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ultravioletbrit · 4 months ago
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“rumor” - Jegulus microfic - @into-the-jeggyverse - 375 words
Gossip spreads faster than fiendfyre at Hogwarts, so it’s no surprise that the rumor about James and Regulus is all over the school by the end of the day. When James walks into the Great Hall for dinner, all eyes are on him instantly and whispers break out all around him as he walks over to the Gryffindor table. He sits down across from Sirius and tries to keep his head down, but he can feel Sirius’ eyes on him, so he looks up at his friend and immediately regrets it. James has seen Sirius’ glare before but never directed at him and it’s so intense it actually makes him flinch back a bit.
“It’s…” James barely gets a sound out before Sirius cuts him off.
“My baby brother, James?” His voice is threateningly low.
“It didn’t actually happen, Sirius.” James tries to defend himself.
“Not that I didn’t want it to.” James hears Regulus say. He didn’t even notice Regulus walk up behind him and he whips around to look at him.
“What does that mean?” Sirius asks and James turns back to him.
“I think it’s pretty obvious what that means, Sirius.” Regulus says casually, completely unaffected by Sirius’ murderous glare.  
James turns again and just as he makes eye contact with Regulus he leans down and kisses James on the cheek. Despite all the eyes on him and Sirius’ glare burning into the back of his head, James can’t help but close his eyes and sigh a little.
“Meet me in the locker room after dinner. We can finish what we started.” Regulus whispers with a smirk then just turns and walks away.
That boy will be the death of me. James thinks as he slowly turns back around only to meet Sirius’ glare again. Nope, Sirius will quite literally be the death of me. James corrects himself.
Sirius stands up slowly giving James just enough time to get a bit of a head start. He runs out of the Great Hall but slows down as he’s passing Regulus and kisses him on the cheek.
“I’ll see you after dinner.” He tells him.
“NO, YOU WILL NOT!” Sirius yells and James starts running again.
James is pretty sure he knows what the gossip will be tomorrow.   
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hauntedwitch04 · 8 months ago
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I'm so excited
Remus Lupin x reader
Words: about 4.0k words
Warnings: smut, possessive!Remus, swearing, not proofreaded (sorry it's really late, and I'm starting to imagine things :) )
Author’s note: Hi loves! I'm so so so so so sorry, but life it's really kinking me in the ass and seems like uni likes to do the same, so I hope to write some more during this break. Let me know if you liked this one, your witch Becky
Requests are open I Ask
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KINKTOBER ...........-..........KINKTOBER TAGLIST 2023
DAY 11: Breeding (tbt maybe isn't that much breeding, but I let myself get carried away by Remus Fucking Lupin)
Title of the one shot (and song in it): I'm so excited by The pointer sisters
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Remus could swear that he had never hated you as much as he did at that moment.
You and young Lupin had never been big fans of each other, as you both competed to be your year's brightest witch and wizard, but for some time the hungry little wolf in him had begun to see more than just a rival of wits in you: prey.
Each time he could not help but dwell on your hair, your smile (unfortunately never directed at him), your wonderful and magnetic eyes, and then wander over aspects that made his thoughts less pure. At night he dreamed of being able to touch your breasts, his most secret and darkest desire, being able to kiss, taste and bite them, almost putting his signature on you, so that everyone, even that idiot Ravenclaw of your year knew that no one but him could touch you; or he dreamed of leaving a trail of kisses from your belly down to your belly, to your thighs, which he imagined were so soft and sweet, until a scream from Sirius woke him up in the morning, telling him he was late, again. Sometimes in the dullest classes he marveled at imagining what it would be like to come inside you, to possess you in such a primitive, animal way; to see his cum dripping from your pussy as his fingers brought it back inside you, into your womb, where it belonged according to him.
Part of Remus knew that he had no right to impose himself on you in that possessive way, but somehow the wolf inside him disagreed, having decided that you were by far the most captivating and attractive prey he had ever seen.
Despite everything, however, young Lupin had always managed to make sure that he did not give in to his instincts, well at least until this evening.
The Hufflepuffs had decided to throw another party, to take the pressure off the young students in this exam-filled period, and of course his friends had decided that Remus absolutely had to attend to tell them "to relax a bit," but Sirius, as they were getting ready to arrive at the place where the party was being held, had looked at Remus and raising his eyebrows in an endearing way, with the look of someone who knows more than he should, had said that he knew for a fact that you would be at the party. Remus had never wanted to punch him as much as he did at that exact moment, but the thought that had grafted itself into him of you, dancing in the middle of a dance floor, not in the usual clothes he saw you in class in, but freer and more yourself, had been enough to make him close his mouth in fear that an involuntary moan would escape his lips.
But his imagination had not even come close to reality.
He had been sitting in an armchair for two hours now, stiff and panting, while next to him two are making out as if he were not next to them, but Remus cares nothing about what is happening next to him, the only thing he can focus on is you.
Right now you've climbed on top of one of the tables in the center of the room with your friend, and you're dancing one attached to the other, moving your pelvis in time to the music. You are wearing a simple black T-shirt with a V-neckline, ending just above your belly button and highlighting your breasts, which made young Lupin say a long string of swear words when he first saw you when he entered the room, hoping that like a spell they might change what you are wearing into cute, soft pajamas with Christmas puppets, or make the painful erection he was feeling go away. A simple skirt, on the other hand, moved in time with your hips, showing off your legs, neither too much nor too little. It was shocking to Remus how on an occasion like this you had managed to maintain the same elegance and class you show in class when you get into an argument with him about who is right, in fact he almost seemed to see the same stubbornness and confidence in your eyes at this moment as you downed another sip of your drink, which you had managed not to spill despite everything despite continuing to move.
"If you take a picture of her, you'll be able to look at it again tonight you know, when you can't help but-" Sirius whispers in his ear, waking Remus from the trance-like state he had fallen into.
"We get it Padfoot, you don't need to go on." James stops him, as he gets a glimpse of the young wolf from behind their friend's back.
Remus rolls his eyes, only to look in his hands at the drink that he has now finished, and without saying anything to his friends he turns and goes to the table where the bottles of alcohol are.
He pauses for a moment to look at which of the proposed spirits is the strongest, to make sure that he also forgets his name, as well as the sinful thoughts your body brings him.
However, everything changes in a matter of seconds.
The young wolf has finally identified what he wants to drink when a body pulls up, still moving in time to the music. Remus turns to glare evilly at anyone who has bumped into him at such an unhappy and difficult time in his life, when he sees the culmination of all his problems: you.
He can't help but look at you enraptured even more than before, now with the possibility of being able to notice up close all the details that had eluded him a few minutes ago; besides given the difference in height, now your V-neckline offers him a view of your breasts unseen before, so much so that he has to restrain himself from running into the nearest bathroom and throwing cold water on his face, and more.
Your hair reflects the moonlight, which comes from a nearby window, and at that moment Remus realizes a truth that had escaped him just before: in three days it would be a full moon.
Not understanding how something so important could have slipped his mind, he realizes that all last week he had been too busy cursing your name or moaning it at night to realize that the moon was changing night after night.
You are the only thing he can now understand and think about, and this terrifies him, but at the same time makes him feel good.
Coming to her senses, she realizes that caught up in the rhythm of the music and the alcohol you practically danced on him. Lupin feeling a presence in his pants becoming more and more obvious and the wolf inside him getting louder and louder, decides that he cannot stay a second longer in this room, so he hurries out of the Hufflepuff common room, to find himself thus in the corridors. He begins to run, not going too far, but far enough to still hear the background music, thinking he is alone, when he hears footsteps.
Remus turns and sees you, leaning forward trying to regain the breath you had lost in running after him. Again the sight of your cleavage is enough to make him say a sequence of swear words under his breath as you pull yourself up and look at him.
"What are you doing here?" Remus asks, in an almost mean tone, yet unable to hide a note of longing as he tries to send you away by being rude to you.
"Your friends looked pretty bad to me, and they asked me to see if you were okay when you ran away from the party." You reply in the same acid tone he had used, before bursting out laughing. "What an idiot I am. I thought that at least this time if I showed you kindness, you would see that I'm not a bitch like you like to paint me."
"Why do you care so much that I think so highly of you?" He asks, intrigued, as he mentally slaps himself for the question he just asked.
"Because you are a person that everyone esteems and appreciates, and it is an honor to be appreciated by you in this damn school, and I never understood what I did to deserve the treatment I get from you. Do you really hate me for a couple of assignments and lessons? Are you really that arrogant?" You ask as you take a step toward him, but the sight of you so angry and panting with your hair messed up is enough to make him go wild, imagining you in the same condition, but this time because of him in a different way: under him and panting from his kisses as he makes you cry out in pleasure with his member. Remus takes a step back to catch his breath as he tries with all his might not to jump on you, and to banish his thoughts with images of pink-bearded Dumbledore dancing to a Christmas song. You, however, misinterpret that step backward, and respond with another step forward toward him.
"What more do I have to do than that Lupin? I'm laying myself bare before you, what more do I have to do Remus? Tell me."
Upon hearing his name fall from your fleshy lips, a short-circuit occurs in Remus's brain, who, no longer able to have control over his body, pounces on you like a predator who manages to finally get his fangs on his prey.
You initially don't know how to react when you feel his mouth on yours, but after a few seconds you return the kiss with equal passion. Your hands go into his brown hair, pulling it, while at the same time you press his face even harder against yours. Instead, his hands travel the way from your hips to your butt to your thighs, where with a nimble move Remus pulls you up as if you weighed nothing, while your back collides with the cold stone wall, enough to make you moan into the boy's mouth.
So you stay endless minutes kissing, in that lost hallway, while underneath the music seems to give you the tempo with which your tongues must move.
Then Remus pauses, trying to catch his breath, leaning his forehead against yours, still trying to keep at bay the wolf inside him that was clawing at the door to get out.
"You're still in time to run away baby. If you don't leave now, I don't know if I can guarantee that I can stop another time." Remus whispers a few inches from your lips as you too catch your breath. You look at him confused, not understanding why he sees what you were doing, or what you might soon be doing, as a terrible thing you would like to run away from instead of something you have been running toward for years.
And instead of answering him, she starts humming the song that had just started at the party.
"Tonight's the night we're gonna make it happen-" Whispers kissing his forehead. "-tonight we'll put all other things aside-" You continue kissing his eyes. "-give in this time and show me some affection-" You sing as you kiss his cheeks, hearing him moan, almost as if it is a pain what you are doing, even though you know for sure from the erection pressing against your belly that it is not. "-We're goin' for those pleasures in the night.-" You say finally kissing him on the lips, lightly brushing against his before continuing to sing. "-I want to love you, feel you, wrap myself around you, I want to squeeze you, please you, I just can't get enough, and if you move real slow, I'll let it go-" now, however, it is he who begins his attack with slow kisses from your ear to your mouth, not even touching it though before moving down to your neck.
"-I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it, I'm about to lose control and I think I like it, I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it, and I know, I know, I know, I know I want you." You finish singing the refrain panting as he finishes leaving marks all the way down your neck to the hollow, leaving almost his mark, wanting everyone to know who was lucky enough to have you in his arms and on his lips.
"Do you still have doubts Lupin, or should I go back to my room and do for myself what you haven't given me yet? Or maybe I could go back to the party and find someone, maybe Sirius-" You try to provoke him, but your words die in your throat as one of his hands tightens around your neck.
"Don't ever try to mention another guy's name at the moment I'm about to fuck you, or next time not only will I leave all these bites on your neck but I'll also put a nice collar on you." He states in a hard, confident voice, enough to make you tremble, as you feel a warm sensation creating in your lower abdomen. "You'd like that wouldn't you, baby? A nice collar that tells everyone where you belong?" He continues, realizing that he has touched the right keys.
You gasp and search within yourself for the strength to respond to him.
"Lupin, I swear if-" You try to say, but you can't finish.
"Oh my baby, are we off to a bad start? What's my name?" He interrupts you, tightening his grip on your neck a little more.
"Remus, please Remus I need you."
"What do you need baby?" He asks, as with a sly grin he watches you wiggle under his gaze, as if your body is on fire.
"I need you to fuck me. Now. There's a broom cupboard nearby, no one ever comes by here." You propose in hopes of soon alleviating the feeling of longing you feel.
"And here I thought all you did was keep your pretty little nose in the books all the time." He taunts you, as always with your legs wrapped around his waist and one arm wrapped behind your back and the other on your neck, he leads you toward the place you suggested just now.
"And now I find out that instead you are nothing but a little whore, ready to get fucked in the broom closet. Don't worry baby, I'll prove to you that once again I'm better at it than you are."
"Oh yeah and how?" You manage to say, once the door to the cramped little room, capable of holding only the two of you standing, is closed behind you. Dust gets into your nostrils, and you don't even want to think about how many bugs there must be on these walls, but the only thing you care about now is the man between your legs, and what he might do.
"You'll learn to recite my name better than any spell they've ever taught you, and I know for a fact that you'll appreciate its result much more, I'd say it's nothing short of ecstatic." He replies, before venturing back to your lips to devour you as if it were his last meal on earth, and he hadn't eaten in weeks.
You feel his warm hands settle on your breasts, and then reach to the edge of the T-shirt you are wearing and slip it off, leaving before his eyes a view of your chest, covered only by your bra.
"Merlin, how I love your boobs." Remus confesses, before moving on to leave open-mouthed kisses and bites on all the skin he finds available, then quickly and surely removing your bra in less time than you realize.
Now that your hair is uncovered and in contact with the cold night air, it stiffens, and the young wolf is not slow to take one between his lips and tease the other with his hand, until your hands are violently embedded in his hair and your moans grow louder and louder.
"Please, Remus, I need more." You beg him in a whisper, so you feel one of his hands rest on your hip, while the other descends to your panties, and his mouth continues to torture your right hair, with the constancy with which he wants to prove he is better than you in class. He lowers one of your legs by resting it on the floor, so that access to his coveted treasure is easier. His hand grazes your pussy from above your panties, sending a shiver down your entire back as you gasp through your lips, resting your head on his shoulder.
With a gentle gesture he moves his fingers between your panties and the most sensitive and delicate spot on your body, making you gasp.
"God baby, I didn't think you were so wet." He comments, making you blush. "Didn't you want more baby? I swear I won't stop until you beg me to stop." He whispers in your ear, pulling away from your nipple for a moment, then attaching the other one, leaving the one from before wet from his saliva to the night breeze, thus making you shiver with pleasure again and getting you even wetter.
One of his long, slender fingers enters you, teasing you, before adding a second. He moves his fingers with agility and confidence, like those of a musician performing his favorite piece that he has been playing for years now. He touches inside you in all the right places, making you moan with pleasure.
That delicious torture goes on for minutes that seem like hours.
Your lips are on the verge of splitting from how much you are biting them, when you feel coming like a wave the orgasm to which your gestures are leading you.
"Remus I'm going to-"
"Cum." He says simply, looking you fixedly in the eyes, from his full height. You stare gazing at those wonderful chocolate-colored crystal orbs, illuminated by the gentle moonlight filtering through the cracks in the door, when you can no longer stop the inevitable in the face of his oh-so-dry command. You reach the pinnacle of pleasure, and it is as if for a moment you can touch the sky with your finger. Your soul goes out of your body for a moment, until you open your eyes again, gasping and he looks at you with a satisfied look.
"And that's just the beginning baby, you still have to come on my cock." He comments, as with a lightning-fast gesture he unbuckles his underpants and pulls down his panties, just enough to make his member come out. You remain mute staring at his cock for a moment, noting its size: it wasn't the first time you had fucked someone, but none of the guys could match Remus, that was for sure.
"See anything you like baby?" He asks you sarcastically, as you feel your pussy getting even wetter than it already is.
"Maybe, but you still have a promise to keep so you'd better get to work." You retort, before being silenced by his lips. With his hands he directs his cock toward your entrance, then puts it all the way inside you without warning, leaving you breathless with your back pressed against the door. You feel him inside you in places you didn't even think he could reach, as he stays still to give you a minimum of time to adjust to his size.
"Oh baby, don't worry, I'm a man of my word. You will walk out of here that I will have branded you with my cum from inside, so that everyone will know for sure that you are mine." He whispers in your ear before starting to move. He comes almost completely out of you, leaving only the tip in, then comes back in with a dry, sure thump a couple of times, to start moving faster and faster and harder. Part of you wonders if he really means what he said about coming inside you to place his ownership over you, and at the very thought you can't help but tighten the walls of your pussy around him.
"Do you like the idea? Of having my cum inside you dripping down your thighs, letting everyone know you're mine?" He says and you can't help but gasp, the pleasure clouding your mind. "Shit, I can already picture you all proud and strutting walking down the school hallways, no panties on, while everyone stares at you and in your lap all my cum. Who knows maybe I could even get you pregnant." Remus continues, as you moan his name louder and louder, hearing what he says. The young wolf can swear that by now the beast inside him has become uncontainable, the only thing he can think about is coming inside you and making sure you have her pups, to bite you and let everyone know you are uniquely hers, in such an animal way that he is surprised you are not fucking in the woods, just like two wild creatures, since you have now become that: pleasure-seeking animals to survive.
"Remus, come inside me. I'm close to coming again, please." You beg him, after a few minutes have passed in silence, too busy fucking each other to talk.
"First you baby then I will make sure you can have my puppies, however, first you have to squeeze that beautiful pussy you have around my cock. Come for me baby."
And at those words you can't help but come one more time. Your head becomes light, as if floating, as your vision darkens. Your pussy squeezes hard and in rhythm with Remus's cock, which stimulated by your orgasm goes to meet his, letting all his seed pour into you in long, powerful spurts.
You remain still and connected for a few minutes before Remus begins to laugh. You look at him confused and tired, ready for yet another joke from him at you and even more personal teasing after such an intimate moment, when he leaves you a light kiss on your cheek and asks, "Do you really think I would ever be able to hate you, I was convinced you couldn't stand even the sight of me."
Smile in turn as you look at him, before you also speak.
"Well apparently neither of them is as smart in the end as they think they are I would say."
Bonus (I think I definitely have a problem with bonuses)
Sirius looks at his friend, sitting next to him on the settee, as he sees you re-enter holding Remus's hand at the party, now decidedly calmer than an hour and a half ago, when both of you had left without a trace and without telling anyone where you were going. The two of you approach the liquor table, laughing and joking as you look into each other's eyes, with a smile that says a lot about your nocturnal activities in the hallways, though only to those who are able to pick up on the signs.
Sirius and James seeing that exchange look at each other and jumping to their feet scream in unison:
"He did it!" Turning many loving couples around, including their friend and you, watching them confusedly do a dance of joy between bodies of boys asleep from exhaustion and alcohol, not knowing that this night would be the end of you, as they would forever use it against you as an argument in every speech to prove that two such smart people can be, by far, the dumbest.
TAGLIST
@digitalhearts @yomomsgf @samanddeansannoyingsis @minkiles @forsiriussake @thedogisontopofyhecarmom @estrellademiel @ash04w3 @shitidksstuff @ohemgeewhat @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @kidsaproblem @that1nerd20 @the-house-of-rose-and-ember @hi-my-name-is-riley @morganalatina21 @nightfiress @shodowbane09 @theyluvtrinity21 @harleycao @starsval @shhdontlookk @titinkaaa @sapphire118 @xbugsyx @newtdumbledoorstarksoot @holb32 @afcnds @deanwinchestersgirl87 @aunicornmademedoit @AlohaStitch0626 @biahz1
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mxchidreams · 6 months ago
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"The Place Where It Happened."
Was thinking about how Snape, as a teacher, has to work in the exact place where he has had his worst experiences : ^ )) have this thingy!
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futurecorps3 · 2 years ago
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Sirius black with a busty reader
𝐒𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐲!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
Masterlist<3
MINORS STAY AWAY I'LL BLOCK EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU, THIS IS +18!!! See also… All marauders versions in my marauders masterlist<3
I want you all to picture me giggling and kicking my feet while writing this 'cause this is my main hoe 🤭💗
-BUYS. YOU. NECKLACES.
-I'll die on this hill dear god
-Pretty silver chains, golden necklaces with expensive charms, you name it! HE SPOILS YOU SM BECAUSE THOSE ARE EXPENSIVE ASF TOO?????
-Yk that good house of Black money n shit hehe
-Loves seeing how it sometimes gets in the middle of your tits and pulls it out himself, definitely touching you more than necessary
-"Wait, I'm almost there doll" "Do you need to bury your face in my boobs to get that crow charm out?” you deadpan with a smile, looking down at the pretty boy, feeling his nose dig in like he’s on a treasure hunt
-“Helps my visibility” yeah visibility my ass he loves your pretty tits
-He’s the “Wear what you want, I can fight” type of guy <3 (all of them are!!!)
-Will and has gotten into fights if someone’s staring and making you uncomfortable. No one disrespects his girl like that:)
-L E A T H E R T O P S
-You both wear leather tops that show your belly and chests, matching ones ofc!!!
-Remus loves sweaters, James loves crop tops
-Sirius lives for seeing you in lacy bras AND his leather jacket:(
-Boy gets heart eyes, jaw to the floor, drooling, screaming (ofc the boys mock him for it<3)
-“You’ll catch flies with that mouth, Pads” Remus smirks, watching Sirius watch you having a conversation with some Ravenclaw girl as you pour more fire whiskey on your glass “Shut it Moons” he replies, dreamy voice too entranced to even comprehend the chaos the party around him was causing
-Speaking of parties, he loves doing vodka shots from your boobs.
-Ogles them sm and compliments them all the fucking time!!!!!
-He’s shameless about it as well
-"Your tits look amazing" with a lovesick expression on his face like he genuinely loves them so so so much
-He knows his friends stare and he doesn’t mind as long as you don’t either. Boosts his ego quite a lot tbh!!
-If you feel uncomfortable, he’ll definitely do something about it! The boys would never make you uneasy, of course. They look away to be respectful, but those small glances have Sirius all cocky
-Having said THAT…
-Marks u up <3
-I’m talking love bites, scratches, hickeys
-Makes sure to make them on a regular basis so they don’t fade out with time
-Yes the boys have walked in on him marking you many times
-“Fucking hell Padfoot just lock the bloody door” James groans while covering his eyes since he knew damn well his best friend wasn’t stopping. “Hey Prongs” you giggle “Hi darling” he says, still not looking at you guys
-“Could you tell your pig boyfriend to lock the door next time?” “ITS AN ART YOU WOULDNT GET IT!!!” he yells, but the sound comes out muffled and barely understandable. “We’ll try” you muse, giggling slightly as the other boy left the room
-Won’t do any of these if he knows it bothers you!! Respectful legend <3
-So, summing it up
-He absolutely adores your boobs, is very much shameless about it and will not tolerate bullshit from anyone <3
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your-average-toast-enjoyer · 2 months ago
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Does anyone else remember all your greatest obsessions like eras? Like if someone is telling you about an event and you remember what were you obsessed with at the time?
I think I remember my obsessions since 1st grade and maybe before that
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mollymaywrite · 24 days ago
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James And Lily Potter <3
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loving-and-dreaming · 9 months ago
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messy r.l x reader
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remus lupin x reader
you are messy. remus is messy. yet somehow it works. 
Word Count: 1.1k
a/n: please be kind. I haven't written in a year and I didn't reread it so there are TONS of mistakes. It just came to me so I wanted to write it down
This party is the last place you wanted to be right now, but Lily can be very persuasive. Looking at your beautiful redheaded friend and all the other people at the party you do not feel like you fit in. You are not by any means ugly, but you are not a hot girl. You are not a soft girl. You are just you. And most days that is enough, but sometimes, just sometimes, it doesn't feel like it is. And that is precisely why you begged Lily to let you stay home, but she was having none of that. Therefore you have staked claim on the very ugly, but yours for the night, couch. Your couch, yes yours, which you have glued yourself to, seems way too inviting to leave, yet the need to get a new drink has a much louder call. Heaving yourself off the couch, you head to the kitchen. On the way to the kitchen to bump into a boy you have seen around who reminds you of sunshine and books(maybe because his face is always in a book). However your need for a drink outweighs the desire to say hi. Moving around the kitchen like it's yours simply to make yourself a drink and get back to your couch as soon as possible. Your trek back to your very lovely couch is interrupted when you spot a very cute guy with tattoos and black hair. He stole your spot! How dare he… I mean let's be real, that was your spot! Sticking your tongue out at him, you turn on your heels and head to the only other place you can think of. The bathroom. At least it is quiet in the bathroom. The craving to be away from the noise and a place to be where you know no one is going to be, you head to the upstairs bathroom. Opening the door, the state of the bathroom, shocks you. It is not the typical bathroom you would see in a party, no one throwing up, no one making out, no trash all over the place. Instead it is an immaculately clean bathroom, sending up a silent thank you, you hop on the bathroom counter. Since you can no longer hear the music you take matters into your own hands and play some music from your phone. Not in the mood for loud obnoxious music, you settle on your soft playlist. The kind of music that makes you feel like you are floating on clouds. Eyes closed, drink in hand, body swaying you start to enjoy yourself. Yet all that is stolen from you as the door creaks open. How could you be so dumb that you forgot to lock the door, rolling your eyes and cursing to yourself you open your eyes to see who has interrupted your paradise. You get ready to give some attitude, you are at a party you didn't even want to go to, your couch was stolen by some hot guy, and now someone finds you in your bathroom paradise. The audacity. All of that is on your tongue when you see sunshine and books boy. “Sorry to interrupt you, love. But I need an escape for a moment. Could I crash your solo party?” How his words are literal sunshine as well is beyond you, yet here you are. Eyes open, mouth ajar just staring at him.
The sound of a lighter opening is what snaps you out of your thoughts. “Um yeah sure, as long as you don't mind the music I needed a moment too.”
“Are you here on your own violation, or friends?” “Ah I would be here because my lovely friend, and roommate, does not think laying in bed is an adequate plan for a friday night. You? Friends or your choice?”
“Seeing as it is my house, I feel I could answer that one of two ways. However I will say that it was not my first choice of plans tonight. Curse of having roommates I suppose.”
With wide eyes you slide off the counter and prepare to leave, “Oh no. Is this your bathroom? I just picked the one farthest away from the noise, I am so sorry. Let me get out of your hair.” However your plan to run away was crushed when you felt a hand on your wrist, and my goodness how does his skin feel like sunshine??
His soft voice floats through your head, “Wait before you go at least dance with me, I loved the song that was just playing.” He uses his grip on you to turn your body around and join his.
With a blushing face and quiet voice you ask, “Can I at least know your name? I keep calling you sunshine, and as cute as it is, I'm sure it’s not your name.”
“I kind of like sunshine, but it is Remus. Now I need to know yours, although I'm okay calling you what I've been calling you in my head.”
You go to tell him your name but stop. With pink dusting your cheeks you ask, “What have you been calling me?”
“Well angel seemed fitting” he says with a shrug. With a roll of your eyes you whisper your name. Swaying back and forth in sunshine-i mean remus’- arms feels like a dream, but like always dreams are not meant to go on forever. Remus leans down and whispers in your ear “Would you like to get out of here?” No dream has been shattered as fast as this. Not only did you finally have sunshine boy(as he will forever be nicknamed by you and lily) in your arms he goes and says some dumb shit like that. Clearly your face showed how upset you felt about that statement because the next thing you know he is panicking “No! Wait. no! Not like that. Oh my gosh, this is what I get for trying to be smooth. I meant to literally get out of the bathroom and go on a walk outside. It is a nice night and clearly neither of us want to be here. Oh look at that I am rambling.” He clearly is now nervous, scratching the back of his neck and looking anywhere but you.
It takes everything in you not to laugh at him, you can only imagine how he feels. So instead with a small smile and hand on his arm you say “it's okay, sunshine. I'm just as messy as you. Why don’t we get out of here?”
Since then neither of you have looked back. He is your sunshine and you are his angel. You are messy. He is messy. But together you work wonderfully.
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oneluckygoose · 5 months ago
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Remus: You know the worst part about hating yourself is that you don’t think you deserve to be loved and you don’t expect people to, yet it still hurts like a bitch when they don’t
James:
Peter:
Sirius:
Lily:
Lily: Remus no
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Sirius Black X Reader: The older brother pt2
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Took me forever but here it finally is part 2 to The Older brother
Part 1
Summary: You've found yourself intrigued by your friends older brother little did you know he's taken an interest in you as well.
Warnings: unwanted contact, violence, punching, cursing, dirty talk, smut, creampie, 69, cum eating, penetration (p in v), sub/dom(kind of), face fucking, oral (m& f), roughish sex. Not proof read (got lazy)
Word Count: 2K
Ten minutes felt like an eternity. 
You and Sirius had gone your separate ways, each of you trying to pretend that everything was fine. You were failing. Rather miserably in fact. You kept tugging at the hem of your dress anxiously. You’d been the one who started it but Sirius seemed to have a larger effect on you then you expected. Your thighs rub together in desperation for some sort of relief. You glance at the clock in the corner of the room. The one that had magically appeared the second Sirius had whispered in your ears. The room of requirements truly was wonderful.
You watched the clock hands move slowly. Had a minute always taken this long to pass or were you just so desperate that time had started to feel like it had slowed down. You made your way back to the drink table grabbing a shot of firewhiskey and throwing it down your throat. You glanced around the room, eyes searching for Sirius. Instead of catching sight of the black haired boy your eyes meet those of a slytherin one you recognized. He was Reggie's friend no doubt but you couldn’t remember his name for the life of you. Apparently your unyielding gaze had been interpreted as interest causing the boy to make his way to you.
“Bloody hell.”
You cursed yourself for your lingering gaze. Now you would have to deal with a couple minutes of awkward conversation and quite possibly a strong rejection. You raised your head when you heard your name slip from the boy's lips giving him a small smile. 
“How are you doing? Haven’t seen you in a bit.”
“I’m doing alright and you?”
What was his name? It’s on the tip of your tongue yet you can’t seem to remember. The brunette slytherin seems to realize your lack of recognition, letting out a laugh.
“You have no idea who I am , do you?”
“No…sorry.”
“It’s alright. Give me a chance to remind you.”
He moves closer to you, his hands finding your waist, his breath fanning over your face as he moves closer to yours. It’s in that moment that it hits you who this is.
“Barty.”
Despite your lips moving to form Barty's name it’s not your voice that calls it out. You turn towards the familiar sound of Sirius' voice, your body relaxing at the sight of him. 
“What do you want Black?”
“What are you doing?”
“What's it to you?”
“Listen mate, I like fun as much as the next guy but the lady doesn't seem to be enjoying herself. Let her go will you.”
Barty let out a drunken laugh, allowing you to smell the whiskey in his breath. You flinch away from him, trying to get away but his hands grip onto you harder. Sirius watches you squirm his hand clenching into a fist.
“I’m gonna ask one more  time. Let her go.”
“Or what? What are you gonna-”
Before he could even finish speaking your first made contact with his face, causing him to release you as he stumbled backwards. Barty put his hand to his cheek, eyes widening when he saw the blood coming from his busted lip.
“You bitch!”
Sirius' shoulders tensed at the boy's words, preparing himself to knock his lights out but he didn’t need to. The second Barty called you a bitch you've reached for your wand pulling it out in a flash and yelling “Petrificus Totalus”. Barty froze in place his eyes following you as moved closer to him so that your lips were near his ear.
“Pull a stunt like that one more time Crouch and freezing you won’t be the worst thing I come up with.”
You turned around flipping Barty the finger as you made your way to Sirius. The older boy grinned at you.
“That was-”
“Impressive?”
“Hot.”
You swallowed dry at Sirius flirty tone, images of your closet randevu flashing in your mind. You grabbed his hand, dragging him through the crowd towards the door. You could hear someone call your name but you didn’t care. There was only one thing on your mind and you needed to get away from everyone before your desire got to you.
The second you made it into Sirius dorm your hand was on him. You had no idea where the sudden confidence had come from but you weren’t complaining. And neither was Sirius. He’d never admit it to anyone but seeing someone take charge in the bedroom made him incredibly horny. Sirius hadn’t managed to get a single word out since you entered his dorm, far too busy jamming his tongue into your mouth to be able to speak. It was only when you sank to your knees in front of him that he muttered out a breathy “Oh Merlin”. He watched you struggle against his jean buttons, cursing the chains he wore on the belt loops every time they clinked against your rings. It was cute how hot and bothered you were. Sirius enjoyed seeing you like this. It was a lot different than you normally act: always shy and quiet. And now here you were, glancing up at Sirius with the most lustful eyes as you stuffed your palm down his pants.
“Who are you?”
“Anyone you want me to be, baby.”
“Fuck-oh bloody hell love.”
“Gee Siri haven’t even touched you properly and you're already whimpering for me.”
Sirius groaned at your words, his hips thrusting forward. You smiled at him, pulling your hands out from his pants so you could take them off. Before you got to free Sirius dick his hand latched onto your wrist. You turn your head to the side as you look up at him.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing love, it’s just….”
Sirius stopped for a moment trying to gather his thoughts. Was he really about to ask you this? He feared you’d be weirded out by his desires, it being your first time together and all. But the way you were looking up at him with lustful eyes as you rubbed your thighs together for some friction made him forget his fears.
“I want to taste you.”
“You can after i’m done i’ll let-”
“At the same time.”
“Sorry what?”
“Gonna make me spell it out hum?”
Sirius let out a laugh, shaking his head as he closed his eyes. Once he opened them again the playful demeanor was gone, replaced by complete and utter lust.
“I wanna fuck you with my tongue while you choke on my cock. Got it love?”
You nodded at Sirius, mouth parting slightly as you tried to steady your heartbeat.
“Well? Are you down?”
“Fuck yeah.”
Sirius pulled you up by the chin, his hands moving to remove your dress in deseparation as his lips moved against yours. The two of you tugged at each other's clothes, removing everything that would get in the way of your fun. Once you were both satisfied you broke apart the kiss, each observing the other's body for a moment. You never get over the sight before you. Sirius Black, Hogwarts notorious flirt, completely bare before you. Your eyes skimmed over his pale skin, eyes falling on the small burn scars littered here and there. You didn’t need to ask what they were. Reggie had told you enough about his family for you to know who was responsible for Sirius' scars. Sirius eyes moved over your bare body, his gaze conturing the beauty of your curves. Beautiful, he thought. Beautiful inside and out. You moved slowly towards him, your lips finding a scar near his collarbone and placing a kiss on it. Sirius hands found their way to your hips, squeezing softly.
“You are so pretty.”
“So are you Siri.”
“I know.”
You swatted at Sirius shoulders as you laughed, nuzzling into his neck.
“I meant it, you idiot.”
“Me too princess. And now I'm gonna prove it to you.”
Sirius walked over to the bed, laying down comfortably before motioning his finger in your direction.
“Come take a seat darling.”
You did as he asked, moving towards the bed. Once you got close enough you climbed onto the mattress, placing your thighs on either side of Sirius face. He latched his hands onto your legs, pulling your pussy flush against his nose.
“Sirius-oh-merlin.”
“Haven't even started and you’re already moaning my name.”
“Shut it you cocky bastard.”
“Cocky’s right. Bastard ah not so much.”
You moved your hand over Sirius dick , stroking it a bit before sinking it into your mouth. Sirius could cum right now, the feeling of your warm mouth on his dick and the feeling of your pussy rutting against his nose making him feel like he’d died and go to heaven. But the night was still young and he planed on lasting more than a fucking teenager. Not that you were gonna make it easy for him.
It wasn’t like you were having an easy time either. Each time you gave Siri a good suck his face lifted a bit causing his nose to bump into your clit. After a while of sucking you moved your hand to fondle Sirius' balls making him cum in a matter of seconds. You followed close after, your hands digging into Sirius thighs as you covered his face in your juices. Despite the soreness in your thighs you managed to manoeuvre yourself off of Sirius face. You laid next to him as you both tried to catch your breaths. Sirius' arm found its way around your body tugging you into his chest. You nuzzled into him sighing happily.
“That good hum?”
“Been a while since i came like that.”
“Seems like you’ve been with some mediocre lads.”
“Yeah I guess. Most boys only care about their own pleasure.”
“Yeah, only real men know how to treat a woman.”
“Oh yeah? Is that what you are, Siri, a man?”
Sirius passed a finger across his face collecting your juices and stuffing his fingers in his mouth. You watched with wonder as the older boy sucked his fingers clean.
“Well I'm the one who's got your cum all over my face aren’t I?”
You give him a cheeky smile, nibbling on the inside of your check as you lean to whisper into his ear.
“Want me to cum somewhere else?”
You reached down to Sirius semi hard cock, fingers skimming over it teasingly.
“Careful kitten, that's a dangerous game you're playing.”
“I think I can handle it.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Before you could blink Sirius pulled you under him, his arms caging you. You moaned as Sirius hand found its way between your legs sticking two digits inside your pussy with ease.
“So wet for me baby.”
“Ah Siri!”
“That's it baby. Gotta get you nice and ready for my cock.”
You clenched around Siris fingers at his words, making him smirk.
“That's what you want right? Want me to fuck you good?”
“Please Siri, I want it so bad.”
“Okay baby, I'll give it to you. But only if you promise to be a good girl.”
“I promise.”
Sirius sank into your cunt, your walls sucking his dick in with ease. He groaned, resting his forehead against yours.
“Merlin, you're warm.”
“Ah fuck-Siri-you’re so big.”
He’d been told that before but for some reason hearing those words come out of your mouth turned some sort of animalistic instinct in him. Sirius started moving against you, his speed picking up with each moan you let out. The wet sound of your pussy filled the room. Sirius was sure that when the boys came back the dorm would still reek of sex but he didn’t give a shit. Right now the only thing he wanted to do was blow his load. Into your perfect pussy to be exact.
“I’m close- ah uh- need to pull out soon.”
“Don-Ah ughhh-don’t….spell-fuck Siri!-i’ll use the spell.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah yeah cum inside.”
Sirius seed filled your cunt as he reached his orgasm, the feeling of your walls tightening as you gushed over his dick making him let out a guttural moan. He sagged into your body, his lips finding your collarbone as you came down from your high. Sirius doubted that this would be the last round. In fact if it was up to him he’d never let you out of his bed. Funnily enough you felt the same way.
Who would have thought falling for your best friend's brother would land you in his bed. Not that you were complaining.
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gelly-fsh · 7 months ago
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When Regulus was a baby, wrapped in a fuzzy blanket and sleeping in his nursery, Sirius got into the habit of sneaking into Regulus room and watch him sleep.
Sirius was a child himself, just 4 years old but feeling decades older than he was, decades older than he should. It was a double-edged sword, having a child so opinionated, but it was nothing some well placed curses wouldn't fix.
Sirius never saw something wrong to it before. Yes, it hurted, yes it may him cry a lot, but Maman was supposed to love him, so maybe her love was supposed to hurt, it was supposed to sting, it was supposed to make him afraid.
But then Regulus came to his life.
It's a bit surreal, how ones perception of the world can change because of a baby, a tiny thing that cannot express something out of its basic needs, but Regulus was a life altering event in Sirius life.
At first, Sirius thought the constant fear he felt when their mom took his brother in her arms was just pent-up emotion from being a big brother, or misplaced jealousy, maybe that was why Sirius always had to make sure Regulus was safe in his nursery every night, just mere curiosity.
He understood rather quickly that it was not, the feeling was just plain fear, and he realized why.
Sirius may have been okay with their parents treating him poorly, he may have made up excuses for their actions in his mind, mixing pain and love together to make himself believe Maman cared for him, but he was not okay with Regulus suffering the same.
The pain, the loneliness, the fear, his little brother didn't deserve to suffer even a grain of it, so he was going to protect him in any way he could, no matter what.
When he was up and inside Regulus' cradle, Sirius felt the urge to take his hand, a hand smaller than his, but equally chubby. Unconsciously, Regulus firmly grabbed Sirius' finger and made a content noise afterwards, making Sirius smile softly at him.
"I will have to be the Black's heir, but you, Reggie, will be just mine" he whispered softly. Sirius didn't know why, but his eyes started to water, a ray of emotions that drowned him while he watched his little brother sleep.
He started to feel drowsy, lulled to sleep by the peace of knowing his brother was safe for another day, and he went to sleep there, Regulus hand still gripping his own.
Come morning, there would be shouts, there would be reprimands about Sirius carelessness and a meal that would not make it to Sirius belly as a punishment for being so reckless with the baby, there would even be a curse or two. But tonight?
Tonight was just this moment, just him, just Reggie, just them.
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pxrty-crxsher · 7 months ago
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mxchidreams · 4 months ago
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Daffodil Dreams
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Close ups!
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futurecorps3 · 2 years ago
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Hiii !! I love your writing ❤️. If your comfortabke can i ask for marauders comforting reader since they do stuff for others but forget to take care about themselves?
𝐍𝐞𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞
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Masterlist<3
Summary: They'll always have each other<3. Pairing: poly!marauders x fem!reader Warnings: Reader stops eating, kind of scolding from the marauders but like in a nice way, mentions of being sick. Lemme know if I missed any!! Word Count: 1.5K Requested: Yes
A/N: Made this poly!marauders love, hope u don't mind! Thank you so much, hope you enjoy<3.
Since they met, there was no waking moment where Y/N wasn't offering to do something to help life make even the slightest bit easier for people. Not because she was a people pleaser. No, not at all. She was just that kind. Sirius heard Remus say once that "acts of service" was her "love language".
He demanded to know what exactly that meant and the conclusion was that that's the way their girl expressed her love. And that was okay. James loved to craft little handmade gifts for his boyfriends and girlfriend. Remus tried to spend as much time as he could with them. Sirius wanted nothing but to cuddle with his loves. Y/N/N loved helping them.
Even her friends, too! Lily needed a book from the library but didn't have time to fetch it? Y/N could get it for her. Regulus was having a hard time and needed his comfort food? She'll cook it, it's okay. Her boyfriends loved how sweet she was with it as well, a caring soul that expressed her love through helping.
Until it backfires.
Remus was the first one to notice, ever the observer. "Y'okay dove?" he whispered, looking down at her figure resting on his arm, almost dozing off. That would be a normal occurrence if their history of magic lesson was a bit too boring for her liking, and he'd let her sleep through it since it was one of the classes Y/N excelled in without even trying.
Not the case with potions, and she always tried her best. So yes, this was odd. "Just a bit tired s'all" the girl mumbled back, trying to get up but inevitably snuggling impossibly closer to the boy's arm. "Darling, Slughorn will give you detention if you keep sleeping. Get up for me, will ya?" he muttered once again, gently pulling her up, but she just ended up falling face first on the table.
James looked over at the thud and frowned, directing his gaze to Remus who, wide-eyed, shook his girlfriend's form to wake her up. She was no longer asleep. A thousand possibilities ran through his head. Confusion. Fear. Shock.
"Is everything alright, Remus?" The professor asked, in perfect timing, looking over at his student. "I-I don't know what happened, sir. She was dozing off, and I was trying to wake her up but-" "Let's go. Pomfrey. Now."
Sirius' voice coming from behind him, James already carrying Y/N's limp form in his arms and quickly exiting the classroom in a hurried step. His boyfriend had a habit of overthinking and trying to piece a logical explanation for everything, like right now; why did Y/N faint suddenly? Sirius knew she fainted, and they needed to get help right that second.
Why's and how's would be found later, when their girl was okay.
The couple ran through the corridors, James muttering small "Darling, wake up" and "Stay with me, alright? We're almost there" with Remus and Sirius following close behind, hand in hand as the prior dried some stray tears with the right sleeve of his sweater.
It was all much too overwhelming for him; Y/N fainting, Sirius looking worried which practically never occurred, James talking to his girlfriend's limp body as if she were dead and how he got in his head instead of acting when it all happened.
His boyfriend squeezed his hand, knowing him well enough to realize what was going on in his head. “Remember what Jamie told us the other day? When you hop on a plane, they tell you to place your air-mask before helping whoever needs help near you” He said as the three of them walked through the infirmary’s door.
“Y/N/N needs help right now, but we gotta be okay to help her. Steady breaths for me, baby” he continued, encouraging him to find a rhythm so he could calm himself down. James placed Y/N on one bed and brushed the hair out of her face.
Pomfrey got in action quick as lightning, giving her a potion that would wake her up. Fainting like she did was not normal, not for a healthy person like Y/N, so she had to have her awake to answer her questions.
Her boys sat down on the sides of the bed, James and Remus on one couch cuddling as Sirius held her hand on the other side, rubbing soothing circles with his thumb. “My poor girl…” James mumbled, watching over her as Moony dozed off after the energy-draining panic he had.
“She’s been quite busy lately,” Sirius prompted. Maybe she fainted out of tiredness. “Yeah, she wasn’t even at movie night with the girls on Thursday, Lily told me,” the brunette answered, getting where his boyfriend was going. "Hasn't been much with us either, eh?" "Yeah".
They waited for about an hour after Pomfrey gave her the potion before she woke up. All of them stayed there the whole time. It was about 5pm, and they didn't attend lunch, but they couldn't risk her waking up alone. Sirius saw her shifting and stood up immediately, making James and Remus to do the same. Brows furrowed and dry lips, Y/N opened her eyes slowly.
"Hello, darlin'", "Hi babe", "Mornin' dove".
Prongs busied himself with a cup of water for his girlfriend as she returned their greetings. "W-what happened?" She asked, confused out of her mind before sipping on the glass. "You fainted during potions. Poppy said she needs to ask ya some questions." Sirius smiled, kindly kissing her nose to pull a giggle from her. "You've been taking care of yourself, baby?" Now spoke Remus, already sensing what was happening.
"Yes, I-I've been helping Reggie with some stuff for Divination and spent most of my days there, but yes" "When's the last time you ate?". Theatrical silence fell as Y/N tried to recall when did she had her last meal. Around ten seconds passed, and Sirius sighed in frustration. "Shit, Y/N".
"M'sorry, okay!?" the girl whined softly, feeling guilty about it already. "I was busy. Regg needed help..." "That's no excuse for you to not take care of yourself!" The raven-haired boy yelped, anger and worry clear in his tone. There was no way he'd let it happen again. It doesn't matter how much she wanted to help; straight up blacking out for not eating was unacceptable.
James grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "Calm down, darling. You too, Y/N. We're just glad you're okay." He pipped in, seeing as tears started to well up in his girl's eyes. Remus sat next to her on the bed, grabbing her hand and intertwining her fingers. "Sirius, could you go get some food for her? See if there's still some. Tell Poppy she's up and we know why she fainted." "Yeh," he mumbled, boots loud on the floor as he exited the room.
"Is he mad at me? A-Are you guys mad at me?" "Nonsense, dove," Remus cooed, laying beside her and letting her rest his head on his chest as Prongs did the same, holding his boyfriend's hand in the process. "We're not mad and neither is Sirius, he's just worried, and a bit frustrated but not mad". Y/N nodded after James explained, kissing both of their cheeks and finishing her water.
"S'not okay you forget to eat, though. We understand how much you like taking care of everyone and help them out..." Spoke the lycanthrope "We love that about you!" Chirped James. "... but you gotta be okay before you help anyone else. Take care of yourself first, then others. We could remind you if you like but this cannot happen again".
She nodded once again, reminding herself of the times her stomach grumbled, but she didn't listen. "Okay" Y/N smiled at her boys. Pomfrey walked over right after and scolded her for the negligence, offering more water and advised to skip the next day of classes to rest. As they got ready to leave, Sirius walked back with an armful of pastries, careful on balancing them and not drop a thing.
Everyone helped him and placed the food on the bed, rounding it so they could share their late lunch. Padfoot sat next to Y/N, and she immediately grabbed his face so he'd look at her to have his undivided attention.
As he looked upon her face, a chill ran through his body as he noticed how pale she was, and he couldn't help but feel his heart break a little as he reached out and held her face in his hands. "I'm sorry Siri..." She mumbled, looking him dead in the eye; a thing they did when one was being dead serious.
"No, I'm sorry. Shouldn't've lashed out at you like that, it's just you- you got me worried and I don't like you ill for something you can control. We'll eat our meals like clockwork now so you don't forget pup, that okay?" The boy proposed, grinning sympathetically at her as she mumbled a small okay before pressing a deep kiss to his soft lips.
The couple ate and chatted, like any other day. Promises were made, too; The boys made a silent agreement on making sure Y/N took care of herself, and she, to be as caring with herself as she was with others.
In the end, they had each other. When fainting, when laughing, when crying. They were together for the end of time and that's really all that mattered.<3
˚ · • . ° .
This is my first time writing poly!marauders so I'm very nervous at how y'all will like it haha. Tysm for reading! Hope you enjoyed
Remember, the best way to support writer’s works on here is by REBLOGGING WITH TAGS. I’d very much appreciate it if you did!
Thanks again, stranger. Hope you have a nice day<3
NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO REPOST AS THEIR OWN/TRANSLATE/OR COPY MY WORK IN ANY PLATFORM OR SPACE WITHOUT MY EXPLICIT CONSENT.
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gotranting · 1 year ago
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I love how there are so many warnings for minors to not interact with smutty stories. I guess it is for the writers to shield themselves in a way.
But come on now. As if most of us didn't read the most filthiest of smut stories when we were 15. Some younger than that probably.
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hashbrownsoncrack · 3 months ago
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first time making fanart!?
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puffy-the-wizard-slayer · 9 months ago
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Ron: That’s one of my biggest fears.
Ron: If I ever, like, wake up as a donut…
Harry: You would eat yourself.
Ron: I wouldn’t even question it.
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