#this is about terrifier 1 & 2
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This was going to be a panel of a little comic but I got too invested in drawing minute background details so, here.
#They are having an argument over 1) whether crops can be grown on the moons 2) what - if any - impact does this have on the feasibility#of an afterlife being located on the moons#Brakul is a partial convert to the Imperial Wardi faith but this mostly entails having adopted the seven faced God (and some#other elements of the belief system) into his worldview and participating in expected rites while retaining his central#ancestor veneration practices completely unchanged and mostly prioritized.#This doesn't actually cause much friction in of itself with the big exception being disagreements on the afterlife#Wardi practices surrounding death prioritize proper handling of the corpse and funerary rites in order to get the dead where they#need to be- death is a fraught transition from one state to another. analogous to birth. The role of the living is to get the dead through#this transition (preventing them from being stuck earthbound as earthbound ghosts - which is the Bad afterlife). Once the dead#make it to the moons that's it. They don't really interact with the living. There's plenty of conceptualization of what it's Like#in the lunar lands but the cultural priority is not even slightly on the Logistics of existence there.#Whereas the CORE of religious practice among the Hill Tribes is ancestor veneration - ancestors remain interactive with the living#and require/desire their continual support. They are conceptualized as having earthlike 'lives' where they eat and drink#and grow crops and herd livestock and they need the support of the living (in prayers and offerings) to do so prosperously.#There is a HIGH cultural priority on the logistics of their afterlife and it's self-apparent that the world of the dead needs fertile earth#to support them.#So like bottom line Brakul thinks there's no goddamn way that the moons could support an afterlife (they are described as#barren rock that was flung into the sky during creation and certainly Look that way)#and that the Wardi are just wrong about their afterlife's location. They probably go to the celestial fields (which are located#behind the moons and stars) like everyone else#And Janeys finds this aggravating and doesn't see his fucking point but has developed a nagging concern that Brakul Could be#partly right in that the celestial fields could Maybe exist in addition to the lunar lands.#So like maybe they aren't going to go to the same place when they die?#He's already terrified that he'll be stuck as an earthbound ghost and really doesn't want to be even further separated so#he figures he should make sure he gets himself dead and cremated at the same time as Brakul so they can navigate the#transitional period together.#Brakul is unconcerned because he figures that if Janeys actually does get stuck on those barren ass moons he can just kinda#Go Get Him#Ancestor spirits fly to the earth all the time and the moons would be a much shorter distance. Probably wouldn't be an issue.#Long story short these disagreements and underlying anxieties result in fights over whether you can grow corn on the moons or nah
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y'all need to get a grip. you blab all day about how much you hate bigots and hateful people and how evil it is to dehumanize anyone and then you turn around and say "kys" and "i think [x] should all just kill themselves" and other disgusting, violent and childish trash
so many people on here are just full of hatred and vitriol and turn into frenzied sharks anytime the target 'deserves it' and they think they can get away with it and not be called bad people. then they whine about how sad it is that we can't all just get along and if only all the evil people in the world would stop doing evil things wouldn't that be nicer
you're just as vicious, hypocritical and fanatically puritanical as the caricature you have made in your minds of the people you think you have nothing in common with. if you've ever told someone, ANYONE to kill themselves you're not advocates of justice, you're not artisans of peace, and you certainly don't have any moral high ground that would allow you to pass judgment on others
#i'm tired#you're so terrified of being bad people that you convince yourselves you could *never* be bad#and then any expression of hatred towards others (the “bad people”) gets reframed as proof of your own moral character#((making you even more afraid of being bad because you don't want to be at the receiving end of the hatred and so on and so forth))#you can say whatever you want about religious people and esp christians but 1) you're as religious as they are but at least they know it#and 2) most of the christians i've met are magnitudes more forgiving of others than this website's self-righteous preachers#(this isn't about anything people have said to me btw it's about what i see reading blogs from all across the social/political spectrum)#this about the radfem-hating liberals and the pro-life-hating radfems and the liberal-hating pro-lifers. Round and round we go#it’s about the people who put rabid antisemitism on my dash and whose only socio-political analysis is to call EVERYTHING bad#“Just like nazism”#Yapping about how much more moral and enlightened they are than ppl who introduce nuance into complex topics while they parrot slogans#I hate slogans so bad
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Can we just talk about the stark contrast between these two clips? The persona is so different
(GIF by @aegonx )
#aegon targaryen#tgc’s acting is amazing#he looked so terrified and sad in season 1#to looking angry and bitter in season 2#maybe even more cocky and confident#wondering if the clips in the trailer are post blood and cheese#can’t stop thinking about it#hotd#house of the dragon#house targaryen#aegon ii targaryen#team green
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The childlike penmanship and utter abundance of hiragana and katakana that has its own implications aside, I was going to talk about how sweet and sad it was that the only kanji Shouma knows is "mother" (母). But then someone told me he also knows the kanji for "help [me]" (助)...that certainly adds to the context of Shouma's memories of his mother mainly being shrouded in fear
#14shyx#kamen rider#kamen rider gavv#kr.gavv: episode 1#gavv spoilers#(thanks to lucy for telling me about the 助 bc i couldn't read shouma's handwriting for that part ^^;#+ haven't gotten around to reading the letter while listening to the voiceover ^-^ <3)#the memories so far consist of: 1) she's warning him to not eat evil gummies#2) screaming as she gets eaten 3) throwing herself over a terrified shouma when they got cornered; and#4) while this isn't an on-screen memory she only taught shouma 母 and 助 because his mum is all he has on a planet filled with pg cannibals#...no wonder he had that panic attack :D *i* would probably have a panic attack#poor boy i hope you can live in a warm safe home and have access to an all-you-can-eat dessert buffet :(#cough right after you snap like a twig once or twice coUGH
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For reference about what i said about Enid's werewolf height the other day, this is how crazy her size is in wednesday's description in the novel and i hope SO MUCH they never change it cause it's both fun and funny as fuck
Example 1:
Example 2:
Example 3:
And now the side by side with my favorite werewolves one of them having until now the title of biggest werewolf
PLEASE NETFLIX THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY IT OPENS SO MANY POSSIBILITIES, KEEP IT, like, bring it into the show, also because the novelization as many others more likely than not was based on the show's early development and then still got approved in the end means that despite the weird ass golden retriver we got they were probably really going for a horror inducing werewolf in the finale, in the final side by side specifically if she was on all fours like in the show she would still be around Van Helsing's own height, this is insane, can my fellow werewolf nerds come talk about this we got a gold mine here on teenage show territory and i need more
#wednesday addams#wednesday netflix#blood moon wolf fanfics just got more to work on#enid sinclair#wenclair#because wednesday who was crazy about werewolves as a child addams would have a bigger crush than she does in the start#werewolf tumblr#WEREWOLF NERDS ASSEMBLE#hell i also want to know which “type” of werewolf she is in the novel if its the same as the show#or if netflix is still not fully sure were she will land when it comes to being fully turned#she's a “hispo” in the show very ginger snaps like#but we know she can be a “glabro” because of the use of the claws and strenght in seaosn 1 as well as the leaks on season 2#maybe she can shift through the phases? im not sure they know were to land in werewolf mythology or if they will do their own thing#there are peculiarities about enid like how shes visibly in control or at least favorable to wednesday while turned#despite the show itself telling us there are cages for the werewolf students#aaaanyway please someone talk about this im so excited even if netflix dont have the guts(money) to do that level of cgi anytime soon lmao#hopes on a later or final season tho#werewolves#van helsing#mega lycan#tyler galpin is also around 3 meters tall as The Hyde but the show perspective make him seem smaller with the hunchback and the way he walk#wednesday would want to make tests and enid would be terrified but its nit like they are very good at saying no to each other
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I’m rereading Po3 and despite its flaws I really enjoyed the introduction to the three. Jaykit isn’t mentioned to be blind in the first few chapters and instead they chose to show how much MORE capable he is compared to his littermates; until at the end of chapter 3, he brings up his blindness on his own. It makes forcing him to be a medicine cat SO much more frustrating because it really feels like they’re setting him up to be a warrior and choose his own fate (note i haven’t finished the reread this is just my first impression)
I like how you seem to take that path in BB regardless! It makes his arc so much more enjoyable
His arc in canon is super frustrating because he's such an independent character who clearly wants to make his own decisions in life, but then he just gets shoved into the medcat den. I LIKE that he ultimately goes there and that he enjoys it; but it was still really fucked up that they stripped away his autonomy in the process.
Re: they are not real, they are writing choices. Taking away the choices a disabled character can make over their own life, forcing them into a celibate nun role, and then going "awwwww dont worry see? he likes it! This was the best thing for him :)" was fucked up.
And imo it didn't have to be that way! You wouldn't have to go the FULL route I did with big changes, he could just be more involved in the descision to stop being a warrior apprentice and it would be fine. Minor change that would make a world of difference.
I do also have to interject to say though... blindness should really not be an extremely severe impairment for a ThunderClan cat.
I'm dead serious.
Whiskers are built-in sensors that tell you the exact position of everything within several inches of your head, ears swerve to pick up sound, and the jacobson's organ provides a sense of smell so keen that I have an entire Clanmew expansion draft because I needed to make WORDS describing the power of this sense that humans do not have. I cannot stress enough how delicate their other senses are, felines do not rely on their sight like primates do
ThunderClan lives in a mixed-oak woodland, where sight is already often obscured by foliage, objects are close together (for whiskers to feel), and nearly every movement makes noise against the leaf litter. RiverClan and (moor-running) WindClan cats would have a harder time with this disability than Thunder or Shadow.
Cat sight SUCKS to begin with. It sucks BADDD. They don't have color vision, they're significantly nearsighted, and they can't track up-and-down movements well. WC doesn't write realistic cats (more like small fuzzy people really) and I also work with more humanesque eyesight, but the only thing Jay should really lose is an ability to rapidly track a small animal swerving fast. Blind cats are often still excellent hunters in spite of that!
So it's an extra big waste that they railroaded him into a position he didn't choose, saying he couldn't be a warrior. This is the perfect disability to write, if you want to explore how ableism can impact the characters in this society who ARE legitimately still capable of nearly full independence, but still need to find accommodations for what they can't do.
In the same arc they're doing the dumb Cinder Reincarnation Plotline, no less!! Where SHE is also feeling like she has no choice over her "destiny," and gets a conflict over a potentially disabling injury
"Oh nooo if cinderpaw breaks her leg she wont be a warrior!"
"What the f-- Im Jaypaw and im reporting live from the scene where a Category 1 Idiot Moment is taking place. Woman breaks leg, suddenly everyone believes she is a horse, more at 11."
One of these days I should really make "herb guides" just covering how various sensory disabilities impact the lives of Clan cats and some tips for writing them as warriors, especially between Clans. Stuff you wouldn't usually consider, like how much noise deaf cats tend to make, how RiverClan would get a ton of sinus infections and lose their sense of smell, being blind in Sky vs Thunder, etc.
#I once saw someone say offhandedly 'well what if someone snuck up on jay from behind and attacked him. No whiskers there'#NEWSFLASH! YOU ALSO DONT HAVE EYES IN THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD#He doesn't have short whiskers either they're normally sized#Something like 4 - 5 inches on a cat like him. About double the size of the head foward and sideways#Once you're talking about close combat like the cats usually do there's no way that you can stay back far enough to avoid them#I want to rewrite owl and jay's fight or make a rematch where jay realizes owl is being a coward#Hanging just out of his range and jabbing at him#But once he realizes it's just a coward's strategy it clicks that the counter is to be aggressive#And not let his opponent out of his 'range'#Also give him a neat little scene where they're grappling next to Black's dam project where it's super muddy#And Jay is like 'YOU WANT TO PLAY DIRTY? LETS GET FILTHY' and dunks Owl's face down into the mud#Because Jay can fight without his sight but Owl doesn't know how to continue while there's stinging gunk in his eyes and nose#I like thinking about what I'm going to do for BB!Jay's matches because his fighting style is really fun to write#1. Be aggressive and proactive 2. Don't let them out of range 3. SCARE THEM#From the Mud Match he learns that the best way to end a fight quickly is to absolutely terrify them#Because they're usually not expecting the fight to be difficult nor are they expecting to feel like theyre in danger#So if you surprise them it breaks their willpower real fast#And as he gains a reputation for brutality he faces less opponents until he's practically known as the Cleric Without Mercy#Bone babble
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Slowly rotating designs for the meat marionette bodies.
Only sketched Dick & Bruce for now, but I like to think that they're partially made from their own blood. Any corpse that doesn't make it to the morgue, human or animal, might get dragged down by tendrils Gemini Home Entertainment style to the Hive.
Apologies if I am spamming, but what do you think @phoenixcatch7? Tried to make Dick look slightly more mammalian or avian compared to Bruce but idk if that came through lol.
#meat marionette au#batman#batman au#dcu#dc#body horror#sketch#art#Bruce is like 15 foot tall if including the ears lol#Dick is like 4 to 4 1/2 feet tall#Of course this is if they're standing on their legs and not on all fours#Random thing but Bruce definitely picks up his kids by their necks like a big mama cat lol#Also helps preens their wings especially since they have feathers unlike him#You can't tell me they can't contort their limbs or turn their head a solid 180 or even more#Omg the kids can use their tails to hang from things upside down or from Bruce's arms like shopping bags lmao#Curse you ADHD for latching on#Knowing it I will get a lot done in like 3 days and then procrastinate for months after lol#Y'know I wonder what Commissioner Gordon thinks about the Bat & what Gothamites in general feel about them#Like they're visibly protecting them but that doesn't make them any less unnerving or terrifying y'know#The bats might not kill but that is in fact a *threat*#Fun fact did you know over half your bones are in your hands :)
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For any Nevermoor fans that've ever been interested in getting their hands on the UK hardcover editions of the series, with the wonderful cover designs..... I think they might be out of print (which. makes sense with the gold foil) so. goodluck and godspeed for finding them secondhand, because it was surprisingly hard to do online.
#nevermoor#full disclosure I discovered this like a month ago but wanted to wait until all of mine arrived correctly to share just in case 🫣🫣🫣#I was terrified they’d send paperbacks or non-UK editions instead lol#I now have three sets of first three books. mental illness. can silverborn come out already 😭😭😭#afaik the wundersmiths are still in stock officially just based on some wording the supply is dwindling lol#got nevermoor and wundersmith in the mail the other day as I posted about. 😁.#hollowpox arrived today from a different seller and with less damage from the transit but oh well#bc one seller had 1 and 2 while another had 3. 🤷😔 lol#they do seem to be in stock signed! normally + used but I didn’t want that bc I think the neon plain sprayed edges are soooo ugly I’m sorry#also I’d love to get my books signed personally one day. all….. nine and counting of them…… lolllll….#I have the american hollowpox signed bc I got it thru the owlcrate box which was fun!#RIP to chances of a silverborn box though now that owlcrate jr is discontinued 😭😭😭
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Absolutely love this picrew so I had to make my wardens, hawke and Inquisitor! If you see this feel free to do it too!! (And maybe tag me, I'd love to see y'all's DA characters!!)
A bit about each of them:
Valda Aeducan x Leliana
Named after a former great queen of the aeducan house, Valda is a proud warrior with her mother's eyes and her father didn't even try to hide that she was his favorite, causing both brothers to resent her...(Also, all dwarves can grow beards! Most women in orzammar just chose not to... probably due to a human lover of a paragon at one point who accidentally made it a fad in her time lol...When she gets to the surface Valda starts to occasionally grow hers out)
Antoinette "Atton" Tabris x Morrigan
Atton is very butch and most non elves mistake her as a man, something she used to her advantage to survive the alliangae, she's a rogue with quick hands and a quicker wit. she has a lot of rage against nobles and she doesn't try to hide it (she and Valda exist in tandem and it takes *awhile* for them to get along)
Marian "Rain" Hawke x Isabela x Merrill
("Wow hawke, how come the Maker lets you have TWO GFS?!") To strangers she's a sarcastic ass who comes across as borderline lackadaisical, but her inner circle knows shes extremely driven and can be deadly serious when needed, had a twin brother who died at ogstagar to save carver so he in turn could save their family, it took her well over a year to even say his name again.
Pallegina Trevelyan x Sera (Trevelyan)
Youngest of seven, greatness was never really expected of Pallegina, who was always a bit quiet and socially awkward, she didn't take to politics as quick as her siblings, and was usually just ignored by her parents, but one of her older brothers trained her with the sword and shield and she proved to be a natural warrior, she was sent to the conclave as an expendable formality. Thanks to the support of her friends she's taken to being the inquisitor remarkably well... tho Josephine often has to work overtime to fix her many faux pas
#unfortunately Atton is currently the most under developed bc shes actually a revamp (lesbian edition tm) of 1 of my very first playthroughs#dragon age origins#dragon age#dragon age 2#dragon age inquisition#my hawkes a mage but i could write a page about how she feels guilt at living when Bethany didnt#that of the two Bethany was the good pious and repentful mage#... that if the maker was going to spare an apostate it should have been her little sister#and she knows her silence on her brother (Garrett)s death eats away at carver whos too terrified at facing her blame to bring it up himself#it kills leandra who wants to talk about her son & not let him become a faded memorybut dosent want to cause her daughter more anguish#anyways i talk too much#crazy i didnt even go into the li dynamics they have lol#wow Tumblr refuses to format this correctly huh
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I saw Terrifier 1 & 2 and the All Hallow's Eve movie Art the Clown came form. It was a fun Halloween season. I'm surprised with how good Terrifier 2 is as a movie.
#terrifier#art the clown#terrifier 1#terrifier 2#terrifier 2 makes me curious about what lore they had planned for art the clown#i thought he was just some crazy killer guy but he is supernatural apparently
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Night at the Museum: Redesigning Characters 1/4(?)
Character profile: Frank "Noses" Capone
This character is based off of and takes inspiration from the historical Frank Capone.
Real Name: Salvatore "Frank" Capone
Nickname and Meaning: Noses - He got this nickname from being inquisitive and being unafraid to stick his nose into other people's business, even if it gets him into trouble.
Age: 28 (July 16, 1895)
Time Period: Frank is from America's Prohibition in the 1920s, to be exact, hes from April 1st, 1924 Chicago, just before he and a group of Mafioso's went to the polling station near the Western Electric Hawthorn plant.
Family: James "Jimmy" Vincenzo Capone, Raffaele "Ralph" James Capone, and Alphonse "Al" Gabriel Capone + Three younger brothers and one sister that wasn't brought back.
(Headcanons under the cut)
Based on/taken from History:
involved in the Five Points Gang with mobster John Torrio as a kid
Rumored to be queer because he never had an open interest in women/having sex with women like his brothers
Had a kid??? But then took it away from his fiancé??
Nickname was Noses?
Smartest of the eldest Capones
Killed when 70 plain clothes police officers arrived at W 22nd St & S Cicero Ave, Cicero, IL 60804 on April 1st, 1924. He didn’t have time to pull his gun out and was shot so many times, two other bystanders were killed/injured
described as mild-mannered, intelligent and immaculately-dressed
Thought to have ordered 500 deaths since joining the Chicago outfit (1919-1921 to 1924)
“you never get no talk back from a corpse”
+ Intelligent + Social + Hard-working - Quick to anger - Unstable moods
My own silly headcanons:
Can be level-headed, but usually his anger gets the best of him.
His presence calms Al down a lot. His brother really loves him and missed Frank. Frank reminds Al of simpler times when they’d run errands for their old boss Torrio… now Al’s boss.
Represented by clover/clubs. The club symbol represents the summer season and the earth element. The club suit in cards indicates youth, a phase when a person focuses on education, and recklessness.
Frank has matching pins with Al, Jimmy, and Ralph, each brother taking a playing card suit. The brothers made them together with old scrap metal they found in the Navy yard.
Sticks his nose where it doesn’t belong. He likes putting himself in the middle of gossip circles. When he’s not purposefully antagonizing Napoleon to get a reaction, they get along really well because of this.
Wiggles his nose when he thinks hard
Tallest of the Capone brothers (6’1)
Broken out of the museum in search of the closest liquor store out of pure boredom. They tried to pay with greyscale $50s and promptly got kicked out.
A little bit of a sadist.
Gets very violent when he’s upset and enjoys it. Frank doesn’t usually feel bad about his previous actions
Frank: My furby died in my arms when I was a child Ivan: I’m sorry to hear that..? Frank, grinning and joking slightly: Don’t be. I’ve never felt more like a god.
He’d be on Booktok
Like his brothers, Frank will flirt with anyone. Unlike his brothers, Frank is mostly doing it to tease and have fun.
Sucker for hallmark movies
Jerma vibes
His ears turn red when he lies (credit to @frombottlealleytotheharbor for this one)
Frank’s Tommy is a replica whereas his Smith & Wesson Model 10 is from a photo/cutout. His Tommy doesn’t work at all, but his handgun can- he just doesn’t have any bullets.
The Model 10 is named Peggy and the Tommy is Doll
….. don’t call him Frankie unless your family.
Jimmy Consentini belongs to @all-yn-oween. I had to draw him and Frank together because (I think) they both have two-piece suits.
Plain clothes Napoleon is inspired by this and something I have scheduled.
Al, Ralph, Napoleon
#Frank Capone natm#Frank Capone#NATM#natm au#night at the museum ocs#night at the museum#Night at the museum 2#Night at the museum battle of the Smithsonian#NATM 2#Al Capone#Al Capone natm#please add on your own headcanons onto this#I’d love to read them!!#A little off topic#he’s been haunting my dreams#I’ve been so nervous to go see where he died he’s been entering my very lucid dreams#He’s genuinely scary#don’t like him currently#doesn’t mean he’s not my baby girl still#just#that’s he’s fucking terrifying#Mf been standing over me#(i have really bad anxiety and it makes me hallucinate when I’m stressed)#Apr. 1#2024#Apr. 2024#this also slightly feels like the Thomas Jeffferson Miku binder post and I’m really fucking nervous about posting this.#just because of that#I just want to make refs for characters I like and chatter about#Queued post!
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ok so i Did Say that Lois does not get queers because of Bel Thorne. But she DID ALSO make a five-god pantheon in which one of the gods presides over disasters, the overlooked, the unchampioned, and the gays. this god is called the Bastard. could not possibly be better
#every time the Bastard comes up you know it's gonna be a great time#i'm on book 2 of the world of the five gods and it's getting me just as good as vorkosigan saga#i am not finished with vorkosigans i'm just waiting for my next hold to come in#caz is incredible i am extremely fond of him#and i should have known book 2 would be about the other most interesting person in book 1. who i thought was dunzo!!#it's already gone 3 more places than i thought it was gonna go in the whole book and i'm only 20% of the way through#I SHOULD KNOW BY NOW#also the way religion works in her world?????#it's very catholic-coded but like. the kind where nuns would spontaneously get the stigmata u know what i mean#actual direct divine intervention WOULD be terrifying!!#the world of the five gods
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#Taylor does not have a beef with Olivia I PROMISE you she does not gaf.#‘Taylor is sooo threatened and jealous of her!’….literally WHAT is there to be jealous of from Taylor’s pov?#I’m not saying that to diss on Olivia at all#I love her!#but Taylor is the most successful artist in the world. I promise you she is not threatened by any other artist on the charts.#especially not a 21 yr old playing arenas. they are in entirely different stratospheres.#and like. yes there WAS a time when Taylor feared being replaced/was terrified of the next new thing#but. considering Point A (she's the biggest current musical act on the planet)#I Do Not Think She Cares Anymore.#Clara Bow is literally ABOUT THIS!!!#in conclusion: the overlap between those fears in her past and Olivia’s rise does not and has not ever existed#AND SHE DIDNT EVEN F-ING SUE HER#Olivia doesn’t talk about her anymore bc 1) she’s prioritizing her own identity as an artist 2) certain stan swifties are bullying losers.#like. i truly think that’s the full story. sorry it's more boring than what the rumor mill has come up with but.#(I’m sorry I just saw a post that pissed me OFF lol)#ts
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Sometimes, when people try to invoke "trans-inclusive" bioessentialism in their arguments, I want to ask exactly what about our assigned sex says about our place in society, and ask how they've worked that into their worldview in a way that somehow simultaneously doesn't deny who we are and includes the fact that a trans experience will mean that we navigate the world in often very different ways than our cis peers, and often bucks the trends of what is commonly experienced by cis people
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#transphobia#transphobia tw#biological essentialism#bioessentialism#(mentions of SA and transmisogyny after this tag)#saw somebody saying that 'AMABs' essentially don't have to worry about SA...#...but 'AFABs' do because 'that's what they were raised in'...#...ignoring 1.) trans people AMAB are disproportionately aware of SA and its affects and...#...2.) nowhere in 'AFAB' biology dictates that they have a sixth sense surrounding anything adjacent to SA#i only started being terrified of being targeted AFTER i came out as a trans man and AFTER i started presenting male#where does that put me? how am i 'more aware' than a trans woman who is deeply aware of what SA is and looks like because of *experience*#this is why incorporating bioessentialism and thinking you can revive it but make it better by being trans-inclusive will NEVER work#you are operating on a FUNDAMENTALLY patriarchal understanding of human experiences/development/societal placement#you are still upholding the exact same tennents of patriarchy and who it protects and subjugates#(not only that but in they took to attention directly away from an artist with trauma about SA and made it about sex)#(like great... glad we're *still* treating survivors like shit by ignoring their stories/art/messages/experiences (sarcasm))
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It's been so long since the last time I hallucinated that I forget how jumpy and skittish I get afterwards guhhhh
#im okay the hallucinations werent bad in what i saw and felt but#struggling with sleep and perceiving reality can individually trigger me a loy#so combining them made for a combo that wouldve been devastating hadnt i come this far in recovery#and it helped that friend was there to help me talk through it#but man i still notice how affected i get by it#every little noise every little shadow im jumping and freaking out by reflex over the most minor things#even my sibling walking up without me realizing terrified me in a way it doesnt normally#and again what i saw and perceived during the hallucinations wasnt even bad!!!#i just cant seem to shake off the awful feelings afterwards even when i dont panic about it#i was told by doctor who helped me getting on meds back in the day that like#id likely always be prone to various degrees of relapse during stress#which i noticed a lot#but its been 2 years of relative peace and 1 year since i shook off the last remnants affecting me daily#and even in just that year i somehow forgot just how easy it is to fall back into those fears#but im calm rn and able to sit outside in the dark without feeling even a smidge of fear#so jumping from noises is fine all things considered#the fact that i even got to this point is proof enough#anyway sorry for venting#silvi talks
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need to stop naming fics the way i do it's giving me heart palpitations. can't talk about anything that happens in a circular fashion and i canNOT be around when technology is on the fritz and flashing red warning lights. GOD.
#cuips talking#my mom has a baby monitor on her new puppy which is 1. hilarious#2. TERRIFYING when i am talking to her about it breaking down and she says The Phrase
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