#this is personal and I just want to vent
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#jojo rambles#this is personal and I just want to vent#there isn't really anything to be done about this and I will manage#but man it sucks to see my savings getting smaller and smaller every month#I will still get some money#and worst case scenerio I do have further savings and fortunatly my parents can back me up#but neither are options I actually want to use#specially since my parents gave me a lot of money over my years of studying#but I am honestly wondering how people who don't get such finacial support are supposed to study#it would be so nice if I get one of the sholarships to which I applied#preferably the one with monthly payment#but how is one theoretically supposed to work to cover living cost plus study fulltime?#thesis stress + financiall stress 10/10 would recommend
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Reblog if you're LGBT and are against MAPS/Child Groomers
#i kinda want to prove a point to certain people#i don't usually post my personal problems on here unless I need to because I find it unecessary and childish#but this bullshit has been eating me the fuck up and I need to vent#LGBT does not equal groomer#Child groomers are not LGBT#MAPs are not LGBT#TW: Child Grooming#Tagging it that just in case anyone feels uncomfortable with said topic#fucking hate Texas and religion extremists and conservatives#LGBT#LGBTQ#LGBTQIA#reblog bait
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the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.
capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.
now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.
and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.
and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.
and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".
it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"
#this was much longer i had to cut it down for legibility#but i do want to say i am aware this post doesnt touch on human rights violations as a result of fast fashion#that is because it deserves its own post with a completely different tone#i am an environmental educator#so that's what i know the most about. it wouldn't be appropriate of me to mention off-hand the real and legitimate suffering#that people are going through#without doing my research and providing real ways to help#this is a vent post about a thing i'm watching happen; not a call to action. it would be INCREDIBLY demeaning#to all those affected by the fast fashion industry to pretend that a post like this could speak to their suffering#unfortunately one of the horrible things about latestage capitalism as an activist is that SO many things are linked to this#and i WANT to talk about all of them but it would be a book in its own right. in fact there ARE books about each level of this#and i encourage you to seek them out and read them!!! i am not an expert on that i am just a person on tumblr doing my favorite activity#(complaining)#and it's like - this is the individual versus the industry problem again right because im blaming myself#for being an expert on environmental disaster (which is fucking important) but not knowing EVERYTHING about fast fashion#i'm blaming myself for not covering the many layers of this incredibly complicated problem im pointing out#rather than being like. yeah so actually the fault here lies with the billion dollar industries actually.#my failure to be able to condense an incredibly immense problem that is BOOK-LENGTH into a single text post that i post for free#is not in ANY fucking way the same amount of harm as. you know. the ACTUAL COMPANIES doing this ACTUAL THING for ACTUAL MONEY.#anyway im gonna go donate money while i'm thinking about it. maybe you can too. we can both just agree - well i fuckin tried didn't i#which is more than their CEOs can say
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low cal snacks i actually wanna try (to motivate me to grab the right ingredients at the grocery store)
#ed but not ed sheeran#tw ed ana#disordered eating cw#disordered eating mention#eating disoder trigger warning#tw ana rant#sh things#personal vent#anadiet#tw ana bløg#tw edtwt#tw eating issues#ed ednotsheeran restriction#e4t1ng d1s0rd3r#tw skipping meals#tw self destruction#st4rv3#starv3#starv1ng#st4rve me#low cal meal#m3alsp0#m3alspo#m34lspo#m34lsp0#th1n$pø#th!n$p0#light as a feather#thinspø#i just want to be thin
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ultimately i think my insistence on aro positivity honestly is as much a political stance as a personal one.
when i say aro positivity is crucial and that i dislike doomer-ist posts that express sentiments like 'I hate being aro so much I wish I was dead instead’ it's not because I don’t think there can and should be a space for negativity and acknowledging self-hate, or the many ways being aromantic can really suck sometimes. i find that to be very important!
that being said. there is smth here about how self-hate posts are sometimes just arophobia that we inflict on ourselves. and when we put that out into the ether it (intentionally or not) can become arophobia that we inflict on other members of the community. i think there absolutely needs to be a place for negativity and the expression of anger and frustration and self loathing even - these are all good things to talk about because these are things that we experience. that being said, it can also be genuinely upsetting and triggering to people to have what is essentially arophobia shown to them and then have that be validated by other aspec people. your personal thoughts can affect your wider community on a level you may not anticipate. and i understand it i truly do! it took me so long to be able to recover from accepting being aroace - it threw my entire world off kilter and made me question everything about my place in the world.
but my insistence on aro joy and positivity is because ultimately i do believe that building is at the core essence of it all. that ultimately discussions and the purpose of community should be about construction, not destruction. and this is both a personal and a political stance. talking about how much you hate yourself and cultivating online discussions/spaces where negativity about aspec identity is the main and only theme is destructive - if that’s where we let the conversation end. these thoughts can and should be used as a vehicle to look for a path forward!
joy and positivity create a space where the focus can become on forging a path forward, on construction, on community building instead of tearing ourselves and others down with negative thoughts. it’s not productive or healthy when it stops at a place of negativity - it becomes actively destructive to the essence of community.
and i do think that this is especially poignant considering the fact that being any kind of queer, but especially aromantic (and/or asexual) means forging a path for yourself and making your own happiness where there is no obvious way forward. our communities exist mostly online (right now, anyway), there is little recognition of our existence in the real world, the effects of amatonormativity are both pervasive and actively dehumanising, and there are legal, economic and social structures in place actively making our lives more difficult. yes that all sucks! it’s good to acknowledge that. we need to in order to change it. but more importantly, that’s not the end. we are still here and our happiness, our future is for us to determine. even if we can’t change the laws or society, loving yourself and understanding aromanticism as a political identity (as well as personal), as a radical worldview, and as a protest against amatonormativity is essential for both community and personal well being. the personal is political.
tldr. i guess my point is that as a community, we should focus on building, improving, and nurturing ourselves and each other (construction) as opposed to destruction. we should recognise aromanticism and asexuality as political identities as well as personal ones and rely on community and self-love in the absence of anything else as a form of protest and political power. destruction (the recognition of everything that is wrong) is essential as a starting point - but where do we go from there? we rebuild.
#aromantic#aro positivity#aspec#aroace#aro#aromantic joy#arospec#when i saw its important to 'love' yourself - pls understand i am in no way trying to exclude loveless aros from this#that was just the easiest way to express what i meant! when i say 'love' i mean positivity/respect/happiness. etc. i just used that word bc#it works for ME which is why i said it. but feel free to replace it with whatever works for you! <2#also sorry if not everything im saying makes total sense i tried my best#this is something ive been thinking about for a while and have been struggling to articulate#i maybe should have read some theory for this abt community building but im too tired + overwhelmed w school reading right now so sorry.#if anyone has additions on that front though please do add them#also ngl im kinda scared to post this. i hope i explained what i mean well enough. like i get wanting to vent and express self hate BUT.#there is nuance to this and it is not unilaterally healthy i think. also i dont see any other online community fostering the normalisation#of selfhate the way the aspec one does! which makes me feel weird abt it especially.#anyway. this is basically my personal philosophy towards aromanticism#mossy posts#⚙️
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Constantly torn between my desire to convert and the crushing weight of knowing that I won’t be able to exist in the wider fandom spaces that I love without being constantly reminded that Jews are always guilty until proven innocent post-Oct 7.
#Jk the bleak realization has already set in!#I just. God I just know I’m gonna have to process a whole new cultural trauma and it’s gonna suck because post October 7 it’s inescapable#Like I’ll see a popular creator I look up to for T/ADC stuff suddenly post that fucking chant out of nowhere & I have to choose between#Leaving bc that person obviously doesn’t look for Jewish perspectives bc of bias or staying and marinating in my disillusionment#I mean I’m already feeling the disillusionment no point not going through with it#Sorry I’m not trying to be a nihilist I’m just venting bc I’m really done#Jewish Convert#Prospective Convert#Jumblr#Vent#My Post#Leftist Antisemitism#Okay to reblog#I mean not sure why you would but you can if you want
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date idea: take me to the closest lake and drown me
#actually tho cuz my life is fucking cursed and i want it to end pls n thanks <3#bpd shitposting#actually bpd#actually mentally ill#bpd#actually borderline#bpd vent#bpd fp#bpd favorite person#bpd mood#bpd problems#tw sui mention#sui ideation#passive suicide#i’m not doing well#(don’t report just block if u have an issue w my content)
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thanks i hate it
#messyr#working so slow bc i really just HSASFHEUGAEIKL I cant get work done during em#<<< comms#i want to kms so bad#vent post#doodle#artists on tumblr#bpd#bpd splitting#borderline personality disorder
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Depersonalization + Family
#hoof draws#hoofology#< i mean kinda. these are basically just vent posts using hoofology characters at this point#-but i am putting this issue squarely on ginger's shoulders as well#i also meant this in a fairly literal ''I don't feel like a real person'' sorta way but. you can easily read it in gender terms as well#if you want. b/c ginger definitely has that going on as well
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like I do think we need to acknowledge that being asexual can suck. I'm proud to be queer and I'm happy for everyone whose experience is different but for me, specifically, being asexual sucks. If I had the choice, I would change this about myself. The ways in which it affects my life are frustrating and upsetting to me and it's not just a question of accepting myself or 'coming to terms with' who I am, it is a very real impact on my interactions and relationships with other people, my existence in my community, and what the rest of my life will look like. I think it's important to talk about this not only in the context of the very real discrimination and exclusion that asexuals experience as a consequence of acephobia but also just the frustration of having so many choices and experiences taken away from you just because of your orientation
#dottie rambles#vent post#like it sucks!!!#it's hard to accept that there is this whole huge aspect of human and interpersonal experience that you just don't get to have#and depending of where you fall on the spectrum and your personal experience of asexuality#this will be different for many people and that's okay#obviously i am not mad at people who do not feel this way#but for me it is still very hard and only seems to get harder#the more i learn about myself and who i am and what i want
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one of those nights
#small vent#lately I’ve been questioning things a lot#and this overwhelming feeling of being lonely takes over#and I question myself and my feelings and thoughts on certain things#sometimes i end up thinking im a bad person#the guilt i feel because I don’t do ship art gets overwhelming sometimes#and i end up feeling like an asshole because of it#but I genuinely just can’t (at least not for the gf fandom)#family and platonic moments are just way too important to me#which might explain a small desire wanting to have that but unable to#maybe it’s the aroaceness in me idk#it just gets really lonely sometimes in your own corner#i’m sorry#I know things like this can be annoying but I needed to vent#some more light-hearted things hopefully soon#delete later
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the way I crave a parent who, not only loves me, but likes me, and notices me is so so embarrassing
#my heart aches when i think of the few good childhood memories i have with my parents#i want the mum who played snowman with me after a bath when i was covered in talcum powder#i want the mum who would hold me and not get mad at me when i cried#i want the dad who. actually i dont think i have a good memory of just me and my dad#im sick of the parents who cancel on me and forget about me and refuse to listen when i speak#im sick of being scared and alone and needing parents I'll never see again- parents ive never actually had#im homesick for a love i never really had#bpd#actually bpd#bpd safe#bpd thoughts#bpd vent#bpd blog#bpd splitting#bpd diary#actually borderline#borderline thoughts#borderline blog#borderline personality disorder#borderline vent#eupd#actually eupd#emotionally unstable personality disorder#mother issues#father issues#parent issues#family issues
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“That’s so gross, why don’t you shower or do basic hygiene when depressed? It’s not depression, it’s just laziness!”
This might sound crazy but people get so depressed they kill themselves, Helen! (≧▽≦)
#jiraiblogging#girl blogger#loserkei#vent post#tw sucidal ideation#losercore#bed rotting#sad boi hours#visual kei#landmine kei#tsukishima kei#ending it all#weebcore#webcore#i want drugs#danganronpa#fandom#personal#loser captions#im just a girl#this is a girlblog#boy blogger#gender ideology#hypersexuality#hyper sex drive#hypersexual#venting#did you just vent#was that the bite of 87#clinical depression
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A few of my favorite frames from a Trigun animation I uploaded some days ago on YouTube! Check it out!
#This was mostly vent and personal#But also as I finished trimax I just wanted to make this#trigun#trigun maximum#trigun spoilers#vash the stampede#mama's boy#animation#luna's noodles
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I say this in the kindest way possible, but I think this style of prose is more appropriate for a personal account rather than an update account. I have no idea who's being talked about half the time. 🥲
[ Tumblr meme via @mikaikaika ]
#QSMP#Philza#Edited#Phil#Let me know if this needs an additional tag#I don't think this necessitates a discourse or neg tag or whatever because I'm being silly but I'm happy to add one if folks need it#I won't post this one on Twitter I don't think because I genuinely don't want to hurt anyone's feelings#but. I feel very strongly about this. It's not helpful#I say this as a fan and as a professional writer (who also worked in the Marketing and Communications field for far too long)#The prose is nice! It's very whimsical and they're having fun! But I don't think it's appropriate for an updates account#I recently turned off notifications for QsmpEN and I'm considering muting them because half the updates just aren't helpful to me#I want to be able to speed read through the update thread I don't want to spend an additional 30 seconds trying to decipher who's who#I don't like posting complaints so I tried to make it a funny complaint#because I do think feedback is good! And I know I'm not the only one who feels this way#but at the same time: these update writers ARE volunteers#(As a side note -- I personally think anyone running a large social media account should be paid)#(I did that for a few years and it was hell. I can't imagine doing that and NOT getting paid for it)#But anyways#They're all volunteers so I don't actually wanna go all pitchforks and torches on them (which I wouldn't do anyways even if they WERE paid)#I'm just venting my frustrations in what is (hopefully) a funny way#but you're welcome to disagree! That's ok too#Portfolio
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so real.
#actually bpd#actually mentally ill#bpd shitposting#actually borderline#bpd favorite person#bpd vent#bpd mood#bpd problems#bpd#bpd fp#unhealthy love#wooooo#i love posting these types of things cuz it’s just always calling out#guys i want a lover#someone date me#someone come give me cuddles pls
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