#things my girlfriend actually said

[moonsinkfoxgirl]

trans girl scooping out the insides of a pumpkin for a jack o lantern: this is like giving somebody a hysterectomy

[inkskinned]

the problem is that being single is seen as the consolidation prize, and not the natural neutral state of being-a-person. at the end of the movie or the book or the poetry, there is a person waiting for you at the altar, and they love you. if the play is a comedy, everyone gets married. the metaphor is about how you are not-whole. the metaphor is about how everyone is going to be happily-ever-after. the metaphor is that romantic love is the most important resource on the planet, not just all-love. all-love is not a thing, that is a disappointment. the treasure is not the friends we made along the way. the treasure is the girl you landed.

the metaphor is that you cannot be alone, that means you are broken. are you getting over someone? that is acceptable, you can be getting over someone, but not for long. you must be single because you would rather not be single. you must be single and looking to not-be-single. you must want to date, eventually.

friendship and community are never seen as being equal-to or even-better than romantic connection. that person is your one! you need to find them. you need to hunt through the sand particles until you can shift out some kind of gem. this is regardless to your own experience of the beach and the sun. you need to be somewhere with someone.

if you are taking this time alone to heal, that is so sad. everyone gives you this little pitying look. the understanding is that you are not actually happier than you were before you were single. it is seen as a sort of pity - oh, you are choosing yourself, making yourself the priority? - that isn't quite right. you must mean that you are making yourself ready for the right person. you are just laying the bed better this time. open up your heart. you'll find them, we promise!

what do you mean you're really-truly genuinely-very happy? you are probably misremembering what it was like to be in a relationship. and besides, once you meet your person, that time will look grey and bland and wasted. your person is the only way for you to see in color. so what if you have taken this time - for the first time in your entire life - to actually-for-real do the fucking work. you can be proud of yourself, sure. but the way we need to know that you got better is that you get a partner. you're healed enough for the next bad part!

people don't choose to be single, they just say they're choosing to be single - they actually mean "nobody wants to date me." it doesn't matter how many people you have gently rejected or how many times you've talked it over carefully in therapy. what matters is that you are single, and by all accounts - that means you are something worth our pity. your successes and life all seem pale in the sunlight. sure, you have done amazing things and finally found your way in life. what matters is that there wasn't a person in the room with you while you did it.

you want to tell them - that's the whole thing. i didn't know how to be alone in the room. i didn't know how to handle the silence. every moment was so sharp, and i kept choosing the wrong way to close the door. i have spent my entire life in the empty well, living in the ricochet of someone else's cruelty. for once i have built myself a ladder. for once everything i taste is all mine, every bite of sunshine and laughter. i have learned how to sleep out in the open with my memories. recently, they have started to purr.

your father rolls his eyes. listen. this isn't about you. i just want a grandchild in my future.

[venice-1987]

As much as I would enjoy a kiss at their reunion, I do think the dragon prince crew would do something softer when (not if <-clown emoji) Sorvus is made canon. I'm picturing Corvus and Ezran and Callum arriving at the castle like in the promo image, them checking up with Opeli and she reveals everything is fine.

But Corvus asks about Soren. "Where is he?" he asks, his mind already wandering to the possibility that Soren...hadn't made it out. He will himself to remain strong for his king, but his body fills with dread. Thankfully, Opeli points him to the river.

There, Soren sits on the banks. Corvus sits beside him, noticing the same pained look in his eyes that he had seen on the ramparts the day Soren asked him to become a crownguard. Now, that same pain encompassed how he sat, how he stared mournfully into the waters.

Corvus asks is he is alright, and Soren can't even answer, holding back what emotion he can to maintain his cheerful attitude. He is failing miserably. Something more terrible than the Storm Spire must have happened. Something worse than Katolis burning down.

Corvus lays his hand over Soren's on the rock. Soren looks from it to Corvus, then shifts so that he can hold Corvus's hand back.

Like Janai and Amaya, its a confirmation.

and, of course, at the end of arc 2 or start of arc 3 (affirm affrim, manifest manifest, like to charge reblog to cast) then we get a kiss, teehee

[sugaroto]

My pappous remembered that time we made that deal that I would get married by 25

You guys are all invited to my wedding on 2030

[autumnalmess]

Grantaire: You're not the only thing I think about...I also think about yoghurt sometimes.

[neolxzr]

you do see my point though, I was saying that yes a piece of media can have a character imply they are queer, but it’s frustrating when they won’t explicitly confirm such, because of (in the case of… checks app store purchase statistics…. A multi million dollar game franchise!) the need to market to as many people as possible. Shumika will never be “canon” because some people just don’t like shumika and won’t spend money on the game if shu and mika are in a relationship, whether or not that’s because they like the ship or the characters or are genuinely homophobic or whatnot. If the writing team cared about telling a love story, they would tell a love story, not go “well maybe they’re in love, it’s up to viewer interpretation!” like this works, sometimes it adds to the meaning of the work, but enstars really doesn’t have an excuse for their constant “this character might have feelings for this other character, but we’ll never have them say it out loud!” except the fact it makes them a lot of money, since they can market to people who like a character being the way they want that character to be, whether that’s with that character being in love with another in game character or self-shipping or whatever else. Outside of shipping, this is why some characters like Shinobu haven’t changed despite wanting to change (he continuously talks about how he wants to be more mature and taken seriously but his cards continue to make him look small and cute because his fans like that about him and god forbid we change anything!) I just think enstars should not be your first thought when someone asks you about a good piece of queer media because they’re doing just about the same job as large cast games with characters of the same gender (minus Arashi) who continue to have characters go “we’ll do all these things to imply we could be in love, but we’ll never have our characters actually date! teehee!”

i can understand being frustrated about your ships not being "confirmed", but the obsession with what is "canon" and "not canon" is just straight up not a very interesting discussion to have. what happyele's or the writers' agenda is is not of particular importance to me. one of the first things they teach you in classes about media analysis is that once a work is out there, the intentions of the creator no longer matter. the only thing that matters in your analysis is your own thoughts and the way you interpret a text.

if we were having a conversation about how much the creator of something sucks, then sure, talk about that all you want, but i am specifically referring to discussions about the piece of media and these characters and their relationships and their growth and the themes of the work etc. those things are removed from whether or not the company writes the way they do because of profit motives or whatever. companies make money, that's just what to expect. if you want art that is free of profit motives, read something by an independent creator.

even so, it feels strange to place enstars into the bucket of "stuff that should be gayer but the bad company that makes it wont let it be" because the characters ARE so very openly queer. there are so many instances in it where characters pour their heart out to each other or offer themselves to another character in beautiful and poetic ways, and i think it's wrong to claim it doesn't count because they didn't confirm their relationship status at the end of it. if you ask me, there is absolutely no way to interpret enstars in a way completely free of queerness. there is so much explicitly queer text that ignoring it is just plain incorrect. but, if homophobic people like this game and choose to look the other way at all of the gay shit, again, that is not my problem.

why is canonization the only thing that matters? is a shitty BL with awful writing better and more worthwhile than enstars as a queer narrative because the characters had explicit gay sex on screen? are poorly written gay characters in the background of other media with nothing going on more worth talking about than shumika or wataei or rinniki or whoever else just because they say the words 'i'm gay' out loud?

queerness is so much more than all of that. it is so much more than labels and it is so much more than relationships that are easy to understand. it is so much more than the extremely narrow view of it that the internet has concocted about it over the last few years, where you’re only allowed to talk about queerness if you yourself are openly queer and out of the closet, and even then you’re only allowed to make art that makes for “good representation.” that is just so incredibly limiting. i would rather tons of companies who are trying to profit off fujoshis make vaguely gay media with unconfirmed romances and relationships that aren't easily defined by labels than have less queer art in the world.

more queer art means more queer people who will find something to really connect to. more queer art means telling more queer stories. why should who is allowed to write lgbtq media be limited? why should the kind of media people are allowed to make be limited?

its fine to criticize happyelements if youre unsatisfied with the way they do things, im not always 100% in love with everything they do either. i wouldn't even consider enstars to be the worlds' best example of a queer piece of media. but no one is forcing you to like or engage with it or give the company money if you're unhappy with how they write and market their game. they don't owe anyone explicit confirmation that any of their characters are dating, and it doesn't even matter if they do provide that confirmation or not.

regardless of who made it or for what reason, queer stories are worth talking about, "canon" or not.

[little-whats-her-name]

"I can't hear you over the sound of the eight billion glasses and plates clinking, and the very high possibility that I'm going to lose my job, and the fact that everyone at this charity dinner hates me but we have to act nice to each other, and the weird lighting in this room, and these fucking Spanx!" - Katherine Hastings, probably

[chemicalarospec]

I feel like I've only learned half of what the aplatonic community has to teach me and it's already been life changing. Aplatonics "do it alone" like nobody else: Do it alone, and don't hope for anyone to join you. Do it alone, because you enjoy being alone. Do it alone by choice.

They take "self-partnered" to the next level -- sometimes it reminds me of autoromantic/sexual self-relationships, extending it to platonic connection -- you can be your own best friend as well as your own partner.

They taught me the idea of aros "replacing with their friendships" is wrong and toxic; you DON'T have to elevate your friendships if you're unpartnered/a non-parterning aroace if you don't want to. Whoever you are, it's okay if your friends don't mean the world to you.

At the dance I went to, they played a slow song and I didn't get off the dance floor. (Another, separate shoutout here to my youtuber classmate who made a video about going to prom alone, including slow dancing by herself.) I saw a group of three friends holding hands -- I wondered for a second if I should move near them, but I didn't need other people's friends to validate me; we were all already complete as we were, and alike in our subversion of the slow dance. Near the end of the song, someone from the extended friendgroup approached me, asking if I wanted to dance -- I think worrying I was lonely and wanted to dance with someone --, and I was confused for a second about why she was interrupting my dance, why she thought that was necessary.

That was the moment I realized that the aplatonic community and its ideas had changed my life. <2 thank you guys so much

[boldlychristina]

after experiencing multiple false alarms w joe im not gonna get my hopes up for a tayvis engagement until i see a ring w my own eyes (but if they do get engaged good for them obviously)

[unopenablebox]

🌸 is so immensely likeable.... do you ever just like someone so much all the time

[mxwhore]

mutuals. i am getting caught in my own bitterness again...

[dimensionzero]

the funny thing about stranger things season one is that they really build up the idea that steve harrington is a POPULAR JOCK which means that he's a SELFISH DOUCHEBAG BULLY who's USING nancy for SEX and DOESNT CARE that people are DYING and then steve actually shows up and hes just like a regular guy

[nervocat]

omg this day might turn out to be so good actually

[coquelicoq]

just read a (really funny) maupassant story (mots d'amour) which includes the line

Un mot brutal, parfois, fait merveille, fouette la chair, fait bondir le cœur. Ceux-là sont permis aux heures de combat. Celui de Cambronne n'est-il pas sublime? Rien ne choque qui vient à temps.

and i was like oh wait so victor hugo didn't make that up? and apparently he didn't, but he did popularize it. also "le mot de Cambronne" is now a euphemism for "merde". the more you know.

[keeps-ache]

got described as looking like a 'canadian lumberjack physicist' by my brother so. does anybody need an artist

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

i do think the jealousy in school reunion is really interesting i think thats a really fun part of the doctor companion dynamic to explore, what makes me roll my eyes is the we're both in love with him "the missus and the ex" thing

but like the jealousy thing on its own? just the flipside of the making people feel special thing that we explored a bit with 12. the doctor does single people out, does make them feel special, their attention is like a fucking spotlight who would be immune to that warmth

but the other side of that then is like, was it their attention that made me special? was it their companionship that made me special? thinking of donna going travelling "it's all bus trips and guidebooks and dont drink the water and two weeks later youre back home" like sure thats comparing what the trips are like but like, that also describes sort of like, who you get to be on those trips right? a tourist vs a hero

thinking of yaz in combat magicks being like "yaz liked wearing her uniform because it marked her out as someone who belonged anywhere. ready to help, and with the right to intervene. the doctor just breezed in and made the whole universe her business, like she was born to it, and yaz longed for that confidence." thats sort of what being the doctor's plus one gives you, right? access to everywhere, without consequences, except maybe your own death but the doctor makes you feel invincible too so you dont worry about that

so sure there would be jealousy but i think making it into an ex-girlfriend kinda jealousy flattens it? "in amongst 7 billion theres someone like you" and then you get to save planets. you become a part of the doctor's hero complex. you get to see beautiful amazing things but you also get to prove yourself a hero every day. thinking of rose "the doctor showed me a better way of living your life. you dont just give up. you have the guts to do whats right when everyone else just runs away" you get to feel powerful. you get a lot of agency where in your daily life you probably dont have a lot. thats what the doctor gives to those handful of the seven billion. so what if they take it away?

thinking of clara asking "why me?" and sarah jane "did i do something wrong?" why did i get this opportunity. and why was it taken away. was it anything i did? and if it wasnt, then doesnt that undermine all that agency you made me feel like i had? can i do this on my own too? and of course lots of companions prove they can, they dont need the doctor to be who they are but idk. i think it would still be kinda insecure-making when youre still with the doctor. when youre still in the middle of it like rose in school reunion. when you dont know yet what After will look like

and this is something the fam doesnt have to deal with i think. because they came to the doctor. they werent picked, they werent offered, they asked. they dont have to wonder 'why did you pick me'. which im kinda relieved about especially thinking about yaz? imagine having to wonder 'was i a friend of convenience' on top of everything else. oof.

and another thing is that of course for the doctor the rejection hurts just as much. when a companion says no thank you, your way of life doesnt seem that fun to me (anymore)

anyway so uh tldr i guess the jealousy thing is interesting but making it a romantic jealousy is not whats interesting about it