#because i like a boy

[whatstruthgottodowithit]

Because I Liked A Boy [Part One]

Fandom: Harry Potter [Marauders Era]

Pairing: James Potter x Regulus Black, James Potter x Lily Evans,

Characters: James Potter, Regulus Black, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Lily Evans, Barty Crouch Jr, Evan Rosier, Marlene McKinnon, Mary MacDonald, Peter Pettigrew, Fleamont Potter, Euphemia Potter,

Word Count: 6401

Rating: Mature

Summary: Everything’s derailing. Was only tryna hold you close while your heart was failing.

Tags/ Warnings: Hogwarts, summer Challenge, Writing Challenge, Song Fic, Marauders Era, Period Typical Attitudes, Coming Out, Abusive Households, Kisses, Angst, Fluff, Regulus is underage, Wedding, Engagements, Lost Love,

Notes: One day I'll write a happy jegulus fic but not today. Also I hated having to use lily as a barrier but it's what fit the song inso so x

Summer Challenge 2024 // Song Inspo

Part One // Part Two// Part Three

‘Well go on then.’ 

Regulus didn’t know how he’d gotten here, staring down at the furious face of the red head as she watched him with flaming green eyes. He’d been standing with Remus in the corner, neither one of them party animals and therefore birds of a feather nestled away by the wall where no one would notice them. Well no one but Sirius who had tried nigh on ten times to get his boyfriend to dance, cajoling his brother into encouragement too, and now Lily who was watching him incensed.

Except she wasn’t the only one. Behind her several party goers were watching them, the same anger not displayed against their features but rather curiosity at what had gotten the normally mild-mannered witch so riled. The only one who didn’t seem curious was James who stood behind her, looking unnaturally shy as he tugged on her sleeve and said, ‘Lil leave it.’

‘No!’ Lily said, shooting him a glare before she turned her sights back on Regulus, ‘if he has something to say he can say it to my face.’

‘Oh leave off will you,’ Sirius said as he pushed through the throng of onlookers, ‘he’s just a kid.’

‘Well if he’s big enough to spread nastiness about,’ Lily said angrily, making Sirius glance at his brother curiously for a second, apparently now conflicted about whatever this spat was about. Of late he’d been coming to Regulus’ defence without question but a lifelong loyalty to James Potter was not something he gave up lightly and it was clear whatever this matter was it was about James even if Regulus feigned innocence, pushing himself up from the wall as he asked, ‘what have I done?’

Lily scoffed and shook her head before she replied, ‘you said we shouldn’t get back together. Told him that I didn’t deserve him, filled his head with all sorts of rubbish.’

Regulus said nothing but he allowed his gaze to drift past her to James. He hadn't looked at the boy once, his hazel gaze fixed firmly at his feet as he allowed his ex-girlfriend, or whatever she was, to fling her accusations around. Accusations she was waiting to be confirmed or denied as she snapped, ‘well?’

‘Lil please just leave it,’ Remus said from his side, as always the voice of reason. And as always drowned out by a Black’s sense of righteousness.

‘Well it’s not untrue,’ Regulus said simply, folding his arms as he stared the girl down.

‘Reg,’ Sirius warned, his gaze flicking between them all but landing firmly on his brother who shrugged and said ‘well it’s not. Or did she not dump him to find herself?’

‘I had a lot going on,’ Lily said defensively.

‘More like you thought you could do better only when you got there you found there wasn’t much of a demand for uptight cows and turned tail-‘

‘Reg,’ Remus groaned but Lily wasn’t for relenting, coming closer as she yelled shrilly, ‘how dare you! You have no idea what you’re talking about! As a matter of fact it’s none of your business!’

‘It is when,’ Regulus started but he was cut off, watching as Lily’s nostrils flared, her freckled skin becoming patchy red in places as her anger grew.

‘When what?’ she demanded, ‘you don’t know anything about us. I mean what are you to James? Sirius’ little brother? Some mixed up school kid trying to make grown up friends? Is that it?’

Anyone would’ve thought she was demanding the answers of Regulus except she’d turned, watching James instead, the way Regulus had. James looked up when he felt her move, panic on his handsome face as he tried to scramble for an answer. Except he didn’t make a sound. He wasn’t one to hide from the spotlight and yet now with everyone watching him he didn’t speak.

Regulus looked at him, grey eyes boring into his face as he willed for him to speak up, to say something. But he didn’t speak.

And again Regulus wondered how he’d gotten here.

He supposed Lily was right. Up until this summer he hadn't been much to James, well any of them really. Love his brother as he might Sirius’ antics had put a strain on their relationship over the years as had his immediate found friendship with ‘the marauders’. It wasn’t until one drizzly day in May when he’d gotten a letter from his mother, one that spewed hate and bile having not one but two what she deemed ‘unfit’ sons, did Regulus know there was no going back. He’d spent six years trying to not be like his brother only to find they were two sides of the same coin and when he’d written to him telling him so Sirius had been more understanding that he could’ve asked for. He’d taken him in for the summer, of course his and Remus’ apartment wasn’t massive so it meant a month or so of kipping on the sofa, but it was a home filled with love and acceptance, which wasn’t something he’d ever really known.

He also had not known a group of people to spend so much time at the pub. Of course he couldn’t complain but seeing as Remus and Sirius’ route to their bedroom would cross his path it did mean he found himself disturbed most nights. Fortunately when they came in this time he wasn’t asleep, he was sat in the armchair, curled up with a blanket and a cup of tea as he read his book, and tried to block out the dream he’d woken from not long since, the lashes of his father’s belt still feeling raw on his ankles though there was no marks to be seen.

Only when they came through the door this time, stumbling in as always, they weren’t alone. Slouched in between them was a very limp James Potter, Regulus could tell even though his head was flopped forward as the messiness of his dark locks was a telltale sign.

‘Jesus he’s like a lead weight,’ Sirius grunted as they hauled him into the room, his feet barely making traction against the cream carpet.

‘Least we managed to apparate most of the way,’ Remus grunted as they flopped him down onto the couch, adjusting himself as James sprawled out on his back, ‘I wouldn’t have liked doing that the muggle way.’

‘Nah me neither,’ Sirius agreed as he shrugged off his jacket and flung it over the back of the couch though only then did he seem to realise Regulus was awake, watching the pair of them standing over the now snoring James, ‘oh sorry Reggie didn’t see you there.’

‘It’s fine,’ Regulus muttered, trying not to wince at the sound of his detested nickname, ‘what's up with him?’

‘Blotto,’ Remus said with a yawn.

‘Heartbrokens more like it,’ Sirius said, glancing at his friend with sympathy before he looked back to Regulus and said, ‘you don’t mind if he sleeps here tonight do you? He was too upset to go back to his flat what with them living together-‘

‘It’s fine,’ Regulus said, already able to feel the crick in his neck he’d have from sitting up all night.

‘Thanks mate,’ Sirius smiled, patting his brother on the shoulder as he headed to his bedroom. Remus moved around the room for a minute, taking James’ shoes and glasses off and procuring a bowl for him to be sick into if needed. Regulus pretended not to watch though he offered the other man a smile before he disappeared behind their bedroom door.

Once he was gone silence fell, the only thing to be heard James’ heavy drunken breathing and the turning of Regulus’ pages though admittedly they had slowed. He didn’t know why he was watching the boy; it wasn’t like he’d never met him before. He’d known of the infamous James Potter at school, though admittedly he’d kept his distance as Sirius was normally not far behind, and he’d met him a couple of times since landing on his brother’s doorstep, normally in passing as the pair headed for a night out.

Still his curiosity had been sparked, not because they'd been out drinking but rather because Sirius had said he was heartbroken. Of course Regulus knew about Lily. After all, even from Slytherin house one couldn’t escape James Potter's infatuation with the redhead. If anything it had amused Regulus to see self-assured Potter put in his place here and there, at least he had been until she’d caved in sixth year and the pair had started dating. Or at least had been dating up to now it seemed.

‘I can feel you watching me you know,’ the boy grumbled, his eyes still closed though it was enough to make Regulus freeze like a deer in headlights. James shifted, cracking one eye open and watching Regulus who looked away and muttered, ‘I wasn’t watching you.’

‘It’s alright. But just so you know I normally charge a galleon for people to come and marvel at my beauty,’ James yawned as he rolled over pushing himself up until he was sitting before he peeled his jumper up over his head, causing his hair to fall into disarray even further. Regulus rolled his eyes at the comment though he couldn’t stop himself from looking at the boy, even though his knuckles were almost white holding his book, begging him to return to the page. He almost wished he had as when James looked up and caught him looking again he smiled and said, ‘sorry if I woke you up.’

‘You didn’t,’ Regulus said, the memories of his nightmare creeping into his brain though he forced it out, ‘I was awake...I was reading.’

‘Right yeah,’ James said, flopping his head back against the couch as he looked towards the fireplace. It was unlit, old, burned wood laying in the hearth but he watched it as if there were flames dancing around to mesmerise him. And just like the dreams had crept in on Regulus the thoughts of heartbreak appeared on James’ face as he came to.

And though he knew he probably shouldn’t, he wasn’t much of a talker himself, he found himself asking, ‘are you okay?’

‘Not really,’ James said honestly, tearing his gaze away from the fire with a sniffle.

‘Do you…do you want to talk about it?’ Regulus asked, scolding himself for doing so. What was he going to talk to James Potter about? He barely knew the man, not to mention it wasn’t as though Regulus’ love life was anything noteworthy. And it wasn’t as if he could offer any advice about girls. Fortunately James shook his head and realising that was a way to get away Regulus nodded and stood up, slinking the blanket onto the floor as he asked, ‘want a cup of tea?’

‘Tea?’ James asked.

‘Yeah, Sirius always used to make me a cup of tea when I was upset but I was making one anyway,’ he said, feeling red tinge his ears at how caring he sounded. James yawned, ‘sure go on then.’

At that Regulus darted into the kitchen, thankful of the wall now between them which hid his crimson cheeks from view. He didn’t know why it embarrassed him so much. Then again he wasn’t exactly accustomed to being nice, not overtly anyway. His friends were more of an eye roll and scathing wit kind of vibe rather than the unfathomable enthusiasm and gentle teasing his brother’s friends seemed to thrive in. Though maybe it was just because he’d brought up a topic James would rather not speak of and as someone who was used to the ‘stiff upper lip’ he'd made an error by bringing it up. Then again maybe it was the way that seeing an upset James had tugged at his heartstrings, the way he’d wanted to do something, anything, that would make him feel better.

Regulus brushed it aside as he made two cups of tea, one black and the other strong but milky with enough sugar to stand a spoon up in it in anticipation of fending off the other boy’s hangover. When he appeared back in the living room James was sitting up near his side of the couch, reading the back of Regulus’ book though he placed it down as the boy appeared, reaching out to take the cup from him as Regulus muttered, ‘here.’

‘Cheers,’ James said, taking a small sip.

‘It’s alright,’ Regulus said as he took a seat in his chair and took a sip himself. They were quiet for a moment and again Regulus felt the need to speak, something he never normally felt and so he offered, ‘I er, I looked for biscuits but I couldn’t find any.’

‘It’s alright,’ James shrugged.

‘Yeah…I guess I just fancied a custard cream,’ Regulus said, his throat drying up as James looked at him inquisitively, ‘they’re my favourite.’

James nodded and looked away, taking another small sip as Regulus tapped his fingers around the rim of his mug. It was ceramic and thick, unlike the China tea set his mother had which he had to admit made the difference. He missed that tea set. He missed drinking tea in the garden on a summer's afternoon.  And as always to his surprise he missed his mother, as twisted as it was to miss someone who no longer wanted you.

‘She dumped me,’ James mumbled, snapping Regulus back from thoughts of afternoon tea in the back garden of Grimmauld place.

‘Oh,’ Regulus said, ‘I’m sorry.’

‘S’alright,’ James sniffed, analysing the cup before him as though that should be his focus even though he’d been the one to bring it up. Regulus realised he could probably leave it there but the hurt in the boy's voice made him want to hear more. After all, if he heard more maybe he could fix it.

‘Did she say why?’ he probed.

‘We’re too busy for a relationship. It’s not like it was at school. She wants to find herself,’ James said, parroting the words rather than speaking them himself as evidenced by the scorn in his voice, ‘just think she was sick of me to be honest.’

‘Well you’re not so bad,’ Regulus said. He’d been biting his lip, holding in the snark that was destined to break free from him if he didn’t, but at hearing the downtrodden way James spoke of himself he felt compelled to refute though he didn’t know why. He knew of James Potter, it was hard not to, and though he’d never gone out of his way to know him well he knew one thing, he wasn’t that bad of a guy. James looked up as he spoke, ‘even if you do stumble in at one in the morning and wake me up.’

‘Thanks,’ he chuckled.

‘It’s alright,’ Regulus smiled softly.

‘And er sorry about that,’ James said with a grin, ‘maybe if I make it up to you I’ll go from not so bad to fairly decent eh?’

‘Maybe,’ Regulus agreed.

After that the pair settled down to sleep, whatever booze was still in James’ system combining with his sugary beverages and pulling him fast into slumber, only when Regulus awoke late in the morning he was alone. He had been right about the chair, the crick in his neck was so stiff but as he spotted the jumper still strewn across the back of the sofa he couldn’t help but smile, the flutter of butterflies in his stomach at the sight of it. He tried to ignore it, in fact when Sirius, Remus and James returned from James’ flat, after having gathered some belongings for a temporary stay, Regulus made himself scarce, opting to spend time in the boys’ bedroom or out on the tiny balcony. He only reappeared when it was nearing ready for bed, ready to take root in his designated armchair since James had somehow wangled the couch full time.

When he did he found Sirius looking in the mirror as he ran his fingers through his hair in the hopes to get it looking naturally windswept. Remus however didn’t seem bothered about his appearance as he was too busy yawning as he tried to lace up his boots. 

‘Going somewhere?’ Regulus asked as he took a seat, eyeing the couple and then James who was practically vibrating with enthusiasm as he stood opposite.

‘Pub,’ James said happily.

‘Pub,’ Remus answered at the same time, far less enthusiastic.

‘You can come if you want,’ James said though Regulus ignored him, opting instead to ask, ‘didn't you go last night?’

‘Yeah but someone said we’d go again,’ Remus said, shooting Sirius a dirty look.

‘Well it’s better than moping around here all night,’ Sirius said, moving towards James and pinching his cheek, ‘can't stand it when he mopes.’

‘Gerroff,’ James grunted, his excitement waning just an ounce, ‘M’not moping. Besides, it was your idea too. We don't have to go.’

‘We want to,’ Sirius said, sharing a serious look with Remus, ‘right Moony?’

‘Right. Let’s get this show on the road then,’ Remus agreed standing up and looking towards Regulus, ‘sure you don’t want to tag on?’

‘No thanks,’ Regulus said, relieved to have some time to himself.

‘Suit yourself,’ Sirius said, ‘see you later.’

‘Yeah later,’ Regulus said as the three walked to the door though as Sirius and Remus disappeared, walking down the stairs outside the flat James stopped, glancing to make sure they were away before he dashed to his backpack and pulled something out tossing them to Regulus who caught them smoothly, twirling the yellow packet around to see what he was holding.

‘Custard creams,’ James said with a smile, ‘as penance for waking you up.’

‘Last night or tonight?’ Regulus asked, feeling his stomach flutter as James smiled.

‘Well let's see what happens,’ James winked, and without another word he flounced out leaving Regulus looking at the packet of biscuits and trying to dispel the fizzy feeling in his stomach.

Following that first night Regulus did try to maintain his distance from James. He had his own friends, he didn't need his brothers too, but it was hard to do when you shared a makeshift bedroom with someone. In fact over the next couple of weeks they fell into an unspoken routine. With jobs yet to start following their departure from school they were all still on borrowed time and spending their days lolling around the flat and their nights in the pub. Regulus didn’t attend but every night when James came home, in various states of inebriation, he found himself waiting up for him, ready to spend ten minutes to two hours just speaking with him. He didn’t know why, what drew him to those conversations but somehow they felt mutually beneficial. Like whatever was said was confined to them, not to be mentioned again or used against one another in the real world. Their own little bubble. Regulus knew what it was. Two broken hearted people trying to hold one another close in the hopes of keeping themselves together but at times he found himself wondering if it was just that. When James looked at him a little too long or he caught himself mesmerised by the way James spoke. He thought there may be something more.

Of course he only thought those things in the dead of night. In daylight it never seemed the same, namely because in the day his brother was usually sitting not far away and would surely notice him ogling his best friend. Which was why Regulus was taken off guard one July morning when Sirius appeared from his bedroom and decreed the pair of them spend the day together.

‘You want us to go on a day out together?’ Regulus implored, ‘why?’

‘Not a day out together. I just want you both out of the flat for the day,’ Sirius said, rolling his eyes.

‘Why?’ Regulus grumbled.

‘Moony’s not well and I want to make him feel better,’ Sirius said, silencing James with a hand as he said, ‘and no you can't help. Not with what I’ve got planned anyway.’

Rather than being scarred for life Regulus had promptly made himself scarce though he’d only found himself down the street before he felt a presence by his side and looked up to find James smiling down on him.

‘Thought we could both find something to do,’ James said, ‘beats trudging around London on our own.’

Regulus hadn't been able to refuse, even if he had he doubted James would’ve heard him with the amount of ideas he had been rhyming off as they strolled the streets of London. To Regulus’ surprise though they stayed away from the alley opting to spend the morning in a muggle café before wandering to the local park. They wandered around the large pond it held for a while before taking a seat on the grassy knoll next to it and watching the ducks swim by. There wasn’t much talking whilst they sat there, as if they’d run out of things to say without Sirius or Remus as a buffer or that their normal topics of conversation were somehow off limits in the daylight.

Though after a while he could feel James watching him and when he turned he was, his arms resting back behind him as he watched the younger boy closely. Regulus turned away self-consciously as if he could fend off whatever was going to come from James mouth though he could sense it coming.

‘So,’ James started, ‘are you looking forward to school?’

‘No,’ Regulus said dully, turning his attention to plucking grass from the ground.

‘Why not?’ James asked, ‘it’s your last year isn't it? I mean the exams are shit but it’s a fun one.’

‘Yeah real fun when everyone knows you're staying at your brother’s because your mums disowned you both for being as bent as a hundred galleon coin.’

‘They’ll not care,’ James reasoned, sitting up and watching Regulus. His face was stoic and poised but he could see the way his lip quivered before he muttered, ‘it’s gossip. Of course they’ll care.’

‘Yeah I guess,’ James said, watching him sadly. The pair fell quiet with Regulus staring out at the ducks on the pond, swimming gracefully along to murky water, whilst James watched him. He knew he probably didn’t have a right to ask, that it was none of his business, but he had found this weird understanding with Regulus that he hadn't expected. He didn’t know if it was an instilled politeness within the boy that forced him to continue the conversation whenever James started, which granted was so frequent his mother had once remarked he’d be able to start a conversation in an empty room, or whether he’d come to like James the way James had come to like Regulus. But whatever it was he found that whenever he asked a question Regulus would answer it. Whatever burden he offloaded he’d listen to. Whatever curiosity he proffered would be met with a smile and an eye roll but accepted all the same. James liked it and, curious, he found himself asking another question.

‘How did you know?’ he asked, causing grey eyes to glance in his direction, dark brows fusing together as he tried to get a hold on what James was asking. James could practically see his train of thought before he replied, ‘that I was gay?’

‘Yeah,’ James said, pushing himself up until he was sitting beside him, an understanding yet curious expression on his face. Regulus tensed and shuffled under the scrutiny.

‘Why do you want to know?’ Regulus asked quietly.

‘Dunno,’ James shrugged, ‘just curious I guess.’

Regulus could feel his heart hammering in his chest. He’d never really spoken about it before, his friends had assumed but not pried and besides one tense conversation with Sirius it’d sort of faded into the background. It was just a part of him. Like being a Black was. Not something he wanted scrutinised and poked at. Except it was James who was asking. James, with his carefree, unbelievably understanding attitude to everyone. James who was watching him closely, a sympathetic smile on his plump lips.

‘Guess I’ve always known,’ Regulus uttered after a moment.

‘That’s what Moony says,’ James sighed, ‘well he said he didn’t know know until we all went girl mad. But Pads said it came out of the blue. Like it was about Moony not boys you know. Is that what it’s like for you?’

‘Well considering I’ve never had a Moony I don’t think so,’ Regulus said, his heart still thudding.

‘Yeah I guess,’ James said, looking as though he was deep in thought as the furrowing of his brow caused his glasses to slip further down his nose, ‘so how do you know?’

‘How did you know you liked girls,’ Regulus challenged, though he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear it. It was one thing to hear about all the ways his relationship had gone wrong and all the things he no longer liked about Lily; it was another to hear what he actually liked.

‘Fair point,’ James said, ‘but maybe I don’t. Maybe no one does.’

‘What?’ Regulus asked, confused.

‘Well Pads thought he liked girls but what if it doesn’t work like that. What if you like what you’re told to like until you’re proven wrong,’ James said, looking up at the boy though as he noticed the gentle drop of Regulus’ jaw he shifted rubbing the back of his neck. But Regulus persisted.

‘Wait so you think I’m gonna kiss some girl and be straight,’ Regulus scoffed, trying not to feel hurt. Was it possible James was only okay with being gay when it came to his best friends. When it was Sirius only having eyes for Remus and not any boy that walked by? Was it possible James Potter was just as narrow minded and stuffy as most pure-blooded wizards seemed to be? Regulus prayed that wasn’t true but given the way James became shifty and moved away from him he felt his stomach churn.

‘Never mind,’ James said, standing up and dusting the grass from his backside, ‘let's head back, they're bound to be done by now.’

‘Eugh don’t,’ Regulus said as he climbed up, simultaneously grateful for the distraction and abhorred at the idea of what Sirius was up to.

‘Let’s just hope they stuck to the bedroom,’ James said, offering him a cheeky grin and darting out of his way as Regulus went to shove him.

Fortunately Remus and Sirius were both up and in the living room, fully dressed, when the pair got back to the flat. And though Remus seemed tired they seemed happy to relive James’ retelling of their day out as they watched TV. However as they got to the duck pond, James conveniently left out the conversation they’d had which only made it blare in Regulus’ mind and so for distraction he stayed out on the balcony reading once more until it got far too cold to bear. When he did get inside however Remus was curled up on the couch, his head in the lap of Sirius, who was watching TV, albeit by trying to navigate his head around James who was standing in front of the screen.

‘Please Pads,’ James whined.

‘No,’ Sirius said.

‘It’s one night,’ James reasoned.

‘I don’t mind,’ Remus said, though he barely got the words out of his mouth before he yawned.

‘We’ve been out all bloody week,’ Sirius said, ‘Moony wants a night off.’

‘And he’s said you can go without him!’ James challenged, ‘or can you two not be apart for ten minutes?’

‘Reverse psychology isn’t going to work on him. You’ll just put him in a bad mood,’ Regulus said as he slipped into his chair, earning himself a glare from James and a wry smile from Sirius who knew he was right.

‘Look one night off isn’t the end of the world,’ Sirius reasoned, ‘and nothings stopping you from going out you know.’

‘I can't go out on my own, that's just sad,’ James pouted, folding his arms across him.

‘Ask Pete?’ Remus reasoned.

‘He’s going on holiday tomorrow,’ James said, ‘he never lasts long anyway.’

‘Well take Reg if you’re so hard up,’ Sirius said.

‘Excuse me?’ Regulus scoffed.

‘Pads he’s underage,’ Remus said, though the way he glanced at the younger boy signalled he was trying to get him out of going rather than a disapproval of underage drinking.

‘And?’ Sirius said rolling his eyes, ‘we got served underage he’ll be fine. And it’ll stop him from moaning.’

‘Do I get a say in this?’ Regulus asked looking between the three of them only that didn’t last long as James was in his space immediately, pulling him up and grabbing his coat as he said, ‘nope. You’re coming whether you like it or not.’

Needless to say, Regulus' first time in a muggle club didn’t go down all that well. He had not minded the pub, that was easy going and James actually spoke to him then. He’d even been so happy to have someone come out with him he insisted on buying every drink. Only the more he’d drunk the more boisterous he’d gotten. Their conversations turned to drunken nonsense with James intent on bringing anyone they saw into the group. That was how they’d ended up at the club, Regulus stood in the corner nursing a gin and tonic as he watched James move from girl to girl throwing out cheesy chat up line after cheesy chat up line with unmovable confidence. Regulus watched them fawning over him, the dorky self-assurance he had a charm for ninety percent of them. The way it was for Regulus in every moment but this one. After an hour of watching him Regulus could take no more and so as another girl sashayed back to her giggling friends he presented himself at James’ side. He looked confused to see him, as if he’d forgotten they were even there together but he smiled at him nonetheless, a smile that dimmed as Regulus said, ‘I’m going home.’

‘What?’ James asked, ‘you can't.’

‘Why not? So I can sit and watch you flirt with every girl who walks past,’ Regulus said rolling his eyes, ‘no thanks.’

‘You can’t just go,’ James protested.

‘I just want to go to bed,’ Regulus sighed, ‘I’ll see you back at the flat.’

And before James could utter another protestation he was weaving through the mass of sweaty bodies until he was finally out into the small reception area only before he got out the door he was dragged into an alcove, club goers and security moving past the pair of them as if they weren’t there. James looked flushed, his cheeks tinged with pink and his hair pushed back from his forehead as he looked down at him and said, ‘Reg don’t go.’

‘Why not?’ Regulus said.

‘Cos I don’t want you to,’ James said.

‘So you’ve got someone to drag your arse home when-‘

And then his snappy retort was cut off because he was up against the wall, James’ body against his as he kissed him fiercely. Regulus went limp allowing himself to be kissed before James pulled back with a small smile on his face, that self-assured nature never failing him, ‘told you I didn’t want you to go.’

They hadn't spent long in the club after that, a grimy club in east London was alright for a first kiss Regulus supposed but he wanted James to himself and so they quickly headed back to the flat. And where their nights had been chalked with talking it turned to more, the same give and take they'd had before as they learned more about one another, shared more than they ever had before. It wasn’t easy. It was new territory for the pair of them and it felt like if they spoke about it it’d all come crashing down, the intangible turned disastrous. So it lived between them in stolen moments and knowing glances.

That’s how Regulus came to be lying in his brother's bed, James’ head in his lap as he played with his hair. It was baking, the sun blaring through the windows and radiating the room but Regulus had no desire to move. That was coming soon enough, he was due back at Hogwarts in a matter of weeks which meant an end or at least a change to whatever this was.

‘You’re quiet,’ James said, turning to rest his chin on his arm that was splayed across Regulus’ thigh.

‘Just thinking,’ Regulus said, running his fingers through his hair.

‘About?’ James asked.

‘Me going back to school,’ Regulus admitted, trying to ignore the lump in his throat.

‘It’s ages off yet,’ James said quietly.

‘Two weeks,’ Regulus corrected.

‘So?’ James murmured.

‘So…’ Regulus hesitated, ‘so what if you forget about me?’

‘Bollocks,’ James said, rolling his eyes.

‘James,’ Regulus mumbled but he wasn't listening but sitting up and pulling Regulus with him until they were face to face, that self-assured smile on his face.

‘How could I?’ James said, ghosting his finger along the razor-sharp line of Regulus’ jaw.

‘Because you’ll be here living a proper life and I’ll just be a kid at school,’ Regulus mumbled, again amazed at how open he could be when it came to him, ‘it’s not even like anyone knows.’

‘You said you didn’t want to tell anyone,’ James reasoned.

‘Yeah because…well it’s different for me,’ Regulus said.

‘Why?’

‘Because I’m not…you’re my first everything and I’m…’ he didn’t finish fearing the look in James’ eyes if he mentioned the word rebound would confirm the fears he’d been having.

‘Well no, you’re not my first, well you kind of are in a way,’ James said, interlacing his fingers with Regulus, smiling as he murmured, ‘but you are my favourite…and I guess I didn’t know I could love someone like this.’

‘James,’ Regulus mumbled. He wanted to say it back. But he couldn’t make the words come, not before there was a jangle of keys in the front door spurring them into action and breaking them apart.

After that he didn’t really know how to bring it up and as the deadline for Regulus to leave crept closer he felt as though to utter it, to speak it into existence would only make it harder to leave. Because he didn’t want to leave. He wanted to lock himself away and stay with James forever no more so than when he felt him pull away, their time together curtailed by Sirius’ new need to see his brother as much as humanly possible, even going so far as to host a party before he was destined to return to Hogwarts. The night before the dreaded get together was the last moment alone he’d gotten with James, the pair of them huddled on the couch, the tv on in the background, murmuring to itself as James said, ‘I er, stopped by flat today.’

‘Your flat?’ Regulus asked.

‘Yeah,’ James said casually, ‘picked up some stuff.’

‘Was Lily there?’ Regulus asked, hating the tightness that came into his voice just as much as he hated the way James shifted uncomfortably.

‘Yeah,’ James said, ‘she um, asked if she could come to the party. Seeing as everyone else is.’

‘What did you say?’ Regulus asked though he was sure he knew the answer. James Potter was not one to leave a person out, no matter the circumstances.

‘Well I said I’d ask,’ James mumbled, ‘but it’s okay by me.’

‘You don’t care?’ Regulus asked, unable to see how weeks of moping over the girl had suddenly transpired into not being bothered though he hoped that was due to his handiwork.

‘No,’ James said, ‘we erm, talked it out.’

‘What did she say?’ Regulus asked.

‘She said she was sorry,’ James said, ‘I said it was okay.’

‘That was all she said?’ Regulus pressed.

‘Yeah,’ James muttered. Regulus was watching him closely but in a manner unlike himself James wasn’t looking at him as he spoke, keeping his eyes on the TV as if he was avoiding the scrutiny. As if he was avoiding Regulus entirely. After a summer of nothing but raw honesty it was unsettling for Regulus to feel so out of his depth. He was sure there was something more to it, James wasn’t exactly hard to read, but he didn’t feel as though he was allowed to press on. The fact that he had withheld himself the past week meaning he would be a hypocrite to demand answers. Instead he swallowed the lump in his throat and said, ‘well if you don’t mind it’s okay with me.’

And that was it. Whatever James had held back leaving him here, thinking of everything that had brought them to this moment. It all passed through his mind like a blur. And yet now the only thing he could think of now was the way James was looking at him, guilt in his eyes as he cleared his throat and said, ‘she’s right.’

‘What?’ Regulus whispered.

‘It’s nothing to do with you,’ James said, not meeting his eye, ‘it’s none of your business.’

‘Well sorry I interfered,’ Regulus said tightly, whatever snappy quip he could offer dying on his tongue as he realised it would do him no favours, not when everyone who was watching the interaction was bound to be on their side. After all, what was Regulus to them? A sharp-tongued brat. Sirius’ kid brother. A reason to come to a party and nothing more.

And as it seemed from the way James looked at him, his hazel eyes large and apologetic, now just a memory. Nothing more.

‘Yeah well in future keep your nose out of other people's relationships,’ Lily snapped.

‘Alright you’ve said your piece,’ Sirius said, getting between them as Regulus shrunk back against the wall, ‘he’s said he’s sorry.’

‘Pads is right everyone back to dancing,’ Remus said, stepping in front of the boy and blocking him from view as he spied the glassy look in his eyes. Regulus didn’t thank him. He barely made a noise as he slipped into the bedroom and closed the door behind him, locking it with his wand before he sank to the ground and allowed the tears to fall. 

[lesbxdyke]

I could think of no better way to share the news than this!

So when I was 17, my cat went missing and I'd given up hope of ever seeing him again.

Until on Monday, 27th of May, 2024, my friend sent me a FB post asking 'isn't that your mother?' about the person named on the microchip.

Here he is! 16 years old, and found safe, twelve whole years after he went missing!

Yesterday (Tuesday the 28th of May, 2024) I went to the rescue that had him, and I reclaimed my boy, renaming him Artie! (He'd originally been called 'Cat' because my mother and I couldn't decide on a name)

He's home safe with me now, currently inhabiting my bathroom and purring up a storm every time someone goes in there!

I'll be doing slow introductions between him and my current cat to give them the best possible chance of living in harmony!

Here's some pictures of Artie once we let him out of the carrier:

[muffinlance]

My baby daughter got her adorable puffin-print dress absolutely CAKED in mud crawling around the yard and my first thought was "oh no her beautiful dress"

And my second thought was "oh huh it really WOULD be easy to unconsciously steer her away from playing in the dirt. Unlike my son, whose outfits are usually some kind of solid dark easily washed pants plus a shirt that doesn't trail in the dirt like a dress does."

Anyway something something gender roles start getting shoved on kids from literal birth, but with a little time to think about things, YOU TOO can let your children of any gender absolutely destroy their clothes in the dirt pit they're digging in your garden

[inbabylontheywept]

i did wrestling in middle school. on one hand, i was actually quite good at it, which was nice. being good at any sport was a new achievement for me. on the other hand, i was bi, and i was trying very hard not to notice that i was bi, and getting folded into knots by very kind, very muscular dorks made that task somewhat difficult.

adding fire to the problem was that my parents and my grandparents wanted to watch my matches, because they were very proud that their Gangly Nerd Son was actually Sporting, and they wanted to cheer me on. which would've been sweet and all, but if there are four people you do not want there during a key part of your Burgeoning Sexual Awakening, it is your mom and your dad and your grandma and your grandpa.

right? i mean, imagine some guy's got your head in his armpit, and you're going you know, old sweat smells bad, but fresh sweat has a sort of and then you make eye contact with your grandpa in the stands and you remember you're swearing spandex so if you pop a boner people aren't just going to be able to see the outline, they're going to be able to count the veins, and the only way you will be able to restore your family's honor after that would be by moving to siberia and renouncing joy, forever. that, or lift your entire body up by your kneck then twist 180 degrees without paralyzing yourself.

it’s a lot of pressure, is what i’m saying.

still it did motivate me to win my matches really fast. because i was so tall and skinny, i was stupidly good at the double leg takedown, and then once someone was knocked down, i'd just do the half nelson and kind of flip em over for the pin. then the ref would count to three and i’d win. EZPZ.

i had one match where that went great. won in the first ten seconds, sat back down, and prepared myself for a good hour or two of doing fuck all. didn't even feel bad the parents/grandparents were gonna be bored. the matches went up from me in 5 pound increments (i was in the 115 lbs division) and it was going great until we got to the 145 lbs division. the other school's wrestler stepped onto the mat, and she turned out to be a girl so our guy flipped, because for straight guys, wrestling a girl is not a pleasant experience.

i'm not entirely unsympathetic. my experience wrestling dudes was definitely a little traumatic. but also, i dealt. guy could've dealt too. instead, he refused to wrestle, and the coach went - fine. not even worth fighting over.

so he went to the 140 pounder, and that guy said, nosir, my mom said mormons can't wrestle girls. next guy down, 135 pounder, now he knew he could pull the same card and thus did. 130 pounder, 125, both tapped out. he got to the 120 guy, and that guy was catholic, but he said he was considering being mormon, and thus would have to pass. as a precaution.

coach blew up a little at that. he said "is there anyone - anyone - on this entire goddamn team that is willing to wrestle a girl?" and then he pointed at me and said "YOU. MAT. GO."

and i'll be real, if i'd been paying more attention, i'd have pulled the mormon card too, but i'd just been putting all that audio into a buffer file because i was reading, so i was halfway across the mat before i even processed what had been said and by then it was too late to turn back.

still i had a plan. and my plan - my beautiful, perfect plan - was to do what i'd always done. tackle, flip, pin, win. sit down. read. bore my family to death. move on.

i got the first part right. she was bigger than me, but she wasn't taller. just an incredibly stout woman. god built me like a snake with glasses, just as he built her like a combat cube. the problem was the half nelson. soon as she was down, i tried hooking my arm under hers from behind and for both genders, the defense for this move is just clamping your arms really fucking tight against your sides. if you're a guy, that's whatever, but if you're a girl - especially if you're god's chosen combat cube - that pins your opponents hand right against your boob.

so, i got the hook in, she clamped, my whole arm pressed against something soft, my coach was yelling THE HALF NELSON. BABYLON! JUST FINISH IT! FINISH THE HALF NELSON! and i was just trying to press hard enough to finish, when then my brain went

...oh.

and i flipped out. of course i flipped out. i like girls, and touching a boob is an elemental experience, and i was not ready. i was not prepared. i had not committed the sacred rites. i recoiled like i'd just brushed my arm against the surface of the sun, stood up, and backed away. nobody in the room knew why i'd given up. all they saw was me, right about to win, suddenly flailing around and scrambling. so everyone started screaming at me to just get the half nelson again, and i couldn't really yell back there's a fuckin' boob in the way and it was very distressing, and the only way i could think of to make them stop was just doing it over again the right way.

so i did.

i hunkered down and prepared myself for Wrasslin' Attempt #2: The Sequel.

i knocked her down again, EZPZ. i went for the half nelson again, but she knew what i was about to do so she super clamped, and i knew she was gonna super clamp, so i wound my arm back like a pop-eye cartoon punch before swinging my arm through the gap between her bicep and her side, but the amount of time i spent winding back super signalled what i was about to to do, which gave her time to clamp even harder, which somehow redirected the entire force of the popeye punch to the bottom of her bra.

it spat out a single boob the same way an action hero might spit out one single tooth after getting a solid crack across the jaw. as if to say:

*ptooie.* "that all you got?"

i did not actually see this. my experience was that first there was an arm, then there was a bit of boob, but i was braced, i was ready, forward at all costs, tatakae motherfuckers, and then the boob went away, and i didn't know where it went but my team, and the audience, and everyone who was in front of me, they all gasped like i just kicked them in the stomach. except for my coach. he was behind me, and thus one of the four people in the room who did not see the boob. now my mom, my dad, my grandma, and my grandpa, they all got flashed but nooooooo, coach thunderbutt was behind me, and he didn't see shit so he was still yelling NOOOOOO BABYLON WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST FINISH THE NELSON! GO FOR THE KILL! BABYLON! BABYLON!

but i did not go for the kill. i stood up and she stuffed her boob back real fast, and we just kind of circled each other awkwardly until time ran out and i won on points. that's not technically allowed, but the ref had some mercy on me.

my coach did not.

i barely had time to sit down before he strode over to the bench to chew me out.

"babylon," he said, in that very calm way people get when they're too pissed to yell. "why didn't you pin?"

and i didn't know how to say well coach, i tried, but there was a boob, and it kept getting in the way, and my mom was watching, and so was my dad, and so was his dad, and his mom, and god (like bible god) and that's a can of worms because i'm pretty sure he was already mad at me, and i'm wearing spandex, and i think i might have to move to siberia, so instead i said

"i uh. i forgot how to do the half nelson."

which is actually impossible. forgetting how to do the half nelson is like forgetting how to swallow your spit.

and he looked at me, like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked through him like i'd just survived my 250th day in a trench at verdun, and he said: fine.

fine.

but we're all going to practice it for an hour tomorrow because you forgot.

and then he left.

and my buddies had the gall to be salty about it. i got so many comments saying "dude, why didn't you just tell him the truth?" and i said "you can if you care so damn much. you could've wrestled the girl too. maybe someone else should do the hard thing today."

but they didn't. so the next day, we did an hour of half nelson drills, and i spent a decent amount of time getting thrown around the mat, and it was pleasant in exactly the way that i hated and the year after that, to the surprise of everyone but myself, i quit wrestling and joined the trivia team.

and if you want more reasons to love my mom, my grandpa joked after the match that i might have to talk to my bishop about it, and my mom told him he would be allowed to make jokes after he stood in front of a crowd of 110 people in spandex underpants while wrestling a woman that was not his wife.

he paused for almost five seconds after that. then he said: aw. hell. sorry babylon.

and i'd have preferred my apology from god, but getting it from him was pretty good too.

[daftmooncretin]

spock’s room decor is actually fucking bonkers. The weapons??? the big red velvet curtain??? like ok phantom of the opera go crazy.

for reference jim’s room has some photos and a plant so we can surmise this is uniquely a spock being a dramatic weirdo thing

[doctorsiren]

Gravity Falls AU where everything is exactly the same except Bill’s parents are alive and well, and they’re just so proud of their chaotic dream demon son

[malenjoyer]

WE'RE SO BACK

[artkaninchenbau]

Crocodile finds a strange stray cat an 11-year old Nico Robin (AU where they met 13 years earlier. Robin's been on the run from the World Government for 3 years. Crocodile's 27 and has not set up base in Alabasta yet)

It seems like I have become possessed. By some sort of demon.

Bonus:

[bajaja-blast]

you dislike Luke Castellan because he disagreed with an oppressive government system and actually took action to change the abusive ways him and his peers have been forced to follow for millennia.

I dislike Luke Castellan because in the Titans Curse he manipulated Annabeth, who he raised as his little sister, into holding up the sky, the FUCKING sky, for over 20 hours and had the audacity to walk away as though he was completely apathetic towards it while she begged and pleaded with him to help her.

we are not the same.

[mangozic]

pre-distortion michael shelley but pointier and more shaped

[pinkravat-art]

i cannot keep my identity secret anymore. I am harrier du bois

[scurvyboy]

he's just ricky trailer park boys if you think about it

[wolfienation]

absolutely hilarious to me that agatha calls rio a bad boy when in reality rio is actually the rule following jock with infinite patience and care who brings you flowers on a first date.

agatha on the other hand is the snarky girl who gets into arguements with her teacher about the smallest details in the lecture and is constantly getting detention for cursing someone out. she's top of all her classes tho.

[reasonsforhope]

Sometimes you just have one of those moments where the progress we've made as a culture get thrown into stark relief. You look at something and go "Holy shit, that would never have happened when I was a kid."

Today, I had one of those moments when I realized that the teenage boys I'm working with are just. genuinely, openly enthusiastic about going to Build-a-Bear for their outing.

These are sixteen and seventeen year old boys! They just had a whole conversation about what to name their "cute", mostly new squishmallows! They're genuinely excited that they're going to Build-a-Bear this weekend and asking other kids to pick up specific accessories for them!!

Holy shit, that never would've happened when I was 16. None of the boys would have dared to be visibly interested - and neither would most of the girls! There would have been a million gay jokes and "Haha, you're a girl" jokes and "What are you, a baby?" jokes. Teenagers weren't even supposed to care about anything back then!

Less than 15 years later, and I'm watching three 17 year old boys treat all that as not even worthy of comment.

So let's call that a reason for hope. Even when the kids aren't alright, in some ways apparently they are alright. Go Gen Z, honestly. It's so lovely to watch you guys just openly doing and saying stuff that, when I was a teen, would've been a social death sentence.

[lil-lemon-snails]

sometimes you just need to hear it v some stills below the cut v

[blondie-drawings]

can't stop thinking about those skeleton lesbians (pt 1)