#this is lame but I really??? needed to get this out

[lissa612]

It’s sorta crazy how a stupid TV show has been able to trigger my anxiety so bad, but it makes sense when I consider all I had been using my hyper fixation on it to distract myself from. Alas, my anxiety has brought back my insomnia which means I wake up sometime between 1am and 2:30am every morning and just MIGHT start feeling ready to fall asleep against around 5…When my alarm goes off to get ready for work.

But it leaves me a lot of time for random pondering. And this morning got me thinking of one thing that either pisses me off or gives me hope (I guess I’ll know eventually…)

They didn’t need a character like Tommy for Buck’s bi (? Maybe - That actually hasn’t truly been confirmed in canon 🙄) awakening.

This is going to sound a lot like some of the anti-Tommy talking points, but please stay with me.

It really COULD have been any good looking, cool guy who did it. Imagine Johnny, a 40yo adrenaline junkie sport type that Buck and Eddie meet during a big emergency the way they met Ali. Now unlike Ali, Johnny keeps it together during the emergency and like Ali helps them save himself and others. Could even make him a military man. Now they could leave this emergency all having one another’s numbers and something along the lines of 7x04 still could have happened.

Buck calls Johnny to see his fun exciting job/hobby, but Johnny is pulled away when Eddie shows up for them to go do something they’d already planned. Buck isn’t complaining to Maddie about Eddie spending all this time with the new guy, but it’s not the cool pilot she already knows about but the cool free climber or whatever they met on a call. The same conclusions are still met with the conversation. Maybe the basketball game isn’t strictly first responders…Chim doesn’t have quite the same idea what’s going on since he really doesn’t know this guy, but he gets that Buck only asked him to the game because Eddie was bringing his new friend. Things still go badly for Eddie’s ankle and Johnny comes to the loft to apologize. There’s no talk about the 118 family, of course, but perhaps some other vulnerability about friendships and a kiss. There’s a date that still goes to hell. There’s coming out to Maddie and Eddie. There’s the coffee meet up. They could still have Buck go balls to the wall and invite him to the wedding despite him only really know Buck and Eddie. Johnny wouldn’t go to the bachelor party and maybe he comes to the hospital, maybe he doesn’t.

Their relationship does what Buck’s relationships do when there isn’t much connecting the person to his teammates or the plots of the show. Bobby can only say that Buck seems happy and settled…He can’t pass judgment on a person he doesn’t know. And they go through the dramas of the 118 together until something triggers a desire for a big move forward for Buck…And the same sort of break up happens.

It’s sad. It’s probably still a bit offensive. But there was never any loss to what could have been brought to the show overall by the departure of Buck’s latest partner, even if he was new in some ways.

But that’s not what happened.

They decided to bring in an established character that could be molded into what they wanted. A firefighter. Better yet, a firefighter PILOT on a show about firefighting that could use some fresh emergency plot ideas. A character with history in the house that holds Buck’s family. With Chim and with Hen and even with Bobby if it’s not nearly as much since Bobby wasn’t his open hearted self back when Tommy was there. And Tommy wasn’t either.

So you have this character who is compatible with the job. He can make for interesting storylines outside of relationship ones. There isn’t going to be a lame break up because the job is dangerous. There isn’t going to be a betrayal based on their mutual prioritizing of work since they would both understand how the work needs priority. You have things you can explore putting the character in pairings with practically every other main and have it make sense.

All that potential by choosing to go with this character that fits so well to just NOT do any of it.

That’s the real loss I am feeling as a fan of the show from the beginning.

And yeah, I shipped BuckTommy and I had hopes for things I wanted to see between them because Buck is my favorite character and I love seeing him shine. I’m heartbroken by his heart being broken. I’m heartbroken because I saw all this potential that I assumed professional storytellers would also see and not squander. That assumption left me blindsided when it seemed they did squander it.

And everyone saying it was written on the wall - It wasn’t. Yes, Buck’s relationships always fail. That’s how things work - Relationships fail until one WORKS. And this one seemed like it should work. Unless you are watching through goggles telling you without a doubt Buck’s endgame lays elsewhere, there was no warning that this is what would happen at the 6 month mark of the relationship.

And it seems like a really dumb thing to do, to let go of such an interesting tool you have available to you as a storyteller. You didn’t have to make the character such an asset to you and the story.

Maybe I’m jumping the gun and they do have plans for possible stories in the future. Awkward emergencies with the 118 and 217 on a scene together for some reason that will use some of that potential. So maybe there is some reason to hope.

Or maybe it is just wasted. And I’m pissed as a fan of the show and as someone who feels emotionally whiplashed by 8x05 and 8x06.

I guess we’ll see. I refuse get my hopes up. Perhaps I’ll watch the show live tonight…Depends if being up at 2am means I’m exhausted by 6:30pm again today (I was only able to force myself to stay awake until 8pm last night). I’ll watch eventually regardless. But I’m probably back to watching the show the way I did before and how I currently watch Ghosts and Tracker…When I remember the show, I’ll binge what I missed. Or I’ll turn it on if I remember during the timeslot. It’s no longer must see TV for me that I will make plans around.

Anyway, done rambling…

[bapple117]

it's such a massive waste that you would send Say Hello Wave Good Bye like that. You had all that story potentiall and you're just throwing it away because you got bored??? or something? That's such an insult to all the people that followed your works and supported you. You look to be doing just fine writing things for other fandoms. Seems really lame. unsubbed. You clearly have no consideration for your faithful readers at all. why don't you finish fics before starting fresh ones in the future!!

I don't even know what to say. Thanks for making me cry on a random-ass thursday, my dude. Hope you feel really good about that.

I did the best I could with what I had. I think if you knew the ins and outs of the kind of year I've had, what I've been going through, maybe you'd exercise a little more compassion. As it is, you can't read my mind or see my life story, so. It's easy to be rude behind the wall of anonymity, isn't it?

Well whatever bit of anger you needed to get out, I hope it was worth needlessly upsetting someone who's already struggling. Good job.

[drachis917]

This is kind of out of nowhere for my blog and I feel like I'm going against both canon and fanon when I say this, but having mostly caught up with how My Hero Academia tried to wrap things up in its ending, I think Decay should've been Shigaraki's original quirk. A lot of the fandom likes the idea that Tomura was born quirkless until AFO got to him, since it parallels so well with Izuku. I do think that's a cool idea, but it's not my favorite theory for reasons I'll get into later. Unfortunately for most of us, it's been confirmed that he was born with a quirk, it just doesn't matter what it was because AFO took it and later gave him Decay. From what I can tell, that's not a particularly well-liked explanation since it puts AFO in the position of 'mastermind who organized literally everything bad that happened' which I imagine most people find lame. But consider this: even if Tomura was quirkless originally, wouldn't that leave AFO in the same place? I love the League of Villains a lot and consider them to be horribly tragic characters, but I think Tomura's situation in particular would've been more tragic if the whole thing was just one awful coincidence. Even if his bio family weren't who they were, Decay would've showed up eventually and almost certainly would cause a lot of problems. And I also think it would've been a whole lot more fucked up if AFO just picked him up on a whim because it was convenient, and learning about the kid's relation to his nemesis afterwards was what gave him the idea for his own legacy plan. When I think of tragedies, I usually look at them from the lens of "was there anything else that could've been done?" With Decay as Shigaraki's original quirk, no, there really wasn't. Alas, it is ultimately a story of good triumphing over evil, so there needed to be some bitch behind everything and AFO is that bitch. They needed an ultimate villain to blame instead of acknowledging the faults of their own system, and all of the bad guys connected to him needed to be dealt with in order to 'fix' everything. I wish the story as a whole could've been handled with a little more respect and nuance, but I guess I'll settle for self-indulgent fanfiction instead.

[ednaeflowers]

She rolls her eyes. ❛  A 'little' carried away? Have fun explaining when people start wondering if there's even a 'Lady Catherine' in this town.  ❜ But that was, indeed, amusing. She'll admit to that. If there was ever a chance that Flynn could meet Lailah, maybe Edna can convince her to play Lady Catherine. Lailah has her own streak of mischief no matter how responsible she presents herself. She never forgot that little show Lailah helped orchestrate with Sorey and Rose mysteriously being husband and wife, Sorey reciting Lailah's lame poetry to preserve the charade in order to gain access into Lastonbell. No doubt Lailah would jump at the chance to make up poetic lines to recite as Lady Catherine.

Watching Flynn study the ground of where her rock spikes were at, Edna quips back, ❛  Now you know who to call then if you ever need more spikes from the earth.  ❜ She's already ruled out earthquakes because that's definitely not good for a town like this, but she could probably switch it up and make random boulders instead of spikes if spikes are deemed too dangerous. Or a rock wall. Or she could make a random hole in the ground... 

She'll have to think about it, but for now, she curiously asks, ❛  Commandant Alexei? So there really is a former Commandant? I thought you made him up.  ❜ This former Commandant has an actual name, so it seems like Flynn was acquainted with him and actually knew him. Edna wonders if this Alexei would approve of this usage of his status and name like this, but if Flynn is frustrated by these dumb nobles, then maybe Alexei had a similar experience due to having the same position? ❛  At least, I don't recall hearing about a 'Commandant Alexei' when I came here.  ❜ 

Although, she sulks quietly that he knew she was worried. She was totally not worried. She just didn't want her mischief being the reason why he got in trouble because that would mean it's more for her to take responsibility for. That's all. That's just being mature. Because she's a lady.

❛  If that's all people will do, then I say this is a win-win situation. He gets what he deserves while we get peace and quiet.  ❜ A pause. ❛  Until the next dumb noble in line comes along. I remember you two talking about the 'Noble Quarter.' I'm amazed there's a whole district for these losers.  ❜ That sounds like a nightmare. She is so glad she never found that quarter. It's probably as bad as Ladylake's one, considering how both places make her feel so exasperated. Edna remembers the direction Dumb Loser went to, so she makes it a point to avoid that location for the future. Since there's a 'Noble Quarter,' that would imply there are multiple 'quarters,' right? ❛  What other 'quarters' are here anyway? I hope that was the only one infested with dummies.  ❜ 

“My apologies for fabricating an ‘assault accusation’ about you against this ‘Lady Catherine.’” Flynn had to hold back his amused chuckle, running a hand over his face in order to compose himself. Oh, he knew that if anyone knew that he had done this, depending on the person, he would probably never hear the end of it. Yuri especially. The man would probably be unable to believe it. All the reason to keep this little endeavor a secret. “I may have gotten a little carried away but… it worked, correct?”

For a moment, he looks at the ground in front of him, where Edna had summoned the earth spikes just moments ago. He has a look of wonder and curiosity on his face as he carefully slides his foot over the dirt. It seemed perfectly normal now, as if the girl hadn’t just casted the equivalent of a Stalagmite spell. Not that Flynn doubted her powers or anything but it was quite interesting to see them in action.

“Well, if there was any disbelief about the Commandant haunting the courtyard, I’m sure your little show with the earth wiped away any doubts. I… do feel a little bad about using Commandant Alexei���s name as an excuse to get out getting fussed at by a noble but…” Well… Flynn couldn’t help but feel a little (or maybe more than a little) petty about everything Alexei had done. But still, Flynn hated speaking ill of the dead if he could help it.

He’ll have to make some apologies later.

He shook his head, trying to rid himself of thoughts of Alexei and to focus more on the matter at hand. He does appreciate Edna’s concern (as nonchalant as she showed it) about whether or not Flynn would get in trouble for such a thing. He chuckles a little. “I don’t think you’ll need to worry too much about that. Even if it seems sketchy, there’s no proof that I’m directly involved in the matter. I’ve never used many, if any, earth-based artes and the earth that came up after he left is sitting here, undisturbed. There are no signs of anything actually happening and the man wasn’t hurt. The only thing that may be questioned, if anything, would be his sanity.”

[waterwindow]

Does anybody know any good adult oriented tf2 discord servers

[waitmyturtles]

Emotionally, 23.5 (episode 10) is like a cheaply made puzzle, where like, the edges are cut roughly, so like, you THINK that you have the right pieces next to each other, but when you smush them in, and they don't fit QUITE smoothly enough, you're like, oh maybe there's another piece, but like, you CAN'T find another piece that works, because like, the piece you have in your hand IS the piece that is the right one for the picture you're making, or like, you THINK it is, so like, you keep smushing the pieces together, and you THINK the puzzle makes sense, but you kinda feel like you have the wrong piece, or worse, you're MISSING A BETTER PIECE, because everything's NOT QUITE JIVING.

I hope this post made as much sense as the emotional journey we attempted to take with the script in this last episode. What the FUCK is this script doing to Ongsa? A little more context, some smoother edges, would be really helpful here!

[dykedvonte]

My post about Anya is making like a little ruckus on Twitter and I think it’s crazy how many people like have a problem with it.

Like you don’t have to agree with how I characterize Anya and her actions but it’s more like, why are you focused on only one aspect of her character? Why are you removing nuance from the situation? I don’t see it as giving Curly the benefit of the doubt when it comes to doing better for Anya, but as exploring his character and hers relationship with a the very little authentic facts we get about them. In truth, there’s a lot more I wish Curly did, even if it wasn’t pragmatic but I realize the issue there.

The first psychological horror game in a while that’s real intricate in its storytelling and makes you need to really need to address the morality of intentions and its already getting torn asunder smh 😔

[spacedlexi]

the way the ericson group were at the outbreak just a bunch of troubled kids who made various mistakes or committed crimes and were judged by a system that punished and abandoned them instead of giving them the support and love they needed, are then nearly a decade later put into a situation where now they must judge a troubled child for the mistakes and crimes hes committed against them. and 5 to 3 vote them out 😭

[poppytuft]

the bear s3 spoilers

below the cut! thinking about claire and stuff we saw this season re: carmy/syd/the restaurant/donna, just finished the season so itll be a mess and also im comin in way too hot on this so my bad

sometimes...... sometimes i believe you guys are all watching different tv. im not sure how this season didnt feel like a direct through line from s2?? and im not sure WHY everyone is SO MAD about claire LITERALLY "haunting" this season. girl. come on. we need to have a sit down talk about how the berzatto generational trauma is the real meat of this show (this will make sense, just trust me). thats the MAIN EMOTIONAL POINT. syd's relationship with her dad, marcus and his mom, richie and evie, even tina and louie are all examples of parental relationships that are tender, sweet, supportive, etc. these are INTENTIONAL!! by creating these relationships we see PLAINLY how fucked donna is and how much she fucked up all of these kids. thats why "ice chips" was such a FANTASTIC episode. there was SO MUCH unpacked, so much revealed, so much worked through with sugar and her but at the end of the day she's still learning how to unlearn all of this horrific narcissistic bullshit. SHES STILL UNLEARNING THOUGH. thats where fucking DONNA of all people sits right now——somehow, she's learning how to heal. EVERYONE IS LEARNING. that's also what is so important about that episode.

now lets look at carmy. in "ice chips" we are LITERALLY told about how each berzatto is born: mikey fighting against the idea of being alive at all, nat into a quiet, soothing room, and CARMY is fucking born into EVERYONE SCREAMING and ARGUING and FIGHTING. we are BLATANTLY told that all carmy has ever known is HELL and all he's ever known how to communicate is through exploding. this is so violently against what we also know about his personality from childhood in "fishes" (anxious growing up, arts-oriented, had a hard time making friends). now, he works a violently stressful job, processing the trauma from both his mother (and chef fields [joel mchale], realistically) through the high-stress environment.

NOW. ENTER CLAIRE.

HOW is she not fascinating to you all. we don't see her whole story (because the bear, duh) but we are given just enough pieces here to put together that her story runs parallel to carmy's. how are you not getting this. walk with me.

claire. glasses, nerdy, quiet, sweet, girl next door. family friend! cute, but considered mid for a long time by everyone at school, but suddenly the berzatto men all badger carm, "oh she got a glow up, oh shes looking for you, she wants to see you," etc etc etc. what happened in between?

she finds herself. she finds the stressful thing she LOVES, which is the hospital. her job is objectively more stressful than carmy's (illustrated by that scene earlier in the season but i forgot the episode, where claire talks about the girl who got her shit wrecked by the glass table), and while we don't have an exact understanding of what her home life was like, we understand that her and carmy both have a level of internal anxiety that thrives on the stress of their careers. HOWEVER, claire does it because she loves it. carmy just doesn't know how to stop.

this is what makes claire feel like "peace" to carmy——because her high-stress job is a choice, an active choice she is making because it fulfills her. it's not to prove her dead brother wrong, or to honor his own legacy, or to prove that dickbag boss wrong, or to leave a mark on the world, or to make her own life worthwhile, or to prove that she doesn't need anyone else. she genuinely enjoys helping people even when the days are stressful, or scary. he's obsessed with this. he wants to know how she does this. every day she leaves that stress at home——and he wants to learn how to do that too.

claire is VITAL to this season and to understanding carmy's stress——and how far back he is in his healing process. it should only become more and more apparent, as we see characters like tina (the beef/the bear became vital to her success/development as a chef AND person, both for the people AND her love of food), marcus (not hiding his grief, but using it to help rationalize how much his mother loved him and wanted to be surrounded by people that love him), and richie (finding a purpose through service/expo and understanding he can start over again) push through their own traumas and struggles to become better people. if donna can be not only present at sugar's bedside during labor, but WELCOMED at this point in the show, it makes carmy's inability to heal all the more present. claire is an important part of this puzzle: she helps us see a window into a world where carmy is balanced emotionally, but unbalanced professionally, because he has no idea how to make the two coexist.

however, the idea that he can be balanced emotionally at all is so fucking enticing——with the help of someone who experiences stress in the same way as him (and who is familiar with his familial trauma), he has the opportunity to grow up and move on from his family trauma and wounds perpetuated by the industry he works in.

on the flip side of this....... his inability to process any of this is starting to impact syd. and frankly, that's some bullshit. his lack of communication, inability to community build/trust ANYONE, and his violent stubbornness is pushing her into the same space that he was in under chef fields, in a much slower, more subtle manner, and for slightly different reasons. her panic attack at the end of the season could read in two directions to me: her stress over the responsibility of changing so many people's lives has boiled over once she remembered that the beef once was truly great (hey five star review on the fridge!), OR, she realizes how much she isn't in it for the food. fuck a Michelin star: she wants to cook with her family. chef terry says at the end of "forever", in the garage with carmy, that she's so grateful she got to do whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted, where she wanted, with the people she wanted to do it with. sydney is so close to having those things at the bear——but carmy's dysfunction is keeping it just out of arms reach. the two of them are now on opposite sides of the approach from last season: syd dying for a star, and carmy dying to cook for the woman he loved. now, carmy is hungy for recognition again, desperate to prove something, and sydney is remembering (thanks to the conversation with other chefs during the ever funeral service) why she loved cooking in the first place. so this leaves us to wonder: should she stick it out? for the people? or make something of herself? is she carmy, or is she terry? i guess we will just have to see.

all this to say: every character is connected. the bear is a show about family, found and blood, and the choices we make for, with, and because of the people we love, for better or for worse. food is only the center of it, because it's the center of all of our lives. you can't hate claire without understanding where she sits in the web of the berzatto family. and really, you can't hate her if you understand what her presence means for carmy, for syd, and the restaurant as a whole.

[ourhouseishaunted]

people acting as if laios can Do No Wrong and infantilizing him because he is autistic are annoying as hell. especially because laios belongs to my favorite genre of character: "person who desperately wants friends and deep relationships because they're lonely, and while part of their problems stem from people not wanting to understand them and refusing to meet them where they are, they also genuinely come across in a way where you Completely Understand why others can get turned off from them"

[kyouka-supremacy]

Well.

[moeblob]

Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

[jaythelay]

I'm drunk, probably blocked by most here and that's fine I imagine I'm alot to deal with, but I really think this is something any leftist needs to hear:

Lose your Innocence.

The world does not play fair, nor does it reward it. The world is not like Bernie Sanders or Tim Walz, the world works, presently, upon rules that dictate the strong-minded do nothing as to not oppose their own fears or morals, while the weak-minded do as they please.

The world is going to take and it will grin, you will never know if they're sincere in their justified outward appearance, but it doesn't matter, what matters is you were wronged, and they will get away with it.

The issue is not that something "wrong" happened, it's that it had No Purpose. That is what stops you, you know there's a purpose, and yet so many times you've seen it without. Without ever knowing if it was ignorance or malice, you never try it yourself.

The truth of the matter is always and has always been, that you were too innocent to strike back, to strike first, or to strike too hard.

Leftists need to genuinely? Start being what republicans describe them as, they need to be "the deep state" they need to be ridiculously anarchistic, socialists, not just push for livable wages but thriving, really just shove that shit down people's throats.

They need to start breaking shit and saying mean words.

As is, your innocence holds you back from ever throwing a punch, you feel as though it's meaningless to do so in the first place, but the fact is, Republicans Have No Reason, for what they do other than a Larp, it's Fun to them, they find Fun in Killing or Maiming Innocence.

You don't need to do that. You need a purpose behind it, one that isn't that. Call them faggots, call them absolute larpers, *** them on twitter, do it all man. Because they just proved there Is No Order, No Purpose, and most importantly, No Point in anything.

If they want this kind've world, you gotta toughen the fuck up, and break some fucking teeth (metaphorically, of course.) and do shit you've seen as wrong for so fucking long, because it Will happen to someone you care about otherwise. Republicans don't experience their own bullshit, bring it to them, because everyone pretends the left does anyways, you might as fucking well now.

tl;dr democrats/leftists aren't cool, they kick you out for making shitty jokes instead of making shitty jokes back. They don't have anything cool like my faboribe electric man elgon mufks! They don't even really say anything and when they do, it's some boring politics about another country and that pisses me off because I still can't pay off this thing, or this costs more and now that I'm politically active I'm paying attention to solely what the cool people say because I'm cool.

Leftists don't have dumb content or humor, they don't get stupid, and that, is why they don't understand the dumb fun of republicans. On top of this, they're also too weak to throw any punch socially and instead focus on critique.

To put it simpler, to the wider public, unfortunately and this is a bullet to the fuckin' heart, the Left's HBomberGuys vs R's Keemstars? Keemstar fuckin' Wins. Figure out why.

[bunnihearted]

🕸🎀˚.⁺⊹

[tekkenenjoyerblue]

Thoughts about M. Bison and Echo in my head but in the most incomprehensible way I can’t put to words with any justice, send help please

Uhhhhhh something something “despite everything its still you” send post

[empty-blog-for-lurking]

If youre ok w sharing then i would love to hear your thoughts on lotor........ Hes such a weird guy. Dissecting him like a frog

If i get hate for this, i am blaming you/j but in all honesty i apologize if this kinda messy, as i have said it has beem awhile since i saw any of the episodes about him. Most of it is my personal interpretation and opinions of his character-

First of all i personally hate both "L0tor is evil rapist imperialist who did not have a single redeemable quality" and "L0tor is uwu poor baby who did nothing wrong", because yeah he had good intentions and he seemed to genuinely love Alura and care for Alteans but also he very much did do a lot of things Wrong. I am pretty sure a lot of his actions fall into category of Very Wrong

Lot0r to me is an absolute control freak, he has to be 10 steps ahead of everyone, he needs to be control of the situation no matter what. Whether it be through a silver tongue or by his blade (see N@rti's death, him vs White Lion). This is as much as a ruthless strategy as it is a trauma response. Being raised under Z@rkon, a father who only saw him as inferior half-bred, he had to learn survivor tactics. He will do anything to survive whether it be beg, lie, manipulate, and kill. He is a survivor of some genuinely godawful abuse he suffered for 10,000 years, combined with racism he suffered for being half altean

However this need to be in control extends to his allies and people he cares about. I am sure Lotor may have loved Alura, it doesnt change the fact that he very much abused her trust. Their entire relationship was based on a lie. He knew Alteans were still alive and not only did he not tell Alura about it he leaned into the "last survivors of Altea" for their relationship, which is why it was doomed since the beginning. And if it had not been this, then it would have been something else. Cause lying and manipulation are very much core of his character, that is how we are introduced to him

Like i see people going "Oh Lot0r could have been good if he had therapy and a hug", and i am not really not sure about it, cause like would he? Would he choose to be vulnerable and actually let his feelings out and be truthful in a an unbiased reliable way that will neither serve him in any way nor make him look better nor is a part of some machivilian scheme he cooked up because he doesnt trust the therapist he is paying? No

And thing is he does desire connection. He looks for connection in people who are similar to him. Half galran, altean survivors, Alura these are the people who he chose to get close to. He looks for similarities, people he can relate to, people who he sees as like him, people who he thinks can give him a sense of belonging. He is deeply lonely. However his desperation for control, absolute mistrust in anyone and everyone, and his inability to be actually honest dooms any relationship he'll ever have

Also this is probably just me, but for someone who is this morally complex character he has tendency to see things in black and white? Like it is His dad and empire= bad, alteans=good. He idolizes Altea to the point of seeing it as an Utopia, and this ideal was more important to him than any Alteans who are alive and with him. I also cant remember him ever caring about someone outside of the Dichotomy. Like at most i remember is after he became the emperor Lance pointing out how other planets need to be freed and he just brushed it off

Overall he gives me the "smart people dont always make good decisions, but they are good at justifying their bad ones" vibes. We dont know exactly why he decided to use alteans as batteries but i am choosing to go with my interpretation- "Lottor saw something fucked up in that future showing space whale thingy, decided the only way to solve was altean batteries except in true self fulfilling prophecy greek tragedy way it only made things worse and started a series of event that will cause the thing he saw causing real trouble a few years after his death.

Another thing! I think it should have been him being the focus of Evil Altean episode instead of A//ura. I hate that episode and everything it stands for but like if there Had to be an evil alteans episode then it should be around someone who is you know? Obsessed with Altean culture? Is big on control and manipulation? Is more geared towards big picture and "greater good" over individual? Is worried about turning into just like his galran father and so desperately wants to connect to his idealized version of his altean mother? Yeah