#this is a small thing bc im trying to keep myself to my limits and make something im happy with

[komystda]

here is Half of the little character animation im working on for tim, thinking i will try to colour it and stuff as well so this may take a liiittle while

[pinkpigtailsprincess]

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ Dollies 63 Days of Summer Glow up!! Day 1 > Prep 🎀☀️🐬

Hii Dolls!! 🎀 Welcome 2 my newest series of my 2 month long summer glow up process its pretty self explanatory but im gonna be documenting my 2 month long summer glow up process 2 just be a better me!! enjoy!! ☀️

DISCLAIMER!! ; i will censoring and dancing around certain topics just bc ik they can be triggering to some folk that have issues so cw; vauge mentions of w3!ght!! 💗

Stage 1 : Health! ☀️

It always important to keep up with ur health obvii 2 maintain good balance in life! ☀️

𐙚 𓈒 ݁ ₊ Diet!! 🍏

Now diet wise i already do have a pretty balanced and healthy diet to begin with so i won’t have to that much work on my diet but i definitely wanna make small improvements!!🎀

𐙚 𓈒 ݁ ₊ Diet Goals!! 🍋

incorporate different from my usual ones fruits!!

expand my palate (chronic picky eater)

making more meals that are still healthy & tasty but not repetitive!!

not skipping my meals!!

cutting out all meats except fish!!

push myself to like cucumbers

get back into drinking more fruit water!!

stop eating so much cheese!

knowing my limit when eating!

𐙚 𓈒 ݁ ₊ Exercise !! 🧘‍♀️

Doing more exercise is definitely a huge one for me because there was a point where i did it daily but then i stopped bc i feel into a rut but then i started again but only once a month so im trying to get back into daily exercise!!

𐙚 𓈒 ݁ ₊ Fitness Goals!! 🧘‍♀️

workout more than once a month!

do more yoga + cardio + home pilates

use exercise to make me healthier & happier

lose w*ight i won’t disclose how much i want to loose and how much i wanna be bc that’s personal 2 me !!

feeling comfortable in my body + build discipline

𐙚 𓈒 ݁ ₊ Oral Health !! 🪥

I Will say i did recently update my oral hygiene routine bc i got braces so now i have to do more work but i definitely wanna still add things to it!!

𐙚 𓈒 ݁ ₊ Oral Health Goals !! 🦷

consistently floss in the morning as well as night

buy a tongue scraper

get an electric toothbrush

start oil pulling

𐙚 𓈒 ݁ ₊ Mental Health !! ☀️

I Sooo wanna improve some thing in my mental health bc obviously its super important to not only take care of my physical health but my mental health!! 🎀

𐙚 𓈒 ݁ ₊ Mental Health Goals !! 🧁

get back into journaling

get back into meditation

step out of my comfort zone

build more confidence in social settings!

replace most phone time with reading time

spend more time outside

prioritizing rest more

not being to hard on myself

celebrating all my wins and accomplishments no matter how big or small!

Stage2 ೀ⋆ : Hygiene!

I Already have a pretty solid skincare routine to begin with but honestly i just wanna improve to it and add more to it ! 🎀

Skincare ୭₊˚ ! 🎀

For my Skincare routine i already have my products and my basics but honestly i wanna stater using different products to better help my skin!!

❤︎ ໋𓈒 Skincare Goals ! ⭐️

ice rolling

gua-sha

jade rolling

bi weekly dermaplaing

weekly face mask

facial steaming

facial cleansing brush

use more Korean & Japanese products (Japanese products are literally the best)

Body-care ୭₊˚ ⭐️

Another section where i wanna make improvement i already exfoliate,hair removal sometimes and i use my antibacterial soap and my body washes but theres a bunch of things i wanna incorporate!! 💗

❤︎ ໋𓈒 Bodycare Goals ! 🐬

start dry brushing

exfoliate weekly

shave or epilating more often (my own choice bc honestly i don’t like the feeling of body hair

use my glycolic acid more routinely

buy more sweet smelling body products

find a signature scent

use body oil + body butter + body glitter

using an African exfoliating net instead of a rag

Haircare ୭₊˚ ! 💗

For my Hair care i definitely wanna make room for improvement i mainly detangle every day with just some water or style depending on if i need/want to or not and i oil my scalp!!

❤︎ ໋𓈒 Haircare Goals ! 🐬

Grow it out more with the Help of Indian Amla Oil (some said it stinks but if it helps)

Learn More Hair Styles

Use Rice Water

castor oil

Scalp Massage More Often

Hair Masque Bi-Weekly

Trim Split Ends

Deep Conditioning On a Wash Day

Nailcare ! ୭₊˚ ⭐️

use more cuticle oil

professional manipedis bi weekly!

soak my feet with foot salts more

develop my own at home nail care routine

Facials!!🎀

buy new daily vitamins!!

keep my hair professionally done!!

use my primuce stone more

buy more lipgloss + vaseline lip care

Stage 3 ೀ⋆ Makeup + Jewelry + Fashion + Perfumes 🛍️ !!

I wanna learn how to do my makeup again so badly! and this time i have more tips so i can actually learn how to do it properly!! 🫧

Makeup Goals ୭₊˚ !

find the perfect soft glam dolly makeup

perfect my eyebrows

learn to glue down lashes

make the perfect base

learn to bronze and contour correctly

perfect the highlighter placement

get the perfect sun kissed summer doll makeup

again buy more lipgloss

Jewelry Goals ୭₊˚ ! ⭐️

i desperately have been needing new jewelry and for the longest and ive stupidly been wearing silver knowing i like gold better

buy bangels

get gold hoops

get a new nameplate

get more necklaces

get more rings

get anklets !!

Fashion Goals ୭₊˚ ! 🛍️

actually dress in clothes i genuinely like

dress for my body type

not toning down my dressing for random people

build confidence in my outfits

start sewing some of my outfits bc i can

make crochet pieces for the beach

buy tons of cute clothes!!

make more inspo boards !!

Stage 4 ; Posture,Eloquence + Mannerism + Photogenic 🎀🍰

Definitely a Big one for me i wanna fix my posture and definitely speak up more in public bc im a little shy 🙈🎀!

Posture Goals ୭₊˚ ! 🫧

fix my back posture

learn to again regulate my nervous sustem and relax my shoulders

be more fluid in my movements!!

walking with my head up

Eloquence Goals ୭₊˚ ! 🛁

speaking louder in public so people can actually hear me

speaking clearly with confidence

controlling my facial expressions more

smiling more!! 😁

Mannerism Goals + Body Language ୭₊˚ ! 🛍️

I tend to tone down my natrual mannerisms ALOT when im out in public and honestly im tried of not being my true self in public and i let the opinions of those around me influence me into toning it down

be more animated as i am at home in public

walk the way i want to!!

practice princess mannerisms with my own little spin🤭

walk around like a princess bc im literally a princess

Extra Goals ୭₊˚ ! 🛍️

be more photogenic

learn how to pose

be more videogenic

walk around like i won the place (4 the confidence esque of it

Stage 5: Mindset!!🎀⭐️

The Final Stage!!🎀: where ill be implementing so mindsets of some my favs and learn how to express myself in my environment bc honestly it sucks not being able to be myself around my family ⭐️

Mindset Goals ୭₊˚ ! 🐬

knowing my worth

not letting outside opinions dictate my life

unapologetically being myself around my family

reminding my self that people opinions don’t matter

always have a one track mind with all my goals!!

again not being too hard on myself!

Thank you all so much 4 reading i can’t wait till start documenting my journey with you guys!!🎀⭐️ XO,Dolly!!

[kingusukaras]

some (mildly disjointed) thoughts i had about the translation of most recent leona overblot scene from the second twst novel. unsaid disclaimer is obvi these are just my thoughts and youre free to disagree. i cant stop you

read more because i might ramble a bit 💆🏾‍♀️

i'll start by saying that i'm very grateful for the novel & yuureis translations, bc its given me so much to chew on wrt leonas psyche and mental state, much more than book 2 in the game did. i havent bothered to go looking for reactions tho, bc i can already kind of predict the takes i'll find (knowing how parts of the fandom talks abt leona generally) - and i do "get" it, in the sense that i do also feel the way he tortures ruggie before he overblots is upsetting - but theres so much to dig into here, i feel like its such a waste to get hung up on obsessively moralizing

(i'll mention here that to formulate these thoughts i'm also pulling from the translation of leona's post-overblot scene, plus some moments from the game that i'll mention specifically as i go)

for example, the things leona says pre-overblot, his meltdown about dreams being stupid and useless, how the savanaclaw students (ruggie included) aren't meant to question him; they're meant to obey quietly, sound less like actual things he's trying to tell them and more like him lashing out at himself. as in, he's more talking at them, not to them. skipping forward to book 6: there we see leona give jamil advice, but the implication underneath is that everything he's telling jamil are things leona wishes he had internalized himself - again here, he's talking to someone, but really it's also directed inwards. almost like it's easier for him to look at (and speak about) himself critically when he can externalize it as critique of other people

the other thing im curious about is the distant, detached persona he adopts when he's truly angry. this'll be quick because i don't feel i have enough information to unpack it properly, but if i allow myself to spin thoughts out from limited information: it could almost be a habit he picked up as a child - something he might've forced himself to learn as part of an effort to be seen as more of a 'model' prince. if people were afraid of his moodiness because they feared what his UM (he) could do, then if he swallows those emotions maybe he can mitigate that. this, ofc, being shot through with the expectation that, as royalty, any order he gives people will obey

the final thing, for this post at least, is unpacking the way leona lashes out at ruggie when ruggie defies him. i'm willing to make the very safe bet that most of the reading of this moment is focused on leona being angry over being defied at all, or general disgust at how small and weak ruggie is (appears) to be. and while i think both of those points have some element of truth to them, i think the larger aspect of leonas reaction is jealousy. ruggie somehow, despite everything, despite all of the disadvantages life has thrown at him, still has the courage to have determination. and i want to be very clear here: this is not me saying being poor or struggling is admirable because it makes you strong - i'm not naive and i'm not here to romanticize poverty. what i am trying to say here ruggie's tenacity - a tenacity his life circumstances developed in him - is something that leona lacks, and that's what he's jealous of. he's jealous of his inability to keep having that hope, to maintain that courage in the face of his own repeated failures

(an aside: isn't it ironic that part of the reason ruggie has that tenacity is leona? leonas tutoring, leonas effective leadership of the spelldrive club, and as housewarden?)

(an aside 2x: in many ways, 'giving up' can be seen as a luxury. ruggie does not have the luxury to give up, because it could very well mean that he doesn't eat that day. for leona, regardless of what he does he's going to have a roof over his head and three square meals a day anyway, so what does it matter if he gives up? sure, he won't be happy, but he'll be comfortable in a material sense, and isn't that enough? except, of course, it isn't - not for him. as much as he tries to deny it, he's as fiercely ambitious as the rest of his dorm)

[zzencat]

Hello! Myself RJ🪷🐚🪞🪽 ( an ♌sun and ♎moon&rising ) she/her. Here for your free reading game<3

My questions are :")

What's blocking/stopping me to reach my true potential to achieve my dream life? For my career & dance/writing stories?

Is script writing or dancing is a good career field for me?( basically entertainment industry works) Or I should go for language specialist/ jobs related to Laws?

What's I need to focus on in order to achieve success in life?

Thankyou so much in advance💐

Hey RJ!!! thanks for the wait, i hope you’re getting your daily words-read limit in:

Hey RJ!!! im gonna just start it off here- i think you’re stopping yourself. you have what it takes and you have the creativity and the emotion- the raw passion inside of you, but for some reason, you’re stopping yourself. i think you’re hard on yourself and but you do keep your emotions in check. i think you detach yourself easily or “take flight”/mentally check out just in case things backfire, and you might be used to this sort of thing, and while i do think you’d be good at keeping personal and work matters separate, i do recommend that you stick to your promises or things that you claim to commit to. lil teddy note: also i’ve never seen so many king and queen court cards in a celtic cross reading for someone hahaha. i think the biggest issue here is commitment and not trying to limit yourself to one thing, trying to do multiple things at once and get em all with 1 or 2 stones. i can’t tell you that’ll be possible or impossible, but it’s the quality produced that might go south. i suggest focusing on one thing at a time, maybe 2 if you can handle it (but im still iffy on that), and hone that 1 skill or profession up to amazing standards first. perfect what you can do now, but ofc allow yourself to make mistakes. i think you can be pretty harsh on yourself, esp on a subconscious level, but you have to be careful not to burn yourself out and start 1 thing at a time. that way you can balance out the social, emotional, and mental aspects of your life. but other than that- skills n creativity? you’re doin great!! you just need to raise the standard for your own products and commitment levels. and don’t try to make things harder for yourself! a challenge is great and all, but rmr consider the costs :)

i REALLY recommend that you go into something that’s not crazy overwhelming. something that you can handle, and then build up from there. again, the sense of detachment comes up, followed by perfectionism and fear of failure, and then eventually pessimism. something that allows you to express your emotions and story, but overall not dead stressful, bc it can get pretty crazy up in there (esp the industries that you’ve chosen.) i suggest choosing something small that you can tackle and then build your way up so that you can build your commitment as well and lower levels of burnout and anxiety over them. i think it’s a good time to choose rn and honestly, you do value your freedom a lot and ability to make your own choices, do and create whatever you want, so you’d have to look at these options carefully and choose the one that’s less likely to stress you to hell n back. start small, then you can build big. something that you’re already good at, and you don’t mind adding in some extra beginner blocks (even if you already know them.) as appealing as being booked and busy and recognized sounds, it’s also a lot of energy and a whirlwind of things to think about…these could wear you out real quick, so you have to have a stronger foundation.

that’s it!! thank you for waiting and joining the game RJ, i hope this clears up some things for you 😁

[zukkacore]

I want the director’s cut of. Honestly the entirety of if you want divinity. I’ll take whatever you’re willing to talk about. I need to just stare out a window for awhile. I feel like crying. Wow. Amazing story stunning stunning stunning.

HELLO FRIEND SCREAMS thank you so much you know how meaningful it is that people like. Like my writing and engage with it and you've been so sosososo incredibly sweet. Sorry yours took the longest, I was trying to think of something to say bc apparently there's a word limit on these things. Boo. I would totally do a total annotated doc otherwise bc im cringe but i went over like a LOT of the references stuff in Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 which honestly. Might be a lot of the process.

Imma see if I have any other notes off the top of my head:

THE POSTER: ok, so. The WEAKNESS IS PAIN LEAVING THE BODY poster. Obviously that's a bit of an ironic joke. That wasn't even really supposed to be there. I'm realizing i kept in the draft the fact that Jace makes the picture frames on Porter's desk rattle. And actually, during the implied Cassandra Divine Intervention scene where the poster falls, was originally supposed to be one of the pictures on the desk. I... couldn't justify it. I was like. idk whats weird n whats not to have as a framed picture on your desk if you're a teacher.

I'm like. Genuinely I think one of my biggest flaws as a writer is sensory detail, description, like maintaining characters geography w/in a space. King of white wall syndrome. At the bare minimum, I do think there's this kinda funny old vs. new feeling regarding Jace's belongings, his home, etc. Or like. I guess not kitsch but like something mass market vs. very old and traditional. Like the couch in my head like something small, ugly and modern, like very minimalist and kinda uncomfortable, and something a lot of people would own. But there's also the grandfather clock in the corner—to me that's also something that was passed down like the brooch. The brooch, moon n stars, obviously n heirloom—he's has like old roots in fallinel, his family is of Galicaean faith. But also The brooch is described in the same scene as the mug Porter keeps, and it's the most generic millenial like mass market slogan thing you've ever seen. There's this like. Presence of his family's influence even if he doesn't speak to them. But also a life that's. Kinda on autopilot.

I.... i always feel like I'm patting myself on the back abt this. I do really like the Detect magic + Teleport meld. I think it was clever. I'm telling myself that's ok to say. Mainly b/c it was a good solution to two problems. And a little bit b/c I think it's romantic to rip through space and time for someone. Again, I keep joking that he loved Porter to the point of invention (something i only feel self congratulatory about bc he did it in canon first).

Anyway. I was struggling SO HARD on what to do about these flashback scenes and i've said this before but like they were so close to being on the cutting room floor. I just felt like i couldn't justify them in something that was meant to be kinda... fun? Haha. "fun" IYWD. As if. The Detect thoughts i think helped with what to do about inserting those flashbacks, which i think helped resolve my problem of them feeling pointless b/c its like. It's not for our benefit, it's literally the memories weighing on Porter at like all times. They hang over everything.

The Teleport part was bc i was like. Ok. This is the biting maiming killing dropping during sex couple. If there's a question of "you can do anything you want to me", there HAS to be an escalation of stakes. But also this doesn't feel like a story that necessitates like. A lot of violence in their kinkplay I guess? When there's so much else going on, there's so much like about mourning and the violence already inflicted on Jace twofold that's actually a source of guilt for his horrible evil loser boyfriend porter. I already went through a LOT of contrivance just to get them into Porter's office (i think the fucking in porter's office jokes are fun, sue me), but I also was like. Ok. I think I need to go bigger by going smaller. If he changes the spell to rip through time, there's this like—doubling that makes it so on some level they're basically recreating their first time. Which i think makes the kinda silly vanilla (with little bit of mind reading lol) mundanity of that last part hopefully work

Fun Fact: the "I actually kinda miss you, aint that peculiar" "I'm right here" scene is the first one I wrote. It was basically the basis for everything. As it existed then, it was wayyyyy different tho. The tone was actually a lot more hostile. The patching up injuries thing actually came in way later and i was super embarrassed bc i was like that's so cliche but now i like it b/c i think there's such a Ratgrinders haunt the narrative thing about it. A Jace Cares and that's the thesis of Porter's grief thing about it.

The "there it is, the line" "you're so weird" into he never wants porter to stop saying mystifying things to him. Like. Completely changed the trajectory of what was going on almost by accident. Like. It literally wasn't until that moment that i was like. Oh. Oh. He wants porter to stay. B/c like

I see so much of the 1st half of the story as Jace like. Using Porter's want for him as a way to satisfy his own wants and needs. He wants pleasure after denying himself. But he also needs to live. I keep saying he's using sex as a tool b/c i really think he is—he wants to be so good porter can never live without him. And on level one, that's about making sure he's indispensible. Making sure he stays alive. But the second thing thats buried under there is more of a want—for Porter to stay with him. And that changed it from Jace actually fighting to have the upper hand and in some ways even getting Porter on the back foot to it being like. Actual desperation.

How many Jaces are in this story? Good question. Pre and post shatterstar for sure, but also we only see Pre in flashbacks so they're more like Porter's perception of pre. The clones are implied but do not make an appearance. And obviously after the first 5, the other jaces w/in 8 Jace thesis are more concepts in people's heads (and also one of them is 25). The Jace of Porter's memory is definitely there. The Jace Porter thought he would get after the shatterstar also haunts the scene. too. It's jaces all the way down.

Idk if it makes sense my logic behind this but. There's Porter complimenting Jace when he's really raw and vulnerable and messy and its like. Jace's response is that it's unfair. And b/c there's so much talk abt justice and unfair in FHJY i was like. Can. there be an instance in which something is unfair in a good way? Like. In that you're the one being treated unfairly at the expense of everyone else. Like. almost like. Sometimes you can be unfair in that you're easier on your friend than you might be on someone else. That's not fair, but like. That's human. Like if something is unfair you might be getting an advantage on something you didn't earn. But you don't have to earn love, but the fact that Jace didn't have to work for it, he feels like he's getting something too easily. It's unfair. In a good way.

I've said this before but I do think Porter is able to come to some sort of synthesis about Jace. And that he was maybe able to even conceive of the totality of him b/c of how the flashbacks are laid out. Like. in the first one he's unpalatable and angry and a disappointment to the memory of Jace that Porter imagined. In the second one he's sort of perfect, the scene too short and precious and romanticized to be muddied by real flaws in his mundanity and simplicity. And in the last one, Jace is mundane, flawed, overworked, overly familiar with his students, willing to play favorites, but also empathetic, good at making connections, ultimately well meaning and trying his best. Someone real, that's Porter's favorite. It's up to interpretation i think. esp bc like.

Counterpoint: I think you could also read that. Porter seems to love this Jace more the way a god loves their creation than the way a man loves another man. Like. yeah they're suckin n fuckin but also Porter being in to the fact that jace is "so trusting" is very. Helio always has a plan and i let him take the wheel, no? He's moved by Jace's devotion. Jace will take that tho. He'll take it all.

Final point: if brennan says that anything his PCs do can become fair game for him, then same for me. If Adaine n Aelwyn can use dimension door to go to her parents house / aelwyn's apartment despite the distance, that's fair game for me to misuse it < 3. (i just think if i'd allowed for the teleport it would've made way more sense to go to someone's house. And llike. that's no fun at all

I might rb with more thoughts later to be a menace. Thank you!

[imjustabeanie]

yo its seras ... i decided to send one in for fun. id like a relationship matchup for someone from jjba + genshin if you could please.

any prns, cancer, intj, aro bi (im in romantic relationships so idm it. i just dont prioritize romantic gestures as they make me uncomfortable), true neutral, i have bpd + autism + bipolar + chronic pain so woo

im like 5'2, shorter hair like dirty blonde almost brown, pale also bc i dont leave the house except to go to work lol, freckles, blue eyes but they look more gray. i dont emote much at all really. i have a hard time talking about feelings / emotions / much of anything. i only talk passionately when it comes to my interests and things i really like. im very stubborn and overwork myself often. it takes me a long time to warm up to people and be trusting. i dont like touch unless ive been around you a Long time. i like people who make me feel looked out for and who won't be afraid to essentially force me to calm down / take breaks. not super pushy but like. kind pushy if that makes sense? i dont want to be smothered and need my space and would rather like parallel play. i like watching / playing games together and just enjoying time together. i also deal a lot with extreme emotions and hiding them, hence the bpd... my mood swings are a lot of the reason ppl can't handle or deal with me so someone who won't mind them so much would be nice? or someone who can rationalize and help me through emotions and things. i also need a lot of attention but not in an overwhelming suffocating way. im also hypersexual and it has a big part in my relationships and i need someone to keep up with that too. i have tendencies of being a bit manipulative but i dont. like that about myself. i dont like to go out a lot and would much rather stay at home. i dont mind going out to quieter places or just doing mundane things! i also do like going out for food + for conventions or events related to my interests. amusement parks also rock. i have special interests in animals (marine animals, cats, dogs), mythological creatures, the paranormal, cryptids, cosplay, animanga, video games (especially rpgs + visual novels + dating sims + rhythm games), old web, character analysis, horror media, and psychology.

hopefully thats enough? tysm

Trade!

Your genshin match is Wriothesley!

He's patient, funny, a great judge of character and respectful. What more could you ask for? Once you two break the ice you hit it off rather well. He's very caring as a lover without being overbearing. He's always here when you're in trouble and always looks out for you in his own way.

Wrio is definitely someone who can deal with you, he's patient after all. Especially with his lover. He knows when you're reaching your limit and he has a space in his office just for you to rest. But at the same time he's ready for you to innitiate more activities together. The most important is that you know he loves you. He shows his love through small acts and gifts. He always gives you his time and learned to convey his feelings with little gifts through the day.You always receive flowers, chocolates and a good lunch from him.

When he can, he'd love to go assist events at the surface! When he really can't he'll just order/make the foods he wants you to try. He also always gets a bunch of movies so the two of you can watch them together. As much as he enjoys physical affection, he'll always wait for you to initiate first. Once you give him the go he becomes another man.

Overall, it's a very nice relationship where you don't publicly show your love but people still know it's there. Wriothesley is patient and will always wait for you to come around. And he still gives you gentle pushes to encourage your goals.

Your JJBA match is...Kakyoin!

Not gonna lie, Bruno was a close second but Kakyoin is way more playfull and chill. Both know how to guve you space but Kakyoin knows how to have fun.

Kakyoin shows his love through acts and quality time. He likes going on dates with you to explore new places yet also takes care of you and does his best to make you more comfortable. He's not that big on physical touch either so you don't really have to worry about this. When you engages he'll just happily welcomes it.

He absolutely loves playing video games with you! The two of you spend hours at arcades and the scores are often a tie! He also loves horror movies. One of the most common things you two do is just...sit in a pleasant place and discuss a recent movie/video game you two did. He's also quite cultivated in mythology so he has nice book recommendations. Food isn't much his things so he'd rather follow your recommendations.

Overall, you two are the average high school sweethearts but on the more timid side. People just know that you're soulmates by the way he looks at you.

[ratfest]

how. do you. paint.. digitally.. (dsafjl youre so amazing at it!!)

HI I AM SO SORRY THIS RESPONSE IS SO LATE ASDKFHS my answer to this is really long bc whenever i start talking abt drawing i end up writing an entire article like those recipes on wordpress for like a lemon pie that are prefaced with 100 years of family history SO I WILL JUST CHOOSE ONE THING 1 EMPHASIZE and that is the importance of making a thumbnail!!!!!

a thumbnail is a plan. when people see your painting, they will likely not be seeing it full size, and on phones especially, they will be seeing it smaller! the actual painting is just an elaborate thumbnail, so if the thumbnail isn't successful, the larger piece will also not be successful. luckily since they're so tiny, you can make a bunch of them really fast!! they're a great way to explore your painting without actually painting. keep it small, limit yourself to only a couple of values, and focus on getting the light direction, silhouette, and composition to direct the viewer to what you want them to look at.

here's the last drawing i did as an example!! as you can see, the final colored drawing maintains the general thumbnail.

The thumbnail is the first part of the idea of starting with big shapes, and then going into smaller shapes, and once you have it down you can apply it to details within the piece as well. When I draw a face, for example, I first block in the values of the face, before further breaking down those values until they actually make what actually looks like a face. (you might have heard people say draw shapes, not things!)

don't underestimate how much a background can do for your painting! in my case, i use it as an opportunity to set the atmosphere of the painting in addition to clean up the shapes. my favorite trick i do sometimes (and lots of traditional painters use too) is to draw the background over the subject, as it gives a chance to tidy up the shapes as well as define the atmosphere! i like to think of it like sculpting: put on a big chunk of clay, and then take away pieces to reveal what you're trying to draw.

ANYWAY this ended up being very long IM VERY SORRY..... as always disclaimer im not a pro artist or anything everything i have learned is from looking at other artists and my own silly conclusions from trying 2 make the stuff i learned in design class somewhat applicable to things i actually like doing so i can tell myself my degree wasnt a complete waste of time BUT THAT ASIDE i hope it was helpful to u or anyone else curious on how i paint.. i really like talking abt this stuff so . IM GLAD YOU ASKED (AND ALSO THANK YOU)

[whumpitisthen]

here's a quick rundown on astarion: gay vampire spawn (not a vampire. like a demo version vampire. a "lesser" one but don't let him hear that) who has been kept for 200 years by his master as a slave. guy (who was an actual vampire) carved him up, tortured him and forced him to lure victims into his manor. astarion has been abused in so many ways i'd hit some sort of character limit if i listed half of them. he was only allowed to feet on rats and small vermin in the sewers. poor little meow meow astarion is now free due to [game story] reasons and seeks power and revenge -- he's an edgy fuck with a lot of swag and no moral compass. bro is a menace and loves causing problems on purpose. [slight spoiler] he will literally try to suck some of your blood like a day or two after you meet him and unless you succeed a skill check he'll just keep doing it until you die. if you resurrect yourself afterwards he'll go like "ooooh ooopsie sowwy! i wouldn't kill you if i knew you'll be back teehee can we forget about this? ;) <3 don't fucking kill me". he's such a good fucking whumpee you don't even know. it's insane. i don't want to ramble but he's almost everything i've ever wanted from a character like this in a large scale rpg. [slightly bigger spoiler] despite being the go-to "fuckable" character who everyone finds hot as hell (both in-universe and online) he's HORRIBLY traumatized by his sexual experiences from when he used to be a slave and when you romance him a good portion of his storyline revolves around trying to make him realize that he's more than just a slab of very attractive meat. he hides his feelings behind a facade of "evil tumblr sexyman-esque" mannierisms and getting to finally peel it back and see him for the poor wet cat that he is is so fucking satisfying. [an even bigger spoiler] i loved watching him cry when he finally gets to confront his former master. pristine content. there's so much more to his character (and this game in general) but if you ever need to justify spending full price on a new videogame release, there's nothing better than bg3. if i could choose one game to beam directly into the brain of each whumpblr user, it'd be this one.

Okay so i already loved him from the very little information i had about him, but this is so delicious

I saw some pics of bad scars which are always hhh and heard that he is a whumpee but i didn't know the extent and now i think ive collected a new blorbo

You are telling me he meets his old master at some point...... and he cries..... and hes all sad....... he rly was made for tumblr but especially me youre telling me he has white hair and is a vampire twink who was a slave and hurt and traumatised and he has incredible sad wet cat energy and he only has a flimsy layer of confidence and absolutely no idea what morals are. i knew i needed to know more you have to understand my knowledge of the game stopped at the bear sex scene like that is it and yet i somehow always find the most pathetic little men no matter what in any media i could not give a shit about any of the rest i will consume the entire thing just to know the exact extent of his sad little life

Also i wish i had the opportunity to even consider buying a full price new release no matter how good the game is there is no world in which id be able to pay for that. Also idk about the gameplay either it seems very story oriented roleplay and almost dating sim-ish? Not a huge fan of those in general its gotta have more gameplay than walking around and basically watching a movie, but, again. No idea about anything, maybe it has incredible gameplay and i just dont know. Dont tell me if it does itll just make ms sadder bc that would absolutely make me wanna play it myself. Its kinda funny honestly the longer i spend not knowing anything the crazier everyone seems to me both online and irl. Its like im living in a separate world, i know no one who hasn't played this fucking game fjfhskhfd

[heartscrypt]

hi im the back and im now a stray cat in ur backgarden waiting for a meal. give me fun facts abs ur ocs or ill scratch something. i think they are So Cool. please

ouuu my god YOU HAVE UNLEASHED THE HORRORS . I LOVE MY OCS RAAAAAGHHHHH

ok im . putting this into like subsections based on ocs. limiting myself to 3 fun facts about each oc so i have some that ppl can still ask me about.

looong post so im gonna put it under a read more

cyrus:

he is a nickname guy. he will give people nicknames. the most notable one is "inky" for azul. she started calling him it post-overblot because it made him uncomfortable in an entertaining way. for mc / yuu she'll call them "small-fry" / "zako" because. well. its condescending. also in jpn it's apparently slang for "weak / useless person" or "mob character" LMFAO. "fry" / "chigyo" is how he addresses people that he doesn't care about (mostly other students from different dorms) and he often calls other dorms "chigyochi" (rough translation would be. Breeding ground?? but in official eng it would probably be something like Hatchery i guess. to remove the Implications LOL). she also likes to call specifically freshmen "freshwaters" / "tansugiyo" because. coming from the coral sea as a saltwater mer. the Peak of insult is implying you're a freshwater fish who can't survive the salt or the cold. basically calling all these freshmen weak as fuck

he's so terrified of sebek its so funny. its like an irrational fear of him too. cyrus just wants to Sprint Away as fast as she can when she hears sebeks voice because sebek reminds her of a crocodile. incredibly hilarious considering sebek is a whole freshman and cyrus is a whole junior and they're from completely different dorms so there's like. So little chance of them interacting

she HATES the nrc birthday tradition of the "gift of good fortune" (aka getting cake thrown in her face) because her least favorite food is whipped cream. he honestly just hates cake in general and hates the idea of cake being thrown at him (in reference to the scene in the little mermaid where vanessa stumbles into the wedding cake bc the sealife is attacking her LMFAO). she's not even a good sport about it bc shes immediately trying to run away. her birthday presenter (its cater btw. if u even care) has to literally hold her down kicking and screaming.

marron:

his worst subject is alchemy. things can and do often blow up in his face... even if that wasn't originally possible for whatever he was making to do. pre-overblot, this is mostly obscured by how he's able to maneuver his lab partners into doing most of the work for him. post-overblot, it's so obvious that it's his weakest subject that crewel immediately puts him in remedial lessons and he's so embarrassed about it. will get snappish and defensive if anyone presses him on it because he hates feeling like he's being criticized

he has a favors gambit running in the freshmen classes. if you picked any random freshman student out of the crowd at nrc... 9 times out of 10 they'll owe marron a favor. it's a lot less formal and definitely a lot less intimidating than azul's contract system, but that's part of what makes it work-- the people indebted to marron are pretty much unaware of their debt until they step out of line and face consequences they weren't anticipating at All.

his brother had connections to a security company named Cloak&Dagger. it has connections to S.T.Y.X. in that it sells information on overblotters to the organization but it also more generally keeps tabs on the influential people of the world (like the royal family). marron uses this connection to cultivate a horrifyingly wide information network. he does have all the personal data on ur phone btw. he knows everything you looked up on wikipedia. he's side-eyeing you for spending that long on sigmund freud's page.

jettie:

the youngest in a family of six. his three siblings, all guys, are older than him-- around college/workforce age. in order from youngest to oldest they are buddy, moore, and ramer (all respectively based off chum, anchor, and bruce from finding nemo). they're a lot more friendly than jettie. also a lot bigger. jetties kind of the runt so hes more aggressive to compensate. they love him anyways <3

his family run a bodyguard business. it's a little ominous. his other three siblings are kind of iffy on continuing it because it's shady as fuck but jettie is READY to take over the business when his father nimius (twisted off of glut from the little mermaid 1) gives him the opportunity or 2) kicks the bucket.

he keeps all his baby teeth in a jar. actually all of his teeth that fall out. he bites a lot of things he shouldn't so this is more common than you think. did you know sharks have a neverending supply of regenerating teeth? isn't that horrifying? well its a trait jettie has and yes it is more horrifying when he's in his human form. he brings out the jar of teeth when he wants to fuck with someone

[lagomorphics]

hi majora! your art is really cute, and I hope you don't mind if I ask about your process? I'm new to art and yours is an inspiration! I wanted to ask how you learned? and your process, because you seem to draw near daily! also any tips you might have for me? thank you!

HI ANON!!! ur very sweet thank u so much WAHH <33!!! idm being asked abt that at all!!

in terms of how i learnt; i've kinda always been drawing for as long as i can remember? been posting art online since around 2013-ish so i got a big big catalogue of stuff to look back on

but learning in specifics of like, how i learned to shade n draw bodies etc etc. i studied! theres a lot of resources out there that'll break down a lot of the 'basics', i dont have any i can name off the top of my head except for morpho; whole bunch of books about body types and anatomy.

im not really good at providing tips for how to learn (bad memory </3) but studying, drawing things over and over (i do with reference and then without, and try to draw in different angles/perspectives) is very useful!

ALSO VERY IMPORTANT: literally do not worry at all if what you draw the first time around looks wonky or "ugly". being negative towards yourself about your art only serves to stunt ur growth!! shakes you (and anyone reading this) by the shoulders. it can be very easy to slip into hating your art and not enjoying anything ur drawing. this is me telling u to try and draw something youve never drawn before. experiment. it may not look perfect or even "good" but it will refresh ur brain!!!!!

MY PROCESS...... oh man i really have been drawing pretty much daily huh? i do draw every day but its been a hot minute since ive been doing finished pieces haha

but basically what i do is; start with a few warm-up doodles! just anything to get me in the groove

then over the course of the day i slowly chip away at whatever pieces im working on (lined stuff will usually take me a few hours, rendered stuff takes a day or a few....)

i cannot really assist in like "so how do you draw?" because i honestly just go Lights Off Its Drawin Time! but i always do a rough sketch of an idea i have, refine the sketch, refine that sketch, and then if its rendered i'll make a palette for myself somewhere, but if its lined i'll start on the lineart and then fiddle around with colours.

i draw for fun, so if i dont like how somethings turning out, i'll stop drawing it. no use frustrating myself over a piece to the point of hating it!!

(this ones just forfun and just for me) i keep a small little doc full of notes about my own pieces! i like analysing stuff, and also enjoy talking about why i draw something in a specific way, so this is just a nice little thing for me to have fun with. also helps me avoid potentially slipping into "hate this. bad" mindset bc im specifically noting things that i Liked (i do obviously have a bit of chatter like "hmm i think i couldve drawn this better, i should keep that in mind" but its only when its helping myself. the jora does not talk bad about its art)

aaand then i do some cool-downs to get any last little doodles outta my head so i can relax in bed

in terms of tips? do stretches, walk around, TAKE BREAKS! draw at your own pace, and also Have Fun With It. experiment with different colours, limited palettes, different styles!

seriously though do make sure you take breaks and stretch im lookin you in the eye okay?

I HOPE THIS MADE SENSE AND IS HELPFUL IN A WAY i ramble. far too much. and im not the best at articulating my thoughts!! but i hope u have lots of fun drawing very cool stuff <333

[icarusredwings]

FINE ill review it DAMN

Review of hellraiser heartbreaker

Playlist:

Murder on the Dancefloor - Sophie Ellis Bextor

Tommy Gun - Royal Republic

Do I Wanna Know - Arctic Monkeys

Tell Me The Truth - Two Feet

Undisclosed Desires - Muse

Jolene - Beyonce

I Wanna Be Yours - Foxy Shazam

Chapter 1.

Yoo lmao young wolvie is like "whats wrong with this guy?" And wades SOOO excited to be beat the shit out of.

"Let my babt boy go >:( you big meanies" ahh wade you silly thing.

Sokay baby boy dawww

Flirty kitty it is

Remeber kiddos introducing two wolverines in a very small area is NOT advised. Young wolvie is like a kitten, his hair going up and growling because hes scared and Logan growling to admit dominance and maturity over him. Jeez lousie.

"Ahahah behave" wade honey I bet logan loves when you defend his place in your life.

Chapter 2.

Oooh what a good start I love how hes sitting here staring at wade because he knows him and logan is NOT having it. He knows what young pups try to do, they try to steal your mate and hes not about to let that happen.

Pfft logan really said "ah hell nah id fuck anything back then im coming too"

THEY FUCKING VAN GOUGHED ME HAS TO BE ONE OF THE BEST LINES EVER

“This is why you’re my favorite.”

Logan tried hard not to smirk at that. He failed.

That right there confirms that wade KNOWS logan is jealous already and is lowkey trying hard not to entice younger wolverine too much because he knows he's gonna kill him.

I should thank Wade then. I should thank him very thoroughly .”

Oh so youve chosen death little one?

"Gotcha you pointy little bitch!" Me at my splinters.

Aww man wade is being so careful with both of them, hes just less careful with you logan cause your younger has a collar on right now thats all.

Did you forget your wade is one of the top mercs there is? He never has NOT gotten a job done, which means handling wolvie with care you stupid old man.

Chapter 3.

Yo he already said no once. Leave it.

He finna kill you, you better start acting right.

“I said no.” There was no hint of playfulness or friendliness there. Just finality. It was enough to make Wolverine back down.

See? I told you. God you little degenerate. You need trained that no means no sheesh.

Yeah those hips are quick but they aint for you

Awwww logan got him rabbits like a good hound dog. Bro really said "man I need to impress my mate lemme go kill some innocent rabbits to eat"

Finding food and showing how reliable he could be to Wade.

“Oh Logan,” that was a new tone from Wade. Affectionate. Directed at Logan. Not at him.

Yes exactly.

Wade brought me home

He sure as fuck did. He might as well collar you with his name on it too. Big strong boy. All jealous of a little inexperienced wolvie. Psshh lets be so for real.

“I don't see a ring, asshole.”

“Don't. Fucking. Touch. Him.”

ALEXA!! PLAY SINGLE LADIES FOR THE EPIC FIGHT THATS ABOUTA HAPPENA

Suddenly, the tip of a katana pushed against Logan’s cheek.

“What did I say about fighting?” Wade panted, his white eyes glaring. There was that seriousness in his voice again. Logan rolled his eyes at him. The katana pushed into Logan’s cheek until a trail of blood came out.

tHIS IS WHAT I KEEP SAYING!! wade does NOT fuck around when it comes to jobs! He was taught and trained to ALWAYS finish the job. Hes terrifying bro I would literally kill myself if I knew this man was after me because id be afraid hed play with me and not kill me fast enough.

Both of you need to settle your shit. I can’t have you guys fucking my mission up

Exhibit B. Do NOT come between an adhd man and his dopamine and his dopamine is finishing missions and getting cash.

Ooh my poor baby though. Like seriously you need a shock collar and maybe neutered bc holy hell no is non existent to you but you just miss your own. Its a shame yours always dies. Its really not fair. But you cant just go stealing other peoples wades either. Hes limited edition baby. If him and his poolcule dont invite you you cant touchy.

Got inspired by PrettyPonyRideToHell’s fic Hellraiser, Heartbreaker

Never knew I needed Worst Wolvie having to deal with his little shit, younger self and with Wade ofc caught in the middle 😌✨

[boyslit]

i think I've been leaning into the disabled label a bit harder recently bc fuck dude i sure ain't able to do shit i want to anymore... this kind of turned into a vent so I'm gonna put a cut

on my feet over an hour? enjoy spine pain: extreme mode for the next two days

bend over*just* the wrong way for a minute? you have lost your walking privileges! thank goodness your partner was trained as a CNA and can help you get to the bathroom. enjoy having to be in bed for a week

just need to shower? even with a chair I'm tired out when i get out. then i gotta get myself upstairs lol

laundry? can't lift shit by myself, i can only run a small armload at my own convenience. gotta wait for the people with strong backs to take things downstairs to the machines

wash dishes? better only be one or I'm looking at ice pack afternoon baybee

i do my little exercises they gave me in physical therapy. i try to take my walks to keep my joints moving. but the fact of the matter is i wrecked my spine in 2016 and every big flare/relapse I've gotten has made it exponentially worse. 2021 was the third time, and probably the worst. it led me to the best pt assistant I've ever met but im not even back to where i was before the refuckuppening of '21. i don't think i ever will be again. and i know being forced to wait an extra two months for Medicaid made it so much worse but i don't want to get mad about shit company rn.

I'm disabled. that's all there is to it. and i have to get used to working with my limitations because i hate crying over myself. but it's frustrating. i keep looking back and seeing a specific point in time as the turn-off point where i could've avoided all this. but you can't go back. i can't go back to 2015 and convince myself to go ahead with beautician school instead of taking the ship/rec job. and even if i had i probably could've screwed up my back at another point

hm. for something a little more positive tho im very happy with the relief adaptive aids have brought me. shower chair, neck pillows, grocery basket on wheels. rinG pen grip. tailbone pillow when i replace it lol (old one got water damage from old apartment)

just trying to take myself where I'm at and keep moving. ✌️ been thinking about a mobility aid for longer trips. I've been craving a trip to jungle Jim's but if anyone's been there u know that place has the square footage of a small city 😓 so i don't know how id walk it without assistance

hmm. brain wants to do something else now so i guess this ends here.

[cleostoohot]

OOKAYYYY

im sure u get a lot of anons asking why they dont have results, blah blah blah. as someone who recently uncovered my root problems heres some advice. imma continue to to roex3dol even if the 3d doesnt show results (which it eventually will) imma continue affirming after 3 days.

HERE IS HOW TO COMBAT THE INSECURITY:

as im sure you have all heard before, dont stress the results will show up in the 3d if you keep affirming.

THE BIGGEST INSECURITY that will get in your way is "what if...." or imagining yourself after 3 days not having your desire or really seeing your future self not with ur desires. If you fall into any of these categories or something similar, catch yourself and start affirming that it has absolutely zero choice but to work. when you imagine yourself failing you are creating that room for failure, you cant believe two polar opposite concepts at once. IT IS POSSIBLE TO BELIEVE IN THE ONE YOU WANT!

ive known abt manifesting (attraction) since aug 2020, i found solar subs and law of assumption in jan 2021, in around aug 2021 i found neville and loa tumblr, in nov 2021 i started manifesting small things. now i still have manifested small things but not my dream life it hasnt appeared in the 3d. thats my experience. ive fumbled AAAAALLOOOTT. i was gonna write this on my blog but after almost two years of experience ill quickly list my largest cause of failure.

WAVERING/NOT PERSISTINGl

one day i would try affirming for the void and after that didnt work i would do a challenge, and after that didnt work i did bkanket affirmations and after that didnt work i did sats and after that didnt work i would do meditations. i didnt think i was doing anything wrong, looking back im so frustrated with myself for wasting so much time. and if lets say i did void affirmations, blanket affirmations, meditations all in one manifesting routine if i missed one i would start over because i believed it wouldnt work despite reading otherwise. this is a new realization, im not even sure i have a total grasp on my mistakes now, but imma keep persisting.

how im going to fix this: i have 1 thing i will do daily which is affirming. i have 2 affirmations i will always use "roe i have all my desires" "roe i manifest in 3dol" even after 3 days imma keep affirming. im working towards holding the assumption that it has no choice but to appear in the 3d. even just yesterday i was abt to quit "maybe i should just be okay with what i have now and revise___" NOPE. im working towards my dream life so i wont stop. just because im getting some material items in my 3d doesnt mean i should be good with what i have now. i will wake up in my dream house and blah blah blah other dream things. my tendency to do that is most likely bc im scared i wont manifest my dream life. I WILL, YOU WILL, WE ALLL WILL!!!! stick with your decisions, dont be afraid of time passing, that will hold you back.

i said this earlier i was gonna write this on my own blog but i feel more ppl would see it here. i hope that previous example i said about switching to void, to med, to affirmations really sticks with someone because that realization was key.

if you dont have what you want in the 3d after 3 days, GENUINELY address your beliefs. when blogs suggested to address your limiting beliefs, i never would bc i thought i was doing everything perfectly. BUT IM SERRRIOUUUSSSS address them. heres cleos post abt somethings that may be holding you back that was my catalyst fr to address what i was doing wrong, even if my exact problem wasnt listed there.

TYYYY CLEOOOOOOOO ill continue affirming!!!! sorry for typing mistakes i manifested a laptop but ive only used tumblr on mobile.

tysmmm for this luv💗💗💗 you should put it on ur blog too

[ezradogteeth]

Hey did you smoke weed while in italy? Also is it easier to learn to draw with a pencil or with like an ipad? /serious btw 💀🪦 i drew kinda last year and theyre all cute (im 20 btw) but i just was like eh its too late to learn so i stopped 💀 but i think thats a stupid thought at any age. So im gonna draw again now :3 any tips on like how to motivate urself with drawing? I might make a comic lol. I just also have adhd so its hard and this is long omh. But im a bug fan of ur work, and i would love any advice!

1. yes i did smoke in italy but i never bought it bc i didnt know how so my friends just smoked me up god bless

2. both digital and traditional art have their advantages and disadvantages. its amazing being able to infinitely rework your drawing digitally, and have any colors and textures u want, but it can also be a hinderance, esp when ur still learning, cuz its hard not to get caught up in perfection and editing in digital art. i think a mix of both is best!! the limitations of traditional art are actually v helpful in growing as an artist, having to be intentional and precise and work within the limits of a page etc.

3. as for motivation, i find it best to take things super small! just doodle in your notebook, keep things low pressure. draw what u wanna draw! ive drawn myself and my sona in the same pose with the same pen like 10000 times. bc i like it. and once u are in the flow of drawing its easier to work on more complex pieces. so dont jump right into a huge project or it can be overwhelming. just get into the habit of drawing often by not worrying about it being perfect (this one is huge for me) and just trying something small and fun to get into the groove. and keep ur goals in mind, remember why u want to learn it in the first place :)

[artsychaosbean]

See even if its bright I CAN have a seizure. But if im gaming I have the choice to walk away when I feel signs of one. there is some warning signs it starts out as a more of a sickness for me. Thats when I know its time to put it down. I also have a limit not only on how long I play but how often. I will have a 3 day minimum buffer between streams for my safety if Im on a horror binge. My streams never last over 4 hours and I keep everything around me screen included bright to minimize the effects as far as I can of the lights. I also take 5 to 10 minute breaks every hour to check on myself to make sure I'm okay and can keep going. if there is even a smidge of doubt, I come back, save, quit, end stream and raid out to someone else. I choose to risk my life to try to make someones day to do something I love doing because I don't want my disability to stop me. But its a choice. And thats what it should always be. A warning is not some out of the way insane amazing spectacular thing to do. Its the bare minimum people SHOULD be doing. We shouldn't be using rapid flashing lights where we dont NEED to use them just bc "Its pretty" or the first idea that came to mind In the first place. Not in a grocery store, not in a youtube short, not in a youtube intro where thats the first thing they will see, not in a forced advertisement. not on a website's home page. If any flashing lights ARE on your site you should ALWAYS have the homepage the landing page without them and a pop up warning about the rest of the site. Otherwise people could have seizures just going to your site in the first place without even knowing it'd be like that. It should always be an informed choice if we expose ourselves to flashing lights. Putting it in these mentioned places takes that choice out of our hands and puts us at risk. and in the video game world, on major corporation and major social media sites, and in real life when we are out on our own streets, Accessibility options should ALWAYS exist. Im not going to sit here and demand a small time wix website have accessibility options however a warning and a epileptic safe landing page is the bare minimum and IS possible even if you have 0 coding knowledge with a website builder like wix. theres no excuses not to do it. As for big social media platforms, video game companies and developers. If you have the budget to run a big site for millions of people or the budget to run a video game with a full entire team of developers, programmers, artists, sound designers, 3D modellers. You should have the money to pay them to start working on accessibility features even if it comes out in a patch. Maybe rather than pocket far beyond a living wage, far beyond a wage that would let you live luxuriously. CEOS should be using some of that money to make the world a safer and more accessible place starting with their own software, companies, shop chains, and games. Epilepsy isn't as rare as people think and people risk dying from it every single day of their lives. Even in their sleep. Why should people make it any higher of a chance? why should people ignore and blatantly neglect and disregard it? to the people who keep fighting against accessibility. If you aren't going to make an active change to help. Don't get in the way of others who are. Keep your mouth shut and your fingers off your keyboard. I will never understand how people like you live with yourself when even children have died to epilepsy. The same epilepsy you try to prevent help for, out of some entitled ableist hubris.

Why are people so ableist?

I will never understand this world. I'm epileptic, the medications don't work for me, I throw medicine up because my stomach is irreparably messed up because of malpractice from my childhood doctor. I reject medications involuntarily. It causes me severe pain. On top of that asthma and epileptic medications are EXPENSIVE, you cant pay for rent, food and bills, supplements for deficiencies AND 6 different medications for different ailments. One medication alone can cost me around 100 - 120$ in my town its so overpriced it used to be 80 - 90$ but then it went up in my local pharmacies from shortages and C-vid losses. (per week. they only give you a WEEKS worth in my town they dont do months) An inhaler is going to be 300 - 700$ in my town the medication will be 80 - 100$ per month. tell me where I get that money. Thats NOT affordable. Not when im already paying 100$ in supplements, not when im pitching in for bills and rent and food already. Not when im kicked off of disability because they want more people working and are trying to force disabled people into jobs. Yeah thats what has happened to me. Because I can physically move my limbs im not "disabled enough" for help even if I have seizures, even if I have tourettes, even if I have a compromised immune system, even if I have a messed up knee, shoulders, wrists, ankles, neck and back that are permenantly injured and don't have full functionality, are weak and in constant pain. But I'm "not disabled enough" So nope can't get my medications covered either. Im not in a job so I cant get covered by that either. I haven't lost a job so again cant get covered through that gov benefit. The only gov benefit I get is 580$ every year thats ALL I get. I can't even afford dental and I have cavities, I can't afford eye care and my vision isn't the best and my glasses are broken.

[kamil-a]

 just for fun lets do this: a few games i played in 2022 that i have a like steam library record of or something. bc my memory is bad. i’m 100% sure i played more games than this. Oh i found this in my drafts, forgot to edit and post, sure here you all go!

-hnkna - this is obvious.

-umineko ep8 - im still rereading this. ow.

-disco elysium - i’ll keep trying from time to time and one day it’ll click with me. 

-bfd secret weapons dlc - i played part of this! i think it adds some really big improvements to the original game! ill let you know what i think of the new characters’ arcs later.

-needy streamer overload - indulgently edgycute. maybe a little too flippant about things to really seem like the sincere “social media hurts your mental health” game it wants you to believe? i would love to watch a 6 hour documentary on the translation and localization of this game. also the text is very small and game me a huge headache jmfvhnfchnfvhj

-huniepop - surprised me by the gameplay being fun and the music being chill, also surprised me by the game being like really really racist (YIKES). incredible to play as a girl MC because it changes nothing except pronouns (sometimes when it forgets you get some he/she lesbian swag), and so you come off as like, a horny guy who is a girl. the sex minigame is the only minigame where time limits matter and it makes it so that you cant even spare a second to look at the naked anime sprite, in some very funny irony. some of the voice acting is REALLY fun. 

-stanley parable DLC - just the two of us. :) when i told my friend i was playing this game she said “you really like stories about obsessive relationships, don’t you?”. well i do. i think the dlc is less of a parable and metaphor about work, free will, monotony, etc and more of a story about the relationships between the characters. i cant quite tell if i think its sillier because i’ve changed or the game’s tone’s changed.... anyway i love narrator’s cottagecore aesthetic

-return of the obra dinn -im in middle of this with a friend! i couldnt get through it alone but together its GREAT. scary scary scary game. aaaaaaaa

-psycholonials - i honestly can’t say whether i think this is “good” or not and i think id be eaten alive if i tried to pass judgement. i think it’s compelling. i immediately replayed it after finishing it. really really really enjoyable game. 

-ladykiller in a bind - i couldn’t get past the ‘telling ur brother about ur sex life’ gimmick i genuinely had to return it. i admitted defeat i literally couldnt put myself thru more. sorry if it was actually good later or smethng

-kiss off demo - idr it but steam says i played it. probbly i had fun!

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