#when i finished the mars house i was like okay i want to read this but slightly to the left

[fingertipsmp3]

Thank you Natasha Pulley for my old man yaoi

[harmoonix]

🪻👑𝐆𝐨𝐝 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧👑🪻

(Astrology Observations)

👑: Aries Degrees on the Midheaven 1°, 13°, 25°...Babe you know you are born to be up there... to ascend and to be a good leader for others, to lead people on their good path

👑: Leo Degrees 5°, 17° 29° on the Midheaven (MC), you secretly wish people will give you more attention or focus more on you! Just like the royalty you are!! (Or MC in Leo)

👑: Capricorn Degrees 10°, 22° on the Midheaven (MC), you know you are that BISH!! People respect you and your ambitions!! Truly a hardworking person and very devoted (or MC in Capricorn)

👑: Midheaven (MC) with Aquarius Degrees combo 11°, 23° are true influencers, they inspire people, they invent and create new things, they give life and the first breath to everything (or MC in Aquarius)

👑: Speaking about Aquarius, Aquarius Risings have a very big potential to be influencers as well, to inspire people and to create things, what makes them different is that they have an unnatural energy that attracts people, examples: Nicki Minaj, Aaliyah, Orlando Bloom

👑: Cancer/Virgo/Scorpio/Capricorn Moons > They have an easier time to embody their emotional nature, because moon in these signs indicates deep nurturing

👑: Jupiter in Libra/Jupiter in the 7th house: Girl...I love your energy, cus I can relate to it, you definitely have an expansive energy when it comes to romantic relationships and luck

👑: Aries/Venus/Mars/Risings have that leader energy in their chart, and I rarely met people with such placements, but when I do.. they definitely strike people with this big energy

👑: Mercury in the 1st house natives omg I rarely talk about them..let's start it, I love their energy, these natives are so easy to talk with and they can easily express their emotions to the word

👑:I truly believe natives with Neptune or Uranus in the 1st house even Jupiter in the 1st house, have a spiritual path they need to follow or to connect

👑: Leo Moons/Moon in the 5th house have their own pride but they actually have a lot of things to be proud about so is not like they are dramatic about that

👑: Leo Venus/Venus in Leo Degrees 5°, 17°, 29° want to be treated as a royalty by their partners and in their romantic relationships (Sometimes Leo in the 7th house can give the same vibes)

👑: Leo in the 7th house can actually manifest as having also prideful partners but that's not 100% totally bad, some of them just may know their worth and value and that's okay

👑: Virgo in the 7th house/Mercury in the 7th house have a unique connection with their partners, especially at communication topic

👑: Virgo Mars/Mars in the 6th H need a lot of mental stimulation, they're extremely inteligent and have a sharp tongue

👑: Pisces Mars/Mars in the 12th house can manifest, the native is extremely passionate and romantic they're also creative ans often natives with those placements practice a lot of sports

👑: Taurus Risings have their Scorpio in the 7th house which makes them to attract powerful people in their life but also envious about their relationships

👑: Asteroid Destinn (6583) can have the energy similar to the north node, indicating your destiny/life path

In the 7th house - probably getting into a lots of relationships and experiencing marriage

In the 10th house - focusing on your career having a chance to get succesful in this life

In the 12th house - A truly spiritual path, this is not easy but is rewarding along the way, this indicates focusing on healing yourself

In the 4th house - This one is very confusing for me at least (because I have this placement), focusing on the family life or creating your own family/household

*I think for a better explanation try to read your destinn persona chart, I think it will be more helpful*

👑: A Retrogade planet in your chart gives you a chance to "repair" or to "finish" something you couldn't do in a past life

👑: People with lots of placements in the 3rd house can be hella attracted to cars, especially a fire or earth sign in this house

👑: Anyone out there with Vertex in the 8th house?? How you stay with your healing/sexual/rebirthing life cycle?? Like Literally 🫥🫥🫥🫥

👑: Saturn - Mars aspects = They're really ambitious when they have a plan or a strategy, + They may look harsh at first but soft/kind inside

👑: Lilith in the 9th/11th houses, these placements make Lilith to seek for freedom, so try your best to not hang around with people who can take your freedom!!

👑: South Node in the 9th house, they can either be attached or detached for religion, love - hate relationship with the religion thing, religious trauma can occur, try to be open minded as you can

👑: South Node in the 7th house, probably someone who depended a lot on others especially on their partners in a past life, you need to be more independent!!

👑: Lilith/True Lilith (h12 or h13) in the 7th house can attract mischievous partners, the partners can be intense, jealousy and even hate from other people

👑: If you have a bad day talking with someone who has Sagittarius Placements can be the best thing to do since they have the most optimistic mindset ever and a good humour

👑: Jupiter in Sagittarius or in the 9th house is truly an underatted placement, this gives you enough abundance and luck to travel over the seas and to explore more kinds of cultures

👑: Guys trust me is so so hard to figure it when you have a "love asteroid" in the 2nd house imo.. because out of all houses, the 2nd house is mostly related with money,value,food etc..I find it so hard to put things together when it comes to this house I swear 😭 (It is a house ruled by Venus but not indicating beauty or love by 100%}

👑: Pluto in the 11th house have a great status in social media, because they can be pretty powerful in that domain, also attracting people who only want to profit out of you..take care ❤️‍🩹

👑: Pluto in the 6th house don't have it easy, they're really that type of person thatno one truly knows what is going through because they don't like to share such things ❤️‍🩹

👑: Try to hang out with someone with the Moon in fire houses (1st, 5th, 9th) because they really know how to enjoy life and how to have fun

👑; A lot of mutable placements in the chart (Gemini/Sagittarius/Pisces/Virgo) shows a person who is able to change their nature and being able to change different situations

👑: Lilith in earth houses (2nd/6th/10th), Lilith can often question about her worth and value in those houses, they often have a common thing together and is that they give intimidating energy

👑: Some facts about your ascendant sign element:

Water Ascendant - You often have an approach to life that is deeply rooted in your emotional body 💙

Earth Ascendant - You have an inner force that makes you overcome any challenge during stressful and hard times 💚

Air Ascendant - You encounter everything with enthusiasm and curiosity, approaching life with love and an optimistic mindset 🤍

Fire Ascendant - Passion is vital for those natives, you have a great physical power and a great ambition 🧡

👑: Libra Moons/Moon in the 7th house - Your soul is seeking for love and romance even if you try to hide it, is the nature of your soul, and something that cannot be changed

👑: Jupiter aspecting Venus, the native is blessed with beauty and love, they are charming and chatty, in general they're pretty popular

👑: Saturn in the 7th house/Saturn in Libra - Sometimes this placement makes you to realize that is better if you don't rush with love relationships and let everything happen from fate

👑: Taurus Moons/Moon in the 2nd house should value themselves a lot and to make it a top priority!! Especially when it comes to loving yourself

👑: Jupiter aspecting Moon, these natives are full of love towards their passions and desires, Jupiter also makes the Moon to be more spiritual

👑: Moon aspecting ascendant, they have such a pure/feminine/calming energy, you can feel they're kind souls

👑: Jupiter in the 5th house/Jupiter in Leo find joy and happiness in their hobbies and things that make them happy! they're so talented!!

❤️🪻 Happy Women's Day!! To all women. To every girl, princess, queen!! To your mom aswell🪻❤️ 8th of March is a very beautiful day to celebrate ❤️🪻 be all blessed in this beautiful day!

[esshetic]

ARIES SEASON, THE CROSS, THE FINISH LINE, THE BEGINNING

Aries season starts with Mercury in Aries, Venus in Pisces, and Mars in Aquarius. The Moon is hanging out in Leo for the first day of the spring equinox. I foresee warm weather, lighter nights, and a feeling that everything is going to be okay. But why is there so much underlying tension?

The Full Moon eclipse in Libra on the 25th of March why, this is a highly emotional fated time, so whilst things may look good externally there is a sea storm happening with you so you are feeling sea sick. Whilst the storm rages on and it has to, in order to elevate you. I will go into details about the Full Moon in a separate reading, but for Aries Season the Libra full moon sets the tone for the rest of your time during this season.

Moon Square Jupiter and Uranus

Are you taking on the big guys? Do you have what it takes? Do you have the power to overcome?

Let's delve deeper into the season. Aries is fast-paced and busy. The world around you will appear bustling as everyone is busy doing things and going places. The energy is fun, light, and busy. Take things lightly and as they come. You are reaping the rewards of seeds planted six months ago, so this is a time to be in the play and not plot and create. It is about the new, the experience, the present moment.

The Cross, we have Easter weekend, which will come and go. The Finish Line, our Libra full moon, is balancing out power and redistributing it to us, the people. The Beginning is you looking at the next six months towards the end of the season. You will plant new seeds in Taurus season, and also water the seeds that you planted late last year. It's time for you to review your New Year's resolutions

How will Aries Season be for each sign?

Aries, happy birthday, it's finally your season. You may not be in the mood to celebrate the way you would normally celebrate your birthday. We (it's my birthday too) are having a thoughtful, mindful, and introverted birthday. What I mean is, it's not about filling up your schedule with activities. I see a simple, fulfilling day doing something like watching a movie at lunchtime, sitting in your fav cafe spot and sketching away, or looking for something memorable to do - what you REALLY want to do, not what you are supposed to do. Easter weekend is bringing your hobbies alive, your inner child is beaming, or simply, you may spend time around young children which will make you beam from ear to ear. Family and playtime is around you. The Full Moon in Libra is lighting and sending a lightning bolt to your 7th house, it's electric and buzzy. I see partnerships taking form around your work, help being offered to you, and contracts being signed. The beginning Aries, as your season gets going into Taurus season, you are already feeling the lazy, chilling out vibe from your neighbour. I do see things that were planted 6 months ago coming back around. This is around beliefs and dreams.

Taurus, Aries rules your 12th house, therefore Mars rules your 12th and 7th house. Even though it's spring, you guys don't feel the vibes of the season until your season begins. You are still in hibernation mode, running on reserve battery or being on auto pilot. I believe that you want to preserve your energy. It is your power and you, more than anyone, understand the exchange of energy and you're worth. You know how to rest, do nothing, and preserve and store your energy. You know you're worth (you can teach Aries, Virgo, and Cap a little thing about this) and won’t move until you have to, for the sake of it. So yes, it's not time for you to get up so you will enjoy your time where you are. You can lay all day every day without feeling bad. The Cross, Easter weekend feels emotional for you. You are feeling deeply reflective this time and want people to be easy with you as you are in a fragile reflective state. Rest up, it doesn't matter what the world around you is doing, you will know when you feel ready to join the world again.

Gemini, Aries has awakened your feisty side, as you roll your eyes at me for giving credit to another star sign for who you are. I believe that you have been in your plotting and planning phase and waiting for the time to take action. This Aries season is showing you the possibilities if you take that path that seems like lunacy, but this is the only thing that you can think of to do to get you back on the path that you desire. By Easter weekend, you will be in good spirits. I think all the signs will be, to be honest. Something that was causing a lot of pain and anxiety has lightened up, or you have decided to see yourself as bigger than it. So once the full moon comes along and you are provided with choices to make, you already made your decision with your actions and the Universe sees this and allows for things to manifest for you. As we get into April, you are super positive and happy with your new start and choice.

Cancer, the Sun is transiting your 10th house of career, reputation, and public life and is linked to your 5th house of family, romance, and fun relationships. I see a vindication in how those around you see you. Your reputation restored and respect given to you. I see this Spring as a start of a golden period for you. The turbulent times have gone and you are entering a season of enjoyment. Important contracts to sign are coming your way, Cancer. I am seeing imminently. The Full Moon is a smooth journey for you in contrast to the last year's emotional rollercoaster. However, as Taurus season approaches, another hurdle to overcome looms on the horizon as a new chapter begins for you. You have to lean into new learned skills to help you climb this mountain.

Leo, the sun is transiting your 9th house of higher learning, travel, and religion. The sun's transits are always significant to you as you are the sun is your north star and you will always be looking for ways on how to extravert yourself. This transit is an introspective one for you. Maybe you are looking into new religious studies or finding faith, realising that you do not have an internal faith point or compass to lean on and that you rely on your external world to reflect back to you inside. This has been where you have gone wrong as the inside has all the keys. Easter weekend feels like a somber affair. Your inside is somber and sad and you are looking at where this comes from. Don't stop at the sadness, keep going deeper inside yourself. As we approach the full moon in Libra in your 3rd house of community and siblings and with the new year underway, I see new growth taking place as the things that were stunting your growth have been removed.

Virgo the Sun is transiting your 8th house of the occult, emotional depth, and secrecy so what is it shining a light on and reflecting things back to you, this season is asking you to pay attention to those relationships that are triggering to you, what does the person do that reminds you of something or a part of yourself that you cannot see clearly. Easter weekend brings you clarity on a situation where you can finally resolve it within yourself and let it go the Full moon in your second house kicks off a new start and phase, like a health kick or a journal phase or a work out class that you become obsessed with your a new hobby that becomes your personality.

Libra the Sun is transiting your 7th house, where you normally lay your sweet head, but you are in the spot light and its your turn to watch others where you were a few months ago, or even years ago, with enough distance you can now see the past for what is was and forgive yourself perhaps? Easter weekend takes you on a whirlwind of emotions particularly regret and recking your mind thinking of what if, those what ifs will drive you mad if you let them. The full moon is in your first house of yourself, this time you take centre stage with having to make a decision, you know there is only one decision, do the hard thing.

Scorpio your 6th house is being highlighted this season of the day to day living the small, micro which affects the macro, take care of the small things and the universe will take care of the big things. The small things being having 3 meals a day, drinking lots of water this will get you over the finish line. Easter weekend brings showers weather rainy days or not literal its a clearing out and washing away of the old which touches onto the full Moon in Libra arriving in your 12th house more things being illuminated and cleared out where you would not have normally seen it. This is in reference to your physical reality and not spiritual or internal reality but it puts the chips in your hands to make the next move.

Sagittarius your 5th house is being highlighted this Aries season alongside your 12th house which is mars ruled, this season you may feel like you want to get back into the gym or fitness, joining a running club, its time to get physical for you, you don’t want to think or plan or feel, you just want to take action and move all the energy in your body. Easter weekend brings a bit of family stress but it will blow over and the full moon hitting your 11th house of groups and earned income brings a need to balance all the opportunities that are coming in for you, towards the end of the season you feel brighter about your future.

Aquarius this Aries season has you in a happy place, lighter than you have been in a while ( tell cap!) and with the sun transiting your 3rd house and you are feeling chill and happy to be seen to relax to enjoy, no anxiety or doubt. Easter weekend weekend is a good weekend, you guys really feel like you have lit a spliff and are chilling, nothing is phasing you, the waves may crash onto you but you are simply not phased at all. The full moon is in your 9th house but you don’t care lol, you have really hit a sweet spot of calm and this message is affirming your choice of switching off from the noise and just watching everything unfold.

Pisces , last but not least, the whole world in your hands my loves this sun transit is in your 2nd house of your self worth and money earned, you are thinking of ways to really take your creative work seriously in a way that you can build a career in it, you have a lot of rightful fear around it but so what, just try it out it won’t suck that bad if you fail, and failure is really just a learning curve my loves. Finish that painting and get started on the next one, they are eager owners ready to buy what you have created you just have to find them. Full moon is in your 8th house of other peoples money and this is linked to your creative world becoming your work others want to find and buy your creativity do not martyr yourself and give it for free. which ties back to your 2nd house of values and money earned, what are you worth? take that number and triple it. 

[writingsbychlo]

I always see writings about short reader and taller male characters (I love them). If requests are open, could you write reader x Az, is she too tall for a fae? (Like just a few inches shorter than him)

Disregard if I don't like or are not open to requests. My english is kinda messed up, so forgive any mistakes and thank you ! 🤭🩷

Some days, insecurities still got the better of you. Some days, things you long thought you'd come to terms with, gotten over, still lingered on your mind. Some days, your thoughts strayed out, to everything around you, and it seemed like the world was playing against you.

As you watched Cassian wrap Nesta up in his arms, making all of her tall stature seem tiny, today was one of those days. You'd always been tall, always been someone other girls had to look up at to speak to, always been the one who avoided heels and stand at the back of the group.

Even so, as Cassian grinned at her playful scowl and wrapped her up even tighter, your throat was thick as you swallowed back emotions, noting how even tall Nesta, with her larger-than-life personality and sky-high attitude, seemed so small.

You never felt like that.

As you finished packing away your things, trying not to let emotions overtake you, blinking back tears of anger and frustration, an arm wrapped around your waist. Like a soothing balm over burns, it was enough to calm you a little, rough fingertips dipping underneath the edge of your training shirt to smooth over your bare skin.

With a calming sigh, you stood back up, swinging your bag over the other shoulder, as Azriel curled you into his side. A soft smile sat on his pretty pink lips, and you leaned in, barely having to tip your head up at all to let your lips meet, and that thought soured the act of affection, lingering in your mind like a poison until his kiss felt more like a burn than love.

When he pulled back, that soft smile melted into concern, brows furrowing and frown marring his pretty face, an expression you hated putting there, but there was no way you could stop it. Your mating bond may still be somewhat new, but Azriel had always been good at reading people, it was no surprise he'd taken to understanding every different tug and tweak of your bon so quickly too. With his concern, he sent a flood of comfort and love along that bridge between your hearts, enough that the beginnings of a real smile flickered briefly at the edges of your lips.

"I'm okay, Az. Just... one of those days."

You both had them, and by the slow nod of his head, you knew he understood, but he pulled you a little closer anyway. Another peck to your lips, one to your cheek and your hairline, before he was guiding you silently out of the room, offering a goodbye on both of your behalves to those still milling around in the training area.

You weren't sure where he was leading you, not until the halls narrowed, and the grandeur of the house of Wind thinned a little, the side of the building you were less familiar with. His room, a place that was slowly becoming less and less used as he spent almost every night in your bed, holding you close and soaking up every second with you that he could. You liked his room more, his bed was bigger, it made you feel less—

No. No, you wouldn't allow your thoughts to slip back somewhere else, somewhere bad, somewhere you didn't go anymore.

Your head rolled onto his shoulder, a soft sigh slipping from your lips, and even as you walk,d his head tipped down to rest on top of your own.

"You can tell me, you know. If you want to get it off your chest, if you want to talk about it."

His rumbling tone was like a lullaby, a song that soothed your heart, deeper and tender and so full of love, and your lip wobbled a little. "Do you ever wish I was smaller?"

"Smaller?" Genuine confusion laced his tone, enough that a burst of warmth settled in your chest, like a hug he'd settled right into your skin, just from one simple word. It only helped for a moment, before the cold was back.

"Smaller. Less... big framed." He stayed silent, letting you go on, giving you a chance to continue at his loss. "I don't give off the same delicate nature that Elain does. She's so small, even as a fae. Amren is tiny, even Nesta is tall but she's not... like me. Do you ever wish I was smaller, so you could treat me like Cassian does Nesta or Lucien to Elain? They love wrapping them up, making it like they're something small to cradle and protect. Instead, you got stuck with a mate big enough to share clothes with you. When Feyre wears one of Rhys' shirts, it hangs on her like a dress, your clothes fit me, Az. I'm not tiny."

This time, his silence was accompanied by a flood of sadness and concern down the bond, his feet coming to a stop and his arm slipping away from around your waist, before his hands were coming to cup your cheeks. Large thumbs smoothed over your cheekbones, forcing g you to meet his gaze until you were drowning n the worried whiskey of them.

"I'm sorry—"

"Don't you dare apologise, I should be the one apologising. If you think there is even a single part of you that I don't love, then I am utterly failing at being your mate. For that, I'm sorry." His forehead came to your own as he shuffled a step forward, neck barely bending at all to press you together, his lashes fluttering as the closed, noses bumping. "I love every single part of you."

"Az—"

"Every. Single. Part. I love you from the top of your head to the tips of your toes, and that means your height just gives me more to love, it means I get to give you more love, and I have so much to give." Your shaky sigh washed over him, and he closed the gap for only a second, a desperate and emotion-filled kiss left on your lips. "You're so damn beautiful just as you are. The first time I saw you, you took my breath away, and I've never been able to catch it since. I love sharing clothes with you, and that they fit. I'm a selfish, jealous bastard, and when you wear my clothes out in public, I know you smell like me, like you're showing off who gets to love you. It makes me so proud. You are strong, and independent, and you make me feel good about myself."

"Yeah?" That perked you up, that brightened it all, the idea of doing something to help your mate was light a single ray of light in the dark. It was his turn to swallow thickly, pulling back to catch your gaze once again, baring all the vulnerability within it to you.

"Yeah. You feel real under my hands, you feel strong. You don't make me feel like some kind of lumbering, destructive monster. You make me feel like I'll break you, like I'm not worthy of you. You make me feel right."

"Well, when you put it like that..." The darkness still lingered, it would probably hang around all day, but sharing the burden with Azriel made it feel a little easier to carry. Light enough to make a joke, at least.

"Besides, I may not connect with my Illyrian heritage much, but do you know what they say about tall women?" You shook your head, and his low chuckle reverberated against your lips as he leaned in. "In my culture, tall women are the best of all. Tall women are warriors, they can handle a warrior's lifestyle, they make the strongest sons and they can protect the home. It is an honour to be mated to a tall woman, she is to be coveted, to be celebrated, to be worshipped. You are perfect for every part of me."

[clarynewme]

Sorry, love, this feedback is too late😭😭😭. I just finished the test and finally have free time.😅

An interesting thing just happened, and I am eager to share it with you. My mom went to pick me up and stopped at a bakery to grab some bread. I was in the car alone when I realized the minivan beside me was a Toyota model called Sienna. I didn’t know this model before, and my English name is actually Sienna. What a coincidence! Wish me luck in the test!

💙Feedback:

The reading is very detailed and insightful. First, about Rahu transiting the 7th house, Rahu is normally considered detrimental and feels like it can cause bad results sometimes. I checked the transit; it started around December 2023. That is when I start having acne breakout pretty badly, and mercury (which rules skin) has been affected by Rahu, Mars, and the sun.

About D7, which I never noticed before, your interpretation is very accurate. I begin to face my trauma and and try to be more open and approachable. And for spouse, it is really nice to know, and I’m looking forward to that! 🤞

Ketu Dasha has been giving me a lot of trouble; Venus in the 12th house with Mars hasn’t given me any romance (your girl never gotten it🥺). But it is very hopeful, and the Jupiter transit in the 9th house is surely a validation for education and travel. I just checked my last time traveling abroad; it had Jupiter and Venus transited in the 9th house!!! 👏👏👏

In the SR, you mentioned that the people I'm gonna meet are serious and mature. I think I really need someone like this. I have been living under my family’s protection for so long that sometimes I just don’t know how to stand up for myself. A role model who shares something similar with me can help me develop and grow. A psychic, intense, or deep connection—intuitively knowing what the other is thinking—is all I want! I have Saturn in the 8th house in my natal, and as the 7th Lord in SR, I also have intimacy issues or am afraid of deep connections. I hope we can heal together🥺. The appearance of the spouse you’ve mentioned is soooo good😈😈😈; it's exactly what I like, particularly hips, legs, and hands. But tbh, I don’t anticipate having a nice spouse; my D9 is kinda bad, and my DK Saturn is in the 8th house, and from the Moon, Saturn is also poorly placed in the 12th house.

I'm really sorry for such delay, hope you don't mind and have got better☺️☺️☺️

Hi🥰 It's okay I was curious to know if you liked the reading lol😘

Wow that could be a sign you're about to meet him soon with the symbolisms I've given you👀👀👀

GOOD LUCK💕🙏🫰

Jupiter is transiting your rahu in 7th house, indicating expansion/abundance in relationships/partnerships (learning about what you want in relationships, how it affects you in a personal level/life), rahu could indicate unconventional relationships that challenge society expectations and unique ideas about marriage, perhaps the person could be way older than you (you have saturn darakaraka) or a foreigner, different culture/religion, etc. You can also draw more people towards you (more attractive). Yes rahu is considered malefic, but it depends on how you deal with it; It can cause anxiety, obssesion and illusion in relationships. So keeping yourself grounded with clarity and patience, finding strategies to manage this energy is essential as well communication in relationships and seeking advice from others could help.

Ketu dasha means detachment, karmic lessons and spirituality and it's in your 1st house aspecting 7th house so you could have been going through a difficult/intense period/self transformation in your life making room for you to focus on spiritual/deep/fated romantic partnerships (ketu-venus -> past life partner/soulmate). 12th house energy can be tricky but don't worry everything will happen in divine timing. (You could meet him through dreams and manisfestation/signs is relevant). YES travelling and education are very strong in your chart👌🤭

Maybe that's why you haven't met him yet, with saturn transit influencing 4th house (family) in aquarius makes you feel restricted, wanting your freedom. When you get out of the cocoon, travel/study abroad you could finally meet him🫶

🥰🥰🥰😳😳😳🤭🤭🤭

It's normal you feel that way with rahu in 7th house and other factors in your chart. My dad also has rahu in 7th house and didn't marry my mom who has ketu in 7th house(met him after divorce). It's possible you won't get married and just live with your longterm partner or you could marry later after your saturn return (saturn darakaraka) from what I've seen 2030👀.

Not yet😅 But thank you so much for the support🙏🫶💜 Feel free to send me DM💋💗

[miss-americana-reputation]

save a horse…

ennis del mar x fem!reader

smut and a bit of smut

basically, smut, then the rest of the day is fluffy 💋💋

a/n-read this for my explanation for it being a fem!reader but y’all can imagine whoever you want to

///////////////////

i wake up to the sound of him turning over. “ennis?” i hum out. “hm?” he hums. i blink open to see him just waking up. “morning.” i smile. “morning.” he smiles back and kisses me.

i smile as his big hand moves behind my back and holds me against him. we continue to make out like this until i move over so i’m straddling him. “oh, i like this.” he smirks and moves his hands up my thighs.

i lean down and connect our lips again while he touches and gropes all over my body. “ennis.” i whine into his lips. “hm?” he hums and pulls away barely, so our lips barely touch.

“can i stay on top?” i ask and softly kiss down his face to his neck. “fuck, yes.” he groans as i softly bite his neck. his hands tangle into my hair as i kiss all over his neck and chest.

he pulls me back up to his lips and connects them again. “please.” i breathe. “okay.” he says. i kick the sheets off of us and we quickly strip. i pull of my last item of clothing and turn to see him slowly stroking himself, his tip an angry red

“shit. ennis.” i smile. i lean down and kiss the tip before pulling away. “fuck.” he smirks as i line myself up with him. i sit down onto his length, pausing halfway to adjust myself.

“fuck.” he sighs. “ennis.” i moan and sit down on him more. “oh yes.” i moan as i take him fully. he guides me against his cock. “you- fuck.” he says as he firmly grabs onto my hips. “ennis.” i brace my hands on his chest.

“you’re squeezing me, darling.” he smirks. “mhm.” i nod. i start to bounce myself and he lets his hands fall from me. “look at you.” he smiles and snakes his hand to my ass. he gropes it as i ride him, squeezing harder when i clench around him.

“shit.” he sighs. i watch him reach over and i slow down my hips as he grabs his pack of cigarettes. he tucks one between his lips and grabs his lighter. he lights the end of the cigarette, sucking and blowing out a puff of smoke as he drops the lighter onto the nightstand.

“come on.” he smirks and slaps my ass. i smile as i start to bounce on him. “shit.” he breathes out. “fuck.” i moan. “yeah. like that?” he smiles and spanks me, blowing out a puff of smoke in the process. “mhm.” i nod.

“oh fuck.” he groans, taking another puff from his cigarette. “yeah. fuck, ride me.” he grunts. “ah! ennis.” i moan, jaw going slack.

“feel good?” he smirks. “yes.” i gasp. i hurriedly bounce on him while he holds onto my hips. “please.” i cry out. “what?” he smiles, more smoke blowing out. “i need to.” i whine and bounce more harsher against him.

“come on. do it.” he smiles. i finish and clench around him so hard i almost push him out. “fuck, fuck, fuck.” i moan as i finish. i pull out and stroke him quickly so he finishes on my stomach. “shit.” he sighs as he’s done. “yeah.” i smile and softly kiss him. i quickly wipe myself off and get dressed. he gets dressed in his underwear and i join him in bed.

“you enjoy it?” he smiles. “mhm.” i nod and trace small shapes on his chest. “you hungry?” he asks. “yeah.” i nod. “okay.” he says and gets up. he goes to the kitchen and eventually i climb out of bed and go to him.

“hi.” he says while cracking an egg into a pan. “hi.” i hum and start a pot of coffee. “what’s the game plan today?” i ask as i start the machine and let it drip into the pot. “the normal.” he shrugs. “okay.” i softly laugh. “what’s your plans?” he mumbles through a barely there cigarette. “dishes, laundry, then probably stare at you.” i smile. “interesting.” he nods.

“here.” i say and pluck the cigarette out of his lips. “you’re gonna burn your lips.” i say as i put it out, dumping it into an ashtray. “what would i do without you?” he asks. “probably burn the house down.” i smile as i fix us both coffee. “hm.” he responds as i pour him a cup.

“how you like it.” i smile as i hand him it. i kiss his cheek as i go make mine. “do you need anything from the store? i’m starting to make a list.” i ask. “uh, get back to me.” he smiles. “okay.” i smile.

he makes me breakfast and we sit down at our small table. “what time is it?” he asks. “you have the watch.” i point out. he sighs and looks over at the clock in the kitchen. “shit.” he sighs. “yeah?” i ask. “i gotta get out there quickly, they’ll have my ass.” he says.

he quickly eats and runs to get ready. i’m sitting and reading as he comes out with his hand in hand. “love you.” he says and kisses me. “i love you.” i call back.

///////////////////

[andmaybegayer]

Last Monday of the Week 2024-06-24

Hosting

Listening: It's important to put music on while there are people kicking around the house to fill in the gaps, a lot of that has been Vienna Teng, so, Green Island Lullaby :

Also as another note, I am closing in on the end of The Magnus Archives, and I like some of the stuff of this last season. It gets to get a lot more into absolute horror when it doesn't have to reasonably fit into the real world and I appreciate a lot of that, I've always liked my short story to veer a little abstract.

Watching: After my parents left for Amsterdam I was like "hey I should watch something" and put on Funeral Parade of Roses/Bara no Soretsu, which is such a banger of a movie if you love queer art films from five minutes after we invented the concept of editing and horrible tragedy. We should make more extremely heavy movies that include within themselves comedic making-of documentaries.

Also, courtesy of @canmom's Animation Night, Mars Express, a very beautiful robot sentience animated movie by Jérémie Périn. It follows a Space Cop who ends up working with a renegade engineer who jailbreaks sentient slave robots. Extremely space-noir. Extremely detailed world of future-tech, thoughtful design, and a by-the-numbers but well-executed plot. If you like cyber neo-noir you'll love it, also check out Animation Night on twitch.tv/canmom most Sundays at 20:00 UK time, truly a gem, the first place I watched PMMM.

Reading: All but finished with Iron Widow, it's a shame that it's not a very good book because it feels like much more aggressive editing could have saved it. There's so many words and maybe 30% of them don't have to be there, this book loves to tell instead of showing, or to show and then tell you all about what it's shown you. Again, very compelling setting and themes, the way that being in a mech transcends your material form while simultaneously making you very responsible for other people is a great idea!

Zetian is a clumsy protagonist in-world, which is fine if frustrating. She's not calculating enough to pull off Taylor Hebert long-term plans and careful considerations, but she's not impulsive enough to get into interesting problems for very long, there's lots of opportunity to create intrigue that just get snipped in the bud because she decides not to care, which means a lot of threats just aren't very credible.

Playing: Hades! I got tutored through a full clear and had the boons system laid out to me and I have now got a clear with every weapon except the fists, and that's only because I haven't gotten around to it yet. I still don't think I enjoy the way the narrative of Hades is presented, but I am appreciating the gameplay, I enjoy enginebuilder-likes like this, you know, Inscryption, Noita, that kind of thing.

Making: Not much, too busy.

Tools and Equipment: I picked up a LowePro Creator Box, which is their line of mini-camera storage cubes intended to help turn normal bags into camera bags. Transporting camera equipment is a huge pain in the ass, because you have to keep it all padded, but dedicated camera bags are frequently awful as, you know, bags. Lowepro does make some camera bags that are also okay day packs, but these boxes are really nice for just dumping into an existing backpack or carry-on to safely travel with a camera and a couple lenses. This is the Large size.

There's a line of outdoor backpacks that even let you access your box from a side hatch directly, but I don't have one of those. This makes it much easier for me to, say, hoof my camera to work when I have somewhere I want to go later in the day. There's some gigantic cubes for larger bags as well which I guess are for if you're doing wildlife photography on foot, or running a full production in a remote area.

[a-k-a-ruenis]

Cynosure

Rating; Teen and +

Fandom; Aldnoah.Zero

Relationship; Slaine Troyard / Kaizuka Inaho

Tags; (trigger warning) Angst, Depression, Self Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, (Past) Attempted Suicide, (Past) Implied / Referenced Child Abuse

Chapter 2/3

Story under the cut!

Alternatively, please click here to read it on my Ao3!

Year Two

Slaine had shown up in tears.

Glancing toward the clock on his desk, Inaho notes the time; it is nearly midnight, and though that in itself is not odd, Slaine showing up on his doorstep at this hour is, even if their houses are not all that far apart. Anyone else would question whether this was appropriate or not, he thinks to himself.

It is late, and it is dark, and it is chilled outside. Slaine should be sleeping, in his own bed, in the house with his parents.

Inaho does not care that Slaine had shown up so late.

It hurts to see him like this.

“Slaine..” he calls softly, gently taking Slaine’s hands in his own, thumbs lingering along the old scars that have since healed. They are tender. Fragile. They mar his skin like the scratches on his violin case, and they will never disappear.

Lifting his head, Slaine gazes at Inaho with tears in his teal eyes; they are rimmed red and puffy. Before he came here, he must have already been crying for a little while. Something had woken him up; the blond is wearing those loose, grey pajamas of his, and his hair is a fluffy mess. “I.. Inaho..” The name comes out breathless, caught between soft sniffles and sobs.

You don’t call me ‘Kaizuka’ anymore.

“.. I'm.. sorry, Slaine..” Inaho whispers, continuing to rub his thumbs along the scars, always careful not to press too hard, not to dig his nails in. This part of Slaine will always be the most sensitive, the easiest to hurt. “You're hurting, but.. because I won't let you..” he says, trailing off, unable to finish.

Because he had told Slaine last year that he did not want him to hurt himself anymore, Slaine cannot disappear, no matter how much pain he is in. Perhaps that had been a mistake. Perhaps he should have kept his mouth shut, his opinions to himself.

It was not his place, after all, to interfere with a painful wish that Slaine had made a long time ago.

.. right?

“I want to stay,” Slaine says between quiet sniffles, breaths caught in his throat, heart threatening to crack and break further than it already has, “I want.. to stay..”

“.. okay,” Inaho murmurs, nodding a few times. Tensing up when Slaine hugs him, he tries to relax, listening to Slaine's shaky breathing in his ear; it hurts, still. “Slaine,” he whispers, weak, “Should I.. Last year, should I.. not have.. told you..”

Slaine's nails lightly dig into Inaho's back. The hugs are always tight, needy; Inaho has gotten used to them over the course of their friendship, along with Slaine’s gradual increase in how affectionate he has become. It took awhile, for him to become completely comfortable, for him to let Inaho touch his hands and wrists. It took awhile, but it was worth it. “Do you regret it?”

The question is barely audible, far too soft. It is pained.

“No,” Inaho whispers immediately, shaking his head as best he can, “I don’t regret it. I don’t want you to.. disappear..”

If only he could say that he understands. That he understands how hard it can get, that he knows what it feels like to feel empty inside, at a loss, that he knows what it feels like to want to disappear.

It is stuck on his tongue, and the honest statement by itself is enough to taste bitter in his throat, just like the admission last year had. It hurts, rubbing even more salt into Slaine’s open wounds.

Falling quiet when Slaine hugs him the smallest bit closer, Inaho tries to remain still, listening to Slaine’s shaky breathing. Slaine’s cheek is warm against his own, and the touch has become almost familiar, at this point. They had their first sleepover a few months ago – something that Slaine previously was never able to do. Since then, Slaine has happily stayed over a couple of times, elated to have a chance at normal friendships, happy to do all the things he had missed out on as a child.

“You don’t mind?”

That you need support?

“No,” Inaho tells him, “I don’t mind.”

They remain still for a few short moments.

It is quiet, in Inaho's room. It is always quiet, this late at night.

Yuki has to sleep early to wake up early for work, and Inaho does not do anything particularly loud aside from cooking lunches sometimes during the night. Slaine prefers texting to calling, though Calm will sometimes call, and Inaho has to ask him not to yell into the cellphone.

It does not matter how much support Slaine needs. It does not matter if he needs hugs and affection, or if he wants to visit in the extremely earning morning; Inaho is happy to provide anything he can, anything to make the pain a little more bearable.

“What happened?” Inaho asks, breaking the silence.

It takes a moment. Slaine pulls away slowly, meeting Inaho’s dark eyes, his own teal ones still rimmed with tears. A small smile pulls a his lips, bittersweet, pained. “Can.. can you.. ever understand a person?” he asks, voice soft and low.

Inaho gently takes Slaine’s hands in his own, turning them over again to run his thumbs along the scars. His thumb lingers over a particularly nasty gash. With enough of an inspection, it is easier to tell which scars are older and which are newer, though thankfully, Slaine has not injured himself in quite some time. For that, Inaho is grateful. They are old, and they have healed over, but they serve as reminders of his painful childhood.

The repetitive action, according to Slaine, is helpful. It distracts him. Helps soothe the pain in his heart, even just a small bit.

“.. he.. apologised. After all these years, as.. as if what he did to – to me, was..” The words come out staggered, shaky. Sucking in a soft breath, he shifts, but does not pull his wrists from Inaho’s gentle grasp. “It.. What happened, to me.. He can’t just.. With an apology.. Doesn’t make it okay..”

Inaho glances upward, meeting Slaine’s eyes again. “You don’t have to forgive him,” he murmurs. “Not if you don’t want to. You never have to forgive anyone for anything,” he says, low, continuing to rub his thumbs along Slaine’s wrists.

It does seem to help, albeit help slowly.

Slaine nods a few times, breathing out. “She’s.. marrying his son,” he whispers, a bittersweet, painful smile pulling on his lips. Those tears in his eyes are still there, but they do not seem to want to fall.

Inaho’s dark eyes linger over Slaine’s face.

It is clear that the blond is torn – torn between being happy for her and or distraught. It is an impossible situation; there is no way to choose which to feel, to choose what to think. “I know that – that they aren’t the same person, I know that he’d never.. he’d never hurt.. her, like I was.. But I..” Trailing off again, he shuts his eyes, hands nearly balling into fists – Inaho unfurls them as gently as he can, remaining quiet.

It hurts. It hurts just a little more than it does when Slaine plays his violin. Both leave Inaho’s heart a scrambled mess.

“.. can.. people.. truly ever understand one another..?” Slaine asks again, softer this time.

Inaho only hesitates for a moment before pulling Slaine into another hug, allowing his fingers to rest in Slaine's hair. The near-white tufts are bright against his fingertips, they stand out in the dim light of the room, barely illuminated by the lamps in the corners. “No,” he says, truthful, and Slaine tenses, taken off-guard by the blunt answer. “Human beings won’t be able to understand each other perfectly. It’s impossible,” he says quietly, “Most of us try to understand each other on some level, though. Like you and me,” he continues, “I think that’s good enough, if everyone at least tries.”

Slaine makes a muffled sound against him, another strangled sob, caught in his throat. “Thank you,” he whispers, and Inaho feels Slaine hug him back, nails lightly digging into his sweater, “for trying to.. to understand..”

-*-

“.. every time you come over.. you always end up looking at my photo album,” Slaine murmurs the next night, the two of them in Slaine’s bedroom, this time.

After calming down, they had both gone to bed and had been able to get to school relatively normally. Thankfully, Slaine left his parents a note in his distress, so they did not worry upon not finding him in bed this morning. Yuki, on the other hand, was completely surprised to find that Slaine had come in the dead of night.

Hugging his knees to his chest, Slaine stares at the brunet, watching Inaho’s dark eyes linger over the album. As far as he has seen, Inaho and Yuki do not have such albums in their house; instead, they mostly have photos in frames here and there, scattered throughout the house.

Slaine is young, in these photos. Probably six, at the youngest, and ten or eleven at the oldest. Even now, Slaine still kind of has a baby face, it is difficult to tell exactly how old he is. Going through the album, Inaho has never seen any photos with anyone else aside from the three of them – Saazbaum, Orlane and Slaine, that is. There are a few photos that look as if they may have been cut, but it is hard to tell whomever else might have been in the shot with them. Most likely, it is the family Slaine had first been placed with.

“When exactly did your parents adopt you?”

“Officially, they adopted me about eight months before I moved here with them,” Slaine says, and Inaho finds himself taken by complete surprise.

Slaine has obviously been in their care for much longer, and the three of them act as if any family would – the photos and albums and the way they act together are proof of that.

“There was an.. issue, concerning who would get legal guardianship over me. Saazbaum and Orlane have wanted me since I was a child, but.. my biological father's will specified I be taken care of by another family.”

The words are pained.

“Father and mother finally got custody of me and I moved in with them in Germany before we moved here,” Slaine says, softening again. Smiling, he flips a few pages, and then points to a larger photo; it is him, Saazbaum and Orlane in what looks to be a gazebo in a garden. There are flowers everywhere, organised neatly by colour and type, and there seem to be fruit trees in the back, far behind the gazebo. They look happy, eating breakfast together; Slaine especially seems to be ecstatic and enjoying himself.

You really love your parents, don't you?

“They've been visiting me since I was a child, took care of me when my biological father was busy with work,” Slaine says softly, “I wish they had been able to adopt me sooner.. They had a second house in England that they stayed in, just so they could see me..”

“That's very committed of them,” Inaho comments, rubbing his thumb against the photo. Saazbaum and Orlane should have been allowed to adopt Slaine far, far earlier, despite his biological father’s wishes. It should have been obvious that Slaine was not in good care with them. “I'm happy for you,” he murmurs, and Slaine softens further, resting his cheek against his knee, “You should take more photos soon. There are nice parks around here, and I’m sure they’ll take you to the aquariums and museums if you ask.”

That causes Slane to light up, a welcome sight after last night’s sleep over. “I want photos with you,” he tells him, sincere, though he quickly adds, “and the others, too!”

Inaho smiles when Slaine flushes. It is easy to fluster Slaine. Terribly easy. It only seems he has complete composure when his eyes are shut and he is playing the violin.

Still, it only takes a second for Slaine to falter and his smile to slip. “.. I.. really don't have to forgive him..?”

Inaho shuts the album and places it at the foot of Slaine’s bed, taking care to be gentle with it.

They had watched movies, earlier. Foreign films, in languages neither of them could understand. They had been cliche and cheesy, but they had made Slaine laugh – he laughed so hard at one point that he could not breathe until Inaho paused the movie and forced him to drink water.

Saazbaum and Orlane had not scolded them, this time, apparently aware of what had set Slaine off last night. Inaho finds himself getting into trouble more often than the other, mostly for attempting to make snacks in the middle of the night.

Slaine's laughter was.. nice. Inaho has not heard it in awhile. It made his chest warm and his heart light. Those movies had been exactly what they needed after last night.

“No. You don’t have to forgive him.”

Slaine frowns. “What.. about all that.. ‘if you don’t forgive, you can’t heal’ preaching, then..?” he asks, quiet.

“It’s nonsense,” Inaho answers plainly.

It is a cruel tactic used by others to try and make the victimised party feel guilty. There is no need for Slaine to associate with them any longer, not when he is obviously the one that has been wronged.

“Think about it,” he continues, soft, “Would you ever want to forgive someone who betrayed your trust? Could you forgive me if I hurt you like that?”

Slaine makes a soft sound of displeasure; it probably hurts, trying to imagine his dearest friend stabbing him in the back and breaking his trust and heart. They have grown fond of each over, reliant. Having his trust broken once is more than enough, by someone he was supposed to be able to trust, rely on.. “If.. you ever came close.. to betraying me like that.. I don't think I could forgive you,” he finally says, soft and low.

“And you couldn't forget, either?”

“.. I.. I don’t want to imagine how badly it would hurt,” Slaine whispers, and Inaho watches as the other reaches out for his hand, loosely grasping it, “I wouldn’t.. ever be able to.. to forget something like that.”

Inaho remains quiet for a second, remains still as Slaine's fingers gently smooth his palm.

Trust and affection. Slaine finally has someone his age to confide in, spend time with; it must be relieving, having someone to rely on, other than his parents.

“You.. don’t ever have to forgive him, or forget what he did,” he murmurs, and he hears Slaine’s breath catch. “You can hate him, for as long as you want. For the rest of your life, if you want. You can curse him and wish he rots in prison, if that’s what you want,” he continues, still low, still soft. Managing a small smile, he whispers, “You can do all of those things and still be happy, away from him.”

Forgiveness is earned. They will never earn it from Slaine, they do not deserve it.

“They.. keep saying.. Her family keeps.. that I should..”

“.. you don’t have to,” Inaho repeats, and then, softer, “You never have to go back. You like it here, don't you?”

Where you’re safer, happier, with real friends and far away from those people.

“I.. like it, here.. with you.”

They fall silent.

Inaho's gaze flickers downward, to their hands. The blond's touch is warm against his skin, and it tingles, kind of; it tingles in a similar way his heart does when it catches. “Can I.. ask you something?” he asks softly, dark eyes lingering on the scars on Slaine's wrists. They are visible from this angle, irritated and scarred over pink standing out between white.

Each time he sees them, it is a new sort of hurt.

Things could have been different, for Slaine. If Saazbaum and Orlane had just been allowed to take him home with them, to care for him all those years, things could have been different.

“.. go ahead,” Slaine prompts, voice low.

“When you.. when you hurt yourself, how.. how many times did you.. try to..” Inaho is unable to finish, the words stuck in his throat. It is another question he should probably not be asking, but one he wants an answer to, nonetheless; if it means figuring out how to get Slaine to stop, then..

If it means understanding him, then I..

A pained smile pulls at Slaine's lips. “It was.. it was about.. a dozen, or so,” he murmurs, and that causes Inaho's heart to ache more than it ever has.

A dozen attempts. In their care. And no one except Slaine's parents had tried to help.

“I didn't hurt myself.. because.. because the pain felt good, or anything..” he continues, still using that soft tone, “It – it hurt, terribly, each time, until I lost consciousness, and.. and I never.. never once lost consciousness permanently..”

Because they'd take you to a hospital and patch you up.

“I only did it when things got.. when they got.. too difficult, when I wanted to – to disappear, I'd..”

The words come staggered.

It will never be easy, talking about this. The trauma will stay with Slaine for the rest of his life.

Inaho rests his free hand over Slaine's, gently smoothing it, whispering patiently, “Take your time.”

It does not matter how long it might take for Slaine to get the words out. Minutes, hours, days – it is irrelevant when Inaho is willing to wait as long as it takes, to do things at Slaine's own pace.

Nodding, Slaine breathes out and looks away from him. It comes out shaky.

They are alone, in Slaine's house. Orlane is off grocery shopping, she mentioned wanting to get everything ready in time for the party. Saazbaum is still at work.

They have time. If Slaine does not want to continue now, then they can do so later.

“.. I.. was.. only taken to a public hospital once,” Slaine whispers, “It was one of the rare times they left me by myself, with a maid. They locked up all the knives with locks on the drawers, and barricaded the medicine cabinets, so I.. I found a letter opener.”

Another pause.

Slaine bites on his lip, not hard enough to draw blood – another shaky exhale escapes his lips, and he shuts his eyes.

It hurts.

Aches, like an open wound that will never perfectly heal, like a bruise dangerously sensitive to the touch.

“I assume she called an ambulance for me. The shock of finding me must've made her panic, and.. she didn't think to call the person usually in charge of my care,” Slaine says, bittersweet now. “I liked her. Her name was Calina. When I woke up, she was there, and the doctors were with her..” he continues, the memory painful; it hurts to think about the past, about the few people that had tried to help him out of an impossible situation, “I begged the doctors to let me stay. I told them why I'd done it. They – they believed me. They said they'd call someone for me, and I was put on suicide watch. I did everything they wanted me to do. I was twelve, when that had happened.” Looking toward Inaho again, those teal eyes of his gloss over, heartbreak within them. It is familiar, vaguely; Inaho remembers what it feels like to be that hopeless, that desperate. “I stayed for a week. Until my parents adopted me, that was the best week I'd ever had.. Calina stayed, too, and helped me.. And.. at the end of the week.. he finally came, and said he'd be moving me to a private hospital.”

Inaho tenses when Slaine suddenly squeezes his hand, hard.

This must be among the worse of his memories. It must be something Slaine tried so hard to forget. The resentment in Inaho's heart deepens; should that man ever have the misfortune of meeting any of Slaine's new friends, he will be in for quite the painful greeting.

“.. in the end, I tore my bandages and removed the stitches and tried again. The doctors insisted I should stay there, and the psychiatrist I’d been talking to insisted that I needed help that she could give me,” Slaine murmurs, the words coming a little easier now, still terribly soft, “I think he had them fired for custodial interference, and paid off whomever needed paying to look the other way. Calina was fired, too, deemed unfit to take care of a single child that she was supposed to be watching. Every time after that, I made sure to cut deeper and deeper and hoped I'd stop waking up.”

Inaho freezes when Slaine leans forward and hugs him, caught off-guard.

It is warm, again. Careful. Slaine's nails lightly dig into his back, not enough to hurt, never enough to hurt, and Slaine trembles against him like a leaf caught in the wind.

“I don't – I don't understand why I didn't die, I.. I took sleeping pills once, and.. I still..”

The words are shaky again.

Inaho hugs back, pulls Slaine closer to him, rests a hand against the back of the blond's head.

It is warm.

Slaine is warm, and Inaho feels Slaine's heart beat terribly fast against him, going nearly a mile a second, thump thump thumping like a frightened rabbit.

“I don't understand, but I'm.. glad that.. that I'm here, with you and my parents and everyone..” Slaine whispers, sniffling softly. A few tears slip, despite attempts to keep them at bay.

They feel warm, against Inaho's neck.

Slaine is so warm, and he is alive.

Smoothing Slaine's hair, Inaho listens as the blond's irregular breathing slowly starts to even out, feels Slaine's heart calm against him with each soft, shaky breath. “I'm glad, too,” he whispers, sincerely grateful that Slaine is here, “Thank you.”

Slaine makes a sound, too muffled to hear properly.

They remain like that, for a few moments.

Inaho's heart feels odd, in his own chest. It has seized up in a different kind of way, feels like a rock that he cannot swallow. “Do you.. want to go to the park, tomorrow?” he manages to ask in spite of the feeling; it is hard to swallow his heart, and it goes down painfully.

The question is innocent. A suggestion, to spend their weekend together, to forget about the painful things of today.

It almost feels like he will be disappointed if Slaine's answer is ‘no’, despite the slim chance that it might be.

Usually, whenever they go out, it is the two of them as well as Inko, Nina and Calm, and though Slaine enjoys himself.. it is clear that the gatherings have a bigger drain on his energy and comfort. Inaho has noticed that Slaine prefers smaller gatherings, where he can perform and talk and rest as he pleases, despite being much more outgoing.

“It’ll be fun,” Inaho adds, and Slaine manages a nod, relaxing against him, grip loosening.

“Can I bring mother’s camera? For photos?”

You mean, ‘am I allowed to take pictures of us’?’

“You won’t drop it in the ponds?” Inaho teases, knowing full well there is no chance that would happen. There is a strap on it, a sturdy one, and since it is Orlane’s.. Slaine will obviously be as gentle and careful as possible.

The jab earns him the smallest bit of laughter, more than welcome after Inaho's painful question, “Of course I won’t!”

-*-

Inaho stands beside Slaine as the other crouches down beside the pond they have come to visit, watching as the blond dangles his fingers in the water.

It is cool outside, today. Cool enough that most people would shy away from the water, or at least avoid touching it. Inaho is keeping his hands in his pockets, content enough to simply watch as Slaine enjoys himself.

They have already taken a few photos together, with Orlane’s camera hanging from Slaine’s neck in its cloth case. Inaho expects them to be printed as soon as possible, and added into Slaine’s album. Perhaps Inaho should ask for copies, to show to Yuki, as proof that Slaine does, in fact, have fun.

Slaine has a warm smile on when he lifts his head, teal eyes brighter, warmer than they used to be. It is clear that he is trying not to laugh at the way the koi feel against his skin. It is lingering, the slightest amount of touch. “It’s warm, you know, and – and it..” Biting on his lip, he holds in another laugh, and Inaho notes the colour in his cheeks, the faintest of reds, the genuine happiness in his eyes. “.. it doesn’t tickle, that much..” he finishes, and it is clear that he is lying.

Indulge him.

Crouching down beside the blond, Inaho’s dark eyes flicker between the camera and the chilly water. Instead of dipping his hands in, he presses them to his knees, trying to remain steady at the pond’s edge. “Do you know what these types are called?” he asks, and Slaine thinks for a moment.

These koi are white and have spots of red and orange, shimmering and shining underneath the water’s surface. Their scales catch the sun when they break water, and underneath it, the constantly moving water casts an array of lines along their bodies. They are quite a pretty sight, especially when grouped together like this. They are rather large in comparison to other fish, and Inaho thinks this is Slaine’s first time being this up close to them.

“It was.. the name of a colour, right?” Slaine finally answers, smiling sheepishly.

It is only natural he has a hard time recalling. Unlike other colours, it is not common enough to be talked about in normal conversation.

“Yes,” Inaho says, nodding, “It’s ‘amber’. Their name means ‘red and white’, which..”

“Which is the colour you get when you combine the two,” Slaine finishes, beaming. Pulling his hand out from the water, he dries his fingers on his pants, though his teal eyes linger over the colourful fish in the pond.

Some of the kohaku koi slowly swim away, quickly losing interest, but some of them remain and linger, their dark eyes staring vacantly upward. No light shines in them, even with the water’s sheen. They seem to still be interested in the blond before them, even if he is no longer disturbing the water or feeding them.

“You look happy,” Inaho whispers, and that blush on Slaine’s cheeks darkens a few shades more, gaze slipping as he falls into a fluster.

Looking away from Inaho and the koi, Slaine pulls at his hair, trying to use it to hide his eyes and cheeks, though it is to no avail; the tips of his ears are reddened as well, and he is already starting to bite on his lip again, trying to hide another smile. “I.. I am..” he mumbles, bringing his knees to his chest, now, resting his cheek on them, “I’m really happy. Thank you.. for.. taking me..”

It is difficult to speak, again, and Inaho does not know why.

“Slai-..”

“Ina-..”

The two of them stop, and Inaho thinks for a moment that Slaine may become flustered again and clam up – instead, Slaine presses a hand to his mouth as he stifles a laugh, the fluster and embarrassment melting away. Clumsy accidents, blurts, are enough to get him laughing, just like those terrible movies they had watched last night.

Inaho falls silent at Slaine’s muffled laughter, reluctant to interrupt. There is no need to stop Slaine’s laughter with unnecessary talk.

“You’re – you’re really..” Slaine starts to say, only to trail off and leave the statement unfinished. A warm smile pulls at his lips, and the laughter slowly subsides, leaving him with a sort of relaxed happiness.

I’m really what?

Shifting, Slaine leans away from the pond, careful not to lose his balance. The fish will not take well to almost being crushed, should anyone fall in. “Do you want to take more photos, Inaho?” he asks, soft as he holds up the camera’s case. With his long sleeves and jacket, the scars on his wrist are harder to see. At least Slaine has not had to be soothed, today; he does not like it when people stare at the cuts. “The water would look nice in the background..” he murmurs, still smiling, warm, “I'll print out some photos for you.”

Inaho glances between the water and Slaine, again.

The koi are still near the pond’s edge, breaking the surface to try and get a better look at the case in Slaine's hand. Each deliberate movement seems to fascinate them.

“All of them,” Inaho says, “I want all of the photos.”

Slaine nods, easily agreeing; they have more than enough photo paper at home, and the camera does not need to be taken elsewhere since it does not use film. Unzipping the case, he pulls the camera out, and Inaho feels the blond's head against his own, a gentle pressure –

“Make sure you smile, this time.”

-*-

It had taken longer than it should have to realise what the feeling is.

Falling in love with Slaine is a mistake, albeit an unintentional one.

An error.

An slip-up, a blunder, an oversight, a slip, a misstep, an accident –

All other synonyms to describe the fatal flaw in his human programming die on his tongue when Slaine steps out of the dressing room, pale cheeks flushed red as he tugs at his jacket, his sleeves, his collar – tugging on anything to keep his hands occupied and to keep him from having to turn and face the mirror.

Inaho has never been in love before, let alone felt any romantic attachment to anyone.

Falling in love with him had not been something Inaho consciously intended on doing.

“You look nice,” he murmurs, and that blush on Slaine’s cheek deepens, crimson now.

Slaine remains standing before the other, refusing to even glance at himself in the mirror. “It – it looks too formal,” he says, slow as he meets Inaho’s dark eyes, “I can’t.. wear this, to father’s party.. No one will be wearing white..” Again, he pulls at his collar, trying to loosen it around his neck – it looks as if a bowtie or tie is supposed to go there, and thanks to Saazbaum, they definitely have more than enough money to buy either.

“You’ll stand out, just like you normally do,” Inaho tells him plainly, earning a quiet sigh this time.

Turning away from him and reluctantly looking toward the mirror, Slaine frowns, wondering why they had settled on a white suit out of all the choices available.

Most of the shop is full of the standard black and grey choices, only different due to different styles and assorted patterns that the fabric is made up of. There had been a red one that had seemed interesting, but Inaho did not like it; he said it looked too much like an army uniform. Slaine assumes he means the ones for the British army, the ones that resemble nutcrackers. There had been a blue one, too, that Inaho had said looked like the American naval force uniforms. Thus, Inaho picked out a white one – the only one he seems to like, and is also the only one that makes Slaine stand out even more than he already does.

“.. I think.. you look..”

There is a pause, and Slaine’s blush deepens further.

Inaho has never been very good with controlling his words, and that is clear even now – he continues to be embarrassingly blunt and honest, even if his compliments do not seem to be the best sounding ones.

Slaine has not forgotten how Inaho first complimented his playing – ‘You played nicely’, is not something most people would take seriously, some would even take it as an insult.

“.. really..”

“Just.. go ahead and say it,” Slaine mumbles, knowing it would do no good to try and stop his friend. Either Inaho says it now, or he mentions it later, in casual conversation with their friends.

“Beautiful.”

Though he had been expecting it, Slaine groans and covers his face, feeling the warmth of his own skin against his palms, wondering what the clerk and other customers must think of them. They are a pair of high school students in a high end suit shop, trying to buy clothing based on the whims of someone who does not seem as if he has even worn a suit, before.

“I think you should get this one.”

Slaine bites on his lip as he pulls his hands away from his face, too torn between being flattered or confused by Inaho’s compliments. The brunet is an enigma, and it is hard to try and think about what goes on through his head before words leave his mouth. Perhaps Inaho does not even think before speaking. “Why aren’t you trying suits on?” he demands, not wanting to be the only one to put up with this, “Father invited you to the department’s office party.. They're celebrating his one year transfer. I know you’re coming because Yuki’s coming.”

Inaho gazes at the other. “Yuki-nee has a suit for me at home,” he says, shifting on his small stool, “So I don’t need another one.”

“Oh?” Slaine questions, smirking, “And how old is it?”

This time, Inaho feels his cheeks flush, just slightly.

It is clear what Slaine is trying to get at.

Though Inaho is loathe to admit it, it has been quite some time since he has grown – the photos of him and Yuki at home are proof of that. Yuki has always been taller than him, and probably always will be, as well as Slaine, Inko and Calm..

He shifts further, glancing down at his shoes. Like Slaine’s, they have a small heel; they came straight from school and have not had a chance to change, not that it would help any. Even if Slaine wears flats, he is still taller. “.. you’re below average height, too,” he mumbles.

Almost immediately, the smirk slips from Slaine’s lips, a frown replacing the teasing playfulness. “I’m taller than you are!” he retorts, clinging to those few centimetres he has over Inaho, “And how do you – how do you even know that? I’d be average height if I were Japanese.. and still taller than you are..”

That last part comes out a mumble.

Inaho offers the other a small smile, knowing he has triumphed over Slaine this time around. “I Googled it,” he says plainly, gently tapping on his phone that is sitting upon a stack of shoe boxes. “Are you going to buy that suit?”

Slaine starts to pull at his sleeves again, trying to hide the small bit of exposed skin between the jacket and his hand. There is just the smallest piece of visible, scarred skin, and it seems as if he wants there to be none.

“I can ask the clerk for a longer jacket,” Inaho says softly, “They do alterations.”

Glancing toward him, Slaine hesitates, biting on his lip again. “You really want me to pick this one,” he murmurs, turning his hand over to look at is wrist, at the scars just barely visible where the jacket does not hide them. “If.. you try on a few suits, and get a new one, then.. I’ll buy this one,” he tells Inaho, softening.

A bargain.

Slaine knows Inaho will not get embarrassed or flustered, but at least he will not be the only one trying suits on and making a fool of himself. “I'll pick a few for you, and you'll try them on,” he says, smiling now.

“Alright,” Inaho easily agrees, standing up, glancing toward a nearby rack. There are none that are terribly distasteful, and he knows Slaine would not pick something horrible for him to wear, considering the party and all the people that will be there.. but Inaho is not fond of some of the colour choices. Perhaps they can talk about it before settling on one. “Pick whatever you want. I'll tell the clerk you'll be needing adjustments.”

-*-

“Smile,” Slaine tells Inaho, voice just under a whisper as he pulls on the brunet's arm.

“Aren't these family photos?” Inaho mumbles, glancing up at Orlane, who is standing behind them, with Saazbaum. “I can take photos with you later,” he assures the other, earning a small shake of the head.

It must be embarrassing, taking so many photos in front of so many people – the department is full of clothes officers and other personnel, and though Inaho has been here a few times with Yuki, he cannot remember everyone that works here. Slaine must be having a hard time, surrounded by unfamiliar faces; it is not often that he accompanies his father to the station. A good thing, considering they would probably worry upon seeing the scars on his wrists.

“I can’t smile on command.”

“You can try,” Slaine insists, pulling on Inaho’s arm again.

They look like quite the pair, standing beside each other – it had been tempting to pick out something equally flashy, something that would have made Inaho stand out.. Rather than drawing more attention to the both of them, Slaine chose the blue suit that they had seen before.

Apparently, Inaho does not mind the blue as long as it was not the one that Slaine wanted for himself.

“I’ll smile if you play for me, later,” Inaho tells him, glancing toward him and offering him a small smile. The performances themselves might be difficult to smile for, with the music tugging at heartstrings and filling the air with a melancholic feeling, but Slaine is still deserving of the praise and admiration..

.. and Slaine at least smiles, once he has finished playing.

Flushing, Slaine tilts Inaho’s head back toward the photographers, insisting again, “The camera, Inaho. Look at the..”

There is a flash.

The two of them look forward immediately, caught off-guard by the sudden snap of the camera.

Inaho tries to remain staring forward, tries not to tease and fluster Slaine anymore than he already has.

A difficult thing to do, considering it is one of the few things he can do without telling Slaine about his feelings.

“.. just.. smile at the camera,” Slaine mumbles, biting on his lip for only a moment, a second. One of those sheepish smiles pulls at his lips, threatens to break his annoyed façade.

Inaho manages another small smile and swallows his heart. It aches, but in a different way than usual; perhaps falling in love with a dear friend is not the most ideal situation to be in.

*

“You two are pretty open about it.”

Inaho raises his head first, catching Rayet's slightly familiar lavender eyes. “We're just friends,” he tells her, already knowing what she is trying to imply; Calm had mentioned the same thing earlier, amused by their antics when they had been taking ‘family’ photos together.

The insinuation causes Slaine to shift beside the brunet, his face flushing pink.

“Right,” Rayet murmurs, obviously not convinced. Still, she leaves it at that; it would do no good for anyone to make a scene during Saazbaum’s party. There is a small plate in one of her hands and a tiny toothpick in the other, with a piece of shrimp skewered on it.

“.. who invited you, Areash?” Inaho asks.

Orlane had told Slaine that he could invite whoever he wanted, knowing he would be uncomfortable at a party with nobody to talk to. Slaine invited Inaho. Inaho invited Inko, who naturally comes along with Nina and Calm, the three of whom Slaine likes and enjoys talking to.

The brunette frowns at him.

There is almost always a frown on her features. It has been awhile since her transfer, but, unlike Slaine, she has not become well affiliated with anyone in particular. It seems she is quieter, and prefers to keep to herself more. As far as Inaho has seen, she and Slaine have not even spoken to one another.

“Inko's girlfriend,” Rayet answers plainly, tapping the shrimp against her plate. A few flakes come off with each small tap, and it does not seem as if she will be eating the shrimp in their presence.

Nina.

“Why?” she questions, lavender eyes lingering over Inaho's face, “Don't want me hanging around?” A small smirk graces her features, and before Inaho can, Slaine responds instead, shaking his head.

“You know that isn't true,” Slaine says; it comes out quickly, and Inaho finds himself surprised. Though he still seems embarrassed by Rayet's earlier comment, there is worry in his eyes. “Father and mother have been asking about you and your father.. You haven't come to see us since you moved..”

“.. you.. two.. know each other?” Inaho asks, earning a small nod.

The smirk on Rayet's lips remains.

Inaho ignores it.

From the basic interaction he has had with Rayet, it has become clear that she enjoys dry sarcasm and teasing people, and Slaine is so terribly easy to tease. A stranger could do it, on accident, by complimenting him.

“How?” he asks, not minding an answer from either of them.

There is only a slim window for when they could have possibly become acquainted with one another, let alone a chance for Rayet to meet Saazbaum and Orlane. Slaine is the oldest out of them and the only third year in their group; as such, he has been busying himself with practise exams and looking for universities to try and get into.

“Our dads worked together in England,” Rayet answers, glancing over toward where Slaine's parents are – they are talking with an older man with cropped hair, and a very loose jacket sleeve.

“I thought your parents lived in Germany,” Inaho says quietly, glancing between whom he assumed is Rayet's dad and Slaine. There seems to be something slightly off about Rayet's dad, but he cannot tell what it is, yet; he does not appear to be intimidating and Saazbaum and Orlane seem to be at ease with him.

“They did. My parents and my biological father and Rayet's father all worked for the same company,” Slaine says softly, smiling sheepishly.

Inaho knows next to nothing about Slaine's biological parents. Neither Saazbaum or Orlane talks of them, and Slaine rarely mentions his biological father, the other week had been the first time Inaho has heard of him in months.

“There was an.. accident, at the work site.. My father died, and.. Rayet's father..”

“Missing an arm,” Rayet supplies, gesturing toward him, “Better than the alternative, though.”

Slaine shifts, looking away from her.

Inaho glances toward the man in question, That's why his sleeve..

“What happened?”

The two foreigners remain quiet for a short moment. They share a small look.

Pain flickers across both of their features, and Rayet’s gaze slips from Slaine to the tile beneath their feet, white and shiny and reflective. It it were not so dim, it would almost look like a mirror.

“If.. if I hadn't been sick that day, then.. father and mother would've.. they could've.. too..” The words come out too softly for Inaho to catch them all, but they sound relieved, despite the circumstances.

Inaho can understand.

It is better to have someone, as opposed to having no one at all.

Yuki used to be incredibly sad, after their parents died and they were sent off to an orphanage for a few years. Inaho cannot remember a single thing about them; it happened far too long ago. Yuki does, though. She talks about them sometimes. Inaho wonders what it must feel like, wonders which is better – not remembering or knowing, or remembering the loss and having no one to fill that void.

Inaho and Yuki have each other.

Slaine has Saazbaum and Orlane, but he could have had no one.

Rayet could have had no one.

Pushing either of them will not get him any more information on the topic; it is still traumatic, probably, and Inaho is not all that interested to see Rayet angry.

“Slaine, we're taking a walk outside,” he tells the blond, pulling at his hand.

It is still cool outside, with an annoying chill in the air, but he does not intend on being out for long; he only wants to escape Rayet's view, so that she will leave them be.

“E-eh.? Ah, w.. wait!” Slaine cries, taken off-guard when Inaho starts to walk away; Inaho's grip is tight on his hand, firm, and while it does not hurt, it leaves Slaine little time to react. “Don't – don't forget to say hi to my parents, Rayet! I'll see you later!” he calls as they walk away.

Inaho spares Rayet a glance. There is another one of those smirks on her lips, and it is hard to ignore the gnawing, knowing feeling in his heart. “Enjoy the party,” he mumbles, wondering how she had managed to figure it out.

*

“You – you didn’t have to.. to.. walk so quickly, you know.. I don’t have.. as much.. energy as you do..” The words come out slow and staggered between soft breaths, a white fog following after each one.

Inaho shifts beside Slaine, careful not to touch the cold, metal railing on his other side. “I’m sorry,” he apologises, genuine; he had not meant to push Slaine, he had only wanted to avoid Rayet’s comments and keep Slaine from being flustered.

It should only take a few moments, hopefully, for Slaine to regain himself.

A sheepish grin pulls at Slaine’s lips, and he glances toward the brunet. There is a playful look in his eyes, and his cheeks are flushed pink; it is hard to tell if it is from exertion or something else. “Did.. did you.. want to be alone with me, that badly..?” he teases, words still coming out a white fog.

“Maybe I did.”

It comes out a mumble.

Inaho does not realise he has even said anything until Slaine’s eyes widen in surprise, the admission catching him off-guard. Inaho's tongue feels like lead, heavy in his mouth and it is difficult to speak with. Parting his lips to say something, trying to remedy what had just spilled, he stares at the other for a moment, silent and at a loss for words.

They come to him seconds later.

“I.. didn’t mean..”

Slaine leans over, resting a hand on Inaho’s knee.

Inaho goes still when Slaine presses a kiss to his lips, warm and soft and gentle, and –

Slaine pulls away when Inaho does not reciprocate, confusion and hurt flickering across his features. “S.. sorry, I – I shouldn’t have.. That wasn’t.. It didn’t – didn’t mean.. I must’ve been – been mistaken..” Tears well up in his eyes and he moves to pull away completely, stopped only when Inaho grabs his wrist, over the initial shock. “Ina–..”

It is his turn to freeze when Inaho pulls him back into a kiss, taken by complete surprise.

It takes a moment to register properly.

Inaho is kissing him.

Inaho is kissing him back.

Inaho is kissing him because he wants to, too.

When it finally does click, Slaine realises that neither of them are quite sure of what they are doing – the two of them are clumsy, and they bump their teeth, and Inaho’s grip on Slaine’s wrist slackens and loosens with each slow passing second.

It slips completely, after a moment.

Slaine closes his eyes when he feels Inaho’s palm against his cheek, gentle. Unsure of what to do with his hands, unsure of how to kiss back, he manages to reciprocate the pressure as best he can, tries to remind himself to breathe.

Breathe, whilst somehow figure out how to kiss the person who wants to kiss him, but also has no idea how.

Inaho’s lips are warm, against his own. Chapped. The clumsy kisses are not as gentle as Slaine’s had been; they are firmer, more enthusiastic.

They are childish.

The two of them bump their foreheads together between clumsy kisses, unable to figure out which way to tilt their heads, and Slaine finds himself getting very dizzy very quickly. The kisses are small and short, just enough to linger, and does not leave much room for taking in a breath.

Pulling away when he cannot breathe anymore, he presses his head to Inaho’s shoulder.

No one has ever told him that kissing requires practise; they did not say how clumsy it would be. In all of those movies, those books.. the way couples talk about it, they make it seem so easy.

It is anything but.

Even their simple, clumsy pecks are much more difficult than they had initially appeared, especially when both of them are confused and surprised and excited –

“I don’t know how to kiss you,” Inaho says, pulling Slaine into a hug, not wanting him to get the wrong idea again. Waiting to reciprocate Slaine’s earlier kiss, despite the shock, had nearly broken the other’s heart, made him doubt and hurt.

Slaine hugs him back, slow, and lightly digs his nails into Inaho’s back. Relaxing, he breathes out softly, and it comes out a white fog again, his heart a nervous wreck as he tries to process what had just happened. “I.. don’t know how to kiss you, either,” he admits quietly, laughing as he rests his chin on Inaho’s shoulder, presses their cheeks together.

It is warm, again.

Slaine is always so warm against him, despite the small trembles, the shakiness. Inaho finds it more difficult to remain still for so long, despite having become used to Slaine's embraces; it is even more difficult after what had just happened.

Gently running his fingers between tufts of Slaine's near-white hair, Inaho breathes out, wondering if the blond can feel his heartbeat.

It beats and beats and beats, hard and fast just because he had accidentally fallen in love with Slaine. It seems like it has happened so quickly and unexpectedly; Inaho did not realise love would feel like anxiety, sometimes, or feel terrible or make him sick, all while making him warm, excited, afraid.

Inaho's heart is a rock in his throat, a hard lump to speak over, something that that threatens to catch and spill over every word he wants to say. ‘I fell in love with you a few months ago,’ are some of the words, an admission.

“We’re – we’re not just friends.. are we?”

Slaine's question comes impossibly soft with the slightest hint of teasing. It is mostly laced with scared uncertainty.

Inaho swallows his heart. It goes down, hard, settles in his chest still beating impossibly fast. It feels nervous, wondering what Slaine might possibly want to be, what Slaine wants to do with their feelings.

Still. In the end, it is up to Slaine to decide whether or not he is ready for something like this.

“.. what do you want to be?”

Relaxing further against the brunet, Slaine breathes out, soft, his own heart managing to correct itself and beat properly, slowly. Adjusting himself, he hugs Inaho closer, relishing every warm second. “Together, with you,” he finally says, tone still low, “I want to be with you.”

*

The students are quiet as they sit at one of the department’s tables, eager to see whatever is in the box Saazbaum had just handed Slaine.

It is entirely made of cardboard, and it is plain, with no markings or tape or stickers on it. Its flaps are neatly folded inward, shut to hide the box’s contents. Setting it down on the table, Slaine turns it, taking care to be gentle with it.

Orlane and Saazbaum have often brought home gifts for Slaine, but they are mostly all small things, like plants, or oil, or wood polish, or new tools needed to keep Slaine’s violin in top shape..

Once, they did bring home a relatively large pot for a bonsai tree. The tree itself is red, and Slaine seems to be fond of its presence. Inaho is unsure if Slaine's parents got the tree for him as well, or if Slaine bought it himself; the pot was empty one day and filled the next.

“Open it!” Nina urges excitedly, beaming as she sits across from the other blond, green eyes warm.

Slaine flushes and nods, taking care to remove the first flap gingerly, trying to be gentle with whatever it is his father had gotten for him. It is a little embarrassing, receiving a gift at a party that is supposed to be meant for him, for his father’s hard work throughout their year of living here.

Inaho watches his new boyfriend, glancing between the box and Rayet, who has not stopped smirking at him since he and Slaine came back inside about fifteen minutes ago. The foreign girl has yet to say anything, at least, though he doubts that she will keep quiet for long. Hopefully, she will have the decency to ask in private, away from the others and their curious ears.

“Oh..! Th.. this is..” Slaine immediately starts wiping at his eyes with the sleeves of his jacket, trying to stop the hot tears that well up.

Leaning over to glance inside the box, Inaho blinks in surprise upon finding the familiar sight of a violin case.

This one the same white shade with the same yellowish lining as Slaine’s own, but newer. Presumably, there is a new violin inside the case, and Saazbaum did not just buy Slaine a new case; Slaine has mentioned before that both his case and violin, while in remarkable condition, are almost seven years old.

“It’s a case,” he tells the other students as Slaine pulls his hands away, the skin around his eyes reddened now from the rubs.

“Ah..!”

“Can we see?”

Nodding again, Slaine removes the case and pushes the box aside, carefully resting the case on the table before them. This white case is shiny and free of the stickers that his other case is decorated in. It is not scratched, either, and lacks any small dents; it is in perfectly new shape. Try as he might, it was inevitable that his old case would get the tiniest of defects over the years. Though he is obviously gentle and cautious with everything he is given, he can only do so much without seven years taking its toll.

The students fall silent again as Slaine unfastens the clasps and flips the top half of the case over.

The violin inside is stained a lighter shade of brown than the other one, wood glossy, untouched, its strings in pristine shape. Inaho still does not know about all the assorted parts and names of the violin, but it is immediately clear that this one is different. The topmost part is far more detailed than Slaine’s seven year old one is, more intricate; there are tiny flowers carved into this one, and they are beautiful, stained and shiny like the rest of the wood is. There are details between the pegs, too, with a large, carved flower being the most detailed.

Slaine gently runs his fingers along the strings, and then twists some of the pegs, just barely enough to be noticable; it will need to be properly tuned later on. “This is.. really..”

There is a small shake in his voice, and he lightly bites on his bottom lip as he glances upward at Saazbaum and Orlane, who are smiling warmly at him, seemingly proud of themselves for catching their son so off-guard. “Th.. thank you, very..” The rest of the words do not come out, they are stuck on his tongue.

“Why don’t you tune it and play something before we clean up and go home?” Orlane suggests, tone gentle and low. According to Slaine, Orlane is his biggest fan; it was she who suggested he keep himself occupied with something, all those years ago, and Slaine once mentioned that Orlane and Saazbaum are responsible for his lessons as a child, they encouraged him to continue to pursue it and paid for them even before Slaine was placed into the care of that family.

“Alright..” Slaine murmurs, smiling to himself, “What should I play..?” Fingers continuing to linger on the violin’s strings, he gently strums them, the sound not quite coming out.

Inaho rests his cheek against his hand, whispering, “A love song.” It comes out a bare whisper, just low enough for only Slaine to hear, and he cannot help the tiny smile that pulls at his lips when Slaine flushes pink.

“.. okay,” the blond mumbles, twisting the violin’s pegs increments at a time, keeping his own tone barely audible.

They want to wait to say something, wait until they have some privacy, so they can speak to Saazbaum and Orlane first, and then Yuki, and then their friends. Slaine had seemed excited to talk about it, embarrassed and flustered at the same time..

Slaine kissed him once more before they came back inside.

*

Love is unfair.

Pressing his hands to his lap, Inaho remains quiet as Rayet offers him small, sideways glances, that knowing look in her eyes again.

Keeping his eyes forward, he tries to focus on Slaine's playing; the notes come out so softly, low as they hang in the still, silent air. Most of the songs that Slaine plays – bar the obvious classics and whatever odd songs Calm suggests for practise – seem to be songs that must have played over the radio in Europe at one point, or have been popular, sung by some famous singer or one another.

It is nice, hearing Slaine play something light for once. Slaine’s fingers linger on the violin’s strings, pressing them firm to its neck; they thrum and shake with each miniscule movement, each shift in key.

Each movement is calculated. Careful.

The bow moves slowly along the strings, glides across as he plays; there is only the smallest sound that comes from the bow meeting the strings, the quietest sort of scrape.

Slaine's eyes are shut, and he has that warm smile on his lips, the genuine one, the one Inaho had fallen for. Even among dozens of people, he manages to slip into his own world; a world where it is empty, but not lonely, silent, but not frightening, and he is free to play as he wishes.

A love song.

Inaho breathes out softly, trying to calm his heart.

A love song suits Slaine far better than the sad ones, the painful ones; it is beautiful and Inaho wants to ask him to play similar pieces for him in the future, when they are alone.

It will be romantic.

It will be different, than the time they have spent together alone, before. A good kind of different.

They all remain perfectly silent right up until the end, when Slaine plays the last note.

It hangs.

The last note is soft, still. Warm. A little bittersweet. It comes to an end when Slaine pulls the bow from the strings a final time.

The room is silent, still, so so quiet until Inaho starts to clap, like he usually does; the others follow suit, jarred from their trance by the sudden sound.

It was awkward, when they had first met; Inaho was unsure if clapping for a one-on-one performance was appropriate or not. Slaine had said that any musician would be glad for any praise.

Bowing politely, Slaine slowly lifts his head, teal eyes warm and that sweet smile remains on his lips. Their eyes meet and his smile widens for a second until Saazbaum and Orlane step up to compliment him, beaming, proud of him.

Though their eyes met only for a second Inaho finds himself fighting back a smile that threatens to break his stoic demeanour.

Calm says something to him.

Inaho cannot hear it, too preoccupied with the warmth in his heart.

Rayet bumps his arm, and there is still a small smirk on her lips. Even so, she remains silent.

Inaho ignores her, gives his attention back to Slaine, who glances toward him again, looking happy, pleased.

Love is unfair.

All Inaho can do is offer Slaine the smallest of smiles, for now.

*

“I think you played beautifully,” Inaho whispers, and Slaine flushes, glancing downward at their hands.

Their fingertips are barely touching, and Saazbaum and Orlane are far too busy bidding the guests goodnight to notice, but it seems the simple, bare touch is enough to fluster him. Despite his fluster, Slaine does not pull away. “You always say that,” he mumbles, keeping his gaze firm on their hands, flushed cheeks barely visible in the dim, dim light.

Even as the minutes pass and it gets darker and colder, Slaine is still warm, and his embarrassed fluster only serves to make him warmer, with the blood rushing to his face.

Perhaps it will start to snow, soon.

“I always mean it.”

At that, Slaine raises his head, another smile pulling on his lips. Relaxing, he murmurs, “I know.” Sparing a glance toward his parents, the blond shifts, their fingers still barely touching. “What.. what do you want to.. you call us?” he asks, most likely unsure of which term to pick.

“Lovers,” Inaho tells him, and Slaine reacts immediately, shaking his head and flushing red. “My boyfriend,” he quickly amends, wondering if ‘lover’ might be too intimate too soon, “Is that alright?”

If he teases Slaine too much, the blond may shy away and change his mind, in spite of their similar feelings.

This time, he earns a nod, and Slaine relaxes again, gaze slipping. “You're.. my boyfriend,” he says, soft, visibly happy albeit embarrassed as the words leave his lips. Pulling away completely, he pulls at his sleeves, pulling them downward. “I.. I'm really..”

“.. me, too,” Inaho tells him, soft. With each passing second, his heart becomes more difficult to calm down, and it is not going to slow until he is away from Slaine. “I'll.. I'll see you tomorrow,” he says, stepping away from him, “I'll have Yuki-nee over by nine.”

Slaine nods, still pulling at his sleeves, embarrassed and ecstatic and relieved.

That small smile on Slaine's lips is worth everything to the brunet; it is genuine, warm, and it leaves his heart a pounding mess of what he assumes is what love feels like. It feels confusing, but so very welcome and comforting.

“I'll.. see you at nine, Inaho..”

Falling in love with Slaine had not been something he had expected.

It is the best surprise that he could have hoped for.

-*-

‘You can’t care an illness away’.

There is water dripping off of Slaine’s hair. Inaho watches as the droplets slide down tufts of Slaine’s near-white hair, watches as they linger like water on a faucet before becoming too heavy and falling down, meeting the wood almost too softly to hear. The droplets are kind of pretty. They catch the light shining in from Slaine's window before they fall and shatter.

Slaine catches him staring, and their eyes briefly meet. A small smile pulls on his lips, warm and genuine, and he sets his tin waterpot down on his desk, finished with watering his plants. “You couldn’t wait two hours to see me?” he teases, walking over and plopping himself down on his bed beside Inaho. More droplets slip and patter against the bed, temporarily darkening the sheets with his rough movements. “It’s still early.. We won’t start cooking breakfast for another half hour,” he points out, trailing off upon meeting Inaho’s eyes again. That smile of his turns sheepish, and his face flushes a warm red.

Staring at the other for a short moment, the brunet starts to lean forward when he sees some conditioner near Slaine’s ear, intending to wipe it away –

Slaine flinches.

It is just barely noticeable; it is the smallest of movements, and Slaine’s eyes are only shut for a second, his body only tense for a moment.

The two of them both freeze up when their eyes meet again, and Slaine’s smile slips and fades once he realises how he had reacted. “I..”

“Don’t apologise,” Inaho says before Slaine can get anything else out, “It isn’t your fault.”

You shouldn’t have to apologise for something that isn’t your fault. It’s their fault that you..

Slaine slowly relaxes as Inaho reaches forward, slower this time. “You’ve.. never touched my face, before..”

Inaho’s dark eyes glance between Slaine’s face and the conditioner as he rubs it into Slaine’s damp hair. It is nice, and it smells greenish, and Slaine’s skin is soft underneath his fingers. “I haven’t, no,” he responds, meeting Slaine’s eyes again, not pulling completely away from the other, “You’re soft.”

Slaine flushes again. The sheepish smile returns, and with Inaho’s hand against his cheek, he cannot look away that easily. “You’re warm,” he murmurs, leaning into the brunet’s touch.

Love isn’t a cure-all, no matter how much you care for someone.

“Can I ask you something?”

“You just did,” Slaine murmurs, unable to help but tease the brunet. “Go ahead,” he says, softer as Inaho traces a thumb under his eye. The touch is still warm, still gentle, and it sort of tickles; it is hard not to laugh even a little bit, with Inaho’s thumb lingering over his skin. It is an unfamiliar kind of touch, and it had first made his heart catch and stop and ache at the memory of what it used to be like, when someone would touch his face.

This does not hurt.

The sense of panicked urgency dies away at that realisation.

Inaho continues to caress Slaine’s cheek, heart already starting to ache at the question he has in mind; it is why he had come so early in the first place. “.. do.. do you.. still want to.. disappear?” he asks, voice a bare whisper.

“.. sometimes,” Slaine answers honestly, his own tone soft and low. There is pain on his features, a sort of bittersweet kind, and that sheepish smile remains. Still, neither of them pull away from one another. “It's been better, lately,” he says, looking genuinely happy, despite the question, the painful thoughts, “I don't think it as much as I used to.”

The weight in Inaho's heart lessens. Breathing out, relieved, he nods, glad that Slaine has improved since living here, with his parents, amongst new friends. “I'm glad,” he whispers, and Slaine's smile softens.

The heater buzzes.

Last year, it had been the air conditioning unit making sounds, when they had not known each other well. It had been soft. Awkward, for the both of them; they had barely known anything about the other, and Inaho is grateful that Inko had asked him to help Slaine home, even if their second meeting had not gone all that well. That had been the day Slaine told him that they could probably be friends, that he wants to disappear. That had been the day Slaine had first played the violin for him.

Slaine breaks the silence. “After, um.. after breakfast, do you..”

A change in subject. It is probably best not to dwell on bittersweet thoughts, especially when they will be talking with Slaine's parents and Yuki soon; they do not want to give the wrong impression when they are happy with the change in their relationship.

Though the change may come as unexpected, Inaho is sure the three of them will be nothing but supportive.

“.. go.. date..”

Some of the words are lost to Slaine's mumbles, but what comes out is enough for Inaho to get what he is trying to ask.

Inaho returns the small, sheepish smile still on Slaine’s lips. “Yes,” he says softly, nodding, “I’d like that.”

[schmedterlingfreud]

🦋 Day [9 of 100] of Productivity 🦋

Writing: Currently working on Chapter 17 and 18 of Effetto Luna. Chapter 19 is gonna be B I G, and I'm pretty excited about it. I can't decide: should I write it now, or should I wait until my august vacations, when I can spend all my days just focusing on my writing, reaching the perfection? What should you do, uurhg? Feeling inspired, productive and all, I kept going on with the "Meduse a centinaia" scheme, adding all the details and dialogues and scenes I felt to write. Same with "Lucignolo", even if it's gonna be the last story of the saga and the further one. I'm gonna take ages, but damn it, I'm gonna finish this thing! I'm gonna keep writing all the ideas, building the schemes, so I won't forget everything when the time to write the definitive draft will come. Moving from my old home is doing me good things. I feel more relaxed, comfortable, and my writing energy is heating slow and well, cooking all the ideas without burning me up. During the past months, I was not doing good. Sitting at my desk, opening the writing files, I used to feel my head heavy and my temples burning and pulsing, my thoughts like a wasp swarm. Now I'm doing better. I write calmly, my head is light and fresh, like a flower garden, and breathing is easier. As always, I keep iced coffee to sip during work, but I don't feel the guilt stabbing me if I just want to stend up and walk out in the balcony for a breath of fresh air. Thank you to all my readers to stick with me. I will try my best, I promise.🍀

Reading: The House in the Cerulean Sea - T J Klune Please, don't disappoint me. I just finished Turtles all the way down by John Green, and it was so bad, sigh. Listening to: Highway to Mars - Beast in Black Snacking on: Iced coffee and licorice candies. I should reeeally cut out my daily sugar intake, but it's so hard, and I always need a treat, you know, and I also bought some cheap gelato that was surprisingly delicious -- Crema Fiorentina flavour with amaretti on top. *chef kiss* Extra: Summer is going hard, sun heat is breaking all the records, but yesterday rained and days are bearable again. No overtime work on this weekend, yeah! I bought three new pencil cases and a rainbow doormat -- maybe I can show you nex time, okay? 🌈

[astroesther]

ARIES SEASON, THE CROSS, THE FINISH LINE, THE BEGINNING

Aries season starts with Mercury in Aries, Venus in Pisces, and Mars in Aquarius. The Moon is hanging out in Leo for the first day of the spring equinox. I foresee warm weather, lighter nights, and a feeling that everything is going to be okay. But why is there so much underlying tension?

The Full Moon eclipse in Libra on the 25th of March why, this is a highly emotional fated time, so whilst things may look good externally there is a sea storm happening with you so you are feeling sea sick. Whilst the storm rages on and it has to, in order to elevate you. I will go into details about the Full Moon in a separate reading, but for Aries Season the Libra full moon sets the tone for the rest of your time during this season.

Moon Square Jupiter and Uranus

Are you taking on the big guys? Do you have what it takes? Do you have the power to overcome?

Let's delve deeper into the season. Aries is fast-paced and busy. The world around you will appear bustling as everyone is busy doing things and going places. The energy is fun, light, and busy. Take things lightly and as they come. You are reaping the rewards of seeds planted six months ago, so this is a time to be in the play and not plot and create. It is about the new, the experience, the present moment.

The Cross, we have Easter weekend, which will come and go. The Finish Line, our Libra full moon, is balancing out power and redistributing it to us, the people. The Beginning is you looking at the next six months towards the end of the season. You will plant new seeds in Taurus season, and also water the seeds that you planted late last year. It's time for you to review your New Year's resolutions

How will Aries Season be for each sign?

Aries, happy birthday, it's finally your season. You may not be in the mood to celebrate the way you would normally celebrate your birthday. We (it's my birthday too) are having a thoughtful, mindful, and introverted birthday. What I mean is, it's not about filling up your schedule with activities. I see a simple, fulfilling day doing something like watching a movie at lunchtime, sitting in your fav cafe spot and sketching away, or looking for something memorable to do - what you REALLY want to do, not what you are supposed to do. Easter weekend is bringing your hobbies alive, your inner child is beaming, or simply, you may spend time around young children which will make you beam from ear to ear. Family and playtime is around you. The Full Moon in Libra is lighting and sending a lightning bolt to your 7th house, it's electric and buzzy. I see partnerships taking form around your work, help being offered to you, and contracts being signed. The beginning Aries, as your season gets going into Taurus season, you are already feeling the lazy, chilling out vibe from your neighbour. I do see things that were planted 6 months ago coming back around. This is around beliefs and dreams.

Taurus, Aries rules your 12th house, therefore Mars rules your 12th and 7th house. Even though it's spring, you guys don't feel the vibes of the season until your season begins. You are still in hibernation mode, running on reserve battery or being on auto pilot. I believe that you want to preserve your energy. It is your power and you, more than anyone, understand the exchange of energy and you're worth. You know how to rest, do nothing, and preserve and store your energy. You know you're worth (you can teach Aries, Virgo, and Cap a little thing about this) and won’t move until you have to, for the sake of it. So yes, it's not time for you to get up so you will enjoy your time where you are. You can lay all day every day without feeling bad. The Cross, Easter weekend feels emotional for you. You are feeling deeply reflective this time and want people to be easy with you as you are in a fragile reflective state. Rest up, it doesn't matter what the world around you is doing, you will know when you feel ready to join the world again.

Gemini, Aries has awakened your feisty side, as you roll your eyes at me for giving credit to another star sign for who you are. I believe that you have been in your plotting and planning phase and waiting for the time to take action. This Aries season is showing you the possibilities if you take that path that seems like lunacy, but this is the only thing that you can think of to do to get you back on the path that you desire. By Easter weekend, you will be in good spirits. I think all the signs will be, to be honest. Something that was causing a lot of pain and anxiety has lightened up, or you have decided to see yourself as bigger than it. So once the full moon comes along and you are provided with choices to make, you already made your decision with your actions and the Universe sees this and allows for things to manifest for you. As we get into April, you are super positive and happy with your new start and choice.

Cancer, the Sun is transiting your 10th house of career, reputation, and public life and is linked to your 5th house of family, romance, and fun relationships. I see a vindication in how those around you see you. Your reputation restored and respect given to you. I see this Spring as a start of a golden period for you. The turbulent times have gone and you are entering a season of enjoyment. Important contracts to sign are coming your way, Cancer. I am seeing imminently. The Full Moon is a smooth journey for you in contrast to the last year's emotional rollercoaster. However, as Taurus season approaches, another hurdle to overcome looms on the horizon as a new chapter begins for you. You have to lean into new learned skills to help you climb this mountain.

Leo, the sun is transiting your 9th house of higher learning, travel, and religion. The sun's transits are always significant to you as you are the sun is your north star and you will always be looking for ways on how to extravert yourself. This transit is an introspective one for you. Maybe you are looking into new religious studies or finding faith, realising that you do not have an internal faith point or compass to lean on and that you rely on your external world to reflect back to you inside. This has been where you have gone wrong as the inside has all the keys. Easter weekend feels like a somber affair. Your inside is somber and sad and you are looking at where this comes from. Don't stop at the sadness, keep going deeper inside yourself. As we approach the full moon in Libra in your 3rd house of community and siblings and with the new year underway, I see new growth taking place as the things that were stunting your growth have been removed.

Virgo the Sun is transiting your 8th house of the occult, emotional depth, and secrecy so what is it shining a light on and reflecting things back to you, this season is asking you to pay attention to those relationships that are triggering to you, what does the person do that reminds you of something or a part of yourself that you cannot see clearly. Easter weekend brings you clarity on a situation where you can finally resolve it within yourself and let it go the Full moon in your second house kicks off a new start and phase, like a health kick or a journal phase or a work out class that you become obsessed with your a new hobby that becomes your personality.

Libra the Sun is transiting your 7th house, where you normally lay your sweet head, but you are in the spot light and its your turn to watch others where you were a few months ago, or even years ago, with enough distance you can now see the past for what is was and forgive yourself perhaps? Easter weekend takes you on a whirlwind of emotions particularly regret and recking your mind thinking of what if, those what ifs will drive you mad if you let them. The full moon is in your first house of yourself, this time you take centre stage with having to make a decision, you know there is only one decision, do the hard thing.

Scorpio your 6th house is being highlighted this season of the day to day living the small, micro which affects the macro, take care of the small things and the universe will take care of the big things. The small things being having 3 meals a day, drinking lots of water this will get you over the finish line. Easter weekend brings showers weather rainy days or not literal its a clearing out and washing away of the old which touches onto the full Moon in Libra arriving in your 12th house more things being illuminated and cleared out where you would not have normally seen it. This is in reference to your physical reality and not spiritual or internal reality but it puts the chips in your hands to make the next move.

Sagittarius your 5th house is being highlighted this Aries season alongside your 12th house which is mars ruled, this season you may feel like you want to get back into the gym or fitness, joining a running club, its time to get physical for you, you don’t want to think or plan or feel, you just want to take action and move all the energy in your body. Easter weekend brings a bit of family stress but it will blow over and the full moon hitting your 11th house of groups and earned income brings a need to balance all the opportunities that are coming in for you, towards the end of the season you feel brighter about your future.

Aquarius this Aries season has you in a happy place, lighter than you have been in a while ( tell cap!) and with the sun transiting your 3rd house and you are feeling chill and happy to be seen to relax to enjoy, no anxiety or doubt. Easter weekend weekend is a good weekend, you guys really feel like you have lit a spliff and are chilling, nothing is phasing you, the waves may crash onto you but you are simply not phased at all. The full moon is in your 9th house but you don’t care lol, you have really hit a sweet spot of calm and this message is affirming your choice of switching off from the noise and just watching everything unfold.

Pisces , last but not least, the whole world in your hands my loves this sun transit is in your 2nd house of your self worth and money earned, you are thinking of ways to really take your creative work seriously in a way that you can build a career in it, you have a lot of rightful fear around it but so what, just try it out it won’t suck that bad if you fail, and failure is really just a learning curve my loves. Finish that painting and get started on the next one, they are eager owners ready to buy what you have created you just have to find them. Full moon is in your 8th house of other peoples money and this is linked to your creative world becoming your work others want to find and buy your creativity do not martyr yourself and give it for free. which ties back to your 2nd house of values and money earned, what are you worth? take that number and triple it. 

[thesecretattic]

Another Bizarre Incident + something about Aditya at the end

I have no other option than dying thanks to his/their unwantedness, he himself had come go through the signs I’ll die while saying this that since he was also interested and we shared those signs till the very end I deserved a chance instead of getting rejected that too unequivocally due to superficial reasons. I have lost 8+ years of my life from 2015 bed ridden all alone abused at home crying and then his torture. I still remember frantically texting him my link (in 2018-19) again signs and coincidences I was scared that he’ll react in a very bad manner pls read my post which says how it has impacted my health and mind and BRAIN (physically) and he did he reacted in such a hostile dismissive way that I almost fainted my mother on the other end was torturing me to death, this is what my life was all about pls read everything from at least Jan-Mar 2023. I wanted to get hypnotherapy done to forget everything related to him after finishing my book and getting married to someone else but there was NO ONE he was my soulmate rest maximum are taken in today’s times i had told you it’s EASY for others NOT for me, he has made it impossible THEY ALL SEEM to share the same reason as him, I’m treated like an untouchable in India when one does something the rest COPY NO ONE WANTS TO EVEN TALK that is exactly what is going on and I feel like I’m already dead as if ppl can’t hear me, enough of innuendos I’m too sick I kept crying again

It occurred to me today that whoever was with him like his ex and all those who were close to him who were in his life, were very lucky they were the luckiest ppl on this planet. I wish I would’ve been exactly what he wanted, I can’t type much I’m coughing due to low pressure I am too ill that impacted tooth has given me an infection in my chest and all my head nerves have sensitised they are too tender and painful to touch. I wanted to share this incident - I was 15 and I was at the service centre to repair my 15 inch MacBook 💻 That area had a church and a cemetery right opposite that and lot of odd incidents have happened there with me and even my mother, she’s also a witness, there was a man who came out of nowhere and he was following me my mom and my brother when we were kids, he kept going everywhere we went, we crossed the signal to get rid of him my mother’s idea but he too crossed behind us and he kept crossing signals JUST LIKE US it was dusk after Magrib the cemetery was right there so I think it was a lost soul or it could be just some random old person with dementia, nonetheless I’ll share the other incident which is very weird, the weather is scary btw it’s like doom’s day is approaching and I’m too scared cuz I’m very ill so I get dreams where I see horrible explosions in the sky and the worst kind of thundering possible due to climate change threat, anyway we were at the service station (I was 15) my chest is quivering at the slightest sound while I’m writing this due to that infection and all the stress I had told u I will die I won’t be able to handle it. My book could’ve explained this incident but I’m dying with all the secrets, I had thought someone would ask me what the story was about but people are so boring, I was adding them for that contract marriage (I don’t think even platonic is possible for me so house mates one) and I thought if they’ll like the story and we’ll become acquainted with each other then we can try having that contract marriage (+ hypnotherapy) at times I feel like I want a normal relationship but my bf age is gone I was always that “type” and it’s too late, I really wish I would’ve been whatever he wanted, and now I don’t this anyone wud accept me, I feel like sharing a normal life with someone with complete “acceptance” for everything he rejected that’s the only way I’ll get my confidence back and realise that I wasn’t that unacceptable. He never wanted me, I was okay with the dark ugly pics (had to mention I realised he doesn’t actually look like that so u don’t have to assume he’s like those old photos the camera might be such) but I was okay with that and even when his fingers were looking dark again due to low res. camera and lights, inspite of the ring I was okay with that too and I cried so much I just never want to face him in real life I had stopped going to Malad in 2016 itself due to all that hate (repulsion) then I stopped going out and I haven’t left my room since 2017, I wish someone would’ve gotten me out of this exile, I never cared about the eyes and all I really don’t I never wanted this handsome or rose I wouldn’t have maintained a distance from fair and rich guys, I wanted to hold his hands in my thoughts as usual when I felt like I was dying or I couldn’t make it but now I can’t after the ring (pls read that story also it’s in my previous post) the devil killed one of the characters IN REAL LIFE I had Aditya singh’s screenshot in my hidden album it doesn’t have the death date cuz

he was alive back then, I had taken that cuz I had recently come across his profile I had not stalked though it was from Google that too because of the Singh Rajput surname from that show Pishachini I was making peace with the fact that it’s not Jayesh Rajput and that such surnames are common. Cuz I was insecure my name had come up with Harsh’s last name as Zara Rajput and there were several ZH even with heart (I have SHARED ALL EVIDENCE AND SCREENSHOTS in my previous posts) our initials and numbers (marriage related kept coming up) and now when I see that Aditya’s screenshot I feel horrible cuz it doesn’t have a death date, his SS was amongst all the hidden pics which have Jiya and Harsh etc. That too not many it’s all just evidence but not related to signs, just some of my rivals I don’t deem them as rivals he made them that but it just has their ugly shots (even other girls hehe) and a few other things which I clarified for my assurance. But his SS was amongst all this and he was a part of the story back then I didn’t even know he was his friend and one of the characters is dead now. At this point we should’ve been Serious, there’s a reason why he was killed read my prev post. It was for the ring which took away his hand from me. I can’t even hold it in my thoughts while dying my own hand is cold n numb n paralysed rn can’t type autocorrect mode I was okay even if those hands would’ve been actually dark like the pics I was okay I loved him so much I did feel like maybe someone should’ve accepted me in the same manner my hands are lighter (so are his or else he’ll blame me for lying it was just the camera) but the bottom line is I was okay even if it would’ve been real. I wouldn’t have wanted anyone else’s hands I was okay with them cuz they were HIS. I just wanted “Harsh” I have 0 confidence I feel like my story (if you’ve read that Anu Gupta part) doesn’t matter like I have no right to voice it or narrate it, I feel like I don’t have enough respect or ppl don’t want to hear from me they don’t want to know they are all dismissive like him, they don’t value me and I’m not going to quote unrealistic soliloquies such as “If they don’t value you find new ppl” WHERE ARE NEW PEOPLE? I’m talking about ALL PEOPLE. I’m getting wheezing had to share that “teaser” before dying tonight, I just wanted ppl to realise that someone like me also will have something worthwhile to say and we should be given a chance I don’t know what separates me from you, and makes me an untouchable unspeakable online too, no one LITERALLY NO ONE wants to associate or talk either they have too many ppl in their lives or they are just busy copying him, he was my soulmate but he DIDNOT want me so I was waiting for someone else and my posts do reach out ppl notice I even send friend requests to find someone but none of them want a “reject”. I have to die I can’t even heal from his rejection he meant everything to me, like I said all those who were with him were the LUCKIEST of all, I can’t do my hypnotherapy to forget that or move on with someone else (WHY SHUD I BE ALONE ALL OF YOU GUYS GAVE A SIGNIFICANT OTHER, it’s NOT my age to stay with my parents ppl get married and shift into their dreams homes I’ve seen several especially during Cov BUT my life has only gotten worse) it’s NOT normal their behaviour is not normal

If you are that conservative and you only want someone from ur HINDU religion then mention it on dating apps even that Taher who met me married some Gujju girl so Muslim guys don’t want us Hindu guys don’t want us or they only want money my OWN SOULMATE doesn’t want me, go thru the signs in prev hood posts, so what do they want? Its not about contract marriage someone should’ve actually made up for all those 10 years and accepted me the way I accepted him, inspite of his monetary status or lack of “popularity” (social status) complexion which was there in the pics or even looks (height and all even the double chin in 2014) I had to say that cuz I really wish I would’ve had someone like me for the first time I am saying “Like me” and not like Harsh. Why can’t all other men budge yaar? They only marry their mother a choice this is MODERN DAY INDIA? Yes mummy yes mummy waale dumb imbeciles, why can’t anyone man up and message? Flirt? Ask me out on a date? (You don’t have to flirt with others you can flirt with me all you want but only me) why can’t they ask if I need help with the book like a matured adult? Why can’t they APPROACH OR TALK TO A GIRL? They say na Sx is easy these days then where’s your spine? Can’t man up to even TALK? I’m done with this, what kind of boring c**ts do we have in India? They can sleep with those typical Lokhandwala behenjis who have that fake accent and same common “tone”, all those stupid bimbos they have a fetish they call them “cute” acc to them dumb girls are cute?!!

SHAME ON YOU can’t handle a bomb? Itna bada Tope hai aur bomb handle nahi kar sakta hai? This quote had come up for me “She’s fragile but now like a flower like a bomb” I had said another variation of my name means a flower and I never wanted to be recognised as that I’m not a flower 🌸 I’m not something that feminine or boring, I’m not some cliche representation of beauty, my spelling means light as a matter of fact and I’m happy about it.

I have no other option I am DYING DUE TO ALL OF YOU, had to share that bizarre incident to light the wick and drop that bomb before dying. - Zara Sauleh

[1111jenx]

spicier astro placements &

their culture 🤎🪴🤎

(part 2)

astro culture vol I — check my masterlist

🪴 fixed placements culture is randomly asking your friends if they would help you dispose a body and you say it in a dead serious face like-😀??? like uh ok i guess i'll drive nancy pick up the recycling bags💀 loyalty >

🪴 double earth sun and moon culture is being soft as fuck but no one shall know what. also will forever be idolized by others tbh

🪴 water venus houses culture is looking at someone dead straight in eyes and told them you love them and expect them to say it back immediately. ma'am you met them a month ago.

🪴 pisces placements culture is cleaning your room and finding your old diaries and as you read it you realize how it was a good idea for you to go to therapy loves💕

🪴 jupiter in the first culture is talking about a traumatic experience like its nothing like "LOL ya so i my mom told me to lie to my dad and i practically helped her cheated on him LMFAO why are u crying its okay it was lowkey funny though i'm okay now hahahhahaha". are u? are u really amanda😄?

🪴 mercury - lilith culture is waiting for the other person to finish going off on you and mentally drafting up a 50 pages long speech thats about how you will royally ruin their lives<3

🪴 aries placements culture is telling that one guy at the party you go to like "bro its your business i don't really care but i think your girl is fucking someone upstairs in the room next to the washroom anyways have a good night"

🪴 libra mars culture is overworking yourself every week and literally look crusty af but still somehow magically go on a reset every friday and just show up to places looking like a flawless mf sex god.

🪴 7th house stellium culture is lowkey being hella aggressive and brutal af to your closed friends watch you publicly humiliated them but highkey can't ever be mean to literally ANYONE else🥲

🪴 leo placements culture is highkey being VERY nostalgic people like you care so much about values and traditions don't lie;)

🪴 mutable culture is NEVER EVER being able to stay on one topic for more than 2 minutes your attention span is shorter than your ex d🥰jk

🪴 gemini mercury culture is crying for one hour and then realized what you just did so you just start to look at yourself in the mirror like oh my god i can actually mf cry?💀💀

🪴 aries moon culture is highkey being indecisive af💀 don't @ me i know you are

🪴 libra mercury culture is being the middle ground ALWAYS when it comes to small irrelevant things but when it comes to your own stuff you know you're a hypocrite like i don't even have to try to change your mind just watch them yelling at their s/o for an hour☺️

🪴 mercury-MC culture is not knowing what is it that u want to do 100% cause for you everything comes so naturally 🙏🏼

🪴 taurus moon culture is actually vibing so well with sagittarius moon??? like surprisingly well tbh y'all make the bestest of friends not gonna lie. one is a closet crackhead while the other is mentally in mars🥳

🪴 taurus rising culture is HATING it when people discuss your relationship like why do you care so much about who i'm fucking? mind your own business dawg🥰

🪴 libra placements culture is not sure which vibes you wanna do today. hm should i do 2000s ratchet baggy boyfriend's hoodie look or barbie dream house? 😀

🪴 gemini placements with libra risings culture is being the most lowkey people alive and you're highkey done with people thinking you're the "stereotypical" geminis💀

🪴 scorpio placements culture is lowkey psychic. like everything they say would lowkey become true its kinda scary

🪴 taurus venus culture is asking your friend "bro should i consider becoming a sugar baby you know how practically you don't have to sleep with them right"

🪴 taurus venus culture is either just fucking with you for the sake of their ego or literally simping so so hard

🪴 aries moon culture is looking at your friend dead in the eyes and says " bro idk if i can ever love anyone more than myself " and proceed to fall madly in love w a crackhead.

🪴 leo venus culture is being fiercely protective of your friends like instead of giving them a hug and a shoulder to cry on you're just going off like TELL ME JESSICA WHO TOUCHED YOU STOP CRYING TELL ME WHO WHO WHO. literally get urself a leo venus rn loves.

🪴 libra rising culture is literally exuding motherly vibessssss💀 is that why y'all are so careful w who you let in?

🪴 capricorn mars culture is telling peope ".... and thats why if i don't succeed professionally, i can never face myself in the mirror again"

🪴 air venus culture is laughing when people told you you're so emotionless like dawg what do you want me to do i drained all of em by investing them in my toxic ex😐

🪴 venus in the 3rd house culture is giving everyone relationships advice but cant get into one urself❤️

🪴 mars in 3rd house culture is rarely getting mad but when you do its bad bad omg someone calls 911 they might just burn down a building ngl

🪴 air mercury culture is literally your partner having to kiss you so you would shut up💀 stop talking for once loves

🪴 jupiter dominant culture is having an angel face and a heart darker than charcoal bro they be calculating af y'all literally push them to the end like they HAD to force themselves to stop trusting people too much. come here ily

🪴 venus in 12th house culture is having a literal imagined wedding with your idol in your dreams 24/7

🪴 aries rising culture is exuding boss bitch energy, exude hella good vibes but if you start to become all mean and weird they'll reciprocate in no time

🪴 lilith in the 5fth house culture is being SO FLIRTY but never let anyone hit fr people just gotta understand boundaries yk🤠😉 you go queens

🪴 lilith in the 3rd culture is charming your pants OFF but literally detach with the matter of seconds.

🪴 scorpio moon culture is generally having one of the worst resting bitch face on earth but the second they smile the whole world lights up:)

🪴 cancer moon culture is slamming the door at s/o face as you leave the room and scream "Go to hell" before dramatically exiting and literally an hour later texting them "hey wyd"

🪴 libra moon culture is lowkey control issues. y'all make people do things for you without them realizing they're complying i-💀

🪴 sagittarius rising culture is asking your local astrologer smth along the line like 😀cut the bs, tell me if i'm gonna be a millionaire pls can you look at my chart

🪴 pisces moon culture is saying no to drug and dying just a lil big inside. change my mind i never met one without slightly addictive tendencies or not highly experimental 🥳

🪴 libra placements culture is literally contemplating on how you dumbed it down so well people let down their guards so fast but they don't know that you saw everything 💀

🪴 10th house placements culture is asking people something along the line of "wdym you have no passion? so you're telling me you just want a normal life? why tho?💀"

🪴 virgo mars culture is being very big on gift gifting:") they know you so sooooo well

🪴 sagittarius venus culture is telling people how you can't fw partners who are too dominant like there has to be a certain level of introversion istg

🪴 sagittarius rising culture is highkey hella ambitiouss. the type of people that others tend to underestimate but you shouldn't think low of jupiter children boo everything be working out without them having to sweat their asses off

🪴 uranus in 4th house culture is literally start to get panicked when things are too easy like wheres the red flag?

🪴 cancer placements culture is having a minor panic attack everytime you get nostalgic about embrassing stuff in the past stop it💀

🪴 11th house placements culture is telling people how you respect everyones opinions but you know at the end of the day you aint changing your mind

🪴 6th house placements culture is being in LA but function in Asia Pacific Time like wtf y'all 💀

🪴 cancer rising culture is looking hella photogenic its like the camera wants to have your babies omg, also very good genes in the family smartasses😌

🪴 capricorn moon culture is overthinking and then becoming cynical af but sometimes you don't even realize you are like you're just "keeping it real." like no sarah. he texted you because he likes you not because he wants something from you 💀

🪴 virgo placements culture is feelings happy af when someone told you that they don't usually open up but with you it's different:)

🪴 capricorn moon culture is *chefs kiss* amazing self-awareness and fluctuating between extreme self hatred or immense ego never in between💀

🪴 mars in 10th house culture is telling someone "respectfully, i think you're wrong can you shut up for a second thank you" and thinks that you're just being straightforward i- HAHAHAHAHAH

🪴 aquarius moon culture is lowkey needing a lot of words of affirmation tho. like tell em if you appreciate them y'all its been hard

🪴 fire venus culture is always needing the "spark" in the relationship. the "magic element". deadass i swear to god if you don't sweep me off my feet with roses and chocolate right now boy, i'm heading out💀

🪴 7th house stellium culture is deep thinking about how you should phrase that one idea into something they can't use against you hmmmm what can it be

🪴 pisces placements culture is telling you friend when they're being rational smth like "bro i'm at a bad place rn can you just hype me up instead of making sense thank you"

🪴 libra placements culture is CRYING a waterfall when you're drunk and still look pretty as fuck like how?? how does that work what in the witchcraft

🪴 venus in the 10th house is being so rational when they shouldn't be??😀 actually are hella forgiving, more than you'd like to think tbh

🪴 leo and aries placements culture is teaching your friends how to let out emotions like "ok so my emotional outlet is just screaming and throwing shits around. first, you pick up the nearest thing around you..." 💀

🪴 venus-mars aspects culture is having the utmost potential to hoe around but you end up falling in love with all of em bye💀💀💀

🪴 mercury placements culture is being so organized deep down but also a hot mess. the type to show up to their driving test but thinks they're gonna be provided a car istg💀

🪴 mercury in the 9th house culture is being original af??? they love educated people too like omg you like to write poems? marry me rn

🪴 mercury-venus culture is falling in love with the hot nerds in their basement coding and investing in stocks instead of partying🥰

🪴 aries/capricorn placements culture is screaming at your s/o "how could you forget that? its like you don't listen how could you forget what my favourite colour is???

🪴 cancer moon culture is POSSESIVE possesive literally textbook possesive but your pride be too big to show it😌

🪴 pisces placements culture is falling for sense of humour.

🪴 leo moon culture is actually so forgiving?? lol if you know what to say they will eventually stop holding grudges and let you out tbh

🪴 libra placements culture is generally being super private abt their relationship at the start tho.. literally only starting to open up once they think its legit fr

🪴 double fire sun and moon cultire is your ride or die. will go to the moon and back for u😋

🪴 earth in the 2H culture is literally putting so much effort into securing the bag omg financial stability >

🪴 earth moons culture is lowkey wanting to settle down eventually and have a family tho🥺

Ahhh this one i wrote in 2 whole days and it was so fun writing this BAHAHAHA, i hope you guys like this babies<3 also, gimme a OWA OWA IN THE COMMENT⚠️🥳🥳

love,

saint jenx🪐

[hanjifuck]

.˚｡⋆ ༊ .˚｡⋆ stray kids ideal types - series .˚｡⋆ ༊ .˚｡⋆

bang chan version ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ

based on their birth charts! s2

✧*:.｡. t/n: i'll be using SIDEREAL astrology on this one. it's also important to say that when we talk about romance in astrology we have to fully analyse the couple's birth charts individualy at first and only then apply compatibility analysis so we're able to check out the synastry overlays.

✧*:.｡. t/n: kinda proofread. <3

the basics:

someone who has sun in virgo or in the 5th house;

aquarius and gemini moons are the ideal but aries moon is also great, libra is good, leo and sagittarius moons are a maybe. capricorn and cancer moons are absolutely a no;

venus in virgo, scorpio, cancer or capricorn;

mercury in virgo (or capricorn/taurus).

obviously there's way more aspects to look into to see if a relationship would work but i'd rather not go too deep into it right now.

a person who's patient and honest. he takes his time into getting to know you before he commits. so, when he does commit, there’s no room for him to change his mind. he's worthy of a romance novel. he will make sure that the bond is strong and stable for both.

someone who's good at communicating, reading people's intentions and has a good sense of humour. he tends to use his voice to express himself and he's such a sweet talker when it comes to romance. communication and intellectual rapport are his thing, so it's important for him to have someone who he can talk to. so good at covering it up his intentions or even lying (but you guys didn't hear this from me), except that he tends to tell the truth in almost any and every situation. he loves to tell stories and to see the smile and hear the laugh of the loved one.

a partner who's not afraid of commitment and long term relationships. listen to me, this man is looking for a soulmate connection, someone to pay him due attention. he's a romantic at heart and has a strong need for love in his life, it being his ultimate driving force, a passionate lover and he knows how to maintain the flame of true love. without love he would be nothing.

someone who knows how to talk to people and be pleasant during social situations.

someone who's highly vulnerable and revealing with him, ONLY.

a person who's adventurous. he does not know how to stay still, he wants to expand and has a hedonistic type of approach to how fun should work in a relationship. he can't be more happy then when his able to impress you with his creative side. if you like an intellectual approach to life you will love it as well.

a positive person, someone who's optimistic and make things seem easy.

an intense, bold, strong-willed and powerful person. would love a partner who knows how to stand up for themselves. he wants besides him a person who can make the world kneel in front of them.

someone who will do anything to seduce him.

someone who challenges him (in a good way, ofc). he loves to be dared as he sees it as stimulating, a reason to try even harder, to put even more effort in. he's prop to play mind games (maybe manipulating, even if it's not his intention, since he makes everything sound so wonderful). often fueled by curiosity and a desire to control/possess others for himself *only with those who he actually loves since he sees romance/sex as super meaningful, on a soul level thing, and focus 100% on the person he loves.

emancipated, educated and high intelligent individuals. a pretty face will never be enough, sorry. virgo sun in the 5th house? pfffff this man is a genius.

someone who's younger or appear youthfu/has a youthful personality. he needs a eager-to-learn-and-to-enjoy-life-with-him person. channie's prone to take up the dominant/leading role in a relationship as well. it's like he has this strong pedagogical (?) side to him (and once again my theory that he would be a teacher if he wans't in the entertainment business is proven right ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

a person who's not avoidant or keeps to many secrets. if you keep stuff away from him he may misinterpret things quite easily.

a partner who's as clingy as he is. channie does not stand being alone for too long. he needs your warm touch and gentleness.

a freedom-lover type of person, someone who seeks inspiration and fun. he's extremely motivated and light-hearted, very flexible and adaptative.

a person who knows how to encourage him. basically someone who knows his intentions almost better than he does. he has a need for validation and appreciation cus sometimes he fixates on certain ideias but doesn't have what it takes to go further with it.

someone who would enjoy having kids, taking care of them, educating them together, and is family-oriented. he would love to have a partner who's as excited as he is to mentally stimulate his kids. very inclined to having lots of children. he wants someone who has the potential to go all the way to the finish line. man's want commitment.

a person who's charming, "feminine", sensuous and romantic. he's not interested in a person who is crude. he has strong yang energy on his birth chart so it's a good thing if your chart is yin energized. the whole thing about lighting up candles, putting on some romantic music is important to him. may be enticed by a person who has an overly sexual appearance (SPECIALLY if you have scorpio sun or rising), femme fatales (the energy, not necessarily a woman) are just right for him. maybe someone quite mysterious as well.

someone who's painfully monogamy. you can trust him on remaining faithful, as long as his partner do the same. trust is important for him and when it comes to love, it's absolutely essential. if you don't want to lose him forever you shouldn't break his confidence. he rarely has any interest in casual encounters, not being the type to take different people home every night. loyalty is such a turn-on for him, cute. he wants to be only yours, so he expects the same from you, not wanting you to even look at other people. the more committed to him, the deepest his love is.

someone who's not shy. he’s a non-conformist, private person and rather do his own things, away from the public eyes. remember when he said he usually likes "dark things"? man wasn't lying. he knows exactly who he is and what he likes even tho society might shun him for it. however, he does not care. <3

a person who's devoted and dependable, who's also ready to work by his side. someone who knows how to handle his possessiveness and maybe even suspections. just be honest with him and patient enough to put him at ease, assuring him that he's the only one who deserves your attention and love. his jealousy may be really tricky.

okay, this dude has mars and venus conjunct pluto in scorpio. do you guys know what this means? i would DIE to make this man love me!!!!!!!!! help. he will be SOOO OBSESSED WITH THE PERSON HE MARRIES, IT'S INSANE KDISADJADNAUS HELP ME.

[watercolorfreckles]

The Villain and His Therapist - Pt 3

Part 1, Part 2

TW: PTSD episode

Juliet jerked awake, bolting upright in bed. Her breathing came in shallow gasps as she strained to catch her breath. Unease crawled under her skin like spiders and it made her hands shake.

She closed her eyes, working to quell the roar of her thoughts.

It was just a dream. Nightmares are a perfectly normal trauma response. Your body is just telling you what you need to heal from and releasing the effects of that trauma in the way it best knows how. Just a bad dream. Nightmares have no bearing on reality.

Only, it wasn't just a dream.

Her stomach twisted, plunging cold as she remembered the weight of Supervillain's scrutiny, the molten burning of his voice. Any time she stood still, any time she closed her eyes, she was back there again, tied to that chair...

The nightmares still danced behind her closed eyelids. She opened them again, rubbing her face.

When Villain stabbed Supervillain, it didn't sever anything vital. He lived. He was taken to the hospital...where he then escaped as soon as his condition stabilized.

Juliet was promptly thrown into Witness Protection, carted off to stay in a white-picketed house in a very normal, middle-class suburb far from home. She was given a new name for the time being: Jessica Stewart. It hardly held the same fairytale charm as Juliet Meadows, and she found herself missing the way it sounded on Villain's smirking lips.

She blinked as the thought registered, catching her off guard.

To her, the safe house felt empty and cold. While her home was filled with colorful trinkets and art on every wall, this one was bland and sterile in comparison. Clean white walls, wood furnishings. The lack of decor made it feel hollow. In the night, it felt as lonely and unnerving as a graveyard. The walls were thick with shadows. The darkness seemed to swallow her whole.

With a shaky breath, Juliet flicked the light on. A gentle glow washed over the walls, illuminating the space. Panic still clawed at her, so she looked around, dissecting every corner for anything that may be amiss.

She froze as she heard a light plink against the window. She stared at the glass, heart jumping into her throat.

Plink, plink.

Forcing her limbs to cooperate, she slid off of the bed to her feet. She padded across the space with tentative steps until she could peek out the window.

Her blood ran cold as her gaze fixed on a figure standing below. What if it was Supervillain- What if he'd found her and he-

Wait...

That wasn't Supervillain.

Opening her window, Juliet peered down at Villain. Moonlight pooled around him, highlighting his face enough for her to be sure it was him. She released a shuddering breath.

"Villain. How did you find me? What are you doing?" She blinked. "Are you...did you just throw rocks at my window?"

His smile caught the silver light as he tossed what looked like a pebble up into the air, then caught it again without looking. "It seemed fitting. You are Juliet, aren't you? I saw your light turn on, figured you could use checking in on."

She smiled slightly. "No one's supposed to know where I am. How did you find me?"

Villain took his hands out of his pockets to spread his arms wide. When he spoke, his breath clouded in the crisp air. "Doctor Meadows, I'm offended you have to ask that. I have my ways."

"You shouldn't be here."

He flashed a grin. "I do a lot of things I shouldn't."

She studied Villain, who looked up expectantly at her. With a sigh, she conceded. "Come around to the door."

Juliet shut the window and walked to the front of the house, opening the door. Villain stepped inside, his jacket slick with moisture, his hair damp and tousled by drizzle and fog.

He seemed to fill the space, making the room look smaller. In the dark entryway, he resembled his brother to an unnerving degree. The way the shadows caught the hollows of his cheeks and silhouetted the angle of his jaw.

She abruptly stepped back from him and turned the light on, chasing the shadows away. Swallowing, she looked at him again.

Villain's head was tilted slightly, observing her. As always, his defined attention prickled her senses.

She pictured the last time she'd seen him. His brother's blood spattered against his collar--blood he'd spilled for her--after Supervillain had suggested he loved her.

Juliet's vision swam and the world swayed fuzzy.

Warm hands caught her waist, steadying her. "Juliet?"

Villain's voice was uncharacteristically soft, sending butterflies swooping in her stomach.

"I..."

She sucked in a shaky breath, waiting for the world to narrow into focus again; into something solid and real and safe like it should be. It didn't. Her hands trembled.

"I...I can't breathe."

Juliet was distantly aware of Villain scooping her into his arms and carrying her to the couch, setting her down with care. He knelt in front of her. Her ears rang.

She heard the villain's voice as if from underwater.

"It's okay, you're alright. I'm here. Hey. Juliet."

The haze cleared a little and her eyes shot to him at the mention of her name. Villain brushed her hair back, his touch the only thing keeping her rooted in reality.

"You're okay," he repeated softly once he had her attention. He held her gaze. "Breathe in and out with me. Like this." He exaggerated slow breaths.

She mimicked him, keeping her eyes trained on him, zeroing in on the touch of his skin against her temple. She felt untethered, like she could watch herself float away.

"Okay, let's...let's try a grounding exercise," he said as if reading her mind. "Can you squeeze my hand?" He held his palm out to her.

Juliet took hold of it, giving it a squeeze. Her grip was weak and quivering. Villain ran his free hand up and down her arm to keep her present.

"Squeeze it harder. Twice more."

She obeyed, her grasp more firm this time.

"Good," Villain praised, his voice a velvet purr. A shiver trickled down her spine.

He led her through a few more grounding techniques until she was calmer. The last one, she'd taught to him herself mere weeks ago.

Juliet smiled slightly, still feeling a bit numb around the edges, but much more like herself. More human.

"Who's supposed to be whose therapist here?"

Villain offered a gentle smile and it flooded her veins with warmth.

"You were kidnapped, Doctor Meadows. I don't think being a therapist makes you immune to trauma."

She looked at him as he tracked her with attentive concern. Villain frowned and reached out, gently tracing his thumb over the healing slash that marred her cheek. His thumb dipped down to brush her bottom lip.

Juliet's cheeks burned. "Villain."

"Juliet," he countered, his typical cocky playfulness dimmed to a murmur.

His hand lingered on her cheek. Their gazes interlocked.

"Stay," she whispered.

Villain's smile made her dizzy all over again. "Always."

Part 4

General Taglist: @writing-on-the-wahl , @valiantlytransparentwhispers , @distance-does-not-matter , @redbircl , @lilaccatholic , @crazytwentythrees , @thelazywitchphotographer , @deadlygemuwu, @chibicelloking , @lolafaiy , @thinkwrite5 , @putridghost , @tobeornottobeateacher , @sunflower1000 , @bouncyartist , @thanatoastie , @vlerlove-deactivated20210701, @feyriddle, yet-another-heathen, @silverwhisperer1

You’re on this list if you’ve asked to be tagged in any of my writing before. I prefer doing a general list instead of individual ones since that is tedious to keep track of. Let me know if you want to be added or removed. :)

This took me so long to finish, I've been working on it a few lines at a time for like 5 days. At first, it just wasn't coming easily to me and I was getting frustrated, but I think it came together well enough to post! Hope you enjoy. Thanks for your support, lovelies.

((Also do you like my new profile pic? this is my fave pic crew I've made of myself lol its cute))

[daggryet]

could you transcribe tommy's doomsday vod? sorry for asking and no pressure of course, but i saw you were open to requests

Hello! Thank you for the request, it is done!

Today is L'Manberg's birthday and its first anniversary. but it's also the day I finished transcribing tommy's doomsday vod - so let's all be sad today :)

Underneath the cut is the entirety of Tommy's Doomsday VOD "Tommy's Dream SMP is Obliterated by Technoblade" (1.14.25).

Conversations may have been cut in half if they make jokes, but I've included every single lore-related line that I could hear (there was a lot of TNT and shouting over each other sorry)

(If anyone has their own requests, feel free to send them in)

Without further ado and I hope it's useful to you:

Tommy's Dream SMP Is Obliterated by Technoblade

00:47

TOMMY: So, there’s things I need to do. How long do we have now? 40 minutes. Oh, there we go. I’ve got something I need to do. I’ve got a couple of solo things that we’d needed to do for a long time. And I want to- ehm, we’ve got to speak to Tubbo because if we’re gonna do this war, morally, we can’t do it alone.

TOMMY messages TUBBO

TOMMY, whispering: vc

TOMMY: I know, they’re coming at 8pm, alright?

TUBBO messages TOMMY

TUBBO, whispering: okay

TOMMY: So what we’ve gotta do- you know what, chat? I fucked up, I did, I did over these past few weeks. I’ve been in exile, it’s been the worst weeks of my entire life, but I don’t wanna think about anything other… we’ve gotta say sorry.

TOMMY messages TUBBO

TOMMY, whispering: meet at our spot

TOMMY: And I know that’s not the most TommyInnit-y thing to do off the bat, but I haven’t been doing the most TommyInnit-y things to do.

TUBBO: I see you.

TOMMY: But I will do now.

TUBBO: Hello?

TOMMY: Hey.

TUBBO: Hey.

TOMMY: Hey, ehm, you wanna sit down on the eh-

TUBBO: I would quite like to sit down on the bench.

TOMMY: It’s been- you’re well dressed.

TUBBO: Thank you, you’re looking good yourself.

TOMMY: Eh, it’s been eh- listen. Listen - oh you’ve taken it off - I know it’s been a, mhm, I know it’s been quite some time… I’m sorry. I know, I know the exile- I know you had to exile me, like I’m sorry-

TUBBO: I’m sorry also. We could have tried other routes, it was a bit of an extreme turn.

TOMMY: I just don’t want everything that happens now to be built on - stay here - to be built on the past. You know, I don’t…

TUBBO: Yeah

TOMMY: Tubbo, I- I fucked it. I did. And there’s no- we all make mistakes, but it was me. I-I was the one who chose to side with the violent anarchist who wanted to destroy the thing I would sacrifice my discs for, and I, you know, put our shit behind that.

TUBBO: It’s okay though.

TOMMY: And I’m sorry. But-

TUBBO: Aw.

TOMMY: I’m sorry. I haven’t been… I haven’t been myself, but, ehm, we will tonight, alright? ‘Cause we’ve got shit to do, my friend.

TUBBO: Ehm, well, I mean, we have to rally everyone, don’t we? We have to go to what- where did we decide to set everything up? Over at Eret’s place? Get supplies.

TUBBO: We do!

TOMMY: Get supplies.

TOMMY: Get supplies.

TUBBO: I have no idea when they’re gonna get here, but-

TOMMY: There’s something I gotta do first. I mean, people don’t- I gotta, I gotta do it.

TUBBO: Okay…

TOMMY: I-I… okay. You go to the people and start rallying, I’ll join you, I’ll, you know, take lead once I’m there.

TUBBO: Okay, I’ll gotta get everything sorted.

TOMMY: We’ve gotta be- it’s gotta be me and you, Tubbo, it’s gotta be me and you versus Dream.

TOMMY: We’ve gotta leave everything we’ve done over the past weeks to the past, alright?

TUBBO: Yeah, of course.

TOMMY: Just like it always has been. And we’ve gotta do that tonight, because if we don’t tonight… I mean, you’ve heard what they’re saying. We’ll lose everything.

TUBBO: Yeah…

TOMMY: We’ll lose everything.

TUBBO: I mean, I don’t even know what would happen if L’Manberg were to get destroyed.

TOMMY: Okay, here’s what you do: you go rally them. I have something I have to do-

TUBBO: Okay.

TOMMY: And no one really knows what I have to do, but you rally them.

TUBBO: I will rally, I will rally!

TOMMY: I’ll speak to you, eh-

TOMMY: You start a plan, and then I’ll come and help, alright?

TUBBO: Speak to you soon.

TOMMY: Speak to you soon.

5:30

TOMMY: Okay, everybody. That was the right thing to do.

TOMMY does a waterbucket MLG.

TOMMY: We’ve still got it.

TOMMY: There’s something I need to do, that I didn’t really speak to you all about. We’ve got quite a while now to go. Now, listen to me, chat- Quackity’s leaving, Fundy’s leaving, what are you on about? No, no, no! We focus now, alright? There’s too many words shouted at me, shit in my head, streaks that I’ve lost, but we’ve got to- there is not enough time to read everyone’s- Fundy’s, what, what? Alright, I’m not reading the chat now. Here’s what I’ve got to do. Okay, okay, you know, we’ll walk.

TOMMY: Does anyone remember, eh, last night? I know I messed up, but there was one thing that really stuck. ‘Cause you know Sssa- you know, Sapnap, ‘cause I was watching this old video in my recommended about how all of these wars started, alright? And all of it started with me and Sapnap. And you know, you know, yesterday I realised - we need him on our side, man. ‘Cause it started with him and me, me and him. And a while age, a few months ago now, pre-exile, we had a fight. And it ended with me- I don’t know if anyone remembers, but it ended with me letting go of his pet fish, Beckerson. But I’ve been thinking about it, we can’t afford- we can’t afford to not have Sapnap. ‘Cause it started with us, and you know what? It’s gonna end with us. So we’ve gotta- and it can’t end with him betraying me again, so we’ve got to get him on our side. And I let his fish loose a longass time ago.

TOMMY: I’m not sure if it’s- is that it? Do you think it’ll be here still? What type of fish was it? “Mars”, Mars, Beckerson, Mars- I don’t, it doesn’t mean anything to me.

8:32

TOMMY: Is it around here? Guys, what type of fish was it? Is it- I mean, it might just not be here.

9:09

TOMMY: If it is still here, that’d be a miracle, but… everyone, if we can do this now, then- tropical? That means nothing to me. Oh is that- what the fuck!

TOMMY finds MARS swimming by the shore.

TOMMY: Oh, wow, wow, wow, holy shit, holy shit! Okay, go, go, go, go, go! Oh my- okay, wow, wow, wow, we found it, we found it- what the fuck! Did it not despawn? Okay, you know what, no, no, no. What the fuck? Okay, we can’t MLG with that waterbucket anymore. How?! Does it not despawn? Okay, where is Sapnap? What we’ve gotta do is we find Sapnap and get him on our side ‘cause it started with us; we’re ending with us!

TOMMY messages SAPNAP

TOMMY, whispering: Hey

TOMMY, whispering: vc?

TOMMY: Hey Sapnap

SAPNAP messages TOMMY

SAPNAP: Hey

TOMMY: No, wait, this is too serious of an occasion, I can’t play the Able Sisters. Where are you, Sapnap?

SAPNAP: Eh, at the community house you blew up.

TOMMY: Oh. Forgot about that

SAPNAP: Yeah

TOMMY: I’m-

TOMMY: Hey, hey, I’m really- I didn’t blow it up, sorry, people just- you know what, I’ll just be like a trooper. I won’t keep saying I didn’t blow it up, I’ll just- listen to me.

SAPNAP: Hello

TOMMY: I know, ehm, I know you said you didn’t wanna team with us last night, Sapnap.

SAPNAP: Well, I’m just- I don’t know, I just don’t know who to help or if I should help anyone.

TOMMY: Listen, I know, I know, but I- what I want you to know, Sapnap, is that I know we’ve had quarrels. But there was this video in my recommended the other day, and it was detailing the entirety of the very first war on this server. And I realised all of it, all of it, started with me and you. And I know you killed Henry, and I know we had wars, and you fucked up so many times - but so did I. And here’s the thing, man, it doesn’t matter about the past, and it doesn’t matter about the future; it matters about right now. And right now, there is a plethora of supervillains literally going to destroy everything we’ve worked for. And I know, I know you have no reason to come back, but I know it started with us. And it started with us because I helped you, Sapnap. And I don’t stop, because I know I’ve fucked up, but I won’t stop, alright? And you don’t have to side with us, but, Sapnap, do you remember a while ago we had a little war, a little fight?

SAPNAP: I do remember.

TOMMY: Sapnap.

TOMMY: And it ended with you throwing away- what was it?

SAPNAP: Yeah?

TOMMY: I’m so sorry that you did that, and that I made you do that because it wasn’t right of me. And I shouldn’t- I shouldn’t take out any of the fucked up shit that’s happened to me out on other people, and I’m sorry.

SAPNAP: Alright.

TOMMY: But Sapnap- I got Mars back. And yeah, it’s the same Mars from where I- turns out they don’t despawn if they have a nametag on them!

SAPNAP: It’s Mars!

TOMMY: Turns out they don’t despawn if they have a nametag on them! I didn’t know that! But, but, Sapnap, please help us, please. Because it started with me and you, and it doesn’t have to end with me and you. And if we don’t do anything right now; tonight will be the end of L’Manberg. So, please, help us. We need you.

SAPNAP: Alright, Tommy, let’s do this.

TOMMY: Really?

SAPNAP: Yeah, let’s eh- let’s just kill them all! What, it’s just two people, right?

TOMMY: It’s just two people, right!

SAPNAP: It’s just two people, we can kill them!

TOMMY: They’ll be here in 30 minutes. Okay.

SAPNAP: We can kill them.

TOMMY: Okay, let’s go get basic stuff. Let’s- let me get on my armour now, it’s war time. Let’s get in a call.

SAPNAP: I’m putting Mars somewhere safe, I’m putting Mars somewhere safe.

13:45

TOMMY: Hello?

JACK MANIFOLD: Hello

PONK: Hello

TOMMY: Hello, where’s Tubbo?

JACK MANIFOLD: He went to speak to-to-to Big Q.

TOMMY: Okay, I’ll go speak to him. Hey everyone, hope you’re all well-

JACK MANIFOLD: Actually, I’m-

TECHNOBLADE: Hey idiots! Where you at? I’m in your house, stealing your stuff!

TOMMY: I know where his house is.

TOMMY: What?

TECHNOBLADE: I’m outside L’Manberg, boys, where you at!

TOMMY: There’s 25 more minutes, no you’re not!

TECHNOBLADE: Bro, you think I’m going to wait? You think I’m going to sit- you know what, Tommy? You know what, there is 24 minutes, I’m not there right now, I’m not - there’s no need to check. There’s no need to go to your base.

TOMMY: What the fuck-?

TECHNOBLADE: There’s 24 minutes left.

TOMMY: That’s a very strange and ominous thing to say.

TECHNOBLADE: You know what, you guys take your time, take your time.

TOMMY: What the fuck is this obsidian grid?

TECHNOBLADE: Take your time

TOMMY: Technoblade, wait, no, stop it now. Where are you?

TECHNOBLADE: I’m in L’Manberg.

PHILZA: Where do you think?

TOMMY: Philza Minecraft. You’re not-

TECHNOBLADE: That was also his laugh right there, isn’t it great?

TECHNOBLADE: Uh, that was my Philza Minecraft impression, isn’t it great?

TOMMY shoots a spectral arrow at an invisible person wearing netherite armour.

TOMMY: Is that you?

PHILZA: That’s me, that’s me.

TECHNOBLADE: Phil! You are the least stealthy person on this planet!

TOMMY: What the fuck? Wow, wow, wow, wow, wait, wait, wait, wait, no, no, no, no! Time out! We have 30 more minutes, we have 30 more minutes until you got here!

TECHNOBLADE: You got nothing, Tommy!

TOMMY: What do you mean we’ve got- wait, where’s Tubbo?

TECHNOBLADE: You have nothing! Where is your army?

TOMMY: Where is my- you- what the fuck!

TECHNOBLADE: My army is right here!

TOMMY: You said 30 minutes, you said you’d be here in 30 minutes!

TECHNOBLADE: Oh no! Did we lie? Oh no!

TOMMY: What the fuck?

PHILZA: You think we’re gonna be fair? You think we’re gonna be fair? This is war, Tommy.

TECHNOBLADE: Oh no, I wasn’t honourable about the 1v30 that’s gonna happen, I’m sorry.

TOMMY: Where’s Tubbo?

TOMMY: Eret, Eret, do you have a waterbucket? Can I borrow that, please? Why is it just me and you-?

TOMMY messages TUBBO

TOMMY, messaging: TUBBO

Tommy, messaging: GET FUCKING HERE

TECHNOBLADE: There’s two guys here.

TECHNOBLADE: Is this your army? Man, I overprepared for this.

ERET: Where is everyone else?

TUBBO: Tommy, what’s wrong?

TOMMY: Tubbo, you stupid son of a bitch, get to L’Manberg!

TUBBO: The prepares are all like gone, they were sabotaged.

TUBBO: What, what, what, what?

TOMMY: What do you mean ‘sabotaged’? What does that mean?

TUBBO: There was literally nothing there, Tommy! There was just a crater.

TOMMY: Oh. Dream?

TUBBO: Tommy, what are you doing?

TOMMY falls to his death to escape possibly DREAM’s TNT.

JACK MANIFOLD: That was a really uneventful war

TOMMY: Don’t worry, I’m running back, I’m running back.

ERET: There’s so many dogs!

TECHNOBLADE: Oh, I’m stupid, I have a flint and steel.

ERET: Tommy, I got some of your stuff.

TOMMY: Eret, can you just take all my stuff?

TOMMY: Yeah, just keep it there.

TECHNOBLADE: I can’t see anything, there’s too many dogs!

PHILZA: Get out of the way!

TECHNOBLADE: I can’t burn any of the stuff. This sucks!

ERET: Why is there so many dogs?

TECHNOBLADE: Why do you think?

QUACKITY: What the hell is going on? What is this?

TOMMY: Guys, I took a tumble.

QUACKITY: What are you doing? This isn’t a goddamn zoo, Technoblade!

TECHNOBLADE: Oh, you messed up, you messed up!

QUACKITY: Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ.

ERET: Tommy, where are you?

TOMMY: I’m just running, I gotta set my spawn.

TECHNOBLADE: You messed up!

TUBBO: Oh my god, oh my god, what the hell

TOMMY: Tubbo?

TECHNOBLADE: You messed up, Tubbo! Let loose the dogs of war!

TOMMY: What does that mean?!

ERET: There’s too many dogs!

TOMMY: Tubbo, fight him!

TUBBO: I am!

QUACKITY: Oh Jesus, fuck, why?

QUACKITY: What the hell! What are you doing?

TECHNOBLADE: Get out of here! Get out of here, Ponk!

TOMMY: Tubbo, stay alive!

TUBBO: I’m doing fine!

TOMMY: Eret, Eret, meet me on the bridge there. Meet me on the way.

TECHNOBLADE: You idiot!

QUACKITY: What the hell are you doing?

TECHNOBLADE: Sapnap really thought he was slick. He was like ‘Oh I’m about to jump Technoblade and nothing bad is going to happen’.

QUACKITY: You realise we’re gonna kill all these dogs as soon as you go, right, Techno?

TOMMY: Eret, Eret, I’m on the path there.

TECHNOBLADE: I’ve already killed three of you guys!

ERET: I’m in the tunnel

TECHNOBLADE: Oh yeah, hit me with that axe, Punz! Hit me with that axe!

TOMMY messages Eret

TOMMY, whispering: IM HERE

PUNZ: I’m running, I’m running. I don’t wanna die!

TECHNOBLADE: Wait, did I actually get back my trident?

TOMMY messages Eret

TOMMY, whispering: AT CHESS

QUACKITY: What are you doing?

PUFFY: Why are there so many?

SAPNAP: Why is there so many dogs?

TOMMY messages Eret

TOMMY, whispering: STUFF PLS

TOMMY, whispering: STUFF PLS

TOMMY, whispering: STUFF PLS

TECHNOBLADE: Dogs!

QUACKITY: This has gotta be illegal in some countries!

TECHNOBLADE: I just killed like 50 of my dogs by accident!

PUFFY: That is definitely illegal

TECHNOBLADE: Not the sweeping edge!

QUACKITY: There’s no way this is all legal

TECHNOBLADE: Get ‘em dogs! Get ‘em!

ERET is giving TOMMY his stuff back.

SAPNAP: Holy crap!

TOMMY: Oh no.

JACK MANIFOLD: Technoblade, people won’t be happy about this.

TECHNOBLADE: You guys aren’t allowed to kill these dogs, no killing pets! No killing pets in L’Manberg!

TOMMY: You got any blocks, any blocks?

ERET: Yeah, there you go.

TOMMY: You got a shield and water bucket, please?

SAPNAP: Punz, Punz, Punz, focus on the dogs.

PUNZ: No, kill Techno, kill Techno.

ERET: Eh, no, I don’t have a spare bucket. That’s all I have

TOMMY: Okay.

TECHNOBLADE: Oh, welcome back!

PONK: No!

TECHNOBLADE: This is actually not great.

SAPNAP: Alright.

PHILZA: *Laughing*

TOMMY: Alright, regroup, regroup. Where is everyone? Where is everyone?

PUFFY: In L’Manberg!

JACK MANIFOLD: Yeah, we’re all- we’re all in L’Manberg.

TOMMY: Holy- okay, okay! On the top of here, on the top of here-

TECHNOBLADE: Whatever you’re doing!

TOMMY:- Do you have a shield, goddamnit? Oh my god!

TECHNOBLADE: Oh yeah, a shield is gonna protect you from the wolves!

TOMMY: Do you have a shield?! Ranboo! Why are you standing still?

JACK MANIFOLD: Stop killing those animals, Sapnap.

RANBOO: What’s going on?

TOMMY: Can I have a shield, please?!

TECHNOBLADE: Oh god, I didn’t think about Sapnap!

RANBOO: What’s going on?

TECHNOBLADE: No one kills animals like Sapnap!

TOMMY: Tubbo, where are you?

TECHNOBLADE: That’s his whole thing!

QUACKITY: That’s true!

TECHNOBLADE: Get out of here, Jack Manifold! Dogs, attack!

SAPNAP: I’m killing so many dogs!

JACK MANIFOLD: Oh!

SAPNAP: Jack!

RANBOO: It wasn’t supposed to start yet.

TECHNOBLADE: Dogs, attack! Everyone’s just cutting down my dogs! What is this?

ERET: Oh my god!

TOMMY: Everyone, focus! Where’s Tubbo?

TUBBO: I’m here!

TOMMY: Why are you so quiet? There’s a traitor in our goddamn midst!

TUBBO: What do you mean?

TOMMY: What do you mean? There’s Technoblade!

QUACKITY: There’s a shitton of dogs in fucking L’Manberg!

TUBBO: Yeah, there’s-

QUACKITY: Oh! What the hell?!

PHILZA: Yeah, don’t worry about it.

TECHNOBLADE: Hbomb! Hbomb get over here! Eret!

ERET: Huh?

20:22

TOMMY: Techno. Techno, stop! Where are you?

TECHNOBLADE: You know what? I’m feeling merciful. If you guys all back off and let me blow up this country, you can live!

QUACKITY: You’re gonna rig these dogs with bombs, how exactly are you gonna do that with dogs?

TOMMY: Holy shit, how are there so many?! Oh my god!

TECHNOBLADE: So many of my dogs have died.

SAPNAP: Alright, they’re almost all dead!

QUACKITY: You literally just said you killed like 50 of your dogs!

TOMMY: Techno.

QUACKITY: What are you doing?

TECHNOBLADE: It was like 20 of my dogs, to be fair.

TOMMY: How many dogs do you have?

QUACKITY: How many did you bring?

PUFFY: Too many!

ERET: Not enough.

SAPNAP: Oh he’s eating a Notch apple, he’s eating a Notch apple!

TOMMY: Techno.

TECHNOBLADE: Oh, I’ve got a few of those!

TECHNOBLADE: Oh, 17 minutes. Take your time, Ranboo! No need to rush.

TOMMY: Okay, okay. Tubbo, where are you?

21:09

NIKI: Will?

TUBBO: I’m literally right next to you!

TOMMY: Tubbo, Tubbo, I see you! I see you, I see you!

TECHNOBLADE: The signal!

TOMMY: What’s the signal?

SAPNAP: Guys, Technoblade is right here!

JACK MANIFOLD: The signal?

TOMMY: Where?

A wither spawns.

TOMMY: Eret, Eret- holy shit! Okay! Get down, get down!

TECHNOBLADE: Why did I pearl into it?

QUACKITY: Okay, okay- oh no, no, no.

RANBOO: Not again, not again.

QUACKITY: This is not good.

TUBBO: Not the bees!

TOMMY: Holy shit, holy shit!

QUACKITY: Okay, okay, I don’t even have shit.

TUBBO: Not the bees!

QUACKITY: Okay, alright.

FUNDY: Why did you spawn one on the bees?

SAPNAP: Why did you spawn on the bees?

TOMMY: Not there.

EVERYONE: The bees!

22:02

There’s three withers now.

TOMMY: Holy shit!

JACK MANIFOLD: No!

TOMMY: Okay, Ranboo, Ranboo, stick with me.

RANBOO: Yeah, yeah.

TOMMY: Okay, we’re gonna fight as a group; everyone round up! At the bee house! At the bee house! Tubbo, take charge! There’s one at the bee house; get it! Get the one at the bee house!

PUFFY: It’s got me!

TOMMY: There’s four of them! Ah! Five!

ERET: There’s so many withers.

TECHNOBLADE: Why are they shooting me?

TOMMY: Everyone! Eret. Everyone - kill them! Please.

TECHNOBLADE: What are you doing here?

QUACKITY: I’m feeling from the country!

TOMMY: Oh my god. Technoblade! L’Manberg!

QUACKITY: Oh no, oh no, no, no.

TOMMY crawls atop of the camarvan, looking around at the destruction the withers are bringing to the country.

TOMMY: L’Manberg!

TECHNOBLADE: I should’ve kept more invis potions. That would’ve been a good idea. Mind your business, mind your business.

PONK: My cat died!

TOMMY: L’Manberg!

RANBOO: Jack, run.

JACK MANIFOLD: I’m trying, I’m really trying!

TOMMY: Punz!

TECHNOBLADE: Oh TommyInnit!

TOMMY: I’m running!

SAPNAP: NO!

TOMMY: Holy shit.

TECHNOBLADE: Okay, what wither is attacking me?

TOMMY: Gotta get iron.

TECHNOBLADE: What is this? What is this? This not the plan.

23:16

TOMMY: Chat, we gotta get iron! We gotta get a bucket, then we can go up, then we can go up.

TOMMY: Okay, Technoblade, listen.

RANBOO: Oh, Jack’s got two on him, that’s not good.

PONK: Bro, I found a wither rose.

TECHNOBLADE: I need to get my stuff back.

TOMMY: Oh, okay.

TECHNOBLADE: I need invis potions.

JACK MANIFOLD: Oh, there’s one here!

HBOMB: Niki, I gave you some stuff.

NIKI: Aha

RANBOO: Oh my god, there’s an entire army down there.

QUACKITY: Niki, can I speak to you, can I speak to you?

RANBOO: There’s an entire army around

NIKI: Sure.

TECHNOBLADE: Looking for invis potions!

RANBOO: I gotta get out of here.

TOMMY: You know what? We’ll speak to Techno. Tubbo, Tubbo, everyone - please! L’Manberg! Just group up, we can’t fight this solo.

TUBBO: I’m already grouped up.

TOMMY: Alright, I’m coming, I’m coming.

TECHNOBLADE: There’s nothing in here, I should have gotten more invis.

TOMMY: Okay, get in the- Tubbo! Get in the caravan! Get in the caravan!

TOMMY: Alright, listen to me- oh hello. Tubbo, where are you?

TUBBO: Getting in the caravan!

TOMMY: Get in the caravan now!

TECHNOBLADE: Oh yeah, the caravan. That’ll save you.

TUBBO: Okay!

TOMMY: Okay, listen to me, listen to me- arh! Okay, listen to me, listen to me- oh no. I know this looks bad.

TECHNOBLADE: Oh there’s one after me! Oh, the cruel irony!

TOMMY: Here’s what we do! We go for the withers alright, we fight one wither at a time, we fight them as a group. Please! We don’t have enough time! Get out, go, go! Holy shit!

RANBOO: There’s nine! There’s nine withers!

SAPNAP: Oh my god!

TECHNOBLADE: I need more invis! This was not according to the plan!

TOMMY: L’Manberg!

TOMMY: We’ve gotta get out.

TECHNOBLADE: Do you have invis potions?

RANBOO: There’s one, there’s one.

TOMMY: L’Manberg.

TUBBO: This is…

TOMMY: He’s minding you.

TECHNOBLADE: Don’t mind me! Don’t mind me!

TECHNOBLADE: Don’t mind me! The particles!

TUBBO: Oh my god.

TECHNOBLADE: Smokescreen technique! Smokescreen technique!

TOMMY: Holy shit! Jack Manifold, get in the tunnel! Okay, okay, speak to me - speak to me! Oh my god!

TECHNOBLADE: Phil! Phil, meet me in your house!

SAPNAP: Kill the withers! Kill the withers!

TECHNOBLADE: Meet me in your house, Phil!

RANBOO: This is not good.

TOMMY: I can’t- okay, we gotta kill them one at a time, one at a time, Jack. Wait for it to come down, one at a time.

25:49

TECHNOBLADE: What the heck is “Do Not Read”?

TOMMY: L’Manberg!

JACK MANIFOLD: Oh shit, oh shit!

TOMMY: Oh if only I had “How to Sex 2” on me right now. Keep him there, Jack! Take ‘em down one at a time!

RANBOO: You guys-

TOMMY: Jack, please.

SAPNAP: Eret, Eret, can I borrow- Eret-

TOMMY: Have we got any of them?

TUBBO: This is…

TECHNOBLADE: Ranboo, you’re alright, I’ll give you time to get away. Ranboo, get out of here, Ranboo! I don’t have anything against you. You can get out of here, just flee the battle, no one will know!

PHILZA: No one will know.

TECHNOBLADE: Except that wither, except that wither!

TOMMY: Holy shit!

TECHNOBLADE: It’s okay, you just gotta get away from that wither, it’s fine!

TECHNOBLADE: What am I doing here?

TOMMY: Oh! Everything is going!

TOMMY: Tubbo, please. Tubbo, stick with me!

TUBBO: I am still here with you.

TOMMY: Okay, let’s- everyone, listen to me if you can hear me! Take them down one at a time! Look how low they’re getting! Use the Axe of Peace unironically!

TECHNOBLADE: Let’s go!

TOMMY: Come on, one at a time, one at a time! Please!

TECHNOBLADE: Ten more minutes, Phil! Ten more minutes!

ERET: Big Q!

QUACKITY: What do you want from me? I don’t even have anything!

PONK: Take this!

TECHNOBLADE: Check this out.

PONK: Fuck you!

QUACKITY: Yes, let’s go, Ponk!

PONK: Oh, he dropped it! No!

TOMMY pearls a bit higher up in silence, trying to get some kind of high ground.

QUACKITY: I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I dropped it. I don’t even have a sword, Ponk!

PUFFY: No!

PONK: Take this!

QUACKITY: Do you have my bow?

PONK: I don’t know!

RANBOO: Where are they?

QUACKITY: Do you have my bow? Ponk, you picked up my things!

PONK: I don’t have your bow, no.

TOMMY: Alright, where are you- Sapnap! Sapnap, listen to me! This isn’t the end.

QUACKITY: Jesus Christ!

TOMMY: Sapnap!

PHILZA: Have fun with that!

RANBOO: Where are they?

QUACKITY: Fuck, it looks ugly!

RANBOO: There is an entire wither on me!

ERET: Kill the withers!

QUACKITY: Oh no.

TECHNOBLADE: He might have seen through my disguise.

TOMMY: Technoblade, where are you? Ranboo, kill it!

RANBOO: I’m trying, I’m trying!

TECHNOBLADE: I’m actually back at my base. I spawned the withers and dipped.

ERET: No! Get them away from here

TECHNOBLADE: The invis is working!

TOMMY: Okay, go down- everyone, everyone!

RANBOO: No, no, no.

QUACKITY: Get him, so I can take his things.

TOMMY: Who is this? Who is that?

TUBBO: Oh, it’s Puffy.

TOMMY: Why would you take invis?

PUFFY: I didn’t take anything!

TOMMY: Okay, everyone; focus. Okay, here’s what we do! Listen to me if you can hear me! I repeat: focus the withers first, then fight Techno!

RANBOO: Come on. Come on!

TECHNOBLADE: Splash them with invis! They won’t know who’s who!

TUBBO: He’s come from the tunnel where I died! He’s not on our side, he’s gappling!

TECHNOBLADE: Tubbo has a totem of undying, guys!

QUACKITY: I have no clothes, but I-

TUBBO: No! Ranboo kill that!

QUACKITY: Who is that?

TOMMY: L’Manberg!

QUACKITY: I need you to hold me, Sapnap!

TOMMY: L’Manberg, Big Q!

TECHNOBLADE: Yeah, yeah, he’s got a shield.

TOMMY: L’Manberg, holy shit!

TECHNOBLADE: Oh, wait.

TOMMY: Big Q! Oh, he’s pissed now!

TECHNOBLADE: Oh, here it is.

QUACKITY: Let’s go, Tommy! Now we can get these withers! Let’s fucking go!

TECHNOBLADE: TNT! YEAH!

TOMMY: Can we?

TOMMY: What?

SAPNAP: TNT’s raining from the sky!

TOMMY: L’Manberg!

TOMMY: What the fuck?

TECHNOBLADE: YES!

TOMMY: Where? Holy shit! Holy shit!

SAPNAP: Quackity!

QUACKITY: Sapnap, am I gonna die? Am I gonna die? What the fuck?

SAPNAP: You’re not gonna die, you’re not gonna die.

QUACKITY: What the fuck is going on, what the fuck is going on?

RANBOO: Oh god, oh god. Just run!

TUBBO: What is-

HBOMB: How much TNT is that?

RANBOO: Tubbo.

TECHNOBLADE: Tubbo is gone! Minecraft rage!

TOMMY: Tubbo? Tubbo!

QUACKITY: What is going on?

TUBBO: What?

TOMMY: Tubbo, turn around.

QUACKITY: What is going on?

TECHNOBLADE: Yes!

RANBOO: It’s all gone.

QUACKITY: What is going- what-

TOMMY: How did we not-

SAPNAP: Who is this?

PONK: Stay back! No, no, no, don’t come over here!

QUACKITY: What is going on? Holy shit.

TOMMY: Philza Minecraft?

TECHNOBLADE: How much longer do we need to stall, Phil?

PHILZA: I think we’ve done enough damage, for the stall.

TOMMY: Oh no. Tubbo, they’re gonna land on us next! Tubbo! Tubbo! Tubbo, look at me! Look at me, Tubbo!

TECHNOBLADE: Look at what you’re president of, Tubbo!

30:31

TOMMY: Techno. Technoblade, look at me! Do not shoot. Do not shoot.

TECHNOBLADE: Tommy. You had your chance, Tommy!

TOMMY: Technoblade, listen to me! For once in your life! You didn’t have to- you didn’t have to do this. You could have compromised! The thing about the the discs, Technoblade, is that they were for me! We could have had a government, you could have let us live with this!

TECHNOBLADE: I don’t care about the discs, Tommy! I was upfront with you from the start! The government has to go!

TOMMY: You didn’t compromise! Technoblade, you are selfish!

TECHNOBLADE: Selfish? You used me from the start, Tommy! You’re wearing my helmet!

TOMMY: Technoblade, you said we betrayed you! You said we betrayed you! You said that we were the ones who betrayed you!

TECHNOBLADE: You betrayed me like 12 times!

TOMMY: Technoblade, look at me. Look at me right now. You said you hated governments, you said that we were the ones that betrayed you; but you’re the one who killed Tubbo when JSchlatt told you to! You’re the one who betrayed us! Out of all of this, Technoblade,

TECHNOBLADE: I was peer pressured! You betrayed me!

TOMMY: Listen to me!

TECHNOBLADE: You used me! You’ve never thought of me as a friend, Tommy, you’ve just used me from the start.

TOMMY: I have, Techno.

TECHNOBLADE: You just saw me as The Blade, that’s all I was to you. The Blade! A weapon! Well, guess what… I’m choosing what I’m fighting for now.

TECHNOBLADE fires rockets at TOMMY. Just before the second rocket hits, TUBBO jumps in front of him to protect him.

TECHNOBLADE: And I’m going to destroy the government, Tommy! You’ll all die! It’s gone! We’re chunk erroring this!

TOMMY: Techno. Techno. Techno. Look at me, look at me. Please. Don’t fight, Tubbo.

TECHNOBLADE: Is that really the fight- who keeps shooting me?

TOMMY: Techno, look at me! You’re the one who did this! The people- you were my friend, you were my friend! You were The Blade, you were our-

TECHNOBLADE: Tommy.

TECHNOBLADE: Who’s over there? Sapnap, we’re having a moment! Get out of here!

TOMMY: Listen to me! I thought friendship- Techno, for once in your life, listen to me! You were my friend!

TECHNOBLADE: I listened to you for weeks!

TOMMY: Just listen to me!

TECHNOBLADE: I helped you! And you went back to Tubbo, the guy that exiled you! He chose his country over you.

TOMMY: Techno, people are above the government! We- it doesn’t matter if we want a government-

32:57

TECHNOBLADE: I am a person!

TOMMY: You are, Technoblade! And so are we! You- the reason the discs were important is because they were stolen from me. Nothing was taken from you!

TECHNOBLADE: The discs aren’t people!

TOMMY: Nothing was taken from you here! You’re selfish! You destroy what people love for your own self gain. You’re selfish!

TECHNOBLADE: All of these problems are because of your government. Your government has caused all these issues! I believe in freedom, Tommy!

TOMMY: You don’t believe in- when you were peer pressured, that’s not freedom! That was you following what the government- that was the president telling you to-

TECHNOBLADE: Tommy, that was like four months ago!

TOMMY: It was, and you killed Tubbo! Don’t forget about the past right now! Tubbo, back up for me here! He killed you!

TUBBO: Yeah...

TECHNOBLADE: He’s president, he’s president! Get him out of here! He’s wearing your helmet!

TOMMY: And you killed him.

TECHNOBLADE: Yeah, ‘cause he’s the president!

TOMMY: But even when he wasn’t the president, you killed him as well.

TECHNOBLADE: Yeah, that’s true.

TOMMY: You’re as bad as the government, Technoblade. In fact, you know what, you’re worse.

TECHNOBLADE: I was stood there alone against a whole government, and you and Wilbur just sat there on the sidelines and watched. Did you step in? Did you step in? Were you guys the ones who stepped and said “Don’t worry, Technoblade, we know you’re in a high pressure situation, but we’ll fight the world for you, Technoblade!” No, you guys watched! You know what I did? Yesterday? When you were surrounded by like 30 people and the whole world was against you? I walked in, I was willing to fight all of them for you, Tommy. I would have been there.

TOMMY: Techno-

TECHNOBLADE: That is the difference between us.

TOMMY: We spent hours together, man.

TECHNOBLADE: Don’t speak to me of loyalty!

TOMMY: No, you were my friend, and you betrayed us!

TECHNOBLADE: You never thought of me as a friend!

TOMMY: And the thing about this government is that- it didn’t interfere with you!

TECHNOBLADE: Yes, it did!

TOMMY: You have your own freedom, just let people love what they love, man! You’re selfish, Techno.

TOMMY: The discs interfered with us, they were stolen by Dream! Why would you side with the maniac-?

TECHNOBLADE: They hunted me down! The whole butcher army! And they executed me! I tried being peaceful, Tommy, but the government made it clear-

TECHNOBLADE: I used to think like that, Tommy. You know what they did to me?

TOMMY: You didn’t have to do this.

TECHNOBLADE: I did! The government-

TOMMY: They executed you because you blew up the entire- you spawned withers just like you’ve done again! All you did is repeat history, but worse. You’re selfish.

TECHNOBLADE: You guys brought this upon yourselves. I was prepared to live peacefully in my cottage and be chill, and just farm-

TOMMY: Techno, you can’t live in a cottage after you blow up the government. That’s not how it works. Actions have consequences.

TECHNOBLADE: Actions do have consequences, Tommy. And these are the consequences! It’s over! I’m killing Quackity! He’s got actual armor.

QUACKITY: No, no, no. Why?

TECHNOBLADE: Get back here! Get back here!

35:34

TOMMY: Tubbo

TECHNOBLADE: Get back here! He’s got my armor

QUACKITY: No, I stole this, this is mine!

TECHNOBLADE: Get back here!

QUACKITY: Technoblade, Technoblade, we attacked you- goddamnit! We attacked you at your cottage because you did exactly this! You did this, you exploded L’Manberg!

TECHNOBLADE: I was willing to be peaceful!

TECHNOBLADE: I changed!

QUACKITY: It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter, you were part of the hitlist. Technoblade, you were meant to suffer the consequences for what you did. That’s what happened.

TOMMY: Everything.

TECHNOBLADE: This is the consequences for hunting me down!

TECHNOBLADE: Taken my punishment and left? You would have literally killed me! What do you mean left?

QUACKITY: That’s true, that’s very true!

TOMMY: Technoblade!

QUACKITY: Technoblade, listen, you had to. You had to. And it was for L’Manberg, and it was for the country.

TECHNOBLADE: Oh, I hate this, what is this-

TOMMY: You’ve become the tyrant.

TECHNOBLADE: The tyrant? Bruh, bruh.

TOMMY: You’ve become the tyrant.

TECHNOBLADE: I am one man, the world will be better. The world will be better without the government! Airstrike!

ERET: Oh my god.

TECHNOBLADE: Airstrike! It wouldn’t be a final boss if I didn’t have stages”

ERET: Woah!

PHILZA: Yeah! Yeah! Go!

TUBBO: I don’t…

TOMMY: Tubbo?

TECHNOBLADE: Why is the wither following me in the sky? It’s ruining my moment.

TUBBO: Yeah.

TOMMY: Tubbo?

TECHNOBLADE: Oh my god.

37:24

TOMMY: Tubbo! It’s gone!

TUBBO: Seems like history really is doomed to repeat itself.

TOMMY: The caravan… the caravan! The camarvan!

TUBBO: Oh man.

QUACKITY: Fellas, there’s still L’Mantree.

TOMMY: There’s still, there’s still the tree.

QUACKITY: The L’Mantree’s still alive.

TUBBO: The L’Mantree.

QUACKITY: Come on. Just-

TOMMY: As long as the tree’s alive. Yeah, yeah, get to the tree.

TUBBO: I’m going to the tree.

QUACKITY: Head to the tree. Where’s-

TOMMY: Wilbur! That was my last memory of Wilbur! Of the real Wilbur.

QUACKITY: Where’s the fucking tree?

TOMMY: The tree’s in the box.

QUACKITY: Where’s the goddamn-

TUBBO: The tree-yeah.

QUACKITY: Okay, where is it, where is it?

TOMMY: The tree-

TUBBO: Eh the tree is supposed to be here. Right here.

QUACKITY: Tommy. Tubbo.

TUBBO: The tree is meant to be here where I’m standing.

QUACKITY: It’s gone.

TUBBO: The tree is gone.

TOMMY: No. No, it’s not. No, it’s not!

QUACKITY: The tree is gone!

TOMMY: Wait-

TUBBO: It’s gone.

TOMMY rejoins the other VC.

PHIL: Where do you think-?

TOMMY: Where’s the tree?

PONK: No, please!

TOMMY: Where’s the tree?

PONK: Please!

TECHNOBLADE: Every time I see you, you have less armor.

PONK: No!

TECHNOBLADE: Guess who’s gently gliding towards you, Ponk!

TOMMY: Tubbo.

TOMMY: Technoblade, where’s- where’s the L’Mantree?

TECHNOBLADE: Bro, I don’t know what- I’m gonna be real with you, I don’t know what the L’Mantree is. No one ever told me about it.

TOMMY: Does any-

TECHNOBLADE: Dream said something about blowing up the L’Mantree, so - mhm.

FUNDY: It’s gone! It’s gone!

QUACKITY: It’s fucking gone!

TECHNOBLADE: I hate trees!

QUACKITY: It’s out, that’s it.

FUNDY: It’s all gone! Everything! Everything is gone!

ERET: The downfall.

TECHNOBLADE: This wither is so annoying- wait, I can just kill this wither. This wither sucks. Yeah! I have dogs! My dogs!

39:21

TOMMY: VC 2, Tubbo and Big Q.

TUBBO: Mhm.

QUACKITY: It’s gone.

TOMMY: Is it- Tubbo, Tubbo, take half of these. Is it really all-?

QUACKITY: Tommy. There’s no use, it’s gone. It’s gone.

TOMMY: No, it’s not- no, no, no, no.

TOMMY: This is the way I travelled with Wilbur. Walk from here on out, Tubbo. This is… it can’t be. It can’t be.

QUACKITY: L’Manberg no longer exists.

TOMMY: Tubbo. L’Manberg… it’s gone.

TUBBO: Yeah, this is definitely beyond the point of repair.

TOMMY: L’Manberg is...Tubbo….Tubbo.

TUBBO: Mhm… I am speechless.

TOMMY: Let’s just make a new bed out of this, just in case.

TUBBO: Good idea. Wait, actually, Tommy, there’s a bed just over here. I made a bed.

TOMMY: Oh, okay.

TUBBO: - before. I think, anyway.

TOMMY: I got three wool.

TUBBO: Yeah, that bed is almost definitely gone.

TOMMY: Let’s just grab some…

TUBBO: Yeah, it’s definitely…

TOMMY: Why did Wilbur… Tubbo, Tubbo, set your spawn.

TUBBO: I can’t actually run anymore. That’s fine.

TOMMY: Hey.

TUBBO: Hey.

TUBBO: Yeah, this is… this was planned.

TOMMY: It’s for real.

GHOSTBUR messages EVERYONE

GHOSTBUR, messaging: hey guys am i interrupting ? :)

TUBBO: Yeah…

TOMMY messages GHOSTBUR

TOMMY, messaging: Not nwo ghostbur

JACK MANIFOLD messages GHOSTBUR

JACK MANIFOLD, messaging: i lost everything again

TUBBO: I just, I just, I just don’t know.

TOMMY: Tubbo.

TUBBO: Yeah. There’s-

TOMMY: Tubbo, look at me.

TUBBO: There’s nothing left to say.

TOMMY: Look at me!

43:45

TOMMY: You bastard.

DREAM: Tommy. Look, in all destruction there’s a new beginning.

TOMMY: You did this! To all of us, not just to me, but to everyone here.

DREAM: Beautiful. You know, the unfinished symphony, right?

TOMMY: Yeah… why?

DREAM: The server will be at peace now.

TOMMY: Why, Dream? Couldn’t you just, couldn’t you just have burned the discs? Couldn’t you just have done it… to me? Why did you have to…

DREAM: This is much more fun.

TOMMY: You’re a monster.

DREAM: Okay. Well, I think I’m gonna go far from here. For a little while, just to avoid the wave of frustration that I’m sure you’ll have.

TOMMY: This is too far, you’ve crossed- you know you’re a monster. You’ve crossed the line. This is everyone-

DREAM: Tommy, I’m not done with you, okay? Yeah, our story’s not over, L’Manberg’s story is over, but, you know, our story’s not over. I have your discs, I’m sure I’ll see you soon, but-

TOMMY: You’re right. Listen to me, our story’s not over-

DREAM: You’re right.

TOMMY: -but it will be. You know what, Dream? It will be soon.

DREAM: I don’t think our story will ever be over, Tommy.

TOMMY: Oh, I think it will be.

DREAM: I think that you’re just too fun. I don’t think it’ll be over. But I’ll see you soon. This was a good time.

46:26

TOMMY: Where’s Ghostbur?

GHOSTBUR: Hi guys! Ehm, I- what’s going on around here?

TOMMY: Turn these off, Big Q, turn these off.

QUACKITY: Jesus Christ, you scared me.

GHOSTBUR: I just- I came to see my sewer. I was having a little walk, and I came to my sewer, and it’s just a big hole. What’s happened- is- we- hey, you guys are all walking along the big obsidian thing!

QUACKITY: We’re… oh my god.

TOMMY: Ghostbur… it’s over.

GHOSTBUR: What’s over? I just started my stream.

QUACKITY: He keeps going- break em, break em, break em, he keeps going- oh my god.

TOMMY: Ghostbur, it’s over.

GHOSTBUR: No, don’t talk like that-

GHOSTBUR: You mean L’Manberg?

TOMMY: Tubbo!

GHOSTBUR: It’s been like this before! This is-

TUBBO: It has not been like this before.

GHOSTBUR: It has!

TOMMY: Wilbur, Wilbur. We lost.

GHOSTBUR: I didn’t even know we were fighting.

TUBBO: Mhm.

QUACKITY: We were. Your L’Manberg is gone.

TOMMY: Our L’Manberg.

QUACKITY: Yeah, our L’Manberg.

TOMMY: Just turn these off.

QUACKITY: Yeah.

GHOSTBUR: Wait, this was Philza? Phil was looking after friend. Wait…

TUBBO: No, there’s no way that friend survived.

TOMMY: Tubbo, where are you?

TUBBO: Over here.

TOMMY: Listen to me. L’Manberg… we lost, Tubbo. But-

QUACKITY: Oh fuck.

TOMMY: But this is- but remember this. Please, Tubbo.

TUBBO: Mhm.

TOMMY: Do you wanna know why all of- we’ve gotta end it, Tubbo.

GHOSTBUR: End?

TUBBO: How do you suggest we do that?

GHOSTBUR: Friend…

TOMMY: We’re gonna do the last thing there is to do. We have to, now. Before we lose everything.

TOMMY hits his desk hard twice.

GHOSTBUR: Where’s friend?

TOMMY: We’ve got to.

GHOSTBUR: Phil?

TUBBO: What are you hitting?

TOMMY: Phil.

TUBBO: Yeah, Phil.

GHOSTBUR: I gave friend to Phil to look after, and Dream, Dream found me friend. And Technoblade, he was- we were- he said we were friends.

TOMMY: Technoblade… here’s the thing, Wilbur.

GHOSTBUR: See, people wouldn’t lie about that, would they?

TOMMY: Wilbur, the problem with Technoblade-

GHOSTBUR: Why is it- why is still-? That was my blue, that was my blue!

TOMMY: The problem with Technoblade, Wilbur, is that he was our friend all along. And here’s the thing that you gotta understand; we were never his friend. And so to him, this was all just an act of politics, it was all just an act of clout and a social ladder. But to us, and I think this has always been - and you won’t remember, Tubbo you will, Big Q, this has just been a friendship. But to Technoblade, this was a ladder, and Technoblade’s climbed to the tippity top. Do you wanna know the only way you can go? On a ladder?

GHOSTBUR: I didn’t think you were gonna say that one.

GHOSTBUR: Side to side?

TOMMY, laughing: I’m so sorry, Ghostbur.

TUBBO: You can go up.

TOMMY: No, no, once you reach the top of the ladder, Tubbo, you can only go down.

GHOSTBUR: Side to side.

TOMMY: You could go side to side, but really there would be no point.

TUBBO: The top of the ladder-

TOMMY: The ladder’s incredibly thin, social ladders are actually very thin. It’s quite renown. I’ve read books.

GHOSTBUR: You could go side to side, but then you would also fall off the ladder.

TOMMY: You would fall off the ladder, and then you’d split your neck.

GHOSTBUR: Maybe you split your neck, and you might bleed and die.

QUACKITY: That’s true. That’s what ladders do.

GHOSTBUR: It’s Fundy, and Technoblade.

TOMMY: Fundy, don’t- listen, you know what? We’re not L’Manberg anymore, but we’re still together, and I need you to listen… although-

QUACKITY: Fellas.

GHOSTBUR: Where’s friend?

TUBBO: I suppose.

GHOSTBUR: Where’s friend?

QUACKITY: Just to pay our vice.

TOMMY: One last time.

QUACKITY: Alright.

GHOSTBUR: It’s like Hamilton.

TOMMY: Just like Hamilton.

TUBBO: Just like Hamilton.

QUACKITY: I don’t know what Hamilton is, but yeah, just like Hamilton. Alright, fellas.

TOMMY: Ghostbur?

GHOSTBUR: Yeah?

QUACKITY: Sing with me.

TOMMY: You know the anthem better than anyone else.

L’Manberg Anthem

I heard there was a special place

Where men could go and emancipate

The brutality

And tyranny

Of their rulers

Well, this place is real

You needn’t fret

With Wilbur, Tommy, Tubbo, Fuck Eret

A very big and not blown up L’Manburg

My L’Manburg

My L’Manburg

My L’Manburg

My L’Manburg

For freedom and for liberty

Our nation sought to build on these

A victory for all under our freedom

Well the darkness came and then it went

We built a home and watched it sink

And from the rubble

Emerged my great

L’Manburg

My L’manburg

My L’manburg

My L’manburg

My L’manburg

With bloodied hands

And weakened knees

Our peoplе rose like

The phoеnix

Our empty fields and canals ‘round

L’Mantree

With sweat and tears we armed our ranks

We laid foundations in our land

And from every lips for

Here up to forever

We sing L’Manburg

We sing L’Manburg

We sing L’Manburg

We sing L’Manburg

54:44

GHOSTBUR: The L’Mantree’s gone.

TOMMY: It’s all gone.

TUBBO: Yes, it is.

QUACKITY: Yes, it is. My L’Manberg-

TOMMY: Our L’Manberg.

QUACKITY: Our L’Manberg, that’s right.

GHOSTBUR: I’ve been reading- I was reading the history books, Quackity.

QUACKITY: Yeah.

GHOSTBUR: And do you think if Alivebur and you hadn’t gone head to head, this wouldn’t have happened?

QUACKITY: It would have happened, Wilbur. It would have happened, one way or another; this result was inevitable. You see, when I ran for president I saw a one-party system that wasn’t democratic at all, and one way or another; all of this would have happened. What’s important to keep in mind is that all of that is behind us, and all we need to look forward to is the future. If you think about it, Tommy, now all you have in your sights is Dream

TOMMY: You’re right, Big Q, you’re right, but I think-

QUACKITY: He cannot threaten our country anymore because he’s destroyed it. Very unfortunately, but it’s gone.

TOMMY: The thing that upsets me the most is that all this time, Technoblade told me I was betraying him, and you know what; I did. But he was our friend, we spent hours with him, building, taking people hostage, and just-

GHOSTBUR: Every book is gone.

TOMMY: He betrayed us, and he-

GHOSTBUR: I need to go and talk to Phil.

TOMMY: Okay. We were never really his friend, were we?

TECHNOBLADE shoots TUBBO and kills him using [Rocket Launcher].

TOMMY: He’s a monster.

QUACKITY: Yeah.

TOMMY: And he- but he-

QUACKITY: Tommy. Trust nobody. Trust nobody, Tommy, okay?

TOMMY: The thing is-

QUACKITY: Except for Tubbo. Trust nobody.

TOMMY: Yeah.

QUACKITY: Okay.

TOMMY: You’re right. He- people- the discs aren’t people. The discs were stolen from me, Big Q. They were mine, and they were stolen.

JACK MANIFOLD messages TECHNOBLADE

JACK MANIFOLD, messaging: you’ve made an enemy of me technoblade

JACK MANIFOLD, messaging: live in fear

TECHNOBLADE, messaging: i still have tnt

TECHNOBLADE, messaging: your house is right there

TOMMY: L’Manberg isn’t anyone’s, L’Manberg was its own; and me chasing the discs for which I put so much- I fucked up so bad, but they were mine. L’Manberg was ours, L’Manberg was people’s. It was ours. The problem with Techno is that he will never compromise. He will never ever let anyone else have what they want because unless it aligns with exactly what he wants; then we’ve betrayed him. It’s all gone, it’s all gone.

QUACKITY: Let this be a lesson, Tommy. Let it be a lesson, and just finish it off. Finish it off, Tommy.

TOMMY: We can’t let him win.

TOMMY: What do you mean?

QUACKITY: Yeah, let him win, Tommy. And we’re not gonna let him win. No matter how much it takes, how much fighting, guess what?

TOMMY: What I feared losing the most, I can still get back. You’re right.

TOMMY: What?

QUACKITY: Maybe use your discs as leverage, Tommy, but remember; you’re going after a man for what he’s done. Okay? You’re not going after a man for what he took from you, but for what he’s done. You said it yourself; it’s our L’Manberg. Use the discs as an excuse, Tommy, but-

TOMMY: He can’t pay for this.

QUACKITY: But go after Dream for means of justice, not the discs, okay?

TOMMY: You’re right. It’s just- he’s selfish, Big Q! Technoblade, he didn’t- he could have just, he didn’t have- my shit was stolen from me! He could have just let us do our government and let him not have government, he could have just- it’s just, he’s a selfish, selfish bastard.

QUACKITY: That’s true.

TOMMY: But… that’s behind us now. And, although Technoblade… might have been terrible-

GHOSTBUR: I take it back, Tommy. Tommy, I take it back.

TOMMY: Dream was the worst. What do you take back, Wilbur?

GHOSTBUR: I’m feeling- I’m burning in the rain right now, and I just… Tommy, I want you to bring me back to life.

TOMMY: What?

TOMMY is struck by lightning.

1:01:00

GHOSTBUR: Tommy

GHOSTBUR: Okay, I need to come see you.

TOMMY: Yeah?

TOMMY: I don’t know what Fundy’s deal was tonight. You know what, you’re right, Big Q. From now on, trust no one.

GHOSTBUR: I’m here. Have some blue, calm yourself, calm yourself.

TOMMY: Oh I need calm.

GHOSTBUR: Please, calm yourselves, calm yourselves.

TUBBO: Thank god Jack Manifold’s here, Jesus, what would we do without him?

JACK MANIFOLD: I just want to help out, guys.

TOMMY: What will we do without him and his silence?

QUACKITY: Does anyone have food?

GHOSTBUR: Tommy, I know- I know, I know how I said that I didn’t wanna be brought back to life because that would mean me, as Ghostbur, would stop existing. But I want you to bring me back to life.

TOMMY: Hey Wilbur

TOMMY: Really?

GHOSTBUR: And I know who can do it.

TOMMY: Well, you know what, Wilbur? Here’s what we do. Here’s what we do now, because there is- there are some last things, there is something we can do. ‘Cause we lost today. We lost L’Manberg, but we did not lose what we stand for. And although you won’t remember this-

TOMMY: Who?

GHOSTBUR: I lost friend.

TOMMY: Tubbo. I don’t know when, but soon - Dream said he’s gonna far away, away. This is what we do; the next few nights or however long we can over the next week or two, we prepare everything. Everything we’ve got because, Tubbo, this war - L’Manberg was forged - every war on this server, the conflicts that Dream started, was started with me and you. And you know what, Tubbo? It’s gonna end with me and you.

TUBBO: Okay.

TOMMY: And it has been for a long time,

GHOSTBUR: Can I have some blue?

TOMMY: I’ve only got six left.

GHOSTBUR: Just one, I just need one. Thank you.

TOMMY: But we’re gonna take him out. You hear me? Come with me, everyone.

1:04:46

TOMMY: Oh my god, shut up. Look.

GHOSTBUR: Goodbye friend.

GHOSTBUR: What?

TOMMY: Be careful, guys, there’s holes in the bridge.

GHOSTBUR: Together we as friends can take on any foe on the bridge.

QUACKITY: Yeah, I guess.

GHOSTBUR falls.

QUACKITY: Oh well, he’s-

1:05:29

TOMMY: Tubbo, this is the disc I listened to in exile. Where are you, Wilbur?

GHOSTBUR: I’m coming

TOMMY: Ah. Sorry.

TOMMY: Why are you coming?

GHOSTBUR: Here I come. Are you at your jukebox spot?

TOMMY: Yeah, I am.

GHOSTBUR: Okay. Hi!

TOMMY: Hi. Sit down.

GHOSTBUR: My skin is really hurting in this rain- oh! It’s not raining here

TOMMY: That is so weird- oh, when did that- I haven’t been here for so long.

1:06:39

TOMMY: Guys, is George asleep right now?

TUBBO: Yeah, yeah

QUACKITY: He fucking is! Argh! - Sorry. It brought me flashbacks, I’m sorry.

TOMMY: It doesn’t end here.

TOMMY plays the disc “chirp”.

GHOSTBUR: Chirp.

TUBBO: I like this version.

JACK MANIFOLD: I like this one.

TOMMY: Wow.

1:08:28

TOMMY: Everyone. Take your blue, Wilbur. I’ll ehm-

GHOSTBUR: I’ll leave.

TOMMY: I’ll see you ehm- we gotta fucking prepare.

TOMMY: I’ll see you all soon, okay? Tubbo?

TUBBO: Okay.

QUACKITY: Tommy.

TOMMY: Big Q. Yeah?

GHOSTBUR: Hello!

QUACKITY: Remember just one thing.

GHOSTBUR: Tommy! Do you remember the first time- oh, sorry, Quackity.

QUACKITY: Yeah. Tommy, you’re going after Dream and Dream has a lot of people on his side, so trust nobody, okay? That’s all I’m gonna tell you.

TOMMY: Yeah. What was that, Wilbur?

GHOSTBUR: Do you remember the first thing that I ever said to you, Tommy?

TOMMY: What?

GHOSTBUR: I came up to you, you were right here, and I came up to you and went “Hello, I’m Ghostbur!”.

TOMMY: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

GHOSTBUR: Hey! Goodbye, I’m Ghostbur!

TOMMY: Goodbye, Ghostbur.

GHOSTBUR: Bye, bye!

TOMMY: Goodbye everyone.

1:10:26

TOMMY: But listen to me, we’re going to get back the discs. And then I’m gonna fucking kill Dream.

[ghostyearzero0]

She Got The Looks That Kill!

Warnings: Mentions of Drugs. Drug use. Language. Smut. Alcohol.  don’t read if you don’t like these kinds of things.  Be strong and laugh ANNNDD!  SHOUT AT THE DEVIL  1982  It was the year Motley had made their debut album Too Fast For Love. They were already a hit. Selling out their shows and merch pretty fast. The boys got their names around pretty quickly. Nikki was already writing songs for their next album, due to come out the next year. He was busy, writing in his journal when Mick popped in with a red-headed woman. Tommy looked from his drum set and smiled. Vince looked over and smirked. “Well, I be damn. Mick you got yourself a vixen?” The blonde asked. The goth guitarist glared at the blonde, who was wearing pink lipstick. “No.... This... is my sister, Lucey.” He was hesitant but stayed VERY close to her. Especially when she was close to Vince.   The blonde chuckled and went up to her, “I’m Vince. I’m the lead singer of the band.” He stuck his hand out. Lucey nodded and shook his hand. Tommy quickly made his way over. “I’m Tommy Lee! I’m the drummer!” The young 20 year old said in a very excited tone. His curly hair bounced a bit as he nodded his head softly. Lastly, Nikki went over. “And I’m Nikki. I founded the band. The four of us fuckers formed the band together. Your brother came up with the name.” He chuckled. “Yeah, I told her all about you fuckers.” Mick spoke up. “Why hadn’t you introduced us to Lucey before hand?” Vince asked. “I know you fuckers would totally want to touch my sister. As much as I love her. And she loves me, I don’t want anything happening to her. Such as heartbreak.” Mick crossed his arms. Vince rose a brow and placed a hand on his hip, “And who would break her fuckin’ heart?” Mick rolled his blue eyes. “One of you fuckers. You would date her, knock her up. As soon as she gets pregnant, you’ll leave her ass for a hotter chick. That you would end up fucking regardless you got Lucey pregnant or not.” He huffed. Tommy pouted, “Hey! I would never cheat on the woman I am with. Especially if she’s carrying my kid. I’m a hopeless romantic. I would never break Lucey’s heart if she were to be my girl.” He then smiled. Nikki nodded softly, his fluffy black hair bouncing a bit, “And I don’t cheat on a girl I’m being serious with. I wouldn’t break her heart.” He hummed. Vince chuckled, “And well... a girl I’m really in love with, I’ll be loyal.” He shrugged. Mick laughed, “Yeah okay.” He didn’t believe the singer. Vince flipped him off and looked at Lucey.  “So, do you work-?” He asked. “At the pizza shop in my hometown, but my boss is a total dick.” She whined softly. Nikki chuckled, “Ah, I’m sorry. Can you get a better job?” He asked. “I am not really good at anything.. Maybe writing but no body would want to actually read my books.” She hummed. “I’d totally read your books!” Both of the Terror Twins said in unison. Then they looked at each other, exchanging smiles. “Are you single?” Tommy asked with a soft smirk, causing Mick to glare. “Mhm....” She nodded. Tommy snorted, “Killer...” Mick hissed, “Don’t get any ideas, drummer!” He warned. “Man, she’s a grown woman. . . Let her make her own choices.” Vince spoke up. Mick blinked, “I am. But I wouldn’t want one of you jackasses to date my sister.” He huffed.  “Well, I am 22.” She nodded. “Aww. young like Tommy! Only two years older than him and two years younger than Nikki... Funny.” Vince laughed softly and reached to ruffle her red curls. Mick looked at the boys. “Anyway, what’s new with you assholes?” He asked. “Nothin’. Waiting on Sixx to write new material for the new album.” Vince said. “What about you, Drummer?” Mick asked. Tommy shrugged, “Hanging out with Nik.” He said. “And I was just writing some new songs.” Nikki picked up his notebook. “Killer, man! Let’s see what you got!” Tommy walked up next to Nikki. He leaned over to look at the paper. Nikki laughed, “Nothing... much..” Vince then walked up to him as Nikki said that. “Shout at the devil? Nice. That’ll get people’s attention! Let me see those lyrics!” He reached for the piece of paper that had half of Shout At The Devil song written on it. “Sure man, it’s not finished-” Nikki blinked and handing it to the blonde.  “Fuck it. Let’s see how this fucker sounds!” Vince started to read the first verse. While he was doing that, Tommy looked at Nikki, “Did you write anymore?” He asked. “No... I was just got started with that one. Okay maybe I wrote a little bit on the others but... not much...” Nikki rubbed his arms. Mick walked over to the twins. “Really?” He rose his brow. “We got a whole other half of the year, Mars. Give me a bit of time and I’ll get you those songs.” Nikki smirked. He looked over at Lucey who was sitting down on the couch. Tommy started to chat with Mick. Good. A distraction. Nikki hurried his way towards Lucey, without making it obvious. He flopped his ass down on the couch, next to the red head. She whipped her head and saw Nikki.  “Tell me a bit more about yourself.” He was ready to listen to whatever she had to say. “Well... I’m trying to be a really good writer. I have no story to go by.. Only about my life so far.” She twirled her hair. “Yeah? One day I’ll be in that story... Erm, maybe.” He smirked with a little laugh. She giggled softly. “One day. I live in a shit-hole apartment with a puppy named Cleopatra.” She said. “Awwh!!! I love dogs!  Expect for German Shepards... But what kind of dog is Cleo?” He asked. “A Black lab. She’s a few months.” She said. Nikki smiled. But then he looked around. “Say, lets take this conversation to my room.” Since they were at the Motley House, Mick brought her to. Lucey shrugged and nodded. She followed Nikki towards his room. He shut and the door once both of them were in. He sat down on the bed with her.  He looked at her. She wore knee-high boots with a black skirt and a dark purple tang top. Her hair was down, it was just at her shoulders, a few inches longer. She had a beautiful set of blue-eyes and wore bright red lipstick. Nikki’s green eyes sparkled. He never laid his eyes on upon such a beautiful woman. He had to make her his. He placed his hand on her thigh. She looked at him with a soft blush. “Nikki? What are you doing?” She asked. “Well, do you want to something... fun?” He smirked at her. “Yeah... Uhm, but we have to be quiet so Mick doesn’t come in here and kick your ass.” She said, “I know. You stay quiet.” He smirked once more. Lucey smiled softly. Nikki leaned forward and kissed her on the lips softly. She returned the kiss, deepening it. She wrapped her arms around his neck. The two proceeded to make out for a bit before Nikki pulled away. He got up and took off his boots first. Then he started to strip. Lucey proceeded to do the same. Then once they were fully naked, they sat down next to each other.  -- Skipping the smut since I wrote too many in the past and I don’t feel like writing out a whole new one at the moment. Might add one here and there but meh. --  After the two had their scene of fun, the two had messy hair and smelled like sex. Lucey placed her clothes and boots back on. Nikki did the same. He opened the door and let her out first, following behind her. Mick looked at the two and rose a brow. He didn’t question it. At all. Tommy smirked and snorted, already knowing what they did. Vince... he wasn’t paying attention at all.  Nikki looked at Lucey, and whispered in her ear. “Tomorrow I’m picking you up and taking you out on your first date.” He said. She nodded and smiled softly. He kissed her cheek quickly and went over to Vince. Tommy looked at Lucey, giving her a soft smile before going to the other two. Mick blinked, “Ready to go home...?” He asked. She nodded. Though when Mick wasn’t looking, she slipped her phone number into Nikki’s phone book. Then she got up and left with Mick.