#this is me just RAMBLING
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writeshite · 2 years ago
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can u write a homelander x male reader, I'd prefer fluff but I dont really care. (Noone writes x male readers😭)
John wakes up to a second heartbeat. His soulmate’s guide is six years overdue, and the cuddliest, friendliest dog he’s ever met, a dark brownish-red golden retriever - John calls him Scout. Dr. Vogelbaum is surprised - firstly, that the universe gave John a soulmate, and secondly, that a dog managed to trot its way into a secure location with little effort - it takes three dead scientists before they realize Scout is here to stay. Vought hates Scout until he can make a profit. Some mediocre photographer snaps a photo of John carrying Scout after he’d run through the mud; it’s on the internet in under an hour and the highest trending photo in the United States by dinnertime.
‘Everything you need to know about Homelander’s soulmate.’
‘13 facts about golden retriever guides, and what that can tell you about Homelander’s soulmate.’
‘How to get guides to choose you.’
The internet dissolves into a mess overnight, and the subject of John’s soulmate is trending globally; the week before Valentine’s Day is his soulmate tour, thousands of people come along, and Scout becomes the face of the ideal guide. John feels so many things - proud when the world praises his guide, confused as Scout’s friendly demeanor makes it harder to find his soulmate, and downright murderous when a fan tries to drag Scout to her and get him to like her - Sitwell tries something similar to the latter, reaching out once to pet the dog, before getting her arm bitten. John laughs, his tone cold as Scout darts behind his legs. When the Seven is formed, the others are a mixed bag; John doesn’t care enough to pay them attention, and they do the opposite, openly gawking at Scout, eyes widening further when Scout outwardly prefers his company; they want to ask, but clam up when he glares at them, hesitant to touch the guide. 
“Can’t you take me to my soulmate, already?” he asks Scout one morning; the dog tilts his head, tongue hanging out, and John swears he nods his head in response. Scout grabs his glove, and darts off with it, dodging John as he attempts to grab him; John is just about ready to throw caution to the wind when Scout stops; John doesn’t, flying directly into a tree. He’s not knocked out, but it takes a moment for the ringing to stop; when his eyes open again, you’re standing over him.
“Oh my god, Homelander, sir, are you alright?” 
John never quite understood how people could just know their soulmate by sight, even with their guides, he just never understood how people were 100% certain, but now looking at you, it’s like his whole mind just screams ‘yes.’ You hold out your hand for him to take, helping him stand, even with the gloves; your touch just feels right; Scout is the happiest John has ever seen him, tail wagging fast, “Oh, hello again,” you say to him, scratching Scout just behind the ears, you turn to John with a fond teasing smile, and he knows he’s already gone. “So, I guess this means the cat’s all you?” The cat is an orange ragdoll that, according to you, has scratched, bitten, hissed, and attacked anyone who came too close to you for her liking; John’s proud to hear that you named her Mochi, and he’s less proud of that, “Mean cats need cute names,” you simply state.
“What, you’re gonna give me a cute name too, then,” he snickers.
“I don’t see why not,” you eye him for a second, pursing your lips as you think of a name, “Snookums.” His face scrunches in horror, and you laugh, “Ok, ok, that was bad. Honeybun? Pudding? Pumpkin?” You rotate through so many names, each one as sappy as the last one, John’s expressions fueling your laughter further - there’s the distinct sound of a camera shutter, but John ignores it - placing a hand over your mouth as you dissolve into giddy hysterics. “Alright, point taken,” you say, and John is acutely aware of how close he’s pulled you to him. “How about your name then? I can’t just call you Homelander forever.”
“John,” he says.
“John. Johnathan,” You try the words on your tongue, “Jonnie, Johnny Boy.” You shake your head, “Yeah, I’ll stick with John.” You smile, giving John your name, “Nice to meet you, John.”
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x22817 · 4 months ago
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I was reading the details of the Community Canine or the advanced level of the AKC's Canine Good Citizen Program. It says that "the dog can not pull" or "the leash can not become taunt".
I am not going to lie that I am nervous about this. I use a 6' runners leash when we are in public. When it is at its full length, I trip over it when I am not holding it. At some point, I grabbed a carabiner and clipped the handles together, so it is about 2' long. This became my new favorite thing because it's really the perfect length for her heel but not get tripped on! I like it more than over the shoulder (thank you PTSD) and allows me to be completely hands free.
I am worried something will happen, and she will accidentally bump into the end of the leash (not actually pull). The 2' doesn't give a lot of wiggle room even if we aren't taking the test. I don't mind if she runs into the end of it due to miscommunication or whatever as long as she isn't actually pulling on it.
I am debating trying to just hold the leash or even get/use a regular leash for this so I don't have to worry about it? With that though, I am worried I'll fuck it up by tugging on the leash because I get anxious (another big plus for being hands free).
This is another perfect example of me not using typical equipment because I truly never thought we'd be able to take these tests. Practicality for the CGC never occurred to me when making our setup. It works for us and that's all I've ever cared about
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inkykeiji · 2 years ago
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i don’t even want to fuCKING TALK ABOUT IT
bnha manga spoilers!
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geT THE FUCK OUT OF HERE HE’S SO CUTE AND HE’S SO TINY NEXT TO HIS DADDY AND NATSUO LIKE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is touya-nii like this is touya-nii, minus the tattoos over the scars that’s exactly how i see him; his exact height, his fluffy hair!!!!!!!!!!!! little tufts curling up at the base of his skull!!! get the FUCK out of here!!!!!
i genuinely cannot do this my heart can’t handle it i feel like i need to go into hiding for a million years just to process this single panel also what the fuck is going ON in this chapter i’m so confused and like sincerely terrified with how this whole family’s story is going to end?????
i just want dabi to get the ending he, as a character, deserves—meaning i want it to be well-written and impactful and fucking heart wrenching. i don’t want something happy and fluffy and unrealistic and fan-servicey. i want horikoshi to rip my heart from between my ribs with his bare hands, stomp on it with dabi’s big black boots, set fire to it and then eat the ashes. i want to be sobbing; full on chest shuddering ribs rattling voice shattering sobs that hurt so much they leave my throat raw and my entire body trembling. so i hope he can pull it off LMAO we’ll see
i feel like it’s kind of like a catharsis thing??? dabi is my favourite character of all time and he means so fucking much to me and he (+ the todoroki fam in general) brings me so much comfort it’s actually insane. but i would rather his story have a GOOD, absolutely heartbreaking but impactful and meaningful ending than he get some sort of bullshit happy-go-lucky ending that doesn’t at all fit with his story of tragedy and trauma or do it justice. to me, dabi’s story is a cautionary tale; shouto’s story is the story of forgiveness and redemption. but i guess we’ll see what happens~
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dreadful-windandrain · 4 months ago
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"will you match my freak" no. i'm freakier than you. this is a competition and i'm winning
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lazylittledragon · 11 months ago
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can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024
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jellyjamheadobb · 7 months ago
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crowkip · 4 months ago
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yeehaw, baby!
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midnight-coffee94 · 1 year ago
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No single line has ever wrecked me as hard as this one from the Good Place and I think about it constantly
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goldensunset · 1 year ago
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did you know? if you do your laundry you can get your clothes back
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hellishattempt · 6 months ago
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nanami kento comes home on a saturday afternoon, hands full of groceries and hair freshly cut. in the distance, he hears his precious wife humming along to her favorite soundtrack. you must not have heard him come in. he smiles to himself, setting the groceries on the counter, but not unloading them. that can wait. right now, he wants to hold you.
he slips out of his shoes, padding quietly to the laundry room where you are folding towels. you have your back to him, headphones lodged in your ears. as nanami gets closer, the music bleeding from your headphones becomes audible. he chuckles softly. no matter how many times he tells you it's bad for your ears, you insist on listening to your music at just below full volume.
snaking his arms around your waist, you jump at the sudden contact. nanami presses his chest against your back as you take out your headphones, leaning into his touch. you sway in silence for a moment, nanami resting his chin on your shoulder. when you turn to face him, your expression changes at the sight of his hair.
"your hair," you state dumbly. "you cut it."
"yes," your husband muses. "is there something wrong with it?"
"no, no!" you assure nanami, studying his hair. "i just wasn't expecting it. you normally have me do it, which you know i don't mind doing."
"i know, but i didn't want to bother you on your cleaning day."
your expression softens at his words. nanami, your ever loving, ever caring husband, always thinking about you before himself. you reach one hand up, smoothing the hair down the back of his neck. as you bring your hand up, the freshly cut hair pricks your palm, and nanami lets out a low hiss.
you immediately apologize, pulling away. "did that hurt?"
"yes, but it's okay. it felt... good," nanami confessed. "... do it again. please." his voice is thick and demanding, and you obey without hesitation.
this time, you use just the tips of your fingertips to graze his undercut, beginning at the base of his neck. his breathing quickens as you continue to to run your hands through his undercut, going up and down, switching from one hand to both, thumbs caressing the sides of the cut. the laundry room fills with his melodic whimpers and faint groans. his eyes are shut tight, teeth digging into his bottom lip.
"fuck..." he cusses lowly.
"you okay, nani?" you giggle, stopping momentarily. his eyes flash open, pupils blown. "kento?"
"let's go to the bedroom," he insisted, grabbing your hand and dragging you towards the master bedroom. you barely have time react before nanami pushes you back on to the bed, practically ripping your leggings off.
"kento, what are you doin-" you try to protest, his hands clamping around your wrist and bringing them down to grip his hair. his head disappears between your leg, lips latching around your clit. involuntarily, your fingers tighten around his sharp undercut. he moans into your cunt, the vibrations sending waves of pleasure through your body.
from then on, nanami kento always got an undercut.
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eydilily · 1 month ago
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would you bite the hand that feeds you?
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didhewinkback · 2 months ago
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one direction will always be so so so bittersweet to me like they were such a foundation of my teenage years while at the same time those boys were spending most of their days trapped in hotel rooms or waking up at 2 am to record an album and non stop touring and working so much more than anyone let alone a bunch of teenage boys should work and its always been hard to reconcile those two realities especially on a day like today because god when they were good together, they were so good together.
and i just don't think anything like them will ever happen again. 5 boys from basically working class backgrounds thrust into a level of fame the height of which hadn't been seen for decades, all of them becoming the breadwinners of their families before the age of 18. the immense pressure but also the amount of fun they were. the tragedy and joy of it all intertwined. really impossible to put into words
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littlefankingdom · 2 months ago
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Bruce died(?) again
Jason: Well, it's my turn.
Dick: What are you talking about?
Jason: Everytime Bruce is gone, one of you starts to act just like him, pushing everyone away, acting as only you can be right, and fighting anyone that gets in your way. Dick did it, Tim did it, even Cass kind of did it. So, this time, I will do it.
Tim: Isn't that how you act all the time?
Jason: Whoa, fuck you. You are so banned from historical drama movie nights.
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secretmellowblog · 1 year ago
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People who try to analyze what happened on Tumblr on November 5th, 2020, often really overstate how much it was actually “about” Supernatural. As someone who has never been in the supernatural fandom ever but dID join in on the hysterical destielposting—it was really more about the stress of the pandemic and the 2020 presidential election.
The two biggest Youtubers I’ve seen try to dissect “what happened that November 5th” in video essays both weren’t American—- and I think that explains why they both tried to explain the hysteria primarily via analyzing the Supernatural fandom/the original show, rather than through the lens of the election. And while those videos are cool, valid, informational, and make lots of really well-considered interesting points— I can tell you that me and almost all my mutuals had literally no knowledge or interest in the fact that “oh supernatural had made nods at the ship in the past but the creators were adamant that I wouldn’t be canon” or etc etc etc etc. the first time I learned about any of that context was way later, watching videos where people claimed that fandom history context (that I did not know anything about) was the actual reason for the hysteria.
But the reality is that people latched on to the Destiel stuff because it was a piece of big useless inane zero-stakes fandom news in a time when we were desperately waiting for serious high stakes election news. We were latching onto a “positive “ piece of inane stupid fandom news in a time of great stress, with all the desperation of a drowning man who latches onto whatever piece of wood will keep him afloat.
The core of the hysteria was that Americans (who make up a huge chunk of tumblr’s userbase) were currently glued to their laptops watching the live presidential election vote counts come in. These vote counts were taking an extended amount of time due to the pandemic causing high numbers of mail-in ballots, resulting in a constant state of Election Day Stress for multiple days straight.
This was also during the height of the Pandemic. People had predicted Trump’s presidency would be bad; no one had predicted it would be this apocalyptically bad. No one had predicted pandemics and lockdowns and hospitals overflowing with bodybags. remember Trump spreading Covid lies and conspiracies?? There were so many Qanon conspiracies about democrats being Satanic child traffickers who had to be put to death, and coup threats were mounting from the right wing side. It seemed like this election was a choice between ‘centrist democrat’ and “apocalyptic right wing conspiracy theory authoritarianism,” in the midst of pandemic conditions that people feared would never ever improve— and it seemed like a close election.
Another major point was that Trump voters were more likely to be antimaskers/Covid deniers, while Biden voters were more likely to take the pandemic seriously— so Biden voters were more likely to send in mail-in ballots instead of risking the in-person voting crowds, which meant their ballots would take much longer to count. And so, in many state electoral vote counts, it would initially seem like Trump was very far in the lead— only for Biden to slooooowly build up an agonizingly small lead as the mail in ballots came in, and then defeat Trump at the very end.
So you’re just watching these news sites giving live election updates, refreshing the page every 2 minutes to see if you’re going to live under a spineless centrist democrat or a literal Qanon Dictatorship. And then you go on tumblr to distract yourself, and there’s more election posting, and more agonizing over the votes, and more stress and despair—-
And then it’s been days and we’re right at the crucial tipping point where it’s anyone’s game and the next few hours will determine whether Trump will win, so you need to keep your eye on the vote count, because the next hours will determine the future of the pandemic and your country and your plans for your entire life—
And then stupid Destiel becomes canon! And it becomes canon in the silliest way possible!
If Destiel had become canon at any other time, it would have been a big goofy tumblr celebration? But we wouldn’t have gotten the insane explosion of hysterical interaction.
The entire core of it was the contrast between the inane meaningless stupidity of fandom news vs the actual stressful election news you wanted to hear! It really is best conveyed in that meme where Castiel says “I love you” and Dean indifferently responds with a piece of important election news.
It’s about the contrast between the low-stakes inanity of fandom and the massive life-destroying stakes of a terrifying election. There really was no reason it had be Supernatural specifically, except that Supernatural was a thing everyone knew basic things about from dashboard osmosis— it could’ve been any other equally huge silly fandom ship news about a ship everyone *knew of* but might not necessarily be invested in (ex. Stucky becoming canon, Johnlock becoming canon, Kirk/Spock becoming more canon somehow, etc etc etc.)
I think it’s true that people who weren’t paying agonizingly close attention to the American election news got swept up in it, and that non American Supernatural fans also were extremely excited for purely fandom reasons — but the entire reason it blew up to an unprecedented degree was because of that core of stressed out terrified Americans glued to their computers watching election results and suddenly receiving stupid fandom news instead, and deciding to just hysterically parodically hyper-celebrate this absurd useless zero-stakes news.
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I think it was also all elevated by the fact that, as I said before, this happened at the crucial “tipping point” of the election where the next few hours would determine the winner. The fact that Biden began to slowly develop a lead in the hours after made it feel, hysterically, as if the hours after Destiel became canon was somehow the turning point where he began to win; so celebrating Destiel felt like celebrating that slow turn towards victory.
The tl,dr is that it’s so important to Remember the Fifth of November …..in preparation the inevitable hysteria that will happen in the presidential election on November 5th of next year. XD. Personally I’m rooting for Johnlock or Frodo/Sam to somehow become canon in the eleventh hour right before the democrats win
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maythedreadwolftakeyou · 11 days ago
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Viago, when playing as Rook De Riva: you IDIOT you were my favorite fledgling why did you have to make a mess of this now I have to jump through all these convoluted hoops to keep you safe. Teia stop telling Rook how much I missed them it's not funny they could have DIED. also your room is exactly the way you left it please come home
Strife, when playing as Rook Aldwir: Why hasn't this weird bug i kicked out of our camp ages ago died yet :|
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suntails · 13 days ago
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growing up!
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