#think i might be a bad person and idk how to stop being an emotional terroristst/sadomasochist in my relationships with men…

[number1girl]

good morning.

[yongseungkim]

.

[tevanbuckley]

some low points from the ry*an g*zman interview because i need you all to feel my pain.

when talking about his celibacy (yes he uses that word): "I haven't entertained any interactions with any other females" — gave me the ick 0/10

uses the phrase "a woman's touch," to explain why women are inherently good at interior decorating(?) and that this skill is how women are able to enrich a successful man's life — side note: at no point do they talk about how men enrich women’s lives.

immediately after this the religious imagery takes a left turn and exits my frame of reference, bc instead of just asking "do you think you still have things to work on?" like a normal person, the host says "I want to know what one Thorn is in your flesh." — someone raised more religious than i was needs to chime in on if this is normal christian doctrine or a sign he might be in a cult. (is it a reference to the thorns in jesus' crown?)

ryan makes a weird comment about how "you've seen civilizations built on [a man in love]" — genuinely idk what the fuck this means — but it leads into a tangent about like, men as providers and how "I would do anything for my women."

"peace is key yeah we got enough problems in the world outside the house and so long as I come back to the house and I get peace," — maybe i'm being pedantic but the way he keeps framing woman as belonging in the home is 🚩🚩🚩🚩

"for the next woman I would have in my life I can see that they navigate their their problems and still offer peace to their men." — again 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

surprisingly claims he has been to therapy, which assuming is true, idk it worked.

the host: "women may be fighting internal battles you know kind of themselves do you believe that a woman still fighting those battles are able to still bring peace" — because remember ladies, no matter what you're going through your job is to bring peace to your man's home.

there's some more brief gender essentialist bs where ryan talks about how men "like to fix things," but are bad listeners, and how "problems within women are so specific to women that I wouldn't even try and and say that I have a grasp on them."

then the host randomly asks him if he thinks men need to be financially stable before entering a relationship or if dating a broke guy is a way to "present loyalty."

weirdly ryan actually kind of dodges this question, but ends up suggesting social media is a good place to get "great examples of what does and what doesn't seem to work." in relationships — and no. no it isn't.

oh and then he starts talking about conor mcgregor for some reason? and how it's bad he disrespected his wife by stepping outside their marriage — and i mean sure, although infidelity feels second to the rape accusations??

says it's harder for a woman to come into a man's life when he's already established because "now the man has proven to himself that he never needed a woman." — which, interesting given how later he talks about how women need to stop trying to do the independent woman thing.

he also gets weirdly possessive over his daughter at one point. does the classic "God forbid I find out that man disrespects my little baby." — idk, on the surface he talks about how he wants her to know her value, but it seems like he has a pretty limited view of what that value is.

the host drops lore about how she moved out of her parents house at 14/15 and how she had to "stop thinking like a woman and start thinking also like a man," but stay feminine and "know what a man wants and how to cater to that but also still be soft." — i mean good lord, i don't even know where to start 🤢.

this btw is the preamble to ryan's rant about "independent women."

and god the more i read the more i am deeply concerned about the woman hosting (i saw someone earlier say she's 21). this woman is barely an adult and has so much internalised misogyny, talking about how "us women don't know how to direct our emotions." and "in today's generation a lot of men are deprived of even the small things because a lot of women are takers."

this whole interview is utterly bizarre and i feel like it's taken years off my life. like i said earlier, this isn't a normal podcast he got weird on, this is straight up christian propaganda

[timegnosticproductions]

Ghosts: BBC vs CBS

It’s been almost a month since I finished BBC’s Ghosts, and I cannot stop thinking about it. It has quickly become one of my favourite TV shows. I watched the US-American version first because it had been plaguing my TikTok FYP. It was a fine show, but it didn’t have the grip the BBC version currently has on me.

This is an exploration of why I found UK Ghosts to be a much more compelling story than US Ghosts, even if they are “the same show”.

DISCLAIMER: There will be spoilers for both shows.

The Main Couple

Underappreciated in both shows, let’s begin with the two livings: Alison and Mike, and Sam and Jay.

Sam and Jay feel, to me, like they just spawned at the beginning of the show. They aren’t people, with lives before the fragments we see, which will continue after the show ends. Sam is the biggest offender of the two. Where are her friends from before she moved to Woodstone Manor? I would understand if she didn’t have any friends over, and we also have to consider that the US is massive compared to the UK, and her friends might live on the other side of the country. But not one call? No facetime? Not even one text message? And let me be clear: I don’t want this to be a show about her living friends, and I don’t need them to be characters in the show, but do Sam and Jay have to be completely cut off from the real world?

Alison and Mike, on the other hand, have a friend group, and when these friends play a role in an episode, the focus is still on the ghosts’ reactions. They don’t distract from the main characters, while still making Alison and Mike feel more grounded in reality.

Character moments vs. cheap jokes

I’m not the first person to point this out, and I certainly won’t be the last, but it’s still worth saying: why would you change a ghost’s powers from Mary reliving the moment of her death, being “burned at the stake” again, and subsequently making the living people that have passed through her smell the burning of the fire that killed her, to a fart joke. Isaac’s life/death is tragic, but his ghost power being “fart” get’s really exhausting really quickly.

Ghost lore

Expanding on ghost powers, let’s talk about the other ghosts. This point, I realise, is less black and white and more about personal preference rather than bad writing. I like that Ghosts (UK) doesn’t always directly answer the viewer’s questions about the afterlife. Some ghosts have powers, and some don’t and the ones that don’t aren’t searching for them. Mary gets “sucked off” but we don’t know what comes next.

In the US version, however, there is explicitly a hell and a heaven, and Elias comes back from hell to tell us what happens there.

That is one of the many charms of the UK version, the uncertainty. What comes next? I don’t want to know.

I also think it helps the emotional punch of Mary’s death (re-death, moving on? idk) land better. If one of the CBS ghosts were to die, the grieving wouldn’t be as devastating, because we know what comes next, and how could we be sad when a character has, certainly, gone to heaven? It could still be made into an interesting episode, maybe exploring the other ghosts’ (especially the older ones) jealousy, who also want to get “sucked off”. Still, I much prefer the uncertainty of Mary’s death (would also very much like to see a main character from the US version move on, just because I would like to see how they handle it when it isn’t a fake out like with Flower).

Found family vs. pair the spares

CBS’s Ghosts has an obsession with romance, to the point where it is quite frankly absurd.

You know when in a fandom there is a four-person friend group (or other even number) and two of those characters are in a really popular ship, so the fandom decides to ship the other two characters together as if they couldn’t be happily single, or aromantic, or whatever? (Author’s note: yes, aromantic people can still date, doesn’t take away from my point.) Yeah, I feel like that watching CBS’s Ghosts. Some characters are single, but I still think there is too much of a focus on romance/sex, with Flower and Thor, Isaac and Nigel, Hetty and Trevor, Pete and Alberta/Donna since he discovered his ghost power, and I’m sure when the series is over I will have more examples. Maybe, if these couples had more chemistry and were properly set up, I wouldn’t be so hard on them, but my point still stands.

Both shows try to pull off the found family angle, but only one of them succeeds. You can’t call it a found family if your only “family dynamic” is “romantic relationship”, that’s just a regular friend group. The Captain and Kitty’s father-daughter relationship is one of my favourite things about the original, and I also love Julian being a sort of mentor to Alison in all things scheming. It can even be played for laughs, with Robin being the “family dog”. None of this charm is carried over to the US-American version, and I really, really wish it was, because it has made me fall in love with the BBC’s version.

Pacing

You know, for a show with 20-ish episodes per season instead of six, you’d think they could take more than an episode to develop a storyline properly. Let’s take a closer look at two storylines that appear in both shows.

Firstly, the one with Alison’s/Sam’s long-lost sister. In the BBC’s version, this is a season-long arch, and it is not solely centred around uncovering whether she is lying, but also discussing Kitty’s jealousy and possessiveness over Alison; and Alison’s deep desire for a family, and how the ghosts have become that for her. And, generally, it makes you believe that Alison would believe the lie, and wouldn’t see the holes in the story, because she just really wanted a sister. Sam’s story plays almost the same but is reduced to a single episode. I know it is the classic sitcom formula, things must return to the status quo by the end of the episode. Still, I wish it wasn’t so rushed.

Secondly, the Captain(s) coming out. In both shows, the queerness of these characters is very obvious, but in the UK version, coming to terms with his queerness and learning to express his feelings is the core of his character. However, the US version takes this in another direction, placing more importance on the budding relationship between Isaac and Nigel (see: my point about this version’s obsession with romance). The UK version is hardly subtle, but compared to the US version… I wouldn’t be so angry if they hadn’t decided to undo their development by having Isaac leave Nigel at the altar.

Bad people vs. bad characters

This discussion should extend beyond Ghosts and into literature/art in general. To quote Oscar Wilde, “It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.” A character being a bad person doesn’t mean they are a bad character, those two qualities can coexist, but don’t always come together. CBS’s Ghosts seems wary of making any of the characters bad people. BBC’s Ghosts doesn’t have this problem. Julian (the equivalent to Trevor in the CBS version) is a bad person, especially at the beginning of the show. And he is probably my favourite character. He died of a heart attack while cheating on his wife, he didn’t bother to take care of his daughter and he attempted to kill Alison, which ultimately resulted in her being able to see ghosts. He is not nice, and the show doesn’t want you to think that. And you watch him grow throughout the series and it is great.

None of the characters in the US version are bad. This is mostly just a pet peeve of mine, but I do think it makes things much more static. Everyone in this version is just too nice. And too excited about everything. Why is Sam so onboard with the ghosts? Why is she never annoyed with them? And why do they never talk over each other? Do they never get tired of each other? I mean, some of them have been “living” together for centuries!

This topic in particular is something I want to write about more extensively, looking at other shows and fandom perception and that kind of stuff, so I’m going to cut myself here.

Conclusion

I don’t think that CBS’s Ghosts is, like, the worst show ever, it just doesn’t live up to its predecessor. That was just, from my point of view, a really high bar. There is one thing I think it does better than its BBC counterpart, and that is Jay’s relationship with the Ghosts (as opposed to Mike’s), which is to say, he actually has one.

So, yes, CBC’s Ghosts has lots of issues that may come from adapting the story for an American audience, or may just be lousy writing. Either way, I still enjoy it, although the episodes are definitely harder to get through.

[sugarlywhispers]

Laysa … your recent lavagirl and Bakugou post was so 😋

1) Bakugou is about to crash tf out THIS IS NOT A DRILL 🚨‼️🙅🏾‍♀️

2) idk what that villain thought this was but lavagirl and Bakugou DO NOT play about each other frfr .. like the villain is soo cooked it’s not even funny

3) also angstier thought about this but like Bakugou was so torn up about slightly hurting lavagirl even though it wasn’t even her. So now I’m thinking about a villain that has a puppet control quirk and like they control someone completely but the person is still aware of what’s happening yet can’t stop it. And the villain sends Bakugou after lavagirl 😣. Like… she hesitated so bad even though the villain WASNT Bakugou.. imagine if it really was him 💔

Me thinking about how heartbreaking that would be:

(Sorry to be a Debby downer I literally just read this three part angst fic that had tears streaming down my face fr 🤕🤧)

NO, BECAUSE—

1) THAT VILLAIN IS FUCKING DEAD. LIKE, THIS IS NO JOKE. 🔥🔥

2) It's so not funny how Dynamight –the real one– is about to shred to pieces his own image. Like, think about the symbolism for a sec… NOT EVEN HIMSELF IS ALLOWED TO HURT HIS BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT WIFE. AND THAT'S A CLEAR THREAT TO EVEN HEROES. NO FUCKING ONE GETS TO TOUCH Y/N. PERIOD.

3) ADKANXNDBAQLWIWYGSKDJSJS MY HEART. 💔💔 Just imagine—

Bakugou Katsuki is freaking crying, loudly begging, and desperately pleading inside his head to any possible god existing up there in the sky to fucking please… STOP. All as he sees you recoil, genuine fear splattered in all your factions and body stance while he is forcibly ordered to walk towards you. He can feel it, his body getting ready to attack against his own will. He's going to attack you. You, the most important person of his life. The person he chose to share everything with. Gentle and soothing touches every night, laying together in the same bed, before falling asleep in each other's arms. From small pecks of ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’ to deep, passionate kisses that show how in love you're with each other. Gentle words that reassure how well each of you did for the day and even healthy arguments in which you worriedly reprend each other if the other did something stupid and put their life in danger. Either way, it always ended in a forgiven strong embrace of a hug and a touch of lips that means: ‘I still love you over all’.

It's not clear to everyone watching. It's not even clear to you as he approaches, deadly looking, ready to fight you with all his might –yet eyes turned white, void of any emotion, coldly inexpensive, and obviously in a trance that no matter how hard Red Riot or Deku try while throwing stuff or even themselves at Dynamight, they can not break the spell the villain has their best friend in.

Pro Hero Dynamight just looks like he's ready to kill.

To kill you.

No one can actually see the battle he is having inside his head with himself.

STOP. FUCKIN’ STOP! STUPID BODY!! FUCKIN’ STOP MOVING! DON'T YOU DARE HURT HER. NO. STOP!!!

He's howling inside his head, and it's no use. No matter how desperately and loud he screams in his head, he isn't in control of his body. But he can see. He sees and feels his body blowing away the stuff Izuku throws to stop him. He sees and feels when Eijirou puts himself in front of him, all turned into rock, as he punches and tries to pull Katsuki away; yet he ends up being thrown probably a kilometer away and against the bricks of a fallen building by the force of one of Katsuki's explosions.

Inside his head he grimaces at what he has done to his two best friends. They look pretty wounded, and it's all because of him. 

Fuck!

And Katsuki sees and feels his arm raising, cannon directed at you, who stand several meters in front of him quite unsure on what to do.

MOVE. DODGE. RUN AWAY. DON'T LET ME HURT YOU! FUCKIN’ FIGHT ME!! 

But you don't. Your lava completely retracts into your body, no longer standing in an attack nor defensive position.

NO. FUCK! DON'T! Y/N, DON'T!

His other hand raises, fingers directing at the side of the cannon that would activate the shoot of his accumulated nitroglycerin sweat that would bring hell into the world. Fuckin’ directed at you!

NO! NOOO! Please… No…

Dynamight fires.

Right at the last minute he sees Deku standing in front of you, fully ready to receive the blast. And then Red Riot in his rock form appears in front of Deku, fully receiving the blast. 

Mentally, Katsuki groans with relief. Kirishima has trained thousands of times with him, enduring his shots in his rock form. The red-head is strong enough to endure a blast like that one. However, the amount of nitroglycerin collected has been too big, even for what Dynamight himself is used to. He feels the recoil in his shoulder, he knows one more move and it will break. And he truly wishes it does if it means he won't get another chance to hurt any of you or his friends.

Yet when he focuses his attention back to the place where you were once the smoke dissipates, he freezes. Red Riot is fully knocked out, lying almost moveless on the ground if not for the slow intakes of breath. Deku is also down, a big portion of rock that exploded up from the ground over his legs that prevents him from moving it off him. Fuck, Katsuki knows if Izuku wasn't so weakened as he is at the moment he would be able to easily punch the rock away and fight him. But the villain had already taken care of tiring Deku a lot before Dynamight and Y/H/N landed on the scene.

And you… Oh, no… 

You are lying motionless on the dirty ground, torches of fire close to your body but not close enough to burn you. But the blast has been strong enough to even reach you behind two of the biggest heroes there are.

Katsuki is yelling in agony inside his head.

He still sees and feels his body move. Walking slowly but surely towards where you lay. Passing by the two completely beating up pro heroes like he doesn't care a damn thing about them.

Fuck! No… NO. STOP ALREADY. PLEASE!! FUCKIN’ STOP!!!

When he stands next to you, he moves you with his boot to lay on your back. He sees your beaten and weak body barely respond as he straddles your hips, but you're looking at his eyes. And he feels his own ready to attack again.

NO, FUCKIN’ NO!

His hand raises, palm open, getting closer to your face, heat increasing with each second that passes. He feels it coming, a big blast ready to shoot at your face. Ready to kill you.

Bakugou Katsuki is bawling inside his head, fucking desperate and metaphorically pulling the hairs of his head at how incompetent, how out of control he feels.

He's going to kill you, with his own hands, and there's nothing he can do to stop it.

And then… You smile at him. That loving and comprehensive smile you used to give him when he didn't know how to express his feelings. Filled with love and assurance.

Everything freezes again, including his body.

“I know you're in there, Katsuki,” you speak in such a gentle tone it physically makes the pit of his stomach contract in painful love. Both of your hands weakly hold the one a few centimeters away from your face.

His complete body starts to tremble, and you know that Katsuki is inside there fighting. He's battling to regain the power over his own body as hard as he can. You know your Katsuki is there.

Tears start to escape your eyes, but they still show the immense love you feel for the man above you. You know that even though he is about to kill you, it's not his fault. It's not him. Katsuki would never kill you. You trust him. You love him. And even if he does end up killing you, you would still love him.

“It's me, Katsuki. Y/N… Your Y/N,” you cry, one of your hands cups his face that holds an angry, deadly expression, his eyes still white and void of any emotion. But you can feel him trembling, droplets of sweat sliding over the skin of his temples thanks to the strength you know his mind is putting against the control the villain has over his body.

And you smile bigger, still looking at him with adoring love. Weakly directing his hand down towards your chest, right where your heart is. You press his hand against it, for him to feel the beats that jump against your chest for him. Because of him. Your beating heart that loves him. That lives for him. And that would gladly die for him too.

“All I… all I want you to know… is that… I still love you over all.”

You close your eyes, ready for the outcome that it's most surely about to happen. Ready to receive with open and welcoming arms the mutual friend every hero has: Death.

A real and loud roar escapes Dynamight's mouth. Everyone witnessing the immense struggle, the hard fight the pro hero is battling inside.

And then a snap. It feels as if someone cut something off with a katana, the typical sound the weapon makes as it slides heads off in movies.

You feel the hand over your chest leave its place forcefully, and when you open your eyes, that hand fires a blast towards the air. Katsuki's arm is raised over his head, palm open at the sky as the blast bellows in rage, just like the scream that came within his chest and out.

Katsuki eyes open as fire lightens above his head, teary ruby eyes looking down at you in deep relief and love.

You sob happily as Katsuki lets his body fall languid over you, but still putting his forearms on each side of your head to avoid completely falling with his weight over you.

“I love you,” his head is hiding in your neck as he takes rapid and deep inhales of breath, so you kiss his cheek several times while your arms surround his body.

Your Katsuki is back.

You help him turn to the side and lay on his back, body still trembling and breathing fastly. You know he's seconds away from losing consciousness, so you kiss him one more time, this time on his forehead lovingly. He relaxes and he's out.

Your eyes travel to the villain, who looks dumbfounded that your husband broke the spell and gained his control back. But when their eyes find yours, they gulp. You stand and begin to walk towards him, your lava activating with each step you give closer. Your eyes hold so much rage, your body lightening up and showing the demonic look you're known for. It's the villain's turn to recoil, unsure and afraid.

“Now, is fucking personal…”

[msp9]

THIS IS MY LIKES AND DISLIKES OF CHAOS THEORY ⚠️Spoilers below cut⚠️

When i first finished this season, I too like some people, was skeptical about it. I get why some people say its bad, I just thought it was very different from cc. At points the characters didin't feel like themsleves, the way some of them were written and the designs gave me a real hard time to get used to them. Also i felt as if it was just too much to process at times so i rewatched it and my final answer is that its a good show the pacing is incredeble, the plot, the suspence and character development. i just had a hard time getting used to everything new? Ig. I'm still doubting whether its a 10 but sure thing is that it was a very good first season its a easy 9/10. So here are the thinks i liked abt it:

-THE WAY THEY POTRAYED EVERYONES TRAUMA/STRUGGLES , Sammy having anxiety, Yaz overcoming her ptsd, and KENJI. MY BOY. That must have been the best breakdown i've seen in animated series. Whoever wrote that scene. Wow. It was the best thing in the whole show honestly. His vision gtting blurry, having truble breathing. The panick. Wow. I CANNOT SAY THIS LOUD ENOUGH.

-Ben and Sammy duo? Hello? Im srry to say but you might just be better than Yaz and Ben duo. Idk i really loved them.

- "Benjamin."

- Showing Yaz is doing better. Despite her ongoing struggles, she has clearly grown and matured the last 6 years, and the way she calmed Sammy in the sinking van? Ig all those therapy sessions and college paid off. That scene is a clear illustration of the progress she has made. I mean sammy did say "i can tell shes still struggling" but there wasnt really a clear scene of her getting stuck in place as she used to. So my guess is that it was just Sammys anxiety and the fact that they didint talk much. Bc then Sammy was surprised how she kept herselve together. So yeah

-YASAMMY. NOTHING MORE TO ADD.

-UM SAMMYS CHARACTER?? HELLO? GLOW UP, CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT, i loved her sm. She moved up to my top 3.

And her anxiety? It was so well shown too

-the fight between Sammy and Yaz felt so natural and not at all forced. They both had valid points and in the end they did understand each other and were on the same page.

-Ben being Ben in almost every episode

- Yasmina's "boo."

-Brooklynns design?? Majestic to say the least.

- ingore what i said ealrier abt the acting out of character. They do remind themsleves they just grew

Well, all except Ben...

-Kenjis new voice actor, he did a real good job, as much as it doesn't sound like him, he really captured some emotional scenes very well.

- The robot lady. THEY REALLY SAID TAKE A WOMAN AND MAKE HER CREEPY ASF. I was genunanly creeped out. And the detail that at the ranch if u listen closesly u can hear the whistle. Hell nah that was scary.

-Benrius Ben and Darius friendship, okay actually u can't tell me u didint feel it too, the tention between ben and Darius cmon we all know what u are Ben stop making up girlfriends in Europe

-Brooklynn turning bad, or from what we are told worked for bad people ig. Personally as much as it shocked me, im sure theres a good reason as to why and i cant wait to hear more abt in season 2.

-I can now undertand what everyone meant in reviews saying "its more mature" not only in the more death and dinos but it woyud be kind of confusing for a younger audience to undertsand some stuff in this show.

-I really liked Daniels kon death, maybe it wasn't necesarry but im all in for that dark death scene.

-Lastly the comment Sammy makes when Ben asks how bumpy got pregnant, and the yazs smirk. Gurl i was suprised they added that but i loved it

Now, the things that i didint like and why:

- First of all, Darius being in love with brooklynn. I mean i get it but i also dont get it. In my opinion, there shouldn't have been a different reason as to why Darius was the most effected by her death. They were close and she died. Its okay to be really effected by someones death and not bc u liked them, and i also do believe that the reason for him not showing up the night she "died" should have been smth more serious. Then again i get it bc now he felt a lot more guilt bc it was for a not so important reason he didint show up and thats why he didint tell anyone. Well axtually it isnt that bad, but i just felt it was forced for the plot. This again could be bc i started to like kenlynn and now they turned the tables completly but sure.

-Brooklynns voice actor. I just couldn't connect her to brooklynn? She sounded a lot different, not a major bad thing it was just hard to get used to.

-Ben having a gf, or supposedly having one, u telling me this man has a gf:

I thought it funny but yk that man is a homosexual

- and lastly, Brooklynn being alive. This might sound bad but it made sense for her to die. And i was kinda lamed out that she wasnt dead. (Pls ironically enough, just weeks ago i begged for her to be alive.) But like the way everyone suffered bc of her death, going throught the 5 stages of grief, and the way the show was played. It just would have been better if she died, all those flashbacks, the emotional moments, i mean its not gonna be the same when i rewatch it bc i know shes alive. Anyways enough abt this.

Actually i have nothing more to add to my "bad stuff" list but i might come up with smth later. Bc i will be rewatchibg it obviously. Ig lastly i just wanted more episodes how dare they cutting the season of right there.

[charmedreincarnation]

Hey lovely charm!

I haven’t sent an ask to any blog all this time I’m here because I’m trying to avoid negativity and victim mentality, however I’d like to ask this one thing (of course you can ignore this ask if it’s been answered before or you just don’t want to respond, also I’ll throw a TW but there’s nothing really bad on here)

I read the latest success story which actually almost brought tears to my eyes, I’m proud of this person and everyone that managed to get out of their awful and undeserved circumstances!! My question though is that one thing that drives me crazy all this time and it might sound stupid: how do we actually surrender to our imagination?

Is it just believing everything is going to change? Because I think I might be doing something wrong and I don’t know what it is, I’m just tired of waking up and seeing the same awful and dreadful reality. I’m tired crying every night because I’m being “forgotten” even by friends like I don’t exist sometimes. I’m tired “trying” for the void. Every night before I sleep and every morning, even for the whole day, I’m just thinking as if I got it all already, I’m walking to my dreadful 7-3 work but I’m imagining walking in London going to my actual dream job, wearing my dream clothes and having my dream appearance. The problem is that I feel I’m living on a loop, keep doing the things I did before but kind of “dressing them up” with my mind, in my mind. Any advice you have, I hope it’s going to also help out any other kind soul on here that needs it.

Thank you in advance lovely, I follow your blog with devotion and one of these days I’ll send you my success! xx

Hiii 💓I can only speak for myself, but surrendering to imagination for me looked like letting go of the how and the when my desires would appear. And you know it seems kind of stupid at first, I get that. When people used to say that it made me mad,but that was before I actually understood what it meant. I used to think well “If I wanted it in my imagination I’d just daydream” which isn’t even correct because if you’re imagining of your desires instead of from them, it’s the reason you don’t feel fulfilled anyways. But it’s actually a great thing.

When I stopped trying to change the 3D and stopped trying figure out how/why/when my desired would appear and instead remembered I already had them, it got a little easier. I stopped worrying about if my crying would stop my desires from coming to fruition, bc if I already have it in my imagination why would that matter? just because you’re wealthy does that mean you can’t cry lmfao. it didn’t matter what I did, when I got mad I stopped spiraling, I stopped trying to repress my emotions, it got easier and it became more real. That’s when I understood what they meant when they say you don’t want your desires just to be freed from desiring.

The limitless changes didn’t really start until I was Immersed in my imagination, though I had a good amount of conscious “manifestations” before so. But in truth I've always been a maladaptive daydreamer, creating a different reality within my mind. Despite what others and myself perceived as a bland and middling childhood, my inner world was vibrant and full of possibilities. Then I found myself wondering why these vivid daydreams didn't manifest into reality during my childhood. Idk if it was due to my age or lack of conscious awareness of what I was doing.But again I think it was because I was thinking 'of' rather than 'from'.

It’s the imagination that is limitless and why every creation is possible. It really did free me from my doubts I carried here in this plane. In the grand theater of the multiverse, every dream, every desire you've ever had is playing out already since you can see it in your imagination. You can have your dream life - from your appearance and personality to your family, zodiac sign, and even your perfect partner. you can revise and embody the life you want in every aspect, and wake up in a whole new world tomorrow. You can indulge in every spiritual practice you could ever imagine. You can connect with the energy of the universe on such a profound level that you become one with everything around you. You can become the grass under your feet, the stars twinkling in the night sky.

Why? Because you are a limitless being. You are the universe experiencing itself, a manifestation of its infinite creativity. You're not separate from the universe; you are the universe, yet a human at the same time. So what does the 3D have to do with any of that. Yes you’re here and it is real and you will experience the best of love and humanity because of it but first surrender to imagination because that’s where it begins.

“Consciousness is the one and only reality, not figuratively but actually. This reality may for the sake of clarity be likened unto a stream which is divided into two parts, the conscious and the subconscious. In order to intelligently operate the law of consciousness it is necessary to understand the relationship between the conscious and the subconscious. The conscious is personal and selective; the subconscious is impersonal and non-selective. The conscious is the realm of effect; the subconscious is the realm of cause. These two aspects are the male and female divisions of consciousness. The conscious is male; the subconscious is female. The conscious generates ideas and impresses these ideas on the subconscious; the subconscious receives ideas and gives form and expression to them.”(Neville Goddard)

"So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." (Genesis 1:27)

"And have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator." (Colossians 3:10)

In the realm of imagination, boundaries dissolve. Here, we're not just passive observers; we're active creators, shaping our reality with every thought, feeling, and belief we entertain. This isn't about escaping reality but rather embracing a more expansive view of it.

So, why would you ever limit yourself to the confines of the 3D world? Why not tap into the limitless potential of our imagination, where we are the architects of our own promise. I mean your imagination is your superpower. So, harness it. Dream big, unapologetically feel-deeply, and maintain unwavering faith in your creativity that everyone is born with.

[serial-serializednovelreader]

Nova’s Notes - DD - May 8th

That’s right, I’m deciding to give my thoughts a cheesy name because why not (also it’s late oops).

So this may be one of my favorite entires of the entire book. My first go-around it was for the mirror-yeet scene (because that’s iconic) and Dracula being The Housekeeper of all timeTM, but now it’s also one of my favorites because of how much we learn about Jonathan.

They say you learn the most about a person when they’re in crisis mode, and while I don’t always think that’s true, Stoker definitely wanted to let Jonathan’s personality shine through here.

From the first passage, he’s literally guessed that Dracula is undead. “I fear I am the only living soul here.” Sure, he might mean that he’s the only present soul, if Dracula’s left the building, but since he describes the mirror yeeting scene right after…idk, I’d like to think he knows way more than we ever gave him credit for. “Clueless Jonathan” who? Is the clueless in the room with us?

Also going back to the first sentence where he describes worrying he was getting too wordy, but now being glad he did…oof. I feel for him here. If my theory is correct that he was initially writing in a more detailed way for Mina so he could remember his travels for later…I’m sure it’s hitting him now that while it may be saving his life that he’s more detailed, it’s so twisted that something he did as a note of affection has soured. I wonder if he’s thinking about how he may never get out of this, or if that hasn’t fully hit him yet.

Moving on to everyone’s favorite mirror-yeet scene, think about how Jonathan reacts when he’s caught off guard by Dracula because he didn’t see his reflection. How would most protagonists react? Probably laugh nervously and brush it off. Attribute it to some mistake on his part, which is exactly what Jonathan does *at first*. But after, he looks at Dracula and then looks back at the mirror to confirm his suspicions are correct, which they are. It’s an interesting moment and not one I think we see often at the beginning of a horror story (I don’t consume much horror though, so correct me if I’m wrong!). Usually, a character won’t get to this level of observation until towards the middle/end, when more supernatural elements have occurred. Jonathan may have second guessed his instincts, but checking them again is what makes him more likely to survive Castle Dracula.

Plus, when Dracula makes a move to attack him, his first instinct is to dodge the attack, showing that he’s not just going to freeze up at the first sign of trouble (which I want to emphasize isn’t a problem normally, but he is dealing with a thousands-of-years-old vampire…so, he has to be quick on his feet to survive).

Afterwards, he says he is annoyed at losing his mirror rather than disturbed, but I saw another post saying he’s repressing his panic as annoying (I’ll link it if I find it again) and I definitely think that’s true!! I can totally see that as his coping mechanism. Plus, compared to the rest of what happens for him today, it really is more of an annoyance than anything else. Would you rather your host throw away your mirror or lock you in a castle?

So after that horrific scene of terror, Jonathan is proactive in searching the castle. After finding a beautiful — but slightly horrifying landscape (you know it’s bad when he doesn’t stop to describe the view) — he decides to explore further, which leads him to figure out almost every other door is locked, including the front one to find, yep you guessed it…he’s a prisoner in the castle.

As I imagine most people would, at first he reacts by frantically running around trying to open locked doors like “a rat does in a trap.” The fact that he admits this in his diary (and, by extension to Mina/us) is admirable because it already shows he’s not afraid to be open about his emotions, even if it makes him look weak (which — unfortunately, he would, considering the time period). Most heroes of this period were expected to accept their fates with stoic determination, but that’s not human and that’s not how Jonathan is, either. We’ve already seen that he’s more open-minded than most English men by accepting the crucifix even if he doesn’t understand it and of course the way he shows his love for Mina is atypical for Victorian men as well. Most men wouldn’t go to the trouble of writing down descriptive notes just to recount it for the benefit of his fiancée later. It’s sad, but true.

Once he’s able to regulate himself a bit, it’s time for thinking and strategy, determining that he needs all of his wits to get through this! Once he sees that the Count does the cooking AND the cleaning, though, is when my love for Jonathan reaches an all-time high. He comes to a series of conclusions most protagonists don’t figure out until the end of a novel after way more obvious clues have been laid out for him and it’s only his 3rd day of being in the castle!! They go as follows:

A) Dracula = servants

B) Dracula = driver

C) Dracula = control wolves

D) Villager’s concern/gifts = this is worse than I thought

E) Crucifix = actual help?

F) Get Dracula to talk about himself (not hard) = find more information, but not in an obvious way

I also love that he questions his own biases about the crucifix he was given!!!! When else do you see an Englishman do that in the 1890s of his own volition (aka without someone snarkily telling him to - see BBC’s Dracula if you want an example). I certainly haven’t!

He also noticed that Drac talked about his “ancestors” as if he had been present for their battles (hmm wonder why that is). Hasn’t quite figured it out yet, but there’s evidence that he doesn’t write something down as a fact until he knows it is a fact, so perhaps we’ll see him write more on this later.

Final thought - his reference to Arabian Nights and Hamlet is significant and tragic, but also relatable. I too like to relate my life to my favorite blorbos, Jonathan!

All in all, we learned that Jonathan is very good in a crisis. He’s not stoic like most protagonists of his time period, but he is instead strategic and observant, willing to play the part of oblivious to keep himself alive another day and keep Dracula’s trust. This is likely what’s keeping him alive right now, as an aggressive approach would get him killed. Dracula is all about playing with his prey and keeping the illusion of benevolent host and willing guest — it’s a game of control for him. Breaking this game would mean it’s no fun and no fun would mean Jonathan is no longer needed….

While I know how this story goes, I’m as excited as first time readers to see how Jonathan plays what is, essentially, 4D chess with Dracula!

[stormphantomnightingale]

https://www.tumblr.com/dcxdpdabbles/737569117273456640/there-are-so-many-fics-out-there-where-danny-is?source=share

So after reading this ☝️for the who knows how many time, when an idea or something just popped out. Now we all know that in this magnificent fandom(dpxdc) that Amity is a no go area right? Well what if and I mean what if the Bats after talking with sad trenchcoat man(Yes I called John that and no I will not stop thank you very much) about Amity, Conny goes hesteria cause he outdated and stuff or just didn't know King Phantom but yeah starts talking about Pariah Dark(who is redeemed or just in the dog house cause he pissed of clockwork), ghost zone being dangerous etc etc.

Now this makes the bats assume even more that our space boi Danny is not safe. So what they do? After idk bribing the judge or somehow provide 'proof' of abuse which makes the Fenton's lose custody(Danny is not happy), takes Danny to Gotham(via knockout cause my boi will go feral), then returns back to amity as the furry squad. Do some hacking shit but since they don't know Fenton tech and Fenton thinking(I genuinely believe the Fenton's are Hella smart like Hella smart it might piss of Lex) and probably set up the self destruction system(TUE vibes).[which to normal people is the portal closing shut permanently,data is gone or encrypted by which a Fenton can access idk it's your choice person who decides to read and write or see this interesting].

Now we can make it that either one adult comes back alive or survived the blow due to being heavily ecto contaminated or be a ghost but I'm hoping Maddie (and Jazz) cause guys lets be honest here. Maddie is a beast when it comes to her family and kids, I can tell through canon wise she will literally go through hell, Tartarus, hell even throw hands with some ancients just for her kids. But anyways one Fenton comes back, teams up with Vlad(could be poly or good asshole uncle Vlad) along with the Elinor or Elizabeth(Yes Dani's other name is Elizabeth or Elinor) and Dante to try get Danny back.

Now to our boi we love, care Danny. So we have suspicious, angry and so many emotion Danny Fenton-Wayne. So we Danny who was practically taken away from his safety, his home, family, his friads and into another on in America. Now we can all agree that Danny is not happy about this and not because of the -whole taking me away from my family and no I'm not being in denial they love me so stop talking u ancient poorly dressed furries- It's about something much bigger and we all know, we hate it, despised it and we call it.... ANTI ECTO ACTS or as I like to call THE REBOOT WITCH TRIALS.

So that abomination there is something Danny hates,fears so him being in America puts him in bootleg men in black because of a bitch named Lex Luthor. It's like painting a bullseye on him, a huge ass arrow pointing at him with the signs 'Im a ghost in America come cut me up'. So yeah its bad for him especially when he finds out the Wayne's are sponsoring The furry squad and the justice league which in turn make things worse for him and the ghost zone cause the ghost(and other supernaturals cause u can't tell me, once a vampire or mermaid find out humans are now hunting ghosts they wont immediately assume they are next? Let's cause mass panic with the other supernaturals, witches having PTSD, they tweeking seeing the acts)are demanding blood, war, retribution from the living. So he is in emeny territory trying to survive, try get back to his family and try to calm the other ghost cause they thought he died to the explosion(yeah Danny won't be okay)but never came to the ghost zone so vengeance for the king.

Welp that what came up in mind, u can ignore it, or whatever just thought I share something with yall. But yeah basically for the last paragraph I want maybe the Justice League to either face backlash or punishment for agreeing with the law, cause in most fics we don't get to see what the ghost think or if they forgave em. Cause while the humans(idk why I'm calling people human when I'm human as well) think the Justice league was writing a wrong most will question if this won't happen again. I want the supernatural to actively be upset with them especially those from the magic committee, to question whether they should be trusted seeing as this was a retry of the Salem Witch Trials Era. And to exactly be wary and suspicious of Bruce or just genuinly not trust or like him cause guys let's be fucking honest here while yeah the bats is awesome we forgot one thing he is human flesh and bones, something so fragile in the eyes of all supernatural that they can accidentally squish him because they used to much strength or smth. And suddenly some supernaturals are scared of him? They fear him because of what? His paranoia, his contingencies? Nah that should be a warning cause logically and I mean logically can u tell me straight in my face that u trust this man while knowing he stalks you 30/7, goes through Ur personally stuff without permission btw, breaks in your house when u were at a wrong time, wrong place?? Have either his kids pretend y'all are buddies or your lover just to keep u on a leash?.

And if we are going to do the Lazarus Pits is ectoplasm, then the bats are done for especially Jason. Cause I can tell once the ghost found out the league agreed to the acts be lawful they won't help, cause why help the ones that tried to eradicate them?(how u may ask? Well it's simple, some soon to be fading corrupted ghost escaped when the portal first opened causing massive damage, some deaths etc and maybe the other reason maybe the citizens first cause of the negatives in the show, public enemy number 1 so forth). So the league after failing formed the GIW and soon left Amity thinking the people will be 'safe')

One note, would it be funny if the League of Shadows find out about the Acts and Lazarus pit being ectoplasm and just had straight to Amity for protection and probably swear loyalties to the ghost zone since the be liminal asf lonly to be stopped by Maddie and after some good ol' fashion Fenton style shenanigans, Maddie is either adopted to be the new Demon head or is the demon head??

So yeah that's what came to mind, so tell me what u think.

[f1orza]

Austrian GP thoughts, sorry if I'm not very articulate 🤓 just rambled really not proofread cause I'm busy

Do I think the collison was Max's fault? Yes. Do I think that the contact was inevitable and BOTH of their faults? Also yes.

Max shouldn't have moved during the breaking but they were both driving aggressive. They both wanted to be first, they both know what's it's like to be first and they won't settle for second now. I think in Lando's case he seen that if he wants to be first he has to try harder? Or that you actually have to be "agressive" to get onto that top step.

Do I think Lando was being childish? Yes. And I'm saying this as a McLaren fan.

Though I also think that any sport where you're fighting for first is inherently a bit childish. Might just be because I have siblings and we always used to fight over first place as kids 🤷🏽‍♀️idk

That doesn't justify Lando's response. Even when you're upset and running on adrenaline, you should be able to be handle your emotions I think. (I know as humans it can be hard) but if you're on live tv being broadcasted to millions of people...you should have a better handle on you're emotions; even if you feel you've been wronged, because no one will listen to you if you are acting like that. If you're levelheaded about it people are more likely to listen,(woman experience this all the time.) He needs to work on that and on taking responsibility as well, because the blame isn't 100% on Max.

That's one thing I can say about Max, I wasn't here for the "Mad Max" era but from videos and word of mouth, I can tell he's matured a lot and you can definitely see it. Max had every reason to be upset after this race (but not really), he had a good lead against Lando until RB's slow pit stop and then he went from first to fifth and some might say that's not bad, he still got points, and etc. That's not the point - his race was still affected but he did not go on live tv and speak badly on his friend.

They need to - like Max said - cool down and speak about it afterwards. I personally don't think it is worth ending a friendship with someone I considered a good friend but maybe they see it differently idk. It's something they need to talk about before the next race. And if they believe that it was worth losing a friend over, especially when they know this is situations that happen in racing then....

And I've seen a lot of people mentioning Lando still wouldn't have been first, even with the 5 sec penalty, he would'v been second with George being over 10 secs behind, I can understand why he believed Max ruined his race.

Some of y'all have a very bad habit of taking things fans do out on the drivers. If the FANS keep voting him DOTD that has nothing to do with him, if you want others to win then yall might need to vote more ig 🤷🏽‍♀️ and the chanting on the podium is again rude and nasty behavior but that again has nothing to do with Lando, I can promise you even if he would speak out it will not change anything, people will do what they want and what they feel they are entitled to do. I've seen it happen in so many fandom spaces, some people just don't care. Lewis has told people not to hate George after last race and I can guarantee that there is still people that do.

Now I've also seen people talking about Lando's attitude, I agree on some things and disagree on others. And this isn't me being a "Lando crazy fangirl" trying to justify his actions but I'm just telling it how I see it. So if you disagree okay, but do not start shit with me okay? 🙃 cause I know y'all like to fight around here 🤥

I think Lando feels stuck in that wasted potential. Where people having saying for years you have the potential to be a champion and even with all the hardwork you do, it doesn't feel like it's being shown. And especially as someone who went so long without a first win. Everyone's saying McLaren made a mistake by re-signing you or that your teammate is more deserving of the first seat. You feel like you're letting people down: you're team, family, fans and yourself. Not to mention all the hate you've been getting for NOT winning, then you'll definitely be in a bad headspace. And now that's he's won and KNOWS he can win, he'll want it all the more. He has the fastest car on the grid right now, he IS a good driver (contrary to what some of you believe), and he is a bit more optimistic than last year. Now that first is within his grasp, he's been hungry to get a second one. And I think he's been a bit overconfident about it, but that's honestly all drivers, I think if you are upset about Lando's ego but not other like Ocon than you dislike Lando for other reasons and are just finding excuses now. Even more so knowing he is second in the championship standings. Now that you know you're capable of being first you wouldn't want to settle for second, just like Max. Max constantly talks about not being there for second place but many of the other drivers feel that way, Lando is clearly one of them.

Do I think Max should have just let him go by? no. Because this IS racing and if you want to be first and become a champion you have to work for it. Max has never been the kind of guy to just let you pass him, not even for a friend. So Lando needs to understand that if he wants to keep fighting Max in the future. If you want to prove everyone right or wrong, only YOU can do that and by being overly eager and dangerous, well it clearly doesn't work in your favor 😭 (sorry lando 🤧). Only thing is you do is improve yourself and I'm not surprised that Max is a champion when he is always driving be it racing or sim. If your competitor's are doing a 100% you need to be doing 200%, that's the only way to get to the top.

[ciaossu-imagines]

Idk if you ever had this quesrion but---

The vongola guardians and any additional characters you want : ... How do they grief? After a small thing that happened, like loosing a precious item, then maybe something more upsetting like breaking up after a long time of being with someone up to actually losing a person to death. How do they cope? How do they handle life from then on out?

You dont have to answer but i thought this might be interesting to ponder

I don’t think I’ve ever had this question! It’s a little surprising, because it is such a really interesting, thought-provoking request! Thank you so much for sending it in and I hope I’ve done such an intriguing concept justice in my answers, that everything feels organic to the characters, and most importantly, that you lovelies all enjoy the headcanons 😊 Because this ended up being so long, I do need to make it into separate posts for Tumblr to allow me to post it, so the question will be answered along multiple days. And honestly, since this took me nearly four hours to answer and edit, I kind of like being able to get multiple queued posts for it, sorry!

Tsuna

Tsuna is someone who is actually a little prone to grief. His emotions tend to run deep, he gets attached to things and people pretty easily, and it hits him hard when things end, get lost, or stop being the same. While he knows change can be a positive thing, sees how change has helped his life be better, major changes will affect him emotionally quite badly, especially if that change is one that he did not want.

He’s not always the best at figuring out how to handle his emotions, even the positive ones, and that is something that is even harder for him to do when the emotions become larger and more profound. He struggles to wrap his head around feelings of grief and loss, what to do with those emotions, or how to properly move on from them. He finds it hard to start properly grieving. He doesn’t really know how to. He doesn’t let it be instinctual – he gets caught up in feeling like he should be grieving in this or that way and because of this, he often finds that his grief lasts longer, or that he feels like he’s got over something that made him grieve, only to find himself taking steps backwards and getting caught up in the grief again. He can sometimes take the view that grief is something that has all these properly laid-out steps and actions that you need to progress through to get completely cured of that grief, instead of something that is very personal and individual.

Now, Tsuna is someone who will definitely feel grief over small things. He does place sentimental value on objects. He’s someone who really does treasure things that were given to him by the people in his life. We see this in the charm from Kyoko that Tsuna gets really anxious about misplacing in canon. I think it’s this way for a lot of things – the first real birthday gift that Lambo and I-Pin got him with their allowance money or his favourite hoodie, the one his mother went out of her way to buy, even though it was stupidly expensive, just because he’d mentioned how badly he wanted it. I have always had this headcanon that Tsuna also collects pictures of him and the other Guardians and his other friends through the years and that those mean the world to him. He’ll cherish his first apartment.

When Tsuna loses one of those sentimental objects, he gets really upset about it. He gets anxious, unhappy, and he tends to immediately feel a lot of guilt about it. He defaults to blaming himself for whatever happened to those objects – he didn’t take good enough care of it obviously, it’s his fault for losing it, he really is no good. He takes losing something that was given to him really hard and he’ll drive himself a little crazy looking for it. He feels so bad about losing that thing and he fully expects whoever gave it to him to get really upset at him for misplacing it if he cannot find it. He is just that angry and upset at himself, after all.

An avid gamer, someone who loves reading manga, and someone who really gets into the tv shows he loves, Tsuna forms connections with fictional characters pretty easily. When his favourite characters die, he definitely gets sad and upset about it. He won’t cry about these little moments of grief, but he’ll feel crummy about it for several days. He’ll vent about it to friends and he’ll be upset. He might even stop watching the show or playing the game, feeling that everything’s been ruined about it now that it’s made him feel that emotional reaction.

For small things that make him grieve, like growing out of a favourite piece of clothing, leaving his house for the first time to live on his own or for moving on from his first adult apartment, the moments will be very bittersweet. On one hand, he knows that all life chapters have to end and that there are still many beautiful things to come, but at the same time, he finds himself quite sad. He finds himself remembering every single good moment spent in that thing or that place and he does get glassy eyed. He really relies on his friends and loved ones at these times to keep him positive and excited about the things to come, because without that, he could find himself wallowing in those sad moments instead of embracing the future.

Things that hit harder, that are more serious grief-inducing moments, hit Tsuna hard. To use the example of a break-up, Tsuna is really going to feel miserable. He’s really sad about everything and he definitely does cry about it, when he’s alone or at least thinks he is. He doesn’t want anyone else to catch him crying like a baby because of something like that, but at the same time, he can’t keep himself from needing that cry. Everything just feels bad and hopeless and like it will never be happy again.

A running theme, I think Tsuna’s first instinct, in the face of this kind of grief, is again to blame himself for whatever caused that grief. Even if it logically doesn’t make sense, even if others assure him that it wasn’t his fault, he still blames himself. He feels this distinct amount of guilt and pain about it. He makes himself shoulder all the blame for the situation, convinces himself that all the pain he’s feeling is because he failed in some way. He just wasn’t good enough to stop this from happening. There must have been something he did or something he didn’t do that caused this.

It isn’t a feeling that will just go away. There isn’t going to be a day when Tsuna just wakes up and has an epiphany that, no, this wasn’t my fault. I did everything I could. This person leaving me was on them and not on me. That’s not something that will happen to him. That grief will always be there in his brain, and he will always blame himself for the situation that caused the grief. It’s just that, with time, Tsuna will be able to push that grief and blame out of focus. He’ll be able to start coping with it, in his own way, and he’ll start being able to tune it out a little. He’ll go back to being able to live his life, though he won’t live it ever quite the same again. His life, his choices, his attitudes on things will change, even if they change by such a small degree that it’s barely noticeable to anyone besides Tsuna and those who know him best. He’ll learn to not think about the grief as much, with it really only popping up every now and then, when he’ll feel those emotions again just as strong as the day it happened. When he does feel those emotions, over and over again, he becomes better at pushing them away though instead of focusing them, with each time that wound is reopened.

Surprise, surprise, but that habit of blaming himself for situations that make him grief is also very much carried over to the large moments of grief. Those around him dying and leaving him behind makes him not only unbearably sad, but those moments fill him with so much anxiety, guilt, and regret that it’s almost unbearable. By the time those moments start happening, Tsuna has already been trained on how to continue on in his duties, despite the overwhelming waves of emotions that are washing over him, and he does his best for those left behind with him. Honestly, if it wasn’t for that act of needing to be there for those others left behind, if it wasn’t for needing to be strong for them, Tsuna would probably crumble a little in the wake of that amount of grief. He kind of does appreciate having them there, appreciate having something to concentrate on besides his grief, at moments. At other times, he feels burdened by them, though he would never admit it out loud, and feels resentful for not being able to have the choice to wall himself off from everyone and just let the grief run its course.

Someone he loves dying…it’s his fault, obviously. It’s because he either wasn’t strong enough to save them or because he exposed them to danger because of the life he was forced into. In the case of the person dying in a way that could not conceivably be his fault, such as dying from old age, it’s still his fault. It’s his fault he hadn’t expressed more how much he loved and cared about them. It’s his fault he didn’t thank them more for all the things they did for him. It’s his fault for not making every single second they were alive count – how many hours did he waste, for example, he would think when Iemitsu died, hating or being resentful towards his father? How long did he hold out on having any kind of relationship with his father? How many years were wasted in bitterness and hurt feelings instead of letting his father connect with him? There’s all these regrets, all these ‘what-ifs’ in the face of grief and they all feel like they’re about to drown Tsuna in their heaviness.

Much like with the smaller grieving, it’s not so much that Tsuna will come to grips with these thoughts. It’s not that he’ll forgive himself, not entirely. It’s more that, with time and with life continuing to go on, with the expectations on him to keep soldiering on, he learns to live without that person’s presence in his life. He learns to keep going. He learns to find happy moments again that aren’t overshadowed by thoughts of the person. He learns to tuck that person into his heart and his mind. He learns how to come out of the grief still intact, though changed forever by his regrets and sadness. There will be days, months, years he can go without thinking of them, but he’ll still have days, even years after that person’s death, where something will trigger that latent grief he hangs onto inside, and he’ll find himself needing to hide away and cry all over again.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for pretending I don’t hear my sibling

Im bad at words so here is the rundown

First of all, for the most part me and my sibling get along great.

My sibling has anger issues and takes it out on me. They’re also neuro divergent and my parents go (from my perspective, so this is probably skewed) way easier on them then they do me. At the slightest provocation they scream and cuss at me. They are really loud and aggressive when this happens and it makes me feel scared and upset.

I’ve told my parents how upset this makes me and they say they talk to my sibling but nothing changes, it keeps happening. I talk to my sibling and I think they try to alter their behaviour but either they don’t understand why I get upset or they forget or idk. It doesn’t work.

I and my sibling have both noticed my parents favour them in almost every single argument.

I’ve developed a tactic when they get like this of just pretending I can’t understand them. They will say something insulting and I will say “what was that? I couldnt hear you.” And when they repeat it I’ll say something similar and so on. It stops all the insults and the cussing and the yelling from getting to me, I guess because it makes me feel more in control, where usually I would get really really upset and like I had no support and felt really small. On the other hand, it pisses my sibling off and they get really worked up, which upsets both them and my parents.

My sibling has asked me to stop it, but I’ve asked them to stop swearing at me. I’ve said I only do it in response to when they insult me. I said “what am I supposed to do? Am I suppose to just let you insult me and swear at me? Do you want me to be hurt?” And they didn’t have an answer for that. I don’t want to be hurting them either, but they swear at me first, and I know if I respond in kind the argument usually escalates anyway.

They get really upset by it and really worked up, but I don’t want to stop because it’s the only way the arguments I don’t feel like shit afterwards. I don’t know what I would do instead. We’re both underage, but my parents seem to expect so much more emotional maturity from me and it’s exhausting and they let them get off the hook much easier. They say I should “be more mature” and “the bigger person,” but they don’t do anything when I explain how distressed the yelling at me is. I don’t know what to do.

What prompted this ask: I jokingly called my sibling a “dork,” and they said something back so I said “what was that? I can’t hear you,” and they screamed “fuck you!” At the top of their lungs. My father heard this and sided with them and told me they’re asking me to stop doing it, which I felt was really unfair and like I wasn’t being supported, but I also feel like I might be TA for doing it when I know it upsets my sibling. At the same time, they know screaming and cussing at me upsets me, and yet. It’s also crazy because he was so mad at me, but didn’t say anything to my sibling for screaming at me. So Idk.

What are these acronyms?

[necrotic-nephilim]

Jason and Helena teaming up and realizing they wanna kill different people so when Roy is like stopping Helena from doing something like a mercy killing someone innocent who in Helena’s view is magically/sci-fi corrupted by a vilian past the point of being saved Jason’s like YEAH Helena you’re a real scumbag and when Roy is holding Jason back from shooting a guy who was involved but mostly just in their way and definitely not the Big Bad Helena’s like you’re disgusting Jason even Roy thinks it. Idk why this turned into Roy having the leads of two backpack leashes in his hands

YEAH YOU GET IT. YOU UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE IN THEIR LETHAL JUSTICE VIEWS.

bc Helena is DEFINITELY a mercy killer. bc to her that is genuinely kindness for certain situations and she believes it's her job to do what heroes like Batman *won't* bc sometimes, it's the only way to bring someone peace. killing *is* kindness to Helena in some situations. and generally she's *not* going to go after lower level foot soldiers. bc they're just that, foot soldiers and there will always be more and most of them probably didn't choose to end up in this situation. when she kills, she tends to kill Big Names, people higher up whose deaths will make a difference.

as for Jason, he objectively views the actions of a person above who they are as a person. if they have done Bad Things, then they have done Bad Things there is no grey area to him. he has killed lower level ppl simply bc they did something he did not like or approve of. and for Helena, there's more nuance. so there'd be a deep level of clashing on certain aspects of who they think should be killed. just bc they're both pro-lethal justice does *not* mean it's in the same situations, which is the one thing i wish ppl understood about them when drawing comparisons.

also love them dragging Roy into it. their arguments will always lead to "well Roy agrees with me" bc sure, Roy *is* probably going to agree with not killing someone no matter who says it. he rlly does have two backpack leashes and he cannot leave either of them alone for too long bc someone will die. or they'll try to kill each other.

also interesting on the *very* rare occasion when Roy does want to commit lethal justice, bc he has been known to do so if something gets personal enough for him, how Helena and Jason react. Helena, who believes in lethal justice *because* of her "blood for blood, omerta" mentality would be supportive. and Jason, who believes Bruce should've killed the Joker, would also likely be supportive. sure, it's scary when Arsenal is holding back Huntress or Red Hood from killing. but it's somehow much scarier when Huntress and Red Hood are letting Arsenal kill someone bc that's how you know you *really* fucked up. them helping him through the aftermath of murder could be so fun too, bc he tends not to cope with it as well as they do, so it'd be a very complicated situation. i think sometimes they might kill someone *for* Roy, just so Roy doesn't have to deal with the emotional weight of doing it himself. which is always *so* fun.

[struggling-author]

Imagine a spy x family au of clark Kent (Superman) as yor forger and Bruce Wayne as Loid

lmao that actually works surprisingly well!

I am tempted to make this for WonderBat but I will resist

So Bruce is still Batman in this universe, but the villain he is currently after is Ra‘s al Ghul, who never shows his face in public except for at the private school his grandson attends.

Since he is also still Bruce Wayne, getting in won‘t be a problem but well… he needs a kid for that, and unfortunately he is fresh out.

Luckily, on the day Ra‘s trail leads him to the school, he runs into reporter Clark Kent who is writing a piece on Eden College. As they talk, Clark mentions how his son Jon dreamt of getting into the school, but unfortunately he couldn’t afford it, so immediately a plan forms in Bruce‘s head. He and Clark will pretend to be married so he can use his Wayne money and influence to get Jon in. Clark of course refuses because he can’t ask that of someone he just met - though in that very moment his super senses pick up on something, Bruce has been followed (he’s not as careful in this Universe I guess, bear with me I need this for the story lol) and a sniper is about to shoot him. Clark reacts on instinct throwing himself at Bruce, pushing him out of the way, then takes his hand to run into an alleyway. Some shots hit Clark but he is unaffected and Bruce pretends not to notice. The sniper catches up to them from the roof above, so Clark knowing nothing else to do takes a pebble and throws it with just the right speed to knock him out without killing him (assume this is possible, Idk). His excuse is:

„I used to be pebble throwing champion at the eagle scouts, I have a badge to prove it“ (he actually does lol)

Bruce is not an idiot and doesn’t buy it, but he seizes the opportunity to say that now after Clark saved him he is in his debt, so he will help his son get into the school. Clark still tries to interject, but Bruce stops him by pulling a clip from his pocket (usually used for grappling lol) and grabbing his hands.

„I swear to you, for saving my life, I will do everything in my power to get your son into Eden College, and until my debt is paid, I will be your husband and this ring shall represent my promise.“ as he puts the clip on the finger of a very flustered Clark.

And so it happens that Clark and Jon move into Wayne Manor and Bruce gets Jon into Eden, where Jon meets Damian and they become immediate rivals.

Shenanigans ensue as Bruce tries to get Jon closer to Damian without being too obvious, while also trying to figure out wtf is up with his new husband and adopted son because they are clearly not human and very bad at hiding it. He gets struck by Loid Forger loveblindness though, so he never makes the connection to Superman (who he knows exists but has probably never met) and over time he starts caring less and less about it because he has always wanted a family and it feels so good after being alone all his life and he doesn’t wanna ruin it it’s just for the mission anyway and Clark is clearly too good a person to be a threat so it doesn’t matter. Or maybe he figures it out immediately and spends the rest of the story pretending to ignore the blatantly obvious ways in which Clark reveals himself and nodding at all his ridiculous excuses. (I might prefer this one tbh 😆)

There‘ll probably also be an arc where Bruce learns Damian is actually his biological son and has an emotional crisis.

Clark spends all his time badly hiding his identity, all the while never realizing his partner is actually Batman, despite him sneaking out every night and coming back with bruises (he knows that from his powers but he thinks it’s not his business what Bruce does in his private time, so he tries not to think about it)

So both still go on their superhero missions and if you want they can meet as heroes too and then you basically get Miraculous Ladybug lol

Maybe they also adopt Krypto for Jon.

Oh and I‘m imagining Lois died at some point when Jon was still very young, so him and Bruce really bond over that and Bruce remembers the reason for his mission, so that no child would ever have to lose their parents again (which gets complicated as he still fully plans to leave them once he has captured Ra‘s)

Franky is Alfred btw so Jon still gets a cool Uncle.

Maybe there is also a subplot where Clark spends his whole time fending off enemies trying to attack his completely normal civilian husband (how weird of them, right?) because the sniper managed to escape and leaked his identity. Luckily most his villains don’t believe such a ridiculous conspiracy theory (I mean spoiled billionaire Bruce Wayne as Batman? how laughable!) so only some local gangs come after him.

That’s all I got for now, feel free to add on lol and thanks for the ask.

[hollowwish]

I like playing around with how much each lifer remembers per game and I think my favorite version is our 5 Evo players all remembering Evo. Like it doesn't impact how they play the games that much but sometimes it slips through.

The other four can tell what's going on with Marytn in Last Life just by the way he acts. They all look at the symbol on the secret keeper with the same kind of emotion only they can understand. Bigb and Pearl's "always watching" bit was born because of it and maybe served as a small inside joke. All 5 of them have weird feelings about the End. Grian is making fun (/lh) of Martyn and Jimmy this season and calling them the PP again. Stuff like that you know? The little things.

This last one is more my personal headcanon territory but I also like to think during double life Martyn had moments of being really protective of Pearl? Idk when everyone realized what the loneliness was doing to her (and were subsequently horrified by it) he felt bad for being one of the 3 to leave her and tried to make up for it in his own way? Which may or may not include being rude to their soulmates on her behalf. And going to hang out at her tower and pet the dogs and tell Ren to stop calling her a demon. Because whatever might be going on with them they both still remember Evo, a time where they were friends, and it hurts to see an old friend hurting

[heaven4lostgirls]

As much as I want to believe that it isn't my fault... I just can't seem to bring myself to do it.... like somehow... a part of me... a part of my childhood... a part of my mind that still believed One Direction would be back, died along with Liam... and hell, I'd not even want a reunion, if I can somehow bring him back to life... and on the other hand... I've been so out of touch with what's going on with the boys, that all these allegations on him... that too after he passed... it's tearing my mind apart... I want to tell myself that that wasn't the Payno we knew... the Payno I grew up listening to... the one who could bring a smile on anyone's face.... the dance master Leeroy... the one afraid of fucking spoons, ridiculous, isn't it..? the silliness... the person himself.... I'm not willing to believe that he... he got so bad... that everyone let it get so bad... that somehow I was a part of it too... idk... can't stop that nagging feeling....

As a fan of Justin Bieber AND One Direction, I'm truly scared for what might happen to Justin now... the Biebers have a son... I don't want to, can't, lose another of my favourite artists.... he was on the pedestal since a young age too, and has been through similar shot.... and I'm terrified.... (sorry for the side track)

Now AFTER his death when I learn about him being an abuser and how MUCH people bash him and be unempathetic about it.... I hate myself for even considering stopping supporting him and mourning him... honestly, that thought crossed my m mind... I went... "Am I mourning the wrong person..? Should I be happy that an abuser d¡ed... or sad that he was Liam.... or surprised that Liam could even do that, or empathize with him that it was his coping mechanism.... but it isn't good... but he was good... but he isn't..." and that feeling summed up in a few words beautifully goes like.... "I'm mourning a person who was a part and parcel of my inner child that didn't heal.... but that doesn't mean my older self blindsides his wrongdoings... I'm mourning what Liam was to me... and how his life had become.... also while sympathy with the victim.... who somehow ALSO lost someone MUCH MUCH more important.... her son's father..."

I'll come in with another ask to continue, also I fell asleep (with a lot of struggle) so sorry for the late reply... (sorry if I'm bugging you...)

it’s okay not to believe that it’s not your fault, there will be people out there to remind you, and with time i think you’ll start to understand that it’s not.

emotions are tricky, because your grief is so raw everything feels magnified. in time, and with healing you’ll be able to see the bigger picture.

don’t worry about it right now, feeling your emotions is so good for understanding yourself. it helps you process your grief.

there’s so many things about grief that doesn’t make sense. wanting liam alive doesn’t make you a bad person, there are millions of people on this earth that wish they could’ve changed his fate.

just because liam was an abuser does not make him any less worth being mourned. there are people out there that have done worse, that are alive and they still have huge fandoms and people that listen to their music.

and i understand the piece of you that died when liam did, i think a lot of directioners can understand that feeling. there is no one direction without all of the boys.

them losing liam was us losing one direction really, and that leaves a big hole within our childhoods and within a lot of our primitive teenage years.

as for justin, i’m not really in his fandom but i do enjoy his music. and i can empathize with your fear. justin’s clean from my understanding, and has been since he’s been married to hailey.

your fears aren’t entirely unfounded but i do think that it’s better not to work yourself over possibilities of what could happen if he relapses. it does nobody any good, especially you.

it sounds easier said than done but justin is the only one who has control over his own life, we need to let him make his own decisions like we did with liam.

we can’t control him, that can only lead to negative outcomes. he knows himself better than anyone else in his life and deserves the right to have his fans and people around him believe that he’ll make the right choices.

it doesn’t make you a bad person to have conflicting feelings about liam’s passing. i did, i didn’t mourn him really at all in the first 24hrs of hearing he passed.

my friends aren’t fans of one direction/liam so they were very much more objective about liam’s passing than i thought i could be.

i thought i had to react a certain way, i didn’t have any right to be sad because i didn’t know him, and he was an abuser.

that’s wrong, you’re entitled to feel however you want to feel. mourn him if you want, don’t if you don’t. it really is that simple.

you don’t have control over how other people react so there will be people out there that are less emotionally attached than fans are, but that doesn’t make your pain any less valid.

it’s okay to be conflicted, liam was a huge part of you. and yes, exactly. mourning liam does not discredit any of the abuse that maya went through.

don’t worry about bugging me, you’re always welcome!! or falling asleep! i just woke up so if you don’t mind me replying 6hrs later then we’re all good 🫂.