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Historical medical poster collection, c. 1946-1950. Cushing/Whitney Medical Library, Yale University.
#vintage advice#PSA#mental illness#1940s#1900s#medical history#vintage psa#mental illness wears a top hat
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Black History Month Isn't Over Just Yet, Help Me Get a Wheelchair!!!
I am a Black Chronically ill/Disabled Lesbian. I have been a mobility aid user for over a decade, and with my most recent illness flare and health set back, I desperately need a wheelchair. I have put off getting a wheelchair for years but my health is to a point where I need a wheelchair to function outside the house or I cant leave my house at all. Being stuck inside my house has done a toll on my mentally, and has prevented me from having consistent meaningful employment.
I have been saving for a wheelchair but I am nowhere close enough to buy the wheelchair I need, new adaptive tech, and the 2 ramps I need for my home. I am hoping to cr*wdfund for just the price of the chair not the ramps or adaptive tech. I need 1,120 to cover the cost of the chair.
CA: $sleepyhen
VN: wildwotko
DM: for PayPl
If you can help I would deeply appreciate it! Getting this chair would mean that I can leave my home safely, regain meaningful employment and see some of my aging elders again!
#black history#black history month#womens history month#chronic illness#chronic pain#heds#pots#black lesbian#idk how to tag stuff anymore#please dont give me unsolicited advice on my health please#i just wanna be able to leave my house as I cant right now and that is making life 100x harder than it needs to be
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a neurodivergent spoonie's guide to having teeth
LEGAL DISCLAIMER: This blog is for educational and informational purposes only. This does not constitute providing medical advice or professional services. Information on this blog should NOT be used for diagnostics or treating a health problem. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified dental health provider regarding diagnosis and treatment of a dental condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this blog.
this is as close to a comprehensive guide to dental care as i can make. i'm autistic/adhd/ocd/chronically ill and i've worked in dentistry for several years. i want to use my knowledge to help other spoonies struggling with dental care. i know it can be really hard, but dental health is so important and we deserve healthy mouths just as much as NT/abled folks!!
being neurodivergent and/or chronically ill can make personal care tasks incredibly difficult. so many of us struggle with washing our hair, getting dressed, and cleaning up. but remember: hair will grow back if it's damaged, clothes can be washed when they smell bad, and a dirty house can be made clean again, but we only have one set of teeth to last our whole lives. those pearly whites are worth taking care of!
these tips are based on feedback/questions i've gotten from ND folks on tumblr and facebook, patients at the practices i've worked in, and my own experience. standard disclaimer that this information will not be applicable to every single person, just take what works for you and pass the rest on to the next person. i am also a resource for further information. this is going to be pretty rapidfire, so if you want me to elaborate on anything or have a question about something i didn't address in this post, my askbox is open and anon is enabled. i love talking about teeth and i would love to help my fellow spoonies take care of theirs!
without further ado:
on homecare:
any dental professional will tell you that having good oral health starts at home. taking care of our teeth can be incredibly difficult when our spoons are low, so i've made a list of strategies to make it easier.
best practice is to brush twice per day and floss once per day. this may not be realistic for those of us who struggle with habits and/or executive dysfunction. if you can only remember to brush once per day, brushing at night is the most important.
the ideal order of operations is floss, tongue scrape, mouthwash, then brush. but flossing and brushing are the most important steps in the routine.
brushing your teeth in the shower is perfectly acceptable! personally, i keep one toothbrush in the shower and one on the sink to maximize my opportunities to brush.
if you don't have the energy to floss, a toothbrush with fine bristles like this one is a good compromise.
you should replace your toothbrush or electric brush head every three months. the bristles get worn down and become less effective over time. set a recurring event on your phone calendar to keep track!
if you find it difficult to brush your teeth at all, use a washcloth to gently scrub your teeth until you feel that you've gotten the film off, then use a fluoride mouthwash. they also make single-use waterless toothbrushes like these. i like to keep them on my nightstand for really bad days when i can't even get myself to the bathroom to brush.
this is an excellent guide on proper brushing technique.
an electric toothbrush is an excellent investment. even a cheap one at the grocery store is a huge step above a manual toothbrush. personally, i love quip because they're more affordable than brands like sonicare, and they send you replacement brush heads on a regular basis.
be careful not to brush too aggressively; your brush should glide gently over the surface of your teeth. if you feel a lot of friction, lighten your pressure. brushing too hard can wear away your enamel and damage your gums.
if the mint flavor in toothpaste triggers sensory discomfort, try kids' toothpaste! it has less fluoride than adult toothpaste, but it's still miles better than not brushing at all.
mouthwash is used to neutralize bacteria on soft tissues. use an antibacterial or fluoride mouthwash for healthy gums and strong enamel. listerine original is the best, but they have lots of varieties including gum health, alcohol-free, and many more.
whenever possible, use a straw to drink soda or coffee so it doesn't touch your teeth, and rinse with water after you drink it. try to not sip sugary drinks throughout the day. switching to sugar-free beverages will make a huge difference in cavity prevention.
if you have any gaps between teeth, an interdental brush will help you keep the areas between those teeth clean and prevent decay.
i like to keep a package of floss picks in the living room so that i can floss while i watch tv. the best time to floss is right before you brush your teeth, but there is no bad time to floss.
this video shows proper flossing technique. this video shows proper technique when using floss picks.
dry mouth is a lesser-known cause of cavities. saliva protects your teeth from decay, so when you don't produce enough of it, you're at higher risk. dry mouth rinses like this one are a great defense against this!
remember, something is always better than nothing. brushing once a day is better than not brushing at all. flossing once a week is better than not flossing at all. be gentle with yourself.
on finding a dental provider:
finding a new provider and making an appointment can be confusing and overwhelming when we have low executive function. there are some ways to make it just a bit easier.
if you have insurance, they likely have a tool on their website to find providers in your network. you can usually find this information on your insurance card. this should narrow down your options considerably.
the absolute best thing you can do is find a supportive provider who you can open up to about your struggles with dental care. look up your options on google reviews and ctrl+f "anxiety". if these anxious patients have a good experience, it's more likely you will too.
you can ask for recommendations in your local community's facebook group or subreddit, both of which offer anonymity. specify your needs in your post. chances are, other people in your community have similar needs, and can help you find the right people to meet those needs.
a few people expressed that they avoid the dentist because of a family history of poor dental health, and the fear of having the same problems. i want to assure you that, while dental health does have a genetic component, it is far from the only factor. the most effective thing you can do to prevent dental issues is to go in for regular maintenance. prevention is the gold standard in dentistry.
a lot of us struggle with making phone calls. luckily, it's becoming increasingly common for practices to allow online booking and communication via email. look for these options on a practice's website!
if fear or executive dysfunction is getting in your way, phone a friend for help. sometimes things that are hard for us aren't as difficult for others. maybe your roommate can call the office for you. maybe your sister can drive you to your appointment. don't be afraid to lean on your village.
in the dental office:
a big issue with dental offices is that they are basically a sensory nightmare. while it's never going to be fully comfortable, there are some things you can do to make your experience more tolerable.
be open and honest with your dental providers. if you smoke, tell them (this includes cannabis; they cannot report you for cannabis use even if you're not in a legal state). if you've never flossed before, tell them. their job is to help you, not shame you. if a provider makes you feel ashamed, stop seeing them.
so many people have mentioned they're embarrassed about their anxiety and sensory struggles in the dental office. let me assure you that your providers see so many anxious patients every single day. they're used to it, and they're not going to be judging you. to help illustrate this, i'm going to cite some examples of patients from my practice and the ways we help them manage their anxiety and sensory struggles.
probably the most common concern among patients in our practice is a fear of the numbing injection. i have a pretty severe phobia of needles myself. our dental assistants are well-trained to manage this fear. they distract patients during the shot, and help them breathe through the anxiety before and after. this training is part of the dental assistant certification process, so it should be relatively universal.
you can bring a comfort item with you. be it a stuffed animal, a video game, a book, even a comforting person who can sit with you.
you know that lead vest that they lay on you when they take xrays? you can ask to wear that during your whole visit. it acts like a weighted blanket and it feels so nice and comforting. we have a few patients who do this at my practice.
headphones or earplugs are a lifesaver to drown out all the horrible sounds. i literally refuse to get a cleaning without them. there's even a hygienist at my practice that wears earplugs while she's working because the sound of the cavitron bothers her. there's no shame in it whatsoever.
if your practice offers it, nitrous oxide is a great option for anxiety. most people know it as laughing gas. it puts you in a dreamlike state so you're more or less unaware of what's going on. no joke, this stuff had me so relaxed i fully fell asleep while getting a root canal. you can even get it when you get your cleanings!
a lot of our patients request a specific doctor, dental assistant, and hygienist for their appointments. this is incredibly common. if you find someone that makes you feel safe, let the scheduling staff know that you'd like to see that person each time you come in.
dress comfy. there's no dress code for the dental office; show up in sweatpants if you want.
remember at the end of the day, your dental providers are not there to judge you if you don't have perfect homecare. their ultimate goal is to get your mouth healthy no matter your starting place. i can't speak for every dentist obviously, but the dentists at my practice are incredibly patient and sympathetic and have nothing but their patients' best interests in mind.
again: if you feel disrespected or shamed by your provider, find a new one who will be compassionate with you. you don't owe any provider loyalty, even if you've been going there since you were a toddler.
on recovery:
one of the hardest things to do is build healthy habits when you're starting from an unhealthy place. if you're dealing with poor dental health, getting your mouth healthy again can seem impossibly daunting. i'm here to tell you it is possible, but it takes work.
it starts in the dental chair. your provider should communicate what treatment is the highest priority, and they will start there. rather than overwhelming yourself with the big picture, focus your attention on the next step.
things like root canals, crowns, and periodontal treatment can be very expensive. unfortunately, in the united states at least, dental insurance is quite lacking across the board. if expenses are a concern, dental schools are a great option for having treatment done at a low cost. keep in mind that treatment will often take significantly longer due to the dentists being supervised students.
my job in the practice is treatment coordinator. this means that i work one-on-one with my patients to help them understand their treatment plans and make the process as easy and comfortable as possible for them. ask your practice if they have a treatment coordinator. if they don't, suggest that they create the role, and reach out to me here. my dream is to be able to help people manage their oral health. i will be a resource to anyone that doesn't have a treatment coordinator available to help you navigate your course of treatment.
any restorative work (fillings, crowns, etc.) that you have done has to be cared for, just like virgin teeth. cavities can still form underneath fillings and crowns. make sure you are keeping your regular hygiene appointments, and use the above strategies to effectively care for your restorations at home.
if you have a lot of treatment to work through, it may take a long time. we have patients that have spent 2-3 years working through their treatment plans with us. this can feel daunting and depressing. but remember, it's not forever. the majority of these patients who continue to see us for regular visits only have 1-2 new cavities at a time, if anything, once we finish their initial work.
there are very few dental problems that cannot be fixed. cavities can be filled, crowns placed, root canals done to save teeth that are severely decayed. gum disease cannot be cured, but it can be very effectively managed. i see patients all the time that come in expecting to lose all their teeth and need dentures, only to be relieved when we tell them only a few teeth are truly not restorable.
my job revolves around patient education, and it's always shocking to me how little we are taught about caring for our teeth. please be kind to yourselves; it is NOT your fault for not knowing or having the resources to take care of them yourself. once again, my askbox is open and anon is enabled if you have more questions after reading this guide.
#text#advice#long post#teeth#oral health#chronic illness#disability#mental health#autism#adhd#ocd#cripple punk#spoonie#chronic fatigue#resource#signal boost
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Writing Advice: How To Trauma
In seeing the recent explosion of my "How To Write Trauma With Humanity" post, I have decided to jump back into this topic!
This cute post will be covering how to write complicated individuals with Trauma. From the good, the bad, and especially the ugly since people tend to assume that victimhood is inherently seperated from assholehood
A) Being A Person And Afraid
In my experience, the majority of people with trauma have simultaneously existing fears and desires that often contradict, complicate, or outright hurt themselves.
I call them "fear combinations"
It's these fear combinations that cause people with trauma to often act in ways that seem confusing to outsiders.
For example, the person that's always on the hunt for a relationship but whenever an opportunity for romance strikes, they create relationship havok so the relationship can end
Or a person tries to always sincerely bring attention to themselves but whenver the attention is on them, they just shrug it off as not being worthy of it
This behavior seems kinda weird until you stop to take a closer look at their psyche.
Example 1 is based off of my character, Monday Vũ who has a tendency of jumping into relationships with a sincere desire to find romance until the honeymoon period ends as Monday realizes that if the relationship continues they might have to settle down, forgo their entire identity, and all of their freedom. Then they sabotage the relationship under the guise that it's a selfless endeavour.
Example 2 is based off my character, Niko Preyr who uses grand public gestures and his friendships to prop himself up as a person to be known but if you ever spoke to him then you would quickly see one of the most insecure yet attention-hungry individuals you have ever seen.
"Fear Combinations" are an excellent device in making your characters complex. In my opinion, the trauma-writing scene is just a little bit too neat in it's displays of trauma. It's too logical. It doesn't feel real to my personal experiences.
"he has trust issues because of trauma" What if he also had issues with being clingy to people he sees as trust-worthy?
What if your characters weren't so easy to understand? But I hear you wondering.
How? How do these people manifest such confusing behavior? Why should I add this into my characters?
I'll tell you
B) Instinct Vs Terror, Fighting Against Yourself
In my opinion, "fear combinations" are either caused by the distortion of a human fear or the event in which an intrinsic desire is contrasted against a "survival method".
Humans are born with certain "intrinsic" fears and desires. Humans are born with a desire for belonging, a desire for vulnerability, a desire for self-fulfillment, a desire for independence, a desire for security in themselves.
And with desire comes the fear of "missing out". The fear that you want something that everyone wants but for some reason you won't be able to get it. The fear that you'll loose it. And the fear that your desire might put you into danger. What if you get rejected? What if you never find that group? What if you never find freedom?
In not-traumatized individuals, while it may take some introspection, people can and often do reconcile their fears and desires in a movie-montage when they're children with the help of a strong support system.
In traumtized individuals, what tends to happen is that either the fear of lose and the fear of gain tend to be increased to unpredencented levels
Either that, or a lack of a strong support system doesn't allow the child to safely confront their fears in order to get what they want.
This causes "fear combination"
Niko Preyr has the natural desire to be validated as "good", as "special", as "worthy". A desire we are all born with. However, his upbringing convinced him that he is underserving of what we all need. This causes Niko Preyr to use attention as validation. However whenever he receives this attention, his gifted fear that he is undeserving causes him to reject the attention. But he continues searching for attention to serve that need for validation. A hellish cycle.
Monday Vũ has two understandable fears that we all have. The fear of losing two necessary things: indepedence and security. Monday fears being abandoned, fears being engulfed into relationships. While children and adults can often reconcile those fears in their childhood through a strong support system, Monday never had that. Instead she had her father who emotionally left her and her mother who literally left her. Monday only had herself to rely on, at least thats how she felt. And now, as an adult, Monday wants to fulfill that desire we all have. To be loved. To be connected. But she's afraid. Afraid of being blindsided. Afraid of not having the last laugh. Afraid of being apart of something.
What if that loner wolf found someone who they think is perfect. Someone worthy of their trust. Do you really think that all those years of yearning for love, for connection, are just going to be smothered when they have the perfect person to unleash their childish, half-developed, horrifying emotions onto?
But what next? After we have our character's contradictory fears and desires, after we have the justification for why they feel like this, what's next?
It's this:
C) Self-Destructive Habits: Why We Understand And Can't Change
Let me tell you, unless in very specific conditions such as certain personality disorders and so on, people tend to understand that their behavior is foolish, illogical, and hurting other people.
Monday knows that betraying other people, hurting their trust and faith in their relationships, and entering relationships when she understands her history is bad. It makes her a bad person.
Niko knows that their habits are actively hurting their chances at finding worth.
That "Lone Wolf" understands, deep down, that no single person can handle the high expectations and emotions.
They know it because they can see it. Many times. Monday can see that characters in movies who have their relationship history tend to be casted as the antagonist. Niko can hear the gossip. That "Lone Wolf" can see the way that their loved ones cracked under the pressure and guilt.
So why do they do it? It feeds into their idea of the world. It feeds into what they want to be perceived as. It feeds into their stagnancy.
If Monday can ignore how they hurt others, then they can live under the Martyr label for the rest of their life without having to come to term with the fact that this isn't selflessness, it's called being pathetic.
If Niko can ignore how deep that hurt goes, then they never have to actually make the effort to change. To take that potential and make themselves into something. To be responsible.
If "Lone Wolf" can ignore how nobody can meet their expectations without crumbling down, then they use everyone's failure to feed into their cynical, self-hating notion of how nobody's trustworthy. How they don't have the responsibility of being considerate.
#writeblr#writing#on writing#creative writing#writing advice#writers on tumblr#writing trauma#trauma#mental illness#tw mental health#tw mental illness#mental health awareness#mental health#writing life#writing tropes#writers#writer#writerscommunity#writers and poets
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Everyone needs this
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accolade
#WOOOOOO i thought of this quite genuinely uhhhhh 6-7 months ago? ish? then i never drew it. got distracted. thats life babey#silver's the next housewarden. he's gonna get dubbed in and he's going to serve the dorm well and they're all so proud of him#what card was it. azul halloween? the one where hes asking azul for housewarden advice to get ppl to listen to him? its CANON FOLKS#ougugh working in black and white for a change. as a TREAT. different rendering styles keep me fresh keep me happy i love it#i render different ways i draw in different styles but no matter what ill always be drawing silver. static subject. i love him#this composition is also a bit funky for me i kinda dig it. anyways#twst#twstファンアート#twisted wonderland#twst silver#malleus draconia#suntails#if any of u know anything abt harrisburg area PA pls give me tips. just in case
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so many therapist bios look identical and i can't possibly go on "first dates" (consultation appointments) with all 2000+ listed providers 😭
#general disclaimer that im not looking for well-meaning advice from strangers im just making a comic. ill figure it out!#my art#comic
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#positivity#love#self love#advice#mental health#mental health support#self care#take care of yourself#op#chronic illness
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caved and put aside what I was doing to draw terzo getting hickies from omega. this ask prompted me to do so.
#my art#suggestive#the band ghost#terzo#digital art#papa emeritus iii#terzomega#terzo x omega#omega3#italian ghesties rate my usage of the language. ill take advice for future proper use 👍#loosin my mind over disheveled terzo. ugh. that face in the first one 😤
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i feel like a lot of people aren't ready to have a disabled partner. not even if you really really really like us, or if you think we're hot, or even if you're disabled yourself.
some of us are never going to improve, and a lot of us will get worse. you have to accept that before getting into a relationship with us because if you don't it's so easy to put us in the position of performing normalcy to not make you sad to be around us.
some of us may need you to help with the things we either have difficulty doing without injury, or cannot do at all. some of us won't remember things, or get confused easily, or have trouble hearing you. unfortunately we can't just get over our disabilities when you're having a hard day, or you're mad at us. and it would be nice if we lived in a world where all disabled people who need carers could have them to make dating (and more importantly, life) easier but very few of us have the ability to get that care.
we're also our own people, and we deserve to have boundaries, desires, and needs. a lot of able bodied people do not see us as fully realized humans with our own internal and external worlds, and you carry that into your relationships with us. this results in either you ignoring our wants out of life because we should be overjoyed we have a life with you at all, or ignoring our boundaries because we really don't know ourselves as well as someone with an outside perspective does.
and to follow the obvious segway; sex. sex can be incredibly complicated when you're disabled. either it being difficult to physically manuever without help. it can be incredibly painful if done incorrectly, or for some incredibly painful no matter what. and for a lot of us, we've faced sexual assault because our assaulters know it's hard for us to fight back, or hard for us to be believed after it happens. some of us can't have sex at all, or don't want to.
also a lot of us cost more money to survive than you do. from specific diets, to medical appointments over and over and over again, to expensive medication and replacable disability devices. hell, a good chunk of us cannot have jobs! or in a lot of places jobs will hire us and pay us a lower minimum wage because society sees us as worth less than you. and we're often under enough stress keeping out heads above water without you also expecting us to be as financially able to do things as you are. and plenty of us are kept trapped in relationships we can't leave because of our limited funds.
please, before you date us actually do even the smallest amount of studying about disability rights, disabled people's lives, and bodily autonomy in general. think of the intersections we exist at as well, disabled people can be black, gay, trans, poor, and any other marginalized group you can think of.
i can recall so many stories of disabled people abused mentally, physically, sexually and financially by people who don't think they're even doing that to us. people who really really really love us, or think we're hot, or are also disabled themselves.
for so many of us our relationships feel like ticking time bombs. we deserve better.
please be better to us.
#disability#disability rights#dating advice#dating while disabled#if any disabled or mentally ill folks need clarification on any meaning my dms or ask box are open
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Things I wish I knew before I got diagnosed with a chronic illness
You’ll forget - Sometimes you’ll straight up forget you have a condition, that you have a disability, and that others don’t feel like you
Your most important job is to stay alive - Everything else is secondary, as long as you stay alive you have achieved something
It’s okay to cry - It’s normal, chronic illness is sucky, but don’t cry for too long or focus too hard on everything that’s wrong because it will make things worse
Your body is in a war, be kind - Your body is constantly fighting against itself, give it time to rest and heal, eat food and drink, do what you can to aid in the battle
If you feel like you can’t do it, you can - Have a cry, eat some ice cream and have a nap, when you wake up you’ll find the strength to keep going
Some advice from younger me; January of 2021 (I just found it stashed away)
#advice#chronic illness#things i wish i knew#disabled#disability#chronic pain#fibromyalgia#chronic nausea#chronic fatigue#cfs/me#hypermobile eds#pots
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Just a reminder that although "my body my choice" is about women [edit: and anyone with the ability to get pregnant] this rule also applies to disabled people refusing treatment and aids.
It's my choice I don't take painkillers for my chronic pain and rather just stay home most of the time and skip lectures.
It's my choice I don't use a cane, even though I have access to one, despite the fact I could walk further with it and not limp.
It's my choice I don't do hearing rehabilitation or wear hearing aids for my APD despite the fact I can't hear lectures or my friends properly.
It's my choice I don't go to therapy or take meds for my disorders.
It's my choice and I don't care what you think. It's my right to choose those things. I know my body the best, you have no say in this.
"But you could hear better! You could not be in pain and walk normally! You could be better!" I don't care. I'm fine being the way I am. I know what's good for me. I know painkillers would hurt my body more then help for at least three reasons. I'm not a child, I know what I want and the consequences of not doing something. My health, my rules.
#disability#spoonie#i don't need your help#or your unsolicited advice#ableism#disability rights#APD#audio processing disorder#auditory processing disorder#adhd#Autism#medication#mobility aid#mobility issues#chronically ill#chronic pain#joint pain#cripple punk#bodily autonomy
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rediscovering shame and giving yourself compassion (how to deal with shame as someone with ADHD)
this is directed towards my fellow ADHDers who have trouble with reoccuring shame while leads to hindered productivity.
signs that your productivity is hindered by shame (compiled by my own experiences):
you feel negative physical symptoms when you think about your responsibilities
you find ways to avoid the responsibilities
every time you make progress, you feel like you don't ever wanna touch it again
when you present your progress, you feel ashamed of yourself because it's not finished (on time & according to ur standards).
you feel like you are a constant failure. you never win, despite achieving good things here and there.
you are a walking ball of anxiety
you have a fear of being perceived
there's probably more, but eh those are just from my own experiences
below i will write down what y'all should remember, what you can do to help yourself, etc. this is compiled from dr k, my own journaling time, and my firsthand experience from having shame 24/7
some things u gotta remember
shame is what exists in the gap between your ideal self and where you are currently.
your ideal self doesn't have to be unrealistic, it can be yourself when you were at your peak or someone who is very similar to you.
shame brings negative thoughts, because it makes you see progress as a negative thing.
instead of being happy that u made progress, u grumble to urself and ask "why didnt i just do it sooner? im so stupid". it's a reminder of your failures, so u avoid progress altogether.
shame can become a part of you, to the point where you feel uneasy or vulnerable if you dont feel ashamed at yourself
shame doesn't do anything to ADHDers in the long run except self-loathing and hindered productivity.
what should u do?
basically self-therapy, but instead of stopping at why, i try to solve my shame one-by-one.
examine past moments where you felt a LOT of shame. this can go back to elementary. the stronger the emotions, the better. now, write them down. you're probably cringing, but that is good. feel all the cringiness running through ur veins.
why did you feel shame? why did it happen? what did you feel?
reframe your thoughts. instead of immediately running away from it, accept it and justify it. give it compassion. give it a hug. was it your 7 year old self? hug yourself. it's okay to fuck up and do silly things sometimes, and it's okay to have ADHD. it's not our fault.
remember that ADHD is a lifelong nerudivergency, you can't just push it away. coping mechanisms and tools help, but give yourself some grace when you screw up. it's our first time living anyway.
calm your body down. make sure your physical body is doing okay.
now... think of one thing you want to do but can't because of shame and do these steps carefully. think of the reasons why you might be ashamed, and reframe your thoughts.
WARNING!! TAKE IT ONE PRESENT ACTION AT A TIME. don't do this for every action you want to take, let your body slowly learn that it's okay to make progress despite the shame you feel, and you are allowed to feel compassion for yourself.
train your body to accept compassion slowly. life is tough with ADHD but it's even tougher knowing that shame will get in your way. give yourself a break, it's fine to fuck up, we all go through different things anyway. even if it's not fine, you will learn and make those mistakes a lil bit lesser in the future.
ok hope this helps.
#mika rambles#neurodivergent#neurodiversity#adhd#actuallyadhd#actually adhd#adhd tips#adhd advice#adhd problems#adhd brain#adhd things#self improvement#mental health#mental illness#advice
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it makes me so so crazy when people are like the existence of magic means that you need to do science to the world harder. this is common in portal power fantasies and also i'm back to reading dogshit hp fic for the fascism essay and it's so common there too. but.
if magic is real i don't know why you'd double down on science (a worldview which doesn't account for magic being real) instead of trying to come up with something interesting to say
scientific rationalism is an incredibly modern worldview and while it's challenging to take yourself out of it bc it's how the vast majority of us were. raised and educated and acculturated. it does feel genuinely disrespectful to the. humanity of people who lived in the past, to me.
like there's plenty of things where historical people were incorrect about the causes or effects of things. but an attempt to make sense of the world that accounts for "things we don't fully understand" is maybe a reasonable approach to bring to things we don't understand yet. including things that are obvious metaphors with some component of truth to them. so like.
do i have ptsd bc of biological changes to my brain. do i have ptsd bc spirits are attacking me. is there a difference.
and it's not like people don't still engage in magical thinking all the time but they pretend it's based on science. like the way people (general people, popular science, not subject matter specialists) talk about chemicals in the brain is absolutely not supported by the actual science, which is a lot better at admitting when it doesn't know something than the popular imagination would like to believe. humans rely on metaphors and stories and things that Feel true in order to make sense of the world and we always have and we always will.
tl:dr you are not better than a peasant from the 1600s because you are lucky enough to have been required to attend a school that taught you the scientific method.
#god forbid a peasant from the 1200s either yknow. think about how recent mass literacy is!#and if you were chronically ill and constantly being given advice by modern healthcare grifters you might be more consciously aware of this.
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Why shit like this is so hurtful to people with chronic illnesses:

I get it, if you're having a (light) depressive episode, things like this will definitely help, but ppl treat them as if they were The Cure™️ for everything, regardless of factors like severity of symptoms etc, making ppl like me feel bad bc they can't do it (like "it's your own fault that you're feeling bad, go read a book, it'll help" - no, it won't).
#fuck mental health advice#not every “live laugh love” quote will heal mental health issues#you're not a bad person if you're mentally ill#you're not a bad person if you don't try things like yoga#you're not a bad person if you tell ppl to shut up if they say “have you tried...”#cfs/me#cfs#fibromyalgia#chronic fatigue#chronic pain#chronic fatigue syndrome#chronically ill#chronic illness#autism#adhd#mental health
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me: *aroace* how do I write a date?
#ao3#codywan#ao3 writer#star wars#commander cody#obi wan kenobi#star wars au#ive decided its at a festival#does one bribe vendors to ensure it goes well?#or have i been interacting with too much batman media?#what does one talk about on a date as a mandalorian teen?#trauma?#they have chaperones like its a victorian era romance#...maybe ill go read some victorian era romances#writing advice#aroace#aromantic#asexual#i see you liking this and not actually helping me#wp writes
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