#because i cut bridges
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natandacat · 5 months ago
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The notes are so funny bc here are the 'downsides of being an only child' that are literally not unique to being an only child and more of a parenting/situational thing really:
- "It's lonely!/Siblings are built-in friends!" One of my brothers played with me out of a sense of necessity because we were not allowed to be with other kids and he deeply resented me for that, which made for a bad relationship and me being extremely alone all the time anyway. I'd rather have skipped the hatred (on his part) and heart break (on mine) and gone directly to playing alone. I have literally never had an intimate conversation with any of my 3 brothers (except literally One time with one of them) but I've had countless of horrid fights (with me or witnessed). Hell is other people, etc.
- "All the attention is suffocating!" I was monitored 24/7 and pretty much never left alone, up to a point where my bathroom time was also monitored. My brother actively and voluntarily participated in the monitoring at some points.
- "You get unconditional support as an adult!" I've been in a lot of trouble since I was 17 and they've never helped, not materially or emotionally.
-"You have more people to build happy memories with!" My brother got married 3 days before I was back in the country (he set the date way after I had bought my plane tickets and also he actively chose to hide it from me) and still blames me for being upset because "it was a ceremony for closed loved ones only anyway" (I guess I wasn't counted!). That's just the most egregious examples in a long, long list.
I get grass is greener ect but what bothers me is that it reinforces the idea that sibling relationships are *always* a net positive, in a very "nuclear family is sacred" way
Like I'm not venting for the sake of it, I've been no contact for 4 years and it's great, I'm just frustrated that it's so goddamn hard to get people to acknowledge sibling abuse, or even get them to *not* perform shocked incredulity at the idea. Especially on tumblr, THE website where people talk about parental abuse all the time and understand that sometimes you really cannot salvage the relationship and it truly is detrimental
All I'm saying is stop assuming that things would be better with a sibling around. You don't know that! Believe me, things could be so much worse with a sibling around.
The good news is you get to choose your friends and siblings as an adult! :) Life can be sweet not matter who your nuclear family is! You're not a failure for not experiencing the hegemonic ideal of siblinghood! It's okay!
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 2 months ago
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Breaking Bread, and Spilling Soup [Bonus art]
[First] Prev <–-> Next
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littlesmartart · 2 years ago
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NO | MEGHAN TRAINOR
Jiang Cheng, our favourite asexual girlboss + his asexual girlboss anthem 💜
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zeb-z · 1 year ago
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“Red team was so selfish looking past the cursed team like that” listen man they were thinking about it often, and had evidence they were cursed too. They were convinced they were cursed too. Bad (with Pierre’s help I’ll be honest) singlehandedly destroyed any sort of civil relations and good faith between the two teams and this shot Blue in the foot when they tried to make the case about them being cursed last minute, about trying to rig it in the cursed teams favor.
There was never a cursed team in the first place, it was all a tactic to build paranoia and that feeling of betrayal and to get them to tear eachother a part. And it worked super well! At the end, neither would listen to the other about their evidence, not with an honest open ear, not with the willingness to think the other team could be cursed. It’s not a case of ‘Red just refused to listen because they wanted to win more than they cared’ they thought they were cursed too - if they were selfish, then so were Blue in the same way.
Every time Red had tried to talk first early on, it was met with extreme violence - and with Bad consistently proving he’ll play dirty to win, they didn’t trust Blue enough to listen to them in the later game. Maybe they should have listened then. Maybe Blue have listened earlier. The game worked as intended to set them against eachother.
#link is to another post I made back when they were debating about the cursed teams in purgatory and why red couldn’t trust blue and blue#couldn’t believe red. they were both stuck#and bless Tubbo he tried. he did try. but he was just as convinced he was right as Phil at the end. it was about convincing one another#more than it was about coming together and piecing together the evidence. yknow what I mean? they all cared about it but because of tension#and they also could not trust blue. which sucks because that’s hardly Tubbo’s fault but yknow#I dunno. it’s not simple like that. it’s not a case of red blowing it off being selfish not caring. they also thought they were cursed#AGAIN I’ll say it again bad burning bridges fucked a lot of them over for when diplomacy had to win because there could not be benefit of#the doubt or good faith or any sort of trust#it’s not just cut and dry red wanted to win more or blue wanted to win more. it was complicated and had way more factors#red thought they were cursed too!! they had solid evidence for this too!!#and like. again it’s a case of both parties kinda suck purgatory sucked it was always going to be like that because the game worked as#intended#idk. blue should have listened to red early on. red should have listened to blue later on. they were never going to do that on either side#idk from Tina’s pov it’s understandable why she said what she said. but knowing the others pov and what actually went down that’s not what#happened at all yknow?#they’re all gonna be feeling the effects of ‘we killed and betrayed eachother for two weeks’ for a while to come#mcyt#qsmp#qsmp purgatory#z speaks
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walkman-cat · 1 year ago
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newsies star trek au. you agree
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(WOE. BEARD RACE BE UPON YE)
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ichiblogging · 10 days ago
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Me 15 min after leaving home trying to go a new route
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wildstar25 · 11 months ago
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Arsay//Azem
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talesfromthecrypts · 2 months ago
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Absolutely unbothered
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sunforgrace · 2 years ago
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he sat there on the ground and cried. for cas. cas told him he loved him was taken away and he buried his head in his hands and wept
#AND THEN THEY TRIED TO PRETEND LIKE IT WAS FINE? and after the widower arc#it wasn’t even as nearly fucked then this time all their friends got thanos snapped and we don’t even get canon confirmation that they were#brought back. even with covid not even a vo or offhand mention or reference#jack is god and in every drop of rain or whatever.#sure yeah whatever they beat the final boss and got over the protagonist angst of it all but the world was still the same it just wasn’t a#chuck story which only ramped up to being The Big Problem in the season 14 finale.#cas was stabbed by an angel blade and dean broke while wrapping his body for the funeral pyre. ALONE. and was. not doing well#and you tell me it’s whatever after he sat there in that dungeon refused to answer sam’s calls and cried during the complete and total end#of the world. that he just bounced back from that and died and drove around heaven for decades in a few minutes and smiled while americana#electric guitar played on some bridge#cas helped oh that’s nice I guess smile now I have GOT to go drive my car around. because I did not get enough of that in my time on earth.#unlike my time with cas which I am satisfied with and in no need of closure. perhaps a conversation. looking upon him to see him alive and#well. healing some of that trauma of the last time I saw him. a reunion hug maybe even which has become tradition. CUT THE CAMERAS deadass#he’s going for the face touch. no this we cannot possibly have time for we have to play carry on wayward son twice#sorry. it has been three years. sorry. it’s just so funny buddy your ass did NOT escape the hamster wheel
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seaofreverie · 5 months ago
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Sometimes I think about those "full [band] discography but only when the title of the song is said" videos and how a Sparks one would be impossible to make
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probablygayattorneys · 1 year ago
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make me choose: 
klapollo or miego for the gifset thing :00
or just wrightworth if we're feeling wrightworth-y ✨
 (@cooliostarstache)
“The years have passed. The mystery has been solved... and our friendship has finally been restored. I'm happy."
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weirdchurchgirl · 4 months ago
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finally have internet for the first time since friday morning after being fortunate enough to manage evacuating appalachia... our beautiful mountains and communities are in ruins... was stuck in my house for days with no water and power they dont know when we'll have either back because we're in the sticks... im losing work because i had to leave town and i dont know what im going to do financially... im extremely lucky our home wasnt damaged but seeing the destruction of my community has certainly left an impact on me mentally that i still havent begun to process... things will never be the same after this... please keep appalachia in your thoughts
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small-spark-of-light · 1 year ago
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day 21 was to draw something only using black and white!! bonus lineart cause i Love how it looks
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my-current-obsession · 28 days ago
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So I've only played Baxter's step 4 (and 3) once so far so maybe I missed the options to lead me down the path I wanted, but for the first time in this game I felt pretty railroaded.
So for context, I did get romantically involved with him in step 3. Was okay breaking things off when he left because I understood a long-distance relationship wasn't feasible but I had hoped to stay in contact as friends and didn't appreciate him shutting that down. But I did respect his wishes and not even bother reaching out to him when it was clear he wanted to cut ties entirely. I chose the "for better or worse you don't really care anymore" option about how I felt when step 4 kicked in, because I'd like to believe I would be over any pain/anger from a brief fling from five years ago.
Of course, then you unexpectedly reunite and he proceeds to continue trying to freeze you out WHILE highkey reminiscing and wanting to relive all the good moments you shared, which is confusing and frustrating.
I was wanting to play things in a sort of "once bitten, twice shy" way. I was open to giving him another chance and wanted him in "my" life again, but only if HE was also willing to put in the effort. Beyond getting answers for his behavior and why things are the way they are, I actually DIDN'T want to be pushing to be part of his life. Not while he was still pushing me away. Why should I be making an effort and getting hurt repeatedly when ANY kind of relationship (not just a romantic one) takes work and dedication from BOTH sides?
But this is where the game absolutely failed to provide me the stance I wanted, which in turn make the entire resolution to the conflict not sit well with me. Once Baxter started opening up about WHY he cut ties and was continuing to be avoidant, I felt very "but thou must" about the choices. Again and again, 4-6 choices with slightly different tones/connotations that ultimately serve to reinforce how we want to help and be close to Baxter as opposed to any other more complicated or negative feelings towards him.
I understand that we're meant to like Baxter and I'm definitely not UNsympathetic to his severe self-worth issues and how that affected how he sees all relationships, but for the first time I feel like the story prioritized painting HIM in such a good light that it forgot to account for a protagonist that was anything other than 100% willing to continue loving and throwing themselves at someone that had ALREADY pushed them away and hurt them before and was CONTINUING to do so.
Why should "I" have to keep chasing relentlessly after someone who repeatedly rejects me? Why do I essentially have to keep bashing my head against this brick wall even when it's obviously bad for me?
What I desperately wanted but felt denied by was a confrontation that led to compromise. I wanted to be able to clearly express "my" hurt/anger and make it clear that while I cared about him, I WOULD NOT keep endlessly trying if he wasn't going to meet me halfway. I cannot single-handedly save the bridge that he is burning, he actually has to STOP burning it for us to get anywhere.
But no, it is only after you prove that you WILL keep trying and caring about him NO MATTER WHAT, no matter how much he continues to hurt and reject you, that he is able to overcome his issues and reciprocate. And really, what's doubly unsatisfying is... aren't we just validating his insecurities this way? It's literally by proving ourselves so stubborn and kind (to our own detriment) that he truly believes we'd never give up on him that he can trust and reach out in turn. Whereas if I had the option to make it clear HE has to work for this if he wants it, then he genuinely needs to face his problems and decides he cares about us more, that we are WORTH the risk.
A relationship takes two... but in this case I felt FORCED to do about 95% of the work in pursuing him AND playing therapist for him. It would have been much more satisfying if, after he rejects you one too many times, you CAN say "screw it" and give up on it just for him to finally turn around and be the one trying to chase YOU instead. I was frankly already pretty fed up with things, but by the ending when he avoided us AGAIN at the wedding (AFTER he'd opened up, more than once, and just generally made it clear that he DID care about you; truly this man is a master of the mixed message) I wanted DESPERATELY to just be able to say "fine, if you won't make an effort then I won't either" and leave it at that. If I was just allowed to express that dissatisfaction and hurt, then him coming around and trying to forge a true, long-lasting connection with us despite his uncertainty would have been so much better.
#our life beginnings & always#olba#conceptually i really like baxter as a character. and the framing of his step 4 was pretty neat#i did enjoy the way it continually referenced significant moments from step 3 to show how he genuinely cared about that summer (and us)#but i was frustrated that we basically had to give him endless and unconditional love before he decided we were worth trying to keep#because frankly i'm somewhere between a pessimist and realist. and my love IS conditional#i might not immediately and coldly cut ties like he could. but if you push me away and hurt me enough i WILL give up eventually#i'm not going to keep pouring my love into an endless abyss that gives nothing back. so i hate that the story basically MADE ME#honestly what baxter needs more than anything is a goddamn therapist. his issues hurt everyone around who wants to care about him#so if he truly wants to change then he needs professional help instead of leaving that kind of emotional labor to innocent bystanders#again i want to reiterate. i like him conceptually and as a character. and i kind of love how starkly he contrasts cove#since cove is very open about his (many but typically smaller) issues and is easy to comfort#whereas baxter is. well. a brick wall. he has one core problem that he is INCREDIBLY guarded about#and that problem unfortunately means he's damn near impossible to just communicate with and get through to#anyway as much as i do like baxter if this truly is as railroaded as it felt i probably won't play his step 4 again#i'm hoping if i go in more obviously hurt/upset from the start (i tried playing more neutral initially) that will get me somewhere#i definitely don't want to do anything to hurt the wedding planning. but i want him to meet me halfway#and if he CAN'T i'd genuinely prefer going our separate ways and letting that bridge stay burned than what i got my first run
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adxmanial · 6 months ago
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#having a time again#I fucking hate rsd#I hate just feeling the overwhelming urge to go scorched earth and abandon everyone and everything I’ve ever known#I thought I had it under control and it got triggered again recently#and it leaves me fucking exhausted and regretting all my life decisions in the end#hate fucking relapsing#hate being unable to read people’s minds#being built fucking Wrong#and having people hate me for reasons I’m not even Aware of because I can’t pick up on it and no one just fucking Talks#no one just Says when they’re bothered they let it fester and then it’s My fault#I didn’t Completely burn this bridge yet but god I am staring at it with a lighter and gasoline in hand#all that’s stopping me is that what I’m about to burn meant and still does mean a lot to me but#I can’t keep fucking doing this#it always ends like this#it never fucking changes and I don’t know why I bother I should stay in my little hole Alone where no one can hurt me#and I can’t accidentally hurt anyone else#idk man#having a fucking time#and maybe I shouldn’t even be Talking about it here#becuase who cares it’s social media#but if I don’t spill my guts Somewhere then I’ll fucking explode and cut ties with Everyone in my life at a trigger’s notice#and I need to pour this out somewhere Else#so I Don’t do something I know is Bad#in a moment of fucking rsd anxiety panic attack#lays down under my rock and dies#becomes a mushroom#if I’m a mushroom I’ll have no more problems#the mushroom hive mind will understand me and I will understand the mushroom hive mind
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lurkiestvoid · 2 months ago
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It's weird that on the "cops lie" website the DA fandom somehow thinks game studio executives ... don't
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