#because i cut bridges
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The notes are so funny bc here are the 'downsides of being an only child' that are literally not unique to being an only child and more of a parenting/situational thing really:
- "It's lonely!/Siblings are built-in friends!" One of my brothers played with me out of a sense of necessity because we were not allowed to be with other kids and he deeply resented me for that, which made for a bad relationship and me being extremely alone all the time anyway. I'd rather have skipped the hatred (on his part) and heart break (on mine) and gone directly to playing alone. I have literally never had an intimate conversation with any of my 3 brothers (except literally One time with one of them) but I've had countless of horrid fights (with me or witnessed). Hell is other people, etc.
- "All the attention is suffocating!" I was monitored 24/7 and pretty much never left alone, up to a point where my bathroom time was also monitored. My brother actively and voluntarily participated in the monitoring at some points.
- "You get unconditional support as an adult!" I've been in a lot of trouble since I was 17 and they've never helped, not materially or emotionally.
-"You have more people to build happy memories with!" My brother got married 3 days before I was back in the country (he set the date way after I had bought my plane tickets and also he actively chose to hide it from me) and still blames me for being upset because "it was a ceremony for closed loved ones only anyway" (I guess I wasn't counted!). That's just the most egregious examples in a long, long list.
I get grass is greener ect but what bothers me is that it reinforces the idea that sibling relationships are *always* a net positive, in a very "nuclear family is sacred" way
Like I'm not venting for the sake of it, I've been no contact for 4 years and it's great, I'm just frustrated that it's so goddamn hard to get people to acknowledge sibling abuse, or even get them to *not* perform shocked incredulity at the idea. Especially on tumblr, THE website where people talk about parental abuse all the time and understand that sometimes you really cannot salvage the relationship and it truly is detrimental
All I'm saying is stop assuming that things would be better with a sibling around. You don't know that! Believe me, things could be so much worse with a sibling around.
The good news is you get to choose your friends and siblings as an adult! :) Life can be sweet not matter who your nuclear family is! You're not a failure for not experiencing the hegemonic ideal of siblinghood! It's okay!
#sibling abuse#this is wild to me#and concerning bc again its this mentality that prevented me from cutting contact earlier#which would have greatly improved my early twenties#this is not me saying that cutting family off is the only option yada yada i hate this disclaimer#sometimes when you are lucky enough that you're not financially dependent on them it is the best option though#also i hate the sentiment that its the parents who have failed if siblings dont get along#in some ways yes but sometimes the circumstances are so out of the parents control and this is a very punitive framework#the main reason why my mother cant accept my decision is because she had deeply internalized that she has failed her entire life#because i cut bridges#which is horrifying! Ive told her many times that im beyond assigning blame and i dont think its a personal failing of hers#but the societal expectation is so deeply ingrained#truly at this point theres nothing she can do and ive told her explicitly that i want her to be happy and let it go#like its so crazy i dont tell people irl that im no contact with my brothers because the judgment is so pervasive#literally theyre doing well im doing well (minus the illness lol) who cares!#god the notes are worse than i thought... so much suspicion at people who have siblings and say they would rather not#someone literally its 'evil'#we're never making it out of the nuclear family mentality
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NO | MEGHAN TRAINOR
Jiang Cheng, our favourite asexual girlboss + his asexual girlboss anthem 💜
#jiang cheng#did I make this whole video for the gag of 'if I wanna man then Imma get a man'#over JC grabbing and dragging NHS away? maybe so#sorry there's an Odd pacing moment towards the end I had to cut out the bridge because I simply did not want to do it ✌️#the untamed#also billie pointed out the hilarious irony of JC walking into the temple to 'untouchable untouchaaabbbblleee' on repeat#when he is almost IMMEDIATELY stabbed and then emotionally eviscerated dsklfjdklfs#she wanted me to include that the end but no. this is JC's girlboss anthem. I wouldn't do him dirty like that.#but please feel free to imagine it dsjklfsjkflsf
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“Red team was so selfish looking past the cursed team like that” listen man they were thinking about it often, and had evidence they were cursed too. They were convinced they were cursed too. Bad (with Pierre’s help I’ll be honest) singlehandedly destroyed any sort of civil relations and good faith between the two teams and this shot Blue in the foot when they tried to make the case about them being cursed last minute, about trying to rig it in the cursed teams favor.
There was never a cursed team in the first place, it was all a tactic to build paranoia and that feeling of betrayal and to get them to tear eachother a part. And it worked super well! At the end, neither would listen to the other about their evidence, not with an honest open ear, not with the willingness to think the other team could be cursed. It’s not a case of ‘Red just refused to listen because they wanted to win more than they cared’ they thought they were cursed too - if they were selfish, then so were Blue in the same way.
Every time Red had tried to talk first early on, it was met with extreme violence - and with Bad consistently proving he’ll play dirty to win, they didn’t trust Blue enough to listen to them in the later game. Maybe they should have listened then. Maybe Blue have listened earlier. The game worked as intended to set them against eachother.
#link is to another post I made back when they were debating about the cursed teams in purgatory and why red couldn’t trust blue and blue#couldn’t believe red. they were both stuck#and bless Tubbo he tried. he did try. but he was just as convinced he was right as Phil at the end. it was about convincing one another#more than it was about coming together and piecing together the evidence. yknow what I mean? they all cared about it but because of tension#and they also could not trust blue. which sucks because that’s hardly Tubbo’s fault but yknow#I dunno. it’s not simple like that. it’s not a case of red blowing it off being selfish not caring. they also thought they were cursed#AGAIN I’ll say it again bad burning bridges fucked a lot of them over for when diplomacy had to win because there could not be benefit of#the doubt or good faith or any sort of trust#it’s not just cut and dry red wanted to win more or blue wanted to win more. it was complicated and had way more factors#red thought they were cursed too!! they had solid evidence for this too!!#and like. again it’s a case of both parties kinda suck purgatory sucked it was always going to be like that because the game worked as#intended#idk. blue should have listened to red early on. red should have listened to blue later on. they were never going to do that on either side#idk from Tina’s pov it’s understandable why she said what she said. but knowing the others pov and what actually went down that’s not what#happened at all yknow?#they’re all gonna be feeling the effects of ‘we killed and betrayed eachother for two weeks’ for a while to come#mcyt#qsmp#qsmp purgatory#z speaks
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Love (cannot emphasis how much sarcasm there is in that word) that an official Canadian government response to high cellphone rates is to switch carriers.
Switch it to what? We basically have three companies since one was allowed to eat the forth (with the government saying it wasn't anti-competition and the company eating the other pinky promising they wouldn't jack rates up). Even the smaller companies have to rent infrastructure from the Big Three so there's only so much they can do if that rent costs an arm and a leg.
And that's not touching on how many "small companies" are actually just subsidiaries of the Big Three. You may save $5 but you're still with Telus/Rogers/Bell.
Or that the actual small companies tend to have shit coverage because they don't have the infrastructure available to them and are prevented from getting it. Or their traffic is throttled in favour of the Big Three's customers. Or both.
Or that they're extremely regional thus aren't an option for a huge chunk of Canada's population.
We have no true options and the government has shown time and again that they're fine with monopolies, in multiple industries, and don't care when said monopolies jack up prices to make shareholders and the c-suite more money at the expense of everyone else. At most there will be a verbal slap on the wrist and a giftcard for $25 that people have to register for, for a decade and a half of price gouging.
It's not talked a whole lot about outside the country from what I've seen and heard but Canada is a country of monopolies. A handful of companies own nearly everything, every province has a family or two that owns a hell of a lot (Nova Scotia is basically owned by one family at this point), and our government ignores it. Even the branch that is supposed to be against monopolies is fine with mergers and takeovers in most cases.
Because, you know, the company said it totally wouldn't use consumers' lack of options to increase prices.
#canada#so much of our infrastructure and critical construction such as housing#has been pawned off for decades to private companies#and i forgot to mention one (1) family owns the bridge that is a major international corridor between canada and the us#which is apparently fine even though they fought tooth and nail to stop a bridge they don't own from being built#like our housing crisis can be traced back to the government deciding to stop building public housing in the 90s#because they figured private developers would pick up the slack#affordable apartments don't bring in much money so we got decades of cheap-ass 'luxury condos' instead#and once airbnb became a thing we got entire buildings with units <300sqft#and of course when the party in charge rotates between conservatives and neolibs nothing changes and that can gets kicked down the road#and keeps getting kicked until something collapses and they see the chance to fully privatize an industry#something similar is happening to our healthcare system too#it has been left to languish for years/decades with funding freezes and cuts#and private companies are quick to jump in and get the government stamp of approval to do [thing] that the public system clearly can't do#when [thing] would absolutely be possible if it was actually funded and/or staffed#so many communities were cut off when greyhound closed up shop because there's no government inter-city transportation#we lost internet/banking/cell service/etc nation-wide because one of the big three decided to push an update to live without redundancies#and it bugged and took the entire company's network down#even the government agency that demands major companies have a backup on a different network was taken down because they ignored that#and they got a deal if they kept their backup with rogers while their main network was also rogers#so they couldn't even make an emergency statement or anything about it#half my province also lost all digital infrastructure because it's a private company and making a redundancy line would mean smaller bonuse#it's just so bad#joke all you want about how canada is nice and friendly#but you are wrong and it's hell if you actually live here#the only reason canada is seen as nice is because it's hard to not seem like the better option when the us is your neighbour#and because of decades of pr work to make canada seem friendly and nice and not at all problematic#in some countries you actually have to try to hide you're canadian because of how much we colonize and the damage we do to other countries#yes these tags have derailed from the post but ugh#i take major issue with people who insist canada is nice and has never done anything wrong
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Arsay//Azem
#WOL posting#ffxiv#Arsay Nun#Lethe Nu#ffxiv azem#ffxiv gpose#posting these on their own because I did a lot of work to get that good match cut effect#The curve of the flower path matches the curve of the bridge#the tone of cyan match between the two#eye placement matches up#little differences in their expressions despite that though!!#the way arsays collar mirrors the draping of the hood#endwalker spoilers
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he sat there on the ground and cried. for cas. cas told him he loved him was taken away and he buried his head in his hands and wept
#AND THEN THEY TRIED TO PRETEND LIKE IT WAS FINE? and after the widower arc#it wasn’t even as nearly fucked then this time all their friends got thanos snapped and we don’t even get canon confirmation that they were#brought back. even with covid not even a vo or offhand mention or reference#jack is god and in every drop of rain or whatever.#sure yeah whatever they beat the final boss and got over the protagonist angst of it all but the world was still the same it just wasn’t a#chuck story which only ramped up to being The Big Problem in the season 14 finale.#cas was stabbed by an angel blade and dean broke while wrapping his body for the funeral pyre. ALONE. and was. not doing well#and you tell me it’s whatever after he sat there in that dungeon refused to answer sam’s calls and cried during the complete and total end#of the world. that he just bounced back from that and died and drove around heaven for decades in a few minutes and smiled while americana#electric guitar played on some bridge#cas helped oh that’s nice I guess smile now I have GOT to go drive my car around. because I did not get enough of that in my time on earth.#unlike my time with cas which I am satisfied with and in no need of closure. perhaps a conversation. looking upon him to see him alive and#well. healing some of that trauma of the last time I saw him. a reunion hug maybe even which has become tradition. CUT THE CAMERAS deadass#he’s going for the face touch. no this we cannot possibly have time for we have to play carry on wayward son twice#sorry. it has been three years. sorry. it’s just so funny buddy your ass did NOT escape the hamster wheel
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Sometimes I think about those "full [band] discography but only when the title of the song is said" videos and how a Sparks one would be impossible to make
#my baby's taking me home would be literally the entire song#minus the bridge i guess and a couple pauses when it's just instrumental before returning to repeating the title again#the funny thing is that even with earlier songs there's just. so much of repeating the title. oh god#this did not only start in the 00s era at all#anyway just a funny thing to think about. it would be so fun if it existed but i'm not the one who's going to take on that challenge#i have the big beat album downloaded so i guess i could try with that one. see how that would come out and how much work it'd take#and if some song titles really do take up like half of some albums' runtime. because that's my very bold estimate rn#WAIT NEVER MIND ABOUT THE MBTMH BRIDGE the title is also said in the backgroubd here i forgot#so you'd only be able to cut out like maybe 10 seconds out of this one at most lol#so maybe this would actually be pretty easy to do. hmmm well.#goosepost
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make me choose:
klapollo or miego for the gifset thing :00
or just wrightworth if we're feeling wrightworth-y ✨
(@cooliostarstache)
“The years have passed. The mystery has been solved... and our friendship has finally been restored. I'm happy."
#mmc#phoenix wright: ace attorney#wrightworth#narumitsu#phoenix wright#miles edgeworth#it would have been miego#but you made the mistake of giving me a third choice and baby i am ALWAYS feeling wrightworth-y#also the lyrics are the bridge to taylor swift's dress#with one line cut cause it didn't make sense#i've been considering making a gifset of them with it for ages#thank you for giving me a reason#ALSO PLS SEND IN MORE MAKE ME CHOOSES#I AM ALL OUT#PLEASE GIVE ME AN EXCUSE TO BE CREATIVE BECAUSE I AM FINALLY FEELING CREATIVE BUT I HAVE NO IDEAS
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day 21 was to draw something only using black and white!! bonus lineart cause i Love how it looks
#incredibox#incredibox fanart#evadare#rafe#30 day challenge#sparks creations#idk this was was easier than i thought#maybe because of my experience with print-making#the stamp kind where you roll ink onto a carved surface and then press it onto a paper#i carved multiple prints out of soft cut and you only had two colors(the ink color and the paper)#And it was harder cause i couldnt go back once i cut something#rafe is so handsome and pretty and for WHAT#i added a bump in the bridge of his nose on purpose cause i thought it would look good on him#and it DOES <3<3<3#it kinda disappeared in the final piece a little but thats because of shadow so :[#hes so gorgeous<3<3<3<3
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#having a time again#I fucking hate rsd#I hate just feeling the overwhelming urge to go scorched earth and abandon everyone and everything I’ve ever known#I thought I had it under control and it got triggered again recently#and it leaves me fucking exhausted and regretting all my life decisions in the end#hate fucking relapsing#hate being unable to read people’s minds#being built fucking Wrong#and having people hate me for reasons I’m not even Aware of because I can’t pick up on it and no one just fucking Talks#no one just Says when they’re bothered they let it fester and then it’s My fault#I didn’t Completely burn this bridge yet but god I am staring at it with a lighter and gasoline in hand#all that’s stopping me is that what I’m about to burn meant and still does mean a lot to me but#I can’t keep fucking doing this#it always ends like this#it never fucking changes and I don’t know why I bother I should stay in my little hole Alone where no one can hurt me#and I can’t accidentally hurt anyone else#idk man#having a fucking time#and maybe I shouldn’t even be Talking about it here#becuase who cares it’s social media#but if I don’t spill my guts Somewhere then I’ll fucking explode and cut ties with Everyone in my life at a trigger’s notice#and I need to pour this out somewhere Else#so I Don’t do something I know is Bad#in a moment of fucking rsd anxiety panic attack#lays down under my rock and dies#becomes a mushroom#if I’m a mushroom I’ll have no more problems#the mushroom hive mind will understand me and I will understand the mushroom hive mind
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top deepening his voice when talking to mew's moms... gun speaking higher when talking to cher's mom... i love these choices
#also in both cases i'm pretty sure it's force's natural register lol#and he does it with such precision like i would NOT be able to modulate my voice like that#i have a relatively deep voice (for an afab woman) and i have a creaky pnw accent so i already speak lower than i should#like when i try to speak higher it just gets pulled down by my accent djfljdlsjg#it's kind of a miracle i can do thai tones/japanese pitch accent#tangent: TBH PITCH ACCENT IS ONLY HARD BECAUSE NO SENSEI WILL BOTHER TO TEACH YOU FOR SOME REASON#IF I HAD LEARNED THE PITCHES WHEN THE WORDS WERE FIRST TAUGHT TO ME I WOULDN'T FORGET THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CHOPSTICKS AND BRIDGE#also re: thai tones. honestly i think the consonants are harder to replicate than the tones#like the difference between lover listen and goodnight are really hard to catch and i'd probably fuck them up#BUUUUUUT i'm so bad at Ds and Bs stress me out#you have to put your tongue in a completely different place on the roof of your mouth for D#M and B blend together#Ss turn into Ds (SOMETIMES) but american Ds because you're cutting off the breath rather than actually hissing#the tones are just like memorizing a song but you don't really have to hit the notes you just go up or down#(i know it's a little more complicated than that but you know what i mean)#(the point is that i don't have to relearn where my tongue goes lol i already know how to speak higher or lower)#ofs liveblog#abaab liveblog
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Size difference.png (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#ZEX#Crackship#Teisel#Meme#I am on a roll with these lol#I knew adding Teisel to my list was only a matter of time#I am a weakwilled individual with one fatal flaw#Anyway (lol)#ZEX really has his work cut out for him with Teisel haha - it's very fortunate he's so determined and enjoys a challenge 'cause otherwise!#Teisel is hard to pin down - I mean Other Than That lol - he's an interesting guy :0#Rough around the edges and a family man ♪ And if I get to draw long hair and big muscles then all the better hehe#And he has a cute nose! He has the bridge of the nose thing that I like so much!! Yes!!#As for the rest of him - hm! I've only had passing thoughts up to this point and getting into his head is...Something lol#It's well done to be certain it definitely Makes Me Feel it's just hard to ascribe a name to that Feeling just yet#Needs a bit more time to tumble smooth I suppose lol#One thing I know I like because it makes me sad - lol - is ZEX projecting some of his feelings about DAX onto Teisel - unexpected!#It's extremely interesting how despite his deep abiding love and fascination with Otherness he's gotten increasingly homesick#Finding things charming about humans that remind him of VUX! You can tell he's a bit desperate for the familiar :'0#So isolated from even himself ah 💔 Hang in there ZEX!#At least he has some fun distractions hehe ♪ New things to learn and consider! Teisel keeps throwing him curveballs!#Both of them circling each other like ''? Isn't it your turn?'' lol#They both come off as aggressive in their own way and then swing-and-a-miss lol#And then there's how Teisel frames him as far as age goes - or really how everyone does pffft#It is So funny to me every time anyone refer to ZEX as ''old'' now that his age has been more or less established - at least pointed at#The fact that he might not even be in his human-equivalent 50s what is this who this lol he's not old! And Max /definitely/ isn't haha#He is the slightest itty-bittiest willowiest little twink y'ever did see pfft#I have been waiting to use that meme template for someone for ages I am so glad that I finally got the chance ♪
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hi so i just finished bridge to terabithia and now i’m unwell and my eyes are red because i’ve been crying before i’d even reached 20 minutes of it for i actually knew what was going to happen and by the time i reached an hour something something i just straight up sobbing screaming into my pillow. and now it’s 12 am and i’m still thinking about them. because god, look at them, how they were, the little world they lived in, wouldn’t you just love that, to run away, to escape, to grasp that childhood naivety and innocence that you lost a long time ago, to feel the sun in your skin and the air in your lungs and to paint fantasies and laugh and play and run hidden away from the world and find an old run down tree house and decided to make it your own little shelter and pin up canvases on the worn wood and paint and let your creativity goes wild and have someone understand you and gets you and do it with you, and wouldn’t you just love to have something so constant, so sincere, so genuine, so pure, so real, that there wasn’t anything else. if i knew i was going to cry this much, if i knew how much space this movie would make in my life, i wouldn’t have started this movie tonight. i would have been in peace on the floor of my room, not realizing how badly i actually want something like this even though i would never unironically admit this to anyone in my life or even myself when i’m outside of the familiar place of my mind, for that matters
#bridge to terabithia#how am i supposed to recover#i wasn’t planning to write a paragraph about it but yeah i kinda love this movie i guess#i needed a good cry and the universe didn’t stop me from choosing this movie i don’t know if that’s nice or simply mean#i was going to watch la la land after this but that’s not gonna happen now#i’m not reading back what i wrote otherwise i would just delete it because i’d think this movie deserves better more coherent thoughts#and i’d say that i’d just rewrite it tomorrow but then i wouldn’t#because nothing would ever beat the “everything i create has to be great or nothing” in me#and i never am proud of what i made unless it’s supposedly only for my viewing#so i actually don’t know if what i just wrote make sense but yeah#my eyes feel so weird right now#also the ending was definitely up to interpretations!! (spoiler alert* just in case)#i myself personally like to believe he dreamed up the last 30 minutes of it and didn’t even go to the museum#and so he’ll just wake up definitely shocked but then still find leslie in her house who was just about to meet him so they could go!!#and because the rope was cut off by the lightning from last night they decide to build the bridge so everyone could cross safe and sound!!#i like my ending better they really should change it#but no all and all the end was really beautiful#even though it took me maybe even an hour to get through it because i keep sobbing and have to repeat over and over to hear what they said#yeah okay anyways sorry for the rant<3#i’m not sure what this is#but glad i could get it off my chest#let’s see how to tag how to tag#movies#just#childhood#whatever <3#nadirants
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it’s such a pet peeve of mine when a band or artist cover a song and they change the pronouns. what are you so scared of? just say the pronoun it cannot hurt you
#dani.txt#it’s such a minuscule thing but !!!#I like listening to covers because I like hearing the song I like with a different sound#but if you’re cutting off bridges or changing pronouns ???#songs are stories to me and I don’t like when people change the story#anyway that’s my rant for the day
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“I see a generation,
Rising up to take their place,
With selfless faith;
I see a near revival...”
Hosanna // Hillsong
#narnia#narnia edit#the chronicles of narnia#peter pevensie#susan pevensie#edmund pevensie#lucy pevensie#there was a cover of this song on a CD I bought at a thrift store#and I was reminded about it#but I got mad because they cut the second half of the bridge#that's right#they cut 'break my heart for what breaks yours'#a criminal offence
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Which Of the TOS Crew Are You?
Beta Ray Bill's Incredibly Wrong Result:
CHEKOV(?!)
I won't lie - you're kind of a bastard, but you're also a genius (no wonder you're the youngest member of the bridge crew!). Even if you mess up sometimes, you remain confident and daring. You're probably a master at trolling. Some may find you annoying, but they're probably just jealous of your stunning hair and nationality.
"... When this device asked my name, I said Beta Ray Bill, not Peter Parker."
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Tagged Demanded by: @mutiineer
Tagging: Nope, not gonna tag anyone for this one, I'm lying on the ground from the sheer wrongness.
#dash quizzes#mutiineer#muse: bill#{ DYING }#{ I am shook }#{ what in the name of Odin }#{ this is WRONG and it needs to know that it's WRONG }#{ yes I will now be peppering the tags with mun commentary like a choleric philistine }#{ there isn't a single bridge officer aboard Kirk's Enterprise LESS like Bill! }#{ bastard?! a bastard?! First off Chekov is charming and adorable and I'll have none of that libelous invective }#{ secondly Bill is beyond offended the notion the Last Son of Korbin is an unwanted child }#{ noble warrior - capable engineer - daredevil pilot... but NOT a genius }#{ Bill is the youngest aboard his ship because he's the ONLY CREWMEMBER }#{ messing up while being confident and daring is maybe the only thing Bill and Chekov have in common }#{ Bill doesn't even understand trolling most of the time! }#{ look at that majestic equine face and tell me this valiant Korbinite ANNOYS people! }#{ hair?! what hair?! }#{ legit this result would have been PERFECT for Spidey }#{ also the backhanded compliments toward Chekov feel even more cutting than the direct mockery }#{ was sarcasm also a Russian invention? }
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