#this is scary how does one deal with this
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With the bat family daughter darling, did she already go to the same Gotham rich kid academy or did Bruce have her transfer there?
Referencing this post
Nope, her mom left Gotham before she was born traveled for work so she went with her so essentially she grew up around the world with maybe one or two homes in some place like New York or Singapore where they would stay for longer periods (1-3 months) when not traveling, with a tutor/governess teaching her. Like when her mother was originally engaged to Bruce he was more wealthy than her but she certainly has quite a bit of money to her name, like think Astrid Leong from Crazy Rich Asians, like the the first scene we see her in she buys earrings in Shanghai that cost 1.2 million (at cost), she has money.
Now I think Bruce would want her to attend a private academy, especially with Damian (despite the fact that she is terrified of him, it’s good sibling bonding). Now this could go one of two ways, she wants to go or she does not.
The first of two is if she might not be the best behaved and school would be her only way of socializing with other people her age, she is in a different class than Damian since he’d probably be older than her so he is not there to watch her every move throughout the day despite how much he would try to.
The other way is that she would not want to go to school there, like I mentioned earlier her and her mom had houses in New York and Singapore and while NYC isn’t too far away from Gotham, Singapore is and she has friends in both places and if she went to regular school it would be harder for her to see them when their own families were in town for business or if some good grace allowed it, being able to go back to see them.
Now the second option is very much less unlikely unless there is some serious good behavior from both of the darlings, mother and daughter. Bruce could certainly be convinced, especially after seeing his little girl’s wide smile when she finally gets to see her friends at the wedding of her parents.
Now her brothers certainly would not be happy, namely, and in order of how upset they would be, Damian, Dick, and Tim (Jason would not care enough that it would be a major issue for him).
Damian is very much that scary big brother that scares everyone away, there is no way he can look after her if she is with a bunch of people he’s never met besides maybe once or twice tops.
Dick is clingy, he doesn’t think his baby sister old enough to have friends outside of her family (ignoring the fact that she was raised by her mom and these are the kids she grew up with), he knows she doesn’t like his company much but to see her actually enjoy herself around people he does not know, it gets under his skin.
Then Tim, he has looked into everything about both of their darlings, he knows all about her friends, he knows those friends’ parents are friends of her mother, he knows of those parents and their sketchy business deals that come with most other socialite circles, and Tim certainly does not approve of them because children could turn into into their parents, he just doesn’t like the way it sits with him.
So while Mother!Darling tries to convince Bruce of allowing her to homeschool Daughter!Darling, the little girl is in the other room playing, pretending her old friends are with her.
#yandere dc x reader#yandere dc#yandere justice league x reader#yandere justice league#yandere bruce wayne#yandere bruce wayne x reader#yandere batman#yandere batman x reader#yandere batfam#platonic yandere batfam#platonic yandere#yandere batfamily#platonic yandere batfamily#platonic yandere dc#platonic yandere bruce wayne#yandere damian wayne#yandere dick grayson#yandere jason todd#yandere tim drake
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Before the Storm [AU drabble]
Summary: An AU where Tails is killed thanks to one of Eggman's plans going sideways, and Sonic goes off the deep end because of it. Shadow confronts him before he does something he'll regret.
Words: 891
TW: Major character death (implied)
Notes: wheeeee i dont think ive posted any sonic-related writing here before??? so this is um. scary. LOL. but i hope it's at least an interesting read <3 dont kill me im just a little guy ok
--
“What do you even think you're doing here, hedgehog?”
Sonic stopped in his tracks with a stomp when he was addressed. He didn’t turn to look at who had spoken; he knew instantly just from the voice.
“What’s it look like?” he responded. “I’m avenging Tails. That's all there is to it. If you have an issue, then feel free to let me know once I'm done.”
Behind him, about twenty or so feet away, stood Shadow. He stared coldly at the other hedgehog. “You know I’m not going to just stand aside and let you do this, right?”
“Yeah, I figured.” Sonic shook his head a little. “I don’t get why not, though.”
Shadow narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean by that?”
Sonic finally turned to face his rival, and when the two gazes met, Shadow could feel a chill slither up his spine. This…wasn’t Sonic. Not anymore.
“You lost someone important to you, right?”
Shadow’s ears perked. He wasn’t… Was he?
“She was taken from you, even. She didn't deserve it. She wasn't ready.” Sonic stared back at him, almost seeming to challenge him to deny it. “And neither were you.”
Shadow remained silent. He didn’t say a word, his expression unreadable. Sonic, figuring he’d caught him, just continued to speak. “So, I don’t get how you’re not on my side. You know what this situation is like. You lived it. You even tried to destroy the world because of it.” He waved his hand a little. “So why shouldn’t–”
“Let me tell you something.”
Sonic paused once he was interrupted. Across the way, Shadow’s expression suddenly became a bit more clear. He was angry. More than that, really–he was seething.
“The difference between our situations is that while, yes, I did act out of anger and grief and aimed to destroy the world with it, I did it because I thought that’s what she would have wanted.” He let that statement sink in for just a moment before he continued. “I’ve since come to realize that this wasn’t the case at all.”
Sonic’s ears folded back the longer the other went on, but Shadow didn’t let up. In fact, he began to step forward as he spoke.
“You’re right. I do know what it’s like to lose someone dear to me. I do know what it’s like to have someone who could light up the room with their presence alone, have their light be extinguished prematurely. And I do know what it’s like to want to end everything and everyone because of that loss.” He stopped approaching once he was only a couple feet away. “But, do you know the difference between you and me, Sonic? The true difference between our situations?”
He didn’t allow Sonic to respond even if he had wanted to. Instead, Shadow leaned in a little closer, his voice dripping with venom as he nearly spoke through his teeth. “I was able to get it through my head that that wasn’t what she wanted. I was able to pull myself together and not let myself succumb to my own misguided idea of how I was supposed to deal with my loss and grief.” He narrowed his eyes, then. “I was able to accept that causing others to suffer in her stead would not bring her back. Nothing would. And you haven’t accepted any of that.”
Something in Sonic’s chest twisted into a tight knot. His nose scrunched up into a slight snarl as he glared back at Shadow, fists clenched at his sides.
“You’re wrong,” Sonic spat back finally. “You really don’t get it after all. You gave up. You could have gotten them back for what they did to her, but you didn’t. You let them get away with it.”
The icy look in his eyes told Shadow that his words had gone in one ear and right out the other. He wasn’t going to get through to him.
“So, I guess we are different, yeah. You chose to let Maria’s killers off the hook.” Sonic took a couple steps back. “I’m not making that same mistake.”
Shadow watched him for a few moments, trying to find some sort of sign that this was salvageable. He didn’t want to take drastic measures to stop a disaster from happening…but, this was Sonic. Drastic measures were par for the course when he was involved.
With a resigned sigh, Shadow began to back away as well. He had no intention of leaving, though. Now, he had a mission. “I see.”
Reaching up, he gently grasped the inhibitor ring on his wrist. He didn’t unclasp it–not yet. He was going to give Sonic one last chance to walk away from this. He could see Sonic’s eyes shift to look at the inhibitors before meeting his gaze once again, and he could tell just by that look that he still wasn’t going to back down. So…he supposed that was that.
“There is one thing about you that hasn’t changed, at least,” he noted, finally clicking off the inhibitor. He knew this would be an uphill battle despite the course of action he was going to take.
“You still don’t know when to quit.”
#fanfic#sonic fanfic#sth fanfic#sth#i have fear in my heart bc ive never posted my sonic writing here before lol. not in fic form at least#anyway erm. hands this to u and then runs away very very fast
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https://www.tumblr.com/prettypinkporkchop/766630253199245312/rules?source=share
Read the first one!!!
Rules pt 2
SOME SMUT AHEAD
You stare off into space, thinking about everything. How you know everything now. You're not ready for any of this. This is a crazy life to live. You're still Susie's babysitter, but you've put rules on yourself.
Rules:
Don't get attached
Refuse all invitations he gives
You still haven't let Paul pay you for watching Susie. Your heart is too big. You want to help them as much as you can. Susie deserves an older woman to look up to. She does have it with Sue, Kim, and Emily, but they're busy people. More busy than you are.
"Y/n? Hellloooo."
You jump out of your daze and turn to Sue. She is waving a piece of paper in your face and then places it in front of you. "This needs to be copied for patient in room b." She goes to walk away but stops. "Honey, are you okay?" She asks.
"Yes, ma'am. I'm just.." You put the paper in the copy machine next to you.
"Overwhelmed. I get it. My kids are shifters. That's a lot to handle. But being an imprint is scary at first." She smiles. "But don't worry. You will get used to it. And no matter what, you're safe." She walks away.
You sigh and close your eyes. Your rules must be followed.
-----
"I have to go camp out. I may end up in Canada. This vampire is fucking tricky." Paul chuckles, zipping up his bag that's on his bed.
You cross your arms and lean on his doorframe. "Okay, be safe." You say quietly.
Paul has noticed your distance. He figured he scared you off. But he's been around imprints and seen their relationships. He knows you'll come around.
"Aight. Will do. Take care of my girl for me." He lifts his bag and then steps closer to you. He hovers over you.
You keep your head down. You try to ignore it. "I.. I've got her." Your cheeks redden.
He nods his head and walks past you to say bye to Susie.
You stand there in your same spot, thinking to just let it go. You're afraid of the world you live in now that you know.
Susie runs over to you and pulls your hand. "Come on! I want to show you the new doll dad bought me!"
----
You lay on the couch, tossing and turning. The couch is so uncomfortable. You've tried grabbing pillows and stacking them to get some support. It's not working. You sigh and groan, putting your hand on your forehead. You don't want to sleep in Paul's bed. But you have to take Susie to school and also go to work. You check the time on your phone. Fuck. Five hours of sleep is all you have left. You suck it up and loft up the pillows, walking to Paul's bed. You get comfortable and attempt to ignore his scent. The scent you very much love.
It felt like you just blinked, and your alarm goes off. You're extremely tired. You get out of bed and go into Susie's room. She's already sitting up, rubbing her eyes, and Yawning.
"Good morning, my Susie sue." You say softly.
"Good morning, y/n." She smiles.
You both get ready, and you give her a breakfast. You get her buckled in the car and take her to school. Then, you go to work.
It's like this for the next three days.
----
You took Susie to Emily's, and now you're packing to go back home. The door opens, and Paul walks inside. He wraps his arms around you from behind.
The sensation is a shock. He's warm and strong. You're in ecstasy with his touch. But you can't give in. You grab his wrist and take it off of you.
"Hey." You say.
He sighs and sits on the couch. "Hey."
"Did you catch the leech?" You smile. But then you lose the expression, realizing you're already speaking the supernatural lingo.
"We sure did. The Cullens had to step in because there were more we didn't know about."
You zip up your bag and look at him. "Good deal." You lift up your things and walk to the door.
"You can't run away from it." Paul says behind you.
You stop and then turn to look at him. "Give me time."
"I've got all the time I need." He smirks.
"Yes, sir." You leave his house.
----
"Ouch!" You bring your arm down from the shelf. You're struggling to grab that box on the very top. You have to pull it down because it has Christmas decorations for Emily. She has called you and a few others over to help out.
"Gee, you've got help. Don't hurt yourself." You feel a hand touch your shoulder. It's Embry. He uses one hand to grab the heavy box and pulls it down. "Ya know, you have a soulmate who could always help you in times of need." He jokes.
"Very funny." You say bluntly.
"You can't be afraid of nothing. At this point, you blame the world we are in, but I believe you're just scared of love." Jared chimes in.
"Susie really likes you. I think you're a good addition to them." Emily smiles.
"Can we talk about something else?" You laugh it off.
"Hey, hey, hey!" You look at the door and see Billy come in.
"Billy Black." Jared says, shaking his hand.
The other guys follow along. You walk over to him and give him a side hug. Now everyone, BUT Sam, Paul, Leah, Seth, and Jacob are here. They are out doing some wolf shit.
----
Susie begged you to come over and play games with her and Paul. You are a sucker for this child. Anything for that sweet girl! So, here you are. You are sitting with the two in the middle of the living room floor, playing a board game.
"I stole your point!" Susie laughs at her dad.
"Hey!'' He laughs. He turns to you. "Your turn."
You pick up the dice and roll them. You move on the board and got placed in a spot where Susie and Paul can get you out.
They both cheer, and Paul smiles down at Susie, giving her a fist bump.
You smile at them. Then, your heart just melts. You could be Susie's mother. You could be with Paul. It would be a beautiful family. ... wait, what are you saying? No. No.
Paul catches you staring at him. He watches you.
"Can y/n be my mom?" Susie asks.
You turn to look at her. Her eyes are beaming at you. She's so little and precious. She deserves a mother. You do want to be. You do. Say yes.
"I think we should finish this game." Paul smiles down at her.
You breathe out and then feel guilty. You're scared. Why? You can't stop thinking of that night on the couch. You miss him. You're craving him. You're already breaking your rules. You're so close to cracking.
----
You're sitting in your bathtub. You've done so much thinking. You realize staying away from him is hurting you more. It's making you feel worse.
"That's it." You whisper to yourself. You get out of the tub and get dressed.
You make your way to Paul's house. You know Susie is with Claire. This is the perfect time.
You step to the door and knock. It opens quickly. This is what you see.
"Y/n?" He asks.
You gasp and then breathe out. You grab his face and kiss him. He kisses you back and pulls you inside, shutting the door behind you. He doesn't break the kiss, moving his lips with yours, playing with your tongue. He walks backward into his room.
He leaves your mouth for a second to toss you onto the bed. He crawls on you, and you grip onto his hair, kissing him like there's no tomorrow. You're hungry for him. He's so hungry for you.
He pulls away to take off your shirt. Your bra is exposed to him. He looks over you and bites his lip. You're drawn to his chest and abs. Your hand touches his stomach. He bends back down and kisses your neck. He bites your skin. You gasp and moan.
"I want you, Paul." You whine.
He hums against your neck. His hand pulls down your shorts and then rubs you through your panties. He can feel you get wet.
"Does this mean?" He looks down into your eyes.
You smile and nod your head.
In response, he pulls your panties down and rubs in between your folds. You moan and throw your head back.
He removes his hand and reaches behind you, taking off your bra. He moves back to pull off his sweat pants while you throw your bra aside. You look at him and stare at his erection. You remember how big it felt against you that night. The feeling definitely didn't deceive you.
----
"Beautiful." Paul whispers in your ear and shakes your shoulder.
You groan and slowly wake up. You take in what happened last night. You realize you're still naked. You roll over and look at Paul. "Good morning, hottie." You smile and gently touch his cheek.
He smiles and grabs your wrist, turning his head to gently kiss your palm. "Good morning." His morning voice fills your ears.
"Morning sex?" You giggle and roll on top of him.
He chuckles and rests his hands on your back. "I'd totally be down. In fact, I really want to, but Sam is on the way to drop off Susie." He pecks your lips.
"Okay, okay." You roll off of him and bend down, picking up your clothes and putting them on. "Do we tell Susie?" You ask.
He gets up and gets dressed, too. "Yes. She'll be the happiest Susie I've ever seen." He chuckles.
He finishes putting on his clothes and so do you. He walks over and kisses your forehead. "I'm taking you out tonight." He grabs your chin and kisses your lips.
Your heart pounds, and you kiss him back. You broke the rules. FUCK THE RULES.
----
Susie dips her spoon in the bowl of cereal and keeps her eyes on the TV from the floor. Bluey is on the screen. You and Paul are sitting on the couch. His hand grabs onto yours. He gives your knuckles a gentle kiss.
You look at him with a smile. You nod your head at him.
"Susie, we have something to tell you." Paul smiles.
She keeps her face toward the TV. "Uh huh?"
"Look at dad, babe. Come sit here." He let's go of your hand and pats in the middle of you two.
She turns around and sits on the couch. She looks at Paul, her full attention on him.
"Me and y/n are together, now. How do you feel about that?" He smiles.
She screams and jumps on you. You grab onto her and laugh as her arms hold you tightly.
"Are you my momma?!" She asks.
You eye Paul, and he's just-a smiling.
"Yes, baby."
----
You finish hanging up your clothes in the closet. The closet you now share with Paul. Your life is in a new chapter and you are more than happy to see what it has in store for you.
"My love, don't forget there's a bonfire!" Paul calls out from the kitchen.
"Okay!" You reply.
Life is good. Life is easy. The biggest thing you've learned is that you don't have to follow every rule.
#embry call#twilight#jared cameron#jacob black#sam uley#paul lahote#twilight wolfpack#seth clearwater#leah clearwater#quil ateara#paul lahote x reader
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so you're telling me not only does this parody of a game doubled it (the systematic racism elves experience throughout across the entirety of thedas which they didn't show one fucking jot of lest they had to remember that dragon age isn't an intermarriage of marvel writing steven universe morality tiktok therapy and gender PSAs for straight people and that tevinter imperium goes beyond alienages and mirroring antiroma sentiment in attitudes towards the dalish with how they treat the elves and put slay in slavery) and gave it to the next person (qunari who are almost solely represented by the dehumanised faceless renegade barbarian colonisers who speak in monstrous unnatural voices and wear fuck knows what and skull masks and all they do is oppress and wreak havoc because If You Didn't Know They're Bad And Scary And Not Human Actually), not only does the narrative of this ridiculement of lore that they went out of their fucking way to make revolve around that FUCKASS egg cunt makes the only character who's not antaam and still follows the qunari tradition if not the qun itself an abusive dismissive and dissatisfied incompetent mother trope for like 95% of the time you spend with that character and tries to frame her as a transphobic tradwife who bestows the gift of internal misogyny upon her child and who only remembers that the qun is strict about social roles but not specifically gender ones and that transgender people are accepted and accommodated as long as they transition in terms of their responsibilities under the sun as well AFTER her gender-nonconforming child whom she's been somefuckinghow displeased with for not presenting and behaving like what she thinks a woman should be and do for quite some time tells her they're non-binary (without the narrative ever addressing taash's confirmed!!! internalised misogyny and dealing with it first because if you do that you're transphobic actually and it magically goes away if you transition in case you were wondering and using that EXACT modern terminology no less, why the fuck does my non-binary rook talks about their gender and their experience like you would expect someone from a setting like this and taash just goes "so i'm non-binary"?), not only does this absolute shitshow only redeems shathann through sacrifice and death because this is the only way a mother can be forgiven apparently, but also makes you force the character with a mixed cultural background to choose one and forsake the other because trick fucking weekes cannot begin to fathom the concept of mixed people and diaspora is not once but fucking TWICE EVEN if you chose to tell them that being mixed (culturally in taash's case since they're rivaini through having been raised there but not in terms of origin but the sentiment clearly extends to mixed people) is good and whoever tells them what they should be can fuck right off?????????? i hate this fucking game so much it hurts
#killing myself because mixed people and diaspora don't exist and can't exist according to veilguard#if you think i'm gonna tell taash to reject their qunari side you're tripping#nice trick making you feel like you can avoid pushing taash to reject a part of their heritage if you romance them#one could go on about what's wrong with taash's entire character and arc for fucking days and for months if we're talking about the game#but this particular moment enraged me even more than what's been revealed in the egg's regrets#trick weekes count your fucking days i will massacre your entire fucking bloodline#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#dav#datv#dav spoilers#datv spoilers#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#dragon age veilgaurd spoilers
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i think I'm starting become vi and I've come across this realization in the shower
#yk how vi is with baizhu?#yeah.#ermm ajax is the only fictional guy ive ever had consistent dreams about ..??#and like i see him and smile#like he IS a comfort character and i love him he gets me all warm n fuzzy#but#i think this is more than just an affection 😦#nono i think im ATTACHED#holy shit#like#baivi. type of attached#i think its why i get sooo pressed when i see someone mischaracterize him and proceed to hate him#it can be in the SMALLEST way#this is actually kinda scary given how i feel ab romance 😞#i dont talk about him a lot on main but fuck i know i love him#IM TALKING ABOUT HIM LIKE I JS GOT A GIRLFRIEND OR SMT PIPE DOWN#this is horrifying.#i need to go on vis like#selfship account or whatever#and take notes#this is scary how does one deal with this#ok i might be being dramatic#(terrified why do i feel like thissdeduhh)#💙 my knight 💙
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I LOVE QUEEN SOO MUCH I THINK THEYRE JUST SO SO NEAT AND SILLY... the best thing about a cute character is that u get to draw them all scared and bloody and crying and shaking and upset and you can also put a spider on them
#I GOT A WHOOOLE DOODLY PAGE FULLA QUEEN BC I LOVE HIM N THINK HES CUTE..... ESPPECIALLY WHEN HES SCARED AND AFRAID#LALALAAAA SUCHA FUNNY BUNNYY ALL THEY KNOW HOW TO DO IS SING UNFINISHED SONG. PLAY BIG FLUTE.AND WHIMPER N CRY#HEHEHE i think its fine that they dragged this poor soul into the black sea w them bc i too would subject him to endless nightmares.for fun#IM ALSO SO HONESTLY INTRIGUIDED BY THEIR BACKSTORY.....LIKE WAts her deal how does she know abt that one bitch#the one that was working w the scary spider lady guuhh tis been so loongg i FORGOTTT..so did queen tho so. well.#THEY WERE SO SCARED WHEN THEY RECOGNIZED THE MELODY. WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT TRAUMA IS LINKED TO THIS TUNE?he kept the mask#HE WAS SCARED THAT HE HAD DONE SOMETHING TERRIBLE AND DOESNT REMEMBER. WHAT DID YOU DO BUNNY?WHAT DID YOU DO.#WHAT DOES HE KKNNOOOWWW GRAAGGHGHHG I WANNA BREAK HER HEAD OPEN AGAINAST A SLAB O CONCRETE (LOVINGLY OFC)#LET ME SEEEEE LEMME SEE WHATS INSIIIDE WHO CURSED YOU? WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT DID YOU SEE? WHAT DID YOU DO? WHHAT HAVE YOU DDONNNEEE!!!!
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...
#i never really thought about a person being a finite thing. you can see the effects of a person after they die. in the unfinished projects.#in the rooms of clutter. in abandoned closets. in pictures and in mermered phrases. and you can see time#chipping away at those things. eroding away the evidance that a person existed. clothes move into other people's closets. projects are boxed#away. and a person becomes confined to photos and memories. and thats existentially terrifying but its not a bad thing. time erodes away all#things. that's how life works. matter and energy transforms.#we arent made to last forever. i dunno. i guess im still just rattled from being home even tho ive been back a week and a half.#and my brain tends to fixate on the wrong things. nearly 27 years of knowing someone eclipsed by a visual sequence lasting less than a day.#bc i just cant get over how scary it would be to die like that. to start losing control of your body. to not be able to feed yourself or get#to the bathroom. to have your mind be overcome by the toxins building up in your mangled and broken body.#and it could have been worse. it could have been a lot worse. but its still not fair. theres no good way to die. i dunno. i guess i just#miss my mom in some abstract way but i find it more viscerally upsetting to think about the people that have to deal with her absence.#it makes me sad that my dad is alone now. i dunno. grief doesnt feel like i thought it would. most of the time i dont even know what im#crying about. its undirected. it doesnt feel like: i miss you. it feels like: youre gone. how can you be gone? why does everything feel the#same? and its not that it doesnt make sense. its that nothings changed. the terror of that.#and im walking around in an acumulation of my dead mother's clothes. and no one knows. theyll never know.#and there's nothing to be done about it. so it goes.#i guess im just sad. and its hard to breathe at the thought of returning to school at the end of August.#unrelated
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A redraw of The Scene from Amok Time and some further elaboration on my hc for Spock eyes… catman………..
#my art#described#star trek: tos#spock#s'chn t'gai spock#was giggling and kicking my feet at that scene. HE SMILEDDDDDD HE SMILED HE WAS SO HAPPYYYYYYYY#further hc that Jim doesn’t know spock has slit pupils cus he’s only ever seen his pupils blown out. when spock looks at him it’s always-#-with deep affection even if he doesn’t realize#someone mentions Spock’s eyes being ‘scary’ one day and Jim just. ‘whaaaaatttt no they’re big and beautiful!!!!! what r u talking about’#idk I like adding things to spock/vulcans that could otherwise betray emotion and thinking on how those would be reckoned with on Vulcan#like ears potentially wiggling - some Vulcans end up cropping their ears to avoid this if it’s egregious enough. same with tails and wagging#eyes are tougher but I’m thinking along the lines of like. maybe some folks wear darker contacts just so their pupils aren’t noticeable.#it’s just interesting to me to think about!! how does a species that prides itself on being unemotional deal with emotional tells etc etc
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hi friends im all for soft ais but STOP BABYING THAT MAN. HE LOVES STARTING SHIT. HE'S NOT EVIL BUT HE'S NOT A SAINT WHO'S EVERY BAD ACTION IS OCUDEUS' DOING. OHHHH MY GOD JUST BECAUSE HE'S HONEST AND DOESN'T IMMEDIATELY WANT TO KILL OR TAKE ADVANTAGE OF MC THAT DOESN'T MAKE HIM A GOOD MAN. GET OUTTA HERE WITH THAT "it's ocudeus taking over him!!" BULLSHIT IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE A FLAWED CHARACTER
#i'm all for ocudeus taking over ais' body too#it's scary how it can just take away his agency whenever it wants but#ais does and WILL do some awful shit BY HIMSELF stop pinning everything on ocudeus good god#you make a deal with one awful guy and suddenly every bad thing he does is your fault smh
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still losing my mind at the way houses relationship with john would have fucked up the way he sees being an omega. just,,, teen house, young and confused, experiencing these absoloutely brutal heats. not understanding why they are so bad and hard when theyre supposed to be a time where an omega feels good. already feeling broken and wrong, and then having to face john's anger and disappointment over him being an omega
like i can only imagine how it would affect him in heat, a time where he would be less able to think coherently. and constantly remembering how traumatic and horrible his heats as a teen were, the memory making him feel bad and in turn making him feel physically worse. just like,,, a constant feedback loop of remembering and feeling bad -> feeling physically worse in turn -> reminding himself even more of his childhood and feeling worse
i feel like after having to deal with his first few heats without a strong family net to acclimate to the changes, once house is outta there and doing his own thing he tries to never deal with his heats alone. he marks his cycle religiously, makes deals with alphas in med school to help him through them, or even finds street suppressants if he's especially desperate.
man. you just know john has put him outside for some of his heats, too. nothing to nest with, no scent blocking patches, just left him in the yard like a sacrificial lamb. it goes without saying how dangerous that is.
hell, once he's employed i wouldn't be surprised if he stole something from the hospital to bring home in case a heat comes up that he can't deal with, something that'll knock him out for the worst of it.
#asks#certified-moth#house md#writing a fic that is basically just heat whump for a lot of it as i type this#house's heats are bad always it's just how it is for him#but once he has the infarction it's even worse#his leg becomes another focal point for pain to localize to and the scar is so severe that when he's in heat#it runs scary hot. like where the muscle is missing sits just a molten core of pure agony#fainting spells and delirium become new side effects as a result#it is a pathetic miserable sight and he WANTS to be alone so no one can see him like that#but dealing with them alone is torture so he just doesn't win. it fucks with his issues of self#something else to resent about his body#he and wilson develop a fairly solid unofficial........ thing early on in their friendship#it would have taken wilson more convincing had he not witnessed the effects himself and got his caretaker heart twanging#even when he's married. which doesn't necessarily mean he's cheating but uh. it doesn't help in his case#all of it compounds into a very big mess that does not help the success rates of his marriages#goes to show how much more time wilson spends with house than his wives when he's more synced with house than them#now THAT is an offense. THAT'S what can get feelings hurt#it makes him feel bad but he tries to reassure himself by comparing their heats to house's. they don't understand how bad it is#<- probably the cause of several arguments#wilson trying to get bonnie or julie to understand why he Needs to do this and bristling when they Just Don't Get It#“house didn't break up our marriage but he sure didn't help” etc#mgv
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I feel insane. Listening to some people talk about struggling with balanced consistent eating and out of every point they make to why it's a struggle they keep circling back to its so expensive. I feel like. Can people hear themselves. Does anyone hear how insane that sounds. Food is hard because it's so expensive. Food. That thing you need to. You know. Survive. To live . The most basic. Food is so expensive nowadays it's so hard to eat enough. HELLO? THAT'S INSANE
#tide of consciousness#The number one reason for why someone might struggle with eating enough should not be MONEY#THIS FEELS LIKE. DO WE REALLY LIVE IN THIS WORLD#I CAN'T HANDLE THINKING ABOUT THIS I'M GOING TO FALL APART#Everytime I think about how the most necessary tools to just be able to live are the most expensive ones I just#I can't#I can't handle that. God its horrific#The idea that someone out there went here's a thing a large majority of the population needs to literally survive#That means they HAVE to pay me this price for it! Huzzah! Instant money cheat! I HATE YOU#I can't think about glasses I can't think about phones I can't think about insulin or any medication#I can't think about it. Every little thing that people depend on to accomplish anything that costs hundreds to thousands of dollars#Its so scary#The environment this creates makes therapy a near requirement to get through things at times#Paywall that too.#Like how does anyone deal with feeling like every system exists only to push as much money out of me as possible#You have to make money to buy the things you need so you work 12 hours a day to make the money to pay for these things#Like you can't. You can't have a life anymore you just have to work for the most basic necessities and you're left with no time no money#No life at all. Everyone exists just to create product and keep the economy moving#I can't think about this. I can't handle it I can't fathom it I can't I can't I can't
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literally what do you MEAN the coyote got run over offscreen and the roadrunner is alone and left unchased!!!!!!!!!!
#mumbling to myself death is random and meaningless death is random and meaningless the world is disrupted quietly no one knows what to do#the story cannot progress there is a story beneath the story. There is no one to tell it what to do#everything is unfinished and empty a life that never got to be fully written except it did but how could that be it???#and then it does a little dance!!!!!!!#WES ANDERSON IM GONNA KILL U WITH A MAUL WHAT THE HELL#this is the saddest movie ever made guys im crying voer a roadrunner#im not doing it right!#everyone is dealing with loss they're all alone and they have to perform their roles and they cant and they dont know how or why#this is a love story this is a death story this is a story story#GOT RUN OVER. OFFSCREEN. LIKE. THE PLAYWRIGHT?#the playwright who gets run over offscreen?????????#he predicts his own death a hudnred times over. The. the#how am i supposed to wait for saturday i need to see it again neowwwww#haunted ghost movie!!!! but haunted in a calm and slightly hopeful way#death isn't scary the alien isn't scary. he's just there. he's gonna take something from you and you're gonna feel like#the world is upside down and on fire and scary and you're not gonna know what to say. but it wasnt personal. It didnt mean anything really.
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i hope i die, you broke my heart
#personal#so fucking tired oh my god#just yelled at my sister so loud that my throat is sore over a piece of fuciing plastic#sometimes ecerytbinf feels so bad and its like. what do i even do#like ok i relapse and i need a break from someone and they loose their fucking shit on me#taljing about how you always deal with my shit and youre tired of how i see you as the worst in the group#as if i didnt literally repeat to you over and over again that i love you and that i always will even when you kept denying it#all of the times youve left all the servers and the gc and all that and i was there to comfort you#theres a reason im always the person you go to#byt yeah . im neverrrr there for you#like is it just that im not there for you in the Same Way that youre there forme ??#does it need to be completely equal to be fair#and idk. i know hes struggling too but its so fucking stupid because ive been struggling for months and i dont treat u like tjat#im tired of feeling like i have to do two times more than everyone else ro be worthy of their love#like sorry man but im fucking sick and tired#i know ill be fine without you but like youre so sick right now that i dont know what youll do without all of us#idk im just like. you used to be so kind but now youre writing your name in mu blood#and sometimes i feel bad because i didnt mean evedytbinf i said to you but lets be honest#you didnt mean everyrbinf you said either#and i dont know if you were ever the right person because a lot of the time i think we are just two chemicals that werent meant to mix#but ill always remember you when i hear that one song and im making it sound like this is some kind if goodbye but it Really isnt#but like there was a time when i would tear myself apart for you. mot even because i liked you that much#i guess i just wanted someone that liked me as much as you did???#and when j say that it isnt even about one soecific oerson. its an amalgamation of ecery person tgat has ever loved me#a little more than they were supposed to#i think i hate ahen people love me Too Much because i dont want to be adored like that it scares me#iknow what thats like and i dont want to be someone fp Its so scary#okay if im being honest i dont know whbat the fuck im saying right mow#byt like. idk. im tired and i think im done. tbh#💭
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as happy as i am for lissie and marcus (even though I knew they were already together because I literally watched them make out with my own two eyes) it was honestly my last straw. I’m so tired of seeing everybody on my social feeds happy and in relationships when I’ve just had the worst week of my life and have basically given up on falling in love because if I can’t even drive how am I going to go to places where I’ll meet people?!?!? i have spent every Valentine’s Day alone while my friends go on elaborate dates and I’m just so so tired
not the make out sesh 😩 oh to see them with my own two eyes irl... what a pretty sight it would be
this got quite personal and hit a little too close to home so im putting a lil keep reading thing
love :(( i’m truly sorry you feel this way... but god i felt this ask so much... first of all, i'm really sorry about you having a bad week. it's completely fine to feel the way you're feeling, it must really suck, but i'm sure you'll get the license and you'll be driving shortly!! i am keeping my fingers crossed for you ❤️
i’ve always been very calm about relationships and love, very much “i’m not in a rush” and “it’ll come when it’s time”. i’ve always been a hopeless romantic but i haven’t been stressed about it – i’ve always been so busy that i haven’t really had time for love, and i've been okay with hearing about friends and their great love lives while i've spent pretty much every weekend and holiday alone at home. but… eventually, it becomes exhausting, you know? when falling in love for real just seems so far away and like something so hard to achieve in some way....
i also kind of feel you on the driving part... i decided not to get my license for a bunch of reasons, and idk how i'll get around without driving... but also as i am still living with my parents, it just seems impossible to meet someone, because where would i bring them? home to meet my snooping parents?? no way
i think we just gotta hold on to the hope that when it is the right time, it will happen. i don't believe in the whole "don't rush it" thing, i think that we're all allowed to seek and chase love if we want to, but i also think it's okay to take a step back and just breathe and be okay with the situation. unfortunately, our current day society is so formed around relationships, soft launches and hard launches and dinner date pics on insta and public proposal videos, that i feel like the pressure easily gets overwhelming. there's also something in the way that people think other people's love lives is any of their business, like friends and relatives asking me why i don't have a boyfriend, as if a partner is something i need to live my life? surely it would make it better, but i don't need to be reminded and hurt yet again over the fact that i'm alone, when i'm just trying to move on in life...
i'm trying to stay patient, open to any opportunity, and remembering that social media is merely a highlight reel and not reality. i hope you too can find peace in remembering that things will get better, we just have to work through this first. we will get through it and come out stronger on the other side. darling, if you ever need something from me, want to rant, or anything else, know that my messages and inbox are always open 💗
#ive really liked seeing drivers and their partners recently#but i think that in some way it's just like a coping mechanism to cope with the fact that im so very alone#i think it originates in the wish of being one of them even though i do feel very realistic and dont actually believe that it could happen#but i mean honestly#if we werent even the tiniest bit delusional#would we be here writing and reading the self insert fics??#like sure i dont do it just for that reason#i love writing and i love fiction no matter what kind and blah blah#but we could've all been reading random scifi or romance fics instead and yet so many people get stuck on celebs x reader#housing is really expensive in my city so not a lot of people move out early (like pretty much none of my friends have moved out)#and i just dont get how they manage to have partners and still live at home? are their parents not crazy like mine??#i am supposed to be moving out soon though but rn idk how that would change my situation#still have to deal with social anxiety and shit#this ask hurt so much#ive been hitting a pretty rough patch recently aswell and im kind of thinking that i need to break down fully to be able to build myself up#but its so goddamn scary#idk why im oversharing and ranting so much shfkdjf i apologize#i really hope you find happiness and a great love#i truly admire you for working through this despite how hard it all is#why does it all have to be so exhausting?#asks!
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I'm going to struggle to sleep and get up tomorrow
Curse it all
#miranda talking shit#At one hand i liked the conversation i had with fabian and i think i got some answers to questions ive been wondering about but im also lik#Unpacking all this.... So much to unpacking and to be put in a folder in my head where does it all go... Still hate how#He hit me with the biggest ... Maybe in the universe and i can't deal with it. No I'd be relieved and accept an no fullstop but he had to#Add in the.... Idk actually lol i dont have a reference and i would like to know how it is crossing boundaries in our relationship#Whag the fuck man.... You really gave me the strongest 'i think youre into me and it worries me' and then nullify it with an 'idk how i#Feel sometimes id like to explore more' how am i supposed to... Handle that information... I had been going around telling myself#What he said to me 2019 is the way he still feels and me thinking he might think more is just me being paranoid but then yeah#What a clusterfuck. I mean to me it wont change anything in the broader picture no matter what i care for him ya know? But now thats... An#Whole other thing like. Should i try to act differently? Be more careful? Or would that be unfair bc then id do what he've been doing to me#I will quote him again 'miranda i think if both of us got an gf/bf at the same time this would solve itself' i joked and said he could find#Me one and I'll find one for him. But yeah i think that would ... Be a solution in an ideal world. Idk how to do anything man#At one hand i think he's overestimating how much he's on my mind but also its true. I spend a lot of my social time with him so obviously#I think about him? But i also have a reference on how i am... With people i have crushes on and who im in love with and how o think of thoe#Its just so scary to think about how i am his reference ... To... Well basically a ton of things... Im not a good reference unless you want#An abnormal reference. I guess im anxious I'll somehow ... Ruin him or something. This was a big conformation that i am his reference to#Women and close relationships with women and i am not made for that... Most feminine tjing about me is being sappy and giving compliments#And encouragement. Otherwise im basically like ... A dude. Guess it also scares me that he knows me. I know i know him but the fact its#Mutual is aw man... Being known is still a struggle. He wasmt completely wrong is his logic bc he knows me i think too much about people#And things. I understand im so anxious bc i care about him and im worried about losing him or pushinh him away but shit#Hes sleeping rn and is at peace with this probably. He doesn't dwell on it. He even said hes been thinking about this... Bc he began to#Think about what i could be thinking? So its not even his own thoughts but thoughts about whaf i could be thinking? ?? Whack and im likebro#Flattering that you go to that length but also... Literally what??? Cant tell if hes somehow projecting or if this is genuinely how he was#Thinking but damn. Boy does have some confidence at least? He's such an fool. I love him but holy shit he blows me away sometimes
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girls when they are trying their best but their best isnt good enough 😔😔
#sagittarius.txt#negative#stopped gaming and the horrors have returned#im just so fuciing pissed off. at the circumstances. in general#bc im stuck sittubg here with these shit ass feelings that no one can jack about until im either old enough to do something about it or#like. idek.#bc itsblike i cant say shit to my parents bc they wont take me seriously and lird knows i dont trust any of the adults at my fucking school#and im not going to make the handful of peiple i CAN talk to more worried about me when they already have atuff going on and they cant do#anything abt what im dealing with#but i dont even WANT to go to anyone because i dont wanna get mad at people when they tell me things i alreadybknow because i KNOW theyre#tryijg to help and they cant do much and its liek GRAH#im justvin such a shit plce bc i want to reach out but i have to do it of my own violition or else i'll just fucking shut down#im like a scared dog. in a cage. and he'll come to u if u just leave him be and let him do his own thing#but like. if im the svared little dog than everyone else is the big scary human who i slowly inch closer to and then suddenly the stick out#their hand right as im near them and then i run right back to where i was before and then we're back at square 1. does this make sense#and its litwrally no ones fault but my own#i just never know how to tell what other people are thinking so i think i project how i feel about myself onto what i thibk others rhing of#me and so i go into every potentially vulnerable conversation with my guard drawn high because im just expecting people to get sick of me#always complaining but never actually trying to better myself#idk man#im normal#i peomise
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