#this is not serious btw I swear its just for shits and giggles...

[nyaskitten]

I present to you my newest crackship that everyone will love: Corruptednightmare shipping.

[fdrsamericanflagduckfloaty]

Drop the Miku Binder TJ rant bestie

okay so like

i was just thinking about it, and, like, i think it's fucking nuts but also really weird how the hamilton fandom (which i'm in but i swear i'm not an uwu lams turtles shipper please) somehow took this CRUSTY, TERF-BANGED, UGLY, OLD, REDHEADED, RAPIST ASS MOTHERFUCKER,

and turned his ugly ass into this.

like damn what the hell- what- how???? okay like yeah, they're using daveed diggs as a base for this bullshit, which, okay, fine, but YOU DID NOT NEED TO ADD THE INFO. The idea itself is funny but also a bit weird, however im 99% sure Diggs himself wore that shirt. However, all of the extra info??? come on. Where'd the fandom get this istg y'all-

Also, also, they did something similar by making John Laurens (gay blonde dumbass) into an UWU turtles boy. ....why. Bi trash coffee gremlin tumblr over-worked sleep-deprived alexander hamilton. like yeah relatable but. why. small bean big sweater uwu innocent boy blushy short james madison. ...why. bro was stubborn and would pick a fight and was the 'fuck you' type of shy.

I just find it wild the fandom made this and it is the entirety of the fandom into one. There's the good sides, there's the bad, and there's this. Which encompasses the ENTIRE. FUCKING. FANDOM.

The fandom has its headcanons, it has its perks, but then you reach the side where everyone is just a wild fucking original character. They don't model the historical figures anymore- they're just OCs with the name 'Philip Hamilton' or 'John Laurens' or god forbid our third U.S president 'Thomas Jefferson' slapped onto it.

I'm also so confused as to how this is what the fandom is known for. We have some good fics, we have hella good art, we have a M U S I C A L , and then the first thought people have of the Ham fandom is Miku Binder Third President Founding Fucker Slaveowner Thomas Jefferson.

I also find it kind of offensive (almost put insluting oh my ufckjg-) that they made a founder become this but like he'd probably be really pissed so please keep fucking up his memory lmao he deserves it

But like... also why. What made them think of this.

Like yeah I write 20k word TR smut but you don't see me drawing it.

You don't see me making him an UWU e-boy.

...Eh I probably would for shits and giggles tbh

But like this is founding father Thomas Jefferson. Third Pres. Second VP. First Sec. of State. And he is a furry, ex-cocaine addict. Also btw do they mean John Laurens or John Adams as the former drug dealer part because neither are better but it'd really help

Also bro literally raped his 14 year old slave and had like 6 kids with her. He had her room DIRECTLY NEXT TO HIS. He RAPED HIS DEAD WIFE'S HALF-SISTER. AND HE'S A SAD UWU MAN WHO DID NOTHING WRONG?

Let's not forget this same person made a post saying Lizzie (the Queen) would be reincarnated as a horse when she died. I'm serious. Deadass.

However, it's also funny as fuck because this entire thing is a tarnish to Jefferson and I fucking HATE that bastard so like good job lol

At the same time though it's still super weird??? But insane??? Because how did this become one of the Tumblr exclusives??? like it's Tumblr history at this point. Twitter history. You cannot express any like for the Hamilton musical before you get the 'have you seen miku binder thomas jefferson' and it's like 'well shit'.

But also remember: THIS IS NOT AN OC TO FUCK AROUND WITH. Hamilton the Musical specifically gave you and presented you the founder. Thomas Jefferson. Played by Daveed Diggs. Just because it is played by a POC, but also modernized, and vastly different from the actual founder and President, does not mean that at its core it is NOT STILL THE SAME PERSON.

If you name it Thomas Jefferson, if you use the presentation of him given by Daveed Diggs, you are still using that white fucking slave-owning racist motherfucker, and that's the point of it all.

I find it stupid but funny but also insane, and I wouldn't care, unless I KNEW IT WAS SERIOUS. The artist made it seriously. They made John Laurens. They made Philip Hamilton. They did this seriously.

but like also look at this lmao

This meme of Thomas Jefferson in a Hatsune Miku binder really got trending on Twitter at one point

It's an infamous, hellish, classic meme of both Tumblr and the Hamilton fandom, and it deserves what attention it's got, but Jesus please never unironically make shit like this again, Hamilfans, we're stained by this we don't need another😭🔫

EDIT:

i have more

So like, I just remembered: it kinda romanticizes these guys??? The musical??? so like don't get me wrong i love the music but... it puts them into this light. This pink light. It paints Hamilton as an abolitionist who was outspoken about it. When, in reality, dude traded and sold slaves for his in-laws + wasn't all that outspoken about it + was against immigrants or migrants, WHEN DUDE WAS FROM THE ISLANDS. HE HAD SCOTTISH BLOOD. AND HE'S AGAINST IT? Hypocrisy at its finest.

Washington also owned slaves and ran his own plantation too, so he's not off the hook. Madison, the 'uwu small bean' of the fandom, also owned slaves and ran a plantation. So the main people of this entire fiasco are slave-owners. Perfect. But also I've heard Ron Chernow's book on Hamilton, the entire start of the musical, is a bit biased to Ham himself, so...

You could be saying 'but FDRsduckfloaty, Sally is mentioned!' yes. But however, not enough. Not more. It's not even implied more than potentially ONCE what he did, and I'm not sure it ever was! Cabinet battle 3 states it flat-out but it was cut. For your info, Ben Franklin and John Adams are the only two you can really like in the slavery aspect. Ben bought them but let them go for their freedom, and John detested slavery and was against it. Never owned one.

Jefferson did add a slavery clause to the declaration but it was discarded, and he didn't fight half as much as he could have. Maybe he did and since it was the 1700s he didn't have a lot of support, but surely he could've done something like, I don't know, call it out after his terms? Once you're done gaining your second term and out of office, they can't do shit to it or your presidency, since it's over.

So the musical itself has its own problem and the fandom is even worse. It blatantly disregards that a LOT. A hella lot of the amrev fandom + a small part of the ham fandom has called TJeffs out for it but I mean can we please not make shit like Miku Binder Jefferson and act like he wasn't an actual child rapist???

This video does pretty well at it. I will admit the tagline 'America then, told by America now' almost sends shivers down my spine for what it really means. But then again I find men not knowing they'd make it down into the history books for starting the world's global power and the world's economic powerhouse pretty interesting. Doing something big and knowing it's historical, but not that it's going to form a very, VERY large country, where you'll be honored down the road and called a Founding Father of an entire nation? Signing papers and not knowing they're the founding stones of a country and still looked up to today? Intriguing.

But like still fuck Thomas Jefferson lmao

there's a lot more videos on it that dig deep, but the point is, that Hamilton is a good musical with good songs but it's also very... complex, and a bit problematic, Thomas Jefferson is a little bitch, and you should stan 1776 before you ever stan Hamilton. 1776 does not do this. It is much more realistic. 1776 has Benjamin Franklin and that's an immediate win. Be more like a 1776, be less like a Hamilton.

[jellyaibo]

ok wow its been a hot minute since i posted abt any of my dreams, mostly cuz they are either . too short so i cant rlly remember them orrr just nightmares i dont wanna talk about LMAO but dw i have a funny dream:

so i shouldve wrote this the second i woke up cuz now i dont remember EVERYTHING but uhmmmm ahah im cool . anyways in this dream i was watching a new tpot episode? or a tpot short i dont exactly remember but i think it was the latter cuz it really only focused on winner & losers backstory.

it starts off with clock talking to winner while everyones in the middle of a challenge and winner seems a little miffed by it because clock keeps asking them kinda personal questions? with one of them being "why did you leave the spotlight?" their answer to this was kinda funny, they went "you really wanna know why?" and immediately started immitating the sounds/speech of paparazzi that theyd be swarmed by. i dont really remember what they said here but i swear it was some shit like "hey hey [immitating camera click sounds] winner winner hows the 1 1 1 2 2 7 7 3? [click] [click] .how do you feel about the the [click] [click]" and. other things like that idk. this made them start giggling and clock joined in too, then once winner stopped giggling they got a little more serious and started to actually explain their…backstory with loser which went like this:

cue the wobbly transition w that one harp sound and theres a flashback to winner and loser as kids? they look much smaller and their colors are more pastel-ish than before, they were both wearing stupid little boy scout outfits and i think they were in some kind of a summer camp together? and i think thats how they met for the first time?? then theres this shot of them playing while their parents are in the background, which fucking freaked me out cuz they did NOT look like their parents bro (at least the parents me and CD designed obvs) OH and also there was only. one parent for each (which is fitting for winner . sad ! but not loser!) and they did nothing but just stand there while the two were playing it was so freaky . BUT also really fucking funny look

they pretty much just looked like that AHAH (and after this part they just. never appeared again btw)

also i decided to . draw their parents for comparison SJKDHFSJDKHF also cuz its been a while since ive drawn them :3

anyways after this part i think theres a timeskip in the flashback? but this is where things start getting foggy for me, so im not sure but i know this is when winner starts actually talking about their breakup so yeha . that is all

[heyitslapis]

You know what?

Im gonna say it

[sunookkii]

hey i know request are closed but this idea just got stuck in my mind and i wanted you to write sum about it if you like it 😭 so basically its an enha reaction/scenario ? where they forget your birthday, (maybe not in a bad way but i dont mind if its angst) hope ur good btw !! <3

a/n : OMG WAIT SRY TO ALL THE OTHER REQUESTS BUT THIS ONE FOR SUM REASON REALLY STUCK OUT TO ME i hope you enjoyyy ;) also I wrote so much I’m so sorry- [not really read proof~]

Also i am well ty for asking >.<

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.enhypen imagine ˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

Enhypen forgetting your bday~

Genre : angsty ish

Warnings : mentions of food, crying, one swear word??

Requested : yes ty beautiful person ;)

Heeseung :

Okay okay so its your birthdayyy and you were really excited for what to happen because you wanted to see what kind of surprise your boyfriend did for your birthday

But to your luck he forgot :(

So you spent all day giving him hints like ‘what day is it’ and at one point you gave up and started pouting really hard

And your face was just overall sad everyone else had remembered your birthday including the members, but for your boyfriend to forget it lowkey hurt

Almost half the day passed and he still didn’t remember

So you ended up going into the room by yourself and started to cry

Your whimpers got louder and louder even though you were trying your best to stay quiet so he doesn’t hear

A few minutes past by and heeseung started looking for you because he sensed something was wrong.

He looked on the calendar really really carefully and FINALLY he came to his realization that it was your birthday but it was kinda too late cuz you hid yourself in your room to cry.

He came into your room to wish you a happy birthday but he sees you curled up into a ball crying to yourself

He felt so bad after this happened, “IM SO SORRY IM SO SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME I WONT EVER GORGET AGAIN!”

He hugs you so tight as if your life depended on it, won’t leave you out of his sight for the rest of the day. You’ll be hearing a lot of hbds and ilys for the rest of the day~

^ so yeah 🤕

Jay :

I feel like it’s rare that he forgets these type of dates buut for the sake of tumblr lets pretend he completely forgot 😧

You woke up in a great mood because it was your birthday of course

You were expecting to be receive a hbd wish from your boyfriend, but nope nothing all morning.

You received a bunch of hbd wishes on Instagram and other platforms mentioning you, but none of them were from jay :(

You quickly got frustrated and because it was your birthday and your bf the person you love most didn’t remember really hurt

So gradually your face became wet from heated silent tears. But unlike heeseung he would super quickly notice because he’s on his phone a lot and he dates things like ‘y/ns bday’ (idk but I imagine him dating things on his phone)

He’d then be like OH SHIT ITS YN’s BD

Runs to you soooooo quick just to see your face red and a bit wet.

Once your eyes connected your tears started to come out quicker

He literally runs up to you to hug you HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING I LOVE YOU SO MUCH IM SO SORRY I FORGOT

After he said that he ran away from you leaving you alone, which made your heart drop thinking that he didn’t care.

But once you finally came out of your room you were greeted with a homemade delicious cake your boyfriend made for you that looked like this

You could tell he felt really bad bc usually he always had a smile on his face while cooking but this time it was a ‘I’m sorry’ face

“I’m really really sorry please forgive me”

All was forgiven bc the cake tasted so mf ing good

Jake :

It was your birthday today, a day that only came once a year so like any other human being it’s a special day for you

You were super excited to see what Jake did for you, because every birthday you had with him was always such a surprise

But today was sort of… different? :(

You saw jake in the living room on the tv and went straight up to him with a smiley face. “GOOODMORNINGGG” 😁

After cuddling for a while on the couch you lifted up your head and asked him If he knew what day it was, he just replyed with a simple Wednesday? With a confused face

I’m pretty sure that one word was enough to make you pretty upset 😅🥲

You started to pout and went back into his chest with a disappointed face.

“Ahh what what, what day is it tell me?” He said playfully, not realizing it was your birthday.

You stayed silent as he checked his phone, ‘y/n’s birthday don’t forget’

When i tell you he gasped he GASPED.

You were already in the verge of tears “IM SO SORRY HBD BABY”

You were still a bit upset at him so you replied with ‘did you really need your phone to tell me what day it was’ 😕

He hugs you tighter while mumbling ‘hbd hbd hbd’

Suddenly let you go of his arms and said he had an errand. Without any explanation he got his car keys to go somewhere leaving you and your thoughts by yourself.

‘Does he not love me anymore that he doesn’t even want to spend time with me on my birthday? ☹️😭”

A while later he comes back and you’re luckily still on the couch where he left you

^^this dude came back with three beautiful cakes from your local cake stores. “I’m bacccckkkk!! please forgive meeeee you know i love you with all my heart 🥺” (okay i hate to use this emoji but there isn’t any other way to describe it TT)

You obviously forgave him because you know it was never his intention to forget,,, “you owe me hugs and kisses for the rest of the day :(“ kindly accepts your request because that is something he’d never complain about #freecuddlesfromyn

Sunghoon :

Okay but like hear me out he’s the type of boyfriend that would ‘pretend’ he forgot your birthday but he actually didn’t

So when he ACTUALLY forgot you just thought he was joking until…

“Hooonieeee, stop joking around I’m seriouss”

“I’m serious too i seriously don’t know what day it is”

“What…”

You leave him for a bit alone with his thoughts, not even gna lie if he did end up forgetting your bday it would take him a while to remember it

But once he remembers he feels so bad 😭

Tackles you with so many hugs and bday kisses and showers you with I’m sorrys and hbd wishes

genuinely ask himself how he forgot the lohls birthday (love of his life’s) literally beats himself for it

And you have to tell him that it’s fine and that you forgive him~

Brings out the birthday cake and sings you a happy birthday song while clapping and laughing.

Puts cake on your nose

Sunoo :

Idk if he’s the type to forget but like jay I don’t think he’d forget

I feel like to him birthdays are the MOST special thing/ date for a person

Like obviously the rest of the members think that but especially sunoo really like sticks to this

So if he had forgotten your birthday you were sooo hurt you ignored him the whole day keeping your distance until he finally remembered

Once he remembered he went to go find you ASAP where you were hiding int he corner of the bedroom moping

He showers you with hugs cuddles kisses pecks, you name it he does it

He feels so bad that he could forget smtg like this, literally asks himself how he could forget such an important date

If the convenience store was still open he’d run to the nearest store and surprise you with a birthday cake. But not just any cake it’d be a cake that was decorated by the one and only Kim Sunoo

Would prepare it so nicely and even have a lit up candle so you can wish on it.

the type to surprise you with it even though he forgot. Brings it to your room while singing the hbd song.

Puts cake frosting on your nose #2, takes lots and lots of pictures to post on insta later

caption : “happy birthday sunshine~”

Jungwon :

he was on the couch as per usual just scrolling through his phone to keep himself occupied but also updated

Not knowing what day it was,,,,,,,

you come outside of your bedroom excitedly to expect a wishful happy birthday wish from the person you love most

But for some reason it oddly seemed like a normal day

“Wonnniiieee my loveeee, guess what day it is!” You said with a sheepish smile

“Hmm wednesday?” He said looking up at you with a calm face

Your happy smile soon became a little pout

“You really don’t know?”

“Isn’t it just a regular Wednesday? Why is there something special?”

oh my- he broke your heart right then and there

You run back into your room because you feel heated tears about to fall, even though it was something small the thought of him not remembering your birthday the day of your birth hurt. A little.

Jungwon was actually super clueless he genuinely didn’t know what day it is but something about you seemed off and the way you ran to your room was quite odd to him so he went and followed you

Before he opened the door he already heard small whimpers from the corner of the bed, and that immediately triggered him and he was about to beat up anyone that made you feel sad 😠 little did he know it was him who made you feel that way

“Baby what’s wrong? Why are you crying”

He holds your chin and turns it to get a better look

wiping your tears with his thumb, you were being a dramatic his giggles make you feel a bit better even though you were mad at him for forgetting

“You forgot my birthday.” You said to him while crying

You can literally see the gears in his brain start to turn when his face went from 😄 -> 😳

“IM SO SORRY IM SO SORRY” hugs you so tight that you literally can’t breathe

Doesn’t know what to do to make you feel better, “I’m really sorry for forgetting your birthday, I don’t really know what got into me, please forgive me.”< cue the cutest kitty puppy eyes

He kept on rambling on abt how he was sorry and deserves your forgiveness you literally had to shut him up, he was sorry please forgive him >~<

Cuddles you for the rest of the day

Niki :

He was playing video games normally on his phone, until you excitedly stormed into his room “hiiiii babbbbyyyy”

“Well someone is happy today :)”

“Well of course bc u know what day it isss ;)”

“Wednesday?”

😧😦 < that’s what you looked like when he didn’t know, “you really don’t remember?”

“hmm I’m not too sure” he said before going back to his game

you slowly became disappointed and just ‘celebrated’ your birthday by yourself in the kitchen. :,((

he didn’t notice that you were sad at first bc he was busy playing on his phone, around an hour later he went to the kitchen to get a snack when he sees you in the kitchen staring into space rested your chin on you arm.

‘Are you okay? You seemed fine earlier’

You decided to play the silent game and just avoided him... so he tried to get you to talk to him but after a while it didn’t work so he sort of gave up and went to ask his hyungs what’s wrong with you.

“Niki,,, it’s y/n’s birthday omg did you forget??????” Jake said texting niki

and that’s when the lightbulb in his brain turned on

He rushed to the kitchen and back hugged you so tight and gave you so many cheekie kissies to try and make up for ‘forgetting’

But to his luck you were still mad at him

Soooo he came up with the idea of going to the convenience store really quick to get you a bunch of flowers and a nice cake to surprise you~

You ended up forgiving him because he was tickling you threatening you to forgive him

N knowing Niki he’s not a person you can be mad at for long <3

[nitroish]

i would love to hear more about legends and warriors friendship

BOY HOWDY HERE WE GO! yall enable me smh

- legend did Not like warriors when they first met. hed definitely go a bit too far in insults (tho he kinda did that w most of them), though it was mostly jabs about military things and less about warriors himself

- when warriors starts playing along and lightheartedly answering legend's jabs back cues the start of a ~ beautiful friendship ~ and legend eases up on his more genuine insults

- legend and warriors end up having late night conversations when one of them is awake during the other's shift. its not rare for it to happen by any means, but it is uncommon so they enjoy the time when they can. this is usually when more of the more delirious comments and banter comes out to play. its one of those talks you have with your friend at 1-6am that starts with casual conversation, takes a sharp turn to trauma, and then dissolves into sleepy delirium

- sometimes they're just sitting together silently at night and one of them catches the other's eye and they both start fucking cackling for no reason. they settle down and then one of them fuckin giggles and they dissolve into a fucking fit of laughter again until someone tells them to shut up. (they do not shut up.)

- they fight so seamlessly together. its REALLY damn cool. you could swear theyve done this before, but in reality they just understand what the other person is thinking and a Look one of them shoots at the other just kinda spells everything out. all the plans and ideas - they know each other well enough to adapt to what the other person is doing and they definitely trust one another to pull off some of the more crazy stunts legend or warriors have thought up during a battle. if one of them says "duck" they do not fucking hesitate.

- very quickly, though not very easily, warriors becomes one of the first people legend goes to to confide in. if he does not want something sugarcoated, warriors is (one of) his best bets for that. it also goes the other way - legend does not sugarcoat anything and will readily tell warriors if hes being stupid.

- they both are very good at balancing seriousness and lighthearted comments, but theyre also capable of being Very Serious if a situation calls for it.

theres a moth in my fucking room. help

- warriors is very aware that legend could absolutely beat his ass. warriors is VERY aware that legend, when the vet is In The Zone, could absolutely fuck every single one of them up. he is very supportive of him. hes also very glad legend is on their side, especially when he witnesses the guy absolutely knock out a few black blooded monsters on his own.

- legend has definitely beaten warriors ass in many spar sessions and warriors always says he cheats or fought dirty. legend disagrees <3 u just suck, bro, get good :///

- warriors and legend bet but most of the time neither of them actually follow through with the bet's prize so sometimes theyll come up with the funniest fucking prizes and then say shit like "hey you owe me fifty bees, remember?" or "you still owe me half your inventory" or "dont i get to have the next [sweet food/good item] you get/are given?"

- just wait til you hear about the time warriors got legend to go swimming/run around with him in the rain. (not a lightning storm, but it was heavy rain. its very nice btw.)

- just wait til you hear about the time legend got warriors to sneak into the castle with him. (common, legends done it loads of times. he deserves it. fable doesnt mind anyway)

what else could i add. idk. i could definitely go on and on but i will spare you.

legend and warriors are best fucking friends. thanks for coming to my tedtalk i finished typing all of this at 1:23am what a nice note to end on KJGFFD

[hwangsies]

LIMERENCE

(n) the state of becoming infatuated with another person

pairing: hyunjin x female reader

summary: you haven’t spoken a word to hyunjin since he ghosted you after a fun new years eve together, so what’s the worst that could happen when fate (or chaeryong,...well, same thing) pairs you up for a road trip across the country?

warnings: e2l (ish), university student!au, non idol!au ,a lot of swearing. alcohol consumption,long flashback, mentions of infidelity, hyunjin is a giggly sweetheart, smut as in: dom!hyunjin, unprotected sex (wrap it up luvs),fingering, oral (f recieving), slight choking, praise kink, hand & strenght kink (manhandleing oopsie), slight overstimulation, hyunjin is really enthusiastic about consent (as you should be, periodt), reader is nervous and scared of hyunjins big pickle (ew i hate myself), motel sex (but it’s not trashy i promise!)

8.6 k words ,meaning grab a snack and a drink,

and enjoy!<3

---

"alright everyone" your professor rubs his hands together "that was it for today... i hope you all have a great break and i'm very exited to see all of you again next semester. hopefully in person again" he chuckles.

You and your classmates exchange goodbyes with him before one after the other exits the zoom call.

"fuck" you sigh after closing your laptop and lean back on your bed.

"you did it girl" your dormmate chaeryong claps, at which you giggle before shifting your eyes to her on the other side of the room.

She's sitting on her bed, folding her clothes before putting it in her suitcase thats placed in front of her.

"finally" you sit up and watch her roll up a pair of socks.

"my last class was yesterday and mrs kim teared up" she giggles "it was kinda cute not gonna lie"

"oh god" you snicker.

"hey did you find someone to take to yongin?" you ask, remebering chearyong talking about wanting to find someone to share gas expenses with in exchange for a ride to her hometown.

"oh yea, i did" she turn to you "i think you know him, seo changbin?"

You furrow your brows in thought, you feel like you've heard of the name.

"he's a music major, one year above us, hes also from yongin" she continues folding a pair of jeans "funny you'd ask actually cause he told me one of his friends was looking for a ride to seoul, isn't that where you're going?"

"Yea i was thinking about finding someone honestly because gas is really fucking expensive if you aint rich" you say, placing your laptop onto your nightstand.

"Mm you aint gotta tell me girl" chaeryong mumbles, folding a sweatshirt.

"so who's that friend?" you ask, stretching out on your bed.

"he's in his grade, hyunjin"

Your neck almost cracks from how fats you whip your head “hwang hyunjin?”

"Oh yea" she points at you "you know him?"

"unfortunately" you huff.

"o-oh, what"s the tea?" your roommate wiggles her brows at which you shake your head.

"nothing much really" you sigh, leaning back again "he's just like the most arrogant and stuck up fuckboy ever"

"wow, well thats not nothing" chaeryong laughs "any reason as to why you think that?"

"you could probably ask any girl on campus and she'll tell you the same" you scoff.

"really girl?" chaeryong squints an eye at you playfully "cause i've only heard of him being hot but never of him being a hoe. And you know i'm the first to know the hot gossip" she winks.

Laughing defeatedly, running your hand through your hair.

"it's just- we hit it off at the campus' new years eve party, like really hit it off- at least thats what i thought"

"oooh spill it spill it" chaeryong leaps over to your bed to sit at the end of it.

"well there's really not much to spill, i gave him my number and he was talking all that smack about taking me out and stuff aaand to make a long story short i never heard from him again"

"well" chaeryong speaks slowly, biting her lip guiltily "i dont think you'll be very happy about me giving changbin your number for him, then?"

"you did what???" your eyes almost pop out of your head.

"sooorryy" she jumps up from your bed, clutching her hands apologetically "i didnt know"

"aaaaarghh" you whine, burying your face in your pillow.

"maybe he won't even text you though" chaeryong tries to console you, but the damage is already done...

-

unknown number - hey i got this number from changbin, i heard you're driving up to seoul, i'd love to tag along if you're looking for someone to share expenses with -recieved at 9:12 am

You huff looking at the message on your phone.

After chaeryong had left last night you really convinced yourself that he couldn't possibly dare to reach out to you.

But here you are reading his message after just waking up, and your day is already ruined.

you - who is this? - sent at 9:56 am

You know who it is, but you're not going to give him the satisfaction of thinking that you do.

Scoffing when he answers almost immediately.

unknown number - this is hyunjin, did i reach the right person? - recieved at 9:57 am

You have two choices at this point.

1. be petty and bitter about a boy who probably doesn't even remember you.

Or 2. move on and help someone who is also just trying to get home and also maybe get some closure.

So you curse your mother for rasing you so well and suck it up.

you - yea sure, i planned on leaving tomorrow at around 6 pm - sent at 10:02 am

Damn you and your common human decency.

he sus - oh okay great :) i only have one suitcase and a backpack btw so i wont take up alot of space or anything - recieved at 10:05 am

he sus - also i feel weird bc i dont know ur name or anything changbin literally just sent me the number and nothing else lol, also 6 sounds good should we meet at the main building then? -sent at 10:06 am

You're quite honestly not shocked that he seems nice over text because he was the same when you met on new years eve.

you - sure lets meet at the main building, my car is white and my name is y/n - sent at 10:09 am

Cringing as you press the send button because you are 99% certain he won't answer anymore; not that you'd care, obviously.

he sus - alright y/n see you tomorrow at 6 then :) - recieved at 10:14 am

You raise your brows when your phone lights up with his message, does he really not remember you?

Was he that drunk?

Well, it doesnt matter because you don't want to pay for all this gas alone and he seems to be the next best option to fix that.

So you shrug it off and get out off bed to run some last errands and start packing.

-

Your heart is beating unreasonably fast when you take a turn towards the main building at 5:55 pm the next day.

Calm down y/n it’ll just be 5 hours and who says you have to talk to him?

However you do know deep in your heart that you only wanted to arrive just a little early so you could complain about him being late.

That plan got cut short because your eyes fall on him as you pull up to the main building.

He’s- oh my god he’s blonde. You stop your car and he looks up at you.

“it is you!” hyunjin smiles at you when you step out of the car.

“who else would it be?” you ask, a little irritated at his reaction.

His face drops a bit when he sees you clearly annoyed by him, but the doesn’t blame you; he’d be mad too.

You open your trunk for him to put his weirdly small suitcase into, looking him up and down as he lifts it inside.

He’s wearing dark baggy pants and a windbreaker jacket, the top part of his chin-length blonde hair is pulled back into a messy ponytail.

He seemed to have bulked up as well, shoulders looking broader than what you remember.

The hair is different than the jet black hair that you remember on him, but it suits him very well; to be honest he would look good in any hair colour, not that you’d care though.

The first thirty minutes of the ride go by agonizingly slow and in complete silence.

When you drive onto the freeway you can’t take it anymore and mumble something among the lines of ‘wanna listen to some music?’.

You don’t wait for an answer, pressing the radio button right as you finish your sentence.

“uh, actually” hyunjin starts, his hand lifting to turn the radio back off, your eyes snap towards him, is he serious? Turning off your radio in your car?

“I wanted to address this situation” he says rather quietly.

You scoff “what? You realized that this is awkward just now?”

“no- I mean- yes I understand why you would think that but I just really want a chance to explain myself” he stutters.

“explain yourself” you repeat after him before mumbling “sure because there’s so much to explain”

“listen, I know you think I’m an asshole who just ghosted you b-“

“listen, I can handle rejection, you could’ve just said that you weren’t looking for something serious and I would’ve accepted that. The thing I’m mad about though is you literally making false promises and shit” 

Hyunjin blinks at you “can I please just explain to you what happened?”

You let out a long huff “sure” you wave your hand “go ahead”

“when you and your friends left at around 4, you wrote your number on my arm with your eyeliner, correct?” he asks.

Glancing over at him, you nod.

“after you where gone, I was already pretty drunk but then my friends decided to drag me with them to a different party that was still going” you see him fiddling with his hands in your peripheral “well I got super fucking shitfaced at that party and ended up puking on this one guys shoes”

You raise your eyebrows and hold back a laugh, which he notices.

“its okay you can laugh” he chuckles as well.

“anyways that guy was not very happy about it and busted my lip before kicking me and my friends out, so then back in the dorm my roommate sat me in the shower because I was full of alcohol, blood and puke”

“ew” you chime in.

“and when I woke up the next morning your number was gone” hyunjin looks over at you “we don’t have any mutual friends, I didn’t know what your major is so I couldn’t even asks for you in the administrating office, and then the covid lockdown happened and here we are”

“you called the administrating office?” you look over at him, he nods a little smile on his stupid pretty lips.

“yep, so, sorry to tell you but your eyeliner is not waterproof” he jokes at which you playfully knit your brows at him.

“believe me, I wanted to text you. I really wanted to take you out; and when you sent me your name yesterday I didn’t know if this was a lucky coincidence or if you’re a different y/n, that’s why I didn’t say anything” he explains.

You take a deep breath as you realize you have to apologize for going off on him just now, you believe him but you hate apologizing.

“well, I feel like an ass for going off on you like that after hearing all this” you chuckle “I’m sorry” you eye him shortly before looking back on the road.

“it’s okay, you don’t have to apologize I get how it looked, very much sus” he laughs with you.

-

Coming back to your car after you took a bathroom break on a highway rest-stop, you see hyunjin sitting in the drivers seat.

“what do you think you’re doing?” you smile as you sit down on the passenger seat.

“I thought maybe you’d like to sleep since its dark already and you’ve been driving for almost 3 hours” he suggests while putting on his seatbelt.

“well, I wont say no to that” you shrug and put your seatbelt on as well.

“so when did you go blonde?” you ask curiously.

“uh- around end of june” hyunjin chuckles “it was a dare if I’m being honest but I ended up liking it and got it redone”

“oh okay” you check out his profile once more and follow his hair with your eyes “I like it”

“yea?”

“yea, which is weird cause I’m usually not into blondes at all” you wonder.

“hm” he grins “must be me then” he says before winking at you.

“pfff, in your dreams” you rebuttal playfully, at which he laughs and mumbles a ‘true’.

You don’t react to it because you think your ears are playing tricks on you.

“hey I have a question too” hyunjin says.

“what’s up” you lean your arm against the window as you look over at him.

His face is slightly lit by the lights of the other cars, no seriously, how can a side profile be so perfect?

“why did you even agree to take me with you if you thought I ghosted you?” he grins.

You laugh “well, I’m a nice person and I know not a lot of people there are from seoul and my mom raised me right, okay?”

“okay okay” he giggles, the way his eyes crinkle when he does makes you smile everytime.

“or…did you have such a good time with me on new years that you just had to jump on this opportunity?” he quips, carefully stealing a peek at you.

“sure, why do you think I was so upset when you didn’t text” you feign sadness.

The both of you laugh before falling into comfortable silence.

When looking outside your window, you think back to said new years eve.

-(flashback)

“oh my god” you said, stepping into the big hall that usually is the universities gym. But whoever planned this outdid themselves.

A dj was placed on one of the tribunes and a whole buffet of drinks and punches on the other, as well as a big disco ball hanging from the ceiling, making the room shimmery and shiny.

You could see people coming out of the doors that connected into the universities hall on one side and into the locker rooms on the others, as if it wasn’t already packed.

“this is fucking insane” lia, your roommate from last semester, squeaked while grabbing your arm and jumping a little, her voice overpowering the blasting music..

“I wanna get fucking hammered tonight” you turned to her.

“oh babe don’t worry,  we didn’t come here to drink soda” she laughed before spotting some of your other friends.

About five minutes before midnight you and some more girls gathered at the buffet of drinks and started doing shots.

You all had decided that instead of kissing someone at 12 o’clock you’d ring in 2020 with a shot, because alcohol can’t cheat on you.

You were laughing at something when some people started the countdown.

10!

9!

8!

7!

6!

5!

4!

3!

2!

1!

“HAPPY NEW YEAR”

Every one shouted and celebrated in union as you downed your shot.

“happy new year babe” lia hugged you after downing hers.

“happy new year!” you shouted into her ear, full of relief that this stressful year was over.

“lets do another one” she grinned widely after your whole friend group had shared their wishes with each other.

A girl you didn’t know very well handed you another shot, just as you emptied your glass you heard a guy yell something before stumbling into your back.

“jesus” you stumbled forward a bit before turning around, ready to throw someone a dirty look.

“I’m so sorry, are you okay?” in front of you suddenly stood a tall dark haired young man with almost too perfect facial features, frowning a little out of concern.

“nothing happened” you smiled, taking a step towards him so he’d hear you better.

“I’m glad” he replied, a grin slowly stretched across his handsome face

“I’m y/n” you giggled as you held out your hand.

His eyes crinkled with his smile as he took your hand in his “I’m hyunjin” he said before pressing a kiss to the back of your hand.

“okay guys let her have her fun lets go over there” you hear lia usher your friends away from behind you.

“happy new year y/n” he said before instinctively pulling you a little closer to him when a group of people passed behind you.

“happy new year hyunjin” you replied, a slow blush creeping on your face from how intensely he was taking in your appearance.

“well yea happy fucking new years to me for running into you” he joked before taking a sip, your brain wasn’t able to function anymore so you just giggled and nervously pushed your hair behind your ear.

It had been way too long since you’d talked to a guy, especially someone as attractive as him

“you’re fucking stunning” hyunjin complimented you and lifted your hand with his to make you spin for him, to which you complied because you took a long time getting ready and always appreciate being appreciated.

“thank you” you were crimson red by now but hoped he wouldn’t see because of the dimmed lights.

“how come I’ve never seen you around? I would’ve remembered you” he tilted his head.

“oh this was my first year here and I live on the other side of campus so…” you nodded slowly “but yea I would’ve remembered you too”

He grinned before downing his drink and putting on the table next to the both of you.

“wanna dance?”

That’s how you found yourself on the dance floor with hyunjin pressed against your back.

Slowly but surely the alcohol made you braver; and it didn’t take long for the dj to play perfect songs to grind yourself against his toned body to.

His reaction was instant, hands gripping even harder at your waist and his own movements matching your own.

You looked back at him just to have the air knocked out of your lungs, a barely there sheen of sweat was covering his forehead; his pupils were dilated and his lips were slightly parted before his tongue swiftly swept over his lower lip.

He looked like sex on legs and moved like it too.

His plump lips formed into a grin when he noticed you staring, you didn’t know if it was the alcohol running through your system but you so desperately wanted to kiss him.

“can’t stop looking at you either, pretty” he lowered his head to mumble against your cheek before pressing a kiss there.

“you’re so goddamn sexy” you blurted out as you turned around to face him, running one of your hands through his dark hair before positioning them on his firm chest.

He threw back his head as his chest vibrated with laughter.

“don’t laugh at me” you laughed as you locked eyes again.

“you’re cute when you’re drunk” hyunjin brought one hand to your face to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

“you dont even know me sober” you giggle “also i’m not drunk!” you protested playfully, his hands found your waist in the meantime to pull you flush to his body; at which you gasped almost inaudibly.

“oh really?” he looked down at you, clearly amused “didn’t you drink like 5 shots half an hour ago?”

“well well well, I didn’t know I had an audience” you countered, looping your arms around his neck.

Hyunjin prodded at the inside of his cheek with his tongue before looking away for a swift second, slightly embarrassed because he just exposed himself.

You felt yourself gush a little when he licked his lips again after bringing his gaze back to you.

“so you almost knocked me over on purpose?” you grinned even bigger when he shook his head laughingly.

“listen” he chuckled, leaning down unnecessarily close because you could hear him perfectly fine but you weren’t going to complain.

“I actually didn’t run into you on purpose, that was my friends doing after he saw me notice you” he said.

You mouthed an ‘ahh’ while nodding, feigning disbelief.

“I’m serious” hyunjin laughed “I still have to thank him later; I would’ve probably chickened out”

He got quieter at the end of his sentence, his eyes jumping to your lips when you wet your lower lip with your tongue quickly.

“i-m glad he pushed you then” you replied, trying to hide the fact that your heart was pumping your blood in record time.

“yea” he inched his face closer to yours as you tilted your chin up to meet him in the middle “me too”

His eyes switched from your lips to your eyes one more time before closing the gap between the both of you.

His lips were firm but soft at the same time in the way they moulded against yours, you swore you could hear lia squealing from somewhere but maybe you were just hearing things.

But when his tongue touched yours in the most tentative way you lost contact to what was going on around you, slinging your arms tighter around his neck and deepening the kiss.

A tiny groan escaped hyunjins throat when you carded your fingers through his hair to tug on it and release some of the adrenalin that rushed through you.

He was slow and explorative and let you take control from time to time before sucking on your lower lip and making you loose it.

You didn’t know how many songs had passed; to be honest you didn’t even remember what song was playing when you started kissing.

All you knew in that moment was hyunjins lightly flushed cheeks, swollen lips and dark glistening eyes.

“let’s go somewhere else?” he questioned in a whisper when you bit your lip, nodding at his question.

He grabbed your hand in his before manoeuvring the both of you through the dancing and celebrating crowd.

Before you knew it, hyunjin pulled you into the entrance hall of the university where multiple people had the same idea as you.

Couples scattered across the big room, some just talking, most of them however making out heavily.

“come on” he softly tugged at your hand, smiling when your gaze falls on him.

He lead you up the big flight of stairs onto a floor of the building you’ve never been to, stopping in front of a random room before pulling a small set of keys out of his back pocket.

After unlocking the door, he opened it to let you step inside.

It was a dance studio, the wall right across from you was just one huge mirror through which you could see the big couch in the back of the room and the water dispensers next to it.

“why do you have the keys for this room?” you asked, giggling.

Hyunjin grinned as he closed the door “I’m a dance major, we all have keys for the practice rooms”

“that’s so cool” you beamed “I wish I could dance” you looked around the room, walking towards the mirrored wall a little bit.

“you were moving just fine earlier” hyunjin came up behind you, nimble hands finding your waist as he looked you up and down through the mirror intensely, now that you were under the bright lights of the room.

You couldn’t help but to smile a little at that, the tight little glitter dress that you had chosen really did accentuate your curves in the best way possible, paired with the cute black heels which made your legs look way longer than they actually are.

“but that was like club sexy dancing, you know?” you elaborated.

“hm” he hummed amusedly “whats wrong with sexy club dancing?” you turned around to him.

He didn’t look to shabby himself, all in black, a chic button up with some jeans and a belt; accessorized with rings on his pretty fingers, a  dainty silver necklace and some small earrings.

Some might say he was underdressed, but the way he carried himself with such confidence, and that face of his must for sure be a panty dropper, you thought.

“nothing but… I don’t know, teach me something” you pleaded.

“what do you want me to teach you?” he laughed.

“I don’t know a pirouette or something” you suggested, laughing as well.

“okay” he grinned “this is like the base stance” he positioned himself correctly before looking at you to see if you were following his instructions.

“mhm” you hummed, replicating what he was doing.

“and then you get momentum with one leg to be able to swing yourself around, like this” hyunjin explained before executing a perfect pirouette and ending it back in the base stance.

“that was fast” you chuckled.

“your turn” he grins before moving behind you “try to keep your eyes on yourself in the mirror otherwise you’ll loose balance”

“okay” you said unsurely.

“I’ll catch you if you fall” he winked at you, at which you scoff playfully before carefully swinging yourself into a pirouette.

You landed on wobbly legs but before you could tip over hyunjin stabilized you with a firm grip on your hips.

“you’re a natural” he grinned at you through the mirror.

“well thank you” you playfully feigned cockiness before he spun you around himself.

A few seconds pass of the both of you taking in each others features in silence, the only thing you could hear was the faint music of the party downstairs, before hyunjin spoke up.

“can I kiss you?”

You fell into giggles again as you let your forehead rest against his collarbone before looking up again “we’ve kissed before”

“yea but that was like a moment and I don’t want to catch you off guard or anything” he mumbles cutely.

“mm” you nod “ you can kiss me”

And with a smile, he does.

You weren’t surprised when his first gentle ministrations turned into more desperate ones rather quickly because you could feel the warmth spread in your lower regions as well.

He walked the both of you over to the couch, only parting from your lips when he sat down on the black leather material of the couch.

“come here, pretty girl” he took your hand to help you straddle him, your dress riding up but you couldn’t care less if he saw your safety shorts, and he didn’t seem to care either by the way he feverishly connected your lips again.

His hands travelled down to squeeze at your waist before smoothing over your ass and grabbing a handful of each cheek, you moaned into the kiss when you realized how big his hands were.

Your own hands were squeezing at his shoulders before one moved into his soft hair while the other softly rested on his cheek.

The kiss was messy and desperate, teeth clinking together and tongues licking at each other.

The things that riled you up the most however were his groans and praises.

“you’re so fucking sexy” he groaned before moving down to kiss at your jaw and down your neck.

A needy whimper escaped from your throat when he started suckling the sensitive skin at the base of your throat.

“fuck-hyunjin” you moaned when his teeth grazed over your clavicle.

Your hands fumbled before landing on his belt, at which he pulled away from your skin, gently taking your hands off of his belt.

“I’d love to take you out first, actually” his pretty kiss swollen lips twitched up into a shy smile as he pants.

“oh” you were taken aback, you were almost certain that this was something regular for him “I thought-“

“I mean if you just want to fuck we can fuck of course” he chuckled “but- I actually think you’re really cute and fun and I’d love to get to know you better”

Your mouth stood a little agape “uh- I mean-I” you stuttered, your brain not functioning properly because of the alcohol running through your veins but also him!

“its okay if you just want, you know-“

“no!” you blurted out all over sudden, making him flinch a little “sorry, uhm- its just been a while since I had a date” you smile apologetically.

His expression visibly brightens “that’s okay” he giggled “so is that a yes?”

You grinned, leaning in to just barely brush your lips with his, his head twitching upwards in an attempt to connect them fully.

“yes” you whispered, at which he smiled brightly before pulling your in for a kiss by your neck.

-(flashback end)

“y/n”

“hey, y/n” you grumble when you feel someone gently rocking your shulder.

“mmm-what?” you peek your eyes open just to see hyunjin smile at you.

“good morning sunshine” he teases as you sit up in your seat when you realize you aren’t driving anymore.

“just kidding its not morning” he says as you look around your car, realizing your on a parking lot.

“where the fuck are we?” you whip your head towards him “did you bring me here to kill me? kidnap me?”

“wha?- no” he laughs “no, I’m sorry. Right after you fell asleep there was this huge traffic jam because of an accident and we stood there for almost 3 hours so I drove off and found this” he points out the rear window, where you see a small motel building.

You look back at him before checking the time on your phone, seeing it was indeed almost midnight.

“fuck” you swear to yourself.

“I didn’t know if you wanted to keep driving because I was getting tired so I thought maybe-“ hyunjin starts rambling guiltily, not wanting you to thing that this was an attempt to get in your pants.

“hey” you put your hand on his shoulder after taking off your seatbelt “this is good, you made the right decision I think we both could use some sleep” you say.

You each take your suitcases and walk inside, it’s an old building but it looks pretty clean for a motel off of the highway.

“good evening you two” an old lady sits behind the, probably just as old, reception.

“good evening, could we get 2 single rooms, please” hyunjin speaks up politely.

“I’m afraid we only have 2 double bed rooms available, if you’d like to take them, they will however be more expensive than the rooms for one” she explains politely.

“its okay, we’ll take one of those, please” you decide, hyunjins head snapping towards you.

“is that okay?” you ask him.

“yea- sure” he nods.

“alright, room 301 it is” she hands you the key before stating that you’ll have to checkout before 12 pm and what the room costs.

“do you accept card?” hyunjin asks at which the friendly old lady nods before taking his card and swiping it through her little machine.

“I’ll venmo you half of what you paid” you say after unlocking room 301.

He tsk’s at you before shaking his head “don’t, it was my idea so I’ll pay”

“are you sure?” you ask closing the door behind you when he turns on the lights.

“yup-oh” he exclaims.

“this room is cute” you say, it’s small but the walls are a soft sunflower yellow, decorated with paintings of autumn leaves .

The bed looks clean, and when you smell the mouse gray blankets and pillows, they smell fresh as well.

“stop smelling the pillows” hyunjin laughs.

“I’ve never been to a motel, I thought everything would be dirty or ancient” you confess comically.

He chuckles as he comes out of the small bathroom “the bathroom is clean too, don’t worry” he says when you look at him expectantly.

“I’ll sleep on the floor if you want” he offers as you open your suitcase to get out your toothbrush and pj’s.

“it’s fine, hyunjin I’ve slept in the same bed as a male before” you joke.

“well how am I supposed to know that?” he counters, at which you throw your pj shorts at him out of reflex.

When you realize what you had done it was too late, he was already holding them out in front of him before giggling.

“very cute choice” he mocks the small white shorts with red hearts all over it.

“stoop” you whine, trying to fish it out of his hands but he holds them over his head like a kindergartener.

“I remember why I don’t like you” you pout, crossing your arms.

His face drops alongside with his arms “I thought we were past that”

You use his moment of weakness to snatch your shorts out of his hands “gotcha”

-

“see I told you I was gonna take you out” hyunjin beams at you before looking down at the various snacks he took from the motels vending machine, which were laying in between the both of you on the bed.

“and so luxurious too” you joke, crossing your legs.

“only the best for you” he grins when you open a pack of fruit jellies.

“you know, I was thinking about new years” you say “ and I realized that it was your fault!”

Hyunjin throws his head back as he groans playfully “why?”

“if you hadn’t lost your phone when we got back downstairs, I wouldn’t have had to write my number on your arm; or you could’ve just given me your number and I could’ve text you. But you didn’t even know your own number!” you laugh in reminiscence.

“listen” he laughs “I was drunk and you’re hot! I couldn’t think” he defends himself before taking a bite off a chocolate bar.

You blush a little but play it off with a laugh.

“but yes, I admit, it was indeed my fault” he dramatically holds his hand in front of his eyes.

“yeeees!” you exclaim victoriously.

“I’m kidding though” you pat his knee “I forgive you”

“I’m glad” he smiles.

After the both of you are done eating way too many sweets, you find yourself being really comfortable when talking to hyunjin.

He’s funny, doesn’t seem like he’s full of himself and just in general seems like a very kind person.

“I thought you were a fuckboy when me met” you confess, looking at him.

Propped on one elbow looking down at you, while you lay on your side towards him, his face illuminated only by the little lights on each of your nightstands.

“you did?” he asks confusedly.

“yea” you chuckle “you were so confident and…sexy I don’t know” you place your hand over your face in embarrassment.

“oh that was the liquid courage talking, I’m usually pretty shy” he shakes his head smilingly when you peek through your fingers.

“don’t lie” you push his shoulder softly.

“I’m serious!” he laughs.

“you were the first guy to approach me at a party” you pause “like ever”

“no way, you’re lying now” he furrows his brows.

“nope” you shake your head.

“but I was really close to not talking to you as well, I’m sure there were many guys before me that just didn’t have the liquid courage, like I did” he speculates.

“maybe” you say.

“have any exes?” he asks after a few seconds.

“yea, one”

“well how did you meet him?”

“he showed me around on my first day of freshman year, I transferred like in the middle of the first semester so I wasn’t with any other freshmen” you tell him.

“why’d you break up if I may ask?” hyunjin asks carefully.

“oh we were only together for like three weeks, you can’t even call I relationship. He used me to make his hot ex jealous and cheated on me with her” you say “but hey they’re back together at least” you scoff.

“i’m sorry” he mumbles at which you look up at him.

“it’s not your fault” you chuckle.

“well, still no one should feel that way” he says “you know that you were way too good for him right?”

You nod.

“what about you? Have any exes?” you ask back.

He snickers “only one in seoul”

“why didn’t you last?”

“it was a long distance situation, she was super jealous and couldn’t trust me. which I can understand to a certain degree but everytime I went out she wanted me to facetime her and show her what kinds of people were there with me. That was just too much” he explains.

“wow” you chuckle “that doesn’t sound fun either”

Hyunjin shakes his head “nope, but hey we got rid of ‘em, didn’t we?”

“yea” you giggle “plus if I hadn’t broken up with him I would’ve probably never gone to the new years eve party”

“I guess I owe him something then” he grins as you scooch up on the bed.

“can I kiss you?” you ask after a few seconds of silence.

“hm?” hyunjins eyes almost spring out of his head.

“I don’t want to catch you off guard” you grin as you repeat his words from the night you met, sitting up.

He licks his lower lip as a grin stretches over his face as he sits up as well “do your worst”

You get up on your knees to shuffle over to him, when you get close enough hyunjin grabs one of your thighs and lifts it over his legs so you’re straddling him.

Once you sit down on his lap, your eyes lock again and you’re once again baffled as to how someone can be so god damn attractive.

His eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips expectantly, a shaky breath leaving his lips when you lean in.

Your lips connect and it feels like all the pent up energy of liking him since that night finally gets set free, sparks glowing behind your lit and his hands leaving a trail of fire where ever they go.

They squeeze at your thighs and waist, pulling you impossibly close to himself.

A whimper tears from your throat when his tongue licks at yours, he tastes like chocolate and what could only be described as him.

He moans into the kiss when you tug at the blonde locks that weren’t pulled back into the ponytail; before pulling the hair tie out of his hair to free it and finally card your fingers through all of the blonde glory.

Before you realize what’s going on, hyunjin lifts the both of you before dropping you on your back and crawling above you.

The fact that he just lifted the both of you from a sitting position as if you weigh nothing makes you feel all types of hot.

“you’re so hot holy shit” you pant as you push his long hair out of his face.

“ditto” he only grins before attaching his lips to your exposed collarbone and sucking a bruise into the skin.

“take it off” you moan as you tug on the dark blue calvin klein shirt he’s wearing.

His lips release the skin of your collarbone before sitting up to pull the shirt over his head.

If your mouth wasn’t already open from your heavy breathing, you would’ve opened it now because his body is more sculpted and toned than you had expected.

Your hand lifts to smooth over his abs, muscles flexing as he connects your lips again.

His one hand slides from your waist up to cup one of your breasts, gently palming the soft flesh.

“I know I said I wanted to take you out first but-“ he mumbles against your lips.

“you bought me a lovely dinner” you interrupt him, threading your fingers through the hair that’s falling down into his vision.

He grins, dropping a short peck to your lips before his the grin gets wiped off his face “I don’t have a condom with me”

“I’m on the pill” you let him know “I got tested before the lockdown and I haven’t been with anyone since soo…”

“yea, me too, I was tested a few months ago” he nods.

You nod back, biting your lip as you absently play with his hair.

“do you trust me?” hyunjin asks, observing your demeanour.

“yea- yea I do I’m just nervous” you smile awkwardly.

“no” he coos before kissing you “why are you nervous?”

“just haven’t been with anyone for a while” you confess.

Hyunjin nods understandingly “if you don’t want to do this we’ll stop”

“no I really want to” you look into his eyes as confidently as you can.

“okay” he smiles, planting his lips on yours again.

“can i?” his voice gives you goosebumps when he mumbles against the sensitive skin under your ear, his fingers slowy undoing the loose knot of your heart shorts.

“yes” you say when he locks eyes with you.

“I love these shorts” he softly presses a kiss to your knee, trying to calm your nerves a little, before he gently rocks your hips to pull them off of you.

You blush a little out of embarrassment but smile when you lift your hips to help him.

“cute” he whispers when he see’s your panties have a little bow on the front.

He chuckles when you hide your face in embarrassment, pulling you closer to him again by your thighs before you let him kiss you again.

“can I take this off too?” hyunjin whispers, softly pulling at the fabric of the tank top you’re wearing, at which you nod.

You are still wearing a bra when he pulls it off so you take it into your own hands and unclasp your bra.

Your nipples stiffen a little at the sudden exposure to air, as well as to hyunjin’s admiring gaze.

“fuck” he muses when palming your breasts in his big hands, gently pushing them together an running his thumbs over your nipples.

A whimper involuntarily leaves your lips when he wraps his plump lips around one of the perked up nubs and sucks gently.

“so fucking pretty, princess” you feel yourself pathetically clench around nothing at his praise.

You feel one of his hands wander downwards to provide some friction for you, he slots his lips against yours when you tentatively roll your hips against his hand.

Hyunjin feels his cock get even harder when an almost desperate moan tumbles from your lips against his. So he ads a little more pressure and starts circling your clit with two fingers, your sighs of pleasure mixing into the kiss.

“you’re so sensitive baby” he whispers as he parts his lips from yours “can I go down on you?” he grazes his lips over your chest, looking up at you seductively.

You nod as you bite your lip, hyunjin placing a few kisses on your tummy before shortly sitting up to also free you from your soaked panties.

The first stripe he licks up your slit, and how he swirls the tip of his tongue around your clit expertly sends you to heaven.

His hands are gripping your thighs to prevent you from closing your legs, your hands are tangled in his hair and the sheets.

“hyunj-fuck” you cry out when his tongue enters you.

He carefully prods one finger at your entrance “is that okay?” he asks, his voice hoarse and dripping with lust.

“yea” you sigh.

Once you adjust to one finger, he adds a second one, curling them upwards to search for that specific patch inside of you.

“yes-fuck right there” you moan when his fingers press onto the sweetest spot inside of you, tugging at his hair a little harshly. But you feel him moan against you, getting lost in your taste as he sucks your clit in between his soft lips.

Your hips buckle against his mouth as your eyes roll backwards, feeling the warmth of your orgasm approach rapidly.

“fuck fuck yes-hyunjin” you cry out just before he tipped you over the edge with his skillful ministration, your orgasm rushing up your spine and into your head, endorphins spreading everywhere.

A cry of pleasure fills the room as your thighs starts trembling with the aftershocks, clamping around his head when he drives you into overstimulation.

“oh-shit-“ you pant as you softly pushed on his forehead to get him away from your clit, his fingers still inside you, guiding you through your high.

He nibbles on your inner thigh apologetically. You can still hear your heartbeat in your ears after hyunjin removes his fingers from you and sits up, gently holding your legs together to help you calm down.

“fuck” you mewl, a soft smile tugging at his lips.

He’s wanted to do this for so long and there you are, with all of your naked glory in front of him.

While he’s daydreaming about you, you sit up and start fiddling with his sweatpants.

“you want more?” he quips, once he realises what you’re doing, leaning in to kiss you.

“mhm” you humm into the kiss affirmitavely when his hand holds you close to him by your jaw.

With a quick last peck to your lips he simultaneously shimmies the soft black sweats and his boxers off of himself.

You apparently visibly gulp at the sight of his cock because hyunjin smirks cockily “like what you see?” as he crawls above you again, his lips finding yours again and not waiting for an answer.

“I don’t know if you’ll fit” you mumble when he suckles at the soft nook of skin under your ear.

“we can stop here” he offers softly before locking eyes again.

You shake your head as you reach down to fist his length, slowly pumping it and smearing the few drops of precum around.

“no, you’re just really big” you huff with a shy smile on your lips at which hyunjin groans.

“you’re gonna be the death of me, you know?” he mutters against your lips before kissing you deeply, his hand smoothing over the slope of your waist before coming up to gently pinch at one of your nipples.

Eliciting a soft high pitched moan from you, this only spurs him on.

Rolling his tongue against yours desperately and making you taste yourself before sinfully sucking at the wet muscle.

All the while you’re stroking him with your small hand before cupping his balls, as if he didn’t already feel like he’s gonna blow his load way too early.

“please” you whine, guiding his reddened tip towards your entrance.

Hyunjin releases a shaky breath before replacing your hand with his, rutting his hips against yours a few times, coating his length in your wetness.

This already had your toes curling, suppressing a whine as you lock your legs around his waist.

“tell me if it hurts, yea?” he breathes, only pressing inside you after you nod, dropping a kiss to your swollen lips.

“fuck” he swears softly, tucking his face in the crook of your neck when he breaches your tight walls for the first time.

Your fingers tighten in his hair at the back of his neck when a subtle sting flares up inside of you.

“ah-“ your body flinches a little when he presses further inside, hyunjin notices, observing your expression before kissing your cheek and sitting up slowly.

“you’re doing so good, baby” he lifts his thumb to his lips, swiftly kitten-licking the digit before bringing it to where your bodies join.

Gently rolling your clit under his thumb to distract you from the pain.

“you look so perfect like this” his other hand travels over your stomach to gently squeeze at your breasts “all spread out for me”

You whimper, arching your back when hyunjin thrusts into you carefully; the pain slowly subsiding and the ache to be fully filled up by him growing exponentially when his cock rubs against your g spot.

“hyunjin” you moan, gripping onto his hand, which is resting atop your breast.

“yes baby, I’m here” he groans at how tight you feel once he’s balls deep inside of you, abandoning your clit to grab you by the hips for leverage.

His other hand resting on your cheek now, after a few trusts you moan “harder, please”

Hyunjin groans and fulfils your wish, at one particularly harsh thrust, you latch your lips around his pointer and middle finger, sucking at them.

“oh my god-that’s so fucking hot” he grunts through clenched teeth.

His cock dragging along your walls deliciously, filling you up to the brim as you hum around his slender fingers in pleasure.

“you like my hands that much baby?” his jaw is clenched and the grip on your waist is rough , the contrast to how sweet he was just a few minutes earlier had you clench around him furiously.

“fuck-“ he breathes when you nod to the best of your abilities, eyes wide open and holding his gaze.

You only release his fingers from in between your lips in favour for a loud high pitched moan when his other hand finds your clit again, rubbing harsh circles into the bud.

“-gonna cum-huynjin” you dig your nails into his biceps, eyes squeezing shut.

“yea?” he grits through his teeth the fingers that were previously trapped in your mouth now wrapping around your bared throat.

Not squeezing tightly, just resting there as if to show you that you’re his now.

Your thought gets confirmed when he rasps “you’re gonna date me after this, right pretty girl?”

You do look so pretty right now, tits bouncing and skin slapping because of the fast rhythm that he’s snapping his hips into yours, not to mention the subtle sheen of sweat that’s coating the both of you.

A desperate breathy chuckle tumbles from your lips “ yes-yes fuck” you feel your second orgasm creeping up on you.

“cum for me princess, all over my cock” he urges you on, his tip hammering into the sweet spot inside of you repeatedly before you crash into your second high of the night.

Your body convulses in pleasure as you call out his name mixed with profanities, your toes curling so hard you’re not sure if you can ever uncurl them again, and your nails probably leaving painful indents in his skin.

His thumb on your clit slows down until you grab his hand for him to stop, his hand around your neck grabs your free one, holding both of your hands over your head now.

“so good, baby” he mumbles, kissing your lips; mostly just breathing into each other as he rocks you through every wave of your orgasm.

Hyunjin looses himself in you not long after with a guttural moan and his eyes squeezing shut.

You coax him through it when he rests his face against your neck again, running your fingertips through his damp hair and over his broad back, muscles tensing under your gentle touch.

i“don’t fall asleep on me” you whisper sneakily, grinning when he chuckles against your neck, tickling the soft skin there.

He props himself up again to scan over your features, pushing some hair out of your face before kissing you tenderly.

“you okay?” his hand resting at your temple as he gently runs his thumb over your hairline.

“more than” you assure him, cupping his cheeks to pull his lips onto yours again.You think you can never get enough of his lips, anything about him for that matter; not when he makes you feel so cared about and safe.

“so does this mean we’re dating now?” he whispers after he has cleaned you up and tucked the both of you in bed.

“hmh” you nod your head sleepily, positioned on his bare chest.

“so I can spoon you once we fall asleep?” he asks, grin evident in his voice.

“you can spoon me but you can’t wake me up in the middle of the night if you get horny” you mumble jokingly, enjoying his fingers running down your spine as your eyelids get heavier.

“okay” he giggles softly, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head before you whisper your good nights to each other.

And as promised, he doesn’t wake you up in the middle of the night because he’s horny.

It’s you who wakes him, because after 10 months of wasted time, you have a lot of catching up to do.

-

a/n: oml this is my first ever long fic so pls pls pls give me feedback, i had so much fun writing his even though it made me feel even more single but hey :))))

allsooo i waited til after work to publish this and i just saw i hit 500 followers?!?!?! thats crazy to me omg i started this like 2 months ago and so many ppl liked my stuff so much that they decided to follow me?? so i just wanna say thank u thank u thank u for hitting the follow button even though im very unorganized and everything i do is spontaneaous and not thought out well. but hey i guess there is a reason that u followed me so thank u!

(i’d love if u sent me an ask with the first one of my writings that u stumbled across, and how <3 ...only if u want tho no pressure) 

anyways thank u so much for reading if you’ve made it this far! i hope you have a great day/ night! much love

-aj

(this is a work of fiction and does not represent the real actions of stray kids or hwang hyunjin)

[zuffer-weird-girl]

There was a anon asking for a sweet moment on my Chisaki Family au... how could I refuse something like that? Also btw I really dont know if out there is still snow but this scenario just begged for it so Im sorry have a bit of fluffy my fellas

He groaned internally when he heard two pairs of feet running down the halls.... even despite his daughter only having almost one year, the kid was a fast learner just like her older brother and himself.

It was early still... those brats... curse him for having a light sleep... he just wanted to forget his responsibilities for one day... is that too much to ask?

He burried his nose on your hair, sighing in bliss at receiving the warm of your body, his nose was almost frozen if it wasn't for his angel.

The best part is that he knew you had taken a shower before bed, a proper one since he was in the same as well...

You groaned at the sudden contact with his cold hands directly on your skin and his nose on the back of your neck.

"Asshole... you're cold..." you mumbled from your sleep receiving a slap on your bum while you yelped gigglingon your pillow.

"Shut it. Is not my fault that you're a human heater."

"There are people who has fire quirks though-"

"Dont ruin my morning angel." He growled in irritation but still didn't got even a inch apart from you.

"When did it get so cold?" You mumbled before feeling the sleep come back to you again.

"I will buy better sheets... these one are clearly shit." He smirked in your hair at the surprised gasp that left your lips.

You squirmed on his embrace to look up at him with a disbelieved face but smilling no less.

"Who are you? My husband don't just swear out of no where."

"Is still morning I have the rights on being at least more... flexible."

"Is still Kai Chisaki swearing though."

He went to answer back with a small smartass coment of his if it wasn't for the quiet hushes of his son and his dad quiet baby giggles.

You both sighed, you loved those deviants bjt quality time between you both was always appreciated.

"Maybe if we pretend that we are asleep they will give us some more time?" You suggested before Chisaki glared at you and closed his eyes again, pinching a bit on your side for you to do the same thing.

He heard the door creaking open and conttolled his urge to scoff and tsk at his children actions, still pretending to be deep asleep with his wife.

Which he really wanted actually...

He felt the bed shift for a momeng before the sheets seemed to tremble for a bit as a tiny body crawled towards the middle of both of you.

"No Kin, you won't wake up them in this way!" Kaito's whispered at his sister before wiggling a bit to maintain his balance "Watch me! This will make both literally jump out of there!"

"No it won't, and I will suggest for you to not even dare to jump on this bed brat." He zaid in irritation bearing his son yelp and feeling that he had falled to his back but thankfully still on the bed.

He scoffed while you giggled, getting up and crawling your younger baby that was already making grabby hands at you.

"Good morning Kin and Kaito..." you said still sleepy, geunting at the forcw that your son used to give you a hug.

"Didn't you brats have anything better to do?" Chisaki growled while picking his gloves and mask from his nightstand "Like brush your teeth or other things that I teached you both?"

"Already done daddy. You and Mommy that just spend too much in bed." Kaito said monoustly staring up at his father whose glared down at him.

"Is five in the morning Kaito..." he linched the bridge of his covered nose when his son merely shrugged.

What a way to start the day...

"But I woke up first because its snowing outside!"

"Snowing?" You and your husband said in union, clearly confused before Kin made a happy noise while squiming out of your embrace to follow her big brother, whose was telling you and Chisaki by hand gestures to follow him.

"Well..." you got up and flinched the slightest at feeling the cold ground on your bare feet "You're coming?"

Chisaki arched a eyebrow at you before getting up to both of you follow your energetic son and daughter.

"You brat don't even got outside, you just pretended is snowing... so what is so important?"

The kid look up at him before picking Kin carefully in his arms.

"Is Kin's first snow! And I'm sure there is outside, because tonight it was really cold!"

"He kinda has a point there." You giggled while your husband scoffed.

"Is just snow for God's sake."

"Aw, is her first snow Kai! Kaito was the same thing, didn't you remember the joy on those serious baby's eyes that still are way too similiar with yours?"

"He has your eye color. Stop talking nonsense. Kids are fascinated by anything, even if is not something that impressing or simply ridiculous." You pouted at him playfully and he rolled his eyes at your actions.

"Open open!" Kaito gleamed at the japanese door for both of you open to the yard.

Kai sighed in irritation before pushing one side while you pushed the other, getting surprised at seing the yard completely white with snow.

"Ha! Told you!" Kaito pointed a fi ger towards his father, dodging when his gloved hand went to slap away.

"Pointing is rude brat."

"Whatever. Come on Kin!" Kaito beamed while pushing his sister onto the snow, Kai's muscled tensing while his golden eyes darkened.

"Kaito Chisaki both of you will get a cold, get back inside right now and put something at least!"

You giggled at seing both of your children smiles, Kin golden eyes widening at her brother when he picked a small amouth of snow fo show her closerly, poking the point of her nose with it, emmiting the most cute yelps and giggles from the girl while her brother laighed along.

"That's it. Kaito you-" he widened his eyes in disbelief at seing you stepling in on the snow as well, actually throwing yourself at your children and hugging them closely while laughing aling with them.

Kai's eye twitched in anger and disbelief at the scene before he sighed in pjre annoyance and turned his back to get inside to at least pick the coats.

Well... that was the plan before he frooze at the sudden cold and rather hard hit on his back.

He knew exactly what was that, and slowly tuned his head a bit to send a one side eye death glare at the three angels faces.

"Who?" He said in a dark tone of voice. Deadpanning internationally at seing that Kaito pointed at his sister, while Kin had pointed to Kaito... you just stayed still with that infuriatingand adorable smile, looking up at him.

He slowly turned to be at least glaring with both eyes at the three of them. You gulped before getting up, already knowing that you might will have tto calm down your husband.

"Kai... hon calm down" you said gently before you dodged a snowball that you swore tbat you didn't even saw Chisaki making it!

Although that snowball hitted Kaito straight on the face.

"Strike." Your husband said monoustly while you gasped his name out loud in disbelief.

"NOT FAIR!" the kid yelled while his sister errupted in giggles.

You runned towards the inside of your home with everyone coats, smilling devilish at seing your husband still debating with Kaito, the back of his neck in full view to you.

"How many times will I have to say it that if you did the first move than I get the rights o- (Y/N)!" He shouted your name in anger while flinching away from your colds hands at his neck.

You handed the coaches to your children before showing your husband the timer on your cellphone.

"A little bet than my devil? 10 minutes of a small war?" He grabbed his coat and zipped up before placimg your phone near the exit of the door.

"I won't say anything besides that-" You tikted your head in confusion before you saw your husband crounching down again and throing a snowball at his son... poor thing didn't dodged.

"That brat is going down."

"Alright then." You threw a snowball at him, running away while laughing at his disbelieved face.

"(Y/N) Chisaki you will pay for this." He growled before crounching down on the ground and placing both of his now bare hands, smirking devilish at seing the wave of snow coming in your direction.

He got distracted though when his son and daughter threw weakly two snowballs at him.

"Alright then. The three of you will pay for this." He said monoustly but still hated that fact that he couldn't stop smilling underneath his mask.

Bonus:

"I can't believe what my eyes are seing." Pops chuckled lowly at seing Chisaki catching you by the waist while turning you around in the snow, cleary chuckling along with your laughter as his grandson carried his grand daughter by a pig bag ride.

He smiled genuinely at seing the look of pure adoration and happiness on his sucessor face when he looked down at you, scrunching up your nose and pouting at the huge amount of snow he had just throw it on your head and face.

It was still a miracle to see that Chisaki was... like he is today. He was always worried about Kai's behaviour, sure, the feeling of paying him back for taking him in and the violence was still there... but the worst he owned to you for simply had drifted away.

He closed the door with a chuckle before making his way to the kitchen, hearing the whines of the kids when a cellphone ring went off.

"Maybe a bit of tea for the four of them would be nice on this cold."

[scribeofmorpheus]

Miss Midnight (Steve Harrington x Vampire!Reader)

For the SPOOKTOBER 2018 Competition

Requested by @electroma89 : This is my Halloween themed request! I was thinking on a Steve Harrington x vampire!reader with prompts 118 and 155. Reader was trying to hide being a vampire (only dates at night, "I'm not really hungry", etc.) from Steve but he discovers her on Halloween night.

MasterList

Words: 4072 

Warnings: Fluff and pining?? Sadly, despite the raunchy gif its quite tame!

A/N: Okay, turns out, for all my bashing of the mishandling of the vampire genre in YA books I’ve read, I am, in fact, equally terrible at writing for a vampire character. So I humbly offer this weird fic as penance for all the years I’ve spent shit-talking YA Vamp Books! Prompts in Bold-Italics. I tweaked one of the prompts btw!

Songs: Monster Mash and Spooky Movies

The night was young. You had decided to venture out into town -being bored and hungry were your two life staples at this point. First, you would hunt, the woods in Hawkins were surprisingly well stocked with adequate prey when there were no derelicts loitering about in dark alleys. Once sated, you would find something to chase the boredom away, maybe go to the arcade if it was still open.

While strolling through town, most of the shops were closed except for one, the local diner. You weren't hungry, not anymore and certainly not for human food, but you were bored and there was obviously going to be a jukebox or an arcade game stashed in the corner somewhere. You had a few quarters to spare so you walked over. In the window, a sign read: "NIGHT Shift Staff Needed @ Hawkins Movie Drive-Thru"

You laughed at how much emphasis was put into the word 'Night'.

When you walked through the diner's doors, your appearance no doubt drew the attention of the few strangling locals sipping down iced cokes and eating cherry pie. You could smell everything in the diner. From the sugary sweet strawberry shakes being prepared behind the island to the musky leather of the Greaser sat in the back, devouring a meaty cheeseburger. It was overwhelming and a little strange. This was one of the reasons you tried to avoid humans. Unless it was Halloween. Then you loved being around oblivious mortals and their unexplainable fascination with the things that went bump in the night.

You grinned, finding subtle irony in the fact most of the people were judging you based on your proclivity for wearing leather, studs and biker boots, and not the fact you actually were one of those creatures that went bump in the night!

You ordered a vanilla shake as an excuse to seem like you belonged, walked over to the Jukebox and played Spooky Movies before moving onto the arcade game plugged into the wall in a dark corner.

While you wracked up quite the high score, your keen senses picked up a new scent. You turned to see who it was. A young man of average stature, impeccable hair and a swoon worthy smile walked in. His hair damp from the rain that you hadn't realised had begun to pour. He racked a hand through his long-ish hair and walked over to the counter with a goofy smile, shrugging off his soaked letterman jacket.

"I'll have the usual!" He smiled and placed a few coins on the counter. Something about him intrigued you. Maybe it was his smile, maybe it was the sound of his voice… or maybe you just found that face of his a little too dashing. You took a slow slurp of your shake, forgetting that you hated its hefty dairy consistency. Your nose crinkled and you made a disgusted sound from all the cold sugar sliding down your gullet. When you put your shake down, you laughed at your own silliness and noticed that the handsome boy from the other end of the island was looking at you with an interested gaze. Feeling a bit cheeky, you winked at him before turning back to your game, finally breaking the high score.

When you sauntered out of the diner like someone who had just slain a dragon, you made sure to give the handsome boy one more cheeky wink before giggling mischievously as you walked into the pouring rain -doing a little dance to the song that was now firmly stuck in your head. Your ears picked up the low chuckle of the boy from inside the diner.

Two Weeks Later

"Would you like butter or salted popcorn with your corndog?" you asked the movie-going dates in front of you. Your eyes drooping and voice lifeless from boredom. The two dates eyed you unpleasantly.

"N-no popcorn, just--" He looked around the confection booth, "A bag of gummy worms." He pulled out his wallet.

When they got their order, you heard his date whisper in his ear when she thought you were out of earshot, "Jeez, would it kill her to smile a little?" When she turned around to look at you, you turned on the cringiest grin you could manage to pull, your vampire fangs fully extended. She gasped in shock and then rolled her eyes, "Jesus, I'll never understand people who wear Halloween costumes before Halloween!"

You laughed. As more and more people parked their cars into the Drive-Thru, you began to fill space by eavesdropping on all the dates that seemed to be going poorly. Strictly for entertainment purposes, of course.

In a blue Cadillac, an older married couple sat silently, the tension between them almost palpable.

"I still can't believe you, Mark!" The wife whisper shouted with a livid expression. The man sighed, "I swear I didn't mean to do it. It just happened so quickly. I--"

The wide held up a single finger and took a slow breath.

"Ooh, an affair?" You guessed allowed.

"You knocked my Father out of his fishing boat!" The wife said with a serious face.

You placed your hand on your mouth to withhold your snort of laughter.

"I told you fishing wouldn't be a good idea, honey!" The husband protested.

"He can't swim!"

"Then why does he have a fishing boat?"

The couple folded their arms and stared at the screen right as a particularly gory scene played out.

You turned your gaze to another couple, younger and not as tense. The young blond sat in the front waved giddily at her troupe of spunky friends who were pretending not to be spying on her and her date. You could just about make out the smell of her lip-gloss: cherry-red.

"So," Her date spoke, his voice familiar. "When I asked you on a date, I didn't actually think I'd be taking all five of your friends out too." He laughed nervously.

"What?" She asked confused. Her date pointed at the throng of girls sat on a stack of hey. Her eyes went wide from embarrassment. "Yeah… Well, you can just pretend to not see them."

"Right..." He said sheepishly, looking at the group of girls staring at him and his date. "Easy."

"Awkward," you commented.

"So, what do you do?"

"I uh, work at Scoops Ahoy," he said.

"You work at the mall?" She asked while twirling a strand of hair. Her expression was visibly disappointed. "I don't get it. Aren't your parents like… rich or something?"

"My parents, yeah." He said flatly. After a beat of silence, he asked: "So… you're a senior?"

The blond nodded enthusiastically, "Soon to be Prom Queen with a 3.8GPA and bound for Penn State! What about you? Future plans?"

"I- Uh… I'm taking life as it comes." He said.

"Ooh, Little Miss Perfect does not like that answer," you giggled.

"So…you aren't in college, you work at the mall… What do you do with your free time?" She asked, not at all thrilled by any of her date’s answers so far.

"I babysit. Mostly."

"Babysit?"

"Oooh, she really didn't like that answer!" You rested your chin on your hands, watching with eager eyes unapologetically.

He nodded. He drummed his fingers against his steering wheel then he turned to his date, visibly claustrophobic and asked: "Want any snacks?" His date nodded a little too enthusiastically and he was all too happy to comply, he practically threw himself out of his car and jogged to the concession stand.

When the familiar boy got to the stand, his face lit up with recognition. A smirk on his lips. "Miss Midnight." He said absentmindedly.

You cocked your head to the side playfully, "I'll be honest, most people just ask for a coke and a box of goobers." You teased. He blushed.

"The high score, at the diner. It's you, isn't it?"

You leaned in close, "Don't tell anyone. I have a reputation to keep."

"As what?"

"The town introvert and resident trouble maker," you smirked. "Trouble in paradise?" You wiggled your eyebrows to the sight of his date pouting with her arms folded around her chest.

He shuffled awkwardly from one foot to the next, "Yeah, you could say that. I think she's just having her first disappointing date." He said in a low voice.

"Hey, don't worry about Little Miss Perfect. Something tells me she'll get over it. Besides, if you asked me, you're the lucky one. She seems like the kinda girl who would draft up a twenty-year life plan after a successful first date!"

He found some comfort in your words, "I think you're right! I'm Harrington. Err, Steve. Steve Harrington's the full name and apparently, I can't stop making an ass of myself tonight." His words fumbled as his cheeks reddened. You found it cute.

"It's nice to finally put a name to the face, Harrington, Steve. The name's Y/N." You said smoothly.

Steve rubbed his neck shyly, "Right. I guess I’ll see you around." He began back towards his car.

"Hey, Harrington, Steve!" You shouted. He looked back with a curious expression. You tossed him two cans of Coke, one after another. He looked at you with an arched eyebrow.

"Don't wanna go back to your date empty handed, now do ya?" You gave him your signature wink. He smiled and jostled one can about.

"Thanks. I owe you."

"I'll hold you to that!" You teased, flashing you fangs without thinking about it. Steve halted for a moment but then decided that whatever it was he saw, it wasn't important.

You watched as Steve juggled the cans about until one clumsily fell out of his hands. He made sure to place that one under his arm, probably as a way to tell which one was most likely to fizz when opened.

"Took you long enough. What did you get?" She asked. Steve gave her an apologetic shrug as he manoeuvred into the car, somehow managing to mix up the cans.

He held out a can of Coke.

"Wrong can Harrington," You noted as you watched on.

His date looked at it unamused. "It's not even diet," she mumbled to herself. When she popped open the can, she was immediately met by angry fizz spraying all over her cashmere pullover. Steve's face went pale with horror, his mouth hanging low in a half moon shape as his eyes threatened to pop out of their sockets. His date let out a high pitched shriek in protest, and like the ancient art of yodelling, all five of her spying friends made the exact same noise in response. Steve had to pretend to cough so as to not let her find out he almost laughed.

***

Steve had turned into a regular aficionado of the cheesy slasher horror film and you guessed it wasn't by choice. He'd been spending more and more time with you. And the longer you were near him, the more you began to find his charm even more contagious. You liked being around him, you liked how he made you feel when he'd laugh or smile with you. If your heart wasn't dead you'd swear that on some days when he got close enough to you, or when his hand grazed your skin, it would threaten to start beating once more.

On this particular weekend (your favourite weekend since it was actually Halloween) Steve had used the excuse of babysitting as a reason to come by again -even though you both knew the monster film being screened wasn't intended for kids. You and Steve talked about nothing and everything, cracking jokes and being all handsy. To prying eyes, you most likely looked like a couple. In this instance, you were talking about what either of you did during the day.

"It's not like you're allergic to sunlight, Y/N!" Steve jabbed.

"Oh big deal Harrington, so I don't enjoy tanning and going to the beach," You replied. "It's not that uncommon for people to dislike Summer time!"

“Whatever,” he rolled his eyes childishly before offering you some of his popcorn.

“No thanks, I’m not really hungry.” You lied.

"Okay, but think about it. I've never once, not once, seen--"

"Steve! Shhh!" Lucas placed his finger on his mouth, giving Steve a look. "We're trying to watch the movie!"

Steve rolled his eyes and threw a handful of popcorn at the group of kids. "Why don't you just go sit closer?" He asked with a shake of his head. He gave you an apologetic look, "Sorry, as soon as I mentioned the Drive-Thru, they all just tagged along. I had no say whatsoever even though they weren't invited!" He made sure to shout that last bit so they could all hear. Dustin turned around and gave him a big goofy smile and two appreciative thumbs up.

"But seriously, how long have we known each other?" Steve asked as he leaned on the hood of his car as though it were a La-Z-Boy. You eyed his frame from the corner of your eye, enjoying how laid back and open he was right now. Before you could answer, one of the kids he brought with whipped around.

You let out a dark rumble, "Hmmm… Let me think," you pursed your lips and placed a finger under your lower lip. You noticed Steve's eyes flicker towards them with a look of longing before they darted back to the screen, a flush of colour spreading along his nape. You smiled. "Films at this very sophisticated establishment screen for two weeks, and we officially met during the first week of the Great Slasher Marathon. So that makes it-" You mouthed out counting the days to sell your performance. "Ah, yes! Three weeks and two days." You said with a beaming smile.

"Careful, all that math might just overheat your brain," Steve teased, touching your forehead softly with a single digit. You looked up at his finger, paused and then jumped at him with playful chomping noises as you pretended to try and bite his hand away. His hand recoiled and he laughed at your quirkiness before he popped a peanut into his mouth.

"Right, what was I-- Yeah! Three weeks and two days and I've never once seen you out during the day!" He said.

"But Harrington, isn't it the very air of mystery that drew you to me?" You batted your eyelashes flirtatiously, turning your head to the side.

"Nah," he cradled his neck in his laced fingers, looking at the screen with a breezy look. "It was the free Coke's." You punched his side lightly and he grabbed both his sides dramatically.

"Ow!" He chuckled. His fingers brushing against your cold hands. "Are you cold? Your fingers are freezing." He asked with concern.

"A side effect of being immortal," you jested half-heartedly. Steve rose his brows at you. When the silence dragged for too long you smiled at him menacingly and dawned on the thickest, most stereotypical Dracula accent you could, "Muahahaha, foolish mortal. You have fallen into my trap! Now whimper before the immortal Countess Y/N! Or be banished to the concession stand, where thou shalt bring forth snacks for the little critters you hath taken on to babysit!" You pointed a straw like some ancient stave towards the group of kids Steve had dragged along with him.

"You are singlehandedly the second weirdest girl I've ever met, you know that?" He said in soft awe.

You blushed, "That better be a term of endearment, Harrington!" You scolded.

"Oh, believe me! It definitely is..." He looked into your eyes for an extended amount of time. The heat in his eyes and the soft opening of his mouth made your throat ache, and suddenly you were all too aware of just how much you hungered for Steve Harrington. And the hunger wasn't entirely related to the crunching of your empty stomach.

With more haste than you intended, you snapped your face away from Steve's and focused on the screen. Steve shifted subconsciously, suddenly going more rigid. You shook your head, your raven hair bouncing about, before clearing your throat. "How about I get those snacks."

"I can come with if you-"

"Stay and watch the movie. I'm pretty sure I've mastered the whole script of this one. Besides, I get an employee discount." You tried to put on your most winning smile to make sure Steve didn't feel like he was to blame for your weird behaviour. From the way his shoulders drooped at you turning him down, you weren't successful on that front.

You stood in line at the concession stand tapping your feet in exasperation. You were hungry but more than that you were antsy. Suddenly, a jock who was standing around with his drunk buddies made catcalls at you. His wolf whistle not at all subtle.

"Hello, Dolly!" He slurred, stumbling towards you -his breath holding the stale notes of cheap beer. You rolled your eyes. "Hey now, don't be like dat. Come on, sthmile for me..." He motioned to grab your ass when, out of the drunk jocks blindside, an arm grabbed him by the shoulder and spun him around followed by the sound of a fist connecting to an open jaw.

"Get your hands off my girl!" Steve declared.

"Nobody shaid she was taken, man!" The jock protested. Then one of his friends scurried to try and tackle Steve, but your heightened senses picked up on this and you simply stuck your foot out to trip him. He crashed into the dusty ground, grazing his chin.

The boys looked at you with open mouths.

"Is this my cue to declare that ‘nobody touches my Harrington?’" You teased with a sly wink.

Steve shrugged, "That would be nice actually."

You took an instinctive step towards Steve, and he seemed to mirror your actions, but before you could reach him, another jock blindsided him and managed to tackle him.

As Steve wrestled with the musclier jock, you walked over to a group of bystanders who came to watch the commotion, grabbed a soda from one of them and marched over to the fight. You pulled the plastic lid off the paper cup and poured ice cold soda all over the jock -and Steve in the process. Both shrivelled from the cold touch of the ice and broke away from each other.

"Nobody touched my Harrington!" You said with serious eyes before helping Steve up.

When the crowd dissipated, you laced your fingers into his. "So… Is this the customary tradition one performs when asking a girl out?"

Steve squeezed your fingers, "Only if it worked."

"It did," you replied before closing the distance between you and kissing him passionately. Behind you, you heard the kids make kissy noises and the occasional 'Eeww'.

When your lips broke apart, the two of you laughed in glee as Steve wrapped his arms around you. As he walked you back to the car you couldn't help but notice the smell of blood on the ground where the jock scrapped his chin become more and more enticing. You swallowed hard, trying not to focus on Steve's neck pulsing with more vigour from the fight.

Midway through the movie, you noticed the drunk jock from before stumble into a dark corner behind the concession building. "I'll be right back," you told Steve, who was half asleep nuzzled in the crook of your neck.

***

When Steve had noticed you'd been gone for much longer than he anticipated, he got a little anxious. His hands kept fidgeting about, his mind racing back to the image of that asshole jock trying to grab your ass. When he couldn't talk himself down anymore, Steve went looking for you. After searching behind several cars and hey stacks, he finally found you, but he was not at all prepared for what he saw. You, standing over the drunk jock from before, fangs extend and bloody with a look of pure elation on your face. Steve's jaw all but fell to the ground as he flung his arms in the air in exasperation.

 ***

"Steve?" You asked, caught off guard and feeling the life drain from your body -a feeling that held more irony than you liked. You glanced down at the unconscious jock at your feet and then back to a nervous Steve. You noticed him pacing about, hands on his hips. The silence was killing you.

"Steve, I can explain-" you started, your eyes shining with sadness from the eventual panic and fear he'd undoubtedly have towards you now.

Steve held up his finger and wiggled it around, "You know, I've kept up with a lot. Demogorgon’s, demo-dogs, a kid with magic powers, literally almost getting eaten alive, but… but Vampires? Can't this stupid upside-down place cut me some slack?" He sounded like a grumpy old man who was addressing a group of annoying kids that would steal his newspaper every morning.

"Okay, I guess this is exactly what you think it is..." You walked towards him. He took a step back, pointing at the jock with crinkled eyebrows.

"Is he dead?"

"No. No! Of course not. I- I usually don't… He was just so drunk, and an asshole- besides, he won't remember anything tomorrow." Your voice came out shaky. “Are you mad at me?”

 Steve nodded his head repeatedly, "Okay. Good, good." He then kept quiet for a long minute. "My girlfriend is a vampire..." he whispered in bewilderment.

”A vampire?" He questioned the universe, looking up at the sky like it held the answers. "What else are you going to throw at me? Werewolves?"

"Did you say… girlfriend?" Your cheeks blushed.  

Steve looked at you as if you said something offensive, "That is what you take away from all this?"

You shrugged, "A girl's gotta have priorities."

Steve laughed nervously before he continued to pace, his mind in deep thought.

You wiped the blood off your lips with your sleeve, taking a slow step forward. This time Steve didn't recline away from you. You felt a glimmer of hope. "Steve, talk to me." You whispered. "Please," you pleaded.

He looked wounded by the way your voice quivered just then and instantly he strode over held you close. After two or three breaths, he let you go again.

"Is this… a permanent condition?" He asked.

"So far," you said playfully.

"Don't joke."

"Sorry," you bit your lips and rose your shoulders above your neck with a pout. You noticed a small smile try and force its way onto his face.

"And… is this," he waved in distaste at the passed out jock, "eating of people also a permanent thing? Because it may put a dampener on any future family dinners where you're the guest and we're the three-course meal."

You held back a laugh, "It doesn't have to be."

Steve let out a breath of air, "Aww, good because if you ate my Mom we'd have some serious baggage!"  

You looked at him in surprise, searching his eyes. "Are you not afraid of me? How are you so… okay with all this?"

"If I told you half of what I go through… Half! You'd understand why." He made a 'mind blown' gesture with his hands. "Besides, you're the only non-boring person in this town… And now it makes sense why."

"Does that mean we're okay?"

"That depends," Steve placed his hands on either side of yours. "Were you sent here to do some evil bidding by some nightmare monster that exists in a parallel dimension called the Upside-Down?"

You furrowed your brows, unsure if he was being serious or not. "No?"

He squinted his eyes at your uncertainty. You cleared your throat and spoke again, "I mean, no! Certainly not."

Steve wrapped his arms around you, relief in his voice, "Good because I don't want to ask Eleven to vanquish my new girlfriend."

He leaned in, about to kiss you when he remembered where your fangs had been a few minutes prior. He gave you an odd look, "Maybe we should make it a rule that we only kiss after a thorough brushing after your… meals."

You giggled into his chest, "Deal!"

As Steve walked you back to the car, arm placed protectively around you, you asked: "What's an Upside-Down?"

Steve just sighed and let out an annoyed moan, "Oh, don't get me started!"

***

Note: This fic just kept getting out of hand, it just kept growing longer and longer... I may do a sequel, but no promises. Enjoy and sorry for the wait!

[hexalene]

So I just read one of your flower shop posts (the one about aloe vera girl, mason jar masterpiece bouquet dad, and the orchid lady) and it's the kind of aww I need in my life. Could you share some more?

٩(◦`꒳´◦)۶ Can do!So we (me + boss) call this girl “The Artist”

She appeared in our shop maybe…two/three-ish?? years ago.She’s pretty young, maybe now 16 or 17. Her mom appears to work in the hospital down the street, so we think she comes here to wait out MamaArtist’s shift. She’s a small, shy type, with long brown hair and a bright yellow cardigan that she kinda tries to hide in. She has a sort of “routine” when she shows up. She’ll show up in the far end of the store, peek around the orchids, and if you don’t glance over at her, come to stare longingly at the roses. She’ll then realize there are people around and scatter to the café tables. After building a fort of books, she will carefully sneak a sketchbook out and start drawing. Few hours later, MamaArtist shows up and they leave. SO one day, she’s staring at the roses, and I happen to have one that breaks off and is too short to sell, so I smile and hand it to her. “Take it, it’s free.”She just STARES at me, and points at it and says, “Free?”I nod, “Yup!” and she’s SO HAPPY!! She starts talking to me really fast, and I realize why she’s so quiet– She doesn’t speak a lot of English!And….ugh….now I’m embarrassed to admit this, but while I recognize that what she’s speaking is Spanish, I can’t speak Spanish beyond like… drunk kindergartener. In present tense. On alternate tuesdays with mild improvements if I’ve been attempting to read the Spanish sides of the warning labels on chemical bottles. She realizes quickly that I am a deer-in-the-headlights and starts to run off, but I manage to scrape together enough itty-bitty BROKEN ASS Spanish to make her laugh and diffuse things, kinda. I get from her that she loves roses, but they’re too expensive for her art. (btw my boss is behind her with the waterboy, ABSOLUTELY THRILLED that she’s talking to me, because The Mystery Of The Yellow Cardigan Customer is one that has haunted us for a few months now.)ANYWAY, I love art, so I try to ask about her art, but, : ( She can’t find the words for it, and I can’t understand her explanation in Spanish, and IT WAS TOTALLY NOT HER FAULT but she got embarrassed and thanked me profusely for the flower and broke the sound barrier to escape. Boss swoops in for the down low, and….I haven’t really detailed the conversation I had with this girl here, because it is LONG and kiiiiiinda embarrassing and I tried to type it out but i fell like it came off waaaay too one-sided in my favor because I couldn’t accurately recall the Spanish she was speaking. I just felt like it wasn’t fair, you know? She was shy, but when speaking about her art, her voice was confident and she clearly knew what she was talking about, so yeah. I’m also speaking with some hindsight right now, because I know where this goes, and what she must have been trying to say, but at the time I was beyond confused and embarrassed. Boss hears me out and then sort of hums. She grabs one of the bouquets I’ve set aside for an arrangement and snaps off two of the buds. Then she marches over to the girl’s table and sits down across from her. She probably gave the girl the roses, and used the power of being a sweet, gentle older lady to coax out the girl’s story, but there’s a wall in between us and the café and I didn’t want the girl to feel….more….cornered, ha ha. So I kept doing my job.GUYS. I may have hinted at it with “The Artist” but this teenage girl is AN ARTIST.Boss comes back, this time armed with photos and GUYS. This girl is using the petals of flowers to VERY DELICATELY create watercolor and petal collages of high fashion dress concepts! I’m not going to post the photos, and i hope it’s obvious why, but THEY’RE BEAUTIFUL and WAYYY beyond what you’d expect from a high schooler. (Okay, so I paused and tried to google for something similar, and I can’t really find anything, but google “petal dress watercolor” and look at the fourth result which is like…a simple outline of a woman with a dress made of rose petals and its KINDA similar? But this girl is making pieces way more detailed and large scale and conceptual. The watercolor she’s painting is also more realistic.) So The Artist has been using flowers she cant find, or cheaper ones she can afford. One of the paintings (probably about a 9x12) is clearly crafted out of GOD KNOWS HOW MANY little yellow DANDELION petals, and seems to be of Belle from Beauty and the Beast? Another one is a flow-y dancer in Portulaca petals she has totally been snagging from our store displays and tbh ROCK ON girl. I could go on and on, but THIS is what she’s been up to in our café behind those books!!!! ART.I’m kinda stunned, because DAMN, she’s like 15 (at the time this happened) and I wish I’d had that skill at 15 holy shit. Boss flips through the photos, and shows me the sketch this girl has JUST STARTED for the rose petals I gave her, and its a series of tiny little ballerinas and AAAHHH GUYS SHE’S SO GOOD.  Swear to god the second I discover her online I’m promoting the shit out of her.So here we are, ooooohhing and aaaaahhhing over these photos when Boss gets this super serious look on her face. She stares at me, grabs one of the BRAND NEW rose bouquets– a really big, really pretty set of fire roses (uh, yellow roses that fade into orange and then red at the tips) then looks around the store for our managers and shrugs.She proceeds to slam the guillotine down just underneath the heads with the most deadass “oops” I have ever heard. She grabs one of our paper bags, and we quickly shove all of the rose heads into the bag. She runs off.I peek around the corner just in time to see Boss hand the bag over like a sack of cocaine, shoving them behind the girl’s books, patting her on the shoulder, and running off. I’m laughing really quietly but really hard, because The Artist looks SO CONFUSED and baffled. Boss is giggling and grinning, and we don’t even try to hide when The Artist opens the bag and sees what’s inside. guys, I felt super bad for a second because she started to cry. Like, actually cry. She rushes over and tries to give it back, but we just insisted it was hers. My Boss’ only price? She had to come and show us the finished pieces. Which she did. And has, since we’ve been sneaking her bags of broken flowers to play with while her mom works. We’ve seen her less as she’s gotten older, but she texts Boss pictures every once in a while of her art, and I HOPE TO GOD she’s entering contests because she has some serious talent.

[texanredrose]

Did You Know?

-Today, 0317- (214) 13-170-9: Did you know that "hamburger" is two words combined, but it's not "ham" and "burger", but "hamburg" and "er"? No idea what "er" means, though. Or “Hamburg” really. English is weird. You: Who are you and how did you get this number? (214) 13-170-9: Shit, is this not Blake? You: No. I am not Blake. (214) 13-170-9: Ah fuck, sorry, must've fat fingered the number! You: It's four in the morning here. (214) 13-170-9: Oh, cool, same timezone. Still, sorry about that. You: It's fine. You: And, for the record, -er is an Atlesian suffix that roughly means "from" and Hamburg is a city in Atlas. "Hamburger" means, quite literally, "from Hamburg". You: I grew up not too far from there. (214) 13-170-9: Oh, that's so cool! My name's Yang! You: Noted. Now, may I return to slumber or do you have any other useless trivia to impart upon me? (214) 13-170-9: Right, sorry! Again! (214) 13-170-9: Night! Sweet dreams!

-Today, 1034- You: Now that it’s a somewhat respectable hour, I’d like to apologize for being curt last night.  (214) 13-170-9: Hey, I get it! I’d be a little cranky if someone woke me up, too. (214) 13-170-9: Really, no harm, no foul. (214) 13-170-9: But if you’re ever in need of useless trivia, I’m here! You: That was... harsh of me. (214) 13-170-9: I mean, you’re not exactly wrong. Most of this stuff isn’t really that useful. But it can be food for thought or even a little funny! Like, did you know the electric chair was invented by a dentist? Sounds weirdly appropriate, doesn’t it? (214) 13-170-9: Guess he got his patients confused with chickens; THOSE are the ones where you pull out all the white things and THEN fry ‘em. You: That was dark. You: I’ll admit it made me laugh out loud, but still dark. (214) 13-170-9: Okay, look, I work with what material’s available to me, and that was the first one that popped into my head. (214) 13-170-9: Also, did you really type out ‘laugh out loud’? lol, really? You: What do you have against properly spelling out words? (214) 13-170-9: Okay, you know what, in hindsight, you’re right. It just caught me off guard. Most people use abbreviations. (214) 13-170-9: Or emojis. You: I honestly hate the sight of that stupid word. You: Also, I spend all day trapped in an alphabet soup hell. I don’t need more abbreviations, thank you. (214) 13-170-9: But they make things so much quicker! btw, ofc I could spell it all out, but rn I’m using one hand, other’s occupied. (214) 13-170-9: I swear that’s not as dirty as it sounds. You: At EOD, I meet with my POC for a SITREP, then CM to the DFAC. (214) 13-170-9: I respectfully withdraw my argument, have a good day.

-Today, 1425- (214) 13-170-9: Um. I might be overstepping here and maybe you’re busy but either way I hope I didn’t upset you or insult you earlier. You: You said “have a good day”; I assumed that was the end of the conversation. (214) 13-170-9: Do you even meme?! You: I realize I implied and now am outright stating that English isn’t my primary language but you don’t have to make up words. (214) 13-170-9: Oml have you never seen a meme before? Hold on. (214) 13-170-9: [MyHairIsABird.jpeg][open][save] You: What.The. Fuck. (214) 13-170-9: You’ve never seen that before? You: I have and am now wondering why I allowed myself to be teleported back a decade. You: At least. It’s probably closer to two at this point. (214) 13-170-9: That’s a meme. It’s short for mimetic mutation I think? Where a joke gets so far removed from the source that it loses all connection but it’s still somehow funny? You: No. (214) 13-170-9: Look, I’ve never had to explain a meme before! You: I’m not saying “no” to your explanation; I’m saying “no” to that meme, as you call it. (214) 13-170-9: That’s what it’s called! You: Of course it is. (214) 13-170-9: Okay, fine, how about this one? (214) 13-170-9: [loss.jpeg][open][save] You: Now you’re tormenting me. You: Wait. I recognize this format. You: This is the stupid joke the idiots I call my subordinates are giggling about like school children? You: It’s not even a joke. This is a serious matter. (214) 13-170-9: I mean, I agree, I’m not sure how it became a joke but it did? (214) 13-170-9: I swear I’m not as dark as I’ve been sounding. (214) 13-170-9: Like, this whole conversation is kinda atypical for me, I swear. You: You’re putting in a lot of effort to convince a stranger that you’re not exactly as you’ve been acting. (214) 13-170-9: Well, you got me there. Sorry.

-Today, 1832- You: You’ve gone quiet. I suppose both of your hands were required? (214) 13-170-9: I just figured you probably had a point and I should just stop digging a bigger hole for myself. You: You don’t have any more trivia? (214) 13-170-9: Did you know a shark’s top speed is 96 km/h? You: Which species? (214) 13-170-9: Uh, Mako shark, I think. You: You are correct. I have a certain affinity for sharks.  You: They aren’t as terrible as people make them out to be, you know. Yang: Actually, more people die from being struck on the head with a coconut than from shark attacks every year. They’re mostly fine if you leave them alone. Unprovoked attacks aren’t as common as people think, I mean. It’s mostly just one species responsible for them, too, but people lump all sharks together. You: They do. Sharks are dangerous, yes, but most creatures are. Sharks just get a bad reputation for essentially no reason. Yang: Actually, the movie Jaws spawned a lot of the social stigma around sharks. Yang: Do you have a favorite shark? You: The catshark. There’s several species all over Remnant; they’re deep sea creatures, living below what most people fish at, but they’re occasionally spotted by research vessels. They have beautiful skins with wonderful patterns but very little is known about them, and each subspecies is unique in its own way. You: They’re truly fascinating creatures. Yang: They sound really cool! You: I have a question for you. Yang: Shoot. You: You’ve given me your name yet you haven’t ask me mine. Why? Yang: Well, let’s start from the top. Yang: I messaged you in the middle of the night on accident, which you weren’t very happy about. Then when you apologized, I made a bad joke and you took it literally. THEN, I apologized again, and we talked about memes, and that entire discussion didn’t go anywhere good, I think we’re on the same page on that one. Yang: So, from my perspective, I really don’t have any right to ask your name. I gave you mine so you’d know who to specifically curse if you’re religiously inclined. Yang: Or, like, you just want the satisfaction of specifically cursing me, because like, mood. You: How thoughtful. You: It’s Winter. Yang: I’m pretty sure it’s spring? You: You boob. My name is Winter. Yang: OH Yang: IT’S A GOOD NAME You: ... really? Yang: Absolutely! It’s a beautiful name! You: That wasn’t me looking for reassurance; that was me being... surprised by your response. Yang: It makes me think of Atlas, kinda, cause it’s so cold up there. Yang: Oh. Yang: I am just a series of “open mouth, insert foot” examples today. You: Are you on something? Alcohol? Weed? Nicotine? Yang: NO! You: Admittedly, that last one wouldn’t lead to such a lapse in judgement as you’ve currently displayed. You: Are you lying to me? Yang: FUCKING NO, I’M NOT ON ANYTHING! Yang: I just haven’t been sleeping well recently and my head’s a little fuzzy. That’s all. You: That would explain the middle-of-the-night trivia session. Yang: I said I was sorry about that. You: I believe you but I also believe that a good night’s rest in fundamentally important. You: Tonight, you’re going to sleep at a reasonable hour. Yang: You can’t just command me to go to sleep! You: I just did. Yang: Wait a minute, the acronyms, the orders, “subordinates”- you’re military, aren’t you? You: Yes. Yang: That’s awesome! I’m just a mechanic. I like working on engines. You: Riveting, truly, but those are topics for tomorrow. Tonight, you sleep. Yang: lmao, nice pun! You: I didn’t make a pun. Yang: I said I’m a mechanic, you said “riveting”, how was that not a pun? You: You’re deflecting. Yang: My shields are up. You: I’m not engaging in a pun war when you should be going to bed. Yang: I’m not going to bed, so I guess we’re at a stalemate. You: Fine. Here’s the deal. Make me a promise. Yang: Wow, we’re hardly on first name basis and now we’re making promises? You move fast. You: Promise me you’ll text me whatever piece of trivia comes to mind whenever you’re having trouble sleeping. Yang: I don’t get it. I’d be waking you up at all hours. You: Exactly. You seem like the sort of person to care very much about others so I doubt you’d compromise my sleep intentionally. Now that you have a clear purpose of going to sleep to help someone else sleep, you’ll have an easier time accomplishing the task. Yang: What are you, some kinda quack psychologist? Yang: You’re playing dirty. You: I’m military. What did you honestly expect? Yang: Touche. Yang: Fine. I’ll try to sleep tonight. But just know! I have a whole bunch of factoids for ya! Get ready cause neither of us is sleeping tonight! You: Usually, I’d insist someone buy me dinner first. Yang: Now you’re flirting. You: I’m merely stating fact. You: How about one more “factoid” before bed? Yang: Did you know a shark’s teeth are literally hard as steel? You: Playing to my interests, I see. Yang: I have my moments of brilliance. You: Indeed you do. Now, good night, Yang. Get some sleep. Yang: Good night Winter. Sweet dreams. You: And to you the same.

-Today, 0947- Yang: I hate you. You: Care to elaborate? Yang: Somehow, it worked, and I just woke up from the sleep of the dead. My body feels like mush sloshing around a hollow lead cylinder. You: What you’re feeling is the side effects of your body getting both too little and too much rest at the same time. If you establish a better sleep schedule, you’ll avoid this feeling in the future. Yang: Thank you, Doctor Winter. Do I get a lollipop? You: Continue being this cheeky; I assure you it’s doing nothing but improving my perception of you. Yang: Harsh. You: That was teasing. Yang: Oh. You really should add, like, an lol or something when you're joking. I'm not awake enough to find context clues. You: Aside from the lethargy, how are you feeling? Yang: Hungry. I finally dragged myself out of bed to cook breakfast and it turns out my sister already made me some. I’ve taught her well. You: Older or younger? Yang: I’m older by two years. Sometimes, it feels longer than that, though; I practically raised her. You: Interesting. I’m glad she made some food for you. Yang: Yeah. Now that I think about it, probably worried her pretty bad the last few weeks. You: Is that how long you’ve been having trouble sleeping?” Yang: About that. Yang: These pancakes taste fucking delicious btw. Yang: Did you know that, for most people, their right lung takes in more air than their left? You: We need to have a talk about priorities because I highly doubt you’ve inhaled your food that quickly. Yang: Sorry, my sis had to leave, so it’s a quiet breakfast over here. You: I don’t see that as something that needs to be corrected. You: However, I find myself wondering if you know the reason behind the lung trivia. Yang: I do! It’s because, for most people, your heart is just to the left of the center of your chest. So, since the heart takes up space, there’s only two sacs in your left lung, as opposed to three in your right. Yang: *sacks? Idek You: Idek? Yang: I Don’t Even Know- not sure what the difference between “sacs” and “sacks” is. You: This is why acronyms and abbreviations are more trouble than they’re worth. Yang: Okay, so basically, a sac is biological and a sack is manufactured. Like, sacs are things naturally occurring that fill with air or liquid, either in the body or outside it. Sacks are made for carrying things like groceries. Yang: Meanwhile, “sack” as a verb means either getting hit or getting laid off. Or maybe both, I guess, depending on your job. You: You went and looked it up? Yang: What, you think I was born with all these random things preprogrammed? Yang: I have a really good retention rate and I'm curious a lot. Yang: Google is my friend. You: Obviously. I suppose the appropriate follow-up question would be: you kept highlighting “most people”. Why? Yang: Well, there are a lot of medical reasons that makes it not applicable to everyone. Dextrocardia, for instance, in its mildest form causes the heart to face the opposite way, so the lungs usually fill differently because of that. More severe cases mean that more visceral organs are mirrored, too. You: Okay, so, language, sharks, the electric chair, and now medical trivia. The breadth of your subjects of interest is impressive. Yang: Thanks! Yang: Did you know that the cracking sound made by a whip is caused by the tip breaking the sound barrier? Yang: I’m pretty sure this counts as physics. You: I’ll add physics to the list. You: Now finish your breakfast and do something small. Take a nap in a few hours or whenever you feel tired. Yang: Do you have any siblings? Yang: You don't have to answer right away! Yang: Or at all. Yang: Guess you're busy? Eating breakfast maybe?

-Today, 1036- You: Actually, I was in formation. It's usually at 0930 but there were... complications this morning, so they pushed it back half an hour. Yang: Huh. For some reason, I always thought the military would be, like, SUPER punctual. You: And I have a younger sister and a younger brother, in that order. You: I'm going to tell you a secret: the military is always late. We just never admit it. Yang: So, you're like a bunch of cats? You: Given what constitutes my workday, yes, I would say that's accurate. "Herding cats" is the most accurate description of my job title. Yang: lmao, that's wild. Your siblings here in Vale too? Or back home in Atlas? You: My sister is here; she moved here to study at Beacon and then decided to stay. I suspect her girlfriend might factor into that decision but she's remaining tight lipped about it. My brother is at home, in Atlas. You: Now explain “lmao”. Yang: Laughing My As Off Yang: You really don’t know any chat abbreviations? You: Has it occurred to you that abbreviations is a very long word to describe the shortening of words and is, in itself, evidence that it’s all very silly? Yang: I know this is going to sound very grade school but you’re kinda cute when you’re annoyed. You: You’re right; that does sound very grade school. You: And you only say that because you can’t see me. Yang: Oh, so you don’t go all broody, kinda constipated, pursed lips when you’re annoyed by something? You: I understand those words individually but, combined, I’m lost. What would that even look like? Yang: Here. Yang: [photo][open][save] You: First, I want to assure you that you’re a very beautiful individual. You: Next, you look absolutely ridiculous. Yang: Hey, that’s how I think you look when you’re annoyed! You: I do not. Yang: Okay, I’ll take your word for it! You: [photo][open][save] Yang: Oh Yang: Wow You: That is what I look like when annoyed. You: And, not to wound your ego, but that annoyance isn’t inspired by you. A subordinate just asked me for fucking grid squares. You: At this point, one would think that joke’s too tired to work, but one would be wrong. Yang: Did you know that the winter of 392 was so cold, all of Beacon Falls froze over? You: Back to trivia? Yang: It’s my default response when higher brain function shuts down. You: I’ll admit, this is the first time in a long while I’ve felt flattery to be entirely sincere. Yang: This isn’t flattery; this is cold, hard facts. You: I see. Yang: Hey, I, uh, just realized the time, I gotta get to work. Yang: See if I still have a job, at any rate. You: I understand. Good luck. Yang: Thanks! Hope your work day gets better!

-Today, 1236- You: I assume the radio silence to be a good sign.

-Today, 1428- Yang: Yeah! Turns out, the shop kept a spot for me. My boss is being really understanding. Yang: Kinda... babying me, too, but... I’m getting used to it. Yang: At least he fired the idiot that started this whole mess. You: Am I permitted to inquire as to what happened? Yang: I don’t wanna go into details. You: That’s understandable. You: I’m glad they kept a spot for you. Are you going to return to work full time or ease into it? Yang: Give me a minute. You: Very well.

-Today, 1513- Yang: A few months ago, there was an accident at the shop. We do body work too and this guy tried using a machine he had no business using. Freaked out, caused a scene, I tried going over to help, ended up with my right arm caught in the damn thing. Mangled it pretty bad. So bad the docs had to take it. I got fitted for a prosthetic and I’m just trying to find normal again. Yang: I know I said I didn’t wanna go into the details but I’m actually shit at lying. Yang: Except in, like, weirdly specific circumstances. You: Thank you. Yang: Ok. Gotta admit. Not the response I expected. You: It must be very difficult to discuss and think about the accident. You didn’t have to go into it, yet you did, and I thank you for trusting me with that. You: That being said, is this a contributing factor to your insomnia? Yang: It’s not insomnia. I’m just not sleeping well. Yang: But yeah, idk, maybe it’s related. I liked sleeping on my right side and I can’t anymore. Anchor digs into my ribs. You: Establishing a new routine can be tricky at first. Everything is just a painful reminder of the incident. Yang: Sounds like you have experience with this. You: A bit. A superior of mine whom I respect greatly lost most of his body a few years back. He speaks very frankly about the challenges he faced when returning to the line. Yang: Wait, you mean General Ironwood? You: You know him? Yang: Who in Remnant doesn’t? He’s basically a celebrity. I mean, not just for the prosthetic body thing; he’s also the youngest commanding General of the Atlesian military. Yang: Which... tbh, is kinda weird. Isn’t he pushing fifty? You: Age takes on a whole new concept in the military. Yang: I’d say. Yang: They talked about him when I started my physical therapy. Supposed to inspire me, I guess. You: For what it’s worth, he actually dislikes when people do that. He says that each individual case is a war all unto itself. Comparisons are detrimental to the individual’s recovery. Yang: I like him better already. I’ve been over here trying to just “suck it up” I mean, not like I lost anything more than an arm, what do I have to complain about? You: Hold that thought. Yang: Okay?

-Today, 1558- You: Miss Yang? This is General Ironwood. Yang: Look, I’m all for practical jokes, but this isn’t a good one. You: [photo][open][save] Yang: This is not a joke. You: No, it is not.  You: Miss Yang, I’d like to extend my deepest, sincerest sympathies to you for your loss. Having your life upended in such a way can be extremely disorienting. However, the measure of your strength does not come from what you can or can’t do in comparison to before. It comes from your desire to continue fighting, to find a new balance to your life. Asymmetry is a measure of beauty, strength, and courage in its own right. Yang: Thank you, sir. Yang: *Sir. You: I’d like to extend an invitation to a support group I host. It’s mostly military members from all over Remnant but, if you don’t mind a bit of morbidly crass humor- a habit I’m attempting to break the lot of them from, with limited results- we’d be honored with your presence. Yang: No offense, but I doubt a bunch of soldiers would be “honored” by a mechanic. You: The first thing I teach is to see similarities instead of differences. You saw something dangerous and, rather than run away, you ran towards it. All of us share that experience. You: Except Carl. Yang: What happened to him? You: I apologize; it’s a military specific meme. Winter mentioned you’re rather fond of memes. Yang: Oh, so you know what a meme is, but she doesn’t? You: Don’t tell her I said so- she’s a very good soldier- but she’s always had a stick up her ass. She could use more memes in her life. Yang: Should I take that as an order? You: Absolutely. Yang: Can do. And, uh, sure. About the support group. You: Excellent! I’ll give Winter the details so she can pass them onto you. It was wonderful taking to you, Miss Yang. Yang: Yeah, you too, Sir. You: It’s Winter again. I hope that helped. Yang: Did you literally walk into the office of the commanding General of Atlas’ military, just to hand him your scroll and say ‘talk to this bitch’? You: I didn’t use those words; I told him I had a friend who recently attended physical therapy post amputation and I thought some words of encouragement from him would be a good idea. You: Wait, did he literally say I have a stick up my ass? Yang: WOOOW, meme savvy he might be, but apparently he doesn’t know how to delete a text message. You: I can’t believe he’d say that. You: I most certainly do not have a stick lodged in my posterior, figurative or otherwise. Yang: I’d offer to check but that’s a bit too fast too soon, so I’ll just say you seem alright to me. You: Thank you, Yang. Yang: Cranky when I wake you up at the asscrack of dawn, though. That might be when ass and stick are firm friends. You: Do not make me take it back. Yang: I’m just kidding! Yang: Seriously, though, thanks. You didn’t have to do that. You: You’re welcome.

-Today, 0233- Yang: Did you know it takes the average person seven minutes to fall asleep? You: I sincerely thought you’d be asleep by now. Yang: I did. Woke up. Yang: Sorry. You: Do you know what a contact truck is? Yang: Uh, no, no idea. You: It’s the military vehicle utilized by mechanics, outfitted with tools, so they can drive out and repair other vehicles. Do you know why it’s called that? Yang: Hit me with it. You: That was an actual question. Yang: Huh? You: I’ve been asking for as long as I’ve been in. Not even General Ironwood knows why it’s called that. It just is. Yang: omg that’s hilarious You: It’s that, too. Also incredibly vexing. You: I just want to know why it’s called that. Yang: Heh. If I find out, I’ll let you know. You: Go back to sleep, Yang. Yang: I’ll try. Night. You: And sweet dream. Yang: lol, same to you.

[videograhams]

dating eddie miller would include / being in hoa headcanons

i wrote these so long ago lmao but for @thatfinalsibuna :)

THESE ARE TERRIBLE LMAO

he's a leo/cancer cusp.

he tries to keep sibuna from you for a really long time because he doesn't want to see you hurt/drag you into this.

him having a nice friendship from Patricia that you envy. you swear you can't stand the word yacker lmao.

he finds it kinda cute when ur angry/jealous but he'll always reassure you you're the only one.

Patricia does not seem to like you, you can’t really tell if shes jealous since she mostly ignores you. 

kt is probably your best friend. Joy is loyal to Patricia and Mara is always on school work so. But Fabian always says if Nina were here you two would be friends. It's nice to nice to know someone would like you lmao i was like 10 when i wrote this.

As for the guys, Jerome and you would hang out a ton. He's just funny and helps you get out of your comfort zone with funny pranks. He is also strangely good at giving advice. 

btw this makes eddie incredibly jealous. Like he legit gives Jerome the death stare all the time. let's b real u lowkey like the angry ur mine makeout sessions. 

Fabian confesses about sibuna to you. He wants you to know and he trusts you.

You can't keep quiet and have a late night talk with Jerome about it. You both feel so excluded. 

This eventually leads to jeroy having a huge fight bc she knew

You apologized to joy and she forgave you but still felt like they needed a break.

Jerome cries to you for legit the whole week.

Eddie can't stand this. You sitting with him and helping and all.

Eventually anubis pretty much hates you. Fabian feels horrible.

It's time for the dreaded sibuna talk with eddie lmao.

"Y/n- look- I was just trying to protect you. What don't you understand?" He gets really flustered knowing what's coming next.

HE CONFESSES ABOUT BEING THE OSIRIAN AMD TELLS U EVERYTHING THATS GOING ON WITH FROBISHER

Kt says sorry and everything is pretty normal.

So another dreaded talk comes.

"Eddie, I want to help you- and."

"Y/N! what don't you understand? Creepy dead guy from 100 years ago? Alive! The sinners-"

Things get really quiet and folds his finders together by his face and "I can't."

"I can't- I wouldn't be able to live with myself if you got- or."

He looks at u with those eyes "if anything happened to you."

He gets up and cups your hands in his "I can't risk you- okay please don't make me."

u give in and say you'll stay out 

"Thank you!! Just stay here okay,I love you-"

u two look at each-other and he awkwardly

"So see ya later, osirian" you mock

"Very funny" he snarks kisses ur forehead and goes to meet with sibuna

“Y/N COME HERE PLEASE.”

“WHAT DO YOU NEED JEROME.”  you walk into his room

"Did I just hear an I love you?" He gives that cheeky smirk

"He just blurted it out- I think it was an accident."

"Please that was no accident." He looks down and starts laughing

"I mean? I love you just like that? He's pathetic." He's lowkey depressed bc he's too shy to say it it to joy

Ugh "is that all Jerome"

"Yes yes u can go now" he shoos u with his hand

Jerome spreads to alfie and joy which goes to Patricia fabian then mara

Eddies embarrassed af first and legit in denial he said it "psh i would never we r in high school."  but then in front of everyone during dinner while they're making side comments and giggling "So what?" He's annoyed "it's true." He leans back gets flustered then walks to his room .

you try to talk to eddie but he makes an excuse to be alone. you pry but he's being a bitch

HES PARANOID DENBY OR SOMEONE WILL GRAB U "text me when you get to the house." "Let me walk you into class" 

"who were u talking to?"

 "Babe I'm just worried." 

He waits outside your class. "Il walk you back to the house." 

Doesn't go to sleep if he can kiss you goodnight. He legit always gets in trouble.

u guys have weird games like whoever wins a staring contest gets a sandwich from the loser type shit it's fun and cute.

you two trash talk people literally all the time in ur room, in public. Bonding sesh.

bonus stuff i found in my notes 

Late night talks and cuddles r always in his room which could potentially lead to something more but y'all bitches scared of victor lets be real

when u two decide ur ready he rents a hotel for one day on the weekend and it's cute omg.

"I meant what I said. "

"You know eddie, not sure if u know this but when you say something to other people it has to make sense." you chuckle

"Don't ruin the moment lemon."

"Lemon? Tf?

"You’re always so sour."

"Always as u were saying" you groan.

"Nope you ruined it." He looks away

“EDDIE I SWEAR.”

He laughs hysterically "you’re face, relax I'm gonna tell you"

"When I said I loved you."

"Really?"

"Yeah I mean well it wasn't a lie so"

You kiss him. "Then I love you too."

He smiles and u two cuddle and talk and make fun of how mushy and disgusting it is.

On graduation he starts, "okay lemon- I wanna"

"Literally never call me that"

"Would you stop ruining the moment"

"On this day- in two years il propose to you."

"Yeah right." you mock.

when your in college with him living in an apartment all while he's cooking dinner he just gets down on his knees and u nut.

He teases u all the time and but you get use to it

He gets really serious when it comes to you.

Yes. you two are not perfect. He fibs a lil and jealousy comes into the mix but you guys love each other and its meant to be.

not my gif.

[fictionalwonder]

True Blood Season 4 Review

Ok It's done. The guessing and spoiling is over for another 9 months leaving us with only a serious fangover and an unprecedented post season body count. True Blood Season 4 was bat shit crazy even more than Season 3, the timeline of such memorables as jar of Talbot and spine ripping TV. So now post Season 4 finale whether you were calling for a Scream award or thought the whole thing blew chances are you're about to embark on 9 months of TB withdrawal. Yup even the haters feel its absence. So let's savor the moment in a post finale look at the best and worst of True Blood Season 4

THE BIGGEST THANK GOD MOMENT: Wee Marcus and gang finally putting Tommy and us out of the misery that was Tommy Mickens sorry ass life. As soon as he went skinwalker you knew his days were numbered. Sam Tramwell was brilliant doing Tommy doing him and who didn't cheer when said Tommy/Sam fired Sookie! She is the worst waitress ever! Talk about sick leave; is she ever at work for more than half a shift!?! The fall out from his death will certainly carry us through season 5, where we can only hope Sam has some modicum of hope at returning to just running the bar and attending anger management sessions.

Close second was Sookie decisively shooting Debbie Pelt in the head, even though she begged her not to. Yup, we had to wait till the very end of the season for evil, laughing while pouring Talbot down the drain Sookie, to return.

BEST OMG MOMENT: Ginger riding the coffin - nuff said.

SCARIEST/SEXIEST MOMENT:

Scary and sexy are often one and the same on True Blood, and this year Eric Northman ripping out, here to be known as, Juice Box Roy's heart will be stamped on my brain as a shining TB moment. Countless screamed everywhere, I had know idea THAT could be sexy! Give Skarsgård a raise!

BTW the T-shirts were on sale a mere 3 hours post show.

BIGGEST WTF MOMENT: Sookie and Eric snow shower then frak in Narnia. I've never read the books but the post Spellbound roar over The Vampire, The Witch and The Shower Stall, chocked up the blog commentary for days. I suspect because nothing could ever live up to this sacred cow of the sookiverse sexcapdes, Ball and company for better or worse decided not to go there; thus sparing us from more Skinmax test reels by getting out of the shower faster than they got in

MOST IMPROVED: King Bill - sure

he's damaged goods nailing his great great great great granddaughter and watching his ex screw his brain-damaged frenemy but sans Sookie round his neck, Bill was standing a bit taller this year. He even had a sense of humor, and Bill with balls is actually kind of hot. The developing bromance between him and Eric turned out to be one of the best parts of the season close.

MOST POTENTIAL: Laurel and Hardy move over. With Sookie out of the way Bill and Eric make an an awesome tag team, dissing each other on the pyre then cooperatively staking and decapitating Nan and troopers. Here's to more of Bill and Eric's excellent adventure in Season 5.

MOST IN NEED OF IMPROVEMENT: Sookie got enough of her spunk back to blow Debbie Pelt's head off, sure, but seriously she spent most of the season literally on her back, well sometimes on top. She was once a gifted mind-reader; we saw that maybe twice this season. Instead we learned more about her castrating powers when it comes to boyfriends. She mommied Eric into a hoody wearing puppy dog, did the dirty with him in every room of grandma's house and then kicked him, alongside Bill, to the curb come finale. In four seasons she truly did go from virgin to love em and leave em fangbanger. The classless moves have got to stop if the Stackhouse angle is to survive. We need an even slightly relate-able protagonist. I'm hoping another eligible lady moves to town, though god forbid she get a job at Merlotts - the most dangerous workplace in America.

SOOKIE'S ONE REDEEMING FEATURE SEASON 4: Sookie had unbelievably great hair this season. I swear to god I saw the camera man reflected in her locks in Eric's cubby.

MOST IN NEED OF A HUG: From defending herself against zombie slurs to losing an ear, Pam had endured what must go down as the worst week in her hundred plus years. She lost her maker to back country fairy vagina and her face rotted off. And things weren't exactly looking up when we left her, blood tears running down her cheek, hugging Ginger.

Why did they do that to Pam!!! Well for one reason she gave TB viewers some of the best gore the show has ever delivered. Still, writers, you better fix her. At the end of the day we really just want to look at Kristin Bauer being gorgeous and acting snarky.

Coming in second is Hoyt who despite the bitterness of his bad boyfriend rejection could really use a little lov'in right now, if not some of Summer's biscuits.

BEST RECAPS and REVIEWS:

VLOGS

#1 Bloodworks takes the stakes as a no contest winner. Besides being just the cutest couple in the world, Brian and Any's post show cocktails and theatrics amount to sometimes slurry worded and always hilariously astute recaps. I swear by mid season you look forward to Andy and Brian's upload as much as the episode itself. With its "staking points" and "do bad things" they were the best thing that could happen to a mediocre TB episode. Brian Juergen and Andy Swist @campbloodbuzz @andyswist http://campblood.org/Newblog/

#2 Think Heroes True Blood Review is tried and true. Roth Cornet has hosted solo for two seasons, and this season Jenna Busch was on board. Roth's reviews are first-rate often delving deeper than the show deserves. Busch does a good job of keeping things in the watercooler-moment mood of the short vlog format. The two combined offer a sometimes giggle ridden but always insightful True Blood take. Jennings Roth Cornet @JRothC | http://www.jenningsrothcornet.com/ JennaBusch @JennaBusch | http://girlmeetslightsaber.blogspot.com

#3 BloodBites is family friendly fair with this sister and brother team showcasing familial bonds and blood-dipped funny bones. Reenacting then reviewing a given episode's wtf moments, Blood Bites has cross-gen appeal. It's quality YouTube content you could show your grandmother and your eight year-old niece, who you know are both watching True Blood too.

Honorable Mention My Future Lover's Reason to Ship Sookie and Eric Spawn of You Tube strictly for Team Eric members, My Future Lover's play by play captions to the best and worst Sookie Eric moments capture at least half the audience's joy, tears and tv punching moments.

BEST PODCAST

True Blood in Dallas Straight up fan founded talkshow and review of both book, show and TB culture with revolving guest reviewers each week. A steady dose of all the criticism only a Stackhouse booklover can bring, Talk Blood is laced with plenty of Charlaine Harris loving that fellow fans can appreciate.

Listen to internet radio with True Blood in Dallas on Blog Talk Radio

BLOGS AND WEB SITES

Best Recaps

Pros and Cons True Blood by Meredith Woerner nails it everytime. for a no holds barred, tell it like is play by play pro con style. This is one of the funniest and most astute TB recaps out there. Meredith Woerner @MdellW | http://io9.com/people/MeredithDW/posts/

After Eltons WTF recap by Steven Frank is an imaginative post morteum with major plot points reviewed then rated in Grace Jones Vamp limps.

Jef With One F's music and episode recap for the Houston's Press is a creative spin that lets the show's lead track set the tone for review and analysis. Jef With One F @HPRocksOff

Best Blogs

Talk True Blood Digging deep and ranting in the best way, Talk True Blood goes so far as to offer scene by scene body language analysis of major characters.

Buddhism and True Blood Dedicated to Alan Ball and the wheel of life, Buddhism and True blood reminds us that life is suffering especially in Bon Temps

True Blood Underground Do you really know what's going on in Bon Temps? Conspiracy theories abound as TB Underground calls out Alan Ball on his addictive mind control experiment.

FINAL WORD Four seasons later there is still a bit of blood left in the series, and while fairy-finger-cop-outs and super silly, supernatural assumptions do show signs of laziness in the writers room, True Blood still does deliver some amazing TV. Godforbid we get bogged down by process oriented stuff like how amnesia Eric lost his shirt post-spell or ends up on a bonfire tied to Bill between episode 11 and 12. Things like how come no one reports a death in Bon Temp anymore or WHO IS running Merlottes only get in the way of a good story or at least a good "oh no they didn't" jaw drop.

I suspect, forty eight episodes later, TB writers actually relish every shark jumping moment as much as fangbanging spectacle. They know they can get away with it because they know how dedicated, creative and forgiving their fan base is. Plus narrative logic be damned, camp and drama are fine edges to play on, and they deserve applause for taking even tasteless risks.

For every bit of hocus pocus cgi True Blood throws at us, such as the anime forcefield surrounding Moon Goddess or the ridiculously bad fx exorcism of Mavis, there was a Pam getting a skin peel or Eric ripping the heart out of juice box Roy to make up for it. For each ridiculous Scooby Doo and the gang moment, there was a Vampire A-team or death by pencil. For each and every minute we tolerated Andy, we had a shot of Ginger riding a coffin or Eric drinking the whole fairy. True Blood IS very uneven but it IS very fun.

So that caps summertime Sundays and True blood still remains my ultimate guilty pleasure. The culture and coverage this year has been as much fun as the show itself and made Sundays feel like a party. I think Alex Skarsgård sums it all up in this quote,

“At 7 in the morning, I’m hanging from the ceiling in a Nazi uniform with fangs in[my mouth]. I look over and I see [Allan] there in his Nazi uniform hanging like a puppet. We’re about to descend down to kill this wolf, you know? And that was the moment where we just looked at each other like, This is what we’re doing for a living?‘”

Yup, IT IS! And even more surprising I CAN"T believe I'm watching you do it and not only that but loving every minute!

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Uh can you do a request for me were overhaul has to deal with the gross aspects of father hood because his s/o is away on a trip and won’t be back for a week and he has to like change diapers clean out the babies boogers which is always hard to do and stuff like the thank you

SORRY! IT TOOK TWO DAYS I HAD A MIND BLOCK JESUS CHRIST IM SO SORRY

Loved the idea btw. Honestly I had so much fun writing these XD

"This is going to be a disaster. I'm warning you." Chisaki said while you checked your bags one last time for the trip that your parents suddenly demanded you on it.

And the worst part... you couldn't bring your babies...

"Is not going to be a disaster Kai." You giggled as you watched your husband on the door frame, already looking apprehensive at the tiny baby beaming happily at you from his crib.

"You're his father." You scooped Kaito in your arms coing at him when he nuzzled in your neck "Kaito never gave us too much work. So I trust my handsome devil to take care of our child." You smiled sweetly at your husband, offering for him to hold Kaito.

He glared at the infant for a while before picking him up. The baby already trying to play with his piercings.

"No Kaito." Chisaki swat the tiny hand away from his ear before receiving a tiny slap on his cheek while his son made a noise of possibly protest at his order.

You bite the inside of your cheek to contain your laugh at seing your husband frowing down at the baby as he pinched his tiny nose to make him stop tryingto reach his ear.

A honk broke you out of your thoughts as Chisaki sighed in annoyance.

"Your family is rather impatient, aren't they?" He mumbled while accompaning you to the gates.

"Sorry." You smiled embarrassingly, only stopping in your tracks to nuzzle your son's chubby face and give him a kiss of goodbye.

Chisaki smiled at the scene, seing his beautiful angel treat something that came from him with such adoration... you were always like this...

You sighed sadly before bringing Chisaki's black mask down to his chin to give him a deep kiss, which he hummed in appreciation.

"I will be back in at least five or six days my knight." You said while carresing his cheek lovingly before putting his black mask on again. "Take care of our little deviant..."

"As if I wouldn't. Be safe." He picked Kaito hands and waved slightly "Say goodbye to your mother brat." The baby giggled up at his father before barbling something to you.

"We need to work on your speaking..." you laughed at Chisaki's serious comment and gave your baby a last kiss waving at them as you entered the car.

Chisaki sighed and returned inside the house with Kaito in his arms still.

"Alright. Sounds like is only mans on the house apparently..." he placed Kaito on the baby chair as he placed a bottle right in front of him.

"Let's see... your mother left some things separately for you to eat..." he looked inside the fridge before jerking away at the sudden jet of milk almost hitting the back of his head.

Thank god he had good reflexes.

He looked at the baby whose was giggling at his father surprised face while he tried to put his open mouth on the wrong side of the bottle.

"...Kaito I swear if you weren't an infant you would be cleaning this with a toothbrush..." he groaned picking something to clean the mess. Before he could even do that he heard a little groan coming from his son while he still tried to reach the liquid on the wrong side of the bottle.

"Kaito. Wrong side." He smirked placing the napkin down before picking his son and the bottle up and thankfully handing it to him.

"You're not much smart, are you?" He asked while holding him up.

Just when Kaito finished, he scrunched his face, seeming like he was in discomfort as Chisaki only stared for a while.

Oh, right, burping...

He reluctantly put Kaito on his shoulder and patted his back slightly... already cringing when he felt something wet and warm on his shoulder...

"Of course you would do that..." the baby laughed making Chisaki even more irritaded.

"Its going to be a long week..."

Shit.. Literally shit.

"I can't do this."

"Well, too bad because he is your son." Chrono sayed to Chisaki already providing any orders for him to do it.

"PLeASe JuST SOMEOnE CLeAn his ShiT! The SMeLL IS FUcKInG TerRiBle." Begged Mimic.

Even with their masks on, the three man were suffering... were babies supposed to have that much of a power?

"Kai come on. Don't tell me you never changed your son's diaper even once..." Chisaki stayed quiet for a moment before answering his friend.

"(Y/N) did this part..." Chrono looked at his childhood friend, definitely not amused as Mimic snickered.

"How the hell you two still together? Poor chick has to deal with this shit everday?" Asked the man sarcastically, already regreting when he saw the death glare of Overhaul.

"If you are so smart with words Irinaka, please teach me how to change the diaper of my own son which I made it with my wife differently from your lonely self who apparentlyits only good with money and nothing else." Mimic shivered at the dark tone of voice of Chisaki and immediately apologized.

Even marrying you and had a son, Overhaul could be scary as fuck when he wanted without any efforts...

"Chisaki the entire place is getting infected by the smell. Please, I'm actually begging in here." Pleaded Chrono as he putted closer his mask.

Chisaki send daggers at the two man before adjusting his gloves and oppening the bomb. Thankfully he had holded his breath and quickly changed the boy.

He immediately left out a long puff of breath as soon as he throwed the used diaper on a near trash... Getting a spray shortly after and desperately trying to erase the smell of the room.

His son laughed at his father's desperation, earning a glare from Chisaki.

"You're enjoying this aren't you little rascal?" He picked his son up "I have to give your mother more credit. Honestly, dont you feel ashamed of making your mother suffer?" The baby poked his tongue out at him which he only scoffed.

He was surprised to turn his back and saw Chrono and Mimic passed out on the ground.

"...Weaklings." he simply said.

They didn't had the same stragy that you did honey because if you smelled that shit you would be knocked out too.

Chisaki was tired already and was pleading to whoever was listening that you came back home earlier than expected.

"Two days Kai Chisaki... Two days..." he growled as he dodged again from a jerk of baby food coming right at his face.

"Kaito I swear to god... just please eat this." He tried carefully feed his son the apple sauce but Kaito swatted his hand away.

"You little..." he contained his urge to swear as he breath in slowly.

When he oppened his eyes again he saw his son... eating the damn apple sauce with his bare hands... making a complete mess on his chubby face and dark brow hair.

"You must be joking...." just when he sayed that the baby burbed and a little of vomit landed on his clothes.

Chisaki's eye twitched... he swears that he was doing on purpose at this point.

"Have anything else?" Asked sarcastically the tired man, shortly after regreting when he heard a faint fart.

"Kaito for the love of-" he almost shouted if he wasn't so good at self control.

The worst part is that every time he almost losed his pacience his son only laughed harder and even sometimes made more messes for him to clean up later.

You came back one day earlier; can't standing the longing for your two favorite boys; and started to look for Chisaki.

You find your husband, sitting on the couch as he sometimes rocked the crib he placed on the living room.

You sitted by his side and greeted him as you enveloped your arms around his arms. Chisaki sighed in relief and leaned his head against yours for a bit.

"How did it go?" You whispered before Chisaki looked you dead on the eye.

"Babies are disgusting... Especially this one." He pointed with his covered chin at the sleeping boy in front of you.

You giggled quietly as you kissed his cheek lovingly.

"I swear, this brat was enjoying my frustation." He rested his chin on the top of your head "Your a warior my angel... you deserved this break from Kaito honestly, but don't go out again..." he closed his eyes, smelling your sweet scent.

He missed this... 6 days were too much for him... He wanted his angel...

"My poor knight, he really tired you out huh?" You kissed under one of his eyes, before he took of his mask to kiss you properly.

"Well, at least it wasn't a complete disaster like I imagined." He said nuzzling your nose with his.

You two were interrupted by a loud yelp, Kaito happily making grabby hands at you as he pronounced some incoherents words.

Chisaki groaned as he buried his face on the crook of your neck as you eargly bringed Kaito into your lap.

"Hi my baby! Did yoi have fun with daddy?" The baby gargled a response as he tried to reach your nose "Really? Tell me more about it!" You poked his nose emiting a cute giggled from the little boy.

He honestly have no fucking idea how vould you understand what Kaito said, but that didn't stop him from smiling in your neck and oppening one eye to watch at his son playing with you.

Looking at him right there it didn't seemed like he was a ball of dirt and filth... But somehow his son looked so bright, almost reaching the light that he saw on you... but still not enough.

"What? All of that? Geez daddy is super cool right?" The baby giggled as Chisaki rolled his eyes scoffing, lifting his face from your neck.

"He did not say that."

"Of course he did!"

"No, knowing this brat, he probably just sayed something about me being a fool or how he enjoyed seing my suffering."

You burst in laughter when your baby giggled and Chisaki pinched his nose as a revenge.

The little devil had seemed to just nod at comfirmation of his father comment....