right now the only thing that motivates me still is the left over determination and spite to work on my zelda comic, since i have never gotten this far and really want to get something done for once, but i cant lie that im feeling like i should pause all work on it too to wait and see waht the book and the new game will do .. either to determine if i still have the will to keep working on it after those things are out (my love for tloz has been taking alot of hits lately ..) or if i have to change stuff (mostly bc of my lore problem trying to not ignore it ..)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#ganondoodles rants#sorta#suicide attempt mention in the IRL stuff im talking about in the following tags btw#theres some construction stuff on our house going on#and my father is extremely stressed about it#he used to be very explosive- being silent and then exploding out of nowhere .. probably left me with lasting damage yippie-#but now he much more lets it eat at himself bc hes old and feels bad for the past stuff so now it makes him irritated and depressed#my older brother is the most normal cis straight guy you can imagine and incredibly impatient and bossy (you CANNOT talk with him)#(brother doesnt live in our house)#and while hes helping out hes doing it exactly how my father doesnt like and since you cant talk to the guy (explosive +200) it stresses hi#to the point of my father yesterday saying that “it would have been better if i had just died back in the day”#likely referring to the time when he was drafted for the military against his will and tried to kill himself#which i learned only like .. a year ago- theres so little my parents tell me ....#its like my mother telling me- while my father was in hospital for heart surgery- that she not only almost died back when i was a young tee#and only survived bc of some incredibly unebelievable lucky coincidences (medics on a travel being there that knew what she had-#-while our local doctors said welp- nothing we can do lady AND them beign there with a helicopter and emergency transferring her#to antoher bigger hospital while giving her immediate treatment our local one didnt do- AND at the big one just so happened to have-#-an expert on that illness in the facility when she arrived who was able to narrrowly save her life#BUT ALSO while she was recovering and weak and frail as a dust bunny witnessing someone stealing hospital surplies-#not noticing she was in the room at first (which .. the nurses left her in the nurse room while going on break ... which uhm .. yeah cool)#and if my mother hadnt acted in time like she was fully asleep and the lady stealing stuff beign in hurry- she might have killed her#without my mother being able to fight back bc she could barely even talk (the nurses didnt want to believe her when they got back either)#ANYWAY that comment from my father brough me to tears#and my mom is trying out more ... other medication shes not prescribed in hopes of it helping agaisnt her many pains#but i worry it will interact with the other stuff shes on ...#and i worry so much about both of their mental and physical well being#always trying to be the one to calm them down or help with communication bc that is a big problem in this houesehold#but i myself am also a very much not normal and not medicated shut in who has trouble dealing even with my own feelings
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i found Ena5 a nice story for the most part, but i seriously need Mizuki to straight up say "i am a girl" or at least "i'm not a boy" soon because the vagueness by itself wouldn't be all that annoying if there weren't transphobic idiots clinging to it as their "proof." but there are
#it is SO telling when someone insists that she's not trans even if they claim it's not because they're transphobic#*i* don't think it has to be said in exact words BECAUSE it's so obvious. but i'd just like to see people who believe otherwise get shut up#it's frustrating because you NEVER see it with ANYTHING else#Toya's father and Mafuyu's mother are never called abusive canonically but everyone knows they are and don't deny it#no one ever argues that Mafuyu isn't depressed even if the game doesn't use the word “depression”#it's never controversial to call Rui autistic despite the word not used BECAUSE he's so clearly neurodivergent#so why is it that Mizuki's identity is hard to stomach?#transmisogyny. it's because of transmisogyny#ace's rants :(
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Lol
#theres nothing quite like your mother saying Well maybe you shouldve been more careful because now your boss might think youve been flirting#with this male coworker (whom i like splendidly as a friend) and now maybe she thinks youre not trustworthy#and maybe she regrets hiring you because you said you feel like youre making a lot of mistakes this week and she might assume thats because#your head is filled with this boy.#so dont make her regret hiring you.#MA'AM I TOLD YOU I WAS ALREADY ANXIOUS BECAUSE I MADE SO MANY MISTAKES TODAY WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME ASHAMED#OF SOMETHING THAT I HONESTLY HAD NO CLUE I OUGHT TO BE ANXIOUS ABOUT AT MY FIRST NEW JOB AFTER IVE GRADUATED????#anyway going to bed i cant take this anymore LOL she said it so lightly and im like. well i never even considered#being afraid of making my boss regret hiring me somehow because of some kind of behaviour that i had no idea was sending some kind of signal#anywaysssss 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#and then she was like why are you crying?? 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#not to be like this is partly why i didnt want to move home but confound it all why are things like this#can i not simply confide in my mother my anxieties and worriws#worries#and not also have to worry about her potentially being like Well have you considered you ARE right and it IS your fault?#idk man something something firstborn child eldest daughter can i have some room to breathe. please#also not to whine but Not my father walking in on me eating dinner at 10pm because i was holed up#in my room in a semi depressive state after so many gong shows in a work day and straight up having no appetite#but deciding my body needs the food anyway its better late than never.....walking in and then saying#you know if you eat this late you'll gain weight. SIR??????????????????#sorry to complain and rant again i simply cannot in this house and whats more am doing my best to honour my parents#but why is it so hard out here and how can they say stuff like that with a smile!!!!!!!#also i DO have an inner critic who is always like Its your fault you are the worst you should be ashamed always........why do my parents#not understand after knowing me for so long and watching me grow up#that i can make myself so ashamed of the smallest thing so easily and that what they say drives me to shame almost as easily?#ANYWAY LOL WHAT A DAY#you guys!!! i am working so hard i promise i PROMISE I am!!! it is my first full time job ever and i am working so so hard#i am doing my absolute best and no one sees it and that is FINE i just wish my parents would see that i AM trying!!#i come back home so dead every single day because i put in 120%! this is literally my first job after graduation#and my parents KNOW this has been the most exhausting taxing and soul crushing year ive had in my very short life so far
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Haha imagine Lillith is in Heaven cause she was killed in Hell and was secretly redeemed.
#And it was a one time fluke and kept hush hush for that. Then Sir Pentious does it and now it's become a Serious Problem.#Lucifer lied to Charlie and said she's on either a vacation or they just seperated and maybe that's why he keeps wesring his ring and is#in a depressive funk#of course this is more a scenario than a theory#galla speaks#hazbin hotel
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mann im going to get my blood reports tomorrow and im lwk scared
#mostly it's fine but i looked up this medicine the doc prescribrd me and she said it's for weight loss#but i looked it up and everywhere it said it's for type 2 diabetes#to control blood sugar levels when it's so wildly out of control that nothing is fixing it#why would she give me that??? i mean im obviously gonna ask but tab tak ki anxiety bhai#i have barely processed the fact that pcod is a chronic illness which means im going to have it forever im mostly avoiding thinking about#it cause it feels too big and unbearable#diabetes would be fucking wild man im 21 years old#i am doing so terrible in not turning out to be like my dad lol i want to cry#i just hate hate hate this so much#like i was trying really fucking hard but depression wasn't getting fixed and i kept eating sleeping being in bed all day#like how can one illness cause another be frr man give me a break 😭#and i cannot even officially say depression i just sorta googled thr symptoms and relate to them most days but not everyday#so like#what is all this for#ugh goodnight i hope i wake up and it's all alright#i don't want to be a calorie counting sweet avoiding freak i love chocolate
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i am handing in my b.a. thesis (on motherhood in gothic fiction) in a few short days and though i have been complaining about having to write it for six months straight, right now i am actually feeling bereft of future opportunities to write academic papers about my silly little interests. for instance right now i really want to research & write about dracula daily & genre & the impacts of the newsletter format on the narrative (the addition of a timeloop)
i think about format and the specifics of narration a lot when i'm writing my own little things and i loooove when the narration - not just the narrator, but the act of telling the story - is part of the narrative. love when the narration is diegetic! love an epistolary novel (like dracula!) for this reason. should read more of them
inventory by carmen maria machado (short story! read it immediately!) is a GREAT example of this. the format of the narration is so integral to the story. does more than elevate it imo, i would argue the story genuinely wouldn't work any other way
g*d. i'm gonna have to become a video essayist
#and yes i may do a something something literature masters degree at some point#but i think that's a fair bit into the future.#also there's like. 3 other bachelor's degrees i'm considering#gonna be like that guy that just kept going to uni n got like 16 degrees over the course of his life.#but also i wanna train as a carpenter. and be a firefighter. and work with queer youth. and work in publishing. and write books. and#take care of forests#and before i do any of this i should probably get some therapy for the mystery shenanigans in my brain#went to a therapist said hey i am reasonably sure i have some flavour of ad(h)d going on up here. thoughts please#and she was like. yeah maybe. but also get this. you could just be depressed girl#depression can mask as ad(h)d apparently#and i was like 🤨 john mulaney voice i didn't know he knew how to do THAT.#but yeah either way something is up in the ol' noggin that is NOT super conducive to the whole 27 degrees thing#FUCK 27 dresses!!! i want 27 DEGREES!!!!!!#and most of all of course#i want to be UNEMPLOYED FOREVER <333333
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as if struggling to crawl out of the mental illness pit™ and accidentally causing a chronic pain flare up wasn't enough the deer god said 'sickness be upon ye' and gave me full body shivers and a cough
#life#and i also feel like pms is ready to pounce on me any second now#and then last week during therapy i was going over how i've been feeling lately#and all that jazz#and my therapist was like 'yeah that seems perfectly normal. depression explains all of this' and i was a bit like ?????#and she was like 'wait. didn't we do a depression thing? WAIT didn't we diagnose depression with the psychiatrist?'#and i just sat there like 'uhhhhh no?' dgfdgfdg#so we did a lil test on depression and i kept complaining how a lot of the scores take a massive leap between 1 and 2#where 1 seemed too mild and 2 seemed a bit too extreme?#so i'd just pick 1 and then i said 'i need to put 1.5 in so many of these' and then she jokingly allowed me to do it on one of the question#final score put me 0.5 away from clinical depression#so... we've got that going on for me
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