NO. NO, NO, FUCKING NO!
HE'S NOT GAY, HE'S NOT A "BABYGIRL" OR A "MALEWIFE" OR A BOTTOM OR ANY OF THAT
HE'S NOT A FUCKING UWU DEVIL BOTTOM FEMBOY
HE'S NOT A GAY FUCKING BOTTOM, HE'S BISEXUAL AND HE'S MINE AND ONLY MINE AND WE'RE FUCKING HAPPY TOGETHER
SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
NO. NO. NO. NO.
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Yes, I love Jin Guangyao. Yes, I also love Nie Mingjue. We exist
And we want them to fuck
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I’m reading Witch King by Martha Wells, and now that I have read more than one (1) series by this author, I have been suddenly brained with a two-by-four sharpied over with “realizing that I really enjoy novels by Martha Wells because they live in the specific niche created by the intersection of casually and thoroughly queer casts and non-romance storylines”
I am as ever a sucker for non-human main characters struggling with their very human feelings, which is why I jumped on Witch King the moment I saw “the author of Murderbot wrote another book with a main character that’s non-human,” but I live in this dichotomy where I can really enjoy reading queer romances but I don’t really identify with non-ace characters (which is not actually something I figured out how to differentiate until I was Last Week Years Old). so there are lots of books out there that I enjoy reading but it’s comparatively rare for me to read something that feels like it was written For Me and Martha Wells does that very well
anyway, give me more ace it-pronouns human-spliced robot main characters and people-eating demons who consider rank over gender when finding new bodies to inhabit
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the fact that we're getting the corporation rim version of Murderbot and that everyone is kinda bummed about it is a pretty ringing endorsement for the anticapitalist themes of the books
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Based on a poll I saw about jobs...
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extremely funny to me seeing people say that Bertie has a heart of gold when his immediate solution to getting Freddie back together with his fiancée was to kidnap a child
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I think a key thing to remember when judging all those "Astarion/Minthara/Lae'zel disapproves" reactions to like... helping orphans is that in context they're often rather realistic and practical considering what's being asked of them. If anything it's the more good-aligned companions willingness to drop everything and risk their lives to help randos in need of help that is unreasonable to expect.
Remember, from their perspective things like save-scumming are not real. They cannot metagame and prepare for what specific enemy or attack they might face. In-universe, death has consequence and you can die. Plus we're on an unknown time limit here to potential squid-ifying, not to mention their own personal baggage.
It's like... they're playing blind and on Honour Mode, and the consequences of failure isn't just a story going the way you might not like or your fave character dying. It's actual life and death. There are real stakes here for them.
So while yes they can approve of just... petty asshole stuff or even genuinely evil stuff, it's not unreasonable for them to have a problem with risking their lives for random strangers. Because if they're in your party, that's what you're doing. Making the choice to put their lives on the line for strangers. If anything they're all oddly brave and ride-or-die for whatever bullshit decisions you make from the start--I mean it takes a lot of reckless altruism while also being an asshole to them specifically (it's not hard to balance their approval by being nice to them directly on a good playthrough) to get them to hate you, let alone ditch the group.
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I don't think narinder has calmed down at all. I just think lamb let's him go out of the cult to take out all his violence sadistic tendencies on some poor heretics and he comes back covered in blood and purring. If they don't let him do that he will like , eat a follower or bomb the whole cult
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“Claude in Hopes is exactly the same way he is in Houses! He’s always been like that and has the same feelings/morals!”
Claude in GW/Hopes:
Claude, literally, in Houses:
Let that speak for the fact that Claude was written with a 180 characterization in Hopes.
Claude wants peace and to bring everyone together; not to tear them further apart. That is his character.
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super long rant incoming:
the joegoldbergification is super weird. like please please if you’re obsessed with me to an unhealthy and dangerous degree, just keep it to yourself. just don’t tell me, please. the amount of times someone has gotten like this with me and escalated things when i’ve told them to stop is seriously wild. and like wtf is this about saying how you didn’t want to have parasocial interactions like hello?? is my existence a performance to you? am i content created to be fed and consumed by you? and why WHY would you ever think it’s alright to take my kindness as an avenue to then start talking shit about femmes you had falling outs with?? what do you gain from that? certainly not respect from me and that’s why i called you out repeatedly on that shit. so so fucking weird. do you think you gain my pity or my sympathy?? you’re not a beaten dog so please stop. like oh my god the dog metaphor makes me wanna slam my head into a wall. like as someone who has literally been forced to watch animal cruelty take place, shut the fuck up. shut the hell up. your relationship ended and now you wanna demonize people and rewrite history thinking that if certain people don’t know the full story that they’ll just believe you. legitimately how the fuck and why the fuck would i do that when you position yourself as a blameless victim?? it’s so weird and odd. and on top of aaaaaall of that, to obsessively text me and try to like corral me into a corner and say all of this weird stuff like as if you’re spiraling about me when we’d only texted for three days (two of which i wasn’t even responding to you for) is seriously bonkers. like seriously thank fuck something told me not to sext you because i just know things would have gotten awful. it’s not normal and it’s not okay and it’s not healthy. please stop idolizing me. i’m just a person and i am no more interesting than the next person. your obsession is not my responsibility! to try and manipulate me with the way you talk about your ex is super super weird. like extremely weird. i have a mind of my own?? hello?? i make my own judgments myself and i use intuition for a great deal of that. took me all of five seconds after blocking you to check the femme discord and see that i should have already done so but i haven’t because i’ve been busy with family emergencies for like two months. very uncool. very weird, very strange behavior. not my job, not my problem. i am not all of these weird deified titles you like to call me. i don’t have to be ‘omnipotent’ to know that you are trying to bury her and scream your lungs out into the fucking grave as if she deserves it. god i fucking hate when people do this shit. like can toxic mutuals maybe just instead leave me alone?? ‘why are you mutuals with them if they’re toxic” BECAUSE I DIDNT KNOW AND I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO BE SOCIAL AND FIND OUT UNTIL NOW. like fuck dude i hate it here sometimes. if you’re just haha obsessed with me, GREAT. but please don’t start dumping all this weird shit about how i *make* you feel when im not doing anything and i’ve stated that im not encouraging anything and ive communicated that’s a you thing. i literally told you to focus on yourself and stop talking shit about her and you just kept doing it. the whole obsessed with me thing can be what it is, at this point it’s so normal irl and on here that i’m too exhausted to try and do it all, but the decision to keep going and keep talking shit about her and demonizing them and making yourself a blameless victim is fucking gross and no i actually won’t just sit there and listen to it in exchange for your attention or some weird shit like that. i find it super super weird your constant asking of me to tell you what i think about you and what i think about ANYTHING and everything about you. what the actual fuck?? and then to be like ‘i want to take accountability’ after i’ve already told you everything you’re doing wrong and locked my boundaries and said how uncomfortable i am?? that’s hilarious. anyways ugh okay that’s it bye
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Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!
You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!
You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!
You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!
Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!
Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!
So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.
Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!
You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.
Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!
Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.
Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.
Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*
Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...
Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.
Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.
Better not get confident.
Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)
Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people
- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties
- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations
- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you
- you might start loving the effect you have on a room
- you might enjoy conversations more
- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently
- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations
- you might stop apologizing so much.
- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.
Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!
Why, it would be carnage!!
In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!
If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:
- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.
- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.
- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.
- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.
You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.
So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.
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The notes are so funny bc here are the 'downsides of being an only child' that are literally not unique to being an only child and more of a parenting/situational thing really:
- "It's lonely!/Siblings are built-in friends!" One of my brothers played with me out of a sense of necessity because we were not allowed to be with other kids and he deeply resented me for that, which made for a bad relationship and me being extremely alone all the time anyway. I'd rather have skipped the hatred (on his part) and heart break (on mine) and gone directly to playing alone. I have literally never had an intimate conversation with any of my 3 brothers (except literally One time with one of them) but I've had countless of horrid fights (with me or witnessed). Hell is other people, etc.
- "All the attention is suffocating!" I was monitored 24/7 and pretty much never left alone, up to a point where my bathroom time was also monitored. My brother actively and voluntarily participated in the monitoring at some points.
- "You get unconditional support as an adult!" I've been in a lot of trouble since I was 17 and they've never helped, not materially or emotionally.
-"You have more people to build happy memories with!" My brother got married 3 days before I was back in the country (he set the date way after I had bought my plane tickets and also he actively chose to hide it from me) and still blames me for being upset because "it was a ceremony for closed loved ones only anyway" (I guess I wasn't counted!). That's just the most egregious examples in a long, long list.
I get grass is greener ect but what bothers me is that it reinforces the idea that sibling relationships are *always* a net positive, in a very "nuclear family is sacred" way
Like I'm not venting for the sake of it, I've been no contact for 4 years and it's great, I'm just frustrated that it's so goddamn hard to get people to acknowledge sibling abuse, or even get them to *not* perform shocked incredulity at the idea. Especially on tumblr, THE website where people talk about parental abuse all the time and understand that sometimes you really cannot salvage the relationship and it truly is detrimental
All I'm saying is stop assuming that things would be better with a sibling around. You don't know that! Believe me, things could be so much worse with a sibling around.
The good news is you get to choose your friends and siblings as an adult! :) Life can be sweet not matter who your nuclear family is! You're not a failure for not experiencing the hegemonic ideal of siblinghood! It's okay!
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Y'all do know you can't make Jason be NOT white without changing his whole character, right?
For other characters, yes, because their physical appearance are not that influential in their story, on how they are viewed by people, on their personality formation — you can have a black/asian/indigenous/arab/brown/latino/etc Nico and yes, the hate he gets will have a undertone of racism but at the same time nothing significant on his story, motivation or personality will need to change. This is also true for other characters: Clarisse risks repeating the "aggressive WoC" stereotype but the character itself doesn't change.
This isn't true for Jason, whose main character trait is how he is perceived by others and how he showcases himself to others based on that perception. (specially with how little effort Riordan put on him besides making him perfect-er Percy who's somehow also weaker and less important than him).
Let's not pretend a black, Arab, indigenous, Asian, Latin man, etc, in the USA would ever be treated with the universal reverence Jason gets from New Roma, you can't have the illusion of perfection and most of all, of invincibility they have about him when you see him suffering racism or xenophobia in the middle of a mission. Nothing in his life has ever gone wrong, that's his image, destined to be king, he is supposed to have no weakness on his peers eyes.
He is not trying to prove people wrong, he is trying to prove them right; he isn't worthy despite their prejudice, on the contrary, he only tried to make himself worthy to fulfill their expectations. He can't be a woman or an immigrant or have a visible disability or any other thing that strays him from a perfect ideal by western society standards, and be that same character.
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when you consider how much social shame ‘cowardice’ incurs in Ishgard combined with how heavily the culture pushes the idea of dying in battle as a great and good and honourable thing to the point that ‘die well (for Halone)’ is an incredibly casual, typical, and even comforting way of saying goodbye
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what are the odds that the two most well known musical artists in the country would both release highly anticipated albums around april 2024 and i would listen to them both and go “good! but i thought i’d like them more” both times. and for some godforsaken reason post malone is there too
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COACH what to do if im disabled and can't run for exercise... what the fuck do I do
ONLY DO WHAT YOU'RE CAPABLE OF, SON. IT DEPENDS ON THE REASON FOR YOUR INABILITY TO RUN. YOU MAY CHOOSE TO DO EXERCISES THAT RELY LESS ON YOUR LOWER BODY, SUCH AS SIT-UPS (WHICH CAN ALSO BE DONE STANDING BY BENDING YOUR LEGS SLIGHTLY THEN BOWING AND STRAIGHTENING AGAIN LIKE YOU WOULD REGULAR SIT-UPS IF YOU HAVE DIFFICULTIES GETTING ON THE GROUND), CHIN-UPS, PULL-UPS, DIPS, SO ON. YOU ALSO MAY CONSIDER FREE WEIGHT EXERCISES WITH SOMETHING SMALL. 1KG DUMBBELLS CAN BE BOUGHT FOR AS LOW AS 5 REÁL; THEY'RE SMALL ENOUGH TO STORE AND CAN GO A LONG WAY (BICEP CURL, ZOTTMAN CURL, FLAT DUMBBELL FLY, ARNOLD PRESS, CROSS BODY HAMMER CURL, SPIDER CURL, SCAPTION EXCERCISES, I COULD GO ON -- THESE ALL WORK EXCLUSIVELY YOUR UPPER BODY MUSCLES). MEDICINE BALLS AND KETTLEBELLS TEND TO BE MORE EXPENSIVE BUT CAN ALSO BE AN OPTION TO LOOK AT. AND FINALLY, IF THOSE AREN'T OPTIONS, STRETCHING THREE TO FOUR TIMES A WEEK FOR AT LEAST 20 MINUTES CAN HELP ALLEVIATE MUSCLE TENSION AND REDUCE PAIN AND TENSION IN THE BODY AS WELL AS INCREASE FLEXIBILITY, BALANCE BLOOD CIRCULATION AND LUCIDITY. YOU MAY WANT TO DO STRETCHES FOR YOUR LEGS REGARDLESS TO ENSURE THEY DON'T GO UNDERUTILISED
COACH... OUT❗❗💥💪💪
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