#at least when youve been the doctor to all us dw fans youre forever the doctor

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

i do think the jealousy in school reunion is really interesting i think thats a really fun part of the doctor companion dynamic to explore, what makes me roll my eyes is the we're both in love with him "the missus and the ex" thing

but like the jealousy thing on its own? just the flipside of the making people feel special thing that we explored a bit with 12. the doctor does single people out, does make them feel special, their attention is like a fucking spotlight who would be immune to that warmth

but the other side of that then is like, was it their attention that made me special? was it their companionship that made me special? thinking of donna going travelling "it's all bus trips and guidebooks and dont drink the water and two weeks later youre back home" like sure thats comparing what the trips are like but like, that also describes sort of like, who you get to be on those trips right? a tourist vs a hero

thinking of yaz in combat magicks being like "yaz liked wearing her uniform because it marked her out as someone who belonged anywhere. ready to help, and with the right to intervene. the doctor just breezed in and made the whole universe her business, like she was born to it, and yaz longed for that confidence." thats sort of what being the doctor's plus one gives you, right? access to everywhere, without consequences, except maybe your own death but the doctor makes you feel invincible too so you dont worry about that

so sure there would be jealousy but i think making it into an ex-girlfriend kinda jealousy flattens it? "in amongst 7 billion theres someone like you" and then you get to save planets. you become a part of the doctor's hero complex. you get to see beautiful amazing things but you also get to prove yourself a hero every day. thinking of rose "the doctor showed me a better way of living your life. you dont just give up. you have the guts to do whats right when everyone else just runs away" you get to feel powerful. you get a lot of agency where in your daily life you probably dont have a lot. thats what the doctor gives to those handful of the seven billion. so what if they take it away?

thinking of clara asking "why me?" and sarah jane "did i do something wrong?" why did i get this opportunity. and why was it taken away. was it anything i did? and if it wasnt, then doesnt that undermine all that agency you made me feel like i had? can i do this on my own too? and of course lots of companions prove they can, they dont need the doctor to be who they are but idk. i think it would still be kinda insecure-making when youre still with the doctor. when youre still in the middle of it like rose in school reunion. when you dont know yet what After will look like

and this is something the fam doesnt have to deal with i think. because they came to the doctor. they werent picked, they werent offered, they asked. they dont have to wonder 'why did you pick me'. which im kinda relieved about especially thinking about yaz? imagine having to wonder 'was i a friend of convenience' on top of everything else. oof.

and another thing is that of course for the doctor the rejection hurts just as much. when a companion says no thank you, your way of life doesnt seem that fun to me (anymore)

anyway so uh tldr i guess the jealousy thing is interesting but making it a romantic jealousy is not whats interesting about it