#im okay the hallucinations werent bad in what i saw and felt but

[nabaath-areng]

It's been so long since the last time I hallucinated that I forget how jumpy and skittish I get afterwards guhhhh

[groundramon]

Honestly i like how that one ace dis/course post i posted, about not all asexuals being cishet (which is obviously true), instead of people saying “yes I agree regardless of my opinion on the discourse”, I got two people asking where (one of them asked nicely though), and two people (one of which also asked where, but in a denying sense as opposed to a legitimate question) saying “um ace people arent oppressed sweaty :)” even though literally my point wasn’t that ace people are lgbt, its that not all asexual people are cishets, and one of the people who was saying ace people werent oppressed straight-up proved my point by calling us late bloomers and, again, calling us fucking straight.  No ace ex/clusionists would put aside their opinion and say “yes I agree” and if that isn’t telling idk what is :)

I thought there were good, non-a/phobic ace ex/clusionists out there but that belief is getting really fucking tested.  And miss me with that “but im asexual and an ace ex/clusionist!!!” shit because asexuals can be a/phobic just like gay people can be homophobic and trans people can be transphobic.

Also putting in slashes because im fed up and i dont think im going to post in the ace dis/course tag anymore because i dont want to debate this with people who dont care about asexuals anymore.  I’ve seen plenty of proof to back up my opinions and despite keeping open ears, almost every ace ex/clusionist i talk to talks to me in a dismissive way.  Yes I say dumb shit but when approached i try to be as nice and understanding as possible, and I ask legitimate questions and prove my points with evidence instead of resorting to common ace ex/clusionist rhetoric.  I think I remember having...one good interaction with an ace ex/clusionist in this tag?  One.  And even then I dont remember if im hallucinating it or if it actually happened because my memory is shit.  All the others have been dismissive and i felt on edge during the entire debate.  I dont need you to suddenly convert for me to feel like we had a “good” interaction, I just need you to acknowledge when I have a point instead of ignoring all my good arguments and going after the one paragraph where I misspoke because im a fucking idiot and i make mistakes like that.  And I mean, I dont think I’ve had /bad/ interactions per say either (except the anon who came into my inbox calling me a straight cis girl, that was fun lmao) but i dont like stressing out because i feel like someone hates me just because i wanted to debate with them.

I’m tired of my identity and people like me being made fun of in the LGBT+ community.  I could care less if you’re an ex/clusionist, but there’s so much rampant a/phobia going on in the ace ex/clusionist side and all you guys do is ignore it or defend it.  I’m tired of asexuals being dehumanized and I’m tired of ace ex/clusionists posting negativity in the ace positivity tag - which to be fair, i think I mightve seen an ace ex/clusionist say not to do that last one, but I still cant remember for sure and that’s just one example of aphobia out of many that i saw called out.  We’re more invisible than a lot of LGBT+ identities, and yet you think it’s okay to make fun of us in the one area where we ARE acknowledged?  What the fuck?

And if you’re an ace ex/clusionist who somehow found this post, please dont say anything unless you’re willing to debate and promise not to have any bad feelings towards one another unless like....it turns out im an actual homophobe or something.  I’m tired.  I’m tired of my identity being mocked.  I’m tired of defending my experiences and the experiences of my fellow asexuals.  I’m trans, I should feel welcomed in this community, and yet its not the TERFs that are making me feel unwelcome, its YOU.  I’m not saying ace ex/clusionists or even aphobes are as bad as TERFs, but I’ve felt a lot more isolated from this community for being an ace/aro than being nonbinary.  If you’re an ace ex/clusionist and you’re interested in the proof I have backing up my side then I’d be happy to give it to you, but not on this post.  Send me an ask, or something, and if you want me to post it privately just tell me.  But not here.  Not now.  Not tonight and probably not for a few days.

I’m tired.  I’m so tired.  I’m so fucking tired.  I know I’m the one who posted in the ace dis/course tag but I’m not going to anymore.  I’m tired of debating with hostile people who act like they know everything and that their opinion is superior to mine.  Because at the end of the day, ace inclusion is an opinion - now its arguable if its an opinion that people shouldn’t be shamed for, but honestly as an overly tired asexual aromantic in/clusionist, i still think its just an opinion.  But a/phobia is not an opinion, its discrimination, and it’s rampant among your community.  Fix your a/phobia problem (and the fact that people deny a/phobia because :) clearly not. whats funny is that those people that deny it are also usually the a/phobes) and then we can talk.