#this fandom has gotten so toxic

[owlsinathens]

I'm sorry I really really don't want to harsh your writing groove, and your little snowstorm fic had some neat ideas. But it wasn't tagged game of thrones, and Jon Snow with curly black hair, pouty lips, and being called as pretty as a girl is only in the show. Book!Jon has straight brown hair and a long thin face and is never called pretty. It was a good GOT fic though!

Why hello, "anon"!

You know, I haven't given it too much thought which canon this ficlet is supposed to be, and actually forgot the GoT tag. It's added now, I hope this makes you happy.

But there are a few things I'm curious about.

- Can you tell me where in ASoIaF Jon's hair texture is described? Does it anywhere say explicitly that he has straight hair? I searched, but couldn't find a line on that.

- Please also tell me where in the books Jon's mouth is described in such detail that you, the all-knowing "anon", can deduce that he isn't able to pout.

- Your lack of reading comprehension is a tad concerning, considering you're all on your own in the big interweb - where in my little ficlet did I describe Jon as pretty as a girl? Or pretty, period? The word doesn't show up at all.

- Also, where did I say Jon has other than brown hair? I said dark, can't brown hair be described as dark? Are we gatekeeping dark hair now? Or is it just that you again present your headcanons as canon and everyone needs to adher to your version of it?

All of that I would love an explanation for, but since you are too cowardly to tell your name, I guess that's a futile wish.

But, I want to thank you for reminding me why I didn't write for months in the first place - because of toxic, mean-spirited, gate-keeping people like you. Because of the likes of you this fandom is in its death throes. Dunno what you get out of it, honestly.

Lastly, I know you're not supposed to show when some nasty little anon has hurt your feelings, but seeing as this whole thing is going nowhere anymore, I don't see why not. So, congratulations, "anon", you managed to deeply hurt me, and kill in its bud the first blossoming of creativity I've felt in a long time. I hope it gives you satisfaction, since you must be a deeply unhappy individual.

[herefortheships]

I wonder where the fandom policing and puritanical mentality that you can only ship couples that are innocent, appealing (visually and morally), and strictly plain vanilla, came from. When did that start? 🤔

[monstersinthecosmos]

I had very ambitious plans about being productive today and even went to bed early but I woke up to an AO3 comment telling me I got something wrong so I’ve been in bed for 2 hours thinking about deleting my AO3 page before anyone else finds more mistakes 🙃

[goldfades]

hii!! i just have a question, obviously you don’t have to answer it. but what do you think about “pazzi”? like i can “see” why people would think that they’re together but as someone who’s had a long and close friendship like paige and azzi, i don’t think they’re together. and some pazzi shippers are so mean for what..like just because someone doesn’t ship the same people like you do, doesn’t mean you have to bash them.

i totally agree! i feel like wbb fandom needs to learn that not everyone who disagrees with you is attacking you, i think it’s immature & honestly weird if you take the time out of your day to go and be rude and disrespect to others just because you guys don’t agree on something. it gives miserable and immature behavior, also very toxic!

i personally am a pazzi shipper but do i care if people think it’s real or not? absolutely not, because i have a life offline. go touch grass honestly. people need to learn respect cause it’s getting out of control!!! it’s really not that deep

also this is a general statement i love my pazzi girls

[woomycritiques543]

TW: SEXUAL HARASSMENT, MENTIONS OF ABUSE, AND R^PE! LONG VENT! SCROLL AWAY FROM THIS POST IF THESE TOPICS HEAVILY UPSET YOU!

(This was copy and pasted from an hour ago, so sorry for all the "theys" some of this is from an older post im just compilling this together as receipits/an archive/legal defense. UPDATE: I was also tired while writing this, so many typos are to be expected.)

There is a much larger channel, the Itallian one I mentioned earlier, who when I mentioned the fact that Stolas and Blitz's SA was being mishandeled, Dir, also known as "DirGentlemen" proceeded to slander me for mentioning how sexual harassment in the show was mishandeled by telling me to "CRY ABOUT IT!" and how I was a "A GAY SEX ON SCREEN HATER!" and then after I defended my statement and had to post evidence to prevent any further harm from either his fanbase or the overall Hazbin fandom he threw the word "abuser!" at me for having to post evidence to keep myself from being harmed by even more of the fandom, due to his following, in a thread, that he could have easily blocked me over instead of shaming me for having my own free speech and mentioning my own traumas on a public Twitter thread! I had only mentioned said trauma since he had harmed me in a way that invalidated it by derailing something that mattered to me as another victim, and continued the conversion for hours despite claiming that he had wanted to "drop it" and continously harassed me for mentioning said traumas, disclosing his personal information (for no reason, he could have blocked me at any time instead of constantly contiuing the conversation and going after my blog!) in a public Twitter thread that includes serious topics that he could have easily blocked! So for that, I am going to archive everything that I told both my freinds and my Twitter here:

"-and then when I treid to tell them to stop invalidating me and to try to understand the context of why I didnt like how they were fetishizng Stolas's r&pe of Blitz, they claimed that I was "TRAUMA MEASURING" and that I was "mentioning something that made them comfortable"- Only AFTER they continued the conversation about it for about ten minutes despite the fact that I was obviously uncomfortable with them BULLYING ME and INVALIDING ME by telling me to "CRY ABOUT IT" in response to criticism about SA fetishizing in Helluva Boss, but instead of owning up to their behavior, played the victim for a conversation they choose to continue! - and then when I was telling him to stop posting serious accusations towards me to the point of calling me an "ABUSER" for saying that THEY were the one that made ME mentioning MY personal info by invalidating my traumas and experinces for a fucking CARTOON! and telling me to "cry about it!" for caring about the representation of something I WENT THROUGH! Just to manipulate people into thinking that I was a "bad person" for trying to defend my channel from a adult man with a much bigger fanbase that he was using against me!

-and then used the fact that they were also a victim and autistic as an excuse to continue harassing me and use these kinds of claims for pitty when hey were the one who made me continue talking about it by continuing to harass me and victimize themselves for a conversation about a serious topic- THEY STARTED instead of ignoring my Helluva Boss thread by saying such horrible things in front of their fans of ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND SUBSCRIBERS in the first place! -and again, called me a creep, abuser, AND a "hater of representing toxicity in gay relationships and all sorts of things for not wanting Stolas and Blitz r^ping each other to be represented as "cute and sexy!" and wanting them to stop attacking me, wanting them to LEAVE ME ALONE and to block me instead of posting damaging claims that could end my Youtube channel for good.

I even told them I was scared (again, this was a much larger youtuber, so I was terrified and kept responding since I didnt want anyone from their fandom to dox me or anything, knowing Hazbin fans)- yet they kept going on and on and on and ON with victim blaming and victimizing themself for a conversation they started that was making ME uncomfortable but continued with due to wanting to post evidence to keep their fandom from harassing me! A smaller channel with barely 100 subscribers while they, a much bigger channel, kept harassing me and then bragged about how I was having my "BIG MOMENT!" just because I was talking to him-

Someone with a bigger subscriber account as if that made them "right!" or was an excuse for harassing me over a cartoon! Which is narcissistic as hell and outright harassment! Which is also narcisstic as all hell because they were assuming that I was telling them to stop harassing me "for attention" just because they had more internet subs than me. Then mentioning that they were "autistic" and were also a sa victim and that I was mentioning a "uncomfortable topic I dont want to talk about!" (Psst. It clearly wasnt since they kept talking to me about it in a total of TWO DAMN HOURS!) try to get me to feel guilty for telling them not to lie about defending the representation of something I care about/went through, and how it hurt ME! ANOTHER LIVING BEING! THE REPRESENTATION THATS HURTING ME AND MANY OTHERS MATTERS TOO AND PRETENDING AS IF THIS PROBLEM WITH HELLUVA BOSS "DOESNT" EXIST FOR CLOUT IS FUCKING DISGUSTING!!!!!!

Saying that their representation as a Italian is "SO VALID OH NO HELLUVA BOSS IS OFFENSIVE!" but when I talk about something that personality harmed me as a SA victim they told me to "CRY ABOUT IT!" and twisted my words as a attempt to get their fandom to mock me for caring as if me talking about representation that hurt ME deserves to be invalidated? As if I dont fucking matter?

AS IF I DONT FUCKING MATTER AT ALL!?

again- He MADE me mention these things!

If he didnt- he would have blocked me instead of WILLINGLY posting serious claims and slander towards me such as me being "against gay sex being in media" (which is borderline accusing me of being a homophobe), and saying things that would obviously cause people to harass me and claim that I was "NOT!" a victim, calling me a "abuser" for trying to tell them to stop responding and to block me instead of posting more and MORE serious claims and twisting my words, all because they wanted to harass me over a cartoon character!

Plus denying the things that I was talking about were in the show were there when they clearly were, and when someone defended their harassment and apologized, the youtuber only acknowledged the harassment but not that other fan's apology and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH why is this fandom so fucking god awful!? IM SICK OF IT!!!!!!"

You know what, screw it, im done being vague im going to say who HE (not "they", not being vague anymore) was doing to me last night and had refused to stop despite be begging him to do so for the sake of my reputation, prevention of slander, and legal rights:

The post I retweeted because I felt bad that he was being harassed with nationalist stereotypes.

2. Another post such as this, that I also supported.

3. I then posted a thread about Helluva Boss stereotypes, including this one: (Also, the entire episode revolved around SA. For a person that "hates!" talking about things like this he sure likes to look at entire things involving it, plus responding to things about it and then getting mad when I come out as a victim of SA just because I responded to how they were derailing my post and telling me to "CRY ABOUT IT!" and that they were invalidating something that clearly is hurting other victims and he had NO REASON to disclose personal information outside of weaponizing his trauma to excuse his own actions and to make those calling him out look "bad faith!"- Dirgentlemen having harassed people himself not long ago!

4. The "CRY ABOUT IT!" post. Which makes this even more hypocritical because when I said "You made me do this! You made me continue this conversation by posting slander towards me and risking my reputation over a cartoon! HOW AM I "TERRIBLE!" for defending myself after you harassed me?!" he called me a literal "ABUSER!" when by that logic, that would make him a "abuser!" since he posted actually hateful language and said "CRY ABOUT IT!" as if any of the representation that hurts someone "doesnt matter" if he doesnt agree with it, didnt apologize, and instead played victim by acting as if he "didnt want to talk about SA!" and claiming that I was being "innapropiate!" for mentioning my own traumas to defend myself since the fandom constantly tries to invalidate victims and pretend as if we dont exist whenever we mention things like this. Saying that he "didnt want to talk about SA!" at the last second, right after watching an entire episode of a cartoon filled with the subject matter and also harassing me for two hours within a topic instead of "dropping it!" like he said a literal hour before he stopped going after my Twitter blog and posting literal hate!

He was literally acting as if I should have just "let" him talk horribly towards me and that me defending myself from him telling me to "CRY!" about caring about the representation of a subject matter that effects me as someone who's traumatized is "abuse!" As if I somehow dont have the right to mention my trauma, in a public space that he could have easily left at any time, and acting as if I "forced" him to disclouse personal info when I never asked for the sort and just wanted him to LEAVE ME ALONE! Again- what did he expect me to do after he told me that the problem with how Helluva Boss represents SA is "harmful!" while he felt that he could talk down to me and continue the conversation PLUS the slander without any care! Saying "im a victim of this!" doesnt mean "you should mention this if you are that too!" and this was all just emotional manipulation to make me feel bad for saying anything about how he was treating me. LITERALLY! He had NO REASON to mention his personal life in the context of his section of the conversation ("Which was basically just "LOL THERES NO R^PE IN HELLUVA BOSS! Stolas and Blitz are just discovering each other ✨what are you talking about?!")and clearly did this out of pitty to get his fans to see my overall posts as "abusive!" despite the fact that I was just trying to tell him to leave me alone! He kept harassing me for HOURS while I was trying to tell him to stop and that if he didnt want to listen that he should have left the conversation and moved onto something else instead of obsessing over what I was saying for hours!

3. The "BIG MOMENT!" comment, fuming of narcissim and "YOU'RE JUST DOING THIS FOR ATTENTION!" just because I was responding to a blog with a high subscriber account. When I could have cared less about that detail since I just wanted him to leave me alone!

4. Dirgentlemen telling me to drop it, but then continueing to post more slander and no criticism whatsoever as a way to try to get his fandom against what I was saying for another hour!

Again, he had no reason to spread that information, but did so anyway to try to make the fact that he was trying to harass me for posting in a public thread about my own experinces and how it applies to my thoughts on a literal cartoon show, while also being the same man who said this to me not long ago, which made it so I had to defended myself. I have every right not to want be slandered or spoken to that way! -and just because you have a higher subscriber count, that gives you no excuse to harass others and then call them "ABUSERS!" for feeling the need to post evidence of your behavior within said public thread that you could have easily muted instead of shaming me for mentioning SA like you somehow "own" that section of Twitter and everything people say within it. I wasnt "forcing" you to mention anything! I just wanted you to block me so you would'nt post further slander about my blog or my (much smaller!) channel and because let's face it- it's a public thread, and if I want to defend myself from you saying uncalled for shit like this, in front of your 50,000+ subscribers and thousands of followers:

I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO DEFEND MYSELF FOR IT!

THERE IS NEVER A EXCUSE FOR BULLYING OR SLANDER!

NONE! YOU HAD NO REASON TO HARASS ME OTHER THAN TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF FOR YOUR OWN PROBLEMS!

This isn't criticism or letting someone talk about their own experinces and how representation effects them- THIS IS BULLYING!

-and the reason why this conversation even happened, being because he posted a video defending Stolas and Blitz and calling it "grounbreaking representation!" , again, calling me a "sex on screen hater", a "creep" and a "ABUSER!" for saying that he was making me continue a conversation I wasnt comfortable with by throwing out slander and basically acting as if it was "WRONG!" for anyone to call him out for that post in any way whatsoever. When it's obvious that this isnt even a "NEW THING!" and gay men have been represented as toxic or predatory since before the 90s! If anything, the show just furthers harmful stereotypes, in which me mentioning this caused him to tell me to "CRY ABOUT IT!" and then try to get pitty once I told him that how he was treating me was disrespectful, and then telling me that mentioning the fact that I was a sa victim in a PUBLIC SPACE as if this was his "property" somehow was "gross!" while defending harmful representation- AND LITERALLY HARASSING SOMEONE AND USING HIS STATUS TO GET AWAY WITH IT!

He told me I was "gross!" for mentioning MY own traumas in a PUBLIC space and then HARASSED ME over and over and OVER again, keeping up the conversation instead of blocking me and twisting my words and mocking my post repeatedly- but at the same time it's "ok" for him to speak to me that way because he likes a fictional lizard? WHAT THE FUCK?! Literally, forcing me into continuing a conversation I was uncomfortable with by spreading slander and harassing me for talking about my own experince- in a public space when he could have easily BLOCKED ME if he didnt want to see people talking about those experinces.

Instead, he basically tried to control the whole comment seciton (unrealistic) and acted like he "owned" the comments- when the comment section is somewhere that's public! PEOPLE CAN MENTION WHAT THEY WANT! IF YOU DONT LIKE IT JUST BLOCK THEM INSTEAD OF PUBLICALLY SHAMING AND HARASSING THEM FOR POSTING A TRIGGER, GUILT TRIPPING THEM INTO THINKING THAT YOU MENTIONING YOUR OWN INFO WAS "THEIR FAULT" WHEN YOU COULD HAVE EASILY CHOOSEN NOT TO AND HAD BLOCKED ME! INSTEAD YOU CONTINUED TO SPREAD SLANDER THAT COULD GET ME FURTHER HARASSED AND CALLING ME A "ABUSER" FOR FEELING THE NEED TO POST EVIDENCE! WHICH I HAD TO OR THINGS WOULD GET WORSE! BUT NO! YOU KEPT GOING! YOU KEPT HARASSING ME FOR CRTICIZING YOU BACK AFTER YOU WERE VERBALLY HOSTILE AND RUDE TOWARDS ME! AND YOU WOULDNT LEAVE ME ALONE! FOR HOURS- YOU WOULDNT LEAVE ME ALONE LIKE YOU SAID YOU WOULD! INSTEAD OF "DROPPING IT" LIKE YOU TOLD ME TO- YOU KEPT GOING AND I HAD TO BLOCK YOU MYSELF AFTER LITERAL HOURS OF YOU HARASSING ME AND ONLY USING "DROP IT!" TO GUILT TRIP ME FOR DEFENDING MYSELF FROM LITERAL SLANDER AND HARASSMENT!

He knew that having such a large following could get me potientially further harassed, lied about, or even doxxed by the fandom from throwing me out in the open and spreading slander on top of it- but didnt care! All that "mattered" in the end was his validation, him being seen as "right" in the conversation no matter how much basic research he had to deny, him not getting criticized back, and me being seen as the "bad guy" for posting a topic in a public thread that he could have EASILY IGNORED but choose to harass me over anyway! He didnt give a shit about my wellbeing and only cared when it benefited himself and his own reputation! Also his fans did end up harassing me and denying what happened so the "dont worry my fans wont harass anyone!" was a total lie! He had no care for the reputation of the other side to the point of throwing around the word "ABUSER!" without any research into what the word actually mean! With no consideration whatsoever of what this could do to me legally- over a Twitter thread! TWITTER! Who does that?!

I had no choice, I am a much smaller creator and if I didnt post any evidence or say what I was, more of the fandom would not just accuse me of "not" being a sa victim just because I disliked a fictional character, or would have used your posts as a excuse to harass me further! -and ive had enough slander, so I posted evidence as an attempt to keep things from going out of control. Instead, you had a pitty party over something you could have easily blocked and not discloused, and risked my rights legally on top of it by throwing the word "ABUSER!" in a public space as a channel with over 70,000 subscribers! I am a black person under disability who's financially struggling yet you're throwing around the word "abuser" like it's nothing! HOW DO YOU NOT REALIZE HOW DANGEROUS THIS IS LEGALLY?! I could get genuinely hurt because of your behavior! Yet you pushed the word "abuser" on me for having to make myself try to find a way to get you to stop harassing me or to not post my thread out of context to protect my repuatation, as black person, in a world of police brutality! Something that could cause me serious harm, or even get me killed! Instead, you choose to slander me anyway just to benefit your own self and your career! Dir- you're a large channel, harassing a much smaller channel, and shaming someone for mentioning a subject matter in a public space and throwing the word "abuser!" around to get your fans against my blog. Do you want to be taken to court over a Twitter post, is that really the kind of image you want for your channel and your viewers?

How is that feedback? How is that in any way going to help anyone but yourself and your own ego?! I would have had a choice if you had just BLOCKED ME instead of posting slander and harassment that could cause extreme harm to my channel with only 197 subs with a much larger channel posting harassment and slander towards me publically! Instead, you didnt care, took it to the extreme of calling me an "abuser" for saying that I had no choice but to post evidence so you and your fandom wouldnt use the kind of things you were spewing against my repuatation, my channel, or my legal rights later on. Then you know what happened? I ENDED UP BEING HARASSED ANYWAY because you prioritized your ego and my so called "big moment" of speaking to you when I didnt even want to speak to you anymore! But you kept going anyway instead of blocking me in a PUBLIC SPACE where I could mention a serious topic if I so choose, shamed me for mentioning said topic or my own traumas as if you owned a public comment section that you could have left any time so I could talk about Madline's video in peace with someone who apologized because unlike you, said fan actually cared about the wellbeing of others in the situation and actually wanted to listen to what I was saying! You kept harassing me for hours instead of just leaving me alone and not spreading further slander. I was begging you to for hours, but you wouldnt listen!

If you dont like something- block it! Dont shame and harass people for mentioning something triggering just because you dont agree with them on a cartoon! If it's a trigger- BLOCK! Harassing people and then calling them a "abuser!" because you basically used your status to force them into having to continue the conversation to make sure there was enough evidence to not make the harassment worse is BULLYING! Eventually, I had to stop after I posted enough evidence to keep him from using the fact that I mentioned a trigger of his against me, in a public thread, to prevent as much further harassment and the possibility of even more known youtubers attacking me, but that just goes to show that no- I had no choice because he kept making claims that could get me into LEGAL ISSUES because he didnt agree with me on two fictional characters, invalidated MY traumas by telling me to "cry about it!" but then called the fact that I told him that he was making me continue by continuing to spread false information on a public thread "abusive" but not even once acknowledged his own hostility and how horribly he treated me!

He also claimed that he "wasnt" talking about representation in the show that offended him, while the top post was literally this:

He made the post about himself and was clearly talking about Italian representation- otherwise, why even mention that you're italian in this post at all if its not about you or how the representation offended you? How is it "OFFENSIVE OH MY GOD!" to you yet it's "good representation and you should just cry about it! CRY ABOUT IT HATER! LOL BAD FAITH!" if it's representation that doesnt personally offend you? How am I "overly sensitive!" and deserved to be lied about, slandered, and also claimed to be an "abuser!" for telling you to stop harassing me and that you basically forced me into a conversation I didnt want by bullying me and spreading slander as a Youtuber with over 50,000 subscribers, and then cried wolf over mentioning a subject matter that you were mentioning to me MULTIPLE TIMES and clearly didnt have any empathy for how uncomfortable you were making me- at all! Please- if you see this PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE I dont want to talk about this anymore I told you multiple times yet you would'nt listen to me and forced the conversation to keep going by posting slander towards me as a smaller channel.

While you are a "GOOD PERSON WHO DID NO WRONG!" who didnt even apologize once for your own hostile behavior just because again- that you liked pair of fictional characters!

Characters from a cartoon show- that doesnt even exist! Yet the real people in the conversation somehow barely mattered to you, at all, just your ego and the fact that spreading slander over what I had wrote and how "terrible!" it is to post about my personal experinces in a public thread, that you could have easily ignored and not harased me over- made you feel better about yourself!

5. Extra details, but I noticed how he had a fan who was also harassing me and twisting my words, but when said fan apologized he liked the harassment... but not the apology.

Again- with Dir deliberately trying to take things out of context or only focusing on a certain context to benefit himself.

6. Called me not just a "ABUSER!" but an "abliest", again, with no evidence or even feedback- when I even calmly asked them about what I did wrong- and he ignored me! Again- you cant just make serious claims like this and not elaborate on it! WTF?!

7. Again with the "ABUSER!" and misusing serious terms out of hate towards me criticizing him for repeatedly harassing me.

A abuser is someone who "controls, or does "something with cruelty."

Again- how is me admitting to being a victim of assault, telling him that he shouldnt be harassing other victims of assault after he mentioned that he was also a victim because well- I dont know, maybe other victims in the situation matter too Dir and shouldn't be told to "CRY ABOUT IT!" for something that effects them as a victim, aka "cruelty"- so by your logic that would make you an "abuser", but you're not- So what is the point of using this term except to slander me over a show filled with fictional characters! -and when I told them that I was sorry for calling them a "man child" (sorry about that) or asked them "why" him kept screaming about how I was an "abliest"- He never responded?! They just kept posting slander? WHY?! WHY NOT MUTE ME WTF?! I had to block him myself because I knew that he just WOULD NOT STOP if I didnt block him or decide to not put the entire situation in my own hands by continuing to respond to him out of fear of the public slandering me in return or causing me to get into any potiential legal trouble for a 70,000+ subscriber channel claiming that I was a literal "CREEP!" and a "ABUSER!"! because I didnt want him to harass me over a cartoon character and felt that I needed to respond to DEFEND MYSELF FROM BEING HARASSED BY HIS FANDOM AGAIN and telling him to not harass me because I had every fucking right to! NO ONE deserves to be harassed and to tell someone that they basically "deserve" it because you disagree with them is disgusting!

Almost no consideration for my legal rights, my representation, reputation, nothing! No consideration outside of what makes him look "good!" Im honestly disgusted by how he handled the situation, when he could have easily blocked instead of choosing to harass my blog and make claims that have nothing to do with what I said such as "you just dont like seeing sex on screen!" or "you hate when shows represent toxic gay couples, even if this has been done before and im just using this as an excuse to ignore the fetishization!" and using his large audience to get away with literal harassment when I had every right to defend myself from him telling me to "CRY ABOUT!" something that hurt me mockingly and throwing out serious claims such as this when he literally made me have to defend myself!

Hell, I even apologized for saying "man child" and told him to stop responding and to block me- but of course he did, and then told me to be "hurt somewhere else" while continuing to talk about the episode of the show, the episode where there's constant SA and abuse and a literal public thread that he could have choosen to block me over instead of continously harassing me and making serious claims that could put my life at stake! Legal ones!

If you dont want me mentioning things like this-

Just BLOCK ME instead of continuing the conversation as an excuse to tell me how "wrong!" i am for not wanting you to harass me further, instead you kept going on about it despite claiming that you wanted me to "drop it!", again, as a attempt to make me look "abusive!" for fighting back in ANY SORT OF WAY against YOUR own slander and verbal attacks towards me, over a cartoon, and then used serious claims such as outright calling me an "ABUSER!" that made it so I had to continue in order to protect myself LEGALLY because of just how fucking iresponsible you are since you decided to harass a teenager online over a cartoon, and then accused them of being a "abuser" and a "creep!" for mentioning their trauma and how Helluva Boss is sexualizing said type of trauma! -and now am having to post this so I dont get into legal trouble because of how you tried to flip the narrative so people wouldnt point out your harassment.

God.... this guy is insufferable. I wish the best for him and im sorry that he is being harassed, but that gives him no excuse to harass people in return! Especially if almost worse than just "italians funny!" because it's denying the existence of the fetishization of sexual harassment- something I even SHOWED TO HIS FACE yet he still denied things and told me to "CRY ABOUT IT!" and outright MOCKED ME OVER and didnt say "pwease dont talk about this uwu! Im a victim and autistic too so that automatically makes you a bad person for mentioning your traumas in PUBLIC TWITTER THREAD that I could have easily blocked so you could talk about a cartoon character in peace without being HARASSED by me, a grown man with a big youtube channel with fans that are now harassing you because of what I did! LMAO CRY ABOUT IT! XD" until after I was starting to tell you to not harass me, yet you kept going because you did not care about how continuing the conversation effected me, my representation, my rights against literal slander and bullying, my legal rights, OR my mental and physical health, absulotely no consideration for my wellbeing whatsoever!

FUCK OFF!

Now- im posting this here because im having to defend my rights and representation from a Hazbin stan with over ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND SUBSCRIBERS to keep myself from having to have even MORE hazbin stans going after my blog than there already is or from getting into legal trouble from Dir's inconsiderate behavior!

Honestly-

WHAT THE FUCK?!

[gaffney]

I really admire how you're able to ship every duck with Charlie lol

LMAO. look. is it my fault that charlie has chemistry with everyone on the team? no!!! heart of the team etc etc 😌 idk, i just love love. i love the idea of different types of relationships with different types of people, and the possibilities that come with each type of love. i love the idea of finding a 'true love' in different people (platonic or romantic). and i just love exploring different dynamics!!! like, for ex. charlie/jesse is a completely different dynamic from charlie/adam, so it's fun to be able to write that. HOPEFULLY i'll add to my growing charlie/duck collection in the future

[cakesdown]

kids these days don't understand the deep seeded toxicity that was the creepypasta fandom circa 2013-2016 or how lucky they have it rn. I'm so grateful that kids can just exist in the fandom space again without getting dogpiled by weird entitled adults

[scarluxia]

Opinion: People don't need to be "good" in order to deserve basic human compassion.

Treating people poorly because they're "bad" can actually lead to even more destructive behavior, coupled with poor coping mechanisms that may prove fatal. That's not my background in abnormal psychology studies talking. That's me, the person behind the screen. I've always tended towards, for example, Slytherin House, Team Valor, the factions with the bad reputations... not to be cool or edgy, but because I know what it's like to be ostracized and unwanted. I know many of you will relate to me on this, and it brings me comfort to know I'm no longer alone. I grew up with a few different disabilities and disorders. I was bullied in school and, whenever I retaliated, I was the one punished for bad behavior. I was suspended and expelled from so many schools, for what I saw as "trying to stand up for myself when no-one else would." My family was... critical, to put it kindly. I was a straight-A student for most of my academic career. 100%, A+, got me praise and affection. Anything less, even 98%, was met with disappointment and "What did you do wrong?" I was a dutiful student and I was embarrassingly obedient as a child, at least until it came to not retaliating. I was labelled a problem child because I had a TEMPER. Actually, what I had was an undiagnosed personality disorder that no-one knew how to name or treat back then. So they punished me for it. I became the type of person who was afraid to get attached to anyone. When I did have a friend-- usually just the one, maybe two if I was really lucky-- I was extraordinarily jealous and protective of our time together. Those friendships didn't tend to last long as a result, so I went through life feeling abandoned, because I was too young to really comprehend what I was doing wrong. I could have easily become just as evil as any villain you see in books, movies, or TV. Actually, in my mid-teens, some would argue that I was, and I wouldn't disagree. I remember trying to invite classmates to my 16th birthday party; the teachers told them not to come, and the parents threatened to call the police. When I was 19, I got back in contact with someone I'd hurt. I apologized and explained to them how karma had gotten me back. This person has the most amazing, loving heart of anyone I've ever met. She forgave me, sat patiently with me (both online and in person) through many outbursts and meltdowns, helped me process relationships where others were causing more damage to me and my personality. Without the compassion and kindness she showed me, I could have spiralled and been an even worse person than I'd been before. In my life, I've been abused and taken advantage of in every possible way. I could have easily succumbed to misanthropic nihilism, and for a time, I did. When my friend dropped contact with me in our mid-teens, she made it clear that I was actually the worst. After a period of self-pity, followed by a period of self-loathing, I noticed there were so many kind, pure, loving people I would have loved to be friends with, but they didn't want anything to do with me because of my awful reputation. So after some time, I decided to try to become better. I wanted HER forgiveness, and the fact that she granted it several years later was just so extraordinary to me. It's what pulled me back from the brink. She's guided me towards becoming a better person bit by bit. I need people to understand that that is a PRIVILEGE I was granted. Not everybody has that kind of connection in their life. Not everyone HAS SOMEONE who can model healthy behavior or offer unconditional love. That is why I'm so quick to offer compassion and forgiveness towards villains. I'm analytical of their behavior and the *reasons* behind why they do what they do. I can be sympathetic and compassionate without CONDONING their actions, and that's a nuance that I feel is lost to a lot of people, if some of the fandom discussions I've been witnessing are any indication. Unfortunately, that also means I've gotten hurt a lot by continuing to give people the benefit of the doubt long after it became unhealthy and unreasonable to do so. After they'd already shown me their true colors. I try to see the best in people because someone saw the flickering possibility of good in me. And once someone betrays my trust, well... that's their mistake to make, I guess. I'm here to encourage empathy, not make threats right now. I was, due to a series of misfortunes and traumas inflicted on me, once a horrible person. Someone showed me persistent compassion and kindness, and I was careful not to throw it back in her face once I understood how valuable that kindness was. That's it, that's the point of this essay. My favorite characters are the people I most see myself in, whether old or new. Make of that what you will. And PLEASE, try to let people have opinions on THEIR favorite characters, factions, what-have-you, without making judgment calls about their personal morality. Don't be tacky 💚

[yaoigoddess9158]

I’ve done it

After several years of struggling with his hair, I’ve finally kind of gotten it to work out

YIPPPEEEEEEEEEEE

(No eyes ver, cause the eyes were a last minute addition and kinda look weird)

Omg… I just realized that I can now draw art for the characters I couldn’t in the past… this is an amazing revelation I’m gonna go make Kokichi fanart

[shizucheese]

Hey guys, we need to talk. Because a certain little something in TMAGP 8 is causing what is genuinely the most toxic part of the Magpod fandom at large to once again rear its ugly head. So let's talk about podcast character appearance head canons, shall we?

I'm tagging this with the Magnus Archives, TMA and Magpod tags because I am absolutely calling all of you out, but if you don't want spoilers for The Magnus Protocol episode 8 then stop reading right now.

.

.

. Okay, so, Gerry exists in the TMAGP universe. He's happy (or at least acts cheerful). And some people have headcanoned this to mean that he is no longer goth, or at the very least isn't dying his hair black with bad box color. And other people have decided to get seriously agro over this. I have literally seen with my very own eyeballs someone call "un-gothing" Gerry a "hate crime" and calling the person they were talking to "gothphobic."

Let me make this absolutely clear for all of you: podcasts are a purely audio medium and unless a physical trait of theirs is explicitely stated, everyone's headcanon for how a character appears is valid. Goth TMAGP Gerry is valid. But also

Rainbow Goth TMAGP Gerry is valid. Pastel Goth TMAGP Gerry is valid.

Not Goth At All TMAGP Gerry is valid.

Bald Gerry who has actually gotten his brain cancer diagnosed in time and is getting treated for it is valid. Somebody's headcanon of a character that has no canonical description to them, or whose headcanon matches the few crumbs of canonical description we have but otherwise doesn't look the way you imagine them to, is not going to take away from your own headcanon of what a character looks like. If someone imagining or drawing a character looking a different way from how you imagine them looking somehow takes away from your enjoyment of the fandom or otherwise makes you feel like you need to barge in and tell them that they're Wrong and need to conform to your headcanon or else, that is a reflection on you, not them.

And this problem way predates TMAGP, let alone TMAGP 8. The only description we have of John is that he is in his early 30's and has prematurely greying hair.

If someone thinks he looks like the pastiest motherfucker to ever dwell in a basement, an extra-in-the-Adam's Family or Tim Burtan protagonist of a man, let them.

What's that? You want to tell them that John is BROWN and if they don't headcanon him looking that way they're WRONG and RACIST? Back away from the keyboard and go outside.

(Ironically, as someone who started getting grey hairs in my hair in my 20's myself, I'm pretty sure everyone's headcanon of John, with tiny little whisps of grey in his hair, is wrong, because if he was so grey that people were surprised to learn he was "a child of the 90's," he was probably full on salt-and-pepper when he was in his 20's.)

The only description we have for Martin is that he (man who canonically has the self esteem of a used doormat) describes himself as "not the smallest guy", Not-Sasha called him "roomy", Melanie is skinner than him, and Jonny said he imagined him as a "bigger guy" who would beat Alex in a physical fight. If someone decides to take this information and conclude that it means he's tall, broad and has muscle, rather than that he's overweight, fucking let them. If your first instinct to this is to run to your keyboard and call them "fatphobic" or otherwise bash them for it, I once again urge you to back away from your keyboard and go outside.

Someone headcanons Basira not wearing a headscarf? We have exactly 0 canonical physical description of her and the people who headcanon her as having one are basing that purely off of her name alone. Fucking let them. Someone headcanons Melanie and/ or Georgie as a skin color you don't agree with or a hairstyle you don't like? Fucking let them. As long as someone's headcanon of a character's description doesn't contradict the few canonical descriptions we have of a character, why do you care? Them having a different headcanon from you doesn't take away your right to imagine the characters looking however you like, anymore than it should take away their right to do the same. Someone headcanoning John as white (or Black, or Asian, or Mixed, or whatever) isn't going to make all of the fanart of John as brown with long hair suddenly disappear, nor the fanfiction describing him as such (although I do often wonder if the opposite is not true; is the fact that John looks the same in so much of the fanart I see on here really because of fandom "consensus", or is it because people are absolutely awful to anyone who draws him Different?). Someone headcanoning Martin as not fat isn't going to make the mountains of fanart of him as a fluffy little marshmallow vanish into the void (although I do remember hearing about someone getting bullied off the internet for daring to draw Martin as not fat). And someone headcanoning Gerry in TMAGP as not being goth isn't going to take away your preciouse goth TMAGP Gerry headcanon. That should be part of the fun of it, shouldn't it? Seeing what different images people have conjured in their heads of these characters we only get to experience with our ears, and celebrating the differences as well as the similarities? Why are we bullying people into conforming to one appearance of a character when no actual canonical appearance of them exists?

[uglypastels]

omg what about Logan being like the softest with a sensitive/shy reader. Idk in what context like maybe she’s just overwhelmed with life and kinda closed off in terms of voicing what’s wrong and you know he’s usually very stoic but he’s the BIGGEST softy. Totally not projecting btw.

YEsss Logan is such a fucking softie, no matter how hard he'd want to try and hide it. thank you for being my first request for this fandom i hope i can do it some justice 🫶 and pleeease, we love to project here so please, go right ahead.

warnings: darkness. anxiety. loneliness. alcohol. fem!reader. reader's mutation specified. mentions of past [implied toxic] relationship. so some angst but also bunch of fluff at the end. also please don't come for me if he's a bit out of character. this is my first time writing Logan so it will be trial and error.

~ X-Men Requests Open ~ Masterlist ~

It was the dead of the night. Quite literally. All around you was so quiet and dark that the rest of the world might as well have ceased to exist. All you heard was the floorboards creaking under your footsteps as slivers of moonlight illuminated your path through the corridors of the mansion. It was the rare instance that you felt at peace. 

Yes, you knew almost as soon as you stepped inside the large building and saw all these mutants walking around happily and carelessly that you had found a true safe haven, and yet, months later, you still had not found your bearings. It did not help that you were not exactly in the age bracket of most of the residents here. Having the mansion double as a school meant most of the mutants were in that school-going age range, and while they were lovely (for the most part), you had no desire to befriend children. Then, those who you felt more drawn to socially, like Storm or Jean, were all apart of that special ops team, which always left them busy, if not completely absent, while away on missions. 

Thus, most of your days went by in solitude. Something you had gotten used to throughout your life. Over the years it had become natural for you to simply disappear into your surroundings. Wether you wanted to or not, people simply overlooked you. In hindsight, it explained your mutation perfectly… or was that just an aftereffect of it? You had always wondered if it was one’s personality that influenced the mutation or the other way around.

Either way, for you, it all merged into one dark abyss. 

By now, you had gotten a hang of all the floor plans of the giant building, especially the route between your room and the kitchens. 

You hadn’t checked the clock when you got out of bed, but it must have been around 2 am, if not later. You didn’t expect anyone to be up at this ungodly hour. Especially not walking out of the dark kitchen exactly as you were coming through the threshold. The two of you bump, chest to chest, and the contact immediately made you burst out in a high-pitched scream. From the other side of the impact, you heard a muffled grunt and the sound of a blade being pulled. That was enough for your flight or fight mode to activate. You almost choked on the deep breath you took. The blade swung in your direction, but it only slashed the air where you once stood. 

‘Who’s there?’ it was a male voice. Hard and deep, almost wild. In your other form, your eyes adapted much better to the dark, and so you could see him looking around himself wildly. You counted the sharp appendages in his hands— no, they were coming out of his arms— six long claw-like blades ready to impale the very first thing that’d move. 

There was no doubt about it that this must have been the infamous Logan everyone around the mansion talked about. From what you had heard, he had been away for almost a year on some top-secret assignment for the Professor, but now he had apparently returned.

And what a comeback he has made, nearly stabbing you in the hallway.

‘Who’s there?’ he repeated his question louder, still looking around.

‘Just me.’ Your voice came out as the exact opposite of his, soft and weak, and you immediately regretted your words. Just me, as if he was supposed to know what that meant.

But it must have done the trick, as Logan retracted his claws. His shoulders visibly slacked at the lack of imminent danger.

‘Well, Me, you can come out of hiding. I’m not gonna hurt ya,’ he grumbled, ‘let me just turn the light on–’ 

‘Wait!’ You squeezed your eyes shut and let the cool air of the night brush over your bare arms. When you opened them again, all you could see was Logan’s large frame standing inside the kitchen, most likely hovering over the light switch, surprised at your sudden call.

‘Sorry, you can uhm– turn the lights on now.’ And like that, with a quiet flick, the kitchen illuminated with a soft orange glow. 

Logan’s eyes were immediately on you, scanning you up and down for any sign of recognition, but you already knew there would be none. Even if he had ever seen you before, there never was.

‘Do I know you?’ he cocked his head with the question, and all you could do was shake your head. 

‘I doubt it.’ No one knew you, but that didn’t feel like a smart response.

‘Care to introduce yourself, Bub?’ He leaned against the wall with the light switch, and maybe it was his overall greatness as he practically towered over you, but you felt a rush of heat fall over your face as he looked down at you in expectance. Awkwardly, you pushed out the sounds that formed your name, with a bonus of an extended hand for him to shake. 

‘And you must be Logan, right?’

He confirmed your suspicion with a grunt as he took your hand, squeezed firmly, but not painfully, and shook it once. Then, silence fell between you. 

Two strangers who met in a complete, nearly fatal accident. It was only to be expected you would have nothing to say to one another. But you were, after all both awake this late in the night, and that was enough to compel you to talk. 

‘Couldn’t sleep?’

‘Just got back, actually.’ His eyes glanced to your side and that is when you noticed the duffel bag that lay in the corridor. Then, only when you looked back at him did you take in what he was wearing. Not the expected gym shorts or sweatpants with an old shirt. Instead, Logan was dressed in a black button-up under a dark motorcycle jacket. With that, he had a boot cut-jeans and the boots to match. From the tiny dark dotted pattern on his shoulders and the light pitter-pattering that was occurring outside, it was visible he had just come from out of the rain. 

Immediately, a parade of questions entered your mind. Where had he been? Why did he come back so late? What was he doing in the kitchen? And so much more, though none of it would leave your mouth as you doubted he would talk to you about his secret mission. 

‘You alright?’ His brows furrowed as he looked down at you, and you realised how you must have looked. Staring up at him with wide eyes, not saying a single thing. Another heat flare hit your cheeks.

‘Yeah, I’m fine.’

He cocked his head in an examinatory fashion. The disbelief evident in his eyes. 

‘You’re new here, aren’t you?’

‘Relatively,’ you shrugged. ‘Got here a few months ago.’

‘Parents kicked you out?’ He assumed the most common backstory that comes with the residents of the mansion.

‘Not exactly,’ you kept your response short. After all, you could hardly tell a stranger you just met that your boyfriend had kicked you out of your shared apartment when he found out about your genetic abnormality. You had never been sure how he would have reacted, but the events that unfolded were even beyond your imagination. But the past was the past, and you didn’t want to dwell on it. The important part was that not a day after this conversation, you were crying in your car with nowhere to go. It was by chance that weeks after your break-up/eviction, you stumbled into some other mutants who told you about the Professor. You weren’t too sure about going to seek shelter at a school of all places, but in reality, the Academy was much more than that. Though it did give you the perfect opportunity to safely train your abilities.

That and so much more was what went through your head, but you didn’t say any of that to Logan. Why would you? He didn’t know you. He didn’t care about your problems, and you didn’t blame him for it. 

On the contrary, you appreciated that he didn’t press you for more details. When you answered the way you did, he simply nodded in understanding and made his way over to the fridge. The blue glow illuminated his tense features. Strange, for a man who had been a year on the go on some secret spy adventure, you would have expected him to return at least a bit beaten up. But besides maybe some signs of a bad sleep schedule, no form of strain was visible on his face.

‘You want something?’ he looked over at you, making you realise you had been, in fact, staring and not very subtly either. 

‘I’m good, thanks.’ 

‘Suit yourself,’ he went back to inspecting the contents of the fridge before sighing with disappointment. ‘They still don’t have anything stronger around here?’

‘Oh, if you’re looking for beer–’ you walked over to a cabinet at the other end of the kitchen. You tapped a corner, and a small code pad appeared. You tapped in the code, and the cabinet opened to reveal a fully stocked mini-bar. ‘Scott had it installed over the summer,’ you explained when you saw Logan’s confused expression.

‘Explains the babyproofing.’ He walked over, and you handed him a cool bottle of beer.

‘Well, it is a school after all.’ You held in a smile as the thought occurred to you that the kids might not have been the only ones who weren’t supposed to know about the secret compartment. The rivalry between Cyclops and the Wolverine was known all too well around the whole campus, even for newcomers such as yourself.

Logan smirked, taking his beer. You were about to offer a bottle opener, but he hit the neck of the bottle against the edge of the table and with a pop and a clink, the cap came right off. 

‘Here,’ he exchanged your bottles, giving you the open one. You watched him repeat his actions with the second drink. Your eyes were still on him as he chugged down half of the beer in one go. He probably could have downed the whole thing if it wasn’t for his look down at you, most likely noticing your entranced look.

‘That staring a part of your powers, too, then?’ he commented, and the acknowledgement immediately made you turn your head in the direction of the window.

‘Sorry. I just— I tend to do that, I guess.’ You wrinkled your nose. Being on your own around so many people, you had gotten used to people watching, observing them from a distance like a show on TV that you kept on for the background noise.

‘What do you do, anyway?’ He asked bluntly, ‘I thought I had done you in good back there.’

‘You would have,’ you chuckled, remembering just how close his claws had come into contact with you. ‘It’s hard to explain. I just kind of—’ You noticed the shadow that fell over the floor from the table and lightly grazed it with the tip of your toe. With a deep breath, the world in front of you changed. Except the exact opposite was the truth. ‘Disappear.’ You finished the sentence, punctuated by your new state.

Logan’s eyes widened as you disappeared in front of his eyes. Where the shock came from, he couldn’t explain. He had encountered these sorts of mutants before. But this felt different than regular invisibility or teleportation. With his heightened senses, he could always detect those sorts of hijinks. No one ever disappeared to him. But you— as soon as you had faded away, it was as if you had completely fallen off the face of the earth. Not a single trace of you lingered behind. When you spoke, just as you had in the hallway, your voice didn’t seem to be coming from one place. It was all around him, almost like a whisper, a voice inside his own head.

With a blink of an eye, you reappeared before him. Just as you had stood there moments before.

‘There’s not really a name for this, I think; at least no one around here could come up with anything that made sense.’ Not that you had any conversations that made people interested enough to do the research. ‘But from my own understanding, I kind of become one with the shadows.’

‘And what about the light?’ he recalled your yelp when he had tried to turn on the light.

‘I merge with the dark, and so when new light sources interfere… it’s not pretty.’

Logan simply nodded as he took the last swig of his beer.

For a moment, the two of you stood there in silence, you leaning against the counter and he against the large table. 

‘You’re doing it again, Bub.’ He smirked, calling out your lost stare. 

‘Sorry,’ you hadn’t even realised you were doing it. You had just been looking around the room and may have, perhaps, accidentally lingered a look at his frame for a few seconds. And then you caught sight of his hands. More specifically, his knuckles. There was a faint pink glow on the skin, but besides that, you would never be able to tell that deadly claws could grow out from there. You blinked. ‘Sorry.’ You were doing it again. Quickly, you drank the rest of your beer. The bitter taste lingered in your throat, suffocating the burning questions that you wanted to ask.

‘Spill it out.’ He hit you by surprise with the command.

‘Uh–what?’

You knew there were plenty of mindreaders around, but you had not thought it was one of Logan’s abilities. ‘How did you–’

‘It’s all in your face, sweetheart. You think just ‘cause you’re quiet, you’re hard to read, don’t you.’ His assumption left you a bit stunned. It wasn’t that you had thought exactly that, but more so that you never considered that you were making any expressions that were that easy to interpret, as you never really had anyone pay that much attention to you to point it out.

 ‘If you want to say something, just say it.’ Logan said the corner of his lips lifted in a small smile. ‘If you’re wondering if it hurts,’ he looked down at his knuckles, ‘it hurts just as any other one-foot-long knife cutting through skin.’

‘That’s awful.’ You gasped, considering what it must be like to have such a mutation that inadvertently harmed you any time you used it.

‘You get used to it after a while.’ 

Another round of silence. This time, the longer it went on, the more you started thinking how you must be inconveniencing him. With the beers drank, there was little for you both to still be doing here, but also didn’t want to be rude by just up and leaving. After all, you didn’t know Logan very well. 

‘You sure you’re alright?’ He asked, coming out from behind the table.

‘Yeah.’ You tried to smile but could tell it probably did not reach your eyes. Logan moved with a sense of apprehension, unsure of how to approach you. Being a year on the road, not to mention the years of solitude before he had joined the Professor’s team, had not exactly prepared him for these kinds of situations. He didn’t know the right things to do or to say. But to you, just his presence was enough. Just him being there, talking, or in this case, just seeing you, was more than you could have asked for. ‘I’m good.’ 

And yet, ironically, though you had actually meant it for once, you really did feel alright, but something about the situation caused tears to prickle in the corners of your eyes. Maybe it was the sleep deprivation that made you overly sensitive. Or the alcohol. 

You blinked the tears away and smiled awkwardly. ‘It’s just been a long day.’ or week. Month. Year. How about your entire life?

‘Yeah, tell me about it.’ There was that quirk in his lip again, that ghost of a smile. And you couldn’t figure out if his response was just a sarcastic quip, understandably referring to his past days, which you were sure did not consist of a walk in the park. Or did he actually mean it, and he did want you to tell him more? Well, your moment of contemplation brought on another wave of silence, and the heavier it fell, the worse you felt to go back to your problems.

The sudden sound of footsteps pulled you back into your world. People must be slowly waking up; meanwhile, you hadn’t had an hour of sleep yet, and the effect of that started to hit.

‘I should— should probably go.’ You muttered, taking small steps in the direction of the door.

‘Well, the offer always stands.’ Logan followed you with his eyes, turning in his spot as you passed by him. See you around, Nightshade.’

‘What?’ the nickname caught you off-guard, stopping you in your tracks. 

‘Sorry,’ Logan winced, ‘I don’t know—’ that’s what he gets for trying to be cute. 

‘No, don’t apologise. I like it.’ Your smile finally found its full form. A “thank you” almost slipped past it, but you held yourself back. It felt too cheesy to get all sentimental about something as silly as a nickname. Especially since he didn’t know what it meant for you. He didn’t need to know didn’t think you’d ever belong amongst these people enough to get a moniker. 

And maybe it didn’t mean anything at all, maybe he had just said it as a mindless comment on your powers. Or maybe not. Maybe he had really tried hard to put that smile on your face. 

You would never know.

Unless you took that one small step. Because, of course, all you had to do was ask, just like he had told you, but maybe another time. For now, you just bid him farewell, hoping for that next opportunity to certainly come sooner than later.

the end.

thank you for reading 💗

if you enjoyed the fic, please consider reblogging and leaving a comment. or send a message via my inbox. requests are also more than welcome. 💗

[secretmellowblog]

Jean Valjean's Canon Toxic Unhealthiness around Romantic Love

( alternate titles: “Does Jean Valjean is Gay?”, or “Does Jean Valjean is Asexual?” Or: “Why is it so difficult to slap an identity/sexuality label onto Jean Valjean?” Or “LGBTPTSD+”)

I was looking at the responses to this poll about whether people interpret Jean Valjean as gay/asexual/straight or something else….and it got me thinking again about Jean Valjean’s canonical intense, complex, awful, toxic, and overwrought emotions around identity/ romantic love. I want to talk about that for a bit because I think it often gets overlooked in fandom!

I've noticed that Les Mis fandom/analysis often tends to interpret Jean Valjean as being far more content, more "at peace with himself," and more "comfortable in his own skin" than he ever is within the novel. This is also a common change in adaptations. The musical's version of Jean Valjean is great-- but he also seems a lot more self-actualized, more like he's gotten himself completely "figured out" by the end of the story. Other, bad, Les Mis adaptations — the adaptations that generally portray Jean Valjean a worse more violent person — also usually make Jean Valjean more confident in himself, more confident in his own feelings/desires, more certain that he’s entitled to certain things, and more willing to demand or take what he wants.

But one major aspect of book Jean Valjean's personality is that he does not have a healthy relationship with anything about himself. He has a tortured broken relationship with his own identity. He repeatedly thinks about “Jean Valjean” as a person outside of himself, a person who he finds frightening, repulsive, savage, and horrible— like a wild animal he needs to sedate, or beat into submission. He is obsessed with self-denial and self-repression. He is fixated on the idea that he is subhuman, that he is not allowed to want things or to pursue having any kinds of relationships with other people-- and that the most heroic thing he can do is "grab himself by the collar” and violently force himself to stay away from the things he wants. He is desperate to be loved and fixated on being unworthy of love and on denying himself love. He is absolutely not at peace with his identity: to paraphrase Jean Valjean in one of the later chapters, he believes he can only gain inner peace by “eviscerating his own entrails.”

He is never truly content with who he is, what he wants, or what kind of love he wants— and he never learns to be. The novel ends with him cutting himself off from his only family, breaking ties with the only person who loves him, and essentially slowly killing himself out of self-loathing.

There are other characters in Les Mis who seem very content with who they are and what they want. Enjolras is self-assured in his identity, and doesn’t appear to feel like there is any kind of love that is missing from his life. Whether you interpret him as gay or ace or trans or w/e, book!Enjolras is written as someone who is extremely self-assured and has a loving support system that is enough to keep him happy. But I don’t think that’s true for Jean Valjean at all XD.

And that’s why it's hard to apply labels like “aromantic” or “ace” or gay/straight/etc to Jean Valjean, when talking about his canon characterization. Those labels imply the person has a basic level of comfort with acknowledging their own desires/lack of desire/identity. And Jean Valjean never achieves that level of comfort. What “label” do you give to someone whose relationship with their identity is “I do not belong in a family, I have no right to want things, I have no right to be happy, I am outside of life, and I will never be at peace until I eviscerate my own entrails?” Is there a “self-disembowelment" pride flag? XD I've seen a lot of interpretations that go "Jean Valjean never expresses any interest in romance, he's perfectly content just to have his relationship with his daughter" but I honestly don't think that's true. Jean Valjean tries to content himself with having only Cosette. But part of why everything explodes so catastrophically in the end of the novel is because he needs more than just a paternal relationship. He doesn’t try to have a “normal” father-daughter relationship with Cosette, he tries to force his relationship with Cosette to be literally everything and everyone to him, for her to be his entire world: and it doesn’t work.

There’s a passage in the novel that talks about how all the love Valjean is capable of ends up being suppressed/sublimated into his relationship with Cosette. The love of a brother, of a friend, of a father, of a husband, the love of everything he is capable of, gets repressed so that he can throw every part of himself into being a father. There are Bad les mis adaptations that incorrectly misinterpret that passage to mean that Jean Valjean is incestuous/grooming Cosette. But in context, that’s not what the passage means at all.

The passage specifies very explicitly that Jean Valjean “did not love Cosette otherwise than as a father,” that “no marriage was possible between them,” that his feelings for her are absolutely paternal. But the passage does show how Jean Valjean is doing a very different unhealthy thing: he’s relying on Cosette to fill every single emotional void in his life.

He’s relying on parenthood to fill the grief/emptiness left behind by all the other kinds of love that he has wanted, but never been given.

To quote a bit of that passage:

Jean Valjean did not love Cosette otherwise than as a father (…) Let the reader recall the situation of heart which we have already indicated. No marriage was possible between them; not even that of souls; and yet, it is certain that their destinies were wedded. With the exception of Cosette, that is to say, with the exception of a childhood, Jean Valjean had never, in the whole of his long life, known anything of that which may be loved. The passions and loves which succeed each other had not produced in him those successive green growths, tender green or dark green, which can be seen in foliage which passes through the winter and in men who pass fifty. In short, and we have insisted on it more than once, all this interior fusion, all this whole, of which the sum total was a lofty virtue, ended in rendering Jean Valjean a father to Cosette. A strange father, forged from the grandfather, the son, the brother, and the husband, that existed in Jean Valjean; a father in whom there was included even a mother; a father who loved Cosette and adored her, and who held that child as his light, his home, his family, his country, his paradise.

Jean Valjean reminds me of a Failmode I’ve seen in a lot of different real-life parents? There are parents who cope with their own hard lives by telling themselves that parenthood is their sole reason for being alive, and who obsess over their child’s success as their only source of purpose, meaning, love, happiness, community, and validation. But it’s a bad idea to rely on one child to provide the emotional support that should be shared by friends, parents, siblings, every possible loved one, etc etc—- One child can’t actually heal you from your trauma, be a replacement for your broken relationships, pull you out of your grief, save you from your adult loneliness, etc etc etc etc.

When I see the common interpretation that Jean Valjean is perfectly content just to be the father of Cosette, I think of this line:

Thus when he saw that the end had absolutely come, that she was escaping from him, that she was slipping from his hands, that she was gliding from him, like a cloud, like water, when he had before his eyes this crushing proof: “another is the goal of her heart, another is the wish of her life; there is a dearest one, I am no longer anything but her father, I no longer exist”; when he could no longer doubt, when he said to himself: “She is going away from me!” the grief which he felt surpassed the bounds of possibility. To have done all that he had done for the purpose of ending like this! And the very idea of being nothing!

On one hand, the terrible Les mis adaptations that portray Valjean as Incest Creep are incorrect and wrong. On the other hand, though, Jean Valjean IS unhealthy about Cosette— just in a different and actually sympathetic way.

He has made fatherhood his only purpose, to replace every other purpose he could have in life. So he can’t be “just Cosette’s father.” He can’t imagine her becoming an adult and leaving the nest, like children do. What does he have if he’s not taking care of her? What is his purpose in life if she doesn’t need him to be her parent? He's not just being her father, he's relying on her to be his entire reason to exist. He hasn't been allowing himself to have things outside of her.

And speaking of things outside of Cosette: segue time. This post was supposed to be about Jean Valjean and romance, so let's switch gears and talk about his canon 'romantic experiences' more:

We’re told that in his youth he “never had a sweetheart” because he “never had time to be in love.” There is no indication that Jean Valjean never wanted to be in love. The opposite is implied. Hugo frames it as a tragedy that Jean Valjean’s does not experience young love; it’s the horror of poverty taking yet another thing from him.

Within prison, Valjean is “gloomy” and “chaste;” when he traumadumps to Montparnasse about it, he talks about women looking on galley slaves with horror and disgust. Romance, at least “normal” heterosexual romance, is no longer something that is permitted for him. Jean Valjean knows very little about romance/love/sex and it repeatedly messes up his life. He spends 19 years in the all-male environment of prison, then about a decade in the almost-all-female environment of the convent. He has very little experience with how men and women are supposed to interact. The oppression Fantine faces as a sex worker, and Cosette's relationship with Marius, are both two big 'blind spots' that he struggles with.

At one point romantic love is described as “The only misery Jean Valjean had not yet experienced, and the only one that is sweet.”

In his massive confession to Marius, he agonizes over how he is not allowed to be part of a family, and is incapable of being part of a home. He compares himself to someone sick and diseased, that poisons good and normal people with his presence, and cannot be allowed to make himself part of their families.

So Jean Valjean doesn’t frame Romance as “a thing he doesn’t want:” it’s a thing “he is not allowed to want,” it is one of the many things he is banned from wanting. It's impossible to tell what kind of things he would want, if he were allowed to want them.

One of the most interesting things to me, however, is his general attitude towards Marius/Cosette.

Obviously his first reaction to Marius snooping around is fear and resentment— he doesn’t know to interact with romance, having never experienced it, and immediately begins catastrophizing. He views Marius as a privileged booby ruining his life for something as frivolous as a love affair: it reads to me as partially envy, envy of the fact that Marius lives the kind of safe comfortable life that allows him to experience young love.

Jean Valjean added: “What does he want? A love affair! A love affair! And I? What! I have been first, the most wretched of men, and then the most unhappy, and I have traversed sixty years of life on my knees, I have suffered everything that man can suffer, I have grown old without having been young, I have lived without a family, without relatives, without friends, without life, without children, I have left my blood on every stone, on every bramble, on every mile-post, along every wall, I have been gentle, though others have been hard to me, and kind, although others have been malicious, I have become an honest man once more, in spite of everything, I have repented of the evil that I have done and have forgiven the evil that has been done to me, and at the moment when I receive my recompense, at the moment when it is all over, at the moment when I am just touching the goal, at the moment when I have what I desire, it is well, it is good, I have paid, I have earned it, all this is to take flight, all this will vanish, and I shall lose Cosette, and I shall lose my life, my joy, my soul, because it has pleased a great booby to come and lounge at the Luxembourg.”

But, even though Jean Valjean views romance as something he isn’t allowed or have or to want, views it as a threat and catastrophizes over how it will ruin his life……he seems to also put heterosexual romance on a pedestal.

The way Jean Valjean idealizes marriage is one of his weirdest character notes for me.

He views marriage as Cosette’s “happy ending.” It’s her “happily ever after” point where she won’t need him anymore, where she won’t need anyone outside of her husband. A Man And a Woman Are Meant to Get Married, It's Fate, and It Means They Will Live Happily Together Forever. Marius is “the goal of her heart, the wish of her life; her dearest one.” Nothing outside of that matters anymore.

He treats her marriage as if romantic love is inherently always more important than any kind of platonic relationships, and always takes priority over them. He later dismisses the unconventional family structure he has with Cosette, saying that despite his love for her he was only a "passerby" and was not actually her real father, because they were not biologically related.

There's a moment where Jean Valjean is described as someone whose ideal is to be angel on the inside and a bourgeois on the outside. Jean Valjean's worship of bourgeois social norms, norms he can never truly be a part of, is one of his character flaws. He has a similar "guard dog" energy as Eponine does when she defends Rue Plumet from her parents.....Eponine and Jean Valjean both become the guard dogs of a kind of romantic relationship they believe they are banned from having. Jean Valjean believes that getting Happily Straight Married in a Middle-Class Home with a Picket Fence(tm) is the ideal path for life....but believes himself broken/incapable of ever following that path. And so he instead throws his entire life into securing that future for Marius and Cosette.

In what manner was Jean Valjean to behave in relation to the happiness of Cosette and Marius? It was he who had willed that happiness, it was he who had brought it about; he had, himself, buried it in his entrails, and at that moment, when he reflected on it, he was able to enjoy the sort of satisfaction which an armorer would experience on recognizing his factory mark on a knife, on withdrawing it, all smoking, from his own breast. Cosette had Marius, Marius possessed Cosette. They had everything, even riches. And this was his doing.

TL: DR:

Jean Valjean's gender/sexuality label is “idk but he’s super fucked up about it.”

[felixsbakingbud]

THIS. MY GOD, there’s so many other songs from SKZ that we could actively be supporting over this stupid collab. Any one of Seungmin’s OSTs, the recent Japanese OST they JUST did, hell I think they just announced another Japanese OST. SKZ literally has a discography of over 200 songs, any of which you can stream. To emphasize this one single song??? Mind boggling

if you had read the story of hind raghab, if you had seen the picture of the child hanging from a pole, its lower body shredded, if you had seen the boy carrying pieces of his brother in a body bag, if you had known the soul of my soul, the story of refaat, and the countless war crimes israel has committed just in 7 months then you wouldn’t stream the song skz is putting out with charlie puth, a zionist and overall bad human, and that israeli producer. you would send a clear message that zionism isnt welcome in any capacity in any medium and you wouldn’t want to fund people who support its hateful ideology. this isnt a matter of being a skz anti and im so fucking tired of people painting it as such. where do you draw the line for your morals?

[blackknight-kai]

Please sir! May we have some jealous/possessive DO and Wukong?🥺🥣

A smattering of NSFW would be ok too!!

(New in the fandom so still learning the ropes and many names but your writing and ideas are so great! Really sucking me in deeper!!) ❤️🐵

Oh so you wanna see what he’d be like jealous/possessive huh? All right.

(Sorry if this one is a little meh, I’m very tired from work 😭 and I’m brain dead. it’s hard to make a jealousy one without getting TOOOOO toxic, not that I couldn’t do that but I wasn’t sure if that was wanted)

Below at the end will be a n.s.f.w for both monkeys and a slight yandere section. Be warned!

Destined One

This would be something that sneaks up on him. He is 100% not expecting to end up jealous or as possessive as he is. Honestly he grew up around a many mouths to feed and in such a social setting one gets used to sharing most things besides some personal effects. While he himself wasn’t always the most touchy feely of the monkeys on Flower Fruit Mountain and has never been jealous of the shared affection between the other monkeys.

Meeting you was something that changed everything for him. At first he considered you just the same as everyone else, another person in his life to share food with or occasionally a space to sleep at night on your mutual journey. Over time though something within him shifted. You’d grown to be someone important to him. Someone he could trust, care for, and be cared about in return. Your companionship was something he cherished and it went deeper than any relationship hed ever had, as he always kept to himself.

Over time you two shared casual touches or sometimes slept close together at night when it’s cold. He’d grown used to you always being near, his tail brushing against you or curling around your ankle or arm. Food is shared between you and sometimes a piece of clothing, like the time you’d gotten soaked and he let you borrow his robe top.

He hadn’t noticed, not right away at least, but his feelings began to take an interesting turn the more time he spent with you.

Before Getting together:

- [ ] He’s used to it always being just the two of you. So when someone joins your journey, be it a short time or an extended time, it throws him off for some reason.

- [ ] He gets irritated very quickly, which is shown through a particular frown on his face and his tail flicking. Jaw clenching and unclenching. He sighs or huffs more often and his shoulders are always tense as he watches you interact with the other companion(s). Mainly it’s you smiling or laughing with them

- [ ] He doesnt know WHY he feels that way or where it’s coming from. When you’re off bathing or doing something ALONE he doesnt feel like this. When your other companions are talking to someone else he doesnt feel irritated.

- [ ] Regularly sits close when he’s feeling like this, his back may be turned or he might be up in a tree, but he’s always listening. Can’t help it. His tail will be flicking or curling at the end in a motion of annoyance.

- [ ] He also feels a pit in his stomach whenever he gets like this and he often wonders if he’s sick or ate something bad.

- [ ] He has also gotten used to the casual touches you give him, leans into them, where as he may have just put up with it or moved away from it when he was home with the other monkeys. Seeing someone casually touch you or you them makes him clench his jaw and he has the urge to barrel his way between you and them.

- [ ] He might do just that actually, or he will do something impulsively to catch your attention.

- [ ] He also may just start pranking you a little more or ‘pulling your pigtails’ that kind of thing.

- [ ] He also might just go fight something. Anything to get whatever pent up irritation he has out of his system.

- [ ] Often finds his eyes on you, especially if there are others around and you’re interacting with them. Always vigilant of anything amiss going on (or so he tells himself)

- [ ] Won’t be as nice to companions if they push his buttons about you or catch on to whatever is happening. He’d be huffy with them or ignore them. When you aren’t looking might rudely prank them if they do this.

- [ ] It takes some time, but he finally starts to realize what’s happening and is VERY annoyed by it. He remembers when he’d seen others his age first start pairing off and finding mates, how they behaved. He hadn’t understood at the time, being too focused on his goals, but now….now hes understanding all the heightened hormones and the jealousy.

- [ ] Probably avoids you a bit….but he’s not really able to. Not when you travel together and spend almost all hours together.

- [ ] Bare with him, hes going to be a bit grumpy during this stage and probably make you feel a little like he doesn’t want to be around you but that isnt the case.

- [ ] Might brush your casual touches off or keep his distance. But he’s going to glower and huff when you interact with others.

- [ ] He is not used to the jealous emotions nor the OTHER feelings hes starting to realize he’s had. It’s not JUST jealousy due to having you to himself most of the time, he LIKES you.

- [ ] It’s scary for him, new.

- [ ] After a while he will come to terms with things. Probably sat for several hours meditating somewhere after he’d made you upset for his standoffish behavior.

- [ ] His jealousy from here on is more manageable, most of the time…..He also doesnt avoid you anymore unless he’s particularly angry about some interaction you had with someone.

- [ ] Hyper focuses on every interaction you have with him.

- [ ] Still hovers a bit when others are around you guys. Keeps his tail anchored to you and will brush it off as he didn’t know he was doing it.

After getting together:

- [ ] When you’d discovered he was jealous of your attention on others you find it amusing and endearing. He had rolled his eyes at your teasing and you both kind of just assumed it would dissipate over time, especially now that you were together.

- [ ] It does not.

- [ ] It settles a little, mainly because he can have you close or have his tail wrapped around some part of you as much as he wants now.

- [ ] And he trusts you. Knows you like/want HIM. Which boosts his ego.

- [ ] But…..he’s grown a bit possessive.

- [ ] Not in a bad way, he’s not gonna keep you trapped or prevent you from having friends etc.

- [ ] But if you smell like someone else(from a hug)? He’s gonna make sure to rub himself on you and reaffirm HIS scent is on you.

- [ ] No one else better touch you with their tail - that’s HIS privilege.

- [ ] He might walk by you and rub his tail on you to show you’re his as you talk to someone or just in general.

- [ ] Holds you tightly to him when you sleep/cuddle.

- [ ] If a hug from someone else (that he perceives may want more from you) he will pry their arms off you and move you away.

- [ ] Just to be close to you would stand behind you and hug you/hold you while you interact with someone.

Wukong:

Wukong knows fairly early on what’s happening to him in regards to you. It annoys the ever living shit out of him though at first. He’s been around long enough and has seen his fair share of lovers and jealousy in others over the years. Believe it or not he’s quite possessive/protective of what is his. He’s a king so in a way he has to be. He generally takes what he wants, be it food or things he finds interesting. Wukong isn’t toxic about it but he’s egotistical and arrogant mixed with chaotic mischievous energy so…he just always does what Wukong wants to do.

He’s grown up around his kind and they share so much. Be it grooming, food, items, protection and time. But as a king he’s grown to be a little selfish in his wants. He’s kind too. Funny. Playful. All the things we perceive him as.

One thing he’s never been though, is jealous romantically.

You’re someone that he doesn’t want to upset. So that means he can’t just treat you like a possession. He respects you. Cares for you. It’s a pain in his furry ass but a pain he wouldn’t get rid of. Why is it a pain? Because he kinda has to behave sometimes….cant have you disliking him. And his jealousy over you can be so…overwhelming. Makes him feel like a monkey cub.

Before Getting Together:

- [ ] Dramatic ass. That’s him.

- [ ] Expect to not know what crawled up his ass and died because he won’t tell you.

- [ ] Instead he’s just going to pout around being obnoxious. He’s gonna be grumpy sometimes and probably rude to others and you won’t know why. But his chest burns with irritation at the thought of someone else close to you.

- [ ] He’s old in age not in spirit okay?

- [ ] He will insert himself into most situations….private convos? Never heard of ‘em.

- [ ] He will lean on you or be in your space specifically when around others.

- [ ] His tail is always somewhere close to you if not anchored to you usually visibly just to make a point.

- [ ] The guy is the epitome ‘has crush on someone and proceeds to annoy them forever until they like him’. Especially when you’re not focused on him.

- [ ] If you manage to get him to unglue himself from your side while you spend time with someone else, he’s going to be only a few feet away being annoying, huffing and making noise. Or groaning that he’s bored. His tail is going bang on whatever is next to him or be flicking and swishing with irritation.

- [ ] Will try to turn conversations you have with others or derail them and wants to boast about himself. Or just get you to focus on him.

- [ ] Will definitely do stupid shit to make you look at him.

- [ ] He is going to use tricks to bother others who look at you twice (friendly or not). Won’t hurt them unless he has to because it may upset you. (Unless you don’t find out about it)

- [ ] Definitely tries to intimidate people when you’re not looking.

- [ ] If he isn’t near you a clone probably is somewhere close by watching - especially if you’re alone with someone he thinks might be into you/a threat to his position with you. Won’t do this if you’re bathing or have asked him to fuck off he remains respectful of that.

- [ ] If he’s particularly frustrated he will go cause some damage somewhere…

- [ ] Glowers at people when you are extra kind to them or smile at them a little too long.

After Getting together:

- [ ] He’s gonna settle down a bit mainly because he can just literally pull you to him and you won’t be upset about it.

- [ ] Secure in your relationship. Hes a king, he’s HIM, why would you have to look anywhere else? Exactly. You wouldn’t.

- [ ] Acts relatively the same though, pouts and gets huffy/his tail is whipping if you give someone else too much attention.

- [ ] Will insert his head onto your lap or be in your space while you talk to people, will calm if you pet him or scratch him.

- [ ] Does NOT like others making you do that one little laugh you do. Nuh uh, only he can do that.

- [ ] Tail is around you at all times if he’s next to you, visible to others as a show of claim, that you belong to each other.

- [ ] If someone even dares flirt with you? Yeah….they better get good at hide and seek.

- [ ] Would get you things and rub his scent on them and have you wear them.

- [ ] Definitely rubs his body on yours, wants to wear your scent too and wants you to smell like him.

- [ ] If you don’t and smell like someone else and it’s not someone he knows / trusts he’s gonna be big old ball of pissy and you’ll have to let him smother you for a bit with grumpy cuddles. (If it won’t make you mad he’d go find out who it was and fuck with them - scare them or play tricks on them)

- [ ] Will always know where you are for safe keeping, you can do you but he will have someone if not himself keeping an eye out for danger.

- [ ] Your place is next to him. Won’t stop you from making friends or anything because duh he has them too, but everyone, EVERYONE knows you’re his and he’s yours.

NSFW for Both Monkeys:

- [ ] You wear his marks under your clothes. And His scent.

- [ ] Will gently touch the marks he’s left on you with his teeth/lips or fingers, it’s your little secret.

- [ ] Likes full naked body rubbing on you for maximum scent coverage, for the both of you because he likes wearing your scent too.

- [ ] Will cum in/on you and rub it into your skin during sex.

- [ ] Will have you often/as often as he can.

- [ ] If he’s pushed too far he will carry you off (far out of sight and hearing range) to somewhere where he can reaffirm your relationship. Be it renewing a kiss mark or possessively touching you.

- [ ] ^ This includes making you orgasm multiple times to reaffirm that HE is the one that makes you feel this good.

- [ ] Would hump you, you both fully clothed, just to put his horny pheromones on you before joining others.

- [ ] Dont get too horny around other people (we know it would be his fault) but he would get jealous of it because THAT scent is for him alone.

- [ ] His tail will cheekily caress your ass or between your legs, when no one is looking because he respects you but also you’re his.

- [ ] Will squeeze your thigh or hips or whatever he can reach if he’s feeling extra possessive or jealous about something.

- [ ] Might not wash your combined scent and your juices off of himself right away. May not let you bathe his cum and scent off right away either. But will not force you to go unbathed, he will just rub his scent on you after your clean.

Extra nsfw - Slight Yandere

- [ ] Will NOT allow others to touch you.

- [ ] His scent is NEVER off you.

- [ ] Will cum in you and you will have to deal with him being inside you all day.

- [ ] Will rub his cum on you and you will have to wear that too under your clothes.

- [ ] Will keep you on his cock as long as he sees fit to remind you of who you belong to.

- [ ] You. Are. His. Will fuck you within ear shot of others- might make you try to stay quiet and “punish” you if you’re not.

- [ ] Won’t let others see you naked though. That’s his right.

- [ ] Will keep you to himself for DAYS just to renew his claim on you.

- [ ] You might wake up to him touching you or fucking, especially if he had a dream you went to someone else.

- [ ] His marks will be visible and glaringly obvious.

[lukolabrainrot]

Welcome to My TedTalk

Hellooooo, I know I have been a little MIA lately... needed a little break after the energy shift from the rollercoaster last week. But I am still here lol and I have been marinating on quite a few things the last couple of weeks. So below are my thoughts. As always, everything here are just my thoughts and speculation from the information I have seen. Others might interpret information differently, and that is fine. Note: This will be another one of my long posts lol

Let's start with the obvious. October was a ROLLERCOASTER. It started off soooo strong, and the closest I think we have ever come to L/N publicly announcing they are in a relationship. And THEN... It was just total whiplash the rest of the month. Not a fun feeling right?? And I think a lot of people have started to feel like they can't trust L/N and have sooooo many questions on why October went the way it did. I think a lot of people are also feeling very frustrated because we have gotten so many clues/crumbs/Easter Eggs that haven't really led anywhere. All your various feelings around everything lately are valid. But L/N are allowed to do what they want (obviously) and if crumbs/Easter Eggs are all they want/can show us rn, we have to accept that. October was a rough month for me as well on this ship, which is why I took a couple breaks. We have to remember that we choose to be on this ship, we don't HAVE to be. It's totally valid if you're feeling overwhelmed/not having fun on the ship anymore, you can always take a break and come back if/when you want to. WE DO NOT KNOW L/N. NONE OF US. These are celebrities whose lives are very different than ours (which I know is obvious, but I thought it was important to note). They are human though and allowed to be imperfect, and we get to choose how much energy we give to them. And I have said this multiple times, but they do not owe us anything, and DESERVE to have a private life. We have so many questions related to them, and the fact is, we are never going to have all the answers. And you know what, that is how it should be imo. We are not owed every little detail of their life, and honestly, we got lucky we even got crumbs. THEY DID NOT HAVE TO DO THAT. They will go public WHEN they want/can.

People have talked about this before, but we got an AMAZING tour from them and sooooo much content. SOOOO MUCH. And we got addicted, and then were were cut off cold turkey, and papgate was a total grenade that threw everything into chaos. However, L/N were OBVIOUSLY hiding behind their characters during the WT (no one can convince me otherwise). And we talk about blurred lines between them and their characters, but L/N ARE NOT Polin (although there are a lot of similarities with their stories). There were definitely blurred lines between them and their characters yes, but neither of them are their characters and are a lot more complex and complicated. Lastly, I think because we got soooo much content from them, and they were obviously using their own personal relationship/feelings for each other to promote their characters and the season, L/N kind of lost control of their public narrative related to their private lives. I think that, and leaving everything open to speculation (STILL), was their biggest mistake. But like I said, everything has to be on their own time, and they do have good teams to handle this stuff.

I think we all know this already, but in case it's not obvious... DM has a personal vendetta against N, they do not like her getting positive attention, and I can't stress this enough, THEY WANT HER TO FAIL. 1000%. I think there are a lot of complexities on why this is the case, but you can make your own conclusions on why this is happening. But it IS happening. And you should never get your information directly from DM. They are a sensationalist, tabloid blog. THEY ARE NOT A RELIABLE NEWS SOURCE. THAT IS A FACT.

This fandom has turned INCREDIBLY toxic, and most of the drama is coming from WITHIN the fandom and in-fighting. We don't have concrete answers about ANYTHING related to L/N's romantic lives. Shipping should be fun and low stakes, because ultimately, who they are dating doesn't REALLY matter. That is their personal life, and they are not defined by who they are dating. But like I just mentioned, I think L/N leaving the wolves to mass speculation was one of their biggest mistakes, and has now led the fandom to where it is and this mass speculation and interest in their dating lives, which is feeding the tabloid frenzy and rumors.

Alright, now that I got that out of the way, on to my thoughts on everything the last couple of months:

Firstly, I HIGHLY recommend, if you haven't already, reading through this entire post by @fiamat12. It is incredibly enlightening and well laid out! Couple things I want to add/note:

The paparazzi are a money hungry machine, constantly looking for opportunities that will get them the most money. Ethics... out the window. Ethics/respect doesn't get them money. As long as there is a demand for "candid" photos/videos of celebrities' private/personal lives, and unless laws/regulations significantly change around them, this industry will continue being this way. This means though that the material they circulate is not always what meets the eye. It is just a moment in time with very little context, and in general, a total violation of privacy. However, unfortunately, it is a beast celebrities have to navigate, and sometimes they play games with them to protect their privacy.

L has not been seen in real time (via paps or people in public) since Sorrento. THREE MONTHS. And although we joke that L has just been holed up in their house (yeah I said it), L has definitely been out in public living his life. And y'all, people WANT to see him. I know he doesn't stand out as much as N and can blend into the crowd more, but there is NO WAY no one has seen him in three months. There is some strategy in place here where he has been able to keep a VERY low profile, and I think some of these side characters are part of that strategy. And no one can convince me that his low profile has NOTHING to do with the fact that him and N are together.

2. Alright, side characters... let's first get to the A of it because it's pretty obvious to me. I'm going to keep this short. She plays games. This isn't new. There are VERY likely NDAs in place. This isn't new information either. And she LOVES attention by stirring the pot. Therefore, any time we give her any engagement, we are feeding the beast.

3. Onto JD... this post basically summarizes my thoughts. NOTHING about JD has been private. There isn't anything to protect there from the masses. IF JD (and I'm not saying he is) was her serious partner, there wouldn't be so many public games with the two of them. There are a lot of games, and if this was a serious relationship she wanted to protect, she wouldn't be throwing him and her to the wolves. She just wouldn't. But L... she doesn't mess around about him. Although L/N have given us crumbs, they have obviously not been totally honest about their private relationship with each other (which is totally valid), because there is a lot there they want to protect from the wolves.

4. So if you have made it this far, you can see there is a LOT going on, and it's complex. And although L/N have maybe not been totally honest about everything, they don't have to be and there are reasons. And that doesn't therefore mean they have been totally disingenuous about each other and aren't to be trusted. I personally don't think they have. However, they want to protect their privacy. Even though October was a rollercoaster, in no way do I believe L and N are hot and heavy with A or JD. There is just too much evidence to the contrary that L/N are in a serious relationship BTS, and likely have been for a while. Here are some of the reasons I have come to this conclusion:

THE RINGS (everything about them)

The photo of L in her house while she was getting ready with a ring on his ring finger (we can argue all we want, those are his hands and that pic was VERY intentional)

N's TIME article

The October 3rd and BRB story from L (HE HASN'T DONE ANYTHING LIKE THIS ON HIS PUBLIC ACCOUNT IN A LONGG TIME)

The coordinated travel posts from L/N when they were going to NY

Chaos week from N in early August (that was about L, no one can convince me otherwise)

BLESS THE TELEPHONE (That was how I knew they were together and had been for a while likely... can't exactly explain it)

TalkTalk, Juna

The recent Polin pic they BOTH shared to their stories (they were both really emotional looking (N was absolutely beaming and looked like she had tears in her eyes) and the pic was VERY interestingly cropped 🤔)

All the "boyfriend" pics of L on N's IG page (I did a whole post about this that you can find if you scroll through my page)

The Polaroid(s)

THE WHOLE WT (which is why a lot of us are still here despite all the noise and emotional whiplash)

And trust me, both L and N know what people are saying and how people are interpreting the information they are putting out to the public. THEY KNOW. So if there was NOTHING going on between them, that would have been corrected atp and they wouldn't have fed the flames. But it hasn't and they have... They'll go public when they are ready/can. Until then, we just have to sit back, relax, and wait and see how everything unfolds.

And THAT is where I am with everything atp. Of course, we're all going to interpret the same information we are seeing a little differently, which is fine. This is just my interpretation of the information.

And if you made it to the end... thank you for coming to my TedTalk 😅

[rapunzellovesbooks]

The entitlement some people feel over Luke Newton´s career is baffling to me. Like, people out here saying "Oh, he has not milked the success of Bridgerton enough, his time has passed" or "He played his cards wrong" is just... wrong. Like, I get it, compared to Nicola, in the past few months, she has been much more active on social media than him, but can you actually blame him? Yall saw one picture where he was clearly uncomfortable, running away from the paparazzi and destroyed him online. Then he went on a vacation after months of press (and God knows which auditions, jobs or fittings on the side) and made it seem like he was committing a crime. Then he posts about a trip to Spain and some of you go call the hotel to check who he was with. If I were him, I would not post anything online ever again, because there is no winning, is there? He commented on one of Nicola´s post and she had to delete the awful comments people left. All because of what? A picture taken out of context with a girl who is not Nicola. News flash, people are allowed to have other people in their lives, romantically or otherwise. And to the people thinking that he did it to disentangle himself from Nicola, what drugs are you on? Like, he was holding so tight to her the night before, so excited for the premiere of Part 2, always praising her and looking at her with love in his eyes, even when no cameras were on them. I bet if people had not haunted him on social media he would have posted bts, or shared funny edits but the toxic fandom made it impossible for him to do so in real time. Because, apparently, to some people, if he had posted about Nicola while not being officially together with her, that is leading them astray. Umm, what?

And then you have the idea that he is not working. Nicola literally signed off to do Magic Faraway Tree before Part Two and has a small role in it, and the rest of her work has been in fashion. He went to fashion shows as well. Both of them are signed to Season 4 of Bridgerton and from what we have heard, they have quite a big part in it. If it took them 8 months to do their season, I can, at least, see them being there for maybe 4 or 5 months of shooting. That is work. Going to rehearsals and fittings is work. They literally get paid for that. It is astounding to me that Nicola has no future projects lined up yet, same as him, but everyone is on his ass for the same thing he has been doing for years, work in private. Now, I am a shipper, I do believe they will be together eventually, but I genuinely do not understand how that has anything to do with people trashing him for his upcoming projects. He may not have found the project he wants to do or is waiting to share info. Also, I bet you Nic or him would have shared a picture of going back to set already if some fans weren´t analysing pixels on screens.

I do feel like there is a double standard here, because if Nicola had done the same, gone on vacation or been photographed with a random guy, everyone would have been like "Good for her, etc.". She gets on the Top 100 List for, honestly, being more present online with the work she does, but there are so many people who do great work who are not and will never be on that list. If Luke had gotten on it, some people would be so mad at him, I just know it.

I just miss them together and I have to blame the toxic fans for not seeing them together anymore. I do not doubt they have been in contact since, I mean, this whole ordeal happened because we are so obsessed with their connection, they must have talked about that infamous day, but also, I think some fans are creating stories of them not talking or growing apart that are just hurtful. Even before the world tour, they did not see each other every day, they do not have to speak every day for them to have a great bond. They simply cannot share it online anymore or, at least he can´t, because people over dissect every thing, even if it is just a smiley. Taylor Swift was framed with the whole Kanye thing years ago and she disappeared for a year. She was still doing stuff and seeing friends but we just never knew about it. And I get it.

It hurts me so much to see a genuinely nice and kind guy who did an amazing job as Colin get so many negative comments over nothing. Every time Nic does something, people throw it directly in his face. Oh, he was not at the Emmys. Oh, he was not at a fashion show. Maybe he does not want to be?! Maybe he couldn´t? Does Zendaya have to be everywhere with Tom Holland? Like, what?!

#lukola #nicluke #lukenewton #nicolacoughlan