#this is a lot I'm sorry

[numetaljackass]

I would give literally anything to have a normal relationship with intimacy and sex and relationships in general 

I would give anything to be able to fully move on

it’s been over two years. my fiancé moved on literally a few months after we broke up and yet I haven’t even been able to force myself to go on a date. I don’t even miss her. that relationship ending was one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. but I’m legitimately terrified I’ll end up in something like that again. and it’s like, I try to tell myself that letting fear rule my life is no way to live and yet here I am. the thought of dating again makes me physically ill. the thought of letting my guard down and giving someone else that much power over me again? it’s horrifying to the point that if I think about it too long, it sends me into a spiral that lasts for days

I try to keep up this dialogue in my head about how it’s okay if I’m never in another relationship. I tell myself I don’t need anyone else to make me happy and how I don’t need my self-fulfillment to come from another person, and it’s all to make me feel better about being alone. and it’s all true -- I’ve never really considered myself the type of person that needs other people. but I’m so fucking lonely. I’m so fucking lonely and I feel so empty at the same time. 

just. how do you move forward from the abuse. how do you let go of the fear that it’ll happen again. because I legitimately believe I set myself up to fail. I pick the absolute worst people for me that can’t love me at all, or enough, or in the right way. I set myself up to be neglected and unfulfilled and maybe it’s because on a subconscious level, I genuinely don’t know what I would do if I got back the love I give. 

I know I need to talk to someone, but this is legitimately so hard to open up about. I don’t even know how to unpack it. the one time I did try to talk about all of this with a therapist it felt like she wasn’t hearing a word I was saying. but like, why do I do this to myself. why did I do any of this to myself. why did I allow myself to be treated like shit and why am I now letting it rule my life

I don’t want to die alone. I don’t want to wake up one day and be old and alone because I couldn’t let anyone love me. it’s to the point where the thought of ever being in another relationship again just. scares the shit out of me. and the thought of ever like, actually having sex with anyone ever again makes me feel like I’m going to puke. I don’t want to live my life in fear but I’m so fucking scared I’m ruined. and it’s all a big fucking joke to my mom like ‘I don’t know why you were even with her’ when she doesn’t know half the shit that happened to me and was said to me

I feel so fucking sick. I wish I never met her. 

[girpgorp]

decided my fetal kwamis deserved a little lore

[gojobait]

i like to think that this was claudia both cursing lestat and just her being a scared daughter looking to her father for comfort while in agony in a room full of people who cheered on as she burned.

on one hand i think this is her passing her own judgment on him, forcing him to face the consequences of his actions, of what he put her through. i do think she believed his version in the end (if her questioning louis and then changing her wording to "even if it is true" is anything to go by) but of course she does not forgive him. she cant. his explainations arent an excuse. none of it justifies what he did to her specifically, and both of them know it. i think its also why lestat doesnt even try to apologize to her.

and on the other hand, at this point madeleine was already dead, louis had been taken away and no one in the coven had any love or sympathy for her. lestat was all she had left, and he was the one who made her. we keep being told over and over how strong the vampire bond is in regards to louis and lestat but lestat made claudia too. he's watching his own blood die and he feels it, and she knows it, and knows that bond, that shared pain is the last shred of love she will ever feel.

[violent138]

Alfred totally brags about the kids in public, simultaneously shading Bruce who cannot defend himself using Batman:

Alfred: "Master Duke was a Gotham Genius Grant finalist at 12, and Miss Gordon holds multiple degrees." *side eyes Bruce*

Bruce:

Or

"Oh, Master Dick restored the car himself, he's got a phenomenal skill with automobiles, much like the late Dr.Wayne himself."

Outsider: "Too bad it skipped you, huh Bruce? Can't even change a spare tire."

Bruce: *seething quietly* "I wonder where he gets it."

And

A visitor to Wayne Manor: "These are lovely portraits."

Alfred: "The work of Master Damian, he's practically a prodigy. It's a relief that someone in the family is appreciative of the arts."

Bruce: "I appreciate art--"

Alfred: "Twelve years of piano lessons and nothing to show for it."

Later in the Cave

Bruce: "I appreciate art."

Alfred: "Apologies Master Bruce, it's a little hard to see things around here as you seem to think black is the last remaining colour in the world."

Bruce:

[drac0line1nn1t]

Part 1 | Part 2

[hel7l7]

I don't know how to talk about this

[herd-reject-arts]

So I'm leaving work and something darts in front of me, maybe 10ft away, too fast for me to see what it is. Peek around the tree blocking my path and I see this

Just like... a whole ass hawk. Dude's gotta be about 1.5ft tall. Massive fucking bird. And it's just staring me straight in my soul like this, even as I try to move ahead. It didn't budge. And there's only this path back to my car unless I want to walk on a busy highway. So I have the option of Death By Raptor or Death By Truck.

So I walk in the poison ivy filled patch off the sidewalk. Guy still isn't moving. Still staring me directly in the eyes. And I do this thing when animals are behaving strangely where I'll talk to them, so I'm just like, "Hey, man. I don't know you. You don't know me. This feels really threatening. I'm just trying to get to my car, dude. Can I get some space please? You're a big fucking bird. I see those claws. You could kill me right now, but I'd appreciate if you didn't, ok?"

It didn't move until I was about 2ft away. Again: I'm as far from it as I can be without walking into the street. It clearly wasn't going to budge. I walk past, thing flies up (silent, btw. Scary) and lands on a brick wall a little further ahead

Anyway. Weird guy. Nearly shit my pants when I noticed a bird big enough to carry off a fully grown cat was just... there, staring me in the face, unwilling to move away from me, a human, something it should see as a threat. I watched behind me the whole rest of the way to my car, just in case this bird decided to help me shed this mortal coil. 10/10 experience. Super cool guy.

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

I am incredibly serious right now when I beg you all, please, and if you have Twitter or Tiktok or whatever to please spread the word: click on an author's profile on Ao3.

You want to know if an author has written more? Want to know if they're still writing? Want to see more from them? Want to know if they've written a trope or kink or sex scenario you enjoy?

Click on their name. And look at their profile.

I cannot tell you how many times in the last six months someone has read a new or newer fic of mine and said they (a new reader who has read nothing else I've done) "can't wait to see what you do next!" I've written 50+ fics and over a million words already.

"I don't know if you're still writing..." click on my profile. I am. I literally wrote a 128k+ fic for that ship last month.

"Would you ever do X?" "Please do Y!" I already did. Click on my name and look at my works.

Archive of our Own is a library. It's an archive. Not social media. It is your responsibility to fight back against the laziness that corporate algorithms have trained into you.

Click my author name. Just click it. Just click it.

Before you demand more, or ask if a writer will do XYZ, or wonder if the author still writing, or anything - click on their profile. Click on the author's profile.

I'm not trying to be mean or condescending or anything like that. I'm just exhausted. It's disheartening and frustrating to repeat myself ad nauseam, because someone couldn't take thirty seconds to do the tiniest bit of work to see if I've written lately, if I've written more for their ship, or scan my works to see if I've written what they're asking for. Please. Please. I'm begging.

Click the author's name, and explore before you ask.

[canterbury-bell]

Fanart for @beanandberry 's This Love Is Ours 💗

[wis-art]

I'm sorry but I'm just so angry, we really do need to include black people in queer art there is no queer history without black people I'm tired of barely seeing any black coded characters on this site. Being queer is not a white thing but it feels like it's the default on this website.

[plumadot]

Saw your post and absolutely adore your art; could you draw any of the lifers with an oh expression?

he's going to follow that man until the ends of the earth isn't he

[nipuni]

Casanova sketches!

[egophiliac]

Since book 7 part 5 (the part where we meet Meleanor/Maleanor 👀) is coming to EN this month, i would love to see your take on lilia’s proposal to meleanor! i mean they were like little kids right? it couldn’t have been that serious…i think the only reason she even brought it up again is because she could tell lilia still genuinely loved her…(even if he didn’t realize it himself?) but, oh well! Let’s think about silly childhood shenanigans to numb the pain! ^_^ (orz)

oh shit?! get ready for a doozy guys, it's comiiiiiing ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

I chickened out of posting the whole thing (look, I get VERY carried away when it comes to these wacky kids and their Tragedy), but I do believe that it probably ended with Lilia getting embarrassed and just shoving the first thing he sees into his mouth to try and cover for it.

(we're just lucky it wasn't a frog this time)

[vaguely-concerned]

are. are you telling me that if the romanced mage warden dies and alistair is king, he deadass stares greagoir down over her dead body and grants the circle of ferelden its autonomy after ordering it rebuilt somewhere safer. first you have to deliberately leave him behind so he won't die for you and then he does that for you once you're gone, even when you're broken up??? absolute and literal king behaviour of the highest order????? the actions speak louder than words of it all??????? I think I hauve covid

[teddybeartoji]

toji taking little gumi to his first judo match and you know that toji is sitting in the first row with miki, cheering him on with strong words.

and by that i mean that he's not yelling, he's barely raising his voice but he the tone is just so confident, so sure and determined that it makes gumi feel stronger too. simple things like "c'mon, gumi." and "ya have him, ya have him." are enough to clear the boy's mind – there are so many sounds and noises all around him, he's not even the only one who's doing this right now. bright lights and what feels like a hundred pairs of eyes on him were distracting before, overwhelming. but when he sees his dad, clear as day, he knows he can do it.

taking a deep breath in, little gumi eyes his opponent while thinking about everything his old man has been teaching him. patience. the other boy is excited (though gumi is too) and he's more hyper, bouncing around, trying his best to grab onto megumi's attire but he keeps getting swatted away. toji's green eyes meet gumi's over the kid's shoulders and it's the final boost of confidence he needs – in two swift moves, megumi has the boy on the floor, signaling that the match has finally come to an end.

he hears the deep rasp and his head snaps to the voice.

"that's my boy."

he doesn't yell, he doesn't scream – toji now stands by the bleachers with a proud grin on his face with a cheerful miki right beside him. his voice is steady as ever as he praises his from the distance. megumi will never forget this moment.

(toji knows how flustered his son can get if he's under the spotlight and while it is, sometimes, fun to tease him just a little for it – he would never do it in a situation like this. he wants gumi to feel good about his win, he wants him to have fun. he wants him to feel proud of himself too.)

a tiny smile, the faintest one, creeps onto megumi's lips and toji's heart is about to give out. his boy. his son. his little blessing. he watches the coach? grab his tiny hand to rightfully end the match and to show the winner to the crowd around them and toji takes a mental picture of the sight.

gumi's hand reaches up high with the help of the man beside him and he looks like a proper winner. the little boy's cheeks are flushed red from the tussling and his outfit is all disheveled from being yanked around but he looks happy. toji couldn't be more pleased.

and then gumi makes his way over to his dad and sister with haste steps. his arms reach out for toji and he's quick to reciprocate, pulling his baby boy up into his embrace. he hold gumi's head to his neck, knowing that he likes to hide there whenever he's feeling a bit too much.

"ya did s'good, gumi."

tiny fingers dig into toji's sweatshirt and toji knows that megumi heard him. really heard him. he will, of course, keep saying it again and again throughout the day but right now, he just really needed to make sure that gumi knows.

tsumiki fiddles with the hem of gumi's pants and toji gives her a smile before ruffling her hair. her scrunched up face, makes the corners of his own lips tug ever wider as he rumbles out a chuckle.

"wanna go home now?"

toji scratches gumi's warm back in order to get an answer out of him and the only thing he gets is a nod against his neck. and that's more than enough.

[tubbytarchia]

Missed drawing these two too

Bonuses