#this fucking year man
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tw. death, addiction
i dont normally make personal posts or anything but i kinda just needed a place to put all of my thoughts and current feelings.
i dont really know where or how to talk about this?
how do you approach your friends and say 'hey i dont know how i feel right now because i just found out that someone i care about just died.' but like. man im just not sure how i feel rn because i just found out that someone i care about just died. he was a good friend, but like. the kind of good friend that you worked with every day 8 hours a day 5 days a week so you knew everything about each other, but didnt actually hang out outside of work.
tho he did help me fix my motorcycle several times. and was supposed to again. and we were supposed to go riding at some point before i leave mass.
he also was one of the only ones at that job who ever got my pronouns right. he was definitely like. Cis Straight Man all the way but very much the epitome of "he's a little confused but he's got the spirit" he was an amazing boss. and he was the most lively and energetic person i've ever met. even if he was Real Weird about it.
he struggled with addiction heavily... last i knew he was straight sober... but they're pretty sure it was a overdose. which is how my mom died over a decade ago. which is entirely why i have some issues with like. heavy drinking and other such things.
but like. the world keeps turning, right? he was there one minute, and now he's not but like. thats just how it is?
i have a weird relationship with death and im uh. attempting to come to terms with this. like. i'm ok. im not .... sad(?) though i do think i might be in the future? like when i go to visit him at the butcher shop and he's just not there? ever again? fuck see, its weird, right? but like i'm *leaving* mass in 2 months. the chances of me ever seeing him again was minimal anyway. gods. processing.
but like if 2023 could fucking. stop for just a minute? give everyone a break? please? we're all tired ya'll.
#sol speaks#like im ok.#im just#processing.#i got the call about an hour ago from the owner of the store we worked at.#i always thought he'd go doing 190 on his bike down the road... not like this#we have literally like. cried together in the store over shit.#look its just really weird ok#delete later? maybe? who knows#this fucking year man
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the older i get and the closer i am to reaching 30, the more the people around me try to deny me my age. it’s a constant ‘oh you’re just turning 29 again teehee 🤭’ or ‘dont tell your SO that, he’ll leave you for a younger model 😉’ and i just???? hate it?????????
i spent my entire teenaged years fighting for my life. i crawled through the deepest pits of my depression to cling to the promise of a life beyond that pain. i was so convinced that i was going to die young, that i would never see the grace of my age starting with a 2, let alone 3.
so im going to turn 30, and there’s not a damn thing anyone can do to stop me from loving it.
#anyway it’s still a couple years away#but man im so fucking excited for my 30s!!!!!!!!!#i made it!!!#i survived!!!#so many people never got the opportunity to be 30#im gonna enjoy every fucking second of it!#sulley speaks#sorry my coworker said something really rude to me lol#it struck a nerve
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bros au but they're 12 years apart and jujutsu tech scouted sukuna quite young
#my art#fanart#sketch#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#itadori yuuji#ryomen sukuna#jjk brothers au#brothers au#i could not get that panel of snotty baby yuuji out of my mind#i love him so much i need him to be okay always#sukuna actually gives a fuck about him in this au ! lol#little man yuuji#12 years au
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"just as I did, in 1983."
you'd never know my favourite parts of the show are the fucked up insane bits when my first instinct is to draw the cheesiest thing imaginable
#my art#interview with the vampire#iwtv amc#iwtv#armand iwtv#daniel molloy#armand#armandaniel#devils minion#drew this before the finale but idk maybe this is during the unspecified amount of time between armands divorce and daniels press tour#the titian painting doesnt fit at ALL with the timeline btw#i THOUGHT it did bc i assumed 1508 was when armand was turned into a vampire BUT upon reflection thats more likely the year he was born#and even then the painting was made in like 1510 so fuck me i guess. also im foggy on when armand was taken to rome#idk man i havent read the books and i failed art history on two separate occasions i cannot endeavor for accuracy#anyway as much as i love 70s/80s devils minion i have equal love for old man daniel#his cynicism has been tempered by time... refined like a diamond... he dont gaf and bullies his loser vampire and its hilarious#like ''sure yeah fine all these old italian renaissance guys saw ur ethereal otherworldly beauty but literally anybody can see that''#''IM the only mf who gets to experience the incandescent joy of seeing you be a messy idiot''#sidenote trying to make armand look unflattering is impossible u can blame the show for casting the worlds most beautiful man
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alex hirsch was really just so pissed that no one saw his epic old man yaoi that he went and wrote a whole new book and made a whole website specifically to show meticulous evidence that this weird old man fucked a triangle.
he really said what were ford and bill really doing in that pocket dimension they shared, hm? did you ever think of that? oh - you think it was just chess? hm. interesting. i dont.
the ultimate rare pair shipper. i have never seen a creator do this before. absolutely fascinating at every angle.
#and he was so fucking real for that#if i created the best old man yaoi ever and people shipped fucking BILLDIP instead??????#i would devote years of my life to remedying that as fast as possible#yall dont even understand i would be irate#imagine someone shipping ur 12yo self insert with ur uncle's weird ex from another dimension#toxic yaoi fr fr#gravity falls#billford#bill cipher#ford pines#dipper pines#alex hirsch#after the owl house cancellation too ik disneys begging him for a s3#and hes holding it over their heads while curating a gravity falls mania that hasnt been seen since the tumblr dark days#my posts#text post#yes yes the angle pun was on purpose
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me at the interdimensional ramen bar of past regret
#idk this concept is so weird when i think about it for more then two seconds but whatever. young portal ford at ramen bar with meat ya#thats real. that happensd#i said so#whatever man. drawing what i want#anyways thinking about that FUCKING photo again that he pulls out in weirdmaggedon 3 .#30 years wirh that thing#he sickens me in a hyper specific way. sap that has no idea hes a sap. or knows but is in denial.#love you ford ill support yiu foreve#stanford pines#ford pines#gravity falls#gravity falls fanart#stan twins#stan pines#stanley pines
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Bingyuan where Luo Bingge, after many fruitless attempts, finally manages to find a world where:
-The Nice Shizun (who he now knows to be Shen Yuan) is there
-Hasn't died from anything yet
-Doesn't already have a Luo Binghe
-Isn't seriously entangled with anyone else either
Enter 52 year old twice divorced silver fox Shen Yuan, who has only just recently come to terms with his homosexuality (after two marriages have imploded over various factors pertaining to it), and is fending off helpful advice from his sweet & encouraging teenage daughter (who is convinced her dad needs someone to look after him before she heads off to college).
#svsss#bingqiu#bingyuan#shen yuan#luo binghe#pidw luo binghe#bingge having a bit of a crisis because he's never been more attracted to anyone before in his life#shen yuan meanwhile still read pidw like thirty years ago#man takes one look at luo binghe and after the two minutes his weird brain needs to process the situation#is just like WAIT I have a TEENAGE DAUGHTER and immediately starts trying to shove him back into the dimensional rift he came from#luo binghe: i have come in search of my true love#shen yuan: no the fuck you have not
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i couldn't rest until i made something this is driving me insane. so what if i dismissed your success as because of your hardships instead of in spite of them
#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#dimension 20#riz gukgak#fantasy high spoilers#my art#riz is a better man than me bc if i read all that i'd have straight up started killing people#where's your fucking rage where;s your anger RISE RISE RISE#kipperlily i am studying you like a bug
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i WILL take any excuse i have to draw the abernant sisters Btw
#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#dimension 20#adaine abernant#aelwyn abernant#fhjy#me when im in a late episodical art competition and the opponent is myself#this does not apply to anyone else btw i just have to draw fhjy art every week or i die#this was gonna have a second part to it but i cld barely finish this one HAHAHAHA#been having an art moment recently#anyways ! theyre so.#aelwyn's first instinct being to copy fig's bit and fig IMMEDIATELY hating it#so fucking funny man#my art
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I love that everyone keeps saying "fuck that old man" and the old man they are referring to is the youngest main character on the show
#younger than many minor characters too#Daniel is only like 60#Louis and Armand have KNOWN each other for 77 years#amc iwtv#interview with the vampire#iwtv#daniel molloy#devil's minion#armand#fuck that old man
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You know, that bit about "If you offend someone, make sure it's not Yunmeng Jiang and not their Leader specifically!" is just so fascinating to me.
Because - what happened?
What the hell happened to solidify the Jiang as the "find out" of Jianghu??
Like, sure, Sandu Sengshou "killed Yiling Laozu" so you probably don't want to mess with the guy - but a whole sect?? "Don't mess with them or they'll clap back" is a bit of a different fame than "he's torturing demonic cultivators!" - that former is an experience-based life advice.
So, what happened? Did JC punch someone square in the face during a sect conference? Called Sect Leader Yao for a duel and kicked his ass? Fucked up a bunch of trade representatives when they tried to take advantage of the fledgeling Jiang sect??? Took Jin Guangyao's hat and held it out of his reach????
And exactly how trigger-happy are the Jiang disciples to be known as the people you don't fuck with???
I need to know what the hell happened!
#mdzs#yunmeng jiang#jiang cheng#headcanon#i need to know what is happening in yunmeng#jow defensove these guys are?#after years of being known as Barely Great Sect#probably took a lot of shit from other sects#is there a whole generation of jiang disciples that will punch a man in the throat at the barest provocation?#the First Gen of feral survivors that leave their fucks at home when travelling outside of Yunmeng?#they don't care they dont need 'allies' they need you to fuck off actually#grim-faced and hard-eyed wolves that will jump the throat of anyone trying to piss them off#that is - if their Sect Leader doesn't get there first
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for my stanrickers out there
#maybe i will color these. maybe#enjoy toxic old man freaks <3#stan is not allowed to judge ford when it comes to exes#they both have a track record. twinning <3#anyways#stanrick#stanley pines#rick sanchez#rick is addicting to draw and it pisses me the fuck off#gravity falls#rick and morty#ive been wanting to draw them for ages. good lord#gf#ram#my art#i was today years old when i learned this ship is actually called stanchez#stanchez
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all evenings close like this
#PEARL - AQUAMARINE#spent longer figuring out the reflection than actually painting the damn thing. yes it's still shit. no i don't care#this is all i could think of for the past like day or two#oh my gooodddd i love box soooo much#imagine being dead for years and years and years and years and the world puppets your corpse around and calls it a man#never seeing you for the woman you are. just a dead man. until you're alive again#imagine. fucking imagine#anyway i'm also a one fan and afterlife shit also makes me crazy. come see my thoughts#inanimate insanity#hfjone#ii box#ii 18 spoilers#hfjone spoilers
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soon it'll be dawn again
transcript under the cut ⏬
page 01
Fig: no way? - you're still up?
Riz: Wh– yes?
Riz: Why'd I not be.
page 02
Fig: I me~~ean - that took.
Fig: whole day.
Riz: Yeah?
Fig: 'm beat.
Riz: you should sleep.
page 03
Fig: nah. my guy's still up
Fig: I wanna hang out.
page 04
Riz: That's really nice.
Fig: Hah! - Nobody ever expects an Archdevil rockstar to be nice.
Riz: … yeah. - 's just budget work tho. (the stuff I'm working on) - I've heard it's boring.
page 05
Fig: yeah, but you do it…
Riz: It keeps things going, right? - Nothing happens if nobody sits down and - does the thing.
Fig: That's right… - though. Yeah.
page 06
Fig: sometimes it's someone else who - doesn't want the same thing to happen.
Riz: … - mm.
page 07
Riz (off screen): …It took me a long time to get that not everyone likes doing what I do. - 's probably because you guys are so nice– - or. - kind.
Riz (off screen): to anyone too, not just. - the people you /love/.
page 08
Riz: that's not how it is elsewhere. - The world's– not. hostile. - but 's not like it's kind.
Riz: So I'm doing as much as I can now…
page 09
Fig: Hey.
Riz: ?
Fig: Go dig some dirt with me.
page 10
Riz: [blank speech bubble] - oh you meant like - actual dirt. (not incriminating information)
Fig: o yea.
Fig: there's clay in the backyard soil. - sometimes when I'm sun deficient or something I go touch dirt for a bit.
page 11
Fig: here u go
page 12
Riz: uh
Fig: now we make a thing! - 'm pretty good at freehanding a bowl.
Fig: I'll show u
page 13
Fig: just– yep, flatten that out as evenly as u can, then–! - actually ur nails'd be so good at cutting out the strip. [larger than usual space] wait. - wait. wait u can carve patterns with them! we HAVE to try
Riz: uh - What. do I carve?
Fig: anything!!!
page 14
Fig: and– yep just seal the inside uh. seam?
Fig: yep that works - okay time's up! all contestant hands up
Riz: [blank speech bubble] - okay - wh. what's next?
Fig: haha - watch this.
(sound effect text): FWOO—MP
page 15
Riz: WH– DON'T JUST DO THAT???
Fig: Now it's fired!
Riz: THAT WAS NOT SAFE
Fig: (actually it's just dry. if u add water rn it'll dissolve)
Fig: ok catch!
Riz: [blank speech bubble] - careful!!
Fig: dw no need haha
page 16
Riz (thought bubble): oh - it's warm…
Fig: now I want you to throw this.
page 17
Fig: u gotta do it - c'mon
page 18
Riz: wh– - It's like 3AM right now
Fig: oh it's not /fired/ fired it's not gonna make a loud noise
Riz: And then just? leave a pile out here?
Fig: pour water over it & it'll be gone I told u
Riz: but
page 19
Fig (off screen): RIz.
page 20
Fig: I've done all this before.
Fig: Can you trust that at least?
page 21
Riz: no, I– - I do. - I trust you.
page 23
Riz: okay what happens now
(sound effect text): glob
page 24
Fig: we do it again!
page 25
Riz: wh. [larger than usual space] What do you mean. (this clay's too wet also)
Fig: see! you're already learning
Fig: [blank speech bubble] - there are flows that are futile to fight. - The world changes.
Fig: Things change.
page 26
Fig: I've learned my lessons with "forevers". - But - as an artist
Fig: I can give you one thing: - You can always do it again.
page 27
Fig: most of everything depends on the rest of the world, - but this. - making new. - that's yours as long as you want it.
page 28
Fig: So?
page 29
Riz: Yeah. - Yeah! - let's make another one.
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#riz gukgak#figueroth faeth#technically no spoilers in this comic but listen. I Will be gloating in tags. I will Never Shut Up#for the record!! this was fully conceptualized and sketched Before the finales. I started sketching this after the boat fight#and when murph closed riz's arc this season with ''maybe it's okay to change and welcome new things'' I pogged irl#I am simply the best at reading comprehension what can I say! (<- grown ass man with roughly the same perspective on teenhood as the player#fucked up that this became so long (almost 30 squares lol) that it took me this long to finish#lmao I say all that but. genuinely I am delirious and my feelings abt riz's arc this season are so big... I was getting psychic backlash#for a While lol. it was scary!!#had to sit down and do therapy on my own ass for a bit. the teenage apocalyticisation is real. that word isnt tho Im pretty sure#truly anything you do at that age feels like that's it that's all you've got going on forever. and its not true! its simply not true#you'll be okay my guy. you love your friends so so much but also there will be more to love out there#this one goes out to fellow aroaces and also folks leaving somewhere theyve called home for a long time#nothing lasts forever but that means new things come by too! ur ability to make new is infinite!!#there's no magnum opus people leave but new people come by too etc. I am too sleepy to remember what I wanted to say uhhh#well. thank u for looking at my art. I think thats the one pack it n ship it boys
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Me too, Kim
#I’m in Disco Elysium hell but I have no time to draw!!#fuck working full time#pride month may be over but I can still draw old man yaoi#that’s an activity for the whole year#disco elysium#kim kitsuragi#harry du bois#harrykim#kimharry
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i needed some hot trans boy solidarity
#yugioh#yugi mutou#my art#pharaoh atem#yami yugi#blindshipping#puzzleshipping#trans yugi#atem x yugi#i drew this late at night new years day and only posted it on my a03 but i thought fuck it#yugi mutou is trans and i will not be taking any criticism or questions at this time#trans humor by a trans man#jounouchi katsuya
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