#this is normally done with the marauders era but whatever

[whatstruthgottodowithit]

Because I Liked A Boy [Part One]

Fandom: Harry Potter [Marauders Era]

Pairing: James Potter x Regulus Black, James Potter x Lily Evans,

Characters: James Potter, Regulus Black, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Lily Evans, Barty Crouch Jr, Evan Rosier, Marlene McKinnon, Mary MacDonald, Peter Pettigrew, Fleamont Potter, Euphemia Potter,

Word Count: 6401

Rating: Mature

Summary: Everything’s derailing. Was only tryna hold you close while your heart was failing.

Tags/ Warnings: Hogwarts, summer Challenge, Writing Challenge, Song Fic, Marauders Era, Period Typical Attitudes, Coming Out, Abusive Households, Kisses, Angst, Fluff, Regulus is underage, Wedding, Engagements, Lost Love,

Notes: One day I'll write a happy jegulus fic but not today. Also I hated having to use lily as a barrier but it's what fit the song inso so x

Summer Challenge 2024 // Song Inspo

Part One // Part Two// Part Three

‘Well go on then.’ 

Regulus didn’t know how he’d gotten here, staring down at the furious face of the red head as she watched him with flaming green eyes. He’d been standing with Remus in the corner, neither one of them party animals and therefore birds of a feather nestled away by the wall where no one would notice them. Well no one but Sirius who had tried nigh on ten times to get his boyfriend to dance, cajoling his brother into encouragement too, and now Lily who was watching him incensed.

Except she wasn’t the only one. Behind her several party goers were watching them, the same anger not displayed against their features but rather curiosity at what had gotten the normally mild-mannered witch so riled. The only one who didn’t seem curious was James who stood behind her, looking unnaturally shy as he tugged on her sleeve and said, ‘Lil leave it.’

‘No!’ Lily said, shooting him a glare before she turned her sights back on Regulus, ‘if he has something to say he can say it to my face.’

‘Oh leave off will you,’ Sirius said as he pushed through the throng of onlookers, ‘he’s just a kid.’

‘Well if he’s big enough to spread nastiness about,’ Lily said angrily, making Sirius glance at his brother curiously for a second, apparently now conflicted about whatever this spat was about. Of late he’d been coming to Regulus’ defence without question but a lifelong loyalty to James Potter was not something he gave up lightly and it was clear whatever this matter was it was about James even if Regulus feigned innocence, pushing himself up from the wall as he asked, ‘what have I done?’

Lily scoffed and shook her head before she replied, ‘you said we shouldn’t get back together. Told him that I didn’t deserve him, filled his head with all sorts of rubbish.’

Regulus said nothing but he allowed his gaze to drift past her to James. He hadn't looked at the boy once, his hazel gaze fixed firmly at his feet as he allowed his ex-girlfriend, or whatever she was, to fling her accusations around. Accusations she was waiting to be confirmed or denied as she snapped, ‘well?’

‘Lil please just leave it,’ Remus said from his side, as always the voice of reason. And as always drowned out by a Black’s sense of righteousness.

‘Well it’s not untrue,’ Regulus said simply, folding his arms as he stared the girl down.

‘Reg,’ Sirius warned, his gaze flicking between them all but landing firmly on his brother who shrugged and said ‘well it’s not. Or did she not dump him to find herself?’

‘I had a lot going on,’ Lily said defensively.

‘More like you thought you could do better only when you got there you found there wasn’t much of a demand for uptight cows and turned tail-‘

‘Reg,’ Remus groaned but Lily wasn’t for relenting, coming closer as she yelled shrilly, ‘how dare you! You have no idea what you’re talking about! As a matter of fact it’s none of your business!’

‘It is when,’ Regulus started but he was cut off, watching as Lily’s nostrils flared, her freckled skin becoming patchy red in places as her anger grew.

‘When what?’ she demanded, ‘you don’t know anything about us. I mean what are you to James? Sirius’ little brother? Some mixed up school kid trying to make grown up friends? Is that it?’

Anyone would’ve thought she was demanding the answers of Regulus except she’d turned, watching James instead, the way Regulus had. James looked up when he felt her move, panic on his handsome face as he tried to scramble for an answer. Except he didn’t make a sound. He wasn’t one to hide from the spotlight and yet now with everyone watching him he didn’t speak.

Regulus looked at him, grey eyes boring into his face as he willed for him to speak up, to say something. But he didn’t speak.

And again Regulus wondered how he’d gotten here.

He supposed Lily was right. Up until this summer he hadn't been much to James, well any of them really. Love his brother as he might Sirius’ antics had put a strain on their relationship over the years as had his immediate found friendship with ‘the marauders’. It wasn’t until one drizzly day in May when he’d gotten a letter from his mother, one that spewed hate and bile having not one but two what she deemed ‘unfit’ sons, did Regulus know there was no going back. He’d spent six years trying to not be like his brother only to find they were two sides of the same coin and when he’d written to him telling him so Sirius had been more understanding that he could’ve asked for. He’d taken him in for the summer, of course his and Remus’ apartment wasn’t massive so it meant a month or so of kipping on the sofa, but it was a home filled with love and acceptance, which wasn’t something he’d ever really known.

He also had not known a group of people to spend so much time at the pub. Of course he couldn’t complain but seeing as Remus and Sirius’ route to their bedroom would cross his path it did mean he found himself disturbed most nights. Fortunately when they came in this time he wasn’t asleep, he was sat in the armchair, curled up with a blanket and a cup of tea as he read his book, and tried to block out the dream he’d woken from not long since, the lashes of his father’s belt still feeling raw on his ankles though there was no marks to be seen.

Only when they came through the door this time, stumbling in as always, they weren’t alone. Slouched in between them was a very limp James Potter, Regulus could tell even though his head was flopped forward as the messiness of his dark locks was a telltale sign.

‘Jesus he’s like a lead weight,’ Sirius grunted as they hauled him into the room, his feet barely making traction against the cream carpet.

‘Least we managed to apparate most of the way,’ Remus grunted as they flopped him down onto the couch, adjusting himself as James sprawled out on his back, ‘I wouldn’t have liked doing that the muggle way.’

‘Nah me neither,’ Sirius agreed as he shrugged off his jacket and flung it over the back of the couch though only then did he seem to realise Regulus was awake, watching the pair of them standing over the now snoring James, ‘oh sorry Reggie didn’t see you there.’

‘It’s fine,’ Regulus muttered, trying not to wince at the sound of his detested nickname, ‘what's up with him?’

‘Blotto,’ Remus said with a yawn.

‘Heartbrokens more like it,’ Sirius said, glancing at his friend with sympathy before he looked back to Regulus and said, ‘you don’t mind if he sleeps here tonight do you? He was too upset to go back to his flat what with them living together-‘

‘It’s fine,’ Regulus said, already able to feel the crick in his neck he’d have from sitting up all night.

‘Thanks mate,’ Sirius smiled, patting his brother on the shoulder as he headed to his bedroom. Remus moved around the room for a minute, taking James’ shoes and glasses off and procuring a bowl for him to be sick into if needed. Regulus pretended not to watch though he offered the other man a smile before he disappeared behind their bedroom door.

Once he was gone silence fell, the only thing to be heard James’ heavy drunken breathing and the turning of Regulus’ pages though admittedly they had slowed. He didn’t know why he was watching the boy; it wasn’t like he’d never met him before. He’d known of the infamous James Potter at school, though admittedly he’d kept his distance as Sirius was normally not far behind, and he’d met him a couple of times since landing on his brother’s doorstep, normally in passing as the pair headed for a night out.

Still his curiosity had been sparked, not because they'd been out drinking but rather because Sirius had said he was heartbroken. Of course Regulus knew about Lily. After all, even from Slytherin house one couldn’t escape James Potter's infatuation with the redhead. If anything it had amused Regulus to see self-assured Potter put in his place here and there, at least he had been until she’d caved in sixth year and the pair had started dating. Or at least had been dating up to now it seemed.

‘I can feel you watching me you know,’ the boy grumbled, his eyes still closed though it was enough to make Regulus freeze like a deer in headlights. James shifted, cracking one eye open and watching Regulus who looked away and muttered, ‘I wasn’t watching you.’

‘It’s alright. But just so you know I normally charge a galleon for people to come and marvel at my beauty,’ James yawned as he rolled over pushing himself up until he was sitting before he peeled his jumper up over his head, causing his hair to fall into disarray even further. Regulus rolled his eyes at the comment though he couldn’t stop himself from looking at the boy, even though his knuckles were almost white holding his book, begging him to return to the page. He almost wished he had as when James looked up and caught him looking again he smiled and said, ‘sorry if I woke you up.’

‘You didn’t,’ Regulus said, the memories of his nightmare creeping into his brain though he forced it out, ‘I was awake...I was reading.’

‘Right yeah,’ James said, flopping his head back against the couch as he looked towards the fireplace. It was unlit, old, burned wood laying in the hearth but he watched it as if there were flames dancing around to mesmerise him. And just like the dreams had crept in on Regulus the thoughts of heartbreak appeared on James’ face as he came to.

And though he knew he probably shouldn’t, he wasn’t much of a talker himself, he found himself asking, ‘are you okay?’

‘Not really,’ James said honestly, tearing his gaze away from the fire with a sniffle.

‘Do you…do you want to talk about it?’ Regulus asked, scolding himself for doing so. What was he going to talk to James Potter about? He barely knew the man, not to mention it wasn’t as though Regulus’ love life was anything noteworthy. And it wasn’t as if he could offer any advice about girls. Fortunately James shook his head and realising that was a way to get away Regulus nodded and stood up, slinking the blanket onto the floor as he asked, ‘want a cup of tea?’

‘Tea?’ James asked.

‘Yeah, Sirius always used to make me a cup of tea when I was upset but I was making one anyway,’ he said, feeling red tinge his ears at how caring he sounded. James yawned, ‘sure go on then.’

At that Regulus darted into the kitchen, thankful of the wall now between them which hid his crimson cheeks from view. He didn’t know why it embarrassed him so much. Then again he wasn’t exactly accustomed to being nice, not overtly anyway. His friends were more of an eye roll and scathing wit kind of vibe rather than the unfathomable enthusiasm and gentle teasing his brother’s friends seemed to thrive in. Though maybe it was just because he’d brought up a topic James would rather not speak of and as someone who was used to the ‘stiff upper lip’ he'd made an error by bringing it up. Then again maybe it was the way that seeing an upset James had tugged at his heartstrings, the way he’d wanted to do something, anything, that would make him feel better.

Regulus brushed it aside as he made two cups of tea, one black and the other strong but milky with enough sugar to stand a spoon up in it in anticipation of fending off the other boy’s hangover. When he appeared back in the living room James was sitting up near his side of the couch, reading the back of Regulus’ book though he placed it down as the boy appeared, reaching out to take the cup from him as Regulus muttered, ‘here.’

‘Cheers,’ James said, taking a small sip.

‘It’s alright,’ Regulus said as he took a seat in his chair and took a sip himself. They were quiet for a moment and again Regulus felt the need to speak, something he never normally felt and so he offered, ‘I er, I looked for biscuits but I couldn’t find any.’

‘It’s alright,’ James shrugged.

‘Yeah…I guess I just fancied a custard cream,’ Regulus said, his throat drying up as James looked at him inquisitively, ‘they’re my favourite.’

James nodded and looked away, taking another small sip as Regulus tapped his fingers around the rim of his mug. It was ceramic and thick, unlike the China tea set his mother had which he had to admit made the difference. He missed that tea set. He missed drinking tea in the garden on a summer's afternoon.  And as always to his surprise he missed his mother, as twisted as it was to miss someone who no longer wanted you.

‘She dumped me,’ James mumbled, snapping Regulus back from thoughts of afternoon tea in the back garden of Grimmauld place.

‘Oh,’ Regulus said, ‘I’m sorry.’

‘S’alright,’ James sniffed, analysing the cup before him as though that should be his focus even though he’d been the one to bring it up. Regulus realised he could probably leave it there but the hurt in the boy's voice made him want to hear more. After all, if he heard more maybe he could fix it.

‘Did she say why?’ he probed.

‘We’re too busy for a relationship. It’s not like it was at school. She wants to find herself,’ James said, parroting the words rather than speaking them himself as evidenced by the scorn in his voice, ‘just think she was sick of me to be honest.’

‘Well you’re not so bad,’ Regulus said. He’d been biting his lip, holding in the snark that was destined to break free from him if he didn’t, but at hearing the downtrodden way James spoke of himself he felt compelled to refute though he didn’t know why. He knew of James Potter, it was hard not to, and though he’d never gone out of his way to know him well he knew one thing, he wasn’t that bad of a guy. James looked up as he spoke, ‘even if you do stumble in at one in the morning and wake me up.’

‘Thanks,’ he chuckled.

‘It’s alright,’ Regulus smiled softly.

‘And er sorry about that,’ James said with a grin, ‘maybe if I make it up to you I’ll go from not so bad to fairly decent eh?’

‘Maybe,’ Regulus agreed.

After that the pair settled down to sleep, whatever booze was still in James’ system combining with his sugary beverages and pulling him fast into slumber, only when Regulus awoke late in the morning he was alone. He had been right about the chair, the crick in his neck was so stiff but as he spotted the jumper still strewn across the back of the sofa he couldn’t help but smile, the flutter of butterflies in his stomach at the sight of it. He tried to ignore it, in fact when Sirius, Remus and James returned from James’ flat, after having gathered some belongings for a temporary stay, Regulus made himself scarce, opting to spend time in the boys’ bedroom or out on the tiny balcony. He only reappeared when it was nearing ready for bed, ready to take root in his designated armchair since James had somehow wangled the couch full time.

When he did he found Sirius looking in the mirror as he ran his fingers through his hair in the hopes to get it looking naturally windswept. Remus however didn’t seem bothered about his appearance as he was too busy yawning as he tried to lace up his boots. 

‘Going somewhere?’ Regulus asked as he took a seat, eyeing the couple and then James who was practically vibrating with enthusiasm as he stood opposite.

‘Pub,’ James said happily.

‘Pub,’ Remus answered at the same time, far less enthusiastic.

‘You can come if you want,’ James said though Regulus ignored him, opting instead to ask, ‘didn't you go last night?’

‘Yeah but someone said we’d go again,’ Remus said, shooting Sirius a dirty look.

‘Well it’s better than moping around here all night,’ Sirius said, moving towards James and pinching his cheek, ‘can't stand it when he mopes.’

‘Gerroff,’ James grunted, his excitement waning just an ounce, ‘M’not moping. Besides, it was your idea too. We don't have to go.’

‘We want to,’ Sirius said, sharing a serious look with Remus, ‘right Moony?’

‘Right. Let’s get this show on the road then,’ Remus agreed standing up and looking towards Regulus, ‘sure you don’t want to tag on?’

‘No thanks,’ Regulus said, relieved to have some time to himself.

‘Suit yourself,’ Sirius said, ‘see you later.’

‘Yeah later,’ Regulus said as the three walked to the door though as Sirius and Remus disappeared, walking down the stairs outside the flat James stopped, glancing to make sure they were away before he dashed to his backpack and pulled something out tossing them to Regulus who caught them smoothly, twirling the yellow packet around to see what he was holding.

‘Custard creams,’ James said with a smile, ‘as penance for waking you up.’

‘Last night or tonight?’ Regulus asked, feeling his stomach flutter as James smiled.

‘Well let's see what happens,’ James winked, and without another word he flounced out leaving Regulus looking at the packet of biscuits and trying to dispel the fizzy feeling in his stomach.

Following that first night Regulus did try to maintain his distance from James. He had his own friends, he didn't need his brothers too, but it was hard to do when you shared a makeshift bedroom with someone. In fact over the next couple of weeks they fell into an unspoken routine. With jobs yet to start following their departure from school they were all still on borrowed time and spending their days lolling around the flat and their nights in the pub. Regulus didn’t attend but every night when James came home, in various states of inebriation, he found himself waiting up for him, ready to spend ten minutes to two hours just speaking with him. He didn’t know why, what drew him to those conversations but somehow they felt mutually beneficial. Like whatever was said was confined to them, not to be mentioned again or used against one another in the real world. Their own little bubble. Regulus knew what it was. Two broken hearted people trying to hold one another close in the hopes of keeping themselves together but at times he found himself wondering if it was just that. When James looked at him a little too long or he caught himself mesmerised by the way James spoke. He thought there may be something more.

Of course he only thought those things in the dead of night. In daylight it never seemed the same, namely because in the day his brother was usually sitting not far away and would surely notice him ogling his best friend. Which was why Regulus was taken off guard one July morning when Sirius appeared from his bedroom and decreed the pair of them spend the day together.

‘You want us to go on a day out together?’ Regulus implored, ‘why?’

‘Not a day out together. I just want you both out of the flat for the day,’ Sirius said, rolling his eyes.

‘Why?’ Regulus grumbled.

‘Moony’s not well and I want to make him feel better,’ Sirius said, silencing James with a hand as he said, ‘and no you can't help. Not with what I’ve got planned anyway.’

Rather than being scarred for life Regulus had promptly made himself scarce though he’d only found himself down the street before he felt a presence by his side and looked up to find James smiling down on him.

‘Thought we could both find something to do,’ James said, ‘beats trudging around London on our own.’

Regulus hadn't been able to refuse, even if he had he doubted James would’ve heard him with the amount of ideas he had been rhyming off as they strolled the streets of London. To Regulus’ surprise though they stayed away from the alley opting to spend the morning in a muggle café before wandering to the local park. They wandered around the large pond it held for a while before taking a seat on the grassy knoll next to it and watching the ducks swim by. There wasn’t much talking whilst they sat there, as if they’d run out of things to say without Sirius or Remus as a buffer or that their normal topics of conversation were somehow off limits in the daylight.

Though after a while he could feel James watching him and when he turned he was, his arms resting back behind him as he watched the younger boy closely. Regulus turned away self-consciously as if he could fend off whatever was going to come from James mouth though he could sense it coming.

‘So,’ James started, ‘are you looking forward to school?’

‘No,’ Regulus said dully, turning his attention to plucking grass from the ground.

‘Why not?’ James asked, ‘it’s your last year isn't it? I mean the exams are shit but it’s a fun one.’

‘Yeah real fun when everyone knows you're staying at your brother’s because your mums disowned you both for being as bent as a hundred galleon coin.’

‘They’ll not care,’ James reasoned, sitting up and watching Regulus. His face was stoic and poised but he could see the way his lip quivered before he muttered, ‘it’s gossip. Of course they’ll care.’

‘Yeah I guess,’ James said, watching him sadly. The pair fell quiet with Regulus staring out at the ducks on the pond, swimming gracefully along to murky water, whilst James watched him. He knew he probably didn’t have a right to ask, that it was none of his business, but he had found this weird understanding with Regulus that he hadn't expected. He didn’t know if it was an instilled politeness within the boy that forced him to continue the conversation whenever James started, which granted was so frequent his mother had once remarked he’d be able to start a conversation in an empty room, or whether he’d come to like James the way James had come to like Regulus. But whatever it was he found that whenever he asked a question Regulus would answer it. Whatever burden he offloaded he’d listen to. Whatever curiosity he proffered would be met with a smile and an eye roll but accepted all the same. James liked it and, curious, he found himself asking another question.

‘How did you know?’ he asked, causing grey eyes to glance in his direction, dark brows fusing together as he tried to get a hold on what James was asking. James could practically see his train of thought before he replied, ‘that I was gay?’

‘Yeah,’ James said, pushing himself up until he was sitting beside him, an understanding yet curious expression on his face. Regulus tensed and shuffled under the scrutiny.

‘Why do you want to know?’ Regulus asked quietly.

‘Dunno,’ James shrugged, ‘just curious I guess.’

Regulus could feel his heart hammering in his chest. He’d never really spoken about it before, his friends had assumed but not pried and besides one tense conversation with Sirius it’d sort of faded into the background. It was just a part of him. Like being a Black was. Not something he wanted scrutinised and poked at. Except it was James who was asking. James, with his carefree, unbelievably understanding attitude to everyone. James who was watching him closely, a sympathetic smile on his plump lips.

‘Guess I’ve always known,’ Regulus uttered after a moment.

‘That’s what Moony says,’ James sighed, ‘well he said he didn’t know know until we all went girl mad. But Pads said it came out of the blue. Like it was about Moony not boys you know. Is that what it’s like for you?’

‘Well considering I’ve never had a Moony I don’t think so,’ Regulus said, his heart still thudding.

‘Yeah I guess,’ James said, looking as though he was deep in thought as the furrowing of his brow caused his glasses to slip further down his nose, ‘so how do you know?’

‘How did you know you liked girls,’ Regulus challenged, though he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear it. It was one thing to hear about all the ways his relationship had gone wrong and all the things he no longer liked about Lily; it was another to hear what he actually liked.

‘Fair point,’ James said, ‘but maybe I don’t. Maybe no one does.’

‘What?’ Regulus asked, confused.

‘Well Pads thought he liked girls but what if it doesn’t work like that. What if you like what you’re told to like until you’re proven wrong,’ James said, looking up at the boy though as he noticed the gentle drop of Regulus’ jaw he shifted rubbing the back of his neck. But Regulus persisted.

‘Wait so you think I’m gonna kiss some girl and be straight,’ Regulus scoffed, trying not to feel hurt. Was it possible James was only okay with being gay when it came to his best friends. When it was Sirius only having eyes for Remus and not any boy that walked by? Was it possible James Potter was just as narrow minded and stuffy as most pure-blooded wizards seemed to be? Regulus prayed that wasn’t true but given the way James became shifty and moved away from him he felt his stomach churn.

‘Never mind,’ James said, standing up and dusting the grass from his backside, ‘let's head back, they're bound to be done by now.’

‘Eugh don’t,’ Regulus said as he climbed up, simultaneously grateful for the distraction and abhorred at the idea of what Sirius was up to.

‘Let’s just hope they stuck to the bedroom,’ James said, offering him a cheeky grin and darting out of his way as Regulus went to shove him.

Fortunately Remus and Sirius were both up and in the living room, fully dressed, when the pair got back to the flat. And though Remus seemed tired they seemed happy to relive James’ retelling of their day out as they watched TV. However as they got to the duck pond, James conveniently left out the conversation they’d had which only made it blare in Regulus’ mind and so for distraction he stayed out on the balcony reading once more until it got far too cold to bear. When he did get inside however Remus was curled up on the couch, his head in the lap of Sirius, who was watching TV, albeit by trying to navigate his head around James who was standing in front of the screen.

‘Please Pads,’ James whined.

‘No,’ Sirius said.

‘It’s one night,’ James reasoned.

‘I don’t mind,’ Remus said, though he barely got the words out of his mouth before he yawned.

‘We’ve been out all bloody week,’ Sirius said, ‘Moony wants a night off.’

‘And he’s said you can go without him!’ James challenged, ‘or can you two not be apart for ten minutes?’

‘Reverse psychology isn’t going to work on him. You’ll just put him in a bad mood,’ Regulus said as he slipped into his chair, earning himself a glare from James and a wry smile from Sirius who knew he was right.

‘Look one night off isn’t the end of the world,’ Sirius reasoned, ‘and nothings stopping you from going out you know.’

‘I can't go out on my own, that's just sad,’ James pouted, folding his arms across him.

‘Ask Pete?’ Remus reasoned.

‘He’s going on holiday tomorrow,’ James said, ‘he never lasts long anyway.’

‘Well take Reg if you’re so hard up,’ Sirius said.

‘Excuse me?’ Regulus scoffed.

‘Pads he’s underage,’ Remus said, though the way he glanced at the younger boy signalled he was trying to get him out of going rather than a disapproval of underage drinking.

‘And?’ Sirius said rolling his eyes, ‘we got served underage he’ll be fine. And it’ll stop him from moaning.’

‘Do I get a say in this?’ Regulus asked looking between the three of them only that didn’t last long as James was in his space immediately, pulling him up and grabbing his coat as he said, ‘nope. You’re coming whether you like it or not.’

Needless to say, Regulus' first time in a muggle club didn’t go down all that well. He had not minded the pub, that was easy going and James actually spoke to him then. He’d even been so happy to have someone come out with him he insisted on buying every drink. Only the more he’d drunk the more boisterous he’d gotten. Their conversations turned to drunken nonsense with James intent on bringing anyone they saw into the group. That was how they’d ended up at the club, Regulus stood in the corner nursing a gin and tonic as he watched James move from girl to girl throwing out cheesy chat up line after cheesy chat up line with unmovable confidence. Regulus watched them fawning over him, the dorky self-assurance he had a charm for ninety percent of them. The way it was for Regulus in every moment but this one. After an hour of watching him Regulus could take no more and so as another girl sashayed back to her giggling friends he presented himself at James’ side. He looked confused to see him, as if he’d forgotten they were even there together but he smiled at him nonetheless, a smile that dimmed as Regulus said, ‘I’m going home.’

‘What?’ James asked, ‘you can't.’

‘Why not? So I can sit and watch you flirt with every girl who walks past,’ Regulus said rolling his eyes, ‘no thanks.’

‘You can’t just go,’ James protested.

‘I just want to go to bed,’ Regulus sighed, ‘I’ll see you back at the flat.’

And before James could utter another protestation he was weaving through the mass of sweaty bodies until he was finally out into the small reception area only before he got out the door he was dragged into an alcove, club goers and security moving past the pair of them as if they weren’t there. James looked flushed, his cheeks tinged with pink and his hair pushed back from his forehead as he looked down at him and said, ‘Reg don’t go.’

‘Why not?’ Regulus said.

‘Cos I don’t want you to,’ James said.

‘So you’ve got someone to drag your arse home when-‘

And then his snappy retort was cut off because he was up against the wall, James’ body against his as he kissed him fiercely. Regulus went limp allowing himself to be kissed before James pulled back with a small smile on his face, that self-assured nature never failing him, ‘told you I didn’t want you to go.’

They hadn't spent long in the club after that, a grimy club in east London was alright for a first kiss Regulus supposed but he wanted James to himself and so they quickly headed back to the flat. And where their nights had been chalked with talking it turned to more, the same give and take they'd had before as they learned more about one another, shared more than they ever had before. It wasn’t easy. It was new territory for the pair of them and it felt like if they spoke about it it’d all come crashing down, the intangible turned disastrous. So it lived between them in stolen moments and knowing glances.

That’s how Regulus came to be lying in his brother's bed, James’ head in his lap as he played with his hair. It was baking, the sun blaring through the windows and radiating the room but Regulus had no desire to move. That was coming soon enough, he was due back at Hogwarts in a matter of weeks which meant an end or at least a change to whatever this was.

‘You’re quiet,’ James said, turning to rest his chin on his arm that was splayed across Regulus’ thigh.

‘Just thinking,’ Regulus said, running his fingers through his hair.

‘About?’ James asked.

‘Me going back to school,’ Regulus admitted, trying to ignore the lump in his throat.

‘It’s ages off yet,’ James said quietly.

‘Two weeks,’ Regulus corrected.

‘So?’ James murmured.

‘So…’ Regulus hesitated, ‘so what if you forget about me?’

‘Bollocks,’ James said, rolling his eyes.

‘James,’ Regulus mumbled but he wasn't listening but sitting up and pulling Regulus with him until they were face to face, that self-assured smile on his face.

‘How could I?’ James said, ghosting his finger along the razor-sharp line of Regulus’ jaw.

‘Because you’ll be here living a proper life and I’ll just be a kid at school,’ Regulus mumbled, again amazed at how open he could be when it came to him, ‘it’s not even like anyone knows.’

‘You said you didn’t want to tell anyone,’ James reasoned.

‘Yeah because…well it’s different for me,’ Regulus said.

‘Why?’

‘Because I’m not…you’re my first everything and I’m…’ he didn’t finish fearing the look in James’ eyes if he mentioned the word rebound would confirm the fears he’d been having.

‘Well no, you’re not my first, well you kind of are in a way,’ James said, interlacing his fingers with Regulus, smiling as he murmured, ‘but you are my favourite…and I guess I didn’t know I could love someone like this.’

‘James,’ Regulus mumbled. He wanted to say it back. But he couldn’t make the words come, not before there was a jangle of keys in the front door spurring them into action and breaking them apart.

After that he didn’t really know how to bring it up and as the deadline for Regulus to leave crept closer he felt as though to utter it, to speak it into existence would only make it harder to leave. Because he didn’t want to leave. He wanted to lock himself away and stay with James forever no more so than when he felt him pull away, their time together curtailed by Sirius’ new need to see his brother as much as humanly possible, even going so far as to host a party before he was destined to return to Hogwarts. The night before the dreaded get together was the last moment alone he’d gotten with James, the pair of them huddled on the couch, the tv on in the background, murmuring to itself as James said, ‘I er, stopped by flat today.’

‘Your flat?’ Regulus asked.

‘Yeah,’ James said casually, ‘picked up some stuff.’

‘Was Lily there?’ Regulus asked, hating the tightness that came into his voice just as much as he hated the way James shifted uncomfortably.

‘Yeah,’ James said, ‘she um, asked if she could come to the party. Seeing as everyone else is.’

‘What did you say?’ Regulus asked though he was sure he knew the answer. James Potter was not one to leave a person out, no matter the circumstances.

‘Well I said I’d ask,’ James mumbled, ‘but it’s okay by me.’

‘You don’t care?’ Regulus asked, unable to see how weeks of moping over the girl had suddenly transpired into not being bothered though he hoped that was due to his handiwork.

‘No,’ James said, ‘we erm, talked it out.’

‘What did she say?’ Regulus asked.

‘She said she was sorry,’ James said, ‘I said it was okay.’

‘That was all she said?’ Regulus pressed.

‘Yeah,’ James muttered. Regulus was watching him closely but in a manner unlike himself James wasn’t looking at him as he spoke, keeping his eyes on the TV as if he was avoiding the scrutiny. As if he was avoiding Regulus entirely. After a summer of nothing but raw honesty it was unsettling for Regulus to feel so out of his depth. He was sure there was something more to it, James wasn’t exactly hard to read, but he didn’t feel as though he was allowed to press on. The fact that he had withheld himself the past week meaning he would be a hypocrite to demand answers. Instead he swallowed the lump in his throat and said, ‘well if you don’t mind it’s okay with me.’

And that was it. Whatever James had held back leaving him here, thinking of everything that had brought them to this moment. It all passed through his mind like a blur. And yet now the only thing he could think of now was the way James was looking at him, guilt in his eyes as he cleared his throat and said, ‘she’s right.’

‘What?’ Regulus whispered.

‘It’s nothing to do with you,’ James said, not meeting his eye, ‘it’s none of your business.’

‘Well sorry I interfered,’ Regulus said tightly, whatever snappy quip he could offer dying on his tongue as he realised it would do him no favours, not when everyone who was watching the interaction was bound to be on their side. After all, what was Regulus to them? A sharp-tongued brat. Sirius’ kid brother. A reason to come to a party and nothing more.

And as it seemed from the way James looked at him, his hazel eyes large and apologetic, now just a memory. Nothing more.

‘Yeah well in future keep your nose out of other people's relationships,’ Lily snapped.

‘Alright you’ve said your piece,’ Sirius said, getting between them as Regulus shrunk back against the wall, ‘he’s said he’s sorry.’

‘Pads is right everyone back to dancing,’ Remus said, stepping in front of the boy and blocking him from view as he spied the glassy look in his eyes. Regulus didn’t thank him. He barely made a noise as he slipped into the bedroom and closed the door behind him, locking it with his wand before he sank to the ground and allowed the tears to fall. 

[nartml]

it's not "entirely made up", which is the entire reason people are complaining lol have you seen what the fandom has done to the nazi allegory?

i agree that the people complaining are toxic, but also, a lot of the changes are both misogynistic and homophobic, and there's a lot of toxic masculinity and abusive romance tropes being romanticized, are people not allowed to call them out? representation is important, isn't it?

you literally tagged your post, adding to the toxicity

most new works follow the "new model" and people who write different things are harrassed (i've seen people be harrassed simply because they don't ship wolfstar). how are we supposed to change that if we don't call it out?

discourse in fandom is normal. you can just as easily follow your own advice and not read it/block it.

Y'all are quick lmao

Okay, okay, so, to get the easy stuff out the way:

I unfortunately made another hasty post, I didn't elaborate enough, that's definitely on me.

In my defense, it's 2:30am, I need to be up in five hours at the latest, and I saw the fifth post hating on jegulus and/or other fun parts of the fandom that I genuinely cannot find anything objectively problematic about.

I got pissed.

I tagged my post, and I agree that I further fueled the discourse.

This has been something that I've done before, unfortunately. I'm used to thinking of tags as part of screaming into the void, I'll be sure to erase them after this.

But as you said, it's normal for there to be discourse in fandom.

And honestly, that's what I usually do. Ignore it. Like I do with a lot of things I don't agree with on the internet.

I don't remember contributing to this whole ordeal before tbh, and I've been here for a decent amount of time.

But I got so ticked off, I wanted to get it off my chest for once.

Lost my grip there, but I honestly didn't think too deeply about it.

Anyway, yes, yes, obviously it's not entirely made up. We have the HP series, aka the source material, in which we do see quite a bit of Remus and Sirius.

I was more referring to the fact that every single other character in the marauders era, is, in fact, made up.

It's undeniable that, despite the bits and pieces we've heard throughout the books, we can't possibly have any sort of concrete understanding of how these characters were during their Hogwarts days, before the war.

Not only because the bits and pieces don't in any way make up a whole picture, but also because some of them might've been entirely unreliable.

So these characters; younger Remus and Sirius, as well as James, Peter, Lily, Regulus etc etc etc, have more or less been crafted on very arbitrary ideas.

They are made up, and very rarely reconcilable to their adult counterparts, which makes sense from several standpoints. (E.g. their canon characters have been severely beaten down and traumatized. AUs take place in entirely different settings; the context changes entirely, and so do the characters)

Now, as for the nazi allegory, I assume you're referring to a) morons who are glorifying the death eater tattoo (jesus christ), or b) the 'Slytherin Skittles'?

In b's case, I'd wager it started with Regulus and the potential to explore the Black Family dynamics, which then escalated to giving him his own friend group and creating entertaining dynamics between them.

However, I genuinely do not see the harm in this.

It hardly matters that they're canonically deaths eaters, or that they were most likely blood supremacists and horrible people; or whatever else could've been going on with them.

They were so barely mentioned in the actual story. Doesn't matter what effect their existence had on the story and how it served the narrative, because they were barely ever directly there.

We know next to nothing for fact. So it's next to impossible for most people to care for their actions in canon, and just see them as blank canvases.

I can't really fault them for that.

People project whatever they want on characters that are firmly established and thoroughly explored; characters that are borderline non-existent are free real estate.

And yes, changes can totally be problematic.

A prime example is definitely the hyperfeminization of Sirius, to make wolfstar fit the classic heteronormativity that plagues queer ships.

As for the romanticization of abusive romance tropes, I honestly have never seen it.

I mean, I hear people complaining about it, but I swear to fuck, it feels like you guys are fighting ghosts sometimes 😭

Either it's a part of the fandom I've somehow steered clear of, despite being balls deep in it, or some people are exaggerating, which isn't out of the realm of possibility, but I kind of doubt that's the case.

As for toxic masculinity, again, I literally haven't seen it. Hand to my heart, scout's honour, I have not.

Hyperfeminization? Definitely.

Toxic masculinity? Macho men? Written in any context that's not challenging it, and is promoting it? Nope.

Representation is important, and that was the other part my post was based on.

I've seen people hate on the liberties others have taken to explore gender through these characters, which ticked me off even more.

And this is coming from a cis individual, who doesn't really fuck with he/they Sirius, they/them James, etc etc.

I don't think that there's any harm in people creating/enjoying content that is representative of their struggles/experiences with gender (or any other part of life).

Exactly because in the marauders fandom, characters are incredibly flexible, for aforementioned reasons.

Blank canvases, remember?

Usually this hate, from what I've seen, comes from people who prefer sticking to the canon part of this whole story.

In which case, totally, the 'new model' is very. Very. Unrealistic.

(There are definitely harmful headcanons out there. Even within this context, there also exists content that fetishizes the very thing I just defended. But I physically can't sit here and list off every problematic thing that has happened in this fandom. I don't have the energy. And that's not what the post is about anyway)

-"People who write different things are harassed".

Yes, glad that you get my point, even though I obviously didn't get it across.

This goes both ways. This goes all ways. Yeah, people who don't ship wolfstar get hate.

But people who headcanon Regulus as trans get it too.

People who prefer Jily get hate.

But jegulus shippers have their hands full as well.

People giggling over silly headcanons that are honestly just that: silly; can't catch a break.

What was that, you like the new model? Here's all the ways I think it sucks ass.

Oh, you prefer canon? What a loser, you're in the wrong fandom.

Ultimately, the joy gets drained out of everything.

This is meant to be fun. This is meant to be a break from real life stress.

It's not meant to leave you exhausted because you're too busy apologizing about not taking something too seriously, or defending your ship preferences.

In the end, however, I obviously get what you're saying. There are harmful changes that deserve to be pointed out.

But I never said that they didn't. Calling out the notions that are inherently problematic when perpetuated is important.

Constructive criticism is welcome. It's crucial. It only adds, it deepens people's understanding of media and brings attention to problematic aspects of certain interpretations.

That's not what I was referencing in my original post; at least, not intentionally.

I was talking about how so many people love to mindlessly complain about things they don't like, without actually bringing up any substantial points.

The only goal is to tear other people down.

As we've agreed, some of these changes are problematic.

But so is the way some people convey their disagreements.

Some of y'all use your complaints about new character developments to also hide your general prejudice against something.

Like, there's no need to get this heated over genderfluid Sirius.

In this particular instance, it's because the general concept of the 'new model' is pretty mainstream, so it's hard to avoid it. So I know that I'm being a bit unfair when I say, 'ignore it'

Ignoring it is rarely easy though, no matter how mainstream or minor.

It should be, because logically this is all fictional and it doesn't matter if someone dislikes your OTP, or if you think someone's hc is painfully unrealistic.

But we can't help it. It's impossible to care about how fictional something is when it means so much to us.

And seeing something antithetical to our interpretation can feel like some sort of personal attack, even when it's really not.

Part of it also stems from how, when you see fifty other people throwing in their two cents, you also want to.

Because it's a base instinct to want to be heard.

All that said, ignoring it, despite the circumstances, is often the best way to go, because a lot of the time it can be irrational.

Hating on someone because they don't like your ship can be irrational.

Starting a fight over someone's differing interpretation of a character can be irrational.

Think critically before you speak, and be careful when phrasing your points.

Being respectful is crucial, and if you're not getting the same courtesy, then stepping back is the smarter choice.

I'm still working on always maintaining these things myself.

I've been doing a bang-on job, broadly speaking.

I had a slight moment of weakness earlier :P

(For those wondering, I took the og post down. It wasn't anything tragic, I just said that most people who complain about the fandom's toxicity actively contribute to it when they hate on stuff others enjoy.

In the tags I went off a bit, my ultimate points being that the fun is often sucked out of everything, and that if I personally don't like something, I avoid it, stick to my stuff, and don't venture into others' spaces if I'm not willing to be open minded.

But I was definitely more aggressive with the delivery, which was my bad. I hate it when I break my own rules on how I want to behave on here.)

Anyway, so sorry for this long rant, and sorry if I've missed something or made a bad/harmful point. I'm borderline asleep.

And it's now 4:10am and I got too absorbed in this *sigh*

[once-upon-an-imagine]

WIPs

so, since this has worked in the past, I thought I would ask again...

SEND ME THE NAME OF A WIP and I'll share a piece of the story!

so, there are two different ways that you can actually request this now:

first, you can take a look at the Masterlists on my page to see what the upcoming fics are and let me know which one you'd like a sneek peek of 😊 (I'm also putting it below if you don't want to go all the way there 😂)

Masterlists:

Stranger Things Harry Potter: Marauders Era Harry Potter: Golden Trio Era

or, since I don't have all the summaries updated there because I've had a few requests in the past few weeks, if you would like just a random WIP, I currently have 38 inbox messages, and 7 drafts, so you can also just say like Inbox #something, or Drafts #5 for example

I will have more free time this weekend AND I also have all next week off work so, please request away and help me get out of this horrible writer's block 😁 thank you all so much for your patience btw! love you, dearies ❤️

Stranger Things

Steve Harrington

How Sweet It Is

[Henderson!Reader] Your favorite part about working at Scoops Ahoy is working with your crush; Steve Harrington. Everything was going normally one day until you see the next customer in line is your ex-boyfriend with his new girlfriend and Steve noticed.  

Our Last Summer

[Sinclair!Reader] Your brother and his friends were certain that you were dating someone but hiding it from them. At the same time, Dustin is sure that Steve is dating someone and hiding it from him. 

Wild World

[Newby!Reader] After your dad died, everyone saw how the light in you shot down as you pushed everyone away. For weeks your friends, especially Steve, have been trying whatever they can to get you to open up again. One day, when you don’t come home, everyone is looking for you but Steve is the one who finds you. And he finally gets you back.

Always On My Mind

Sequel to You Keep Me Hanging On if the reader chooses Steve.

With Or Without You

You dive into the Lover’s Lake before anyone can stop you and come back to tell everyone about the Watergate. But then, something pulls you back to the Upside Down and all you can see are bats around you so you feel like this is the end. Until you suddenly see Steve Harrington coming back for you and saving you. (mixing three similar requests)

How Will I Know [Chapter 3]

You have walked the halls of Hawkins High unseen. If it wasn’t because Eddie Munson and his Hellfire Club had found you, you probably wouldn’t even have any friends. You knew someone like your all-time crush Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington wouldn’t notice you in a million years. Until you get paired up for a project and he finally learns your name.  

Eddie Munson

Alone Together

Eddie has always noticed you. You have always noticed Eddie. But neither one of you has ever done anything about it. Until one day, Eddie sits with you at the library and you smile at him

S.O.S.

When you finally get a chance to play your favorite songs with the school orchestra, your boyfriend, the one person you really wanted there doesn’t show up.

When It’s Love

Sequel to You Keep Me Hanging On if the reader chooses Eddie.

There Are Worse Things I Could Do [Chapter 4]

[Harrington!Reader] Your senior year was supposed to be the best one in your life. But when Jason broke up with you and turned the entire school against you by spreading rumors about you, you can count with your hand the people that talk to you. Dustin, Mike, Lucas, Max, Nancy, and Robin. But there might be a new one you can add to the list. One you never thought possible. Eddie Munson.

Argyle

Cielito Lindo

[Byers!Reader] Argyle is staying with your family when his parents are out of town. You know he’s been feeling down because he has to celebrate his birthday without them. So, you try to do something to cheer him up. (Sequel to Build Me Up, Buttercup)

Take A Chance On Me

You have been in love with your best friend since you can remember, but you’ve never had the courage to tell him, fearing he might not feel the same. However, when you confide in Jonathan, he convinces you to finally take the leap. 

A Kind Of Magic

Bullies are something you’ve had to deal with your whole life. You try to ignore it and not let it bother you. But the moment your boyfriend sees how people made fun of you, he immediately intervenes and stands up for you. (Warning: reader gets bullied for having a learning disability) 

Me Gustas Tu

When you go over to your best friend’s house after breaking up with your boyfriend, you get more than you were expecting. 

No Words

[Hopper!Reader]The first time Argyle went speechless was when he met you. Ironically, he’s the only person you have felt completely comfortable talking to.

(500 Miles) [Chapter 3]

[Hopper!Reader] After moving to California with your sister and your new family, you think maybe you’ll finally get some peace. But, of course, you are now driving across the country in your boyfriend’s pizza van, on your way back to Hawkins.

Billy Harrington

Highway To Hell

[Munson!Reader] When you are tired of your brother and your boyfriend arguing all the time, you come up with a plan that finally makes them work together and at least not murder each other.

***I actually have a lot more Billy requests but haven't updated the masterlist.

Steddie (Steve & Eddie)

A Sunday Kind Of Love

For six months, you had been fine with having a secret relationship with Steve Harrington and Eddie Munson. But that changes when a very special day for you approaches and you want them both by your side and for that to happen, a few rules might get broken.

Edge Of Seventeen

Against your boyfriends’ wishes, you decide it’s what’s best for everyone if you are the bait for Vecna. You stay back in the attic with Max and Lucas. Steve and Eddie try to make it back as quickly as they can but it might be too late. (Warning: reader is cursed by Vecna and gets hurt) 

Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now

Everyone in your group could feel the sexual tension between you, Steve, and Eddie. Which is probably why they all ganged up and planned to have the three of you share a bed to see if you would finally admit your feelings. 

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Marauders Era

Scars To Your Beautiful

[Black!Reader] You have always been considered the ‘least beautiful’ of the Black family. You’ve heard everyone call your cousins and even your brothers that. But not you. Until someone does.

Sirius Black

You’re Still The One

[Potter!Reader] When Sirius comes out of Azkaban he comes to find you and Harry. And he’s surprised to see someone else there too.

Just Give Me A Reason [Chapter 5]

[Snape!Reader] Coming back for another year in Hogwarts meant you and your brother were away from your worst tormentor. But when your school tormentor finds out about it, things are about to change and you are not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. (Warning: mentions of abuse)

*** I think I have more Sirius requests but haven't been updated

Remus Lupin

Linger

When you finally have the courage to ask Remus on a date, it did not go as well as you had wished. At all.

Too Good At Goodbyes [Chapter 6]

Twelve years ago, Lily and James Potter were brutally murdered. Twelve years ago, Sirius Black was sent to Azkaban for a crime he did not commit. Twelve years ago Remus Lupin left you to take care of a one-year-old Harry on your own. Twelve years ago Severus Snape was the only person who was there for you. And now, Remus is back to teach at Hogwarts with you, as Harry courses his third year, and Sirius Black escaped Azkaban.

*** I think I also have a few more Remus requests

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Harry Potter (Golden Trio Era)

Charlie Weasley

She Is Love

Charlie loves to make you blush and nervous because he knows you have a crush on him and he has a crush on you, but he doesn’t like it when someone else makes you blush or nervous.  

I’m Yours

Even if you’ve been friends with the twins forever, your boyfriend Charlie still feels a little bit jealous of how close you are with his two younger brothers.  

*** I also have a few more Charlie Weasley requests in my inbox

Bill Weasley

Get Outta My Dreams

Bill falls in love with his little brothers’ best friend but he is certain that she would not feel the same after seeing him with his werewolf scars.  

[theyraylovehate]

Hey yall! So this is a bit different from my normal posts but I was think why not try?

So I'm looking for someone that might want to do a one-on-one roleplay! I am open to homemade or fandom-based ones with anyone of any gender identity!

This is going to be alot of info but this is me just putting everything that I can think of that might interest someone!

Gender/Preferences

So I tend to play more AFAB/feminine characters because I am nonbinary but I do have experience playing male presenting characters. I'm open to whatever gender you would like to play! Male, female, nonbinary, Trans, ect. Whatever you are comfortable with I'm down with!

Fandoms/Homemade plots

For fandom based plots I am a bit more picky especially if you are wanting to follow closely to the plot. I personally need to be confident in the show/movie/book unless you want to base the plot off of an idea from it, for example taking the idea of Camp Halfblood from the Percy Jackson series and building our own world around it.

Fandoms I'm 100% comfortable with role-playing:

Marvel

DC (including young justice)

Maze Runner

Harry Potter/Marauders Era

Riverdale

Stranger Things

Divergent

The Umbrella Academy

Greek Mythology

X-Men

The Walking Dead

The Walking Dead Game

IT (2017)

Desendants

The Hunger Games

*List is subject to change, roleplay may differ between book and movie adaptations*

As of pairings, I tend to do OCxOC or OCxCanon where we would play eachother's crushes. I usually avoid CanonXCanon.

Homemade

I have done way to many homemade roleplays to count so I have come to find I prefer certain genres.

Genres I am comfortable with:

High fantasy

Modern fantasy

Dystopian

Sci-fi

Historical

And of course if you have another genre you like, you are more than welcome to bring it up, this is simply what I find myself doing the most and enjoying.

Triggers/Warnings

Triggers and Warnings will be discussed prior to beginning the planning stages. These are very important to me in keeping not only my partner but myself safe and comfortable.

My personal triggers:

Any sort of noncon

Explicit talk of r*pe (besides in a coming out way)

Warnings:

Warnings are anything that would be considered something that you would mention at the beginning of a piece that you think is important for your reader to know.

Any warnings I list below that I am comfortable with role-playing are 100% optional and if any conflict with your triggers they will be scrapped.

Warnings I am comfortable with adding:

Self harm/suicidal thoughts

Eating disorders

Sexual acts (consensual)

Sever Angst

Depression/Anxiety disorders

Mental disorders

Violence/Gore

Writing Style

I don't give a set length I'm expecting a person to write to that's ridiculous. All I want is for the lengths of our messages to somewhat match to a reasonable extent. I.E. if I send a two paragraph message, I'm expecting more than a sentence. I've had to carry roleplays before and it's not the most enjoyable experience for me.

I am comfortable with writing in first or third perspective, whichever feels appropriate for the roleplay at hand. We just need to agree with one another on which one we will be using.

Character/World building

I'm very big on character and world building, especially with a homemade plot. As of characters, I want to be able to either see or visualize in my mind what they look like and how they're acting within the roleplay so I go into some pretty deep character building.

For world building, with Fandom based plots we simply need to agree if we will be following the plot of the show/movie/book or if we will be vering off on our own path.

Homemade plots I tend to delve deeper into. I want to create a well rounded world that we can shape and mold as we please. When a world and bland and flat, it can be hard to take it in the directions we want.

I hope this interests someone! If you are, please message me on here or at discord at ray.4602

My time zone is CST so I may not get back to you right away but I will!

[emmionewatser]

Incorrect HP Quote #7

Hermione: What did you guys get in your yearbook?

Luna: 'Prettiest Smile'

Neville: 'Nicest Personality'

Harry: 'Mostly likely to start a bar fight'

Ginny: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Teenagers Part 6

Harry Potter Marauders Era 

Link to Part 5 

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader 

Rating: M

________

The next day on the train, James was silent as the grave. After realizing just what you were going to do in the room of requirement with Regulus he had seemingly lost the ability to speak. Sirius, meanwhile, had come to the determination that Regulus was responsible and probably had enough sense to “use something.” After lying in the dark for a good amount of time the previous night Sirius decided that he was just going to butt out of the situation and pray that nothing bad would happen to you.

You seemed happy with Regulus and his brother, by the grace of God, seemed happier than he ever had since the day that he was born. Regulus was actually smiling and looking thrilled with life. He didn’t have that sour “I hate everyone” expression that Sirius was so used to seeing on his brother’s face.

Hopefully Reg will protect her from the cult. If not, well, I’ll step in then.

Sirius thought as Regulus shoved James out of his way. Regulus had one hand intertwined with yours as you hurried behind him.

“Out of the way, Potter.”

Regulus snapped, enjoying the dark look on James’ face as you shot your older brother a silent “sorry.”

“I should stomp your face in, Black.��

“Come, Reggie, just let it go.”

You said as the two of you disappeared into a compartment that included Evan Rosier. Evan smirked at James as if daring him to come in and say something snarky.

Arriving back in London, Sirius followed James off of the train. It had taken James about half the trip to calm down over the little encounter with Regulus earlier.

“I swear to Merin, I am going to have a long talk with mum and dad to see if they can get Y/n to break up with him. I don’t want Evan Rosier or any of those other trolls turning my lovely sister into a dark witch. It won’t happen. Nope. Won’t let it.”

Lily sighed. She was quickly getting sick of the awkwardness between James and yourself. Lily missed having you as a part of “the group.” It didn’t matter how many times that Lily, Dorcas, or Marlene begged you to come back (they even offered to invite Regulus too) to the group, you wouldn’t. You were still sweet as pie to them individually but it was as if the good feelings of friendship had vanished from everything.

“James, this has gone on long enough. You haven’t spoken to your sister in months. Like it or not, Y/n is still your sister and she’s happy. Can’t you just accept that?”

Lily asked in a pleading tone. James yanked his hand away before groaning and giving it back to Lily.

“How would you like it if Petunia dated Regulus?”

Lily smirked.

“We both know that won’t happen.”

“But what if?”

Lily sighed.

“I would try to be happy for her especially if she was happy.”

Lily replied, hoping that this would sway James. When he stopped walking and tilted his head to the side, both Lily and Sirius stopped too.

“Now I have fucking seen everything.”

James muttered as Lily and Sirius looked in the direction that James was staring in. You stood with Regulus talking to none other than Walburga and Orion Black. Sirius’ mouth dropped and had the sudden urge to run over and steal you with a shit-eating grin on his face. The cocky side was clearly present on Sirius' face but inside he was panicking. What if his mother tried to hurt you in front of all of these people? Would she be that bold? The better question was why the hell was she smiling and looking so...proud?

That was the last thing that Sirius ever expected to see on his mother’s face...a smile. She never smiled and if she did it was because she was making his life hell. Now here she stood talking to the daughter of who she considered “a blood traitor” smiling like an idiot as she talked away.

“I don’t believe this.”

Sirius commented. James nodded.

“Your mother knows how to smile. Of course, she is being nice since it's her little prince’s wish that she be kind to Y/n. If it was you, she would be throwing a raving tantrum.”

“Let's just go.”

Lily replied.

(meanwhile)

You stood talking to Walburga, who was being uncommonly kind to you. The moment that Regulus introduced you as his girlfriend she commented on what a pretty girl that you were and how she was pleased to see that her youngest son found such a nice girl. Even Orion commented on how nice you appeared to be and that they would be delighted for you to come to their family’s Christmas party.

“Y/n, there you are, sweetheart.”

You turned upon hearing your mother’s sweet voice. Walburga’s smile faded and the cold woman that Sirius described returned. Clearly, she was still fuming at your mother for “stealing her eldest son away.”

“Hi, mum.”

You said before hugging your mother than father. Your mother meanwhile, focused her attention on Walburga. She had noticed how Regulus’ quickly looked down at his feet and the sudden urge to try to take the youngest Black brother in returned full force.

“Walburga.”

She said in her pleasant casual tone. Walburga scowled as Orion reached down and grabbed her hand.

“Euphemia.”

She replied, coldly. Euphemia smiled as she watched you gently pet Regulus’ hand obviously trying to provide him some kind of comfort.

That’s my sweet girl.

Euphemia thought with a smile as she turned her attention back to Walburga.

“It seems that our children have taken a fancy for each other.”

Walburga nodded.

“Indeed. While you are here, Euphemia, I find this a fine opportunity to let you know that Regulus wishes for Y/n to come to our family’s Christmas party on the 23rd. We would love to have her.”

Euphemia’s normally kind smile faded and was suddenly replaced by a fearful one. Your mother reminded you of an overprotective mama bear that had been backed into a corner by some predator that wanted to eat her baby.

It was Regulus that spoke next. He quickly turned to Euphemia before his mother was able to speak.

“Mrs. Potter, may I speak with you alone?”

Euphemia nodded and followed Regulus a few feet away so she was out of earshot of Walburga and Orion.

“Yes, dear?”

Euphemia started as Regulus glanced over his shoulder. Walburga was giving him a questioning stare. He gave his mother a scowl until she turned back to you to start chatting again. Regulus had to thank Sirius for running away at the moment. Had he not bailed off, Regulus probably would have never been able to get Walburga under his thumb the way that he had. Now, if he wanted something, he would just tell his mother and she made it happen. If Regulus wanted a new broom….mother made it happen. A nice chocolate cake..all he had to say was how hungry he was. No longer did Walburga find using the cruciatus curse on “her baby” acceptable in the slightest. Regulus was the only heir that she had and he knew that she was aware of it.

“I know that you don’t trust my family, Mrs. Potter...and with good reason. I won’t let any harm come to Y/n. My mother has changed since you spoke with her last. I know how to control her and my father well. I love Y/n and I wouldn’t let anything happen to her.”

Euphemia gave Regulus a sad mother-like expression.

“I’m sure that you do, dear but I am afraid that my daughter won’t receive the same kind of care that she receives at home.”

Regulus looked down. He was silent for a moment as he decided upon his next move. Being “himself” probably wasn’t going to work. Maybe being pitiful would work in his favor?

“I understand your worry, Mrs. Potter. All that I am asking for is a chance. If anything bad starts...I promise to get her out of there right away.”

Euphemia couldn’t help but think of how Regulus reminded her of a puppy that had been kicked one too many times.

“I’ll think about it.”

She finally replied. This made Regulus give her a small smile.

“Thank you.”

Returning back to where Walburga and Orion stood watching like hawks, Euphemia gave the other mother a small nod.

“I’ll think about if Y/n will be able to come. We’ll have an answer for you by the end of the week.”

Walburga nodded, clearly surprised with whatever Regulus had “done.” She was expecting to have to find some secretive way to get you to be able to come. If Regulus wanted his girlfriend at the party then she would find a way to get you there.

“Very well.”

Euphemia turned back to you with a sweet smile.

“Sweetheart, we need to be going. Your father is probably ready to go.”

You nodded before turning back to Regulus. This was the moment that you were dreading. You didn’t want to say goodbye for a few weeks. Since the two of you started dating, you hadn’t had many moments apart. Now here were a few weeks with no promise that your mother would even consider letting you go to the Black family’s home for the party.

“I’ll see you soon.”

Regulus softly said as his parents turned away to give the two of you a moment of privacy. What Regulus didn’t see was Walburga was watching the whole thing out of the corner of her eye. She couldn’t help but smile at how gentle Regulus seemed to be with you. The expression on his face was so different from the “Black family scowl” that he wore so well.

You, meanwhile, nodded as Regulus gently tilted your face to his before leaning down and giving you a soft kiss.

“I’ll miss you.”

You whispered. Regulus smiled.

“It's only a few weeks. I’ll write to you every day.”

You felt better with that promise before turning and going to join your mother. Euphemia wrapped her arm around your shoulder before guiding you off in the direction of your father and brother.

Over the next few days, both Euphemia and Fleamont realized how truly broken your relationship with James seemed to be. Both mother and father attempted to talk to James about how his behavior was appalling and that he needed to be a “big brother” and support you. James, however, wasn’t receptive.

“You are going to regret losing this year with Y/n, James. You will be graduating Hogwarts in a few months and will not see Y/n every day.”

Euphemia tried. James sat with his arms crossed over his chest as Fleamont decided to try his turn.

“Your mother is right, son. You have been so close with Y/n from the day that she was born. Do you really want to risk losing this closeness over a boy?”

James finally decided to speak. Sure, his parents were right. He was losing a lot of time with you and he knew it but that didn’t mean that he had to be happy about the relationship.

“I don’t like that boy and he will do nothing but hurt her. I want no part in witnessing it. Maybe you should talk to Y/n about birth control because all those two do is snog.”

James decided to at least leave out the fact that he was aware that you had given Regulus your v-card. He figured that his parents could put that part together themselves. Judging by how both Euphemia and Fleamont seemed surprised over said snogging, they would probably die knowing that their only daughter had her legs spread for a boy already. James wasn’t sure if he could even get the words out to tell them. Maybe some things were better left unsaid?

(2 days later)

You sat on the couch watching the muggle television that your father decided to purchase. It had been two days and you had already received four letters from Regulus. He seemed to be missing you as much as you were missing him. You smiled down at the latest letter on your lap where Regulus was fussing about his mother driving him nuts over a new suit for the Christmas party.

“Y/n, sweetheart?”

You looked up as Euphemia walked into the room.

“Hi, mum.”

You replied as she sat down beside you. She picked up the remote and pointed it to the TV (backward) to turn it off. You watched with a smile as she fussed over the remote before reaching out and showing her what to do.

“I hate this silly thing. I think that I am too old to be learning about these new things.”

Euphemia started as she looked at you carefully. She had been planning this talk since her conversation with James. It was going to be difficult for sure but certain things needed to be said before she became a grandmother earlier than planned.

“I think that we needed to have a mummy and daughter talk.”

You nodded, having a weird feeling about where this was going.

“Okay.”

Euphemia took a few breaths before speaking.

“It seems that Regulus is really taken with you.”

You nodded, twisting the ring that he had given you months ago. How were you supposed to tell your old fashioned mother that you were madly in love with the boy and felt like you were dying without him? The better question was when did you turn into such a lovesick “Mary Sue?”

“I love him, mother.”

Euphemia couldn’t help but smile.

“He told me that he loves you too. As your mum, I have a few things that I would like to say about that. First, I am thrilled that you are so happy. Your happiness is very important to your father and I. The two of you are darling together. This Christmas party...is it important to you?”

You decided to seize this moment to get what you wanted.

“It is. Mum, I know that you are worried about Mrs. Black and I totally understand why. I am still bothered at how Sirius was when he came to us...you know how much I love Sirius. I love him just as I do James. I don’t, however, think that Regulus would let her nor anyone else harm me.”

Euphemia sighed. This was harder than she expected. As much as she wanted you to be happy not worrying about Walburga wasn’t something that she could just “turn off.”

“Your father and I have decided to let you go. I suppose that we should find you a new dress to wear. We can go shopping tomorrow if you would like?”

You almost jumped off of the couch with this little bit of information. Never in a million years, did you expect your mum and dad to agree to let you go. You had a bad feeling that they were going to say no (especially when James and Sirius put in their input).

“Really? Mum, thank you so much! I would love for us to go shopping together.”

Euphemia reached out and took your hand into hers. She ran her thumb over each of your knuckles.

“I noticed that Regulus has your locket around his neck.”

You blushed at that before holding your left hand out that had his ring on it. “We kind of traded.”

Euphemia wanted to cry at the sight of the Black family ring on your hand. Maybe this relationship was a lot more serious than she expected? Possibly, Regulus was the one? Euphemia suddenly had the feeling that she and Walburga would be dealing with each other for the rest of their natural lives.

“Your father and I did something like that when we started dating. Y/n, this is going to be the awkward part for both of us. I realize now how serious this relationship is. Maybe we should consider putting you on some form of birth control.”

You winced.

“Mum…”

Euphemia shook her head.

“Let me finish. Y/n, I’m old. I’ve been around for a while and know how hormones work. I am only wanting to protect you. You are a very responsible girl but if the two of you should want to sleep together...I want to make sure that you are safe.”

You blushed, knowing the next statement was going to be a real shock for Euphemia to hear.

“We did use something.”

Euphemia’s face went pale upon hearing that. She blinked a few times before fanning her face.

“Already? You used something?”

You closed your eyes nodding.

“Yes, mum. There are spells...all kinds of charms but if you want to go to your...your….”

Why was it so awkward to talk to your mother about sex? Maybe it was because the two of you had never really had this kind of conversation before? Sure, there was the initial talk about “how sex” happened and that was painful enough. Both James and yourself were wincing and blushing the whole time. It was as painful for Fleamont and Euphemia as it was for their children.

“Gynecologist?”

Euphemia finished your sentence as you blushed harder. You could only nod as your mother considered her next sentence.

“Yes, Y/n. I think that is a good idea. For the time being, let’s keep this between us. There are some things that your father and brother don’t need to know.”

_______

@amelie-black @truly-insatiable @fandomsxxregulus @exhsle @quuenofblacks @spiderxalmighty @whymyparentscheckmyphone @teletubiswszpilkach @fific7 @criminalyetminimal @bennyberry @jessyballet @knreidy1 @hazncalsgal @acciosiriusblack @lucasfilms77 @brokencasbutt67-writer @authoressskr @fandom-trash-worth-it @hankypranky @summer-novak @li0nh34rt @tas898 @shaylybaby2032 @emiwrites3reads @shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @knight-of-gleefulness @marichromatic @stuckinsaudi1 @untoldshortsofthefandoms @sprnaturallover @deanwherescas @wontlookaway @shitfaceddaniel @mycuddlycorner

[amara-scott]

Confessions

Movie: Harry Potter (Maurauders Era) Characters: Remus Lupin x Reader Categories: Fluffy and Sweet

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It was a cold winter morning when Lilly woke me up to join her at breakfast. I groggily complied, following her without having exchanged a word. I am not a morning person. And she very much knows that. But she is my friend and leaving her to go alone on a Saturday morning would be too cruel. Simply because of one person. James Potter- we all know they are meant to be. They are both just too stubborn. Well, Lilly is. James would marry her right there and then.

"Thanks again, (y/n), you know I can't handle him. Especially not in the mornings." I just smirk, nodding.

But my smirk is wiped off my tired face as soon as I catch a glimpse of Remus. Remus Lupin. Aka the death of me. Those brown locks and shy smile drive me mad. Sure I didn't tell anybody, everyone would make fun of me for it. Just like they do with Potter and Evans. Besides, I know he doesn't feel the same. He has a huge crush on that Gryffindor Girl that has luscious golden locks and full, pouty lips. It's hopeless, really. But Lilly has other plans as she drags me with her, right up to the Marauders.

"Good morning, beautiful Lilly-flower. How did you sleep?" There's the reason why I'm here.

"Shut it Potter, not today." Lilly mutters as she sits down opposite him and pulls me down next to her. Her small blush obvious to everyone. I sit down. Right next to Remus. I try not to show my excitement. Or how nervous I've gotten all of a sudden. And definitely not turn toward him.

It must have been too forced which is why Sirius sends a smirk my way. I raise an eyebrow in return.

“Why so tense, (Y/N)? Can’t handle the beauty in front of you? You seem overwhelmed-“

“Actually, let me stop you right there, Sirius. Nothing of the above.” Remus chuckles next to me but it turns into a muffled cough, which catches my attention and I can’t help and turn too look at him. The first time I really do today. And a sense of hurt fills me as I see his scared face. Another rough night. I lift a hand to touch his shoulder but decide against it mid-air.

“Remus, are you alright?” He doesn’t glance back just pokes at his food and still holding a fist to his lips after the cough. He shakes his head and ignores my question. I frown and turn back forward, trying to feel hungry. Actually, trying to feel anything but a void in my stomach. And hurt. He never ignored me. Sure, he is frank sometimes and maybe doesn’t always looks me in the eye when we talk but- he never once ignored me.

“Soo, are we going to Hogsmeade tomorrow?” James asks, trying to cut the tension at the table but I can’t hold it in anymore and am scared they will see my glossy eyes.

I shake my head and stand up briefly. “Sorry.” I speed walk down the table and out of the Great Hall. I only stop once I reached the common room and decide to sit on the couch until classes would start. Who needs food anyway. I bury my head in a book and nearly miss to leave for our first class. Potions. Funny enough this is the only class I usually sit next to Remus because James sat next to Lilly the first time. Now I slow down my walk and hope he might have switched seats. When I enter though Remus is glancing around until his eyes land on me. I freeze for a second but gulp down my nerves and take my usual seat next to him.

It’s quite for a while. I don’t look over and he doesn’t say anything. Not even raising his hand when I can clearly see he did his homework and knows the correct answer.

A paper ball lands on his side of the desk which catches my attention. I don’t want to be nosey so I don’t try to read what’s written there. But I get where it must have come from by the look he is sending over to Sirius. Sirius gestures wildly at him, looking stern and I frown until he points over to me and our eyes meet- he quickly whips his hand up and ruffles his hair, sending me an awkward smile with a wave. Then turns back around.

I frown but don’t question it any further, trying to also ignore the eyes I feel on the side of my face. I Scribble down on my parchment but can’t help and notice Remus clearing his throat a couple times. After the third time I sigh and glance up. He’s wringing his fingers below the table and his eyes dart up as he sees me looking up. His eyes growing wide for a second before he sends me a small, uneasy smile.

“Hey.” He whispers. I can’t help but let my gaze linger on the scar below his eye. It looks painful and I quickly relax my face as I notice I’ve been cringing at him.

“Hi.” I reply and have to send a smile back. I can’t stop myself. He does that to me. Goofball. I am about to turn back to our task as he opens his mouth, inhaling- as if to say something. But he stops himself.

I raise a brow at him and wait. “What’s up?” Is add, trying to encourage him to keep going.

“I- I just-“ he smiles down at his hands and turns toward me slightly, “-I wanted to apologize. You probably think I’m absolutely rude and, and insufferable-“

He wants to ramble on but I glance up to the podium to see McGonogall sending us a suspicious look. I turn back to Remus, taking one of his fidgety hands and he stops talking, looking down at our hands.

“Remus, it’s okay. I still like you- let’s get back to work and talk later, alright?” I give him another small smile and he sighs, sending one back, nodding.

It took a short moment longer before I let go off his hand and turn back forward. I shield my warm cheeks from his view with my hair covering them now. The grin on my face suppressed.

___

“So- who’s up for a ride on our magnificent sled this fine evening?” James asks as he rounds the couch of the common room where Lilly and I sit, reading and talking. Our eyes go up to him as Sirius joins his side, throwing an arm over his shoulder and sending us mischievous smile. I roll my eyes and glance over to Lilly who’s sighing. But she wears a smile, her eyes finding mine.

“What do you say?” She asks me and I shrug my shoulders, standing up and throwing the book onto the soft cushioned couch.

“Why not, it’s beautiful outside.”

“Remus is coming as well~” Sirius is singing teasingly as he walks off with James to get ready, but not without winking at me over his shoulder. My eyes grow wide at his remark. Does he know? I tried really hard to hide that crush.

“-(Y/N)? Let’s go, come on.” Lilly pulls me out of my trance and pulls me after her at my sleeve.

“So, what’s that with you and Remus?” She asks, a small grin on her lips.

“What do you mean? Nothings going on.” I reply, maybe too quickly because Lilly sends me another big goofy grin and I roll my eyes, as she rummages through her stuff, throwing a beanie at me and one of her gryffindor scarfs.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” She mumbles and we jog back down to the common room, waiting for the boys.

As they join us, James picks up a squealing Lilly and runs ahead. Sirius carries the sleds and nods at us. “See you there, losers.” He runs off as well, yelling after them. Now it’s just Remus and me. Peter needed to rest, he’s been sick for a few days already, enjoying his peace in Madame Pomfrey’s Medical Wing.

“Are you going anywhere special this Christmas?” I ask, trying to cut the tension I felt growing. I loved that we quietly, without saying a word, decided not to run after them. We kept walking normally.

“No, just staying home, what about you?” I bury my hands deep in my pockets as we step outside, the wind instantly blowing across our skin.

“No, neither do we. My grandparents are coming over this year tho, so- that will be interesting.” I mumble and he chuckles, I glance up at him.

“I couldn’t hear what you were saying.” I realize I’ve talked into my scarf and push it down a little, my face now warm anyway.

“Hey! Watch out-“ I can’t even look at the source of the voice when a snowball hits me right on the cheek. I stumble, squeezing my eyes shut but Remus holds me before I slip.

I blink my eyes open, Remus wiping at my cheek, frowning. “Are you alright?” I nod quickly, staring into his warm eyes.

“Guys, come on!” Sirius whines and runs over.

“Seriously, be more careful Sirius.” Remus mumbles, quite annoyed as he turns to him, his hand leaving my hair, where he had also tried to get the snow wiped away.

“Aw, are you mad I threw snow at your girlfriend?” He smirks and folds his arms. I stare at the icy ground now and Remus says something under his breath while bending down and collecting a pile of snow, Sirius quickly runs off and giggles. Remus runs after him, holding his beanie as it’s slipping off.

“Get back here, Black!”

I hide my smile behind the scarf and walk toward where Lilly is watching James, who seems to struggle with a spell. He rearranged his glasses, his cheeks slightly tinted pink as he sends a shy smile over to Lilly. “I nearly got it.”

“Hey, why aren’t you sledding yet?” I ask as I join Lilly’s side.

“James wanted to make the sled bigger so- more people could fit on. But-“

“-I nearly got it, okay?” He clears his throat again and gulps. He gets so flustered, trying to prove himself to Lilly. It’s absolutely adorable. “Enlargio!”

I take a step back and Lilly follows suit. The sled grows in size, not too much either. Well, I guess successful?

“See?” He smirks and gestures toward his accomplishment. Lilly claps, her mittens muting the sound.

“Well done, you mighty wizard.” I add and he glares over, taking a pile of snow quickly. I hold my hands up.

“Sorry, sorry, please don’t- I already got enough snow in my face for today.” He chuckles and we look over to Remus still running after Sirius, he finally tackles him to the ground and pushes a snowball into Sirius’ face. We all laugh at the scene and walk over, up the hill.

“Hey, let poor Sirius go, I think he learned his lesson.” Lilly states and I nod, smirking at Remus as he stands up, out of breath, just as Sirius.

The latter stands up too, wiping himself off the snow and flares at Remus.

“What was that for anyway?” James asks and Sirius smirks through his white lashes.

“Yeah, Remus, what for?”

“I just- just don’t be so rude to-“

“-to, (Y/N)?” Sirius finishes for him and I roll my eyes, Remus sighing.

“Yes.” He grits out and I raise a brow at them both. They are standing now, facing each other again, Remus looking ready to throw another snowball if Sirius kept talking. And Sirius- well he just doesn’t know when to stop.

“Why don’t you just tell her that you like her? Maybe then I’ll stop.” He grabs more snow and strides my way, throwing a look over his shoulder at Remus. I shriek and turn, running away. But I am no way as fast as he is. He grabs me around my waist with one arm and lifts me up, laughing as I try to wriggle free. He holds his other hand close to my face, turning us to face the others.

“Come on Remus, you know what to do-“

“Sirius, stop, I’m gonna get sick-“

“I like her, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?”

“Don’t tell me, Remus, tell her-“ Sirius turns me further and I stop struggling, looking at Remus. He seems in conflict but shuts is eyes for a moment. When he looks back at me he gulps and steps forward.

“I- I really like you. A lot.” I want to throw my scarf and beanie off, that’s how hot I got and run toward him. Telling him I feel the same. But before I can even say anything I feel cold snow. My eyes back closed. I step on his foot now causing Sirius to finally let me go.

Remus is by my side once again and helps me with the snow. “I’ll kill him.” He whispers and runs his thumb across my cheek.

“You may. But- not without-“ I lean up and holds his face as I press a kiss to his lips. Brief but all I needed to tell him I return the feelings. He smiles down at me, his face now warm and eyes lingering on my lips and back up my eyes.

“I’ll be right back.” He adds quietly and runs around me, Sirius not noticing at first so they both stumble to the ground and throw snow at each other.

Lilly walks up and James follows suit. “Well, that took longer than expected- I owe Peter 5 galleons now.” I whip my head toward him and frown, he looks back at me, startled. “Did I say that out loud?” I nod at him. “Oh oh.” He turns around and runs off, me hot on his heels and Lilly joins me.

“Come back here, Potter!”

_________________________________

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[emf005]

Like Me For Me Part I

Marauders Era

Sirius x Reader

Warnings- Talk of abuse, mentions of death

Part 1 out of 3

“Come on, Y/N/N,” your friend pleaded. “You know you want to go.” You thought about it for a moment as you five walked down the hall.

“No. No, I really don’t think I want to. Not in the slightest.” She huffed and folded her arms across her chest. Marleen was one of the prettiest and most popular girls in your grade. You were the opposite of her. Her and the rest of your friends actually.

It wasn’t that you weren’t pretty. You were actually drop dead gorgeous. You liked that, actually. That you were pretty. But you also hated it. You hated that you were pretty and fashionable with every fiber of your being.

Your friends knew you were fashionable and beautiful, and they often urged you to show it like you helped them do. Be popular like them and not just ‘that one girl… oh what's her name?’ But you liked being her. Big glasses, that were faker than fake, oversized sweaters that hung off your body and leggings and sweatpants and jeans that barely even touched your legs they were so baggy. If you weren’t in your school uniform that's what you were in. And your hair.. Well… that was always just naturally a mess. You normally just threw it up into a messy bun or ponytail.

“Come on, Y/N. The winter ball this year is supposed to be the grandest there has ever been! You already promised to help us get ready. Why won’t you just go?” Cora asked. She was a Hufflepuff in your year. Yet again, very pretty and very popular.

“Because I don’t want to. You all have handsome dates who are beyond thrilled to go with you and I have my studying in the library.”

“Which will be closed!” Darla squeaked. She was a small rounder Ravenclaw with deep black hair. But still considered one of the prettiest girls in school. She was going with Peter Pettigrew to the dance. And you couldn’t have thanked god enough. That's all she talked about was that boy.

“Thank you, captain obvious,” you hummed and flourished your robes dramatically to leave and head to the black lake for Care of Magical Creatures. “Good afternoon everyone. I’ll see you all at dinner. Perhaps.” You added at the end, sounding mysterious. You may or may not read far to many mysteries in your spare time.

Your friends rolled their eyes and left you to go down on your own. As you headed down you saw your other close, very beautiful, friend Lily Evans.

“Lily!” She turned and waved at you. You jogged down the hill and skidded to a halt before you tripped over a rock. “What's up?” You asked, not even close to out of breath despite the distance you had just run.

“Nothing. You?”

“Oh, just headed down to C.O.M.C.”

“No one is going to start calling it that,” she hummed as you two continued down.

“I know. And I don't really care, either. It just gets tiring saying that entire phrase all the time. C.O.M.C. is much easier in my opinion, thank you very much.” You said with a nod. She rolled her eyes.

“Whatever you say. Are you coming to the Christmas dance?”

“Absolutely not. I’m still helping you with hair and make up though, right?”

“You’re letting her help you with your makeup and hair, Evans?” Narcissa Black scoffed. You looked down at your shoes and frowned. So you may dress down to take attention away from yourself. What you didn't realize was that that would call attention to other things. Girls would then call you ugly and unstylish, which was the biggest insult of them all. But at least men weren’t prancing on you, right?

“Oh shove off, Narcissa.” A voice called from a ways down the path. You looked up and saw Sirius, James, and Remus looking over their shoulders at the three of you. “Like you have much more style.”

Was that supposed to be a double edged sword? Was that supposed to stab both Narcissa and I?

You couldn't help but wonder.

Sirius Black. The boy you have had a crush on for the longest time. I mean, who hasn’t. Marleen often told you to go try your luck, but you wouldn’t dare. You were far too cautious for that. Love and dating was a matter you took very seriously. You weren’t just going to date because you wanted to. You wanted it to be a mutual liking of each other. Well, a bit more of a mutual liking.

And while you had a crush on that boy, he had a reputation of just dating to date. Or one night stands or one week stands. Even just leaving the girls crushed and throwing themselves at him long after they had broken up. But you didn't like him because he was popular, like them. Or that he was gorgeous (Because he certainly was). No. You liked him because of his personality. Which, with teen hormones, wasn’t something that often happened.

Narcissa sneered at her cousin but made no further comment and just stormed away. You turned your attention to the ground again and scurried off towards the class. You weren't shy. You normally would greet the boys even though none of you really talked. Except you and Remus. You two were quite close. But Sirius’ comment stung a bit and you really couldn't face them. Lily and the boys watched you go and she sighed with a shake of her head.

The boys watched in confusion. Well, James and Sirius did. Remus knew what had happened, he had actually been the first to figure out your crush on him, even before you had figured it out yourself. He knew that you were quite fashionable and took pride in your work of your friends’ appearances when they asked you to do their makeup or their hair. Or even help pick out a perfect outfit that was both stylish and practical for their activities for the day. And he also knew how much comments like ones both Sirius and Narcissa made hurt you.

“What was that about?” James asked as he watched you drop your bag and settle on the grass away from the class. “I mean. I know we aren’t her friends really, but she normally gives us a wave or something.”

“Aren’t you her friend, Rem?” Sirius asked, slinging his bag further on his shoulder as they headed down to the lake.

“Yeah.”

“Is she mad at you?”

“No.”

“Then what was that about?”

“Missing the attention?” Lily teased. She had Remus had suspicions that Sirius actually liked you back, but had never mentioned it to more than each other.

“Ha!” he scoffed. “I have all the attention of the entire school, Evans. Why would I miss one from.. What?” She and Remus were looking at him the exact same way. “What's with the looks? Why is it coming from the both of you? James, help, I’m scared.” James laughed. Lily rolled her eyes and walked past.

“Your boyfriend can’t save you from everything Sirius. Least of all me.” She called over her shoulder and headed to sit by you. You had pulled out your sketchbook and were doodling.

“Am I the only one lost?”

“No.” James responded, making googly eyes at Lily. Both Remus and Sirius rolled their eyes at that.

“Who can tell me about Nifflers?” Your professor asked. Your hand shot up, Lily’s followed a moment later. You two rivaled in everything school related. (a healthy, playful rivalry. It was one of the reasons you two were friends.) Though, you were often a bit better at Care of Magical Creatures and she was often better at Potions.

“Miss. Y/L/N.”

“Nifflers are attracted to shiny objects, which make them wonderful for locating treasure, but that also means that they can wreak havoc if kept (or set loose) indoors. Nifflers in general are usually harmless. They are native to Britain and live in burrows as deep as twenty feet below ground, the females can produce six to eight young in a single litter. Nifflers have a pouch on their bellies which holds far more than at first seemed possible, like the effects of an Undetectable Extension Charm on a container. Nifflers were gentle by nature and can even be affectionate towards their owners. However, they could destroy belongings looking for sparkly objects, and for that reason it is inadvisable to keep them as a house pet. It is also implied that they could turn vicious if provoked.”

“Very good, Miss. Y/L/N. Ten points to Gryffindor.” You smiled at the praise, needing a boost today.

“Try Miss. Know-it-all.” You heard someone grumble from beside you. No one else, including Lily, heard. But being mocked like that was still better than the so-called “praise” you would get if you let your beauty show through.

You tucked your knees closer to your chest, unknowing of the eyes on you from the other side of the area. They were not mocking or angry or anything even close. They were actually close to admiration, if not that.

You sat by Marleen and Lily in the Great Hall eating dinner. Classes had finally ended, which meant no more classes. Only Homework. But yours was nearly done. You had gotten the majority of it done during Divinations. You “did not possess the gift” so she wouldn’t really assign Homework. And were you complaining? Hell no.

“You should really come, Y/N. Please! It will be so much fun! We would all have dates and we could all dance the night away in the arms of our dashing men,” she said dramatically. You rolled your eyes and shoved another fork full of food into your mouth.

“I don’t have a date yet,” Lily said.

“Didn’t James ask you and you said you’d think about it?” She didn’t say anything. The poor boy had finally grown up enough to win some of Lily's approval. If she would just say yes!

“Oh, just say yes to the poor boy, Lily! He looks like a wounded puppy every time you reject him. Especially this year! Just go as friends or something.”

“Only if you go.” You rolled your eyes and shoveled another fork full into your mouth.

“Firstly, no one would want to go with me. Second off, everyone already has a date.”

“Sirius doesn’t.” she hummed and you started to choke on your food, making her and Marleen laugh. The table looked over at the three of you, including the Marauders.

“NOT-Cough cough cough cough- funny!” You wheezed out.

“I’m being serious, no pun intended.”

“Lily, you heard what he said today during COMC. Think! No one wants to go out with me.”

“Oh come on, why would-”

“Mar, I swear to god, if you finish that sentence,” you stood up dramatically, “I will shove a fork down your throat and open up your voice box, got it?” She just stared at you with wide eyes and nodded. “Good. Good night ladies. I have work to do.” You left the table and headed to your dorm.

“So, who are you asking, Pads?” James asked, tossing the snitch he had nicked from the broom shed in the air.

“Probably just float around and dance with everyone. Everyone already has a date.” He shrugged and took another bite of his sandwich. Remus then got a terrible idea.

“Why not ask Y/N?”

“Huh? Why?”

“She doesn’t have a date yet either.”

“That's shocking,” they heard someone mutter from down the table. They glared in that general direction.

“Nah. More fun to just float around.”

“Come on, Sirius. It could be fun. She seems alright.”

“Not my type.”

“You have a type? I thought your ‘type’ was female?” Remus asked. Sirius threw a bread roll at him.

“Yes. And she is not it. Smart is not exactly my idea of a fun night. If you know what I mean.” The three boys rolled their eyes at Sirius.

“She’s not like that, Sirius.” Remus defended you. “Come on. You might have fun. And it's not even like-” they heard coughing from down the table and looked down to see you choking on your food. Remus face palmed. He was trying to get you a date with your crush and here you were choking elegantly on your food.

Remus looked away from you and back at his friend, about to try and convince him again when he noticed something strange. Sirius had his cup raised to his lips, hiding his mouth, but he could still see the corners upturned and a fond look in his eyes.

The damn dog does like her! He thought.

“Come on Sirius. For me? She’s my friend and I want her to relax for a night.” Remus attempted. Sirius pulled his gaze away from you and turned to his friend and sighed dramatically.

“Fine! I’ll go ask her now. Happy?”

“Yes. But she’s leaving.” Sirius’ head whipped around just in time to see you disappear from the great hall. He grabbed his nearly finished sandwich and dashed out of the doors after you, eating as he went. He looked around once he got to the entry hall.

Where had you gone? And how had you disappeared so fast? He continued dating as he made his way up to the common room. Perhaps you had decided to turn in for the night?

In truth, Sirius didn't think he had a crush on you. He had an interest. Not a crush or an attraction. You were foreign to him. He knew Remus was right. You weren’t a stuck up know it all. And despite the crew you hung around, you didn’t act like a popular girl. You were kind, and smart, and the few jokes he had heard you cracking were genuinely funny that he had caught himself laughing quietly to himself at a few.

He had been out with Marleen a few times, but that wasn't anything to either of them. Just a bit of fun between friends. A date here, a make out session there. All because… Why not?

He caught you as you were headed up the stairs to your dorm.

“Y/L/N!” You turned and smiled a quiet smile at him.

“Hi, Sirius.” You leaned on the banister. “What's up?”

“You don’t have a date to the dance yet, do you?”

“No but-”

“Well do you want to go with me?” You were speechless and skeptical.

“You don’t mean that.”

“Yeah I do.”

“Sirius, no. You really don’t. I bet Remus talked you into it.” His silence was enough of an answer for you. “Figured. Go with someone you want to go with, Sirius. You don’t want to damage your reputation by going with a muggle born nerd like me.” you smirked and turned to go upstairs again.

Had he just been turned down? That did not sit well with him. Not one bit. And the way you had called yourself a muggle born nerd didn’t sit well either.

“I actually do, and I won’t take no for an answer.” He saw you sigh.

“Sirius. I’m not even going.”

“But you're staying for break.”

“Well, yes…”

“So you could if you wanted to.”

“Well, yeah but-”

“So why don’t you want to?” You didn’t answer. How did you tell your crush that you didn’t want to look pretty or that you were too scared to be seen in anything other than sweats and a sweatshirt in public? “Y/N?”

“Uh… Yeah?”

“So, are we going?”

“I don’t have much of a choice in the matter, do I?”

“Not at this stage in the game.. No.” You sighed.

“I’ll meet you at the staircase by the Great Hall at eight. No earlier. Deal?”

“It's a date.”

“No. It's a compromise. Technically I’m doing James a favor and your doing Remus a favor. I’m helping your friend and I’m helping yours. Good night, Sirius.” You left the room and disappeared into your room to write to your mum and ask her for one of your dresses from home. You weren’t about to ruin Sirius’ reputation to save your own hide. What could go wrong?

Sirius had been left speechless. That was the strangest and most reluctant acceptance that had ever happened to him. He was definitely giving Remus hell for this, though this did make him a bit more curious about you, he wouldn’t lie… to himself at least.

First Chapter done!! Make sure to check back for part 2!!!

[isolemnlyswearpevensie]

Beyond Our Dreams | Remus Lupin x Reader Soulmate AU

Warnings: None

Time/Era: Marauders Era, Aged 19

Word count: 2.3k

Summary: Remus Lupin finally gets to meet his American soulmate, Y/N, after seeing eachother every night in their dreamscape. 

Request: can you do a remus lupin x gender neutral reader soulmate au where they see each other in their dreams

A/N: I adore Remus so much. He’s such a special character to me. So, thank you for the request! Enjoy! I also attached my Remus Lupin playlist, which is full of songs that remind me of this perfect boi :) Check it out if you want! 

masterlist | my remus lupin playlist | read on ao3

The apartment they chose to meet at was always the same; it was a small room with a comfy, forest green couch, a cozy bed, a small kitchenette, and a door that led to a bathroom. It was rather plain as well, with dark red walls and a plush carpet below their feet. On one of the walls, there was a large window that overlooked a calm city. The normal hustle and bustle of city life was extinguished by a heavy downpour. 

While most people made their dreamscapes extravagant and complicated, as it is their mind after all, Remus and Y/N found comfort in the simplicity. The pair just needed a comfortable spot to talk and get to know eachother. 

��And then Lily just sort of dropped the bomb,” Remus stated, sitting on the couch opposite of Y/N. His long fingers wrapped around a white mug and he held his tea close to his body. 

“I can’t believe she’s pregnant!” Y/N had her legs crossed and a plate of chocolate chip cookies situated in her lap. “We haven’t even met yet, but people our age are already having kids.” 

Remus heartily chuckled, raising his mug to his lips and taking a sip. “It’ll happen in due time, darling. Besides, it’s nice to have you to myself without outside influences,” He coughs. “My friends skewing your views on me.” 

“I know your friends are lovely, based on how you speak so fondly of them.” Y/N took a big bite of one of the chocolate chip cookies. It was chewy and gooey, making it absolutely delicious. “Why are dream cookies so good? Like, seriously, these things are to die for.” 

“Because they’re a figment of your imagination. They can be as yummy or as disgusting as you make them to be.” Remus pulled at the collar of his gray t-shirt, making the seams rip. “Do you ever wish I was more, I don’t know, exciting?” 

“What do you mean?” Chocolate smudged on the corners of her mouth.

Remus grinned and licked his thumb, rubbing it over her delicate skin to clean her face. “I mean, our dream world is a one-bedroom apartment and all we ever do is talk. I don’t know, I hear Sirius has a rollercoaster in his dreamscape. I fell dull in comparison.” 

Y/N fondly smiled at her soulmate, moving so she was sitting directly next to him. “Rollercoasters are overrated. I like the comfort our little apartment gives us, it’s nice and warm in here and I have you next to me.” She set the cookies on the coffee table in front of the couch. “We don’t need to go on extravagant adventures, you seem to have enough of those when you’re awake.” 

“You deserve better, though. Not a guy in his late teens that is constantly tired and would rather sit on a couch drinking tea than going on a rollercoaster.” 

“I deserve you, and you are more than enough for me.” Y/N sighed, moving Remus’ hair out of his eyes. He couldn’t feel her physically, but it was still a nice gesture. “I’m not exactly itching to go on grand adventures. That’s what meeting you is for.” 

“You’re only 5,437 miles away, anyway.” Remus’ mouth twitched into a sad smile. “That’s nothing.” 

“Hey, it’s better than 5,438 miles.” 

“You got me there.” 

~

“What would you do if I came to London and surprised you?” Y/N laid her head on Remus’ thigh while he moved his hand through her hair, trying to imagine what it felt like. 

“I’d probably get rather quiet and not know what to do if I’m being honest,” Remus observed how Y/N’s locks flowed through his fingers like water and how it contrasted against the forest green upholstery of the couch. 

“Maybe let out a few cuss words?” 

“Why are you so obsessed with me cussing?” 

“Your accent is hot, especially when you say ‘fuck.’ I like to hear it.” Y/N smiled cheekily and watched Remus’ pupils dilate. 

“Fuck,” The words fall off his tongue with his Welsh accent. Much of the Welsh had faded, due to living at Hogwarts and now London, but it was still very apparent in his speech.  Y/N giggled and squirmed. 

“Yeah, like that. Sometimes you just slip it into casual conversations and I have to compose myself.” 

“Americans are weird, it’s just an accent.” 

“No, it’s not just an accent. It’s your accent so I like to hear it. Sue me!” Y/N threw her hands up in false anguish, lightly bumping Remus’ stomach. 

“You’re so dramatic, love.” 

“I am not dramatic! Just every time I compliment my favorite person in the world he says I’m weird! Maybe you’re the weird one, Lupin!” 

“Fine, I’m the weird one. Does that make you happy?” His voice sounded exasperated, but he was staring down at her with the fondest expression.

“Extremely.” 

~

“Do you think Sirius, James, and Peter would like me?” Y/N sat on the counter of the dream kitchenette. 

“They already do like you, dear.” Remus stood between her legs with his hands resting on her thighs. With her sitting so high, they were almost the same height. “Why?” 

“Well they’re important to you, and you’re important to me, so I want them to like me. It would suck if your friends hated me.” 

“You don’t have to worry about that. They even have a nickname for you,” Remus looked away, his cheeks turned slightly red. This piqued Y/N’s attention. 

“A nickname? What is it?”

“Button.” Remus’ cheeks were dusted a light rose color and his ears were bright red. 

“Button? Why Button?” 

“Well, a few years ago we were all going around and describing our soulmates. I said that you were as cute as a button and I guess the name stuck.” 

Butterflies erupted in Y/N’s stomach and she planted a kiss on his cheek. “Why can’t I just apparate to you again?” 

“We talked about this, love. You’ve never been here and I’ve never been there so you can’t apparate straight here. And the plane ride between us is almost 11 hours.” 

“Fucking hell.” Y/N sighed in frustration. 

“Fucking hell, indeed.” 

~

“I did something, and you have to promise not to be mad at me.” Y/N paced around the kitchenette while Remus lounged on the couch. His head shot up at her words. 

“What did you do?” His mind raced a mile a minute and he prepared himself for the worst. Y/N probably found someone better than him and wanted to cut off contact. 

“It’s nothing bad, relax.” 

“Well if it’s not bad, why would I be mad?” Y/N sighed and sat next to him on the couch. 

“Well, in the real world I’m sort of on a plane to London right now.” 

Remus’ eyes bulged and he jumped off the couch. “You’re coming? Here? Really? Now?” 

“Well, I’ll be there in about four hours.” Remus was now pacing.

“Why didn’t you tell me?! Mine and Sirius’ flat is a wreck!” 

“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to back out for a silly reason like a messy apartment.” Y/N stood and reached for her boy. “I love you and I couldn’t wait any longer.” 

“Four hours?” 

“Yes, four hours.And I need a ride from the airport.” 

~

Y/N stood atop the escalator and looked at the crowd below, scanning all the faces for her love. Her face crinkled when she didn’t see Remus but two young men holding a piece of cardboard with her name written in black marker on it. She realized that the two were, in fact, James Potter and Sirius Black. 

“Sirius and James?” She said walking up, suitcase in hand. Both were much taller than Y/N and extremely handsome, making her feel slightly uncomfortable under their gaze. Both young men grinned down at her. 

“Ah, you must be Button. Nice to know Remus talks about us enough for you to recognize our handsome faces,” Sirius exclaims, putting the cardboard under his arm and nudging James. “You’re even prettier than Rem described.”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “Well, you aren’t exactly hard to miss. Long hair, leather jacket, combat boots, overly flirty,” Y/N turns to James. “Glasses, The Beatles shirt, tired expression. Obviously, you’re James Potter and Sirius Black.” She smiles and pulls her hair behind her ear. “Congrats on the baby, by the way.” 

James beams, “Thanks! Kinda crazy considering the circumstances, but you know how it goes.” He takes Y/N’s luggage and starts walking towards the exit. “You threw Moony into quite a panic, you know. It was one of the best things I’ve seen in a while.” 

“It had to be done, he’s been putting it off for years. Something about not wanting me to be disappointed, whatever that means.” 

“Ah, classic moons. Glad you came though, really shakes up our daily schedule.” Sirius responds. The three make their way to a Volkswagon Beetle and James pops the trunk to put Y/N’s luggage inside. 

“Why didn’t he come and get me? Not that I mind the company, of course.” Sirius crawls into the back middle seat, leaving Y/N to sit shotgun with James driving. “Woah, I forgot it’s on the wrong side.”

“He pussied out, I’m sure you know how nervous he gets,” James pulled out onto the street and down the road. “And what’s on the wrong side?” 

“Your car and the road, James. It’s on the wrong side.” 

“It’s not on the wrong side, maybe you’re on the wrong side. Ever think of that?” He turned his head to look at her, the thick frame glasses on his face sliding down his nose. 

“See! You agree! I am currently on the wrong side!” Y/N giggled and hugged her backpack to her chest. 

Sirius also lets out a loud, bellowing laugh. Y/N felt as though she had known these two her entire life; in a way, she had. 

The three pulled into a parking structure and she exited the beetle. (The car, she had come to discover, was named Lennon, after John Lennon himself.) She hadn’t been nervous up until this moment, staring at the apartment door. James patted her shoulder and smiled. 

“It’ll be okay. He’s the same Remus you’ve been talking to for the past however many years.” 

“Yeah, if you even get him to talk,” Sirius pushes his way between the two and towards the door, lugging Y/N’s bag into the flat. He drops the luggage in the middle of the living room and flops onto the couch. “Oh, Moonbear, your lover is here! Get your fine ass out of your room, before I take it out here myself!” 

Y/N cautiously pads into the house, taking in the atmosphere of the home. It was very similar to their dreamscape, very small and sparsely decorated. However, the flat seemed to have 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms, as well as a few closets. The livingroom had various framed band posters hanging on the walls, as well as a big framed picture of the entire friend group. Y/N could point out who was who easily as she observed it. 

“Lily is so pretty,” She said aloud and pointed between two blondes. “Which one is Marlene and which one is Mary?” 

Sirius and James look at eachother and share a laugh. “Merlin, he really does talk about us.” James points at the girl with the big, poofy hair. “That one’s Marls, the other is Mary.” 

“Makes sense, since I’m assuming that’s Dorcas?” Y/N’s gaze moves from the blonde to a pretty brunette next to her. 

“Oi, Moons, I didn’t realize you spoke about us so much,” James says, making Y/N turn around. In all his glory, Remus Lupin stood in the living room, decked out in jeans, and a The Smiths shirt. He was perfectly imperfect, and Y/N’s entire body warmed. His gaze didn’t leave Y/N as James spoke but he allowed his jaw to grow slightly slack and his hands to pull his shirt down. 

“You’re even more beautiful in person, how is that possible?” His voice was breathy and light as if he was in complete awe. The light from the windows highlighted his cheekbones and made his features look unbelievably sharp, creating shadows that danced down his neck. He looked heavenly in absolutely every way possible, and this moment made her entire travel day worth it. Y/N blushed and stepped towards him. 

“Nice shirt, missed you at the airport, though.” 

Remus rolls his eyes and pulls his girl close to him. “Sorry ‘bout that, sunshine.” 

Y/N nestled her face into his chest, taking deep breaths of his cologne. He was even better than she expected, all the way down to the wool socks he wore. Remus’ hand came to gently stroke her hair before looking up to see his friends. Unsurprisingly, though, the living room was now empty and Sirius’ bedroom door was closed. 

“You smell so good, is that weird to say?” Y/N mumbles into the fabric of his shirt. “Like pine, and candy. I don’t know how to describe it.” She felt his chest vibrate as he laughed. 

“I can’t believe you’re finally here.” 

“Had’ta be sneaky, catch you off guard.” Y/N looked up into his eyes and glanced down to his lips. 

The soft look of admiration she had seen so many times crossed his features as he leaned down to capture her lips in a kiss. 

[unfortunatelysirius]

I love you, but I’m scared // Remus Lupin  [Marauders Era]

「 ❁ 」PROMPT 「 ❁ 」

Y/N finds herself feeling non-platonic things for long-time best friend Remus. At risk of losing six and a half years of friendship, what can she do?

「 ❁ 」AUTHOR’S NOTE 「 ❁ 」

BET YOU THOUGHT I WAS GONNA DISAPPEAR OFF THE GLOBE FOR THE NEXT THREE MONTHS HAHAHAHA BITCH U THOUGHT, in serious news idk how I feel about this so uhhhh feedback???? also this was like 2650 words idk why I wrote so much. hope it isn't trash!!!! :D fill the inbox with some love (and some requests wink wink) and have a happy weekend!!!

        It was past curfew at Hogwarts castle, the moon twinkling brightly in the sky outside, and to most students, it was time to snooze the night away. In the Gryffindor common room, all but two had vacated, retreating to their dorms for much needed relief. Y/N L/N and Remus Lupin had other priorities in mind.

Y/N was rewriting her notes for Arithmancy when she heard Remus clear his throat. He was against the other end of the sofa with his legs tucked into his chest, his Potions textbook acting as a surface for his parchment. Y/N was similarly using a journal. They’d been in the common room for hours, once surrounded by their friends before they decided to hit the sheets instead of their books. After their friends left, the two bookworms descended into silence. It’d been a while since either of them tried chatting through their overload of N.E.W.T.’s prep. Y/N peeked up, losing momentum, at his soft garble.

Remus’s eyes immediately went down to his legs when she looked over, so she looked down, too. His parchment was completely covered in perfect print with barely an inch left to write. “I need to borrow some parchment,” he said sheepishly.

Y/N’s face flushed for reasons beyond her, and she wordlessly fished around in her bag for some spare parchment. She felt less frazzled when she was able to locate a piece and hand it over to Remus.

“Thanks,” Remus said, his fingers brushing over hers without meaning to. Y/N felt sparks but she had no intention of speaking them into existence. 

They didn’t speak for a time after that. Remus scribbled furiously, managing to have pretty penmanship through his rush, and Y/N took her time rewriting and slimming down her notes. They would glance at each other on occasion, sometimes connecting without meaning to (and consequentially Y/N would feel quite embarrassed), and they’d cough or sneeze or swallow or smile out of the blue. It went on. Only when the common room clock tolled at 3 did the pair acknowledge they needed rest; even if tomorrow were Sunday, neither of them enjoyed sleeping in.

Remus gave Y/N a tentative smile. “I got a lot done,” he told her, affirming what she felt for herself. Her smile back was mega-watt. Truly she felt better than she had before he’d asked her to study with him. She thought her feelings would get in the way and make her nervous being around him for so long—alone, stuffy and uncomfortably silent, all he had for company—but surprisingly the opposite happened. It was like any other time they hung out.

As friends.

“Me too,” Y/N agreed. She reached out and gave him a side hug before she could chicken out. The baffled look on his face, mixed with something she couldn’t be certain about, made her regret it—but whatever. It was 3 am and he wouldn’t remember it in the morning. I’ll remember it. “Goodnight, Remus.”

        “Night, love,” Remus said sleepily, rubbing the crust from his eyes.

        The two of them went up their respective staircases, looking back at the same time and waving a final farewell. Y/N felt like a little girl as she face-planted her comforter and snuggled into the pillow, briefly thinking about the pet name Remus gave her. He used it sparingly, usually when exhausted, and it seemed tonight was one of those nights.

        Thinking about her best friend that way wasn’t right. He was her best friend. She met him before she met the Marauders, even before she became good friends with her dormmates. They’d been friends for so long that anything other than their routine would disrupt everything. Y/N had felt something other than platonic love for Remus since the summer of this year after he sent her a letter about his time at home. It wasn’t something small, either. She couldn’t fathom how she went from thinking it was gross when he drank pumpkin juice around her to watching his throat as he guzzled the atrocious liquid down. How—why—did she suddenly like him so much she couldn’t breathe around him? Why did things feel stilted?

        Did he know?

        She didn’t want to feel like this about him. He was her best friend, all their other friends were friends with each other, things were great the way they were and something new just wasn’t going to end well. Platonic love—maybe she was confusing it for the love she read about in her books. Maybe that’s all this was. Yeah.

        She was overreacting.

        Y/N didn’t fall asleep until it was well past what time it was when she stumbled back to her dorm, and by then the sun was coming up.

        She wasn’t one to sleep in but that morning she made an unconscious exception.

-

        Things may not have felt stilted when they hung out, but after they said their goodnights and went to bed, things changed. For Y/N, at least. She couldn’t be in the same room as Remus without feeling anxious beyond reason. She didn’t think she was obvious about it to their friends—maybe to the ever-observant Lily, but the Marauders had to be clueless, and Marlene and Alice were too busy talking about coursework. Remus wasn’t so oblivious. Y/N was constantly fleeing from conversations with excuses that never made much sense, and she was fumbling with what to say and how to act around him. She couldn’t ignore how her heart beat a little faster around him. Her entire body felt sweaty when he had his attention on her. She felt light, heavy, dead, and alive, at different ranges and nocks; she was sure it showed.

       Of course it showed. Remus was bewildered, and honestly a little hurt, as Y/N’s nerves got the best of her. He didn’t try hiding how he felt and he didn't shy away from trying to rekindle things, completely oblivious to what he did. Y/N felt cruel and wanted to hate herself for what she was doing. Remus didn’t deserve this; he deserved a better. Their communication issues felt like years-old radio silence when really the days of Y/N’s strange behavior were slow like a boat against the tide. 

    Their friendship had never been out there. They weren’t like James and Sirius were with each other, even from the beginning, so tiptoeing around each other and being quiet was just a part of them. They were introverted at heart. Remus always preferred being alone with Y/N so they could engage and relax without their loud and rowdy friends joining, Y/N reciprocating his energy wholeheartedly. But somehow along the way of discovering her feelings, Y/N found herself feeling afraid. That fear translated to isolation, her flee instinct on a victory roll as it repeatedly conquered “fight.” The tiptoeing became profuse excuses, blatant footsteps, Y/N on a never-ending treadmill that just kept getting faster.

        She didn’t want to admit to anything, especially if it meant losing Remus. Yet her heart also hated being away from him, hated doing things with anyone besides Remus, hated running away when all she wanted to do was have his company. Why was she so pathetic?

       Her friends were obviously more observant than she thought, and they weren’t shying from asking questions, and eventually Y/N started running from them too.

      She didn’t know how to get what she wanted without breaking her heart along the way. 

         She hid and she ran and she avoided. A cycle that inevitably caught up with her. 

       Sirius, the friend closest to her aside from Remus, met her during first-year Potions and hadn’t stopped pestering her since. He wasn’t the most sensitive bloke and feelings weren’t a subject matter you went to him with. If you needed him to threaten or prank a bully, fine. If you wanted a dueling partner for the big Defense Against the Dark Arts practical, sold. If you were being obvious about running away from his best friend… feelings were probably involved, so he knew he wasn’t the right man for the job, but he’d have something to say regardless. He always knew what to do, even if it would backfire tremendously.

        Y/N was in her usual library nook reading an old fairy tale book, having been there for two and a half hours after Remus tried asking her to study with him, and she was just getting to the good part when—

        Sirius popped his shaggy head around a bookcase, a loud, “Hullo,” echoing in the corner, scaring Y/N so badly that her book went flying feet away.

        He merely glanced at the book (probably trying to see the title) before his entire body appeared from around the shelf. “Ah, so here’s where you’ve been running off to, aye?” He raised his eyebrows in a “Huh?” gesture. “Remus said you might be here.”

        Y/N winced, remembering that Remus knew all about her favorite spots around the castle. He must have seriously thought she had something against him if he was abiding her avoidance by doing some of his own.

        “I’m reading,” Y/N said weakly, grimacing when Sirius picked up her book and flipped through the pages. “Wasreading.”

        “You’ve been avoiding Remus for three days,” Sirius said pointedly, tossing her the book. Beauty and the Beast. How fitting. “He’s right glum about it. Bet he’s half mad wondering what he did to make you cross with him, too. So what was it?”

        Y/N felt like a fool thinking she was being subtle with anyone. if she didn’t catch it from her friends’ interrogations, she caught onto their suspicions now. Sirius wasn’t an idiot; Remus wasn’t either. Y/N’s actions weren’t normal, contrary to what her inner reassurances told her over the past 72 hours.

        “He didn’t do anything,” she told Sirius, hoping she sounded believable. Sirius looked like he wanted more: a confessionmost likely. “I… just feel weird around him.”

        Sirius smirked. “Ah, I see,” he said. Judging by his growing amusement, he’d immediately figured her out and was just taking his sweet time reveling in it. “Love, pesky little bugger, isn’t it?”

        “W—love?” Y/N shook her head frantically. “No, that’s not it. I just—”

        “You’re avoiding your best mate because things feel ‘weird,’” Sirius pointed out. “You already know about his furry little problem so that’s ruled out. What else makes being around a best mate weird? Maybe fancying him?”

        “Believe what you want,” Y/N said tiredly. Her brain chanted at her, Accept it! Accept it! Accept it! but she didn’t want to accept it. Not even deny it, honestly. She thought avoiding him would avoid ruining their friendship, and she knew eventually if she let herself get convinced there weren’t real feelings involved, things could go back to normal. It was all a matter of time and patience. Sirius was not adhering to her internal plans… not that she wanted him to know anything about what went on in her head. He’d just take advantage of it.

        Sirius stared at her, not buying the act, before turning around. “Aye, Moony, come over here.”

        Seconds passed and the color drained from Y/N’s face.

        “Don’t worry, he didn’t hear us,” Sirius said with a grin, eye dropping down into a wink that drove most of Hogwarts wild, “but you guys are about to talk. Good luck, mate.”

        He disappeared around the corner and Y/N strained her ears trying to hear the end of what murmured conversation went on between Remus and Sirius when they met. Sirius’s loud footsteps echoed in her corner as he left, replaced by Remus’s nervous face peering around the bookcase.

        “Hi,” Y/N said nervously, wanting to bury her face into her sleeves. She couldn’t do that without looking like a child so she just ran her hands over her copy of Beauty and the Beastand hoped (prayed, more like) for the best.

        Remus walked deeper into the corner. “Hi,” he returned.

       They stared at each other without erupting into quiet conversation as they usually did when alone, and Y/N felt like screaming knowing she’d caused the rift. If she was honest—and she bloody well had to be, knowing that she’d done what she had to Remus’s feelings—she’d put her feelings over his and prioritized her own discomfort. She ran because she didn’t like how she was thinking or feeling. Remus didn’t even get a chance to coast along; he was left in dirt, befuddled and bereaved.

        “I’m sorry,” Y/N choked out.

        “I’m sorry, too,” Remus immediately said, his head of chestnut hair falling so that his scalp was visible to Y/N but his face wasn’t. His voice was shaking, like he was fighting a battle with his own nerves—and losing. “I don’t know what I did to hurt you, but I’m sorry. If my… if my problem’s what’s bothering you, I promise I won’t bother you anymore. I just thought—”

        “Remus,” Y/N said, realizing what he thought. Realizing she was the biggest fucking idiot—biggest fucking jerk—in the universe. He thought she was avoiding him because he was a werewolf. That was the furthest thing from her mind, but how could she put that into words? She was shaking from all the things she should say, could say, didn’t say, and all she mustered was his name, coming out like a sob. “That’s not…”

        “It’s okay,” Remus said with a barely controlled breech in composure. His eyes betrayed him, signaling to Y/N that he felt disgusted with himself and he was in pain. Because of me. Y/N wanted to stand up and hug him. She knew she needed to reassure him that he was so wrong, that she would never turn her back on him because of something out of his control, but the pit of self-loathing in her stomach was making words escape her. “I know I’m a monster… You don’t have to apologize. I deserve it—”

        “Remus, goddammit,” Y/N said. She began to feel angry about how he was talking about himself.

        Remus continued on, his face turning wet with tears; “I know that what I am is always going to be a part of me, I don’t expect anyone to accept it. I don’t accept myself. How can I expect anyone else to? You were kind enough to even give me what you have—"

        “I love you!” Y/N burst out, louder than she’d ever talked, unwilling to listen anymore. She knew everyone in the library probably heard her but she didn’t care. Her attention was all for Remus, her mind exploding with persistent reasons why she should flee again—but she was tired of running. And she was tired of hurting Remus in the process. She was tired of him thinking she ran from him because of that, something he could never have helped. “I love you, Remus, but I’m scared. Not scared of you. Not scared of your problem. Hell, I don’t even care about that! Okay? I’m scared of ruining everything we have. We’ve been friends since bloody first year! That’s a long time! Sirius is like a brother, and James and Peter are some of my best mates that you’ve given me. If I—if I love you like this, it’s broken. It’s fucking ruined, innit? Things would never be the same and I, I’d rather break my heart a thousand times than walk over yours.”

        “Y/N…” Remus stared at her, mouth agape. If there was a word for his expression, he was confounded.

        “I’m sorry,” she whispered in return. And she was, so bloody sorry she could build a mountain out of her apologies. “

        “Don—don’t be sorry,” Remus said, more assertive, turning his head every which way like he had a fever he couldn’t shake. “Y/N… I love you, too. You know that, right? I thought… How could you love someone who’s a monster?”

        “Remus, shut the bloody hell up. You’renot a monster. You’re kind and selfless and brave and smart, and if anyone doesn’t deserve someone, it’s me. I don’t deserve you, Remus. But I love you more than I’ve loved anyone in my life and it’s unimaginable what I’d do for you. You give me butterflies but you also make me more scared than I was during O.W.L’s week. You’re just—perfect, Remus. Bloody perfect. And I’m sorry for running but know it was never because of you—it’s because I was afraid to lose you.”

        “You won’t ever lose me, Y/N,” Remus said with tears. Y/N had gotten up from her chair, book falling off her lap, and she was there to wipe them away. She held his head in her hands, staring at him like he was her whole bloody world. She hoped he saw it. “I… you’re my best friend. And you’re the love of my life. I’ve been afraid, too, but maybe we can have both without losing either.”

        “If anyone can make that happen, it’s us,” Y/N said, laughing through her tears.

        Remus was not a monster and at the end of the day Y/N wasn’t either.

But hurting the people you loved was something a monster did, does. So what did that make Y/N? 

[adenei]

Bad Blood

Written for The House Cup Competition - Standard. For this challenge, we were given a list of pairings to choose from and write a story. This is very much out of the wheelhouse of anything I write, so I wasn't going to post it here, but I figure I haven't posted anything lately, and y'all have been leaving my prompt/ask box empty so...

This is a [negative pairing] story about Remus Lupin and Marlene McKinnon. It was so hard to write Remus negatively because I love him. There's not much I know about Marlene, so it was kind of fun to play around with her character! There's a wee bit of Jily thrown into the mix, so I hope y'all give this a chance! It's quite angsty, but I enjoyed writing the Marauders era!

Bad Blood

“Hey, Remus,” Marlene McKinnon called from the other end of the corridor.

Remus cringed as he pretended not to hear her. His feet kept moving swiftly as he made his way to the library where he was supposed to tutor some younger Gryffindors before dinner. Unfortunately, Marlene didn’t give up and leave him alone. 

“Didn’t you hear me calling?” Marlene asked as she sidled up next to him.

“Oh, hi Marlene. I didn’t, no,” he said curtly.

“Are you headed to the library?” she asked. Merlin, couldn’t she take a hint?

“Yes, I’m due to tutor a group of third years, and I’m running late. So if you don’t—”

“I’m heading there, too!” Marlene said quickly, cutting him off. “We can walk together,” she said with a sweet smile.

“Er…” 

Remus always had a hard time saying no. He was the voice of reason with his inner circle of friends, always trying to see the good in people. With Marlene, though, she was getting to be a bit much.

Dismissing his hesitation, Marlene pushed on with her chatty nature. “So, are you going to Hogsmeade this weekend?”

“Haven’t decided,” Remus responded shortly.

It wasn’t exactly a lie, since he technically hadn’t. Sirius had his own date with a fellow seventh year Ravenclaw he’d been seeing recently, and Peter was serving detention because he broke a set of glass vials in Potions today. Slughorn was furious. James was trying to convince Remus to join him and Lily, but he had his reservations and didn’t want to be a third wheel.

“Oh, well, I’m free if you want to go together?” Marlene asked while she fluttered her eyelashes up at him.

Remus tried not to outwardly cringe, though he felt his insides shrivel in annoyance. This had to stop. This was the fifth time she’d approached him about going to Hogsmeade together. Apparently, politeness wasn’t going to work anymore. They reached the doors of the library and Remus stopped and turned to Marlene. 

“I appreciate your tenacity, but in tandem with the other four times you’ve asked me this year, it’s a no. I’m not interested.”  

Remus turned quickly so he didn’t have to see the hurt look on her face. He wasn’t Sirius. He couldn’t just turn someone down and not feel anything. So he chose the cowardly way out, as he quickly opened the door to the library.  Marlene was left standing speechless outside the doors.

****

“The nerve of him!” Marlene complained to Lily.

“What did Sirius do this time?” Lily asked with an eye roll.

Marlene laughed derisively, “Not Sirius, Remus! You’re awful at paying attention to things ever since you let James into your life.”

“Remus would never hurt a fly—” Lily started to say.

“Ha! That’s what he wants you to think! But you weren’t there. Nooo! You didn’t witness the way he treated me outside the library!”

“Mar, I’m sure it’s nothing,” Lily defended, in an attempt to keep the peace between her friends and James’.

“It most certainly is not nothing! What have I done? I didn’t even specify that I wanted it to be a date! What is wrong with him that he won’t let anyone else in besides James, Sirius and Peter? Is he hiding some dark secret or something?”

Lily shoved her nose closer to the parchment as she wrote her essay, hoping that Marlene wouldn’t catch the slight blush on her face. She’d only just learned about Remus’ condition, and had sworn to James she wouldn’t tell a soul.

“Maybe he’s just introverted,” Lily offered, hoping to take Marlene off the scent.

“Well, he doesn’t have to be a jerk about it!” Marlene complained. “Maybe I just wanted to go as friends! To get to know him a bit better! Not everything has to be a date just because we’re seventeen!” 

Lily shot her a look. “But you want to be more than friends, and you and I both know it, so stop trying to talk your way out of that.”

Marlene stuck out her tongue in a rather unbecoming manner. “Correction: wanted to be more than friends. Not anymore! Now, what am I going to do? Go to Hogsmeade alone? Stay in the castle and be bored out of my mind?” Her pout turned into an evil grin when she developed another thought. 

“Ohh, what if I go wherever Remus goes. If he stays here, I’ll just happen to stay back in the Common Room or the library to study across from him. Give him a constant reminder of what he could have had if he just gave me a chance!”

Lily set her quill down. “Marlene, you’re crossing the line to creepy. Just let it go. Why don’t you join James and me at The Three Broomsticks for a drink? That way you can get out of the castle and not be alone all day. Then, you can go do whatever shopping you need to accomplish and head back up to the castle.”

Marlene folded her arms and thought about what Lily had offered. The sour look began to dissolve on her face. “I guess I could do that. Only if James promises not to be a prat, and that it won’t feel like I’m the third wheel.”

“You know I can’t promise a prat-free James, but I’ll do my best to make it not feel like you’re tagging along on a date. How’s that?” Lily reasoned.

Marlene’s eyes turned upward as she thought about the proposed plan. “Okay, I suppose that will work.”

*****

“Wait, wait, wait. Let me get this straight. Marlene McKinnon asked you on a date, and you turned her down?” James asked Remus.

“You weren’t there! You didn’t hear how pushy she was being, James! This is the fifth time she’s pressed the issue! I had no choice, but to turn her down. I’m not interested!”

“She’s not really that bad, Rem,” James countered.

“I never used to think so either, but I can’t stand it when people don’t take no for an answer! If that was me pushing her and she said no, I’d get detention for harassing her!”

“I think that’s a little extreme—”

“It is not! Look, I am perfectly fine keeping to myself. I don’t need to date anyone. I’m too dangerous. It’s bad enough that you three and Lily know.”

“You wouldn’t have to—” James tried to cut in, but Remus held up a hand to interrupt him.

“Can you imagine if she found out? She’s one of the head gossipers in this school. That’d be the end of me! I’ve gotten this far, and I’m not about to ruin it by laying false trust in her. I don’t know how Lily can stand her.”

James snorted. “Is this one of those things you’re going to ask me not to repeat?”

“What do you think? When you and Lily are too busy making eyes at each other in Transfiguration, I have to listen to her drone on and on about who broke up with who, or what the latest trend is in Witch Weekly. Doesn’t she ever get tired of hearing herself talk?”

James wasn’t used to hearing Remus go off like this. He always tried to be a pillar of reservation and neutrality. “Tell me how you really feel, Moon.”

“That is how I really feel!”

“Alright, alright. So Marlene’s just a pretty face, but pushy as hell. Anything else you want to vent about?”

“Have I mentioned how overbearing she is?”

“Once or twice.”

“Then I think I’m good. I’m sorry, I don’t normally complain about people,” Remus apologized.

“No need to apologize, Moony! I’m loving this side of you!” James said.

“Well, don’t get used to it. Looks like I’ll be spending another Hogsmeade weekend in the castle,” Remus sighed.

“Why don’t you join Evans and I? We’re going to The Three Broomsticks this time. Have a drink with us, get out for a bit. The full moon’s not for another week; why don’t you try to enjoy yourself for once. Let loose a bit?”

“I don’t know, Prongs,” Remus said, shaking his head.

“It’s one drink. That’s all I’m asking. Please? You and Lily can talk potions, or whatever it is you two geek out over,” James pressed, knowing Remus would fold when his favorite subject was mentioned.

“Fine, but only one drink,” Remus conceded.

****

James and Remus were sitting at a table in the Three Broomsticks when Lily and Marlene walked in. “Is this some kind of sick joke?” Marlene asked, immediately rounding on Lily.

“What are you talking about?” Lily asked. 

“Very funny, Lily. What is he doing here?” 

Lily looked in the direction that Marlene was pointing, and was shocked to see Remus sitting with James. “I—I have no idea. Why don’t we go and see? I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation—” Before Lily could finish, Marlene was already storming over to the table.

“So, you couldn’t accept my invitation to go to Hogsmeade, but you can come here with James and taunt me over it?” Marlene seethed.

“I didn’t know you were going to be here,” Remus responded coldly to her as he glared at James.

“Well, Lily invited me to spend the afternoon with her and James, so you can go get to your studying, or whatever excuse you had to not accompany me today,” Marlene said with a snarl.

“And James invited me for one drink, so I’m committed to staying for that as well,” Remus said, not backing down.

“I’m going to go get a drink,” Lily said quickly, noticing that there were only three on the table. 

“I’ll come with you!” James said as he shot out of his seat. “I’ll be right back,” he mouthed to Remus.

Marlene and Remus both sat at the table and stared indignantly at each other. It was almost as if they were in a contest of who could glare silently at the other longest. It was Marlene who finally broke the silence.

“What did I ever do to you anyway?” she asked. “I’ve been nothing but nice to you over the last seven years!’

Remus was taking a sip of his Butterbeer and almost snorted it out of his nose. “You’ve been nice to my face, but who knows what you may have said behind my back. I’ve heard the things you say about Sirius and Peter, and even James before he started dating Lily. Why would I want to place myself in the presence of someone as toxic as you?”

He’d probably regret his words later on, but he always tended to get moodier a week before the full moon hit. Controlling his anger was difficult, and of course James had sought refuge at the bar, leaving him completely vulnerable.

“I’ve never had a single mean thing to say about you until this week! You deserve it now after the way you treated me. Apparently, your niceties and caring air is just a facade for your standoffish self-righteousness. I should have known you were too good to be true!”

Lily and James returned as Marlene finished her latest insult. They eyed the two nervously as they sat back down. Remus was seeing red, and it didn’t take James long to catch the wolfish look in his eyes. 

He put a hand on Remus’ shoulder and said under his breath, “Easy there Moony.”

This brought Remus down slightly from the rage he was feeling. “Well, I’m sorry you took my disinterest for rudeness. Perhaps you should grow a thicker skin,” he said through gritted teeth.

Marlene was ready to respond when Lily intervened. “So, how about Sluggy’s Potions essay? I’m personally having a difficult time looking up the ingredients for Mopses Potion without utilizing the Restricted Section.”

Lily’s diversion was enough to prevent more arguing amongst Marlene and Remus, but did not help the next hour pass by any faster. The tension between the two never dissipated, and the awkwardness remained, as neither made an effort to keep the conversation flowing. Eventually, both decided they had enough and took their leave.

“Thanks for the lovely afternoon, Lily,” Marlene said, sarcasm dripping from her words as she glared at Remus.

“Yes, James. It was positively splendid. Now I know what I’ve been missing out on when I stay at the castle. I’ll see you later,” Remus said with a look that told James he’d be receiving an earful later.

James shot a grimace at Lily as they watched the two head for separate exits. “Well, that was a disaster.”

[january3693]

Someone We Used to Know - Part 42

(This is a Marauders Era AU about what might have changed if Sirius was expelled after the Prank. Here’s the Master List if you’d like to start from the beginning or find a specific part)

Sirius puts the “Do Not Disturb” hanger on the door. Remus sends one of those talking patronuses to James so he doesn’t worry. Then they fall into bed, hands tugging clothing, lips against skin, bodies seeking friction.

They don’t leave the hotel room all day.

It’s not all sex. When they get hungry, Sirius orders room service. When they need time to recover, Remus turns on the television and they cuddle and doze through soap operas, children’s programmes, and bits of a rugby match.

They talk, just not about anything of consequence.

This day is a bubble, safe and separate from the world at large. Troubles and the future are not welcome here. Not today.

The day ends though, as all days do.

Sleep claims both of them, exhausted and content, for a little while at least.

*

Sirius wakes early the next morning. That’s normal.

Everything else about this situation is far from normal.

On the rare occasions he’s trusted another person enough to let them fall asleep in his bed, Sirius usually wakes irritable and uncomfortable, typically crowded to the far edge of the mattress because he doesn’t enjoy being touched in his sleep.

Today, he wakes at dawn feeling languid and restored, tangled in a knot of bedsheets and Remus.

He stays as still as possible, barely daring to breath.

Remus is snoring lightly, but Sirius is afraid he’ll wake him if he moves. Besides, he doesn’t really want to move anyway. He’s warm and happy, and he doesn’t want to ruin this moment for anything. He wants to savor it.

Soon enough, another morning habit arises and refuses to be ignored. If he doesn’t get up soon, Sirius is going to wet the bed, which is incredibly unromantic.

As Sirius climbs out of bed, Remus blinks awake for a moment, mumbles something incoherent, and rolls over onto his stomach before falling back asleep.

He’s always slept like the dead.

Necessity taken care of a minute later, Sirius begins to panic.

The bubble that encased yesterday has popped.

He doesn’t know what to do next.

Sirius has never lingered in bed with any of his previous lovers.

This is different though.

This is Remus.

Not that it matters. While Sirius was in the bathroom, Remus rolled to sprawl across the entire mattress. It’s adorable, but it doesn’t help Sirius figure out what to do next.

He stands naked and indecisive in the middle of the room for minutes before he decides to follow his usual morning routine.

Squinting in the wan light, Sirius goes to the briefcase sitting on the table and clicks the little dial lock until the numbers read 2-1-1. When he opens it, folding trays spring up and out, too many to fit in the shallow confines of the leather briefcase.

All of the trays are partitioned into small sections, each holding a single small object. Almost all of them are visibly mundane, but that’s the point. Sirius is pragmatic and frugal about his magic, even when practicing.

Today, he selects just two things: a padlock and a glass marble.

Remus sleeps on, even as Sirius pulls on a pair of pajama bottoms and opens the drapes to let in a bit more light.

He sits cross-legged on the floor, facing the windows and the balcony, the objects in front of him. Then he closes his eyes and breathes deep.

It’s more difficult than usual to relax and center himself. Even with his eyes closed, Sirius’s other senses pick up the irregularities. The room smells of sweat and sex. He can hear Remus breathing and snoring, and there are light, pleasant aches in muscles that aren’t used to being exercised like they were yesterday.

Still, after a few minutes of focusing on his breath and his body and his magic, Sirius feels himself fall into that familiar headspace. The world narrows, his mind fills with a mantra of spells.

He reaches out, eyes still closed, and picks up the lock. His hand movements are nothing like the motions he would make with a wand. They’re smaller, subtler. Intimate.

This is one of the places people go wrong when shifting from wand magic to the wandless variety. Hands are not wands. Fingers are not wands. Skin is not wood, and if bone is a magical core it’s not one stolen from some other creature.

Sirius drags a finger across the surface of the lock, tracing the shape of it, letting the warmth of his skin warm the cold metal. He could overpower it, force his magic into the lock until it bends and breaks to his will. That’s how most wizards who come to wandless magic later in life do it. They’re used to channeling their power into the singular point of their wand.

It’s an effective method, when one has a wand. Without a wand, it’s crude and wasteful.

When Sirius whispers a quiet “Alohomora” and strokes a finger across the padlock’s dial, it pops open almost eagerly for him.

He does that a few more times, reinforcing muscle memory. This is the most useful spell in his thief’s arsenal. When he’s satisfied, Sirius sets the lock aside and picks up the marble.

This time he runs through a wider array of spells, changing its color, shape, size, and composition.

A spring groans as the bed shifts. It’s never done that before, and Sirius wonders if he and Remus actually succeeded in breaking the bed yesterday. When Sirius opens his eyes, he finds Remus sitting up in bed, watching him.

“That’s impressive.” Remus says it like he means it, which means he’s probably been watching for a while. Sirius smiles and sets the marble aside.

“It’s all in the hands,” he says. He climbs onto the bed, running a hand up Remus’s leg. Remus shivers under his touch—another lock undone by Sirius’s gentle, prying fingers.

“I can’t stay, Sirius, not today. I have…” Remus trails off, failing to come up with a convincing excuse as Sirius’s hand reaches his thigh. Sirius stops anyway.

The bubble truly has popped.

Sirius hasn’t asked any questions about what brought Remus to his hotel the night before last. He knows. Not the details, but the general shape of things.

He keeps his promise. He bites his tongue.

He doesn’t ask the questions that flood his mind.

Instead, Sirius closes his eyes and takes a deep breathe, seeing an alternate life stretch out before him.

The path not taken. Or, perhaps more accurately, the path taken away from him.

In that life, Sirius stayed at Hogwarts. He even managed to keep his friends. He still would have fallen out with his family, only maybe this time he really would have gone to James and his parents for help. Yes, that sounds right. After graduating, Sirius would have jumped right into battle alongside his friends.

In that other life, Sirius is a soldier right now.

No, not a soldier. Soldiers fight for governments and get things like uniforms and pensions. Whatever Remus is involved in, it’s more along the lines of guerillas or vigilantes—maybe freedom fighters, if you’re being charitable. That’s beside the point though.

In another life, Sirius is fighting alongside his friends. He’s fighting for what he believes in. He’s fighting for his life and the lives of those he loves.

Fuck, that’s hard to picture.

He’d have done it in an instant at sixteen, but he’s a different person now.

Now, Sirius opens his eyes and looks up at Remus, feeling a hollow ache, a secondhand sense of fear for Remus, and for James and Peter as well.

The silence has stretched out for too long now, far past the point where a conversation can easily recover. Sirius stares up at Remus, who is avoiding his gaze, staring out that crack in the curtains instead.

Sirius wonders if this is how it truly ends. He looks away, back down at the lock sitting on the floor next to the marble. Maybe it’s for the best.

Five years, a war, and their respective secrets are just too much for two nights and a day of passion to overcome.

He reaches out and kisses Remus again anyway.

“Can I see you again?” He asks.

Remus kisses him back, and Sirius takes it for the yes it so clearly is.

The rest they can work out another day.

(Part 43)

[owlways-and-forever]

Summary: Lily Evans thought her life would be normal. Well, as normal as it can be for a muggle-born witch in England. But when her boyfriend turns out to be the prince of the wizarding world, and tensions begin to rise among factions of wizarding society, Lily must find her way in situations she never anticipated, and try not to lose sight of her identity. Word Count: 6,355 (27,974) Links: ao3 | FFnet | Tumblr: Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5, Ch 6

A/N: Okay, so first of all, sorry for missing an update and then being late for this weekend's. Life has been a little crazy and a touch stressful lately. I got a promotion at work, and even though its awesome, its been a little stressful trying to adjust to my new position, and my schedule has been thrown off. I'm still going to try to stick to every other weekend, but it may or may not happen - my sister's baby shower is in a few weeks and then it won't be long until her due date, so life is going to be pretty crazy for a while. But I'll do my best!

This is a very long chapter though, so at least you're rewarded for all your patience! It was a lot of fun writing this, and trying to envision how Hogwarts graduation might work. Full disclosure - I do not know any latin, so everything here is Google translated/from a source describing Cambridge Uni's graduations. You'll see a few names in the graduation that you might not recognize - I borrowed some of my OCs from my other Marauder's era work, just a couple that I love with all my heart and felt compelled to bring along. Plus, you know, I had to bulk up the numbers somehow - it wouldn't really be realistic to have only 8 graduates, now would it? I hope you enjoy this chapter! 

And a friendly reminder that you can follow @whitefirepalace on Instagram for some edits that follow along with the story!Enjoy and feel free to leave a comment! :D

Chapter 7

“Oh my god, will you just do as I say?” Lily hissed exasperatedly out in the hall, and James had to stifle a laugh.

Moments later Marlene was shoved unceremoniously through the doorway of the classroom, tripping a bit over her feet before steadying herself and looking around. Dorcas and Mary entered a bit more normally behind her, with Lily following after all of them and closing the door.

“What the hell is going on?” Marlene swore, glaring at James and Lily.

“There’s something that I want you to know, that I want you to hear from me,” James began nervously. Somehow, sharing his secret never got any easier. Lily laced their fingers together and he could feel warmth and reassurance flowing from her.

“Are you dying or something?” Marlene asked with narrowed eyes. “Oh my god, did you knock Lily up?”

“No!” he answered hurriedly, completely caught off guard by the suggestion. “No, I… I’ve been at school under a pseudonym, and at graduation they’ll be calling me forward as James Eideard Aneirin, Prince of Scotland. There’s more titles and technically it should be HRH, but I’ve got Dumbledore to stick to that. It’s a tiny bit less pompous I think.”

“Are you genuinely telling us that you’re Prince James?” Marlene scoffed, while Mary and Dorcas shared surprised looks behind her back.

“Yep,” James said, pulling out the signet ring he kept hidden on a chain under his clothes and tossing it to her. “Family heirloom that, so be careful.”

Marlene turned the little ring over in her fingers, examining every small detail with wide eyes. When she was satisfied, she handed it back to him, her mouth gaping in shock.

“Who else knows?” Mary asked quietly.

“Well, Lily obviously,” he replied, fingers nervously playing with his glasses. “Sirius, Remus and Peter. And all the staff. But after graduation, everyone will know, so you don’t have to keep the secret.”

“You knew this whole time!” Marlene hissed, swatting at Lily.

Lily simply shrugged. Of course she knew, and of course she’d kept his secret. That’s what partners did, after all.

“Aren’t you worried that people will tell stories to the press about what a horrible, scandalous party animal you are and stuff?” Dorcas asked.

“A bit, but to be honest, I think the people who actually know any juicy stories won’t say anything,” James answered after a moment. “I’m pretty careful about the company I keep.”

“I suppose we should feel honoured then,” Marlene quipped, with just a touch too much bite in it.

“I’m sorry if you feel like I’ve betrayed you by not telling you sooner,” he said, the picture of contrition. “I just… I always wanted to be myself, to be normal.”

“It’s alright, James, we understand,” Mary answered for the group. “Thank you for telling us.”

James nodded and turned to Lily.

“I’ll leave you guys be for a bit,” he whispered, so only she could hear. “If there’s anything you need, or if they have any questions…”

Lily smiled and pushed a lock of his hair away from his forehead.

“We’ll be fine, go find the boys.”

James ducked out of the room, leaving the four girls alone. It was silent for a few moments as Lily waited to see what her friends would say.

“How could you not tell us?” Marlene burst out at last.

“He asked me not to,” Lily said, knowing full well that it would not be a popular answer.

“And apparently he matters more than we do,” Marlene spat.

It was an unfair statement. In the beginning, of course her friends had mattered more. James had just been a boyfriend and they were her best friends. But along the way he had become so much more - her partner, her future. He wasn’t more important than her friends, but they weren’t more important than him anymore either. They both mattered to her immensely. They were equal.

“It’s his life, Marlene,” Lily replied, trying to push down the sting of Marlene’s words.

“Oh, it’s not like any of us hate the royal family and would’ve tried to off him if we knew,” Marlene huffed, starting to pace back and forth.

“I think she meant that it wasn’t hers to tell,” Mary offered helpfully, but it only made Marlene spin on her.

“And you’re not mad at Sirius for not telling you?” she asked harshly.

“No, but we’re also… we’re not James and Lily, Whatever we are will be done after graduation, or at least by the end of the summer,” Mary admitted.

“Why would you say that?” Lily asked, partly in concern for her friend, but partly trying to seize any change in the conversation.

“It’s been fun, but it just could never go anywhere,” Mary shrugged, though she seemed to be putting on a good face. She had never been the most forthcoming about her feelings. “His family and they’re… station… he could never be with a muggle-born. And besides everyone knows that Sirius and Remus are in love with each other and they just don’t know it.”

Dorcas wrapped an arm around Mary, and Lily reached out for her, but Mary just shook her head.

“No, it’s fine, really. If they ever figure it out, they’ll be happy together,” Mary pressed. “I’ll find somebody more suited for me once we’re away from school, I’m sure.”

“There’ll be so many more people,” Lily agreed.

The room grew quiet again, no one really sure what to say.

“So I guess you’re going to be a princess then,” Marlene said, a bit begrudgingly. Lily smiled. She knew it, sooner or later, Marlene’s fascination with the royal family would overpower whatever else she felt.

“Yeah,” she answered, smiling more broadly. “Not imminently or anything, but someday.”

“So you don’t want James to propose yet?” Dorcas asked, her tone a little bit doubtful.

“I’m not sure I feel any which way about it,” Lily shrugged. “I don’t know that I want to be someone’s wife yet, but I’m also pretty positive about him, so I don’t really feel like I need to wait. I guess whenever he asks, I’ll say yes.”

“So is graduation the first time you’ll meet his family?” Marlene asked, her anger dissipating with every question.

“No, I went to the Palace during the Easter holidays.” Lily began telling her friends all about seeing James as the Prince during official duties and seeing the Palace and her talk with the Queen and her freakout afterward. They listened with rapt attention, and Lily realized just how good it felt to let out this big secret.

o . o . o

James sighed as he set aside his glasses, dipping his fingers into the tub of smoothing solution and applying it generously to his hair until it lay cooperatively, looking perfectly coiffed. Over the years he’d gotten quite good at styling his hair for these appearances, always going for a signature sweepback with a clean side part. A real Christopher Reeve-Superman look. It was how Prince James was supposed to look - neat and tidy and perfect. It never felt like who he was at Hogwarts though, where he had been free to be simply James Potter.

But all that was ending. James Potter didn’t exist anymore. Today, he would step out into the Great Hall and James Potter would vanish into thin air, his privacy and his personal identity gone. It was time to assume his public face and his duties as the heir to the throne.

For all that James had told Lily that he wouldn’t change after graduation, how could he not? Sure, fundamentally he might be the same… he’d stil like the same foods and yell at Quidditch players more than he ought to during matches and he’d always love Lily. But at the same time, he would have different responsibilities and pressures every day. Instead of homework and Prefect duties it would be patronages and state visits. Diplomacy and politics and staying out of all of it while still leading the country through it. And on top of all of it, there was the war. Who would he become to deal with all of that? He didn’t know, and it terrified him.

“C’mon Your Highness,” Sirius mocked, tying his own bowtie. “You don’t want to be late for your own graduation. What on earth would people think then?”

“Maybe that I’m bloody human,” James snapped, snatching his black robe off his bed.

“Grumpy today, are we?” Sirius pushed, swatting James’ hands aside and straightening his bowtie for him.

“I just hate that everything has to change now,” James huffed. “I hate putting you all through this, and Lily. All of you are going to be under so much scrutiny now.”

“Well, lucky thing your friend is devilishly handsome then,” Sirius laughed, shrugging off James’ concerns like it was water rolling down his back.

“We all knew what we were getting into,” Remus interrupted, stepping out of the bathroom. “If any of this bothered us, we could’ve walked away a long time ago. We’re with you, we don’t mind.”

“Remus, especially for you… people will find out eventually…” James groaned, dragging his hands across his face.

“It’s okay, it was never going to stay secret outside of Hogwarts anyway,” Remus shrugged, the worry in his eyes the only betrayal of the true weight of his feelings. “It’s a lot more conspicuous when you don’t have eight teachers covering for you every month.”

“Remus is right,” Peter said quietly. “We all chose to stand by your side. You aren’t forcing any of us into anything.”

James nodded reluctantly, trying to resist the urge to run his hands through his hair even as his fingers twitched.

“Let’s go, or we really will be late,” Remus said.

The four boys nodded together and grabbed their robes, setting off through the Common Room and leaving Gryffindor Tower for the last time. They walked through the quiet halls, stopping at the Transfiguration classroom, where all the graduating Gryffindors were gathered. Professor McGonagall sat at her desk, pointedly ignoring the chattering students, not caring what they did as they waited as long as they weren’t disruptive.

It wasn’t unusual for everyone to look the same, since they had, after all, all worn the same uniform every day. But for some reason it seemed more odd today. The boys all had black pants and white shirts, with red bowties and thin red cummerbunds under their black graduation robes. The girls looked similar in black skirts with red waistbands and white dress shirts. They all held hoods in their hand that had different colored linings indicating their primary course of study. Lily’s was green, for Healing, James’ was purple for Law. Sirius had a red hood for Defense, while Remus had a blue hood for Academia and Peter had orange for Governance. James looked at the rainbow around the room, picking out the rest of his friends. Marlene wore red like Sirius, Dorcas had orange, and Mary had a double striped hood - white for Arts and green for Healing. She was one of only two students who had been allowed to do a double course.

Lily smiled at James when she saw him, and the four boys went over to join their friends. James reached out for Lily’s hand, lacing his fingers together with hers and squeezing tightly. He knew she must be as anxious as he was for the day. But she only smiled and chatted happily with their friends, hiding her nerves well.

Marlene did a double-take as James joined them, her eyes scanning over his face critically.

“It really is you,” she said, and James tried to shrug nonchalantly in response.

The minutes ticked by agonizingly slowly until finally Professor McGonagall stood from her desk, and the room immediately fell silent, fifteen pairs of eyes focused on her.

“Please line up alphabetically by last name,” she said, fixing them all with a stern look. “I trust you don’t need my assistance with that.”

There was a brief pause before they all scurried into motion, hurrying to find their spots. It didn’t take them long to get in order, especially with Professor McGonagall watching them with a stern expression. But she seemed to soften as they waited to leave.

“Before we join the other houses and make our way to the Great Hall for the ceremony, I want to tell you all what a pleasure it has been to have you in my house.” She seemed to get emotional, her eyes glistening slightly. “You are an exceptional group of young men and women, and I look forward to seeing the many wonderful things that you will accomplish in the years to come.”

“I knew you liked us!” Sirius shouted triumphantly, and the rest of the Gryffindors burst into peals of laughter.

“And despite a lovely seven years together, I greet your departure with joy - especially you, Mr. Black - and wish you the best of luck moving forward,” she replied, but the smile playing at the corner of her lips was enough to tell them all that she was teasing them. Perhaps she wouldn’t go so far as to say that she would miss them, but there was not a student in the bunch that did not fill her with a warm sense of affection and pride. They had come a long way. “Right, time to move. Follow me.”

With that, she swept from the room, the line of Gryffindors following behind her. Professor Flitwick was leading the line of Ravenclaws through the halls as well, and they all shared excited and nervous smiles with each other. Professor Sprout and Professor Slughorn arrived at the Entrance Hall with the lines of graduating Hufflepuffs and Slytherins at the same time, and they all stepped into their formation.

Music trumpeted through the Great Hall as the oak doors swung open, and a whirlpool of excitement and anticipation bubbled in James’ stomach as they all marched through together. The tables had been removed, replaced with rows upon rows of wooden chairs, each occupied by a family member. Four rows had been left empty at the front for the graduating students, and they all filed in stoically. An opera box had been added to the right, set back into the wall so that it was cleverly concealed from those sitting further back. The King and Queen sat there, looking as regal as ever in their crimson and gold robes. James wondered how such a box had even been made, but he supposed the answer was simply ‘magic’.

The music seamlessly transitioned into a fanfare, and the entire crowd stood, a hundred voices joining in a chorus of God Save the Queen. When it finished, everyone resumed their seats, and Dumbledore stepped forward to initiate the ceremony.

“It is with great joy that I am able to open this graduation. These students have completed a very challenging array of coursework, and many of them have done so while pursuing a myriad of wonderful extracurricular activities. We are all very proud of the feat that they have accomplished, and feel that each deserves immense recognition.”

Black silk banners streamed out from the tops of the windows, darkening the room.

“We must first take a moment to remember and acknowledge Davey Gudgeon, who would have been graduating today if he had not departed this world prematurely. His loss has been felt severely by many of our students, and he will always be remembered as the truly exceptional student that he was.”

Professor Dumbledore bowed his head, and everyone in the Great Hall echoed his movement. The room was silent as those that knew Davey reflected on his friendship. After a minute, Dumbledore raised his head again, and the banners covering the window rolled themselves up and then vanished with a snap .

“Now, for a more celebratory mood!” His voice had taken on a much more jovial tune, the smile reappearing on his face.

Professor McGonagall stepped forward, conjuring a scroll and unspooling it as she began to read in a booming voice.

“Dignissima domina, Archididascalum et tota Academia praesento vobis haec viros quam scio tam moribus quam doctrina esse idoneum ad gradum assequendum Academia; idque tibi fide mea praesto totique Academiae.”

All of the students who had followed the academic course stood, their blue hoods blended together like a bright summer sky.

“I formally request that the following men and women be awarded a degree in Academia,” Professor McGonagall said, in English this time, the formality of her demeanor never wavering for a second. She read through each student’s name and, and one at a time they stepped forward to become graduates.

“Remus John Lupin,” she announced, and James straightened up, watching as his friend moved forward and knelt before the Headmaster, his head bowed reverently.

“Auctoritate mihi commissa admitto te ad gradum Academia, in nomine Ministerium, Hogwarts, et Godric Gryffindor,” Dumbledore said, as his hands closed around Remus’.

Remus arose and turned around with a grin spreading from ear to ear as he returned to his seat. Once all the students from the Academic course had their degrees conferred upon them, Professor McGonagall began again.

“Dignissima domina, Archididascalum et tota Academia praesento vobis haec viros quam scio tam moribus quam doctrina esse idoneum ad gradum assequendum Artium; idque tibi fide mea praesto totique Academiae. I formally request that the following men and women be awarded a degree in Arts.”

There were only three students who stood, wearing the white hoods, the contrast against their black robes looking rather like an old-timey photograph.

“Benjamin Daniel Fenwick,” Professor McGonagall called, and Benjy stepped forward, kneeling in front of Professor Dumbledore to be granted his degree in the name of the Ministry, Hogwarts, and Godric Gryffindor.

“Mary Charlotte MacDonald,” McGonagall called next, and Mary floated forward, smiling sweetly.

As Mary knelt, she listened to Dumbledore’s words like they were breathing new life into her, as if they could transform her in some tangible way, rather than just being stuffy words dictated by a centuries-old ceremony.

“Sybill Cassandra Trelawney,” was called forward next, nearly knocking Mary over in her haste to make her way to the dais.

She blinked her large, buglike eyes at Professor Dumbledore and clung to his hands as he recited the words, “...in nomine Ministerium, Hogwarts, et Rowena Ravenclaw.”

“Dignissima domina, Archididascalum et tota Academia praesento vobis haec viros quam scio tam moribus quam doctrina esse idoneum ad gradum assequendum Curatio,” Professor McGonagall began again, calling forth the second largest course, “idque tibi fide mea praesto totique Academiae. I formally request that the following men and women be awarded a degree in Healing. Lily Jane Evans.”

James felt pride swell within him as he watched Lily move forward and kneel before Dumbledore. She bowed her head and locks of red hair fell forward over her shoulder, obscuring her face, but it didn’t matter. James knew that her expression was solemn and her eyes were probably closed as Dumbledore clasped her hands and recited the words.

“Auctoritate mihi commissa admitto te ad gradum Curatio, in nomine Ministerium, Hogwarts, et Godric Gryffindor.”

Lily stood, beaming, looking as proud as James felt of her. She had worked so hard, especially during the past year, and had excelled in all her courses. He felt a pang of regret that her degree would be for nought soon enough, forced to sit and collect dust when she became the diplomat and cultural representative that the Royal Family required. If she agreed, that was.

Mary was called forth again, as solemn the second time as she had been the first. Alice Elizabeth Matthews was next, the petite Hufflepuff nearly bouncing as she approached the Headmaster. Fabian Alphaeus Prewett followed her, and then Severus Tobias Snape. James had to resist the urge to hiss audibly as his nemesis stepped forward to receive his degree, but he reminded himself that no matter how much he despised the greasy bastard, Lily would not tolerate any hijinks from him. But it was a good thing that his wand was in his trunk anyway. Emma Grace Vanity was the last to step forward from the Healing course, ending what felt like a very long slew of students after the brevity of the previous two groups.

They were halfway through, and James could feel all kinds of emotions bubbling inside of him. He was excited for his turn to come, and nervous about what it would mean. He was bored by the ceremonial nature of all of this and impatient to get through it all, and yet he felt a thrill and a surge of pride every time one of his friends was officially declared a graduate.

“Dignissima domina, Archididascalum et tota Academia praesento vobis haec viros quam scio tam moribus quam doctrina esse idoneum ad gradum assequendum Jurisdictio; idque tibi fide mea praesto totique Academiae,” Professor McGonagall recited.

James stood along with the rest of the students in his course. He vaguely wondered if he was shaking from all the nervous energy coursing through his veins.

“I formally request that the following men and women be awarded a degree in Law.”

And so it began.

“Amelia Margaret Edith Bones,” Professor McGonagall called, once the entire group had vacated their seats and stepped into the aisle along the outer wall.

And then, in no time at all, there were no students standing in front of him.

“James Eideard Aneirin, Prince of Scotland,” Professor McGonagall called out in her commanding voice.

The Great Hall suddenly felt so silent that a pin could drop and simultaneously buzzing with shocked whispers. He felt paralyzed, unable to move forward, or move anywhere, move any part of his body at all. I told you so! he heard someone exclaim, and he felt his heart pound in his chest, beating against his ribcage like a captive phoenix trying to break free. Somewhere in his mind, James could hear the photographer hired for the graduation go crazy, the shutter clicking at warp speed. She probably saw what an opportunity she had - she would be the only photographer anywhere to have pictures of the Prince’s graduation. James felt his breathing quicken, sucking in shallow breaths, and he wondered if he was having a panic attack. It had happened in the blink of an eye, his whole world had shifted, and he felt like he had lost his footing. How was he not more prepared for this?

James’ eyes found Lily, sitting amongst the other Gryffindor students, and he tried to block out everything else, everything but her. Her green eyes focused on him, and she gave him an encouraging smile. It was all he needed. James stepped forward, walking across the empty space to the foot of the dais, where the Headmaster waited with a small smile. James knelt before him, extending his hands in a praying formation, and Dumbledore wrapped his own hands around them. James maintained eye contact, staring back into Professor Dumbledore’s icy blue gaze as he recited the words that were meant to change his life.

“Auctoritate mihi commissa admitto te ad gradum Curatio, in nomine Ministerium, Hogwarts, et Godric Gryffindor.”

Dumbledore gave him a small nod, and James stood, returning to his seat with his head held high. He had done it, finished school, earned his degree. There had been days that he doubted that he would make it, when his grades suffered from either his own shenanigans or forced absences due to his duties that set him behind. But he had the words resounding in his mind, combined with Professor Dumbledore’s proud expression, to remind him of his accomplishment.

He failed to pay attention to the rest of the students in his course, entirely in his own world as Emmeline Laurel Vance, Adrian Lee Wells, and Corban Aleris Fenton Yaxley were called forward to receive their degrees. It didn’t bother him too much though, he wasn’t particularly close to any of them. He liked Adrian and Emmeline well enough, and he was jealous that they would both be enrolling in the Auror training program. But the idea of Corban Yaxley getting a degree in Law , when he was hell-bent on seeing Voldemort take control of the entire wizarding world… it would be laughable if it weren’t so disgusting.

“Dignissima domina, Archididascalum et tota Academia praesento…”

The words sounded like a far off echo to James, and he had little interest in forcing his mind to return to the ceremony. The world of his thoughts was far more interesting.

“I formally request that the following men and women be awarded a degree in Governance.”

Those words finally brought James back to attention, his focus drifting slowly back to the events around him as he recognized that two of his friends were about to step forward. He waited impatiently as Reginald Alexander Cattermole and Mafalda Arias Hopkirk stepped forward first. Then Professor McGonagall called Dorcas Diane Meadowes forward and James straightened up a little bit to watch more closely. He could practically hear Lily grinning from ear to ear, and he knew she was applauding a little more enthusiastically as Dorcas returned to her seat, newly declared a graduate. Caius Lycaon Tryphonus Nott was next, and James had to try very hard not to heckle him as he received his degree.

“Peter Ian Pettigrew,” Professor McGonagall, and James felt like bursting with excitement. Of all his friends, Peter seemed to understand his academic reservations the most. Remus had always been scholarly, and very gifted, and he enjoyed studying and schoolwork more than anyone James had ever met before. Sirius was the opposite, lazy and laidback when it game to academics, and yet he was so naturally gifted that he didn’t need to put in any work to do respectably well. James and Peter had struggled a bit more, finding a kinship in their trials and tribulations.

“Auctoritate mihi commissa admitto te ad gradum Magisterium,” Professor Dumbledore announced, a particularly pleased smile on his face, “in nomine Ministerium, Hogwarts, et Godric Gryffindor.”

Peter stood, pride emanating from him like a radiant glow, and James led the entire crowd in a round of applause that would have made anyone think Peter had just been elected to be the Minister.

“Dignissima domina, Archididascalum et tota Academia,” Professor McGonagall began again, announcing the final course, “praesento vobis haec viros quam scio tam moribus quam doctrina esse idoneum ad gradum assequendum Praesidium; idque tibi fide mea praesto totique Academiae. I formally request that the following men and women be awarded a degree in Defense.”

The largest block of students stood, a group that radiated pride and determination. Every one of these students knew they were about to head into a war, not all of them on the same side, and they stood like soldiers ready for battle.

Bertram Conrad Aubrey was the first to step forward. Large, with thick, banded muscles, Bertram looked every bit a soldier, and he seemed imbued with a certainty that James wished he possessed.

“Sirius Orion Phinneas Black,” Professor McGonagall called, and James struggled to keep from wolf whistling. He was proud of Sirius too, he was proud of all his friends.

After having his degree conferred, Sirius turned back toward the waiting guests and flashed the most self-assured and charming smile that had ever been seen. It was no wonder half the girls in Hogwarts were in love with him. For good measure, he looked toward Marlene where she was waiting her turn and gave her a salacious wink that was not missed by anybody.

Antonin Aleksi Dolohov was next, and once more James had to suppress the hiss that rose inside him. It was well known that Dolohov had only gone with the Defense course because he felt that knowing all about defense made for the best offense.

Frank Christopher James Longbottom was called forward next, redeeming the program a bit. Frank was everything Dolohov was not. A pinnacle of light and goodness and honor. He came from an old family, not quite in the highest social class, but still James had known Frank since they were young. It made him happy to see Frank defending the people, he was real hero caliber.

After Frank, Professor McGonagall called forward Marlene Pilar McKinnon, and this time James could tell Lily was straining not to whoop with joy. The only word that James could ever think to describe Marlene was bad-ass, and graduation was no exception. She had brought her own flair to the dress code with black heels that were studded with tiny silver spikes and a set matching spiked earrings. Confidence wafted from her in waves as she strode up to the dais and knelt to receive her degree. When the conferral had been completed, she strutted back to her seat with purpose, ponytail swinging as she flashed Sirius a sinful smile.

Gideon Matteus Prewett was announced next, another credit to the program and to Gryffindor, and James looked forward to seeing the leader he was sure to become. Evan Mark Rosier stepped forward next, another Dolohov, and James rolled his eyes. The ceremony finished with Clara Jane Williams, who was a relatively positive note to end on. She gave Remus as shy smile as she returned to her seat, and James wondered - not for the first time - if there was more between them than they let on.

“It gives me great pleasure to present to all the family and friends here today the newest graduates of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!” Professor Dumbledore declared, and shouts of joy erupted from students and guests alike. “Please join us for a reception out on the grounds of the castle before your departure. And may I offer a friendly reminder that the Hogwarts Express will depart from Hogsmeade Station promptly at 6pm for all those who wish to take it. Otherwise, allow me to remind you that apparition, Floo powder, and departure by broomstick are all prohibited until you are off castle grounds. Thank you very much, and congratulations to all of our graduates and their supporters!”

The graduates filed out of the Great Hall first, not in any kind of procession, but more of a semi-organized press of people. As each of them walked through the ornate doors of the castle to the sloping lawn, a curled diploma appeared in their hands, tied with a ribbon in the colour of their course and bound with the wax seal of their house. James stared at his in amazement as Sirius and Peter chattered excitedly, enjoying the tangible evidence of his accomplishment. Lily slipped her hand into James’, startling him slightly, but he smiled when he saw her standing next to him.

“Congratulations, Miss Evans,” Queen Euphemia said, approaching the young couple. “We’re very proud of both of you.”

“Thanks, Mum,” James beamed, exchanging gleeful looks with Lily.

“I suppose you’ve made your choice then?” the Queen said to Lily, while King Fleamont gave them a curious look, completely oblivious to the conversation that had happened months earlier.

“Yeah, I have,” Lily answered, snuggling closer to James and looking up at him with such adoration.

If James and Lily heard the sound of snapping camera shutters following through the reception, they showed no sign of it. They were far too engrossed in the joy and excitement of the day. Not to mention, it was their very last day all together with their friends. Before long, they would be moving in different directions, pursuing a variety of careers and initiatives in all different places. They were all acutely aware that there was no guarantee that they would all be together like this again any time soon.

After the reception, students and families began to say their goodbyes, departing for the Hogwarts Express. James and Lily stayed the longest with their families, enjoying the relative privacy as twilight fell on the castle. It was less awkward having their families together here, in this somewhat neutral setting. Even though they were still decked out in their finery, they seemed less imposing away from the ornate halls of Whitefire Palace. And perhaps things always got easier between families as time progressed. Whatever the reason, Lily and James were both pleased to see their families melding together so well.

o . o . o

Lily was sharing a shitty flat in London with Mary, Alice, and Fabian. They were all starting the training course at St. Mungo’s, which only paid a very small stipend, and sharing a small apartment had been the only thing they could do. Lily knew that doing the course was a bit pointless, since she’d have to give it up when she married James, but she couldn’t very well just sit around and wait for a proposal.

They had a week to set up their flat and celebrate their graduation before they had to start their course. Lily took the first three days to visit with her family. She had missed them so much, realized, and she wished she could’ve gotten the whole summer to spend with them. But at least London was much closer to home, and she could apparate there in a pinch if she wanted to.

Her parents surprised her by announcing that they were getting a new couch for the sitting room, and gifting her the old one for her apartment. James insisted on getting her a proper bed (“Hey, I’ve got to sleep on this thing too!”) despite her protestations. Alice’s parents were a bit more upper class, and she was an only child, she they’d been happy to get a few things for them - mostly kitchenware, but a dining table and a little tv as well. Everything else they’d gotten second-hand as cheap as they could find, with the result being that their apartment looked like the most hideously mismatched collection of 50s decor imaginable. But it was home, at least none of them cared if some butterbeer spilled on the sofa.

Sirius came over for dinner one evening, and by the end of the night, he and Mary had gone their separate ways, just as she’d predicted. Mary didn’t seem all that cut up about it, and Lily wondered if it didn’t have something to do with Fabian. He’d become very snuggly with her, always seeking contact with his toes or his shoulder or his forehead whenever they sat down to watch the little tv. Not to mention he’d developed a habit of “forgetting” his clothes in his bedroom whenever he took a shower. Lily privately thought that it wouldn’t be too long before those two were sharing one room.

James was living in the Palace, his schedule jam packed with events and outings and meetings. He wanted the Royal Family to be more active, and to play a bigger part in the governing of the country, the way it had centuries before. People responded well to him, and he was a natural at all of it. Sometimes Lily thought it was a shame that he couldn’t get involved in politics, because he was a great diplomat. Most weekends, he stayed with her in the little flat, as long as he didn’t have an event in the morning, but occasionally she went to the Palace. The almost never went out though, since that inevitably ended up with them being photographed.

All in all, life after graduation seemed pretty good. They were all busy, and Lily felt exhausted all the time, but it was in a good way, and she felt as though she’d accomplished something at the end of every day. And yet there was a constant feeling that just as they began to settle into this new life, everything would change.

[i-writing-is-hard-i]

Healing Hands (Remus) pt2

Healing Hands (Remus)  pt2

Young Remus Lupin:

Marauders Era:

[Disclaimer]  Mentions of blood and wounds.  

(Part 1)  (Part 2)   (Part 3)

~six months later~

You swear you had just fallen asleep when you felt someone nudge you away.  You had expected to see either one of the girls so when you saw Sirius, standing over you, you freaked out, the only reason you didn’t yell at him was that Sirius had placed his hand over your mouth. 

 “Remus needs your help” you whispered.  Your heart hit your chest, as you remembered seeing him that night around 6 months ago, it such discomfort.  Without giving it a second thought you jumped up out of bed, threw you shoes on heading towards the door.

“Wait, you will need this” Sirius handed you, your hooded jacket, you gave him a questioning look but took it anyway and followed him out. Just before he walked out of the portrait hole he pulled out a piece of parchment.  You peered over his shoulder, it was a map.  Sirius saw you staring at it with a hint of confusion on your face, and winked.

“Tell you later, it’s all clear, come one” Thanks to mapping you two made outside.  Sirius stopped at the weeping willow.“Sirius?” you questioned.  He cast a spell on the dangerous tree, stopping it from attacking.

“Quick, we don’t have much time” he ordered running to a hole at the base of the tree.  He turned to you making sure you were there before climbing in.  with a deep breath, you followed him in.  Freaking out the whole time, as you made your way down the dark, dirty tunnel, it seemed to go on forever before finally emerging into a basement, of a creaky old house. 

“Is this the shrieking shack?” you asked, taking a look around at the dusty room“ Sirius, where the hell did you.......” James asked, with a hint of anger, stopping when he saw you

.“The hell, Sirius, he’s conscious this time” James lowered his tone.

 “Y/N is a much better healer, then we are, and in his condition, we can’t move him to get him to Madame Pomfrey” Sirius explained.  

“I know that, but you could have warned me, then I could have warned him” James complained.

“Well, go warn him now” After another five minutes of back and forth, arguing, James finally went upstairs.  He was away no more than four minutes before you heard Remus yelling ‘What’ followed by a loud groan of pain.  You glanced up at Sirius, who wore an indifferent expression.

“Yeah, he doesn’t like people knowing, but he can trust you, we all do” he explained. You felt touched.  It seemed to take forever before James and Peter joined you in the basement.  

“Uh, yeah, could you help him, he’s up in the main bedroom” James sighed. You ran upstairs, finding Remus laying on the king sized bed, with his leg bandaged up haphazardly.

“Remus” you ran over to him, pulling out your wand.

“Y/N what, uh, what did they tell you?” Remus stopped you.  You could see the worry and fear in his eyes.

“Nothing, just that you were hurt again” whoops you slipped up, he wasn’t supposed to know about the first time you healed him, you hope he didn’t notice.

“Again?”...he did 

“Uh, well” you didn’t know what to say, so you looked away, casting your spell to heal his leg.

“It wasn’t a dream” you heard him mumbled, After a while of silence, you glanced up at him, to see if he was okay.  Remus looked like there was a war going on his mind, as he stared at the grand piano.

“You’re not going to ask?” he suddenly asked, not looking at you.

“I figured if you wanted to know, you would have said by now” you smiled returning your attention back to his leg. Luckily his wound wasn’t as bad as last time, so it took less time to heal, at least so he could move.  You stood up, slightly tired, but nothing like before.

“All, done, you should be able to walk with help” you stated, you held out your hand, to help, but Remus tried to stand on his own, losing his balance and hurting himself.  You weren’t very strong physically, but you managed to catch him and hold keep both you up

.“Like I said help” you pointed out calmly. He looked sideways at you.“Thank you” you mumbled, you showed him your best smile in return.  You managed to help him down to the basement, where the others still sat waiting, with tense expressions, on their faces.

“Y/N, you are a genius” James jumped upYou couldn’t see Remus’ face but from the expression of the other three, you guessed it was an angry expression.  

“Uh, yeah, here let me take over” James replaced you.  The five of you made your way back to the Gryffindor Tower.  At the bottom you the stairs, you said your goodbyes and went your separate ways.  You couldn’t help but lay awake thinking.  Though you were curious about Remus, you never really thought about how he got injured, but it was obviously not the first time, the scars told you that much, you didn’t want to think about it, it wasn’t any of business but now you couldn’t help it.  A few ideas ran through your head.  All seemed so ridiculous, Glancing out the window, gave you another idea.  Werewolf.  Out of all your ideas that seemed to most logical.  It would explain a lot of things.  For most people, Remus being a werewolf would terrify them, but all it did was make you have more respect for it, it surely couldn’t be easy for him, dealing with the transition every month, having to hide it.  At least he has James, Peter, and Sirius.  They were truly good friends, sad to say but other people may not be so understanding.  You respected them all the more for it.  You weren’t sure when you had fallen asleep but when you opened your eyes all you could see was light.  You hadn’t closed the curtains of your bed.  Lily and Marlene were siring as well.  Suddenly Lily jumped up out of bed, ‘She does know it’s the weekend?’ you thought.  All you wanted to do was go back to sleep, but you also wanted to cheek on Remus.  After getting dressed, Lily and you made your way to breakfast, leaving Marlene contently snuggled in bed.  Lily kept questioning you as to why you were up so early.  Normally you would still be happily sleeping in until lunch.  You obviously couldn’t tell her the truth, that you hoped to see one of the Marauders down at breakfast. ‘Don’t know’ was the best answer you could come up with. During Breakfast, you kept glancing up at the door, hoping at least one of them would come in.  lily hadn’t noticed your attention wasn’t really on her food, as her nose was pressed into a book.  It wasn’t until near the end of breakfast when James, Sirius, and Peter came in.  they took a seat beside you.  James turned his attention to Lily like nothing happened last night.

“His legs fine, we are just back from Madame Pomfrey, she said he will be back on his feet tomorrow, and that your healing skills are impressive, he’s back in the door, you know so as to not draw attention” Sirius leaned over whispering in your ear.“Though he is still freaking out, about what you think.  Apparently, you have a great poker face, whatever that means” he continued smirking.

“I do?” you had always thought you had a pretty expressive face.  Sirius shrugged filling his plate up with food and shoveling it into his mouth like he hadn’t eaten in a week, in fact, all the boys were. You watched Sirius, make up an extra plate for Remus, instead of bringing it up himself, he handed it to you.

“Maybe, you should talk to him” he suggested, James was nodding behind him in agreement.  You weren’t sure whether he would actually want to see you, but you took the plate from him, said goodbye to Lily and headed out.  You could hear Lily asking what that was all about, hopefully, they come up with a good excuse and warn you first, otherwise, when Lily asks you later you won’t come up something, you were not that inventive. When you had reached their dorm room door, you froze, out of nerves.  Finally, though you knocked, you were after all standing in the boy's dorm.  You heard a soft ‘come in’ obeying you opened the door.  Remus was laying in his bed looking exhausted.

“Remus, I brought breakfast” as soon as you spoke, Remus shot up so quickly that he swayed a bit from dizziness.

“Y/N, what, uh, what are you, I mean why are you here?” he stuttered, it was actually quite cute.  You smiled holding out the full plate of food, showing him

“Oh, thank you” the room fell silent.  You placed the food on, his bedside table.  You decided to leave him, this was something he had to be comfortable with.  And he would tell you when he was ready. 

“Wait” he called to you when you had reached the door.  Turning to him, he looked so conflicted.

“Remus?” 

“They, really not tell you anything?” he asked, still not looking at you.  It was actually made you sad to see him like this.  He seemed scared.

“Nope” you replied, walking over to his bed sitting beside him, 

“Do you want me to know?”He didn’t say anything, and for a while there was silence, but you waited patiently, he was either going to tell you the truth or tell you to leave.  More time passed before he lifted his head.

“I, I am a werewolf” he watched you closely expecting you to run, freak out anything, he did not expect you to be smiling?.  The reason behind your smile was because he told you, the fact he trusted you, it made you happy.  Also, you had guessed right.

“Y/N did you hear me?, I’m a monster” 

“Monster?” your tone was light and cheery.

“Yes” Remus seemed to be annoyed, he felt like you weren’t taking him seriously. 

“Remus Lupin and monster do not go in the same sentence” you smiled warmly.  Remus didn’t seem to understand, what you meant.

“The Remus Lupin, who is teacher’s pet, pranks people with friends, who helps me with my homework, who is patient, enough to help me with my school work, and put up with James and Sirius, is no monster” you clarified. Remus looked like he was going to cry, at best he thought you would stop talking to him, but here you are, completely fine with it.  

“Remus, I don’t care, you are, you are one of my best friends, nothing’s going to change that” you smiled. You almost confessed to him, you had wanted to be more than friends for a long time.  Remus finally met your eyes,  he was still unsure but he seemed to relax before your eyes.  He didn’t know what to say, should he thank you?. “Well, eat, you needed it, I’ll call up to see you later?” you weren’t sure if he would want you to come back later.  Regretting it as soon as you said it. “Yeah, okay” Remus needed time to think.  He didn’t want the boys to know, but the thought of you knowing it seemed worse to him, but here you were being so excepting? he didn’t know what to do.  You left him to his food, getting to work on some studying.  

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Teenagers Part 2

Harry Potter Marauders Era 

Link to Part 1 

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader 

Rating: M

______

Getting out of potions didn’t come fast enough! As soon as the bell rang, Regulus was on his feet and out of the room. You let out a sigh and sat back in your chair.

I can’t believe that I told him that I wasn’t dating his brother…

You thought miserably before standing up and picking up your bag. The clear embarrassment of your action was finally hitting home. Instead of asking Regulus how his day was or some other nice comment you instead told him that you weren't dating his brother. Putting your hand over your face, you big Slughorn a good day. Why would Regulus care if you were dating Sirius or not? It wasn’t like he liked you or anything. Just because he was looking at you didn’t mean that he liked you.

I’m an idiot.

Walking into the Gryffindor common room, you were thankful to see Remus sitting by himself. There was no sign of James nor Sirius and you were thankful. You needed to whine to Remus and he of all people would be sympathetic.

“Remus.”

You whined his name before sitting down and smashing your face into his upper arm.

“Bad day?”

Remus questioned. You nodded and decided to bury yourself in his robes.

“It must have been a bad day. You haven’t done this in a long time.”

You groaned.

“I am never coming out again. I can’t show my face in the great hall or any class that Regulus Black is in ever again.”

Remus chuckled. While he was surprised to hear Regulus’ name come out of your mouth, he wasn’t about to give you a hard time like your brother would.

“Now, Y/n, you will have to come out from under my robes. I can’t go to class with you attached to me like a baby koala. People will ask questions.”

You whined again.

“Come on, Remus. It was a horribly embarrassing moment that I don’t think that I will ever live down. Just tell Sirius that I have taken up residence with you and he will have to get used to it or keep his shirt on.”

Remus patted your back.

“Now you know that Sirius isn’t the most patient of people and it will be hard to talk to Regulus if you’re attached to me. I don’t think he will be too interested if you are with me.”

“It doesn’t matter. I can never talk to him again.”

Remus looked up as Marlene and Lily walked in. Both girls stopped at the sight of you hiding inside of Remus’ robes. Remus gave them a small shrug.

“She’s had a super dinosaur-sized embarrassing moment that involves Regulus and won't come out.

“Oh god, Remus who are you talking to?”

You asked. Marlene gave Lily a smirk before both girls came to sit on the couch.

“Just Marlene and I.”

Lily softly replied before gently reaching out and pulling you away from Remus.

“Y/n, we know that you want to use Remus as a security blanket but you know that Sirius won’t be too happy with that.”

You sighed.

“It's horrible. I made the biggest fool out of myself. Regulus probably thinks that I’m an idiot. It's no wonder that he ran out of that class so fast.”

Marlene gave you a confused expression.

“Sweetie, what happened? You’re killing us.”

You stood up and ran a hand through your hair.

“He’s my partner in potions. We were talking and he asked if I was friends with Sirius. Do you want to know what my comment was? Instead of saying yes like a normal person I automatically said we aren’t dating. Like who does that?”

Lily gave you her warm motherly smile.

“What did he say?”

You groaned.

“His exact words were...I wasn’t asking. He also called me sassy.”

Remus’ comforting smile took over his face.

“Regulus doesn’t know half of that.”

Remus was pleased when you finally smiled. You took a breath before sitting back down in between Remus and Lily as Marlene took her turn to laugh.

“That really isn’t that bad, Y/n. You didn’t scream at him or step on his feet or anything...I understand your embarrassment but it's going to be okay. You kind of have to throw that disclaimer about Sirius and yourself out there. If people didn’t know the two of you better they would think that the both of you were a couple.”

“The same could be said about us too.”

Remus added. You dramatically groaned again.

“I should just date you and Sirius...it would be easier.”

“What would be easier?”

The conversation instantly stopped when James and Sirius stepped into the room. James looked between Remus and yourself.

“So back to my question...what would be easier?”

“Bashing my face into the floor.”

You commented. James grinned before wiggling his way between Lily and yourself.

“Having a bad day, sissy?”

You nodded and laid your head on his shoulder.

“Just made a fool out of myself...nothing new.”

James laughed.

“In front of who.”

Your mouth immediately dropped remembering just whom you were speaking to. James would have a cow if he knew that you were crushing on the one boy that James seemed to despise more than Severus Snape.

“Does it really matter? I’m just going to be a cat lady.”

Sirius started laughing at that one.

“I don’t get along with cats, love.”

You looked up.

“I will just live in the basement of the home that you purchase with Remus.”

Sirius chuckled before kneeling down in front of you.

“Come on now, you are a very pretty girl, Y/n. There are a lot of boys out there that would love to date you.”

“I can name one!”

Dorcas added. James’ eyes were on Dorcas at that one.

“Who? Who is he? I need to know.”

Dorcas grinned, ignoring how you were silently pleading with her to stop.

“Regulus.”

Both James and Sirius’ mouths dropped.

“Like my brother? He doesn’t like anyone but himself.”

James jumped up and shook his head. It would be a cold day in hell before he was okay with you dating Regulus. The kid was a punk...a snarky sarcastic little punk that cared way too much about his headful of curly hair.

“I’ll light him on fire before that happens. There are a lot of other girls out there. Regulus can go find another dude’s sister...not mine.”

Sirius too was laughing.

“Prongs, you really don’t have to worry about that. 1st off, Regulus doesn’t know how to talk to a woman. 2nd, no woman would put up with my mother as a mother-in-law. I prefer to call her a monster-in-law. 3rd, Regulus would just scare Y/n off with his less than sunny disposition.”

James grinned.

“I don’t think that the boy knows how to smile.”

You leaned back further against the couch forcing yourself to be quiet. As much as you wanted to defend Regulus, you knew that it would be a bad idea.

“He did smile at me today.”

Both James and Sirius turned to look at you like an overprotective mother hen.

“Why was he smiling at you?”

James snapped.

“Well, he is my potions partner.”

You commented while mentally smacking yourself for even providing that information. Sirius tilted his head to the side.

“What were the two of you talking about?”

“Potions stuff. I answered a question that he didn’t think that I would know...it wasn’t anything major so before you two form an angry lynch mob just stop.”

James did as you asked but internally made a note to himself to keep an eye on you anytime that you were near Regulus Black.

“Okay, that is understandable.”

(meanwhile)

Regulus stormed into the Slytherin common room and tossed his potions book on the couch beside Evan.

“Bad day, star shine?”

Regulus scowled at his friend as Barty sat down clearly interested in whatever was bugging Regulus.

“Not bad...I just made a fool out of myself...I don’t think that I can go back to potions again.”

“And why is that?”

Evan questioned. Regulus sat down and started playing with the golden snitch that was in his pocket.

“Y/n Potter is in my class.”

“And?”

Barty questioned, reminding Regulus of a housewife that spied on their neighbors whenever there was the slightest bit of drama.

“She’s my potions partner for the semester. It was a disaster. First I asked her if she knew how to talk then I called her sassy.”

A smile was already playing on Evan's lips. Regulus knew that he was about to be torn apart by his friends.

Can I just die already?

Regulus muttered before grabbing at the golden snitch again.

“She wasn’t mad. She didn’t even seem the least bit bothered by it. The girl actually responded with you don’t know the half of it. That just intrigued me more and my stupid ass self asked if she was friends with my brother. She immediately told me that she wasn’t dating him. It was awkward for both of us. She probably thinks that I’m a dick because I said I wasn’t asking instead of something...nicer. Ugh...she probably thinks that I am living up to my fucking reputation that I have to have with the Potters.”

Evan started laughing.

“Good one, Reg. Next time compliment her on her eyes or something.”

“Yeah, I wish that I did that this time.”

Regulus muttered as Barty hopped up.

“You should go talk to her now. What does she like?”

Regulus frowned.

“Hell if I know. There is another problem. It's something that we already discussed...her big-headed brother.”

Evan rolled his eyes.

“We can deal with Potter. He isn’t hovering over his sister all of the time anyway. The boy needs to go play quidditch or develop another hobby. The girl will never get a boyfriend with him scaring every guy away.”

“I’m not scared of him if that is what you are implying.”

Regulus added with a dark glare. Evan held a hand up.

“Did those words leave my mouth?”

Regulus quickly jumped up.

“I need to go clear my head. Later.”

Regulus’ mind was still a pretzel of emotions when dinner time came. He was mentally trying to sort out his feelings. On one hand, dating you wouldn’t be easy. His parents probably wouldn’t be happy. Granted, he could use the “she’s a pureblood” excuse but Walburga would probably accuse you of being a blood traitor. Regulus could also argue that he wanted to be with you and liked you. After Sirius left, Walburga’s scathing nature seemed to cool a bit, and whenever Regulus said that he wanted something he pretty much got it. Regulus was afraid that he would turn into one of those girl-crazy morons who lost themselves in their girlfriends. The last thing that he wanted to do was be tending to someone's every displeasure.

On the other hand, Regulus wouldn’t be so alone. With Evan dating a new girl every other week, the only company that Regulus had was Barty and that got old fast. It would also be nice to have someone to kiss and cuddle with. The physical parts of a relationship sounded nice too. Regulus played his part of “disinterested in love” so well but deep down he wanted to have a girl to love on. Evan made that part look “fun.”

Regulus glanced across the room to where you sat talking to Lily Evans and that god awful Dorcas Meadowes. Everything about you seemed perfect. Regulus sighed as he looked at your hands that were twirling your hair around your finger.

Those would fit perfectly with mine...and those lips…

Regulus sighed. Was he that pathetic that he was drooling over you from afar? It wasn’ that he hadn’t had the opportunity to find a lover. There were plenty of opportunities. He could count at least five girls that were desperate for his attention.

They aren’t Y/n.

(meanwhile)

“Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they would be bagels!”

You smirked at the joke that Dorcas had just told hoping to beat one that Sirius just told.

“That’s the best that you’ve got? You are the dad joke person. Mine are actually funny.”

Sirius questioned. Dorcas picked up a dinner roll and tossed it at Sirius’ face as you sat laughing quietly.

“I thought it was amusing.”

You said, politely. Dorcas grinned.

“See Sirius, at least someone here has manners.”

Sirius shrugged and went back to his conversation with James leaving the conversation. Dorcas sighed.

“So much for that. Are you feeling any better?”

You shrugged.

“I don’t know. I am still slightly embarrassed.”

Dorcas glanced at the Slytherin table where Regulus sat with his eyes locked on you. She gave Lily a wink as Lily too noticed the boy’s eyes. Grinning, Dorcas elbowed you in the side.

“Don’t look super quick but Regulus has been staring at you for a good few minutes.”

You quickly looked up and sure enough, Regulus’ gaze was right on you.

Oh Merlin, don’t do anything stupid….don’t make a fool out of yourself...just don’t...smile...smile like a normal human.

You took a breath before smiling. Regulus watched you for a moment longer before giving you a one-sided smile that slowly spread a little wider. It wasn’t a smile like his brother would give but perfect for Regulus. You didn’t foresee him being a big “I’m going to smile all of the time” person. He seemed much more serious than that...and you were fine with it. If you could put a smile on his face...just once...you have been happy.

The cute moment was ruined when Barty Crouch Jr hit Regulus' hand that was holding his drink knocking the liquid all over his lap. Regulus’ gaze was gone as he smacked Barty in the back of the head. You knew that you had lost him at that point, he was too busy fussing at Barty who had turned around to defend himself.

“Those two would be perfect for each other.”

Your head snapped up hearing James' voice.

“Who?”

James motioned to Regulus and Barty.

“Psycho and clueless over there.”

“That’s mean, James.”

You said with a displeased expression. James, in a very sassy manner, put his hand on his chest.

“Don’t tell me that you have come to care for him.”

You rolled your eyes.

“I never said that. You can just be mean.”

James brushed you off with a grin. He wasn’t sure what was going on in your head. If you thought for one moment that he would be okay with you crushing on Regulus Black then you had another thing coming.

“Calm down, I didn’t mean to insult your little boyfriend.”

“He isn't my boyfriend.”

You snapped, a little louder before picking up your book and smacking James shoulder with it before standing up. You didn’t realize that your comment was a little louder than you planned. Thankfully, most of the great hall had cleared out but Regulus and Evan were watching with matching grins.

Blushing, you quickly turned and walked from the great hall without another word.

The next morning, you sat in Potions waiting for Regulus to show up. You were absolutely a nervous wreck. For most of the morning, you had set up a mantra of,

“I will not make a fool out of myself. I will be sweet and charming...I’ll be my nice self...I won’t be weird….don't be weird.”

You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t feel Regulus sit down beside you.

“Just so you know, my friend Evan is in love with you.”

You looked up like a deer locked in a car’s headlights. Regulus was looking over at you with the same smile from the night before.

“Lord, why?”

Regulus chuckled.

“You whacked that cocky brother of yours with a book. We have been wanting to do that since 1st year.”

You nervously laughed.

“Well, I do it about once a week. Try living with him. Do me a favor and tell Evan, no. No offense but he’s a dick.”

Regulus chuckled. On the outside, he was playing cool but on the inside, he was jumping up and down with glee over the fact that you showed no interest in Evan.

“I’ve heard that a time or two.”

“He comes off as desperate and girls really don’t like that..at least I don’t.”

You commented. Regulus looked over his shoulder for Slughorn. He silently prayed the teacher wouldn't come back for some time.

“What do you like?”

Your face blushed at the question.

“Well, I suppose someone who can handle themselves without me needing to hold their hand every second of the day. A sensitive side too isn’t bad. As much as I love a good laugh...funny can’t happen all of the time. A girl wants some romance.”

Regulus nodded and thought with a smile…

I can do all of those things!

“Why do you ask?”

You choked out. Regulus shrugged.

“Just curious. Every girl seems to be different.”

“It's not like I will find anyone anyway.”

Regulus looked up at that comment.

“Why would you say something like that?”

You shrugged.

“Because that guy doesn’t exist apparently. “

You could feel Regulus’ dark eyes burning a hole right through you. He leaned back in his chair with a haughty smile that reminded you so much of his brother.

Ugh...Sirius is the last thing that I need to be thinking about right now.

You thought as Regulus finally spoke again.

“You would be surprised what you could find out there. I know that we really don’t know each other but Slughorn is having a party in a few weeks for Halloween...would you consider going with me?”

Regulus had no idea where this sudden surge of bravery came from. Internally he was panicking. What if you said no? He would have to sit beside for the rest of the semester in utter embarrassment. Of course, you were going to say no. Gryffindors didn’t date Slytherins. It just didn’t work that way…

“I’ll go with you. We may have to keep in on the down-low because of my brother...you know how he is.”

Regulus snorted.

“Like I’m really scared.”

How this conversation had gone from awkward to completely comfortable, you had no idea...but you were fine with it. Later you would probably be questioning everything but for now, you decided to go with your newfound bravery.

“I just don’t want him to give you a hard time.”

Regulus chuckled.

“Again, I’m not really concerned but if you want to keep things a little quiet for now...you know...until we figure out how we want things to go...I’m fine with that.”

“Deal.”

The following two weeks passed quickly. Unbeknownst to James and Sirius (and the rest of your friends for that matter), you had gone on two dates with Regulus. You had to congratulate yourself on James not picking up on anything. He was so busy with quidditch and getting ready for the season to start that he hadn’t noticed much of anything going on around him.

Quidditch had taken a good chunk of Regulus’ time. The two dates that you were able to have were to study together (without prying eyes) then the next one was a date on the astronomy tower. He was apologetic about not being able to give you more time but you understood. With keeping things simple there weren't a lot of expectations that either of you had to live up to. Most of the “talking” that the two of you did was through letters quietly passed in the hallways.

You were surprised at how much the two of you actually had in common. Regulus wasn’t near as cocky as Sirius. In fact, he seemed interested in most of the things that you were….the same books, songs, everything. You were thrilled that conversations between the two of you weren’t as awkward as they were the first day.

On the second date, you were convinced that Regulus was about to kiss you but he stopped. You couldn’t help but feel let down. It would have been your first kiss and damn it, you wanted it!

Calm down...it will come.

You thought over breakfast the morning of the Slytherin vs Gryffindor game. Looking over at the Slytherin table, Regulus sat in his green sweater laughing over something that Evan was saying.

Peter sitting down beside you pulled your attention away from Regulus. You reached down into your pocket for the envelope that needed to get to Regulus.

“Peter, can you do something for me?”

Peter looked up with a big smile. As much as you hated to admit it, you knew that the boy had a crush on you. You wanted to wretch at the thought. Peter had always seemed like a weakling that needed James and Sirius for protection. He definitely wasn’t a certain Slytherin who your eyes were trained on.

“Sure, what do you need, Y/n?”

You put the envelope in his hands.

“I need you to take this over to Regulus Black right now and don’t let my brother know about it. Don’t let him see you and do not tell him about it. Got it?”

Peter looked down at the envelope that had Regulus’ name written in your neat as a pin handwriting.

“Um okay. Sure.”

Peter stood up and carefully snuck his way through the groups of students. He didn’t know what was going on or what was in the envelope but it felt heavy. Why would you be sending Regulus Black something? Peter didn’t even know that the two of you were talking. The last time that he checked, James had put his foot down about Regulus.

Regulus and Evan automatically looked up when Peter came over.

“Hi, Regulus. I’m your own personal owl from over there. Y/n…”

Regulus raised an eyebrow.

“Just shut up and give me the letter, Pettigrew.”

Regulus snatched the letter out of Peter’s hand and told him to get lost. Like he was going to open whatever it was with the little rat standing in front of him. Regulus had no love lost for Peter Pettigew. Something about the boy just oozed dishonesty and Regulus wanted no part of that.

“What is it?”

Evan finally questioned. Regulus shrugged as he tore the envelope open to find no letter. Frowning, he titled it over until a locket fell out in his hand. Turning it over your initials were engraved on the front of the piece of jewelry. Regulus looked up at you with a sly smile before putting the locket on and tucking it under his sweater.

Regulus noticed Evan with a smile on his face.

“Like hell, you two have nothing going on. She sends you a locket that she always wears with her initials on it. That girl just claimed you as her property.”

Regulus couldn’t help but smile. He knew if James figured out what you did, he would be running as Regulus screaming like a maniac...but Regulus didn’t care. He didn't care what anyone had to say at the moment.

“And I am just fine with that.”

He commented before standing up. Regulus felt better about himself today than he had in a long time.

“I have a certain Gryffindor quidditch player to humiliate.”

_____

@amelie-black

@truly-insatiable

@fandomsxxregulus

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@marichromatic

@maggioli-m

[shadowsndaisies]

HW18D4 - Sweets

HW18D4 → Candy/Sweets

Fandom: Harry Potter → Marauders Era

Pairing: Sirius Black

WC: 2824

2k18 Holiday Masterlist                            normal masterlist

As soon as the month of October began your mood had noticeably deflated, and as the month progresses the more flat you became. At first, no one could figure it out, Sirius had been the first to notice, then Lily and then all the others. Lily, however, was the first one to figure out why she had caught you while responding to a letter from your older brother and younger sister.

They were still in America, your mother had gone to Hogwarts while growing up, she married your father, a muggle when she later moved to America. When they found out you were a witch she had wanted to send you to Hogwarts though your father resisted at first since Hogwarts was significantly far from the state of California in the United States. It took three years before your mother was able to wear your father down, and so as a 4th year you had been accepted in as a Gryffindor, just like your mother. Now you were a 5th year and you had become friends with people you believed to be some of the best in the world.

The letter had been a detailed recount of how Jackson, your brother who was a year out of school, had taken Maria, your sister who would be a 1st year, Halloween costume shopping. Halloween at Ilvermorny was something unforgettable, decorations everywhere, pumpkins carving contests and the teacher always gave out the best sweets on October 31st, but your favorite part would be the evening, when the school would gather after a shortened day of classes to have a feast, everyone dressed in a costume and mingling, despite their house. Obviously, things were different at Hogwarts, Halloween wasn’t as big a deal here, as it was an American holiday, normally you’d be okay with that, except, you’re American and this was your favorite holiday.

OCTOBER 6TH

“Darling, are you feeling okay? You’ve been a bit quieter this week?” Sirius had asked only six days into the month that you usually loved.

“Yeah, I’m fine, just a bit under the weather,” you had lied so simply, believing you’d be okay after giving yourself maybe a week or so to mope about.

Last year you had been so busy with readjusting that Halloween had come and gone and you only realized it the week off, leaving no time to really miss the festivities.

“Are you sure? We can skip class and head to Madam Pomfrey if you need..” he offered unsurely.

His unruly raven locks moved with his head as he turned a bit further to face you completely, they always looked so soft.

“Positive,” you smiled softly, though he could see it, your eyes were missing their normal glint.

“Just tell me, love. Whatever you need, whenever,” he promised, looking back to the fire that was raging before them as they sat on a sofa in the common room.

He was looking away and so he missed it, the small look of adoration that flashed before her eyes, she may be sad but she had him, and she was glad for that.

OCTOBER 18TH

“Love, you seem awfully aloof lately,” Sirius had mentioned to you one day after potions, Lily was with Remus doing their duties as prefects, James had a Quidditch practice and Peter had gone to watch.

“No idea what you mean, Black,” you had shot back with what you had hoped was your normal level of sass.

Honestly, you knew what he meant, you were quieter in conversations, often imagining the common room decked out for the end of the month, you imagined cobwebs on the big banister in the main hall and all along the railing of the ever moving staircase. You could almost picture the costumes your friends would choose, each of them having something very fitting. Lily would probably dress up as some brilliant Witch from the past, James a Quidditch player, Remus probably would hesitate to participate but with some sway from you imagined to be Sirius would dress up as a werewolf, of course, nobody would understand the full meaning. Peter would choose something a bit subtle that allows him to blend in and would ask for your help. Alas, being who you are, you’d help the mousy boy into a pair of light wash denim jeans and a red and white striped hat, give him a pair of James’ glasses and then a beanie turning him into the “Where’s Waldo” bloke. Sirius would choose something charming, or at least he’d try to and then you could almost imagine how it’d go down, the two of you dressing up as something together because you wanted something from some muggle movie and he’d want to be a part of it, that was, after all, who Sirius Black was.

“Bullshit,” Sirius had shot back at your weak attempt to dismiss his worries, “you’ve been weird for weeks now, love.”

“I’m okay, Sirius, really, I’m serious,” you had used the term knowing it would gain an eye roll and grumble that would successfully distract him from the conversation, he was so very much like a puppy sometimes.

“That isn’t funny, it never is,” he would add after as you walked together down the corridor.

You grabbed his hand swinging it over your shoulder the way it normally was when the two of you were stuck together, “I beg to differ,” you add with your head tilted upwards a small smile of accomplishment spread on your lips.

“I bet you would,” he grumbled, causing you to chuckle, though he wasn’t mad, he never could be, not with her.

OCTOBER 23RD

“What’s going on with you?” Lily shot as soon as you had entered your shared dormitory, the rest of the girls seemed to be missing, “is it Sirius? Did he do something? I’m going to kick his arse…”

“Hello to you too, Lily,” you rolled your eyes. “And no, you will not harm hair on his pretty head.”

“No pleasantries then, out with it! you’ve been keeping something from me, from all of us. You never pay attention when we talk, your mind always somewhere else!” Lily argued and you sighed.

You knew she was trying to be a good friend but this was getting to your nerves, it’s not like she knew how you felt, or that she could relate. You were the only American transfer in the school, no one had ever celebrated Halloween the way you did, and so no one could understand what you were missing. You knew your mother and father would be throwing their annual Halloween celebrations, there were always two, one for the muggles and one for the witches, both were entertaining and both held the promise to feed your sweet tooth.

“Just forget about it, Evans, it’s not important,” you huffed and she faltered, your voice had been a lot tougher than you had meant it to be.

Before she could get another word in you closed your bed drapes and lay there, staring at the red drapes.

OCTOBER 27TH

After a long chat with professor Slughorn over some issues with the most recent potion in class, a result of your daydreams, you had returned to your dorm and were extremely surprised to see Lily on your bed, a letter you had received from your sibling in her hands.

“That is not yours,” your voice had been cold as you addressed her and you remember the way she jumped in fright from being caught.

“I know, and I know how improper it is to snoop, but you’ve been miserable lately and well, it was laying there, open. On your bed clear as day for anyone to look at!” She attempted to defend herself.

You had to bite your tongue at this, you had rushed out of your dorm this morning as you had slept in a bit later than normal, the letter which you had spent the night reading and re-reading had been left a top your bed after the house elves came and made the sheets. Instead of shouting at Lily about personal belongings like you wanted to you sighed, those words that had bubbled were mean for the wrong reasons.

“I just...I miss them, Lily. I miss spending this time of the year with them. Jackson graduated last year and so he didn’t transfer with me and Maria hasn’t shown signs of magic yet, and so I’m alone. I’m across the Atlantic ocean from the people I love, and I can’t celebrate my favorite time of the year because all you stupid brits don’t look at Halloween the way we daft Americans do,” you had grumbled as you slumped onto the edge of your bed, head dropping to your hands.

“Oh, darling,” Lily’s voice was soft as she moved to rub one hand on your back. “You should’ve just told us, we would’ve done anything to help.”

“I know, it’s just what can you do?” You asked, and yoru voice cracked. “I live most of the year in another country, away from my siblings and parents now…” you exhaled before sniffing and wiping your eyes, “and I have to learn to live with it,” You straightened.

OCTOBER 30TH

“So everything’s in place then, yeah?” Sirius asked Lily, the two were in the common room, curfew had passed an hour ago and so the room was empty, the two had been hard at work.

After (Y/n)’s confession to Lily, Lily had decided to do whatever she could and so, while costumes wouldn’t be ready that didn’t mean the common room couldn’t become slightly spooky. Lily had enlisted Sirius’ help as she could see the way he had been carefully watching and analyzing (y/n)’s every move, looking for some sort of sign. When Lily had explained it to Sirius he had a determined look. And so the pair of friends found themselves string cobwebs around the Gryffindor common room and quickly carving pumpkins with the help of their wands. A few more hexed items set around the room and it looked almost like the muggle depictions of witchcraft and wizardry.

“Yeah,” Lily nodded looking around once more. “I reckon we did a swell job, Sirius. She’s really gonna love it,” she added as an afterthought.

Sirius looked at the animated cat skeleton which had been charmed to slink around the room, “I do too, goodnight, Red.”

“She’s lucky to have you,” Lily smiled softly at her friend.

“It’s the other way around, Evans, I’m lucky to be her friend,” Sirius shook his head.

“I didn’t mean as friends,” Lily gave his shoulder a squeeze before walking back up to her dorm.

OCTOBER 31ST

You were miserable as soon as your eyes opened, and as you got up for the day you found it odd that once you pulled your drapes back, the dorm was empty, usually, the other girls would be going about their routines to get ready. This only fed your sense of dread because as much as you missed home, you really didn’t want to be alone. It was seven in the morning when you grabbed your book bag and robe and began walking down the stairs to the common room. Your skirt fluttered as you moved your black stocking perfectly aligned and the Gryffindor scarf you had stolen from Sirius ages ago, was tucked around your shoulder. Your robe was thrown over your arm as you rubbed your eyes. When you stepped into the common room you froze and your heart began to race.

There were cobwebs hung on the walls, skeletons of spiders moved around on them, another skeleton of a cat slinked around the room between people's feet. You noticed a few cauldrons were bubbling with something that didn’t look too dangerous and that your friends were waiting for you beside the sofa all of them staring at you.

“You guys did this?” you asked in awe.

“I wish we could take credit,” Remus began, “but this was all Lily and Sirius.”

“You two?” you asked turning towards the pair who had stood up.

“You were missing home, I told you we would help,” Lily smiled to you, and your eyes watered as you rushed to hug her.

“Don’t worry about me, love, it’s not like I stayed up til midnight helping to set this up,” Sirius drawled and you let go of Lily to throw your arms around Sirius.

Your arms wrapped around his shoulders and his looped around your waist you squeezed him tight and he tightened his grip.

“Thank you,” you whispered.

“I told you, love, whatever you need, whenever you need it,” he whispered back and you're separated.

“Thank you, all of you,” you say turning back to everyone else.

“Now, let’s eat these sweets before we get caught,” James told the lot of you as Lily sat down beside him and you fell into the seat between Sirius and Remus.

“Where did you get these?” you asked, marveling at the collection of candies, the first trip to Hogsmeade wouldn’t be for another few weeks.

“Secret Stash,” Sirius winked as you all divided the candies up.

It wasn’t until you all had eaten one and the rest were in your bags that you left the common room for the great hall. You fell into step with Remus at first and he nudged your shoulder before leaning down to whisper in your ear.

“You know he borrowed James’ cloak last night and went to Hogsmeade, right?”

“What?” you whipped your head from Remus to look at Sirius who was talking to James at the moment.

“He used the shrinking shack passageway, and went into town to get the chocolate cauldrons for you. He mentioned that they were your favorite…” Remus trailed with a wise look in his eyes. “You know, he might not be that great with the words that matter but his actions to speak quite loudly…”

When Remus was done you noticed that your eyes hadn’t left Sirius since the first glance and now he was staring back at you, though you didn’t shy away or blush under his gaze, instead, you held contact as you tried to read his stormy grey eyes. Slowly you fell into step with him as he had stopped to wait for you.

“It’s improper to lie Sirius,” you reminded him, though your voice was soft and nearly a whisper.

“I am aware, love,” he smirked, “what exactly might you be referring to?”

“You said you got the candies from your stash, Remus mentioned that you were out of cauldrons, so enlighten me, Black, where did the sweets come from?” you ask him, though this time your voice isn’t condescending as it might normally be when you’ve caught any of the marauders in a lie, this time it’s full of need. You know why, you want to hear him say he went to get them, and he went for you because of how he feels.

For the year you’ve been here you haven't grown closer with anyone as you have with Sirius, the rest of the wankers you proudly call friends have never missed the opportunity to point out that the boy is head of heels for you, however, you had never really believed them. Not with the way Sirius used to go through girls when you had first met, but thinking back, since Sirius had grown closer with you, you couldn’t recall the last time he had a girl on his arm.

“Damn Mooney, sold me out,” Sirius grumbled looking away from you.

You grabbed his hands with your smaller ones and gave them a squeeze causing him to look back to you, “please, Sirius,” you whispered to him, you needed to know.

“Hogsmeade…” he stated. “You see, love, I don’t reckon you’ve noticed but for some reason, you don’t seem to leave my thoughts.”

A shy smile broke to your lips as you dropped Sirius’ hands and flung your arms around his waist, to pull him into a hug. You felt him envelop you as well and as your head fell against his chest, you could feel it, how fast his heart is racing.

“I happen to like you an awful lot too, you know,” you whispered to him.

“Talk to me next time, Love, please. I want to be there for you,” he said softly.

“I will, promise,” you nodded and he pressed a soft kiss to your head.

It wasn’t until your first break of the day while sitting with Sirius under a tree on the lawn watching as students zipped by and vaguely able to hear the shouts of the first-time fliers down by the Quidditch pitch.

“Thank you for the sweets,” you said, leaning your head on his shoulder.

“Whatever, whenever,” he reminded you, pulling your laced fingers to his lips to press a sweet kiss on your knuckles.