#this ep seriously messed me up

[osinthewhite]

David Shore and David Foster deserve everything good on God's green earth and a promise of eternal paradise for writing the episode "Wilson".

The dialogue? Phenomenal, I mean "Because if you die, I'm alone"? Tears are rolling down my face as I write that.

The plot? DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED - it's just so Wilson and I love how for once we can see the world through his eyes.

And the cherry on top is really the portrayal of House's and Wilson's relationship. Not only do they have really deep talks this episode but House really shows his caring side, staying by Wilson's side almost the entire time. And when they move into the new loft at the end and that's the first time Wilson openly acknowledges House as his roommate and sits at the counter like a teenager and smiles at House while buying the loft eshbfhsbjfbsjkfnkjdsbfjksbfjbesjfvjdsbfkjbs I'm melting.

I need a way to thank those writers myself for creating this istg

[vaugarde]

terribly sorry for progressively getting more and more annoyed and tired with jn. this show kinda gets a lot more exhausting on a rewatch when you know its not going to get better

[nerdynikki94]

Honestly? Did I want more from DTAMHD? Yes, I did. I wanted something signifying actual progression for Dennis' character (even just a crumb of genuine growth) , and I sincerely don't think we got that. However... we did get a fascinating insight into the process of his mind. Dennis' level of self-denial is so ironic and profound. He can't acknowledge the inevitability that he's middle-aged.

(I swear this episode honestly has given me an alt hc, that the show is based in his mind; because logistically, a man of his lifestyle and malnourishment could not commit the feats he is constantly sailing through. TGGB & DTAMHD... back-to-back? What happened to his hand? Did he even sprain it? Or is he just the most dramatic brat in the gang - clearly the latter.)

It is important to note that he didn’t fix the actual problem. He momentarily masked the symptoms, but ignore long-term help with blood pressure medicine is not going to fix the issue, nor is it going to protect him from fucking keeling over in a stressful situation (when he's not in a contained and quiet Doctor's exam room) and his blood pressure spikes.

I'm honestly a little jaded at this point (16 Fucking Seasons of crumbs, y'all), but if one were to continue 'trusting the structure' this episode conveyed a lot.

The B Plot: The pressure cooker. The metaphor parallels the building pressure Dennis quick-tempered bouts of rage. So, to toss out a little 'cat-in-the-wall' conjecture here: The pressure cooker is Dennis, but we all saw him eat that bloody diamond in the end and we all heard Mac's speech about coal turning into diamonds under massive pressure. Dennis' experience is a theory of pressure, he daydreams it all in the span of a minute or so. He's roleplaying with hypothetical obstacles. There's no risk. Maybe Dennis, isn't the pressure cooker, but the coal.

If I were to try and take anything hopeful out of this episode, it would be the way the narrative is showing us that this episode acknowledged that Dennis isn't ready yet. It's not his turn to break. It's going to take real, substantial pressure to get that diamond.

It was a hell of a misdirect (and honestly a little bit of a slap in the face), but if these characters live in the real world, where people are bound by the laws of mortality, then Dennis should have his time.

Genuinely, who fucking knows?

I'm not hating on the episode. We all know this is the trashy dick joke sitcom. I just thought that if Mac & Charlie could have moments of genuine heartbreak, culminating in deep catharsis, that maybe Dennis could have that too.... but no.

Can't wait to see the sunny dudebros miss the point & proclaim Dennis Reynolds - SA victim, traumatized individual with an emotionally tumultuous personality disorder - the new Andrew Tate.

I'm sorry, but yeah. I'm a little miffed. It was all a dream, and everything goes Dennis' way. Y'all I'm fucking tired. This was a great episode for Glenn, but a fucking frustrating episode for Dennis. I may have wanted a little macden, but all I cared about was seeing Dennis face the limitations of his mortality, to see that he's failing his body and his brain. He didn't have to actually take the medicine (I wouldn't expect him to), but Goddammit, everything seems to work out in his delusional favor. So, of course he's going to continue being delusional, and probably only change for the worse.

I'll say it: I wanted a broken Dennis, and we did not get that. He didn't even crack, the unbearble and apparently now canonical Golden God. That episode's title was intended to tease sunnyblr.

Excuse the plethora of tags. I just kept getting more irritated.

[invisiblegarters]

I feel so called out by this, lol.

I am definitely one of the people saying that Sand is being pathetic, and I stand by it. I love him and I will admit that some of this is projection because out of all these guys Sand is the one that reminds me most of my uni days. But even in my uni days I would not have put up with Ray. I said it in the first ep - I'd have left him to sleep it off in his car. And if the fuck had called me a whore? The last thing that would have happened would be me following him home and caretaking for him like some sort of unpaid nurse. Miss me with that. Especially when he didn't even bother with the half-assed apology he gave his actual friends.

My problems with Sand isn't that he cares for Ray, it's that he keeps letting him back in when he should know better. And I'm not saying that's not realistic - I've known too many people just like him in my life to believe otherwise. I just hate it so much and it makes me so frustrated.

But there is a good point to be made here about him essentially not changing. We don't really even know if him always letting Ray back in when he shouldn't isn't the norm for him, because we've only really seen him on good terms with everyone save Top, who is a special case due to his feelings about his ex (and this is part of why I am hoping the ex shows up again - part of me worries it'll just be to cause more problems between Top and Mew but the rest of me is very very curious to see how Sand treats this person. Even a flashback could give us an insight into how Sand gets with his romantic partners, and for myself I'd be more relieved than upset to learn that this kind of back and forth is something he's done before, lol. Ray's not special, Sand's just one of those people that doesn't know how to completely back out once he decides he's in).

He has made concessions for Ray - sleeping with him more than once even if they aren't together is the big one I can think of, but I'm sure there are more - but has he changed much for him? Fundamentally, I mean. I don't know. He certainly hasn't stopped telling Ray when he's fucked up, even though Ray clearly doesn't like it.

And to be fair, each time Ray screws him over Sand takes just a little bit longer to really let him back in, and I do wonder if Ray hadn't decided to be supremely stupid and drink and drive if Sand would have let him back in this time. Guess we'll never know, but it did seem to me that he was knowingly burning that particular bridge when he called Ray to play pool in ep 5 and drop a bomb in his lap. Even without the fact that it gave Ray the opening he's been looking for with Mew for years.

All that said, I've been looking at way too many gifs of the Sand parts of next ep, and whether or not he calls the cops on Ray next episode (or far more likely to my mind, calls Ray's dad who then calls the cops. Or my favorite - has nothing to do with the cops but agrees to start taking money in exchange for trying to get Ray on a better path (look the whore thing OFFENDED me if Ray's gonna be like that then I think Sand should go ahead and do the thing)), the look on his face here

reminds me very strongly of the look he got before he torpedoed Top and Mew's relationship. And I'm not sure morality comes into it. Sure, it was better for Mew to know sooner than later, but Sand even said he did it purely to get back at Top. He didn't consider the consequences and he got bitten in the ass for it in several ways.

But did he really learn his lesson? I guess we'll see.

Loved these tags from @fromthedepthsandbeyond on this ask so wanted to use them as a jumping off point for a discussion about Sand in Ep7. (I hope you don't mind.)

Sand as a 'pathetic' character

I've seen quite a few folks on Twitter up in arms about how pathetic the narrative is painting Sand to be which, in my mind, is all relative. Because if we're comparing him to Nick, then Sand seems to have quite a bit of self-respect. But all these comments got me thinking how Sand does have self respect in so many aspects of his life; aside from Ray, he would seem to have everything put together. And Ray is the one thing he can't reconcile with his lifestyle, the one thing that doesn't fit. Up 'til now, he's allowed that.

Also got me thinking about this discussion I had with @waitmyturtles last episode regarding the woobification of certain characters. Looking back, I wonder if having Sand finally act out in Ep6 was all leading up to this moment, as Sand's revenge on Top quite literally is a major catalyst in bringing Ray and Mew together. After getting revenge on someone he thinks deserves to be punished, Sand is also being punished too. In some way, I wonder if that is a commentary on the cyclical nature of vengeance--how no matter how justified you are in your payback, you will pay for it too.

Regrets

What is Sand's personal plot? Clearly it's all tied up in Ray. But what do Sand's ties to Ray say about him? It says he's a natural caretaker, likely due to his upbringing, but it also says that caretaking plays a major role in his self-concept. What Sand is learning is that he does not demand exclusivity in his caretaking role--though he might want that, he hasn't demanded it from Ray, because he doesn't think he has a right to do that. Sand has a very acute awareness of morals and what is within his own bounds to demand. In this case, I think it goes back to what First said about Sand handling his emotions on his own; Sand wants Ray to care for him only, but he knows that's not a requirement of their relationship. Ray, on the other hand, demands Sand's sole attention, even though he doesn't deserve it. Despite Sand being burned near-constantly by Ray, he is the one who still feels like he can't demand things of Ray because of the pre-set terms of their relationship.

It also makes me curious...for all the pain it has caused him, how much does Sand regret getting his revenge on Top? Was it worth it? Because if he truly loves Ray, then we would assume that he does harbor regrets. (Which brings me to another question: Does Sand truly love Ray? What stage of infatuation is Sand at right now?) Looking morally, Sand likely thinks he was doing the right thing for exposing Top as a cheater, regardless of the consequences. But knowing if he has regrets about this could be a major clue in to just how down bad he is for Ray.

One of the reasons I'm loving this show so much (despite that crapshoot of a part 4/4 in Ep7, ugh) is because it's putting characters like Sand, who aren't even center stage, in an uncomfortable position. Sand has to confront his own values by pitting his morals and his feelings against each other. Going back to Ep3, is Ray 'just an exception'? Or has this kind of value-bending happened to Sand before?

And, in going back to the tags, is Sand going to change because of Ray? Personally, I think the Joker/Harley Quinn dynamic between Ray and Mew suggests that they will be making major changes for each other, which could stand in direct contrast to Sand. Ray is satisfied that he has finally gotten Mew to adapt to his lifestyle and be with him the way he wants, so why won't Sand give in too? Why won't Sand remain the person Ray wants him to be (as in: someone who drops everything the moment he calls)? Why can't Ray be in control of the people in his life the way he can't be in control of himself?

[ratatoastwrites]

Playing house

Spencer Reid x gn!reader

[this was specifically written with s2 bratty(suffering from withdrawal)!Spencer in mind 🧚‍♀️]

Synopsis: “has a PhD in engineering and thinks that Ikea manuals are for stupid people” boyfriend vs “isn’t really a good handyman but is determined to follow the rules” s/o get into a bit of an argument 🫢

a/n: it’s me woo! did y’all miss me? 🌝 ofc u did!! 🥰 jkjk but umm i was inspired to write this bcuz i actually got a new chair from ikea a few days ago and i almost ripped out all my hair by the time i managed to put it together ✨ i was listening to the Like a Prayer EP from deadpool & wolverine for the whole two (2) hours it took me to put it together as well lmao 🪑 also, the pic on the left of the moodboard is my own ikea manual on the exact page i messed up!! fun 🧚‍♀️ also, did u guys like that i included a synopsis this time? i hope u did ;)

cw: light angst, arguing about something that shouldn’t really be a cause of an argument, reader has one (1) violent thought but doesn’t actually mean it and also doesn’t act on it ofc, allusion to Spencer’s addiction/withdrawal, some kinda unhealthy thoughts, Spencer is a bit 🤏 of an asshole in the beginning, mostly fluffy ending, also kinda rushed ending which is my bad :( sorry

“This is stupid. And you’re doing it wrong.”

You scoffed in exasperation at your boyfriend’s complaints, but otherwise kept your focus on the task at hand.

You’ve been trying to assemble your new desk chair for the past half hour, while Spencer loomed over your hunched figure, like an unhelpful little devil on your shoulder.

“Well, why don’t you do it then?”

You mumbled under your breath, not necessarily wanting him to hear. He did anyway.

“Well, I would. If you weren’t so insistent on using the manual.”

You could quite literally hear the eye roll in his tone, and while you usually didn’t mind his bratty attitude, right now it wasn’t helping your already frustrated mood.

“Oh, right. Silly me, using the manual that tells me how to assemble this piece of- furniture.”

You had to try your hardest not to start cursing, not wanting to let this swedish nightmare of a chair get the better of you. Spencer sighed behind you, and you were secretly hoping that it was a sigh of resignation.

“I have a PhD in engineering, do you really think that I don’t know how to assemble a chair from Ikea?”

Your hopes were proven to be futile, just like every other time you found yourself not seeing eye to eye with your boyfriend. You took a deep breath, not wanting to turn this petty argument into an actual fight.

“I don’t know, Spencer. And I’m not interested in finding out. I just don’t understand what you’re trying to prove by refusing the very idea of using the manual.”

Your tone became a little sharper by the end, although it wasn’t actually aimed at him. As you read over the manual again, you realised that you messed up the last step, cursing quietly under your breath as you had to undo the last eight screws in the armrests.

“Good thing you were using the manual.”

You were seriously contemplating throwing the screwdriver at your boyfriend’s smartass head after his smug comment. However, you just slowly put it down instead, before standing up from your place on the carpet, ignoring the crackling in your knees as you turned around to face him.

“Spencer, I love you more than words could describe, but you’re seriously getting on my last nerve right now. I’m going to make myself a cup of tea, do not follow me please.”

You told him with eerie calmness, before walking out of the living room and towards the kitchen.

You tried to ignore the guilt gnawing at your stomach at how annoyed you’d gotten over something so trivial. You knew that he was going through a rough patch in his life, and you couldn’t blame him for being more annoying than usual. But you couldn’t always have the patience of a saint, and you were already quite worked up about that stupid chair.

‘I just need a few moments of peace. Then I’ll go back and pretend like everything is okay. As per usual.’

You tried telling yourself, blocking out the voices saying how unhealthy that sounded.

You went through the steps of making your tea, doing your best to silence the myriad of emotions swirling in your chest. By the time you finished your hot beverage and put your cup in the sink, all your previous frustrations were gone, replaced by only tiredness. The weight of the day weighed on your shoulders as you dragged yourself back to the living room, although the slight aching in your muscles quickly faded to the back of your mind when you took in the sight waiting for you in there.

“Wh- Spence?”

You were dumbfounded as you looked at your boyfriend, who was standing next to your -now assembled!- chair with a sheepish smile.

“I, uh, put it together for you. All according to the manual, of course.”

His tone was almost shy, and he gave you the sweetest puppy dog eyes imaginable, which never failed to make your heart skip a beat.

“But I thought the manual was stupid.”

You stepped closer to him, still feeling a little confused, but your gaze softened in fondness as you looked at him. He shuffled on his feet a little, glancing between you and the chair awkwardly.

“It is. But it doesn’t matter. According to the studies, most healthy relationships are based on compromises. I guess I just realised that I haven’t been the best boyfriend lately.”

You frowned at his words, stepping even closer to him, until you were almost toe to toe. You didn’t like it when he talked about himself like that, and he quickly understood your expression.

“You know it’s true. You’ve been nothing but patient and accepting since I… And I can’t even swallow my pride for an hour to help you put together a piece of furniture.”

He continued before you could argue, and your heart broke as he trailed off mid-sentence. You knew that it was hard for him to acknowledge what he was going through, and you really wanted to tell him that it was okay, that he didn’t do anything wrong. But you knew that those empty words of comfort wouldn’t do your relationship any good.

“Yeah, I guess that’s true. But Spence, I don’t want you to think that me being there for you is a chore, or a sacrifice. I’m being patient and accepting, because I love you.“

You told him, reaching your hands out to hold his, interlocking your fingers as you smiled at him softly.

“I can’t even imagine what you’re going through. And you being a little annoying about a stupid chair doesn’t make you a bad boyfriend. Not to mention that you ended up putting it together for me.”

You nodded your head towards the aforementioned furniture next to you, squeezing his hand a bit tighter as you smiled at him fondly.

“I don’t deserve you.”

He said softly, tilting his forehead against yours.

“Negative. You deserve only good things in your life.”

You told him, before capturing his lips in a gentle kiss.

The two of you didn’t always agree, and you could both be incredibly stubborn. But at the end of the day there was nothing you wouldn’t do for your beautiful, intelligent, sweetheart of a boyfriend, no matter how much he tested your patience. And you knew that he felt the exact same way about you.

🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️

Bonus badly edited pic of Spencer in my new chair ✨

[basilbots]

That's it? That's the conclusion for these characters? That was just retroactively making multiple arcs feel pointless.

So they killed Nexus. Not really a surprise, but not any less disappointing. We have Nexus' entire story now, and it is extremely unsatisfying, New Moon having so much promise and an interesting direction for his character only for that same character to be quickly assassinated for the sake of Old Moon returning. Full rant undercut. Primarily making this just to vent out a lot (but not all because there's too much to talk about) of my feelings regarding Nexus.

Let's start with just New Moon, I'm going to admit I did not like the concept of him first. But not actually because I disliked NM as a character, but because Old Moon's death bothered me. It felt like OM was so bad that they didn't want to go through the effort of having him improve, so he was killed off instead so he didn't have to do any of that, escaping responsibility. We'll get back to that point later. However NM itself was fun, and I especially enjoyed seeing all the struggles that came from OM's existence how it influenced his relationship with Sun how NM tried so hard to not be like him while also having to fill that role.

And then Solar died, and New Moon spiraled in his grief. He was devastated, he felt like he had to fix it, nightmares and hallucinations prevented him from moving on, and he understandably lashed out at the others when they tried to stop him for a reason that boiled down to "but killing is bad though". Let it be clear that yes yelling at his family was bad and hurt them, but painful arguments in family esp when fueled by grief like this is a normal thing, and tbh nothing NM said was worse than things OM had done not out of grief but just out of anger. Which makes the fact this was treated as a huge deal that meant NM was being cut out of the family for worrying, and later on EXTREMELY worrying when they pushed the idea of KILLING him. What the fuck. For what, because he was Planning on doing something morally grey that Unintentionally could have greater spanning consequences? You can't just stop him normally we have multiple characters pushing for murder when we just established that murder is bad? This whole execution of NM being terrible and so big a threat that killing him was on the table is so forced and rushed, I hoped it was just a fumble of an execution to get to Nexus who would have a better arc, but now I can't help but feel that they were just trying to get rid of NM regardless of if it made sense. Because at this point he hadn't really done anything to warrant this, not up until the last moment when he didn't care about Earth being in the line of fire, which we immediately see him regretting in the next ep until Dark Sun comes along and any regret has "mysteriously" vanished.

Dark Sun is a great example of Nexus' development being littered with hints that things are not as they seem and that Nexus' downward spiral is being influenced by something,,, which never gets seriously addressed as to why Nexus happened. From the start NM's descent is called sudden and extreme, we see Dark Sun obviously manipulate the situation to make this all happen, we see Nexus' head literally being messed with by Dark Sun, Nexus starts messing with a power known to be corrupting, etc. Is any of this ever treated as a potential reason or Nexus' behavior? Nope! He's just evil sorry. We shot down the idea of a virus or Rex infecting him while pointedly ignoring nsp potentially affecting his mental state or Dark Sun clearly manipulating him. Let's just ignore how much this switch up doesn't make sense because we need to make Nexus feel irredeemable and that he did all this himself for Old Moon to come back.

Because oh yeah Old Moon came and even though he sucks he became the better option even before Nexus did anything because ??? it's been a long time so we have all forgotten how bad you were. Mr beats his brother regularly, literally threatened to murder Sun for not being able to control Eclipse, last moments with Sun was trapping him in a box and wrecking his mental state further. Yeah that guy has been treated as better than New Moon ever since NM yelled at Sun and Earth y'know when he had barely done shit. The point I made about how I felt like Old Moon's death was a way for him to get out of improving himself? Yeah that's validated now, because OM is successfully doing that even more egregiously than I feared originally. He literally got to swoop in as the better option not because he had actually improved himself, but because time has made us forget how bad he was and Nexus is being cartoonishly evil in comparison. I hate this. And now with Nexus dead and Old Moon for sure staying around I can't help but feel like New Moon's existence was,,, pointless. A year's worth of character development from one of our main protagonists down the drain because it was all just a buffer of NM doing the work of improving as a brother for OM. New Moon's gone and Old Moon has taken his place as totally improved Moon brother, but we've swapped out the identity struggle with NM to OM failing to not be a dick to Sun multiple times. But this has yet to be addressed because it's small potatoes and unlike with Nexus he's only doing this to Sun so who cares right? I would say New Moon's personal issues also end up never addressed, but they do actually! All of his fears regarding his place in the family came true, but he's dead so who is going to talk about that now.

I could go on about how much Nexus did not do enough to earn his death, that having Nexus' main targets being Ruin and Old Moon while he didn't hurt his family nearly as much did the opposite of make him feel irredeemable, that Moon being the main protagonist pushing for Nexus to die while everyone else had conflicted feelings did not make me cheer for Moon it made me want to see Sun punch him, but I'm going to refrain and focus on how Nexus' being dead and gone ruins arcs for me. So New Moon was pointless and just a set up to make Old Moon look better when he came back, but surely Nexus did something for Dark Sun's plans? ... Dark Sun didn't have any plan beyond making Sun kill Nexus, and left with an air of finality that even for a chronic liar makes me doubt he'll come back in the capacity I want him to? Oh. So the Nexus arc didn't have a point either, and Dark Sun feels lackluster if this was really it. Nexus was just a spare Moon for Sun to kill against his will, and since Dark Sun doesn't seem interested in using that as a way to personally manipulate Sun further into hating Moon's or anything like that Sun is just going to be sad he killed his brother… Just like he was when Old Moon originally died. If I were to be extremely pessimistic and oversimplifying things I'd say this just further proves New Moon shouldn't have been a thing at all, they should have just waited a bit for OM to be revived after he died to have this same effect with Sun mourning.

The thing that will (just barely) save New Moon/Nexus for me, the thing I wanted to wait to see the follow up for (before I realized this rant was too long already and got impatient), is how his death personally affects the characters. All of them. He needs to haunt the narrative for the rest of the story just like Old Moon was doing. Nexus was not just an antagonist, he was not just the obligatory villain of the arc that got fumbled as has happened before, he was our main character for a year, he was their brother for a year, and he should be remembered as such. The family should remember their young brother that they failed (because they do admit they made mistakes with Nexus even if it wasn't the leading cause to his fall) who will never come back, and he should not be completely forgotten in a months time just because Old Moon is here to be the good Moon brother now and Nexus died a villain. If no one cares to remember him, who he was, then what was the point of him?

[tubbytarchia]

Quick ep 3 smallidarity thoughts as well

Jesus christ

I might be delusional after that MCC practise stream, I might be. When Joel said he wanted Jimmy to survive, to make the top 10, to make the top 5. I might be delusional. But he seems so distressed about Jimmy's deaths. He scrolls up in chat to look at all the deaths again and sees Jimmy's death message and he is worried man. And then he hits yellow "Jimmy is on yellow! Stop it Jimmy!!" and then yelling again when Jimmy hits red and then when he sees him, he keeps zooming in on him "there's Jimmy! He's red!!" and then goes over to call him stupid. Which is incredibly expected of a distressed Joel lol

Initially I thought Jimmy was going after Joel so much because he was deadset on using minecarts, probably because it felt safe and like he wasn't risking much unlike with head on combat which he's probably just not confident enough to engage in without thinking he'd lose and die. But that left only Joel's and the Skizz/Mumbo/Grian base due to the height they had (Ren and Martyn had theirs blocked off). But then I watched Jimmy's POV and when he and Scar contemplate which snail to try and explode to see if it works, Jimmy suggests Joel's and then tries to very poorly justify why. So maybe Jimmy was intending to target Joel a little bit and it wasn't just accidental... God though I understand Joel's frustration because regardless, to him, it does look like Jimmy is just deadset to get him, he questions what he's even done to Jimmy to deserve this, and then again after his car gets blown up TO Jimmy and my god he is YELLING boyyy oh boyyyyy

That snail bit is seriously messing me up, idk wtf Jimmy was up to... why did he want to get at Joel specifically... Joel sounds so legitimately frustrated about the car it is hard to listen to. Not because I mind his yelling but ough t.the emotions girl. And then he closes his episode off with "Car's blown up. Jimmy's now gonna die. He's yellow. He'll be red soon thanks to me. I hate these(?).. ugh why's he blown up the car" and then a long sigh and the most exasperated farewell. He doesn't have it in him though, not until they're on even grounds at least (if Jimmy lives that long.. I have faith..) but I know he still wants Jimmy to survive, I know he still cares. But jesus

[pintrestgrl]

Hello! I have a request?

Pogue!reader gets mad at Jj during a party and starts walking home. Rafe is going on a beer run or something and sees her walking alone and makes her get in so he can drive her home. Maybe he’s also secretly in love with her??

Thank you!

- Elle 🩶

hiii !! i’m gonna mostly base this off of that one ep of euphoria with cassie and nate, bcs it def reminds me of that !!

anyways hope you enjoy and ty all for the requests !! ily ily

niceish!rafe with pogue!reader

you were pissed. embarrassed. insecure.

all of that, was due to jj.

you had reluctantly gotten back together with him after a month break, and he took you to this party on the boneyard.

everything was supposed to be okay, right? no.

he just had to flirt with some touron right infront of your face. he quite literally was buttering her up in front of your eyes, arm around her shoulder and everything.

you felt tears prick at your eyes. but you couldn’t show that in front of jj. he probably wouldn’t even bat an eyelash anyways.

so you downed your drink, storming off from the party.

you gave him so many chances, and every single time he messed up.

you swore this was the last. you couldn’t do this anymore.

as you were walking, you heard a voice. a deep one, at that. calling out your name

you looked up, seeing a truck to the side of you.

it was rafe. rafe cameron.

you knew who he was. everyone did. he was ward camerons son, and a complete asshole.

your face contorted with confusion at the sight of him, before speaking.

“rafe? what do you want?”

he looked reluctant to speak again, almost like he didn’t want to be seen talking to you.

“get in. hurry up.”

you studied his face, looking for any sign of teasing or sarcasm.

but, you found none.

you also knew, that if jj knew you were in rafe camerons car, he’d go berserk.

which only made you reluctantly nod, speaking.

“uhh— yeah. okay.”

you got in, almost falling at the lift on his truck.

it was clean inside. smelt like fresh laundry, and there was a 6-pack of beer on top of the center console.

this was the last persons car you expected to be in.

you both sat in silence, only exchanging subtle glances when you thought the other wasn’t looking.

he finally spoke.

“why’d you leave the party?”

you flinched at the reminder of why. it wasn’t like you felt good admitting what jj had done.

“um— jj. i just, got mad at him. so i left.”

he scoffed, listening to your words.

“you two are back together?”

you nodded slowly, embarrassed.

“yeah. we were, but not anymore i guess.”

he rolled his eyes, his grip on the steering wheel subtly getting a bit tighter.

he spoke.

“he’s stupid. all i ever see him doing is cheating on you. stop getting back with him.”

you frowned at his words, not knowing this wasn’t the first time jj cheated.

but there was a way rafe demanded it from you. not giving you advice, demanding it. expecting it.

you nodded, speaking.

“yeah. probably.”

he looked almost like he didn’t wanna answer, like he had something on his mind.

he spoke.

“i don’t know why he does that shit. you’re a pretty girl. prettier then the girls he’s sneaking around with.”

you felt a sort of sense of, pride? rafe cameron thought you were pretty. a kook. a rich kid.

you had to hide the slanted smile that came to your face, before speaking. quietly, at that.

“thank you.”

you were about to speak again, before you heard him continue rambling on.

“i mean, like seriously. you’re a really good girl to have. you’re better then those other shitty pogues.”

you probably should’ve gotten defensive at him talking about your friends like that, but you couldn’t find it in you to have a remark back.

you spoke.

“i am?”

he nodded, continuing on. his eyes not leaving the road.

“yeah, of course you are. you don’t even seem like a pogue. you weren’t meant for that. you’re perfect.”

your lips parted at the last sentence of his words, but he quickly corrected himself.

“to be a kook, i mean. you’re perfect to be a kook.”

you nodded slowly, trying to ignore the way the sweet words rang in your ears.

you spoke.

“yeah, um— i guess so.”

the ride went silent a bit, before you slowly came to a stop outside your house.

you didn’t give him your address. you didn’t even know where he was taking tupi at first. some part of you felt like you shouldn’t ask though.

you spoke.

“thank you. for the ride, i mean.”

he nodded, turning his eyes to look over your dress as you unbuckled your seatbelt.

you opened the door, about to hop down of the high truck, before you heard his voice.

“wait— um, okay. i need to say something.”

you nodded, giving him room to talk.

he breathed, running his hands over his face. muttering a curse or two under his breath.

“fuck— okay, um. so, i like you. like actually like you. no bullshit. you’re really pretty, and— yeah. all that shit.”

you furrowed your brows at his words, wondering how many drugs had to be in his body for him to admit something like that to you.

you spoke.

“rafe, are you fucking with me?”

he quickly shook his head, before talking.

“no, i’m like dead serious. i really, really like you.”

a sweet, small smile came to your face. bringing a blush along with it, too.

you spoke.

“i didn’t know that. since when?”

he breathed, not really looking at your eyes. more your tits, but you didn’t mind.

he spoke.

“uhh— kinda like, since forever?”

your smile grew bigger, and you have absolutely no idea what came over you.

but, you leaned forward. planting your hands on the center console to steady yourself, before pressing an open-mouthed kiss against his lips.

you moved your lips with his for a moment, him definitely reciprocating.

you pulled away, before smiling and mumbling against his lips.

“i think i really like you too.”

it was then, that your words and actions hit you like a truck. you had to get out of there.

so, you did. you pulled yourself fully away, quickly hopping out of the truck, embarrassingly speed walking to your door.

as you went to bed that night, your mind was filled with thoughts.

did he actually like you?

did he just feel bad for you?

you didn’t know.

and you didn’t know if you could work up the courage to ask.

[the-nysh]

Rewatching Trigun's 98anime (subs this time, being used to the eng dub) since I was curious to note the characters' shifting pronoun usage.

For reference, Stampede Vash always uses the softer, more humble, modest, boyish 'boku' - as expected (like Trimax Vash), even after his glow up in ep12, he still regards himself the same way. While Knives (Nai) exclusively uses the harder, more assertive, masculine 'ore'...ever since he was a little baby, which immediately differentiates them apart, but is...extremely (lmao) edgy of him.

But in the 98anime? Oh my god, it's all flipped around and completely different! Which quite interestingly reveals a lot of contextual nuances to many characters, and quite frankly rewatching in Japanese trying to catch all these things only thoroughly kicked my ass throwing in so many difficult-to-understand, unexpected curveballs; I'm both shook and humbled by what I've heard!

Because 98 Knives refers to himself as 'boku' O____O;; even during his most 'villainous' lines yelling at Vash too. Him having that casual but 'polite' poised dissonance in his voice comes off extremely unnerving;;; when he speaks of horrible things thru such an 'innocent' self-perception like that. (Even Legato uses 'boku' like him! Same in Stampede.) Damn I'm disturbed. He and Vash notably both used 'boku' when they were kids, but Knives in particular never really stopped saying that from their childhoods, so that says a lot about him. (His "did you just shoot me [boku]!?" comes off very uncannily childlike. No wonder Vash freaked out in guilt.)

But 98 Vash? Whoa, he requires a whole damn essay flips around ALL the time, interchangeably using BOTH! :O Often switching pronouns between 'ore' & 'boku' within the same episode, or even as quickly as every other sentence, even towards the same person. Depending on the immediate context/topic of what he's saying and the emphasis on how he's saying it. Via all his posturing, which 'persona' he switches into, his familiarity/humbleness/honesty/trust--even hostility towards certain people, and his mood's silly vs seriousness levels. Often reflective of how determined/confrontational/casual he is vs being walled off (masking) to openly repentant, lost or distressed too - but not always! It's Extremely inconsistent fascinating but confusing!!! Because there's no....fixed 'rules' to his usage. For ex he'll often use 'ore' casually within his own internal monologues to his more bombastic public self-introductions, or even when he's at his most serious in private moments about grave matters, like settling his past during his scar scene with Meryl. Even Eriks!Vash still uses 'ore' when confessing his guilt to Wolfwood about the Fifth Moon! So there feels to be a general preference for using 'ore' when he (internally and externally, both in casual and serious contexts) needs to show his 'determination' - aka being the man (the ideal 'Vash'?) he wants to become.

But then he'll flip around using 'boku' for some of his most exasperatingly fake ✨playful✨ bits when he's kidding and messing around in mock courtesy (bonus: he even uses 'watashi' as a joke for his ridiculously long 'formal' name introduction to Wolfwood).....AND 'boku' will be used for his most sincere humble (polite) conversations back with family members he knows at Home, and when he connects back to his childhood with Rem in his dreams. The Diablo ep is a good example: he uses 'ore' throughout the ep until he reverts to 'boku' after speaking to Rem deciding not to kill, and that humbling shift, like to that of a lost younger boy, makes so much sense. The shift happens again when Eriks!Vash thinks about Rem feeling just as lost: "what should I [boku] do?" And after the tragic incident at Home when he's depressed and masking himself behind his glasses, while quietly reflecting to Wolfwood with a reproachful, "Everyone who touches me [boku] dies." ...Before immediately changing back to 'ore' in the next sentence firming his resolve to face Knives.

But in general it really depends and you have to listen hard (pay close attention) to hear how much contextual teasing, sincerity, irony, genuine respect, or...humbling self-reproach and self-depreciation he uses. Indicative towards how much (or how poorly) he internally regards himself and how he externally presents himself to others, because it changes. All the time. His personal pronouns aren't fixed! ...Basically, I'm just as confused as Meryl (and it really makes narrative sense why she's so confused by him), not knowing which 'persona' is the real him! x'D

...Oh but a really good moment, in ep24 when Meryl pleads at him to be honest with her for once about all the tragedies, he uses 'boku' explaining everything to her about Knives. That's....really good. :O Like umm...him using 'ore' before with her (in the scar scene) kind of erected a subtle barrier when he refused to elaborate further, but using 'boku' so sincerely for her request.....like it..extends her the same humble level of courtesy/trust he'd use towards the 'family' he loves back at Home (+Rem)....but it's so loaded, cause he's being honest but still...distant telling her why he's better off alone. :')) Man...(the aaangst) Oooooh, but then ep25 is very telling too, cause he's mentally lost for the whole ep, always using 'boku' so anguished and self-deprecatingly....until Meryl saves him and he gives her his softest genuine 'boku' yet, after he recovers back to himself donning the red coat again, thanking and assuring her he'll be alright. :'D (Hooray~) Before internally switching back to 'ore' on his final quest setting out alone for Knives. Ep26: he still keeps that distinct assertive 'ore' in front of Knives "I [ore] will survive!" and 'boku' for Rem: "I [boku] will continue to believe in you, but will look to my own [jibun] words for guidance." :')) (Bonus: 'jibun' is added when he philosophically thinks in terms of 'oneself'/'myself' from now on.)

Bonus nuance: while younger Vash may have dependently followed Knives' lead around--back when they both used 'boku' together, older (current) Vash--using 'ore' with him, feels like he's grown to assume the role as the more independent, responsible older brother now, when he finally understands how to put Rem's last words to 'take care of Knives' into practice. :'))

So tl;dr: Vash tends to have a casual leaning preference for using 'ore' in most situations both private and public, but especially for whenever he asserts his determination involving Knives with a confrontational edge. 'Boku' is used exclusively (politely, with genuine deference & care) towards extended family members he loves (like Rem, Brad, Doc, and eventually.....Meryl; using the softest 'boku' towards her I've ever heard. ;.;) And for whenever he humbles himself in distress, feeling lost in turmoil or self-reproach. But it's not set in stone! Since both pronouns can be used sincerely or ironically in jest, for whenever he's feeling silly or playing a bit (donning a mask), easily switching depending on presentation or context too. 98 Vash simply does what he wants! While Meryl screams in confused exasperation!

As for 98 Meryl, she often uses the book-standard, more formal/professional 'watashi' when introducing herself (Stampede Meryl too), and her speech patterns are typically very polite and pleasant to listen to (with many lovely 'desu-wa' sentence finishers.) ...Until she changes to the informal, more feminine 'atashi.' Ex: when screaming at Milly to let her go (to Vash) as the city blew up during the Fifth Moon incident. The raw sincerity in her voice for that change is so...🥺 of her. Note, cause most other girls - from Rem, Milly, younger kids like Lina, to older (but youthful) grandma characters all informally use 'atashi.' So for Meryl to drop her usual formalities when her honest feelings come out ("I [atashi] need to go there!" - to the epicenter where Vash is) means a lot. :')) ...Ah! Cause she slips to 'atashi' again in ep25, in front of Vash (while he uses 'boku' at his most mentally lost and openly wounded state) at his bedside. o///o Oh my... Using 'atashi' again while crying to Milly in regret that she couldn't confess anything yet to Vash on his sendoff. So yes, Meryl's feminine 'atashi' side shows whenever she expresses her honest feelings. :'3

Now 98 Wolfwood is a special case, cause he speaks primarily in Kansai dialect, which is extremely hard for me to understand what he's saying in modified/shortened slang all the time. (Compared to say, Meryl who speaks very cleanly and polite.) I've heard him use 'ore' when offering kids food, the more rural/casual form 'oira' when confessing his turmoil to Milly at his most vulnerable, 'uchi' when talking about 'our orphanage,' 'washi' (the 'old man' form of watashi) when speaking in more formal/aged terms of 'God', to the slang form 'wai' (he casually prefers this one a lot, and Stampede Wolfwood uses 'wai' too, esp when introducing himself to new people, for most of the few eps he's even in, and it makes him sound like...way older than he actually is?) to even 'jibun' when talking about himself with distance in flashbacks. The impression he gives off is like that of someone who's come from a rural/street kid (orphan) background...but who speaks like a chill elder now?? who's aged far too soon for his years. That's my best interpretation of what's happening. (His slang 'wai' even slurs to sound like 'oira,' almost like 'wai-ra' sometimes; gah it's really hard for me to discern, I'm sorry.) Bonus: he teasingly calls Milly 'my honey' in english, while she playfully answers him back with the pronounced 'a-na-ta' (dear), so they def have an inside thing going on. Bottom line, he's very complicated *bangs head on desk* and his accent is too unfamiliar/beyond my meager course level to fully grasp! :'D

To sum up (to the best of my hearing comprehension):

Stampede Vash: always boku, modest and unassuming towards everyone 98 Vash: BOTH ore & boku; not fixed. Casual preference for ore vs more humble courtesy using boku, but it's extremely context/mood/persona dependent, since he can mask & switch for jokes. Has a serious confrontational/determined edge using ore vs Knives--as if Vash becomes the older brother here, but always reserves the softer boku towards Rem and the found family he loves Stampede Knives: always ore, ever since he was a baby; so much edge 98 Knives: boku, coming off unnervingly childlike vs Vash's ore Meryl (both): watashi, but changes to atashi (98) when her honest feelings towards Vash show Wolfwood (both, Kansai dialect): primarily wai, but can use many other forms Legato (both): boku Roberto: ore Milly: atashi, but can mask using watashi when she's not fine Rem: atashi (98) & watashi (Stampede) Stampede Luida: watashi, but atashi when casual with teen Vash Brad (both): ore Dr. Conrad: watashi Stampede Elendira: watashi Stampede Zazie: boku

Now besides the animes, since Trimax is a whole other overwhelming complicated beast, and since I don't have access to check (nor would I even be able to easily read/understand) the Japanese raws, I'd be VERY interested in someone's investigation and breakdown into the manga's pronouns, especially for Trimax Vash, since I've heard that beyond 'boku,' he shifts and evolves throughout his journey too, possibly ending on a very soft wizened, matured 'watashi' that I'd love to hear more!

[stuffnonsenseandotherthings]

These two excellent posts (1 by @lurkingshan and 2 by @twig-tea) got me thinking a little about what went down this episode and what looks like it's going to happen next week with the mentors.

There is, as both posts point out, a noticeable difference in how Judy and Jane are treating their trainees (and their crushes). For the past 2 episodes Judy has been crossing lines with Ba-Mhee (and at this point she can't plead ignorance either because she initiated the second kiss) whereas Jane may have had a suspicion about Ryan's crush and been tentatively interested in return but maintained a friendly professional relationship. As a result, they've acted as a good contrast to each other in terms of what's appropriate and what's not.

But now feelings are out in the open and I think Jane is going to mess up a little too.

Because the thing with Jane is that, while he has been an excellent mentor thus far, he does sometimes teeter on the brink of being too harsh (although he hasn't crossed the line yet). We've seen it before and we definitely saw it this episode when he reprimanded Ryan (justified) and ended by asking him why he bothered to come in and make other people "feel bad" (not justified).

The reprimand was a professional reaction, the final line was an emotional one. Because Jane knows at this point that Ryan comes in because he enjoys it, because he wants to learn, and because he wants to work hard. There is no question as to why Ryan is coming in or why he should be coming in and that line was said out of pure frustration and a need to vent and last out. (It should be noted that Jane has thrown this line out a few times and while the first time was definitely a genuine question the more he asked/told Ryan not to bother coming in, the less justified it was as a reaction to the situation at hand).

So while I agree that Jane is going to react to Ryan's confession by pumping the breaks (as he should), I also think he's going to pump them so hard he's going to miss the all important step of actually talking to Ryan about what's going on and why it has to be that way.

Because ep. 8 Ryan seems to think Jane is punishing him or taking advantage of his feelings, because ep. 8 Ryan seems angry at Jane, because ep. 8 Ryan doesn't look like he understands why Jane is treating him the way he is.

And I can't blame Jane, no matter how professional you are that's one hell of an awkward conversation to have, but it is necessary and it looks to me like Jane is either putting it off (not a good idea if you're working in an emotionally demanding job) or hoping he doesn't have to have it.

And that's okay.

Jane is a great mentor and AD but he's also human: he's going to mess up once or twice and that's normal. It's been said time and time again that The Trainee is a show that takes the workplace seriously and I don't think it would be doing the complexity of being in a workplace justice if it didn't also show someone who normally makes the right calls make the wrong ones once in a while.

Putting Jane on a pedestal as an explar doesn't fit the message of the show, putting Jane in a position where he actually does make a mistake and then fixes it when he realises he's messed up, on the other hand? Yeah that fits.

[helluvapurf]

...so uhhhhh, "Apology Tour" was... *interesting*-

Didn't even seem that long ago since "Full Moon" came out so I didn't expect another ep drop this morning, buuuut welp! Lets discuss:

First off just to smoothen things up a bit, The Positives:

-Animation & visuals were quite pretty, and wasn't expecting the whole "spooky Halloween" aesthetic at Verosika's party (tho that may just be the summer season speaking lol) but hey, I kinda dig it~ 👀

-Verosika in-general, I was super stoked to see more of here! 💜and even with her staying pretty sassy/bitter towards Blitz... its honestly hard not to feel for her once she & him finally had that one-on-one convo (even revealing that she did legit love him... but Blitz simply couldn't stay with her due to his own commitment/intimacy issues ;-; ). And even if it was technically more of a pettiness move to theme her party around hating Blitz... in a way, its lowkey kinda sweet how much she wanted to help others "heal" from heartbreak? Aww... 🥺 Idk, do I still wish Verosika could've been more of the "major" character focus here (as Fizzarolli was in his past couple eps)? Absolutely. But for what its worth... I had fun watching her as I did💗 (& hopefully this won't be the last time Verosika appears story-wise, cause oml imagine the bonding potential of her, Blitz & Fizz as a reunited trio lol)

-That one incubus dude that flirted with Stolas (+kissed him) at the end seemed like a chill dude. Even if he most likely won't appear again, his vibe was fun to watch lol.

-OH, we finally get to see Mrs. Mayberry again, sweet~! :> ...and, she's apparently dating Martha now? Huh, thats... interesting, I guess? .3. (*wonder what happened to her husband/kids tho, 'cause I kiiiinda thought they would've landed in Hell too ngl-*)

...aaaaand okay yeah, that'll cover the Positives I've got atm. Now for The Negatives... ohhhhh boy:

-I... guess I'm not super alone in this opinion rn from what I've read from other fans, buuuuut... Stolas can you shut your entitled-hypocrite-mouth up for five minutes, please?? 🤦‍♀️Like, I know the dude's still reeling from how "Full Moon" ended, so him being in a mixed mood is to be expected tbh... but omllllll the way he was just SO smug, dramatic and pushy about being the "good guy" in how he & Blitz ended (-as if HE wasn't the one who set up their whole "transactional" dynamic since the start of the freakin' show?? =_=), even whining about the events of "Western Energy" (-when all Blitz was doing was prioritizing his daughter's well-being at the hospital, like a good dad should), was just... seriously?? >> Like... yes, Blitz may be a whole mess himself with how he's treated others (esp poor Verosika 💔), but that does NOT make Stolas a saint with how he handled things himself. From hanging the Grimoire over Blitz's head, creeping on him again & again, practically ragdoll-ing the poor guy's feelings during the crystal exchange (not even skipping a bit when Blitz was close to crying), aaaaand not to mention...

...so like, tell me how I'm expected to believe Blitz is the one who needs to do all this apologizing/groveling... WHEN HE DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING TO STOLAS EXCEPT (RIGHTFULLY) CALLING THIS BLUEBLOOD BIRD OUT ON HIS BS?? 😑

*sighs* Sorry, didn't mean to get heated there but... yiiiikes is this show sending so many mixed messages of where I'm supposed to stand with these two, I can't keep up anymore- 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

-As much as I get what the ep was trying to do in having Blitz see past his own ego/apologize to others… Iiiiii'd be lying if I said I didn't feel just a tad bit uncomfortable at the increasing Blitz hate, throughout the party-sequence ^^; Like, I know he's a shitty guy who's done shitty things, and absolutely he needs to recognize how much he's hurt those like Verosika (& his other exes)… buuuuut tying into my previous point, it just rings rather unfair that most of this seems mostly spurned from him rejecting Stolas, of all people? ._. When… again, they were NEVER an actual couple like him & Verosika were, instead were just a simple once-a-month hookup deal that soured 'cause of Stolas' mess of a "confession"… y'all really expect me to believe Blitz is the bad guy for not immediately accepting the "feefee's" of a privileged, horny prince (aka: the one who did hold the Grimoire over his head since S1's "Murder Family")? …Ehhhh, sorry but I am NOT buying that crap lmao -x- 👎

[sincerelywebsy]

i hate that people hate britta. i understand the joke in the show of 'brittas the worst' but some people take it way too seriously -my own brother- and she deserves better. shes such a sweet character and i love the plot with her parents, especially her talking with frankie about it. frankie is my favorite character overall, but i love her interactions with britta especially. s6 ep 2 is so special to me, seeing britta talk about her parents is so sad. the whole thing of her parents not being good people until she was older is so sad, especially since the study group doesnt realize how bad they were when she was a kid and just assume shes ungrateful

-that section in particular reminds me of Bojack Horseman, specifically late s4, as Bojack has to deal with his mom being a "good mother" to a doll, when he never got that treatment. especially when the people around him only percieve his mother as what she is now,, a sweet old lady,, when he had to experience all her abuse-

i was really hoping for a flashback that episode too, to see what really happened to her as a kid along with her talking about it. her and frankie have such a special relationship, frankie helped britta so much in this episode and i think they're such a sweet duo. brittas the worst but shes so amazing, shes the best!! yeah she messes some things up, but SHES MY GIRLLLLL

[maxphilippa]

okay actual last post about act 2 and yeah it is going to be about mic. i don't care if you disagree or not, this is purely a personal post, and also me grieving over how her character got completely assasinated. keep in mind that i've been constantly making content of her for almost 3 years so this is just me having feelings and being disappointed with how she was handled. you can have her opinions of her or anything it doesn't really matter to the point of this post. i'm putting my thoughts in place.

mic forgiving taco doesn't make sense. it still won't make sense ever, no matter how much you actually try to look at it. mic is a forgiving person, yes, but only when people try to genuinely change and when they give an actual apology to her, showing that they're sorry. taco hasn't even tried to change as she was only planning to apologize to pickle, not mic, to begin with. the sorry also just felt hollow regarding that. mic would not act like that ever. like i'm sorry but. before s2 came back, her last appearance was her quite literally leaving the game because she couldn't even bring herself to look or be around at taco anymore, because taco hurted her a lot. a by a lot i mean to the point where mic didn't even know who she was anymore once she eliminated herself.

mic's whole... arc was thrown away. her whole story about growing and changing, and leaving behind an abusive/toxic friendship to then find people who actually love you did not matter. act 2 did a complete disservice to her relationships with knife and pickle, too. are you really telling me that knife protecting mic from taco was for nothing? that mic would've just forgiven taco either way? what about pickle? are you GENUINELY telling me that mic would forgive someone who didn't only hurt her, but also her friends? are you genuinely telling me that it didn't matter if she went away and gained actual healthy relationships, she would've still forgiven taco? that doesn't make ANY sense.

because everything they did before just. said otherwise. why even bother to show the fact that mic and taco were never close to then say that "they were closer than anyone else". no that messes up with both of their arcs completely. taco never let mic get close to her and they never had an actual genuine connection. taco apologizing on ep 13 was even forced, and wasn't sincere. she only did it because knife called her out and mic going "aw taco" is just. her showing that her standars are SO SO LOW thanks to taco that she considers a terrible apology a good thing.

why even bother writing about mic calling out taco and how she treated her the same way she treated pickle? why even bother making mic say that she gained nothing out of taco? why even bother making knife and her friends? no, genuinely, do you have any idea of how much that ruins their friendship? knife literally broke all of his own rules in order to make sure mic was okay. and mic just. does that. and it's not even played with respect or seriousness.

it was for laughs. for laughs. what's funny out of that. how her character got completely ruined. how everything about her closure was genuinely unsatisfying and frustrating. how this is very clearly not what ae had in mind for her, but ae listening to the fans only on what they want, and how that completely just managed to ruin the BEST character written in ii.

and this hurts me a lot genuinely. mic was a character that i've felt connected to the most when i fully got what was her deal. i felt connected and seen in the way she acted, in the way she healed, everything. essentially she helped me to finally recognize that i was worthy of love, and that i shouldn't be ashamed to speak up against my abusers. that i shouldn't be ashamed for being myself. that i found people who actually loved me and motivatedme to let go of toxic relationships that didn't do anything but hurt me. she did genuinely so much for me on a personal level and i'll always adore her for that.

i'm. especially heartbroken at how her character was treated on ACT 2. especially the way on how brian just completely ruined the character arc he worked on the most. it felt bad, unnatural and just like a very poor attempt at a closure. they didn't even NEED a closure to begin with. for a guy that said "i don't think everyone needs closure", you sure did ruin a character with it. this genuinely feels like fanservice because that's what most fans wanted but well. her character is now ruined. i lost everything yesterday. i lost her and. i still don't know how to feel about it.

It's funny, really. You get invested in a show because it was about love, finding yourself, change and growth. And the character that matters the most to you has all of those four traits in their story. You look deeply into the backstory, their behaviour and relationships and you think that hey. It wouldn't make sense if the writers decided to throw all of that away, especially since. She's the best character written in all of the show. There's not a singular flaw on her story, nothing, she's the most humane character in a sense. She means the world to you and all you wish for her is to have a good closure. And it is hinted that she will.

But. She didn't.

And now. You don't know what to do. Everything I did, I did it for her. She helped me improve in many aspects of my life. And I'm still grieving. I just got her back and then I lost her in a terrible way.

so much for being invested in a show for almost 3 years

[rocketturtle4]

City of Stars is starting to drive me a little crazy…anyone else??

Okay so I have no idea how many people are watching this show but this weeks ep (#6) cemented for me that this show is intentionally playing with us, the BL audience, and our expectations of BL.

We have been presented and consistently shown mature, down to earth characters who express their emotions, communicate, help each other, mess with each other, and basically act like rational adults.

And yet this week for a full 2 minutes, I fully believed Krom had taken one look at the strange man in Fueangs bedroom and run straight back home with his mother’s caution echoing inside his head.

But he didn’t and Feaung explained and later we even got Krom being UP FRONT about his insecurities!!

I felt a bit like a new faen being put through trust exercises by my too good to be a true lover.

This was the most extreme example but it’s done it in a ton of other ways too, just in this ep we had things including

Ooops sent the wrong clip, will the friends explode and ruin the relationship

Will Feaung be mad that the friends know

Oh the parents know, now what??

Unequal understanding of the date! Now what?

You know how many of these caused explosions? NONE

Last week we had “Feungs big secret” as a driving force for concern but the show turned that on it’s head too!

And it did it by making fun of everyone being able to sing

This show is picking up the BL tropes, the BL mold and showing it to us like: THIS? This is what you’ve been dealing with in the past? And don’t get me wrong, I have a spreadsheet that just hit 165 BLs to very much prove I like the model.

But this show

This show is taking a trope and making it real,

or making fun of it,

or both.

Have I lost you?

That guitar scene at the end was a great example, Thai BL boys seem to take guitars wherever they go and pull them out at the drop of a hat. This show:

Made fun of that trope by making Fueang bad at singing

Added depth to that trope by making it a result of childhood trauma

Threw in some communication

And voila a guitar scene that was an emotional HIGH, regardless of your opinion on singing.

This show is saying TRUST ME, we aren’t going to steer you off a cliff,

(even as it laughingly might grab you by the shoulders and push-pull you at the edge just to see you panic for a moment lol)

I am having a very good time with it, I have no idea how we’re going to pan out, and given the reoccurring fakeouts I am now highly suspicious of it’s intro scene in ep 1. But I am seriously starting to trust this show. I feel like I can take my hands of the rails throw them in the air and enjoy the ride

Anyone coming?

(Don't get me wrong, the tropes are stil everywhere)

[matan4il]

911 ep 706 first watch reactions

Buck and Eddie setting up the bachelor party are so funny. They're married to a degree that the bride and groom can only aspire to one day achieve. And Madney are raising a kid together! Then again, so are Buddie, and have been since day 2... (day 1 is forever Buck ogling Eddie at the station, and Eddie strutting his stuff for him, with Buck's now canonically jealou-traction being the, ummm, lubricant)

Oh, Tommy just arrived, Buck and him have done nothing but hug, and Eddie's already bringing on the jealousy jealou-traction. IDK what is the etiquette about bringing your date to a bachelor party, but what's the rule about bringing your hubby who's jealous of your bf?

Oh, and an extra jab at Buck bringing Tommy officially as his date to the wedding. I love me a jealous Eddie. My dude, your closet is shaking so hard, it's about to push you out of itself if you don't make the move already.

Okay, in all seriousness, Tommy not dressing like the 80's, Buck showing that he really cared about that silly party theme, Eddie rolling with it, the two of them being dressed more as a couple than the actual guys dating, Buddie seeing things so much in the same way (down to both seeing themselves as the same character from Miami Vice) while Buck and Tommy are totally out of sync... I love that Tommy is there to help Buck figure himself out, but also, this is the stuff that will forever keep me shipping Buddie.

I know the flashback is mainly to show that the bachelor party is Buck's idea, and goes against Chim's wishes, but Eddie suggests the couple costume? And Buck was so readily on board? Even when he knew Tommy would also be invited? This is my house catching fire, while I sit here, mumbling to myself how fine it all is...

Okay, everyone leaving the bachelor party, even the guy Buck is dating, while Eddie stays, sure is something. And by "something" I mean "a couple." That's a couple. That's Buck's partner in everything, even dumb ass 80's costumes and failed bachelor parties, he's the one who jumps in whatever stupid plan Buck comes up with, and stays to deal with the mess.

LOL And then we got some REAL mess. Again, dumb Buck idea, and Eddie just rolling with it. Making it worse even, by suggesting how to take the party (made up of people who don't even know the groom) to Chimney. These two deserve each other. XD

Buck was behind Eddie while his shirt was being torn? Presumably helping with the tearing? That's it, 911 does not want me to make it to the end of the season with my sanity intact. I guess it's good that I'm not even trying...

I'm glad there was a representation of Chim and Kevin, and a Korean tradition, I just hope it was a truthful one. (do we have Korean viewers in our midst to chime in on this?)

Maddie using her 911 skills to find and help Chim is pretty badass (and a nice gender reversal of the 'damsel in distress needing to be saved a sec before her wedding' tale). Love it!

Maddie and Chim looked so happy during their wedding. Honestly, at the end of the day, my little hopelessly romantic heart doesn't need more than that. <3

Awwww, the Buck and Tommy kiss was nice. I think the most important part of it is we got to see Buck for the first time daring to kiss another guy, rather than wait to be kissed. I may bbe a Buddie shipper, but I think this r/s is important to Buck as well, to his ability to find what he wants, to not be scared of it, to not wait for others to want him as was the case with all the women he'd dated, but rather figure out what he wants in a certain moment, and that it's okay for him to go get it.

(I still don't think Tommy is Buck's endgame, though. Much as his probably my fave Buck r/s so far other than Eddie. Tommy not being there for Buck when the bachelor party flunked, him not being there at the wedding itself, to share this significant moment with Buck, being almost incidental to Buck's coming out to his colleagues and parents, other than being a gay that was obviously kissed by Buck just a short while ago... Again, just not the stuff great love stories are made of)

Hen going, "Finally!" to Karen was funny and cute. Everyone (almost) just smiling at Buck's coming out was nice. But the way his mom reacted in particular felt more realistic, and made me wish that at least with his parents, who we know he has a strained r/s with, the should would have allowed this to be more explored. Hopefully in a future ep if not now.

Thank you for reading! If you're looking for more, you can find my s7 reactions tag here, and more of my Buddie meta and content in my pinned post. xoxox

[i-heart-hxh]

In all honesty why do you think Killua made the number two comment to Gon? I feel like he doesn’t realize how messed up that is to say to someone who has gone through extensive trauma trying to prove himself to a father who also put him in “second place” to something he deemed more important. It was hurtful and I don’t see how that can be repaired now. Even if they do reunite Gon is going to just step on eggshells and fear that even one slip up will cause Killua to just leave him again. Idk I just feel like separation wasn’t the solution here. They needed to talk and then stay together. But “taking a break” rarely works out for any relationship. It also sucks that Gon constantly told Killua how important he was to him but Killua NEVER returned this sentiment verbally so Gon’s just stuck thinking he’s a piece of shit who destroyed his most important relationship. Killua really did just say “screw Gon I have Alluka now”.

Hello!

I don't agree with this interpretation at all; to me, there are a number of complex reasons why Killua made that comment, and I don't think it will destroy their relationship by any means.

This post--In-Depth analysis on the Hidden Reasons behind Gon & Killua's separation scene (ep 147) Why Gon is 'Number 2'--is the best starting point for anyone trying to understand the separation, in my opinion. It's cohesive, uses supporting evidence from the series and demonstrates the careful wording used in the separation, and it makes more sense than any other interpretation I've read of why Killua would make such a comment to Gon. I keep referring back to this post because I truly think it holds keys to understanding the separation that other posts I've seen don't.

In addition to the insight provided in that post--where Killua is trying to put some distance between him and Gon for Gon's safety and well-being, essentially--I also think it's:

a) Partly how Killua is trying to steel himself to leave Gon, by telling himself, Gon, and Alluka that Alluka is his priority for now

b) Part of Killua's campaign of teasing Gon lightheartedly on the topic, to bring it up while at the same time downplaying the emotional effects of what happened between them--because when they're separating is not the right time for them to seriously address it or work through it

I do think the second place comment hurt Gon a little, but...Gon is already aware that he hurt Killua, and after his life was literally saved by Alluka (Nanika), being put in "second place" is not the worst outcome ever, honestly. Plus, it confirms he's still one of the most important people to Killua even after everything that happened between them! Killua is not saying Gon is trash to him now, even though it is a bit of a jab.

I've also said before that I think Togashi had Killua make this comment with awareness that we, as the audience, would be like, "Uh-huh Killua, sure, interesting of you to say this so shortly after you centered your entire life on him for basically the whole series and even seriously considered doing a lovers suicide with this guy..." We're most likely supposed to see it as Killua not being fully honest, even though Alluka does obviously mean a lot to Killua and by necessity she has to be his priority now. Plus, even Alluka herself says she'll give Killua back to Gon after a while. She must have some idea of how much Gon means to Killua, to be so willing to "give him back." I've said this before, but I see this line from Alluka about giving Killua back to Gon as a promise from Togashi to the audience that this isn't forever.

Gon isn't clueless; he knows Killua cares about him even though Killua struggles to express it verbally. The degree of trust and unspoken understanding between them in the dodgeball match is a good (albeit complicated) example of this. The two didn't communicate to the degree they needed to during Chimera Ant Arc, which makes sense because they're young and have their own issues and it was terribly traumatic for both for them, but they also have a good understanding of each other overall, and it's not giving Gon enough credit to assume he has no idea just because Killua hasn't said it. He doesn't know the full extent of Killua's feelings for him, certainly (I hope he will someday!), but he is aware Killua cares about him. Even when it comes to the separation, Killua expressing his pain shows that he still cares about Gon! He's saying that what happened still hurts, because he still cares! He's making light of it, but it's honestly a step in the right direction for him to be discussing it at all. If they can't be honest with each other about how what happened impacted them, they can't heal.

Of course it would be better for their relationship if they talked it out fully and came to some sort of resolution, but neither of them were in a place where they could do that quite yet. Killua is too closed up emotionally and hurting from seeing Gon essentially die in front of him, and Gon needs to recover from essentially throwing his life away and saying those things to Killua that we know he regrets. They do need some time apart to reflect and grow.

Are the two boys in a complicated emotional situation currently? Yes. Do I think this dooms them to never reconnect or heal their relationship? Absolutely not. I see their separation as more of a "We gotta go our separate ways for now because we both have things we have to deal with," (both externally and internally) than anything final. They agree to stay in touch, they express sadness at having to part, they make it clear several times that this is a temporary parting. Why make them clearly unsatisfied with having to part if they're not going to have an opportunity to make things right later?