#they're gay by th e way.

[wowwforever]

POKEMON EVIL TEAMS RANKED BY HOW LIKELY I WOULD BE TO JOIN THEM

Team Flare

I'm not wearing that suit and I'm not changing my hair. Lysandre is easily the fucking dumbest antagonist and if their plan is successful either they're immortal and I have to live with these losers forever or the whole world dies and I have to live with these losers until I die.

Team Yell

This entire team is centered around having a parasocial relationship with a teenage girl. Also British.

Team Galactic

Similar horrible haircut, bad outfit, and death cult scenario to Team Flare. At least they're like a semi-actual company. I could maybe just go bald and get a regular job after the Poke-government liquidates Team Galactic LLC. But I legitimately think this would be the least fun evil company to work at. Imagine stealing some kids Pokemon but you get chewed out by fucking Galactic Admin Uranus because you forgot to fill out the Paperwork.

The Lame Part of Team Plasma

Okay so to clarify these are the people that actually believe in the Team Plasma shit, which means I'd probably be spit on in the streets while wearing chainmail in New York. Why the fuck would I wear Chain Mail on the East Coast? Do you know how much rust there is? Also I have to become a ginger and worship some green manchild as a monarch. At least they're not a death cult.

Team Rocket

This one is just being a criminal. Like, yeah, you get to steal Pokemon but there's no real advantages except the free gray boots. Probably does not pay well and Giovanni leaving kind of sent them spiraling. Plus they have a lot of Koffings in an underground base so you know there's like lung damage galore. The R stands for Respiratory Distress.

Team Aqua

I don't like the idea of being surrounded by the ocean and I do not like boats and submarines. I would actively join this to sabotage their plan. Also every other evil team has an actual place to put their Pokeballs but this one it seems like the plan is to just shove it in my underwear? ???

Team Star

I haven't actually played Scarlet and Violet because I recently learned I can legally drink. I think this one is the equivalent of a school club? So I'm not actually getting paid to do evil shit. I'd probably just join, like, DnD club or something.

Team Rainbow Rocket

I'd join this one just because I know it's going to fail. I mean, it's got like four people who explicitly just want to end the world in different ways. I'm just gonna join and steal pens and shit until it eventually crashes in on itself for infighting. I'd wear my gay-ass R shirt every june in line with a P, I, D, and E.

The Cool Part of Team Plasma

Fuck yeah. This is the Team Plasma that knows the shit Ghetsis is up to. I'd love to be in on the scheme, plus I don't have to wear chainmail. Downside is I'd probably get murdered or have to murder to stay in, and they have the biggest shot of accomplishing their goal. But Ghetsis is hot so that's a plus.

Team Magma

This one is because there's 0.0% chance this plan will work but I get to just hang out in these cute-ass hoodies and pet camerupts all day. Look at that outfit, I'd wear that all the time. That being said, would probably have to be a field guy. Their location is in a volcano. I'm gonna get a call that says 'Hey all of Team Magma's leadership died' and I'd have to get a job at like Poke7-11 with a major gap in my resume.

Macro Cosmos

This hardly counts as a villain team because they're just, like, security guards for a company whose CEO goes a lil nuts. This is like if you worked for Virgin Atlantic and Richard Branson decided to summon Satan. No one can really put that on you. You'd probably get paid ridiculous amounts of money for essentially doing nothing. Con is you'd have to live in Galar.

Aether Foundation

Working for the Aether Foundation is like doing an internship at Bell Labs or whatever. The evil shit is probably fixed by the end of the game and I could just go back to researching Rotom electromagnetic applications and have that 'week where we tried to fuck up reality' be a weird company thing we brush under the rug. The con is they have all white outfits so I can't eat spaghetti at work. But even if I left I could probably just use Aether Foundation as a decent enough jumping off point for any career.

Team Skull

Genuinely this is just goofing off with a bunch of scummy weirdos. I can respect that and their outfits are thankfully not skin-tight jumpsuits, but main I'd join because they all kind of suck. With the most moderate competency I could run Team Skull. Also Guzma. He's pretty hot.

[drownedinlavender]

Chaos Victor, my beloved, I had this particular scene for this fic written since FOREVER AGO!! It was one of the first pieces I wrote, I am SO glad I finally got to it in my story 😭😭

Excerpt from Chapter 12 of Be Nice to Me featuring Butters being Victor Chaos:

“Hey, guys,” Cartman reaches over to sit in between Kenny and Leopold when suddenly, both Clyde and Craig block him.

“Woah, dude, hold up,” Clyde warns.

“Yeah, man, trust me, you do not want to do that,” Craig slowly shakes his head no.

“Here, man, sit here,” Clyde scooches over, making some room between himself and Leopold.

“Uuuh,” he skeptically looks around, confused, but ultimately concedes, “yeah, sure.” He takes a seat and asks, “Soooo… what the fuck was that?”

Kyle sits across from him.

“It’s a long story,” Craig dismisses, getting back to his lunch.

“I guess we should catch him up to speed on it, huh?” Leopold suggests.

“On what?” Cartman arches an eyebrow.

"Well, for one thing, Leo," Kyle pointedly sends a glare at the seemingly innocent blonde's direction, Leo shrinks a bit at the stare. He nervously laughs while Kyle continues, "got really into crypto. So into it, in fact, that he ended up making his own coin. The buttcoin."

Kenny giggles at the name. It gets him everytime.

"E-everyone in town kept i-investing in it. It became quite the b-bi-b-bi-big ordeal," Jimmy adds.

"Our idiot parents even got seriously crippling loans to buy into it," Stan scoffs, recalling the stupidity of his father and the disappointment of his mother.

"Mine put out a loan on our car and house." Clyde dejectedly frowns.

"Mine their mansion," Tolkien sighs.

"All of them did, th-they're all m-mm-m-morons," Jimmy quips.

"We were all gonna end up homeless thanks to Leo," Craig blankly points.

Cartman’s eyes widen. “Holy shit, really?” He’s honestly impressed. He didn’t know Butters had it in him.

"Aw, I said I was real sorry, fellas." He meekly looks down at his knuckles, tapping them together.

"Kenny even threatened to tell his parents he was Victor Chaos, the guy that made Buttcoin, but his parents were happy to find out their kid was a billionaire and didn't ground him for it," Stan adds.

"We had to hire Bitcoin scammers from Russia to hack into Leo's account and return everyone's money," Kyle summarizes.

"Yeah and he got hella grounded after that," Clyde laughs while pointing at Leopold.

"Yeah," Leo looks down, "my parents were awful sore with me."

"Pfft, no way dude, that's so weak," Cartman taunts, but then wonders, “okay, but how does that have anything to do with what just happened?”

"So before that Kenny had this whole big fight with him, right?” Clyde keeps going.

Kenny avoids eye contact, still embarrassed about what happened.

“He threatened that he wouldn't be his friend anymore if he kept selling Buttcoin, and the Asian girls saw it and drew a bunch of dramatic yaoi art about it.”

"Yeah, my parents were real upset about me being gay when they found out," Leo pouts.

"My dad wasn't too happy about it either …" Kenny mutters, his eyes seemingly pensive.

"Yeah but then everyone started giving him money and he became pretty pushy about it," Stan reminds him. Kenny looks down at his food, seemingly deep in thought.

"Leo's dad sent him away to some anti-gay all boy boarding school again and Kenny felt kinda guilty so we decided to help break him out. Apparently, the boarding place was experimenting on kids, trying to make them all super powered gays to use in the army or something. We let one out and they blew the place up," Kyle nonchalantly explains.

"Yeah, kind of a dick move to not wait until we were fully out. I mean, we did save him after all," Stan fusses, still miffed about it.

"How did we survive the blast again?" Leopold tries to remember but for the life of him can’t.

"I shielded you guys…" Kenny answers under his breath, barely audible, his chin resting on the palm of his hand.

"What was that, Ken?" Leo asks.

“Actually, Kenny, where did you go after the explosion? I can't remember,” Kyle curiously asks.

Kenny takes a deep breath in before letting it out, centering himself. "I was just knocked out for a bit," he lies.

“You were?” Stan questions, still unable to properly remember.

“I'm here now so it doesn't matter, continue on with what happened,” he motions with his hand to continue, seemingly not in the best of moods.

“Huh, well,” Stan notices but decides it’s best to drop it and keep telling the story, “Leopold’s dad was just happy to see his son alive and decided to accept him no matter how gay he was.”

"Which I'm not! The stupid Asian girls made me," Butters protests with a huff.

"Now you know how we felt," Craig says.

"Yeah, but you guys are, like, actually a thing now so…" Stan gestures at the two.

"Yeah, you can't complain, I mean, look at you," Tolkien points at Craig who has his arm around Tweek while Tweek's resting his head on top of his shoulder.

"W-well, that may be true, but we can still complain about how it happened!" Tweek tugs on his crew neck.

"But Kenny loves tits… and pussy! Like, to an unhealthy extent," Cartman stares at the two blonds, dumbfounded at the turns of events that took place in his absence.

Kenny shrugs, simply continuing to eat his lunch.

“.... My dad did tell me that everyone’s at least a little bit gay once,” Stan states, glancing a bit at Tolkien while speaking.

“Yeah but your dad’s dumb as fuck, dude,” Kyle casually remarks.

“Hey, he can be right sometimes! … On occasion,” Stan looks down at his lunch tray, not fully believing what he’s saying himself.

“Yeah, I think my dad said that once, too,” Tolkien tries to casually agree, also averting eye contact.

Stan lightly blushes.

“No, you guys are just f-f-fa-fa-fags,” Jimmy smiles.

_______

I really used the whole ass roster for this one lmaoo ����💀 I love writing when all the main kids are together

[happypotato48]

Cherry Magic TH: The Dreaded Big 3 0, The V Card, And L O V E.

disclaimer: this post gonna draw a lot from my personal experience. buckle up ya'll, this gonna get cringe and sappy.

Soooooooooooooooo, i'm a gay man who still a virgin and will turn 30 this year. i swear to satan if i'm not getting a magic power on my birthday i'm gonna be so mad.

now let me gush over how much cherry magic th work so much better for me as a show about a 30 virgin than the jp version. as much as i loved the jp version there is something undeniably frustrated about how that show depicted intimacy to me, i even joke tweeted when i finished it and a couple other jp bls that i want to fly to japan and suplex someone who won't show these gays kisses.

i view cherry magic as a story about someone who is scared and reluctant about love and intimacy because he stuck in his way of thinking, of how he undeserving of love just cause he view himself lesser than peers his age. so when the jp version barely showed adachi and kurosawa being intimate even in the movie after they worked and grew so much to love each other. it left sour taste in my mouth on a show i love dearly, and then come achi and karan, the kiss on the rooftop, the bed scene that left me breathless. this is how you do it!

as someone who only been romantically intimate with one person in my entire life and still have some aversion to physical intimacy. i imagine when i met and work hard to love and be with someone. i would behave like achi, scare as hell but will do anything to show the person i love how much they're meant to me.

there's two sayings that come to my mind when i watch this show. first "only when you start loving yourself that you'll be able to love others." and "when others start loving you that when you learn to love yourself." i don't think either of these phrases are right or wrong. maybe achi start to changed himself after he received external love from karan, but i think that changing yourself is an act of love to those around you and especially to yourself. achi changed because he acknowledged that he deserved to be love by both himself and karan.

i'm forever grateful for the th version for giving me the catharsis of this relationship. how not just love itself but the acts of love that changed both achi and karan for the better. sometime bls in general will tell you that characters are meant to be togerther while do the bare minimum. cherry magic show that it's words, actions, and how much you willing to fight for your relationship that matter.

[slveepyscwrs]

"I'm proud of my writing!!"

me: oh really?? then how about you show me that first wattpad (or fanfiction.net) fanfic of yours??

you know, the one you wrote when you were an edgy mentally ill depressed 11-14 yr old middle schooler

yes, the one with the stereotypical Wattpad alc0h0lic parents who nearly abu$e their kid to de@th at the end of every other chapter

yes, the one that you wrote entirely in the first person

yes, the one where you genuinely thought you were writing like shakespeare but ended up making a million grammar mistakes instead

yes, the one with the most random and messy "I came up with this at 3 am" plot line known to man

yes, the one featuring kagehina, bakudeku or another one of those insanely popular gay ships

yes, the one with the gay 'lemon' scene that you were most definitely too young to write but who cares because its 2010s wattpad (and very biologically inaccurate bc most of us were AFAB)

yes, the one where you wrote text conversations like this:

"ORANGE TANGERINE SHORTIE!! 🍊🍊🍊(Hinata): hey i think im going to do a my r lyric prank in the gc 🥺🥺"

"ANNOYING ASS BEANPOLE 🙄😒🫘 (Tsukishima): what the actual fuck Hinata-"

yes, the one with an A/N ranting about random life stuff every two lines

yes, the one where you linked some random nightcore song in said A/N of a gacha anime person singing their little heart out about the third breakup this week and wrote "I was thinking about this song while writing this so u should listen to it while reading guys!! 🥺"

yes, the one where you wrote at the end: "OH EM GEE NO WAY YOU ACTUALLY READ THIS!! no way cuz this was literally so bad!! u deserve a cookie uwu 🍪 !! ill be updating with next chapter very soon so stay tuned 😈"

("Last Updated: November 2017")

oh, but of course we're going to pretend that phase didn't exist and avoid clicking on our old fics like they're toxic waste... (literally me) 🤭

let me know what else i missed anything in the notes!!

[epickiya722]

Merry Christmas (if you celebrate it)...So I just have an interesting discussions with my JJK moots (also fics writers) last night. There are 5 of us and we all have different ships (A = nanami/gojo, B = gojo/yuji, C = gojo/utahime, D = sukuna/yuuji & itadori/fushiguro also an anti gojo, and E (me) = gojo/ geto).

One of the thing that interest me is, when I asked the first three people why they include Getou in their fics. You know what they said? "We can't imagine Gojo without Getou's influence. So we made Getou as the 'memorable and unforgetable ex- lover'. Getou also fit as Gojo's 'one and only best friend'." And when I asked the fourth one, who do you ship Gojo with. They said, " I really dislike Gojo as a character so I can only see Gojo with Getou as the most reasonable ship."

Until now I was still surprised that even among non- SatoSugu shipper and anti Gojo fan, they can't deny the special bond between Gojo and Getou. And that's why they are my otp.... Sorry for this long ask, hope you don't mind....

Happy Holidays to you, Anon! I don't mind the long ask, it's all good! 😁

That does sound like you had an interesting discussion.

Now, personally for me, I do like Gojo as a character and yep, I have my ships for him. First one happen to be Gojo/Nanami, like that was my first Gojo and Nanami ship. Still like it. It's the only other Gojo ship I like. And of course, right now, I'm a fan of Gojo/Geto.

The movie did it for me because ain't no way you recognize someone from his scent of his energy and you haven't seen him in 10+ years or you're going around renaming people with a name that sounds like your "friend's" name while also wearing a clothing piece that has his last name in its name!

For me, I happen to like the characters. I like how they are on their own and if I like the dynamic they have with another character then, yeah, I'd probably ship it romantically and still vibe with it platonically.

(There are some instances I won't though. Not all dynamics strike me as "they would potentially have a romance".)

It's always funny to me when there will be people who are anti-*insert character or ship*, yet can't even deny that ship's special bond between those characters.

I see it a lot for another fandom I'm in for a really popular ship and it will just tickle me to see some anti go "this character isn't gay" but then turn around and go "but their relationship with this character is kinda not normal... but they're not gay". They act like a character has to be strictly gay to actually have romance with another character. Honey, the word "bisexual" exist. "Pansexual" exists. There are so many options for sexualities.

Or even funnier when those characters don't even show interest in the opposite sex like that and/or treat characters of that opposite the same way.

And honestly, I need some people to understand the difference between characters hating each other or just one character truly hates the other (AND IT BE EXPLICIT SOMETIMES) and having just a complicated relationship and not hate each other. Just because two characters are at odds sometimes, it doesn't always mean they hate each other. Especially, if they do things they won't do with anybody else.

Like, let's be real, whatever Gojo and Geto have cannot be compared with other relationships they have with other characters because what the hell?! Platonic or romantic, those two are soulmates!

When they separated from each other, I just... oh my gosh! It started going downhill for Geto when Gojo was assigned to more solo missions and when Geto deflected? Gojo really lost his damn mind! He really out here acting like that! He was so distraught, man made himself bleed!

"My one and only", "My soul knows otherwise..."

And in the dub, Gojo says "My heart and soul"!

Geto literally choking out his own body from beyond the grave because Gojo called out to him.

DECEMBER 24TH!!

It's like with those two... if another character told Gojo "if you can shoot that basketball into the goal, I'll give you a kiss" and then he'll purposely miss. Let Geto say it, he'll show out, shoot the basketball and get it in the basket ten times in a row.

Someone ask Geto "Well, what kind of people are you into", he'll probably go "definitely not you". Gojo ask? Heart eyes and "why are you asking? Are you into me?"

[alarrytale]

Hi Marte! I had a realization from reading your blog and have you to thank for it. Like a lightbulb moment. I'm left leaning on the political scale but my family are right leaning but not far right. I wouldn't call them homophobic, in the sense that if I was to CO I know they'd be accepting, they treat lgbtq+ people they meet like everyone else. But there is something there, maybe heteronormative thinking. They're fine with lgbtq+ people as long as they're not 'in their face'. So they really dislike S*m Sm*th and think that what he is doing is wrong and that he has mental health issues. They would hate Lil N*s as well if they knew who he was. They think that HW is trying to force lgbtq+ people on everyone else, like Kr*sten St*wart. They hate B*llie E*lish and find her weird. But they're also big fans of Freddie and George. So maybe it's some kind of form of homophobia or really heteronormative thinking. Like they're okay with lgbtq+ people as long as they're not graphic, but they're fine for straight people to be. Have seen a lot of people share these same views. Reading your blog has helped me realize that we need lgbtq+ people 'forced' on audiences because it's the only way to normalize them. Having the odd mainstream queer movie or queer artist isn't going to achieve anything. We need lots of them because then people will get used to seeing them. People argue that lgbtq+ people are accepted but they're not really. They are more now than they were in the past but conservatives are still targeting them and trying to bring them down. It would be really nice to get to the stage where a lgbtq+ movie can be as successful as straight movies, or a gay artist can be as successful as a straight artist. We need more out public figures. The music industry seems even further behind than HW. There is no mainstream artists other than Troy? writing about same sex relationships, or not many are anyway. The music industry is so slow to catch up.

Hi, anon!

Yes, queer people are often more accepted, respected and honored by straight people if they assimilate and adapt to straight norms and culture, rather than immersing themself in queer culture. It's a bit of homophobia mixed with anti-feminism, but mostly a lot of xenophobia and prejudices that makes it so. Most men got short hair so when people see a man with long hair it's going to be foreign to them, and unless they're exposed to it often they're going to have a reaction to it everytime they see men with long hair. Same with purple hair, tattoos, painted nails or two men holding hands.

Everything foreign, or something that's diverging from what they consider normal, common, expected and predictable, or something they can't relate to, is going to feel scary. It will challenge their way of thinking and seeing the world, challenge the societal norms and what they know. It will also challenge their own prejudices.

If they've never met, worked with or had a queer friend or family member, being exposed to a queer person can be met with negative feelings. Queer people often break several of the straight norms, blur the lines of feminity and masculinity and deliberatly seek to oppose the conventional. If you're never been exposed to it and lived a sheltered life where everyone is assimilating and people are afraid to diverge from the norm, it's going to be a wake up call.

The only way to change people's prejudices and attitudes towards queer people is exposure. A bit at the time. Let queer people tell their stories in the mainstream sphere. Straight people need to be educated and their prejudices needs to be challenged. Let queer people show straight people that they're just as good parents as a straight people, even if the men wear dresses or the females wear cargo shorts. Put out queer people in postition of power to show straight people that they're just as capable and just as respected as everyone else. Show us queer heros and queer success stories. Make straight people see the value in diversity and the need for equal rights regardless of people's sexuality or gender identity. When people have a lesbian neighbour, a non-binary grocer, a transgender work colleague and a gay boss they will eventually stop seeing sexuality and start seeing the person. They will create relations with them, start respecting them and not think of them as different. It will be the new normal.

We need to train people to see past heteronormativity, we need them to understand that they must always ask for pronouns or address people as they/them when they don't know. We need people to stop assuming sexuality and gender. If they are asked for their preferred pronouns, and it's normalised, they will start asking others for theirs.

The more people who come out the more straight people will be exposed to queer people and queer culture. More people are coming out in the music industry, but it's slow going. Billie, Jojo Siwa, Troye, Frank Ocean, Tyler the Creator, Lil Nas X, Luke Hemmings, Halsey, Demi Lovato and Miley to name a few. H and L have both had queer support bands on their tour as well. There aren’t that many mainstream artists out yet. I do have hope that more mainstream artist will come out, or become mainstream when they're out. It needs to happen to normalise being queer. If queer people continue to hide in the shadows, they will not bee seen and remembered by straight people. This will take time, but it got to start somewhere.

[castle-dominion]

castle 5x18 the wild rover

plot heavy episode, at least backstory heavy for ryan. I was SO excited during my family watch when I realized this was the episode. I'd seen gifs & read fics & I was stoked. I'll only be able to watch part of it today since I need to leave for work.

Me, a baker: Nice! The crime scene: Me: Not nice!

HOW did he say the name? Jordan can be a man... KB: Castle, I know nothing. Nothing is a dear friend of mine and this is not nothing.

He is SO defensive lol sleep interrogations XD KB: Who says I haven’t already?

Lots & lots of fabric EW CASTLE CRIME SCENE NOT EVEN DEAD MAN'S CUPCAKE BUT BLOOD SPATTER even tho there was likely none there

11.30 or 23.30? Good for him knowing his cars Haha dough. I thought esposito made that pun intentionally Quick maths? (why did I pluralize it?)

Only twice a week? Oh yeah lol this guy has access to all sorts of products & chemicals & machines as a baker.

Hey we get to see ryan's apartment! Jenny (O'Malley) Ryan: Which means you should probably … Me: *confused* Me: *FIGURES IT OUT AFTER I REMEMBER WHAT SORT OF DOCTOR THEY ARE GOING TO* It wouldn't be your fault hun, even if it is your problem. These two are so so cute. Ok I'm clipping that.

RC: I'm going to ignore that Maybe he was planning a new location

Ooh irish mob, remember finn rourke & detective slaughter & the previous episodes where anything was mentioned Ok so the way we count syllables is weird. Irish gaelic (gaelge) has two letters because it gives buffer room between consonants. S is often sh usually when followed by an e or an i or smth, & mh or bh are just like th or ch, it changes the way it is pronounced, usually to a v, sometimes to a w depending on where u are. It is pheonetic! Just a different language! This is the part of the episode I realized what we were watching!

She only knows his as jimmy the baker. She looks so anxious here.

Ryan is back good for him. RC: How did the thing go … with the uh, you know. Do the thing with the thing and give the thing to the doctor. I could clip that lmao ESPOSITO SHUT UP Clip this now His eyes He is not even really kissing her *slaps him twice* THIS WAS .. FUN Edit: someone has it already

lots of clips now heheheh

*asks esposito bc obv he would know*

Love the b plot "this is normal" Man looks mad Only sees bobby s now instead of earlier when he looked at the murder board FRIENDS BACK IN THE DAY? WHAT KIND OF CREW?

UNDERCOVER!?!?!?!?!?!?!? RC: I love complicated!

Why wouldn't you want to leave tho? for her? or for more? Clipping that too "cop"

"just the wife" bro? gay.

Of course he's heard of kevin ryan, even tho it has been 7 years, this is his case! They're impressed & esposito is mad that he didn't tell him

Why would you write down all your illegal stuff like that? I've met ppl who /want/ to make spreadsheets but don't, & ppl who write their stuff but in code Ryan acting like he still knows her, acting like he's still in the mob like "she wouldn't snitch"-- in fact it was weird how she kissed him like girl it has been seven years of COURSE he has moved on You left & she fell on hard times!? Oh no now he feels guilty/ Another jimmy who is a rat? She can... You only found her bc of phone records YOU walked away ryan He is protecting her Wow that's messed up a bit Like with the Ben kid, doesn't want to send someone in unprotected

SOD: Look at you, telling the truth. >:(

You? You are not on the crew bro Yeah BACK THEN not NOW Ryan ryan my dude careful, you don't know if your oconnell cover is still good

Clipping this quote: How long has law enforcement been after that bible? Fifteen? Twenty years? Huh? These guys are drug dealing parasites. When are you going to get another shot to wipe them all out? Look, you want the bible. We want Bobby S for murder. Siobhan wants to keep breathing. Everybody wins. I can do this.

not this one tho SOD: What are you doing? Are you out of your mind? KR: I was Fenton. I can be him again. SOD: Don’t get yourself killed on my account. KR: All right, yeah, you hate me. I get that and I deserve it. But do you want to be put in Witness Relocation or not? Yes or no? SOD: nods. Agent Walker: Detective? Were you serious about that offer? KR turns to him. He thinks for a second & then nods.

Yeah 7 years is a long time bro, he's right course there's a new heirarchy thats how things work they change over time like seven years Martha acting lessons Sad, his wife won't kiss him goodbye Castle & esposito & beckett too watching him in there getting an ID card Nooo they are cutting his hair Wow ugly hair but hey nice outfit, even if it doesn't look like smth he usually wears But I legit cut my own hair a few days after this episode & we actually have similar hair again XD The "I am fenton o'connell" lines throughout that was hhhh I am clipping this right now right now lsdjfskdfj but I have to get ready for work in 15 minutes edit:

I clipped it but I didn't have to

Love how esposito is the taxi driver lol also question: what if he was walking down the street one day & saw someone from the old crew? What then? I mean it's new york nobody looks at anybody but still Of COURSE you don't like it

JE: (sighs) I don’t like this, bro. You don’t have a wire. No locator. ((but u have a cell phone that they can track right?)) KR: If I did, Bobby S would find it. This is the way it’s gotta be, man. ((I haven’t mentioned yet but I like how they call him bobby s, maybe there is a bobby r or a bobby m somewhere)) JE: What’s the name of Agent Walker’s informants who’ll vouch for you? KR: The Mason brothers. Matt and Tony. JE: Where did you do your last stretch? ((interrogating him lol, but r u allowed to know this?)) KR: Elmira, for man 1. Can even tell you my cell number. I know what I’m doing, okay? JE: isn’t convinced. JE: What about Siobhan? KR: Our plan is solid. (he nods like he’s convincing himself, too) I got this. KR: hands him so cash to keep his cover. KR: See you on the other side, partner. JE: Mm-hmm.

Called Kelly's but Siobhan owns it lol also, nice place, must actually run nicely, owning a bar or restaurant takes a lot of work

Tbh it looks like nobody recognizes him. Like he expects to be recognized (after seven years) & ppl are like "what are you standing there for?" not "do I know you?" Oh & NOW people are recognizing him

Siobhan meeting again but pretending it is the first time in years lol. Clipping the punch As long as she keeps her hands off of me

Pushes him back a bit & trying to touch her Maggie got married since u knew her (so siobhan maybe "fenton" got married since you knew him, why would you assume that you can still kiss him after all this time?) How much of that was acting? bc they've already met each other again so they can't just "be" themselves they need to meet each other & then they can be who they are. also funny how she is literally an fbi informant & she was mad that he was a cop

Finally back & able to finish this after like a week ugh & it's already 11.30 bc I couldn't wake up

JE: I’m telling you, man. He’s not the Ryan I know. And I’m not just talking about the haircut and the clothes. It’s like he’s a different dude. ((That's the point)) RC: That’s what he’s supposed to be. He’s in character. He’s Fenton. That’s good. JE: Yeah, but what if he’s not good enough? After seven years he’s gotta be rusty. And these Staten Island boys are no joke. ((That is a good argument...)) Don't want to clip this, but I COULD

Define Yonkers what if it was NOT bobby s tho?

So valid bestie (not clipping it but yeah I NEVER take my phone in when I go to confession. But why was it on when he handed it to liam?) "What'll the missus think?" you know what? I WILL clip this. he's such a Different Person

Bobby is SO pissed at fenton He knows... btw what is up with the accent? I can't tell but it's def there Who's Ben Gideon? Ah & there is where the mason brothers come into play

Wild Rover from the song he was always a rat lmao btw my man has some weird glass sculptures that are shaped like guns & it is,,, something alright Prodigal son? Irish catholics my beloved this is going to be clipped right here Liam SO wants to lol HOLY CRAP trust, brotherhood, fuck-ed-up-ed-ness, this is great. He looks so "hhhh" once he hugs him & liam is just there & omg sdjfah

That wink he gives to siobhan, I could clip that if I wasn't low on time

Clippin this tho If I wasn't watching this with my family I would have literally pulled out my bible from my jeanjacket pocket to find this verse but I knew what it was going to be. But seriously who has them memorized? I only have, like, three verses memorized IF that. this is the day that the lord has made let us rejoice and be glad in it psalm 118:4 & the lord said "let there be light" & light was made genesis 1:3 Only the wicked run when there is no-one chasing them; the righteous are as bold as a lion proverbs 28:1 except I didn't know the corresponding verse for that last one. & ofc everyone knows the corinthians one about love, 1:13, & that one from John (I had to look it up bc I didn;t know the quote nor the verse but thankfully it is famous enough that I got it) 3:16

Check it out, as you should.

What's between these two? Oh wait yeah it is the problem with Jordan. RC:Ah. Perhaps Bobby S had an accomplice. A cold-blooded, murderous sheep. 14 grand? wowie. Yeah THAT was too much fiber, it was DEF planted.

How do you communicate?

Also it has been a night already at least, where is fenton staying? where was he staying before he waltzed into the bar? transcript is incorrect, it is "you know" not "yo" but w/e. Also ryan my man why take off your hood now? Man could use a hat, probs one of those hats that all my irish canadian shetland canadian french canadian ukranian canadian metis fiddle friends wear, it would fit in fine

Esposito hkhjdfkghfjh reminder to myself: talk about the clip when u post it bc there is too much to talk about jshskdjfhskjdhfsjkfhs

He loves her, honestly. But don't kiss her He got her a toy at a ring toss uwu "unlike you" but don't kiss her oh thank goodness

lmao he says waceway not raceway ALL OF THE METRO CARDS!?

I like how they are all old-style phones EXCEPT for his who's fast eddie? Also Liam just standing there (man looks good tho, I like his shirt) & btw when DID ryan learn to play such good pool? (I feel bad for the audio director battling with the visual director over the pool balls) These two REALLY ARE friends who's keane? Also why is liam allowed his phone? & keane just said there WAS a rat, he might have said "u got a rat but you were wrong abt who it was" bobby's eyes what went ALL the way around, was that on purpose? bc that's heck of math there hit the head? Is that another version of hit the hay?

walking right in, I thought For Sure someone would be there NO WHAT IF IT IS THE WRONG SAFE OH NO THE MONEY IS WRONG HE'S GOING TO NOTICE oh thank goodness he didn't look over to see if the bible was there, but he KNOWS smth is up

*o'connell leaves from that same room* who calls someone sport except for dads? Take a ride? Jesus carrying his own cross Ok THAT was sus af, but I mean, if I was a drug supplier then I would also be scared, even if I was not an undercover pig.

(I thought that was the time he did the thing, you know, got the thing off of liam & made the connection, but in the next scene esposito is calling him, calling ryan's phone ofc but still)

Why did Jenny come here? Did they call her here? Love, my dude. Ah yes, not one single reason, many of them Ah HERE is esposito on the phone

I realized this the other day & didn't have access to tumblr & I wasn't even watching but Ryan/fenton Asks Liam Out Loud

fenton/ryan is so short compared to liam also I was SO excited seeing this scene bc I had seen it before in gifs & stuff

Ok so she got nabbed by the cops two days ago so fenton has only been back for two days? they totally could have made this a two part episode. Anyway my point was two days ago & suddenly fenton oconnell shows up mysteriously again & is talking with siobhan, of COURSE they know he's in on it

Oh to PROVE he knew nothing heck man this is a heck of a story (also if he pulled it out of his waistband u know he had no bullet in the chamber & safety on, so you SHOULD check the gun.)

My man would shoot bobby s? a man fenton considered to be a friend even if ryan was trying to take him down? Is that... legal?

Siobhan saying that is not helping his case (& he cocks the gun but he really should not, JUST IN CASE it was already cocked & had a bullet in the chamber, you could have just clogged the gun.) & the music is so good

So... so shoot him yeah lol ofc it was empty

Why r u just giving away your full name lol b'y idk if u can place em under arrest when it is liam, keane, bobby s, & some other ppl too & then also reverse pick pockets? voice so deep when he yells, love it, & calls him javi, I've seen a clip of this so I know it exists & I don't need to clip it myself but I'm tempted to. Maybe later if I don't have to give back these CDs as soon as I thought. Edit: found a clip

that moment of fear,,,, hoo

esposito's gun lol He just knows she's on the other side? Castle just there lmao

ngl I half expected ryan to kiss bobby s. Judas betrayed jesus with a kiss. (& for the last time, judas did not want jesus to die, he just wanted to get jesus away from this town bc there were problems brewing, judas was the finance guy of the disciples, he got mad about mary maggie using perfume on jesus's feet instead of selling it & giving the money to the poor, judas was not the evil double crosser ppl make him out to be) ryan looks almost sad sending bobby away & seeing siobhan. edit:

Also is it freaking dawn? Lucky ryan, changing back into a suit, not only that but a matching three piece suit. He is going overboard in that direction to feel more like himself instead of going no vest just tie or no tie just vest, or jeans no dress pants, or dress pants with a random jacket, this man wanted it to be on the far end of his style spectrum.

Castle & the football reminds me of that time castle Did Not catch the baseball & it crashed into smth & nobody acknowledged it

No like it-- what was it? What (from the diner) are you specifically apologizing for? The tone? not listening? What specifically was the apology in reference to?

Lady macbeth lol & that's why liam was so loyal even after this

No what is jordan ABOUT? Bro I thought james bonde & your dad's book inspired you to be a writer. Markiplier moments. Holding her <3 He remembers his name bc you told him bro

SOD: I was hoping you’d come. KR: I wanted to say goodbye this time. SOD: Goodbye makes me feel like I’ll never see you again. KR: You won’t. ((OOF)) *her face falls, but she knows it has to happen* KR: Tomorrow you’ll be in a new city. Have a new name. You’ll get to start over again. SOD: Why did you do this? Risk your life for me? KR: You know why. SOD, nodding sadly: This Kevin Ryan guy? I wish I would have met him sooner. KR: laughs She leans in to kiss his cheek. He knows he has to leave, and he doesn’t look back when he does. She sighs heavily before she gets back to packing

Also his coat with the collar like that? nice

Finally back home! lmao the music sdjfhsjdfskldfklsdjf clipping this now this is great & fun She's pregnant I'm so happy for them! I am afraid of the passage of time but I am so happy for them! hsdjakhsdkjhfjdh & they are so adorable

What a great great episode! It totally could have been a two-part-er imo, but the alexis kidnapping one took precedent & tbh that's valid. I just really enjoyed this one. As did most of the fandom.

[the-heaminator]

I posted 6,782 times in 2022

That's 6,755 more posts than 2021!

516 posts created (8%)

6,266 posts reblogged (92%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@starflight-reblog

@fireandiceland

@disneyprincessdxminatrix

I tagged 5,599 of my posts in 2022

Only 17% of my posts had no tags

#yes - 847 posts

#the heam speaks - 90 posts

#biology - 74 posts

#ask answered - 73 posts

#hws england - 67 posts

#pruk - 55 posts

#the heam writes - 41 posts

#yea - 28 posts

#canon being built different - 27 posts

#fruk - 27 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#“oh my god what is this frenchified clown dutch? what are you doing? why do i find it so cute? oh my god i’m going to have a stroke. i need

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

HETALIA CHARACTERS AS SHIT I'VE HEARD TEACHERS DO AND SAY

America: *chases a child around in a Caterpillar costume on all fours and screeching*

England: "The best way to get rid of a body is either dissolving it in acid or feeding it to pigs"

Germany: "I feel like I'm aiding and abetting some criminals here"

Prussia: "This is a but, and a very big but it is"

France after someone makes too many virgin jokes: "Well you should be a virgin and if you aren't then please give my condolences to whoever gave you your first rodeo, they just have been so dissapointed"

Russia: "You can make a molotov cocktail at home using alcohol and a rag, but don't tell you parents I told you this"

Denmark: *Walks around school in neon green speedos and a neon pink raincoat*

Latvia: "My ears may be small but they hear all your secrets"

Italy: "mAMMa mIa this computer will be the death of me!"

69 notes - Posted April 14, 2022

#4

PROMPTS FOR HETALIA POLYSHIP WEEK 2022

(June 14/Day 1) Sleepy mornings/ Winter/ Pets

(June 15/day 2) First Kiss/ space/ Family

(June 16/Day 3) Rainy day/ Spring / Storms

(June 17/day 4) Lets get you out of those wet clothes/ And there was only 1 bed/ Supernatural

(June 18/Day 5) Flowers/ Painting/ Beach

(June 19/Day 6) Tiredness/ Angst/ Murder

(June 20/Day 7)  Road trip/ Childhood/ Family

(June 21/Day 8) Whatever the fuck you want.

Please if you have any queries or requests ask in @magictrio1118 or @heta-polyweek2022

92 notes - Posted May 28, 2022

#3

The real question is which nations would have a tumblr

My bet would be on Iceland

127 notes - Posted November 7, 2022

#2

Oh can you write ukfrain? I thought like a love triangle (real one) and they're all too dumb to notice they're in love with each other. I do like Frain being very close and lot of PDA dispite them not saying and England feeling jealous because he/she isn't between them.

Oh wait. It can be nyo if you want 👀

OH, OH ok apparentl;y this turned into the horniest thing ive ever written. maybe im just feeling gayer than usual. A lot of this went into describing what i like about women im so sorry

Y E S. These shits being oblivious and England being jealous and all being very gay

Names bc Nyos: Isabella (Spain) Francene (France) Elizabeth (England)

Dammit why was Isabella so pretty!

This was the simultaneous thought of more than one very gay women in the conference room as Spain flounced up to give her speech.

Spain in a suit could turn most women gay, let's be real here, but if they were already gay, that could be a small problem.

As she droned on about agriculture most people had tuned out and were busy doing various things, like being on their phones, irritating someone or staring at Isabella's hips, luckily for Isa, only 2 people were staring at her hips. But unluckily for her, it was Francene and Elizabeth, one was her best friend (and fuck buddy) and the other was her past rival (now occasional fuck buddy.) 

Now you could argue that  Francene and Isabella's relationship had long surpassed being just fuck buddies, looking after each other and cuddling in the rain, being there when the other was down, kissing eachther goodnight, while sleeping in the same bed.

Normal homie behaviour at its finest.

After that it was Francene, she gave an actually well delivered and structured speech about strikes and why they happen and how to prevent them to avoid major closures. Most people were listening and to some extent Isa and Elizabeth were too, but they were also getting occationally sidetracked by Francenes clothing choices. A very close fitting waistcoat that left little to imagination and even though the skirt reached the knee, it showed her stocking clad calves and if she stretched, parts of her thigh and it was really sending Elizabeth around the bend.

She knew that Francene was mostly occupied by Isabella, but she really wanted to be held dammit. Preferably by either or both of those 2.

When it was finally Elizabeth's turn to speak, she pointedly avoided looking at either of the two. After all she was not wearing anything exactly provocative and her bodily dimensions left a lot to be desired, so she wouldnt have to worry.

At least that's what she thought.

Her bin provocative clothing and her overall dimensions did nothing to stop the two romance nations imagining things that would have gotten them flogged in centuries past.

I mean Elizabeth has done it before, so why not again.

Elizabeth's presentation on urban and rural development was the end to the incredibly long meeting.

Most nations had agreed to go to the pub before going to their hotels and probably sleeping, though some noises occasionally said otherwise.

Elizabeth walked to the canteen, avoiding Isabella and Francene like the plague, even if that meant being around Julchen and Amelia, two women who had no idea what being quiet was.

Except today, they were mostly silent, only muttering to each other under their breaths.

After an infuriating 5 minutes she asked "What is wrong with you two, neither of you have said awesome or dude yet and you're being awfully quiet."

Julchen, being an absolute beast at covering up her tracks and 100% wanted to torture Elizabeth said "We were talking about how I'm pretty sure that Isa and Francene have a thing going on."

"Oh you think I dont know that? I hear ✨sounds✨" she said, quite disgruntled as you would imagine.

She looked over at the two who were being so sappy that she couldn't look away defo not imagining herself in some questionable positions .

Elizabeth stopped her beer while Julchen did as well, Amelia was being a pussy in the corner and drinking coke.

But a couple of beers later, everyone is understandably a bit tipsy and whilst Amelia was stuck with dragging a mooning Elizabeth and a very depressed Julchen out of the bar.

Amelia looked on in dismay as Elizabeth sort of walked (she wasn't stumbling but like still a bit wobbly) over to the very passionately making out duo in the back.

And her tongue being plied with a generous amount of liquid courage says "Can I join you?"

See the full post

218 notes - Posted May 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I think us, as the hetalia fandom, ship so prolifically because we know that without stupid romance what has hetalia got to offer us, I'll tell you what.

Pain, bloodshed, the sufferings of people who have lived though countless wars and lived to tell the tale, killed, maimed, often people close to their heart, or what's left of it

219 notes - Posted November 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[defendglobe]

anyway, jumping off that post i made the other day about odo being deanna's stepfather, here's some TNG/DS9 crew interaction headcanons:

-sisko and picard keep a respectful distance from each other. neither of them want to discuss what happened at wolf 359 but it's too big an issue to ignore. their interactions are limited to stuff like "congrats on your promotion to captain" or "sorry your ship was destroyed."

-since the TNG movies first contact and insurrection take place while worf is working on DS9, the TNG crew stay around for a few days when they bring worf back to talk about their latest adventure. after first contact, data scares the bejesus out of everyone by walking through the promenade with half his face ripped off.

-whenever geordi visits DS9 he ends up helping o'brien with repairs because something is always broken on DS9 and geordi is a workaholic. it's a good excuse to catch up and find out how keiko and molly are up to. he always leaves DS9 glad that he's the chief engineer of the enterprise and not station on fire trash can.

-riker sets up a poker table at quark's and invites julian and o'brien to play. julian gets all competitive is convinced that he can beat riker but o'brien (who regularly attended poker games on the enterprise and knows damn well that riker is an amazing player) tells him that he doesn't stand a chance. they play a game and riker absolutely wipes the floor with julian.

-data, geordi, and julian keep in touch after the events of TNG S6E16 because they're all autistic nerds who love infodumping. sometimes they'll try out each other's favorite holodeck programs together (sherlock holmes/james bond).

-also because of TNG S6E16, beverly keeps in regular contact with julian and lets him swing by the enterprise-E every now and then to use medical equipment that is more advanced than the stuff on DS9. she does still give him shit for literally breaking into sickbay that one time, though.

-sisko and beverly bond over being single parents and losing their partners because of their starfleet careers. beverly busts out some baby pictures of wesley and his ugly sweaters remind sisko of jake.

-jadzia and riker probably fucked at least once. they also swap weird sex stories in the middle of the bar. beverly walks by, says "by the way, i fucked a ghost once," and then walks away. jadzia hauls ass across the room to ask for context on that one.

-deanna goes to garak's shop looking for a new outfit and since she's a betazoid, she ends up telling him he really should consider therapy because his vibes are so off. garak does not appreciate that insight and has to resist the urge to go full obsidian order on her ass.

-picard and odo get along surprisingly well, since they both tend to hold people at arms length and are emotionally constipated as shit. if picard ever needs to pass on information to the DS9 crew, he usually goes through odo so he doesn't have to talk to sisko. also picard is super orderly most of the time, which odo appreciates.

-quark tries to ban data from the dabo wheel, saying that it's not fair for an android with superhuman abilities to gamble because he could easily rig the games. julian, o'brien, worf, and the entire enterprise crew threaten to beat the shit out of him for saying that. data explains to quark that his ethical program wouldn't allow him to cheat and quark ends up having to listen to data infodump about his programming.

-data occasionally joins in garak and bashir's gay little book club, because he appreciates hearing a cardassian perspective on human literature. since he's super direct/upfront all the time, he gets a bit confused by garak constantly talking in like fifty layers of euphemisms. bashir has to explain that no, this isn't a human social norm you're missing, garak is just Like That.

-the enterprise is out on an urgent mission when worf and jadzia get married, but the crew throws a hell of a party for them when they get back (riker and beverly were the masterminds here). likewise, the DS9 crew members who stayed around after "What You Leave Behind" are invited to deanna and riker's wedding. they're just off camera because they didn't want to be seen in such a bad movie, lol.

-guinan and quark get into a "who's the better bartender" type rivalry and compete by making a shitton of different drinks for people in the bar and having them vote. it ends in them getting arrested by odo for using romulan ale or some other illegal thing.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Do you know any good movie aus? Not as in they're actors, but fics written based on movie plots?

Hey Nonny!!

OHHHH! This is fantastic! Because I actually have ANOTHER ask looking for crossovers too, and the list is HUGE. So I’ve used this opportunity to split the list up into two. This one here is for my MFL list, and if anyone has any of their own to suggest, please add them to this list! 

So, check out Below!

CROSSOVERS and FUSIONS (Feb 2021) Pt. 1.5 [FICS TO READ]

See Also:

Fairy Tales and Fantasy

TV, Movies, and Books AU (Fantasy Pt. 2)

Wonderful Life AU

Sherlock / Hannibal Crossovers?

Science Fiction / Fantasy

Faes / Faeries

Disney-esque Fics

Moulin Rouge AU

Crossovers and Fusions Pt 1

Two More Miracles by PatPrecieux (T, 221 w., 1 Ch. || Good Omens Crossover || Angst With Happy Ending, 221B Ficlet, Temporary Character Death) – Tragedy and miracles go hand in hand.

Here, Though the World Explode, These Two Survive by TheTyger (G, 1,194 w., 2 Ch. || Good Omens Crossover || Post-TRF, Ineffable Husbands, Fluff, Reunion, Rings, Hurt/Comfort) – Tomorrow, it would be three years from that day. Three years with no rude text messages, no experiments being conducted while London slept, no body parts in the fridge. And John still sometimes caught himself buying extra milk and looking for cases and making two coffees.

Just the Book by Carenejeans (G, 1,495 w., 1 Ch. || Good Omens Crossover || Humour, Aziraphale’s Bookshop) – John's looking for a book. It's Aziraphale's bookshop, but Crowley provides customer service.

The Case of the Missing.... by Beth H (G, 2,601 w., 1 Ch. || Sherlock Crossover || Case Fic) – Crowley has gone missing, and Aziraphale hasn't a clue how to go about finding him. Luckily, help comes from above...or rather, from the side.

The Curious Case of the Missing Antichrist by Aedemiel (G, 2,865 w., 1 Ch. || Sherlock Crossover || Vignette, Case Fic, Desperation, Bad Ideas) – What if Aziraphale and Crowley had consulted the great consulting detective, Sherlock Holmes, about finding Adam Young?

Eye of the Storm by Calais_Reno (G, 2,996 w., 1 Ch. || The Day After Tomorrow AU || Survival, Cold Weather, Boy Scout John, No Major Character Death) – Weather has become the fifth horseman of the apocalypse.

Nice and Accurate Deductions by htebazytook (T, 3,179 w., 1 Ch. || Good Omens Crossover || Romance, Humour, Fluff) – Sherlock drags John to a certain bookshop in Soho.

Snake In The Flat by PatPrecieux (T, 3,293 w., 1 Ch. || Good Omens Crossover || Magical Realism, Fluff, Humour, Ineffable Husbands) – There can be a snake in the grass, snakes on a plane and now there's a snake in the flat.

The Picture of Sherlock Holmes by CarmillaCarmine (M, 3,306 w., 1 Ch. || Victorian Dorian Gray AU || Angst, Paris, London, Travel, Painting, Major Character Death, Opera, Captain John, First Meetings) – Sherlock Holmes, a rich and frivolous man, after a lifetime of debauchery finally falls in love. His heart chooses Captain Watson.

The Old Town by a_different_equation (T, 3,573 w., 1 Ch. || Hans Christian Anderson Fusion || Magical Realism, Christmas, Fairy Tale Elements, Love Stories, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Museums, Sweet Sherlock) – Once upon a time there were two boys. This is the story how once upon December, they found the missing Christmas Spirit, true love and new beginnings. A Queer fairytale for all seasons.

Holmes vs. Harkness by coinin (T, 3,960 w., 1 Ch. || Torchwood / HHGTTG Fusion || Crack, Mystrade) – In which Captain Jack gets in a little over his head and is introduced to the myriad joys of bureaucracy, Mycroft is smug, the Guide offers up some helpful advice, John Watson doesn't share, and, in a strange turn of events, Jack doesn't get laid even once.

Perfect by TrufflesTheMushroom (T, 3,984 w., 1 Ch. || Good Omens Crossover || The Apocalypse) – Crowley and Aziraphale have made a huge mistake. It's the end of the world and it all boils down to one fight. Crowley has picked John Watson. Aziraphale has picked Sherlock Holmes.

Limbo by Calais_Reno (T, 4,070 w., 1 Ch. || Good Omens Crossover || Waiting Rooms, Ineffable Bureaucracy, Paperwork, Explosions, Apocalypse, Second Chances, Declarations of Love, Nobody Dies) – Ordinarily Sherlock would be quite impatient by now with all this pointless waiting (for what?), but at the moment he feels as if he has all the time in the world.

The Baker Street Flat by Anonymous (PG-13, 5,000-20,000 w., 7 Parts || Lake House Crossover || Angst, Romance, LIVEJOURNAL Comments Fic) – John’s pretty sure it’s a sign of mental imbalance — of which he has been all too frequently accused of late — that he is actually entertaining the possibility that he is communicating with a total stranger two years in the future via the magic mail slot on the door of his new flat. He certainly won’t be mentioning this at next week’s session. On his way out the door to interview for a part-time position at a local surgery, another meeting where he has no intention of mentioning his most recent hobby, he drops a fairly sarcastic note: If you’re really from 2012, is the world about to end?

In the Shadows by Laur (M, 5,029 w., 1 Ch. || Loose Shutter Island Fusion || Disturbing Imagery, Psychological, Angst, Major Character Death, Grief/Trauma) – Do you believe in ghosts? When Sherlock’s eyes snap to him they are anguished.

come be my april fool by a_different_equation (M, 6,473 w., 1 Ch. || Great British Bake Off AU || Writer!Sherlock, Est. Rel., Fluff / Humour, Baking, Marriage Proposal, Military Kink, Domestics, POV John, Romance, Sherlock Wears Glasses, Sweet Sherlock, Bookstores, Queer Themes) – After leaving ‘The Great British Bake Off’, Sue Perkins has written a book about Victorian baking. Tonight, on April 1st, she is reading at ‘The Bard’, Mike Stamford’s bookstore in central London. It is the exact same spot where John Watson, battered and bruised, had learned all about his magnificent bastard – one Mr. Sherlock Holmes, famous gay crime fiction writer – for the first time. A story about found family, DRAMAtical lesbians, how to react when your boyfriend has a military kink but he doesn't want to act on it, oh, and popping the question. Sequel to 'i read your book, you magnificent bastard'. Part 2 of Magnificent Bastard!AU

The Babadook by CatieBrie (T, 6,886 w., 1 Ch. || Babadook Fusion || Post-TRF, Horror, Demonic Possession, Violence, Halloween, Grief, Angst with Happy Ending) – “A children’s book,” John mutters as he flips it open. The pages are scrawled with beautiful charcoal lines and thick black ink. The cover, bright red, edges the open pages and something tugs at the back of John’s brain. It’s a familiar feeling, black and tarrish and thick in his thoughts. He shakes it off and picks the book up off his bed, turning so that he can sit on the edge and spread the book out across his knees. If it’s in a word or it’s in a look, you can’t get rid of the Babadook. He turns the page, ignoring the pressure building beneath his chest. There’s a closet on one page; paper doors meant to be opened by the reader flutter as John reads the text on the other page.

What To Do With An Atypical Animal Within by HarveyDangerfield  & swimsalot (E, 7,804 w. || Harry Potter AU || Animagus, Porn With A Little Plot, Tail Porn) – Sherlock is determined to be an animagus. But what happens when it isn't a fox or a horse or a dog he's turning into?

The Lonely by elwinglyre (E, 7,888 w., 1 Ch. || Twilight Zone AU || Major Character Death, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Firsts, Sad Ending) – Witness if you will a distant planet with a dungeon made of desert sand and mountain stone. This planet holds one inmate, a man wrongly accused, serving a life sentence. His only solace, his notebook and the thought of the day when the supply ship brings him a pardon. Instead, salvation comes to John Watson in a large box and a visitor from The Twilight Zone.

Friend by esama (G, 7,909 w., 1 Ch. || Harry Potter Crossover || Character Death, Kid Fic) – Sherlock finds the skull when he's five.

Spell It Out by prettysailorsoldier (M, 8,344 w., 1 Ch. || Harry Potter Fusion || Teenlock, Christmas, Love Potion/Spell, Pining Sherlock) – Remaining at Hogwarts over break has become something of a tradition for Sherlock and John, staying behind together ever since their very first year, but, when Irene throws a gift of doctored coconut ice into the mix, plans quickly change, even if John doesn't. Part 6 of 25 Days of Johnlock

The Long Goodbye by elbereth (M, 8,367 w., 1 Ch. || Time Traveller’s Wife AU || Doomed Timelines, Time Travel) – Sherlock travels in time. The ending is known even before they meet, yet they choose to live this love. One of them knows the past, one of them knows the future, yet their deepest secret is safe from each other. Limited time, but unlimited love.

Sugar & Spice by Ttime42 (T, 8,476 w., 1 Ch. || Great British Bake Off AU || First Kiss, Baking) – Sherlock Holmes and John Watson compete on The Great British Bake Off.

Pygmalion by ancientreader (T, 9,136 w., 2, Ch. || Pygmalion AU || Magical Realism) – The spell to turn a statue into an animate being has been illegal in the UK for a hundred and seventy years when the -- body? -- is found on Hampstead Heath. It changes everything.

Am I the Current (Tiger) King of England? by Dee_Laundry (T, 9,360 w., 1 Ch. || Tiger King Fusion || Post-S4, Dreams, Friendship, John’s Sexuality, Sherlock’s Sexuality, Quarantine/CoVID-19, Past Character Death, Mentions of Violence, Mentions of Dom/Sub, First Kiss) – “I had the weirdest dream last night,” John said. Seven times.

I Could Try by Arcwin (T, 9,583 w., 5 Ch. || Greek Mythology Crossover || Post-TRF, Orpheus and Eurydice Myth, POV John, Pining John, BAMF John, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Horror, Angst with Happy Ending) – John is grieving Sherlock's death post Reichenbach until one day, he sees the violin case, and something inside him tells him to pick it up. Crossover between BBC Sherlock and the Greek tragedy Orpehus and Eurydice, wherein Eurydice is killed for her beauty and taken to the Underworld. Orpheus, being the son of Apollo (the God of Music and Medicine) travels to the Underworld to convince (via playing his lyre) Hades and Persephone to let Eurydice go. Orpheus then must travel with Eurydice behind him, not looking back, until they exit to the land of the living.

Puzzlebox by  standbygo (E, 9,867 w., 5 Ch. || Hellraiser Fusion || True Love, Supernatural Elements, Psychological Horror, First Kiss, Post S2, Angst with Happy Ending) – A love story with horror. A horror story with a happy ending.

you are a paradigm by 1electricpirate (M, 10,013 w. || Harry Potter AU || Wizard!John / Muggle!Sherlock, Magic) – Sometimes, only sometimes, when Sherlock is very far away and absolutely guaranteed not to return for at least three hours, John sits on the sofa and lets the tea make itself. In which John is (reluctantly) a wizard, Mycroft is (apparently) omniscient, and Sherlock is (surprisingly) oblivious. Part 1 of More Things Than Are Dreamt Of

Already Gone by johnwatso (M, 10,078 w., 8 Ch. || Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Fusion || Non-Linear Narrative, Memory Loss, Ambiguous / Open Ending) – Dear Mr Greg Lestrade,  Sherlock Holmes has had John Watson erased from his memory. Please never mention their relationship to him again. Thank you, Lacuna Inc.

A Real Deal by toyhto (M, 10,339 w., 1 Ch. || Black Mirror-Inspired ||  Science Fiction, Post-TRF, Canon Divergence) –  Please be real, he thought and pulled Sherlock closer.

You Don't Need Wings to Fly by Laiquilasse (T, 11,326 w., 11 Ch. || Wonderful Life AU || Bullying, Angels, Suicidal Ideation, Christmas) – John, an angel, is sent from Heaven to help a desperate Sherlock Holmes by showing him what life would have been like if he had never existed.

Backup Copies by etothepii (M, 13,332 w., 3 Ch. || Dollhouse Crossover || Major Character Death) – When John dies, Sherlock doesn't know what to do. But Mycroft does.

Silent Night by khorazir (M, 15,060 w., 1 Ch. || Codebreaker / WWII / Imitation Game-Inspired AU || Care Fic, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Dev. Rel., Reunion, PTSD John, Christmas) – It’s Christmas Eve 1944, and Sherlock Holmes has received his most precious gift already: after a long, dangerous deployment, Surgeon Captain John Watson of the Royal Navy has unexpectedly returned from the front. As if this weren’t enough, there’s a case. Both events make for a night full of promise, excitement, and the difficult task of getting reacquainted with the man Sherlock hasn’t seen in three years and feared he’d lost forever. Part 2 of Enigma

In Arduis Fidelis by Raliena (T, 18,628 w., 10 Ch. || GI Joe Crossover || Captivity, Surgery, BAMF John, John “Three Continents” Watson, POV John Watson, Prisoner of War, Cobra - Freeform, soldier John, John-centric, Doctor John Watson, John is a Very Good Doctor, Violence) – Once upon a time John was a Soldier and a Doctor. And he was known John or Doc or Doctor. But things change. And he *earned* his right to the name “Three Continents Watson”. Part 1 of the Three Continents Watson series

Serendipity by Calais_Reno (T, 18,222 w., 3 Ch. || Serendipity Fusion || Christmas, Romance, Coincidences, First Meetings, Misunderstandings, New York City, Fate and Destiny) – A bit of New York Christmas fluff, based on the 2001 movie.

Magnificent by esama (T, 19,477 w., 1 Ch. || Harry Potter Crossover || Crossover Pairing) – The birth of the Ministry of Magic and his relationship with the British Government.

Much Ado About Nothing or Get Over Here and Kiss Me Already! by MorganeUK (NR, 19,847 w., 13 Ch. || Much Ado About Nothing AU || Mutual Pining, Angst, Lestrolly) – AU in modern time where the Holmes' are a powerful noble family, Mycroft is the chief of defences and Sherlock is working for secret service. Lestrade is a high rank officer in the army. Ms Hudson is an old Lady that took care of her niece and nephew Molly and John since their youth. Part 1 of the Sherlock / Shakespeare series

Dead Letter Office by a_different_equation (M, 20,364 w., 15 Ch. || ‘Bartleby’ Fusion / Office Setting AU || Different First Meeting, Epistolary, John's Blog, Angst with a Happy Ending, Pre-Canon, John Watson is Sherlock's Boss, PTSD John, Military Backstory, Writer John, Drug Use, Texting) – John Watson comes home from the war, gets a new job and meets Sherlock Holmes through Mike Stamford. Same tale since 1891, except this time it’s 2008, John is Sherlock’s boss, and they work together at the Dead Letter Office in London. It's not a love story, until it finally is.

When John Met Sherlock by MorganeUK (T, 21,293 w., 10 Ch. || When Harry Met Sally AU || Friendship, Friends to Lovers, Developing Relationship, Faking It, Mutual Pining, Background Lestrolly, Fluff and Smut, Rom-Com) – At first they thought that friendship was impossible. Then meet again and become friends. After dinners, texts, cases and discussions they become more, best friends. Faking orgasm before falling on the floor together to get real one... Then going back to pushing each other away again... Before falling in love!But not necessarily in this order.

You're The One by Mazarin221b (E, 21,768 + w. || WiP || Underage Dirty Dancing Fusion ||  Period Typical Homophobia, Sexism, Angst, Fluff) – John Watson is seventeen years old and has his life planned out: medical school, a commission, and an opportunity to change the world. He just has to get through three weeks at The Copper Beeches - a resort owned by one of his father's patients - with his annoying sister and his perfect parents before he's off to Cambridge. But John has a secret he's trying desperately to keep, and, it seems, so is just about everyone around him, including the incredibly gorgeous and amazing dance teacher, Sherlock Holmes, and his partner Irene Adler. Too bad Jim Moriarty seems to know precisely what everyone is hiding.

Into the Multiverse by AnAnYaH (M, 21,958 w., 18 Ch. || Avengers / Sherlock / Dr. Strange Crossover || Multiverses, Everstrange, Parentlock / Teenage Rosie, Sad Sherlock, Angry Sherlock, Sherlock/John Fight, Magic, Strange John, First Kiss, Whipping, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Threats of Rape / Non-Con, Mental Anguish, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst with Happy Ending) – Nothing lasts forever. I am beginning to think it's the same for you and me. In a world where we don't co-exist how long will it take to finally break us ? Or are we already broken in need of a fix ?A multi-chapter fic where Sherlock and John had to leave their lives to save the world from universal threats and pursue as Doctor Strange and Everett Ross.Will they ever reunite? Part 1 of the Everstrange series

Addicted to a Certain Lifestyle by KatsatheGraceling (M, 22,751 w., 1 Ch. || James Bond Crossover || Bondlock, BAMF John, Assassin John, Q is a Holmes, Clueless Sherlock, Omniscient Mycroft) – The one where John is a BAMF assassin. With an affinity for cuddly warm jumpers.

Impossible Improbable Truth by KaraRenee (M, 24,308 w., 9 Ch. || Labyrinth AU) – John and Sherlock take a case investigating the disappearance of a teenage girl and her toddler half brother. What they find is an impossible adventure that leads them on a journey of discovery of their sexuality.

The Art Of Seduction: A Study In Pulling by flawedamythyst (M, 25,279 w., 1 Ch. || Queer As Folk Inspired AU || John/OMC, Additional Tags to Be Added Upon Reading) – Sherlock ran a website called The Science Of Seduction, on which he gave advice on the best ways to get laid, wrote blog entries detailing the results of his various sexual 'experiments' and generally contributed to the stereotype of 'every gay man is a sex-mad playboy'. John avoided the thing like the plague. AU in which Sherlock treats sex like he does crime in canon. Inspired by Queer As Folk UK, but it very quickly went its own way. Part 1 of The Art Of Seduction

False Advertising by ravenscar (E, 27,722 w. || Office AU / Devil Wears Prada Inspired || Victor Trevor, Flashbacks, Hurt / Comfort, Angst with Happy Ending, Younger John/Older Sherlock, Marriage Proposal) – Sherlock is John’s boss and mentor at an advertising agency. Can they find love in the cut-throat workplace?

A Wizarding Barista's Field Guide to Seducing a Muggle by paradigmfinch (T, 29,344 w., 9 Ch || Harry Potter Coffee Shop AU || Wizard John, Muggle Sherlock, Bisexual John, Flirting, First Dates, Secret Identity) – To help pay for Healing tuition, John Watson gets a job at a coffee shop in Muggle London, where he soon sets his sights on a particularly gorgeous customer. John's seen plenty of Muggle films. How different can it really be to woo a Muggle?

Time Of My Life by fiveainley_ohmy (E, 29,719 w., 8 Ch. || Dirty Dancing Fusion || Bisexual John, Dancing, Gay/Demi Sherlock) – John Watson takes his alcoholic sister to a summer camp in attempt to rehabilitate her. He didn't expect to fall in love with the dance instructor.

Through Dangers Untold by hogwartswitch (E, 32,003 w., 13 Ch. || Labyrinth AU) – The Goblin King has fallen in love with John Watson and visits him in dreams. But the evil wizard who cursed the Goblin King cannot allow that to continue. Will John survive the labyrinth? Or will he become a lost goblin like all the rest?

Unsettled by AxeMeAboutAxinomancy (E, 33,879 w., 10 Ch. || HIs Dark Materials AU || Daemons, Dark Themes, Non-Con) – Sherlock's dæmon hadn't settled. Once John realised that, so much made sense. Though so much else didn't, because it practically wasn't possible. Part 1 of the The Utmost Edge of Hazard series

The Last Companion by standbygo (E, 34,101 w., 14 Ch. || Firefly Fusion || Prostitution, Case Fic, Falling in Love, Angst with Happy Ending, Slow Burn, BAMF John, Discussions of Non Con But Doesn’t Happen) – Thirty years after the Miranda Wars, there is peace, both on the Rim and the Core planets. There are a number of old social mores still in place, such as the Order of Companions, but there is a sense that even such respected practices are coming to an end… Sherlock is a Companion - the best Companion on Persephone. With a bit of detective work on the side, of course. Then he meets a man named John Watson, encounters a series of bizarre cases, and finds his world is getting turned upside down.

The Great Bakerstreet Bake Off by Elphen (M, 38,058 w., 8 Ch. || Great British Bake Off AU || Caring Sherlock, Sweet John, Fluff, Baking, Accidental Touching, Pining, BJ’s, Banter and Bickering, Oblivious Characters) – John has decided to watch The Great British Bake Off this year and he is determined to do so. As Sherlock joins him, he is certain that that plan is ruined. He's in for a surprise when he's allowed to watch it but the real shock comes when Sherlock decides they ought to bake themselves. What's more, they should bake what they make in the Bake Off. John's not so sure it's a good idea but when his insides flutter at the thought, he finds it hard to complain.

Toe to Toe by standbygo (E, 44,971 w., 26 Ch. || White Nights Crossover || Ballet/Dance, Slow Burn, Spies/Secret Agents, Angst with Happy Ending, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, First Kiss/Time, Shower Sex) – Sherlock Holmes is an international ballet star. After a favour for his brother goes south, he finds himself trapped in a foreign country, with a man named John Watson who could be an enemy... or an ally.

Silence by halloa_what_is_this (T, 44,993 w., 13 Ch. || The Piano Fusion || Victorian Sherlock, Dub Con, Voyeurism, Permanent Mutilation, Johniarty, Mute John) – In 1850, John is a mute young man forced to marry to save his father from indebtedness. His sister as his interpreter and his piano to keep him company, he travels to London to live with his husband James Moriarty. Without John's consent, James sells the piano to his friend Sherlock Holmes, who only asks for lessons from John in return. The lessons turn into a power play between the two when Sherlock proposes a deal: John may earn his piano back one key at a time, certain conditions attached. Part 1 of the Aborted Wings series

Crime is of the Essence by K8BNimble (M, 45,569 w., 18 Ch. || Harry Potter Crossover || Mystery, Slash) – When a man he hasn’t seen in almost ten years appears in his home with a man he thought was dead for twenty years, Harry Potter knew his evening had just gotten complicated. Written for Snarry Swap 2011. Named Hot Rec by "The Daily Snitch"1/18/2011. Snarry, past Harry/Sherlock. Long plotty mystery with light graphic slash sex.

Always 1895 by standbygo (E, 45,901 w., 19 Ch. || Oxford Time Travel AU || Time Travel, Friends to Lovers, Case Fic, Victorian, Period-Typical Homophobia, Pining, First Kiss/Time, First Meetings, Slow Burn, Angst With Happy Ending) – Time travelling historian John Watson goes to Victorian era England to study, and meets detective Sherlock Holmes. He finds himself torn between the work he was sent to do, the exciting life of solving crimes, and the extraordinary Holmes himself.

Curled (A Tangled AU) by crimsonwinter (G, 46,330 w., 13 Ch. || Tangled AU || Alternating POV) – Sherlock lives a limited life, high in a tower, and all he's wanted in eighteen years of isolation is to someday break free and see the floating lights. Somehow, a string of events leads him to John Watson, a surprisingly kind thief who steals his heart. Will they escape the selfish advances of Moriarty, Sherlock's paternal guardian, and will Sherlock find the meaning behind the silver lanterns?

The Boy Who Balanced on the Train Tracks by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (E, 54,894 w., 5 Ch. || Harry Potter Crossover || John/Snape, Period Typical Homophobia, Character Death, Underage Sexual Attraction, Sexual Awakening, Time Turner, First Time, Poverty, Domestic Abuse, Death Eaters, Canon-Typical Violence, Angst with Happy / Bittersweet Ending) – Every year, on the 2nd of May, John Watson dreams of long black hair.

Say You’ll Stay With Me by justacookieofacumberbatch (E, 63,349 w., 21 Ch. || Pretty Woman Fusion || Prostitution) – It was just supposed to be an ordinary business trip, but when John’s car stalls out on Hollywood Boulevard, he meets someone who just might change his life.

Whispers in Corners by esama (T, 64,402 w., 10 Ch. || Harry Potter Crossover || Deathly Hallows, Crossover Pairing) – Everything started with a stumble - his new life in a new world as well as his surprisingly successful career as a medium.

Masters of Ink by Indybaggins (E, 67,382 w., 7 Ch. || Ink Master Tattoo TV Show AU || Angst, Banter, Body Modification, Cheating, Desire, Developing Relationship, Disability, Falling in Love, Feels, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Married John, Past Drug Addiction, Pining, Requited Love, Sex, Slow Burn, Smoking, Tattoo Artist John, Tattoo Artist Sherlock) – First-meeting-on-a-reality-show AU, Ink Master edition! There is expert tattooing, slightly less expert flirting, and two men falling hard. But John is married, and they can’t all win.

The Craving in Between by love_in_mind_palace (E, 69,349 w., 16 Ch. || Wedding Planner AU || Infidelity, Romance, Angst with Happy Ending, Misunderstandings, Sexting & Texting, Alternating POV, Mary is Not Nice) – Sherlock Holmes, The wedding Consultant. Picky about his projects and a nightmare to work with. Rejects ninety percent of the couples after just having a look at them and can predict how long a marriage will last. But when unassuming, plain, John Watson reluctantly limps his way in his office, with his more than enthusiastic fiancée, Mary Morstan, instead of dismissing the ill-assorted couple on the spot, he promptly decides that the project, and the groom.. are definitely worth working on.

The Loss of Flesh and Soul by deuxexmycroft (M, 69,712 w., 6/8 Ch. || WiP || Silence of the Lambs Crossover || Serial Killers, One-Sided Relationship) – Five years after John Watson puts the murderous Sherlock Holmes behind bars, a vicious copycat killer emerges. A reluctant John is pulled out of retirement to seek the expertise of the only man who can help, a man who has developed an unsettling obsession with John himself. Part 1 of The Loss of Flesh and Soul

The Vampires of London by consultingdetective (E, 72,660 w., 21 Ch. || Dracula AU || Pining Sherlock, Army Doctor John, Sharing a Bed, Porn With Feelings, Plot Twists) –  Over one hundred years after the first battle, a series of murders have caught the attention of London's police force and Sherlock Holmes. While most of the city has forgotten the vampire that once walked its streets, the descendants of the Van Helsing, Harker, and Seward families have not.

Save Me or Let Me Drown by GubraithianFire (E, 72,986 w., 16 Ch. || Shameless AU || Dysfunctional Family, Alcoholism, Recreational Drug Use, Angst, Humour, Clubbing, Bipolar Disorder, Custody Battle, Mutual Pining, Family Fluff, Smut, Handcuffs, Anal Sex, Shower Sex, Rimming, Come Shot, Angst With Happy Ending) – How Sherlock escaped from his family, John sacrificed everything to his, and how, together, they built their own. Part 1 of the The Watsons series

This Is Your Song by agirlsname (E, 79,990 w., 19 Ch. || Moulin Rouge Fusion || Prostitute Sherlock, Poet John, Acting, Singing, Dancing, Writing, Poetry, Musical, Song Fic, Heavy Angst, Unreliable Narrator, Sherlock is French, Love at First Sight, UST, First Kiss/Time, Frottage, Coming in Pants, Anal Sex, Switchlock, Clothed Sex, Crossdressing, Secret Relationship, Forbidden Love, Jealousy, Terminal Illnesses, Grief/Mourning, Breakup/Makeup Sex, Past Drug Use, Attempted Rape, Canon-Typical Violence)– When John Watson is invalided home from the army in 1895, he moves to Paris to rediscover his writing and find a new meaning in life. His old friend Stamford invites him into a group of artist friends, and suddenly John finds himself auditioning to write a show for the famous brothel across the street. There, he meets the most beautiful man he’s ever seen - Sherlock, the star of the Moulin Rouge. But Sherlock is already promised to the investor of the show, the rich Duke Moriarty.

Sherlock, P.I. by Callie4180 (E, 83,264 w., 11 Ch. || Magnum P.I. Fusion || Past Relationships, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Canon-Typical Violence, Stalking, Creepy Moriarty) – For the Fall TV Sherlock fusion project. Sherlock, P.I. is an American television show that follows the exciting adventures of genius private investigator Sherlock Homes and his friends as they live their lives on the beautiful island of Oahu in Hawaii. Sherlock solves crimes as he wrestles with the ghosts and demons of his past.

Saudade by tunteeton (E, 96,952 w., 30 Ch. || After That Very Much AU || Case Fic, Non-Con Drug Use, Dubious Science, Canon Compliant up to THoB, John’s in Denial, Sub!Sherlock, Fake Non-Con Drug Use, Dom/Sub Relationship, Mutual Masturbation, Oral Sex, Kidnapping, Threatened Torture, Mary is Not Nice, Anal, Fluff, Non-Con Domming, Verbal Abuse, Slapping) – saudade (port.): a deep and melancholy longing for something or someone that is gone and not coming back. Homesickness, an emptiness in one’s soul, a love that remains after the loved one dies. John loses Sherlock, gains Sherlock and learns to never, ever, ever pray. Part 1 of the The Untranslatables series

Rosethorne by suitesamba (M, 98,888 w., 28 Ch. || Secret Garden AU || Injured Sherlock / John, Recovery, First Times, Minor Character Death, Disability, Past Domestic Abuse [Mary/OMC]) – John Watson, WWII army doctor, is injured in the line of duty and can no longer wield a scalpel. Sherlock Holmes, Britain’s best code-breaker, is side-lined by his own devastating injury. In a work inspired by Frances Hodgson Burnett’s “The Secret Garden,” the two men must find meaning and purpose in a world which seems to have taken away all they hold most dear. But of course, it really hasn’t.

Cake and Other Sins by  Indybaggins (E, 100,670 w. || Great British Bakeoff AU || Alternate First Meeting, Angst, Baking, Desire, Disability, Incest (Holmescest/Holmescest with John), Masturbation, Falling in Love, Oral, Outdoor Sex, Past Drug Use, Poisoning, Voyeurism) – Sherlock and John meet as competing bakers on The Great British Bake Off. There’s intense baking, lush recipes and enticing food. Mycroft, guilt, past sins in chocolate and gingerbread. And love. That too.

Fallen Through Time by susandwrites (E, 102,040+ w., 39/? Ch. || Outlander Fusion / Victorian AU || WIP || Time Travel, First Meetings, Meet-Cute, Frottage, Blow Jobs, Anal Sex/Fingering, Riding Crops, Rough Sex, Floor Sex, Breath Play, Light BDSM, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Switching, Romance, Sex to Love) – Inspired by my love of Outlander, but not exactly an Outlander AU. Sherlock Holmes, the world's only consulting detective, finds himself in Victorian London while investigating a murder. The first person he meets is Doctor John Watson, formerly of the Fifth Northumberland Fusiliers and his world is irrevocably altered.

Reichenbach Falls - Déjà vu by VeeTheRee (M, 180,436+ w., 29/303 Ch. || WiP ||Gravity Falls / Multifandom AU || Alternate First Meeting, Gay Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Unilock, Summer Romance/Love, Fluff, Insecure Sherlock, Villain Mary, First Kiss, Slow Burn, Doctor Who, Supernatural, Canadian John, French Canadian Lestrade, Insecure Sherlock, Mystery, Domestic Fluff, Developing Relationship Summer Love, Light Angst, BAMF! John, Case Fic) – Two Canadians, two Brits studying in Canada, and an upkeeper walk into a Mystery Shack…. and live there. Summer holidays are here, and the step-siblings, Irene Adler and Sherlock Holmes, find themselves in a boring town called Reichenbach Falls, Oregon, USA. It isn’t as boring as it seems, however, once Sherlock stumbles upon a mystery journal, and the author is unknown. The journal contains ciphers, a strange colour wheel, and information about magical creatures that are said to be looming in the Northwestern forests. With mysteries to solve in hand, he and Irene set out to get to the roots of the town, and the abrupt disappearance of the author of the journal. But they’re not alone - John Watson, quite the handsome nephew of the Mystery Shack owner Greg Lestrade, is on their side to help out, plus mess with Sherlock’s feelings, in a good way. Shenanigans, romance, fun, danger, and deductions ensue. Oh, and there’s also occasional SuperWhoLock and two dorky Winchester brothers to spark up the action later on. Part 1 of the Reichenbach Falls series

To the Sticking Place by blueink3 (E, 121,973 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Musical Theatre AU || Showmance, Friends to Lovers, Bickering, UST / RST, Fluff, Virgin Sherlock, BAMF John, New York City / Broadway) – Renowned Shakespearean actor Sherlock Holmes has finally burned all of his bridges in the theatre industry save for his constant director, Greg Lestrade. John Watson has made a name for himself in the musical theatre circuit, but age and injury are working against him. Can they reinvent themselves for an all-male Macbeth without killing one another? Part 1 of the Screw Your Courage series

Bel Canto by bendingsignpost (T, 127,481 w., 16 Ch. || Phantom of the Opera AU || Secret Identity, Sherlock’s Violin, Operas, Aristocracy, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Disguise, Inheritance, Genderqueer Character, Classical Music, Singing) – After years of waiting for wealthy patrons to faint, Dr John Watson discovers a far more interesting patient in the opera house basement.

Welcome to Silent Hill by Cleo2010 (M, 130,227 w., 37 Ch. || Silent Hill Fusion || POV First Person Sherlock, Unrequited Love, Psychological Horror, Violence / Gore, Monsters, Nudity, Drug Use, Harm to Children, Cults, Distressing Imagery, Torture, Death) – John is missing. When Sherlock receives a text summoning him to Silent Hill he's intent on reclaiming his friend but the town has other ideas. Our detective must battle through a world shaped by his own troubled psyche as he uncovers the town's secrets, attempts to find John and hunt down Jim Moriarty. Part 1 of the Welcome to Silent Hill series

Drift Compatible by J_Baillier (E, 130,380 w., 26 Ch. || Pacific Rim Fusion || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Alternate First Meeting, Angst, Family Drama, Accidental Telepathic Voyeurism, Martial Arts, Sci-Fi, Internalised Homophobia, Rubbish Siblings, Army Doctor John, Medical H/C, Bullying, Neurodiversity, PTSD, Drug Use, Depression, Mourning, Adventure, Hurt/Comfort, UST/URT) – A washed out war hero struggling with his past. A prodigy who wants nothing to do with his family legacy. Both are looking for something—and someone—worth fighting for in a world where human civilisation is constantly under threat.

Out There by DiscordantWords (T, 131,695 w., 10 Ch. || X-Files Fusion || Slow Burn, UST, Case Fic, Government Conspiracy, Aliens, UFOs, Mutants, Mutual Pining, First Kiss, Coma) – FBI Special Agent John Watson, medical doctor and army veteran, is assigned to assist eccentric genius Sherlock Holmes with paranormal investigations on the X-Files project.

Omens On Baker Street Series by WorseOmens (NR, 155,294+ w. across 3 works || Series WiP || Sherlock / Good Omens Crossover || Post S4 Sherlock, BAMF Aziraphale, Soft Crowley, Jealous Crowley, Fluff, Angst, General Idiocy, Misunderstandings, Crimes, Humour, Pining, Crimes, Magical Shenanigans, Unlikely Friendships, ?Slow Burn, True Forms, Ineffable Dads, South Downs) – Sherlock and John are no longer the only crime-solving disaster duo in London. After Sherlock unknowingly wrongs a demon, he finds himself with two mysterious rivals in the detective scene. For Crowley and Aziraphale, it's just a bit of fun, but they end up learning more about human nature than they bargained for.

Skeletons by flawedamythyst (T, 174,262 w. across 3 works || Nightmare Before Christmas Fusion ||  Implied Character Death) – Sherlock's refusal to talk about his past hides far more skeletons than John could ever have guessed at. Halloween-esque AU.

In the Deep, Where Dark Things Sleep by HardlyFair (M, 184,979 w., 26 Ch. || Scorpio Races AU || Graphic Violence, 1960′s, Slow Burn, Past Drug Use, Bed Sharing, Water Horses, Folklore, First Kiss/Time, Horror Elements, Vet!John, Protective John, Magical Realism, Horse Racing, Mutual Pining, Angst with Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort) – The closer time crawls to November, the more water horses the Scorpio Sea spits out. The colder Thisby becomes. Sherlock Holmes is an islander - completely surrounded by the water. John Watson, he knows, comes from the mainland and lives for the Races. On the first of November, Sherlock will race. The man holding steady by his side is someone he never expects. A Scorpio Races AU (Maggie Stiefvater), but no knowledge of the book needed.

Rom-com adaptations... Series by MorganeUK (T, 211,229+ w across 8 works || Series WiP || Assorted Crossovers || Rom-Coms, Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Friendship, Additional Tags Per Story) –  Mostly Johnlock with Mystrade or Lestrolly. If you want a movie to be johnlocked, let me know :-) Each story is completely different from the other!

Enigma by khorazir (M, 289,667 w., 23 Ch. || Codebreaker / WWII / Imitation Game-Inspired AU || Case Fic, Espionage, Period-Typical Homophobia / Sexism, Pining Sherlock, Inexperienced / VirginSherlock, Implied / Referenced Drug Use, Non-Graphic Violence) – It’s the autumn of 1941, war is raging in Europe, German U-boats are raiding Allied convoys in the Atlantic, the Luftwaffe is bombing English cities, and the cryptographers at Bletchley Park are working feverishly to decode their enemies' encrypted communications. One should consider this challenge and distraction enough for capricious codebreaker Sherlock Holmes. But the true enigmas are yet waiting to be deciphered: an unbreakable code, a strange murder, and the arrival of Surgeon Captain John H. Watson of the Royal Navy.

Over/Under Series by khorazir (M, 319,561 w. across 5 works || Cabin Pressure Crossover || Post-S2 / Reichenbach, ReunionFriendship, Angst, Humour, Pining, Cycling, Mountains, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Dev. Rel., Case Fic, First Kiss, Pining, Family Issues, Inexperienced Sherlock) – After his Fall, Sherlock travels the world to destroy what remains of James Moriarty's criminal empire. When things don't go according to plan and he finds himself in desperate need of a discreet means of travel, cue MJN Air ...

[skepticalarrie]

Oii Allie, ainda falando sobre o suposto vídeo de Harry beijando as duas garotas, eu acho nojento o quanto alguns fãs do Harry continuaram insistindo nesse vídeo mesmo que fosse desmentido só porque queriam reafirmar a imagem de mulherengo héterossexual dele. é tão estúpido a forma que eles agem em relação a sexualidade do Harry, forçando o tempo inteiro uma imagem que claramente o Harry não se sente confortável porque a mídia criou isso pra ele desde muito jovem, apenas porque odeiam a idéia de que ele possa estar em um relacionamento com um homem (mesmo que eles neguem isso até a morte e usem larries pra se defender). Eu costumava me sentir um pouco mal por ouvir que "larries forçam sexualidade" mas não é engraçado o quanto essas pessoas preferem acreditar que o Harry dorme com inúmeras mulheres (loiras, magras e etc) e faz '"Pink Money" do que acreditar que ele possa ser gay ou estar apaixonado por um homem?

Honestamente, eu espero que um dia essas pessoas acordem e evoluam.

Eu acho que não tem absolutamente nada de errado em viver a vida e dar beijos triplos no rolê, transar com várias mulheres… se está tudo claro e combinado com os seus parceiros, eu sou a favor de se jogar e viver a vida mesmo. É isso aí. Mas você tocou em um ponto muito importante, anon, o Harry já falou em diversas situações através dos anos como ele não é confortável com esse “título” que implica ele ser essa pessoa. Ele não gosta e isso é inegável, larry sendo real ou não. Então esse vídeo sendo compartilho dessa forma é muito frustrate porque isso não é um vídeo de tabloid, não tem relações públicas envolvido, isso é são os próprios fãs publicando e incentivando essa imagem dele. E ainda por cima mostrando frustração pq se projetam no lugar dessa menina. E sem falar da ironia, porque eu tenho certeza absoluta que essas são as mesmas pessoas falando querendo ganhar o prêmio de fã do ano e dizendo que larries estão “forçando uma sexualidade” nele. Isso 👏🏻 não 👏🏻 existe. Não é possível forçar homossexualidade nas pessoas, isso não é uma questão quando ser gay é tão marginalizado. Não existe opressão para heterossexuais. A única coisa que se força o é o “padrão” o “normal” e o “aceitável”. Que é exatamente o que está acontecendo.

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English translation

Anon said: Hi Allie, still talking about the supposed video of Harry kissing the two girls, I find it disgusting how much some of his fans keep pushing this video, even if it was debunked they would keep pushing just because they want to reaffirm his het womanizer image. it's so stupid the way they act towards Harry's sexuality, forcing an image that Harry clearly isn't comfortable with because the media created it for him from a very young age, just because they hate the idea that he might be in a relationship with a man (even if they deny it to the death and use larries to defend themselves). I used to feel a little bad hearing that "larries force sexuality" but isn't funny how much these people would rather believe that Harry sleeps with countless women (blonde, skinny, etc) and does '"Pink Money" than believe that can he be gay or be in love with a man?

Honestly, I hope someday these people will wake up and get better.

I think there's absolutely nothing wrong with living your life and having fun with triple kisses at the club and having sex with several women… if everyone involved is down for it, it's great, go ahead and live your fucking life however you want. But you just hit the nail on the head here, anon, Harry said and implied several times over the years how he's not comfortable with this label of being the ladies guy. He doesn't like it and that's undeniable whether Larry is real or not. So this video being shared the way it is, is very frustrating because this is not a tabloid video, it's no PR, this is the fans themselves publishing and encouraging this image. Plus being openly frustrated because they're project themselves on the girl. And not to mention the irony, because I'm pretty sure these are the same people trying to win the best fan award and saying that larries are “forcing a sexuality” on him. This 👏🏻 is 👏🏻 not 👏🏻 a 👏🏻 thing. It's not possible to force queerness on people, that's not an issue when being gay is so marginalized. There is no oppression for heterosexuals. The only thing that is forced is what is considered “default”, the “normal” and the “acceptable”. Which is exactly what is happening.

[transsexualhamlet]

Sherlock Holmes Reactions As A Flaming Homosexual (part 5 lmao)

Again I will be putting this shit under the cut because it's gonna be So Long and also fair warning for sherlock is in fact a raging drug addict and I have a lot of yknow parts that talk about that so tread with caution but hi i am once again yelling. keep in mind i am deliriously ill while writing this one but i think i sound. just about as insane as usual. maybe it's a bit less organized tho lol

OK FIRST I WILL STATE IT SOMEHOW DID NOT COME TO MY ATTENTION FIRST READING SIGN OF FOUR THAT WATSON APPARENTLY F U C K S

like i think it's so funny that most people will look at those two and definitely think it's the other way around but no. sherlocks a virgin and watson has had sex with every woman ever and probably not limited to women

and another thing I somehow missed the first time around in sign of four. sherlock sherlock please honey this is serious get help

TH

THREE TIMES A GODDAMN DAY???? SHERLOCK I AM BEGGING YOU TO STOP HOW IS THIS MAN ALIVE

Funniest thing is that watson tells him to stop and hes like Watson i Only do drugs when the Newspaper is boring

is the newspaper boring three times a day sherlock. is it really

And at the same time sherlock checks the paper like a goddamn phone notification he'll just run out and get the latest version to see if anything's changed just like on the hour. Wow that man is not neurotypical.

poor watson tbh

why are these men just batshit fucking insane I love them

So yeah back to some random funny bits i got from reading a ton of the short stories

Ok i must say it's quite funny just my experience being either reading something about sherlock and watson and going awww they're in love or just violently yelling S H E R L O C K

Cause i was like reading a bit where watson was talking about how he was on a nice little walk with sherlock, you know, the kind of walk where no one talks but it's really comfortable and you know only people who know each other Very Intimately like him and sherlock are that well together and i was just like aww

And then three seconds later I'm laughing my ass off about "how did you know my name" "IT WAS ON YOUR HAT"

SDHFDHHDFHFDS AND ALSO THAT TIME WHEN SHERLOCK JUST COMPLETELY GODDAMN MISREAD A SITUATION AND MADE UP THIS CONSPIRACY ABOUT LIKE A SECRET HUSBAND WHOS DEATH HAD BEEN FAKED AND THEN IT WAS JUST OH NO MY KID'S BLACK WHATEVER SHALL I DO

AND BECAUSE HE WAS SO EMBARASSED ABOUT IT HES LIKE WATSON IF I EVER MAKE UP SOME DUMB SHIT LIKE THAT AGAIN FEEL FREE TO CALL ME A FUCKING IDIOT and wow thats the most humble thing hes ever done

And then he starts saying shit like "i hope your marriage doesn't change anything between us" like damn shawty what is that supposed to mean /homosexual

I also love how bc watson is the only one writing it when sherlock is talking about something that happened to him in the past with quotes and stuff there's just like seven fucking quotation marks around each other im dying

SGBDFSNNDSGNSFNFDSDFS I THOUGHT THE SHOOTING THE WALL THING WAS A YUUMORI SPECIFIC THING NO HE JUST DOES IT FOR FUN AND NOT JUST ONCE LIKE HE MAKES ART OUT OF THE FUCKING BULLET HOLES HE WAS MAKING BULLET HOLE ART OF QUEEN VICTORIA PLEASE IM CRYING AND HUDSON WAS LIKE STOP??? SHOOTING THE WALL??? AND HES LIKE SHAWTY IM ALMOST DONE CALM DOWN

And when they make him clean his goddamn room im losing my mind why does he keep random shit from his old cases "in case it comes in handy" and "to remember that time i solved that thing" i am going to throw marie kondo at you

BASFBGHDFSHGFHFSDHHDSFDS IM NOT EVEN SURPRISED THIS HAPPENED BUT ITS SO FUNNY WHEN HE JUST GOT SO HYPERFIXATED ON A CASE THAT HE JUST FUCKING. WORKED ON IT 15 HRS A DAY FOR TWO MONTHS AND THEN GOT SO EXHAUSTED AND SICK THAT WATSON HAD TO TAKE CARE OF HIM AND TAKE HIM TO THE SEASIDE TO GET BETTER LIKE HE GOT VICTORIAN WOMAN DISEASE AND SOMEONE IMMEDIATELY FUCKING GOT MURDERED RIGHT NEXT DOOR AND WATSONS JUST LIKE. HHHHHHHHHHH FINE I SUPPOSE YOU JUST FUCKING KILL YOURSELF AGAIN ALL THIS IS FOR NOTHING IM TRYING SO GODDAMN HARD

I feel so bad for him, hes just trying so hard to keep this idiot alive and it is Not Working

Ok so like this is something Im still absolutely reeling over because it's like. it doesn't even seem real to me but the fact that Sherlock has multiple times just like gone to watson's house in the middle of the night, climbed up his goddamn wall and into his window, been like "you better not be busy" and started Talking

Like. Man's in his nightgown and just sees this fucker climbing in the window like "WATSON WATSON YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT I FOUND" and not just that. he's like "I only came in because you don't fucking sleep with your wife and it appears that you don't have any men in here either so I thought it was ok" LIKE ONE, WTF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN SHERLOCK WHY WOULD HE HAVE OTHER MEN IN HIS BEDROOM SEHGIHO:EWOHO:GHE BUT TWO, WHYYY ARE THEY GAY

He didn't even fucking ask or say he was gonna do that no watson just has no clue when hes gonna show up and start remarking upon watson's appearance what even. homosexuals

Sherlock honestly just baffles me sometimes.

Oh, also, I read the one with Mycroft in it, and wow, is the man just as boring as he is in yuumori. That's just hilarious that sherlock is this absolutely insane man and then in contrast his older brother Pays Money to Sit In A Completely Silent Room and Read The Paper

It's so funny how he's like. Straight up even smarter than sherlock but no one gives a shit about him because he just. Is so fucking boring and antisocial

Like, we don't know anything about Sherlock's childhood but like. Part of me wants to think that it must have been absolutely insane and then Mycroft's rebellious stage was to just be fucking boring. Like. I would believe that. Just imagine that

I am going to make the final problem stuff its own post just cause I went absolutely insane over it but yea this was certainly an experience

[povestotrischane]

oh! tl;dr, medieval gawaine's characterization generally falls somewhere on one of those triangle alignment charts (you know the one) between "clever", "slutty" and "charismatic", and dev patel's gawaine definitely falls somewhere on that chart, le morte d'arthur gawaine and chretein de troyes's gawaine fall on the chart as well,

the major outlier to the gawaine chart however, is gawiane from sir gawain and the green knight (sgatgk), the source material for the green knight 2021, who is. uh. young and naive. it's commonly theorized that sgatgk is meant to be baby's first quest bc of the stark contrast between the gawaine of sgatgk and Every Other Medieval Gawaine.

as for walewein, gawaine in the dutch tradition, the chart starts to fall apart a little bc despite him being clever, slutty and charasmatic, his key trait is being absolutely murder-feral all the fucking time. like, the other gawaines, save for sgatgk gawaine, all commit lots of murder, and like to commit murder, but they aren't muder-feral. le morte gawaine comes the closest to murder-feral towards the end of le morte d'arthur but there's a reason behind it that can be understood, walewein is just Like That with no clear cause. dev patel's gawaine just doesn't seem like he has that in him.

as for your tags, as the most illiterate member of arthurian tumblr I Get It, in your situation i'd recommend going for the tumblr-osmosis route by just hanging around arthurian tumblr and getting secondhand knowledge that way bc the few summaries out there aren't exactly. that good, the best i can think of off the top of my head is camelot project's character summaries and even then the only truly good one is bedevere's, also monty python's holy grail is the only good movie adaptation of arthuriana (i omit tgk bc i need to watch it again and reread a couple things). general advice i'd give anyone though are

a). don't read le morte d'arthur it's boring, if you must, i've heard good things about the keith baines version, untranslated middle english Isn't Worth It for this one,

b). 98% of modern arthurian works are awful, steer clear of anything based off the works of marion zimmer bradley or th white though bc those two are Particularly pervasive and also have awful takes, tennyson is generally good but he has bad takes on tristan and isolde, also his stuff is all poems,

c). dismiss any ideas of arthuriana being a mythology, same with morgan le fay being gawaine/modred/any of their siblings' mother (or arthur's lover... ew.), lancelot and arthur being close (lancelot Does Not give a shit about him), morgause/anna/whatever her name is this week (gawaine, modred & co's actual mother) being a bad mother (even arthurian tumblr can be pretty bad about this one, th white came up with it bc he hated his mother), merlin being someone to root for, or arthur being that great a guy in advance

d). if you plan to actually read med lit, the byelorussian tristan (link <3) is the best one, tristanmydes my beloveds, i'm biased on this though bc it's my favorite, other good (and shorter) starter texts (ommiting the poems i'd usually recommend) include culwch ac olwen (one of, if not THE, earliest arthurian stories, it's peak welsh kei which is fun bc i like kei especially in the early stuff) and lancelot and the hart with the white foot (gawaine (walewein) hijacks it but it's ok bc he's gay about it, it's a poem but it doesn't feel like a poem. if you just put all the lines together like prose it'd be fine, that link is to a site by my former mutual rey reynier who doesn't use this site anymore which hosts scans of various texts. this isn't relevant i just need to give credit where it's due bc rey's the backbone of arthurian tumblr to this day)

e). for some reason a lot of people think arthuriana is the only old literary tradition that isn't gay? sebile and morgan are canon lesbians (wikipedia says they're referred to as lovers in a text no one around here can find a translation of), there's academia on palomydes's bisexuality, i like to say he has two swords bc of this, (he does actually have two swords in the byelorussian tristan), as well as galahad's asexuality (hence my url), a character (galehaut) exists to solely be gay for lancelot and there's even academia about it (he also basically asks tristan to join his marriage. to lancelot. in the byelorussian tristan), there's lancelot and gawaine's Everything. just trust me on this one they're either qpps or boyfriends depending on how you choose to read it, lancelot is super trans, gawaine is easily read as aro, there's a lot more but these are the big undeniable ones

and f). every once in a while someone will post a complete retelling of le morte/some hybrid of le morte and other chunks of the tradition on ao3 and it's. not a bad way to get into it. wait a couple months and there'll be a non-chronological retelling of the vulgate with other random pieces of the tradition thrown in for fun that's set in space. tristan, isolde and palomydes are polyamorous in it. don't ask me how i know this.

i think dev patel's gawaine is definitely a gawaine but not a sgatgk gawaine, he's more of a le morte gawaine, or a chretien gawaine, probably not a walewein though.

[redbeantofu]

hey as a numb person who reads fanfic to f e e l literally anything thx for th blessing that is HSIYA🚰

thank you for reading!!! i too have an unquenchable thirst for positive relationships :^D

i’m a little confused about this last part of the ask though? i’m not entirely sure where you got the idea that homophobia will play a big role in hot singles in your area. (if that is what you’re referring to?) i don’t believe it’s part of the narrative at all- the main thing so far has been “he’s a phone sex operator and i’m a client, there’s no way he has feelings for me,” not “we’re both guys”. i'm not sure if you meant my fic in particular or society in general - if it's the latter i totally agree! in any case, i’m very much an advocate for a homophobia-free world in fiction, bc i know how important it is to normalize a place of acceptance and love.

[sbnkalny]

birdrobot:  Repeat and end with either mozzarella cheese (6 lbs.)

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garbage-empress:  Repeat and end with either mozzarella cheese or meat sauce 6 (6 oz.) cans tomato sauce 6 c C?? 👀 👌👌 gute scheisse 👌 es ist ✔ einige gute 👌👌scheisse alldort 👌👌👌 alldort ✔✔ wenn ich so sagen darf 💯 so ist es💯 das ist, Was im reden alldort alldort (chor: alldort) mMMMMᎷM💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👀 👋👋Not outstanding shit and i approve™ and you find Geoffrey

garbage-empress: Did someone say l e g a b c d e f g h i c C?? 👀 👌👌 gute scheisse 👌 es ist ✔ einige gute 👌👌scheisse alldort 👌👌👌 alldort ✔✔ wenn ich so sagen darf 💯 so ist es💯 das ist, Was im reden alldort alldort (chor: alldort) mMMMMᎷM💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👋👋Not outstanding shit gay sHit👭 thats 👬 some gay👭👭shit right👭👭th 👭 ere👭👭👭 right👬there 👬👬if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 🎃🎃 🎃НO0ОଠＯOOＯOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ🎃 🎃 🎃 💯 🎃 👻👻 👻 🎃🎃spooky shit and youre angry at me and idk what i want do it in both its unity and its giving me an aneurysm.

garbage-empress: T h i c C?? 👀 👌👌 gute scheisse 👌 es ist ✔ einige gute 👌👌scheisse alldort 👌👌👌 alldort ✔✔ wenn ich so sagen darf 💯 so ist es💯 das ist, Was im reden alldort alldort (chor: alldort) mMMMMᎷM💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👋👋Not outstanding shit and i approve™ and you find Geoffrey.

gronnowl: So Megabnkalny... is she t h i c C?? 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit did i put on the dong be with you! ☚(ﾟヮﾟ☚) Ѱζ༼ᴼل͜ᴼ༽ᶘѰ hit it with football? everywhere you go, football! go there, football! football football football! like what the devil but put me yesterday me know you're fucking crazy right!

blargensnorf: Kalny!!!!!! you're back!!!!!!!! i missed you so much as that told by the ghost of david bowie though he has left me a lone for the time being isnt that a donger in your tags?So Megabnkalny... is she t h i c C?? 👀 👀 👋👋Not outstanding shit modera̷̶te shit 👋 thats some alright 👋👋shit right 👋👋 th 👋 ere 👋👋👋 right 🆗 there 🆗 if i do ƽaү so my selｆ🆗 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ 🆗 👋 👋👋НO0ОଠＯOOＯOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ 👋 👋👋 👋 🆗 👋 👀 👀 👀 👀 👌👌 gute scheisse 👌 es ist ✔ einige gute 👌👌scheisse alldort 👌👌👌 alldort ✔✔ wenn ich so sagen darf 💯 so ist es💯 das ist, Was im reden alldort alldort (chor: alldort) mMMMMᎷM💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit but they're thousands of miles away hoping something happens to make bart-kuns weeb sandwich

blargensnorf: Kalny!!!!!! you're back!!!!!!!! i missed you very much, robot beefs.░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ▄▄▒░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▒▄▄██▀░░ ▒▀██▄▒░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀░▒▀█▀░░░ ░░▒▀░░▀▄░░░░░░░░░█░░░▄▀░░░░░ ░░░▒▀▄░░▀▒▀▀▀▀▀▀▒░░▄▀░░░░░░░ ░░░░░▄▒▀░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▒░░░░░░ ░░░▒▀▄▀▄░░░░░░▄▀█▄░░░▀▒░░░░░ ░░▒▀░▀█▀░░░░░░▀██▀░░░░▀▒░░░░ ░▄█▄░░░░░▄░░░░░░░▄▓▀▄░░▀▒░░░ ░█▀▓▀░▄░░▄▄░░░▄░░░▀▀░░░░█░░░ ▄█░░░░░▀▀░░▀▀▀░░░░▄▄░░░░░█░░ █▒▀▄░░▄▄▄▄▄░░░░░▄▀▒█▀░░░░█░░ ░▀▄░▄▀▒▒▒▒▒▀▄░░░░▄▀░░░░░░▓█░ ░█░█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█░░▄░░░░░░░▓▓█░ ░█░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░▒░░░░░░▄▓▀░█░ ░█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█░░░░░░░░░░░█░ oooo t h i c C?? 👀 👋👋Not outstanding shit and went up to this hot ass chick named dennis yes she is female and i fapped all in front of the bathroom, and he started to cry tears of blood down my entire south wall of my resume and i am going to hug the seal and/or sea lion if they guess right they get to hug you Bennidict Cumberbatch?

garbage-empress: A b c d e f g h i c C?? 👀 👀 👀 👋👋Not outstanding shit gay sHit👭 thats 👬 some gay👭👭shit right👭👭th 👭 ere👭👭👭 right👬there 👬👬if i do ƽaү so my selｆ 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ 🆗 👋 👋👋НO0ОଠＯOOＯOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ 👋 👋👋 👋 🆗 👋 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit 👋 thats some alright 👋👋shit right 👋👋 th 👋 ere 👋👋👋 right 🆗 there 🆗 if i did he know you can possibly have while playing an app!

birdrobot: ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ▄▄▒░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▒▄▄██▀░░ ▒▀██▄▒░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀░▒▀█▀░░░ ░░▒▀░░▀▄░░░░░░░░░█░░░▄▀░░░░░ ░░░▒▀▄░░▀▒▀▀▀▀▀▀▒░░▄▀░░░░░░░ ░░░░░▄▒▀░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▒░░░░░░ ░░░▒▀▄▀▄░░░░░░▄▀█▄░░░▀▒░░░░░ ░░▒▀░▀█▀░░░░░░▀██▀░░░░▀▒░░░░ ░▄█▄░░░░░▄░░░░░░░▄▓▀▄░░▀▒░░░ ░█▀▓▀░▄░░▄▄░░░▄░░░▀▀░░░░█░░░ ▄█░░░░░▀▀░░▀▀▀░░░░▄▄░░░░░█░░ █▒▀▄░░▄▄▄▄▄░░░░░▄▀▒█▀░░░░█░░ ░▀▄░▄▀▒▒▒▒▒▀▄░░░░▄▀░░░░░░▓█░ ░█░█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█░░▄░░░░░░░▓▓█░ ░█░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░▒░░░░░░▄▓▀░█░ ░█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█░░░░░░░░░░░█░ oooo t h i c C?? 👀 👀 👋👋Not outstanding shit and youre angry at me and try to unleash her, the last time Was incredibly frustrating :^y

birdrobot: T h i c C?? 👀 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit and went up to this hot ass chick named dennis yes she is female and i fapped all in front of his head?

birdrobot: M e g a b c d e f g h i c C?? 👀 👀 👌👌 gute scheisse 👌 es ist ✔ einige gute 👌👌scheisse alldort 👌👌👌 alldort ✔✔ wenn ich so sagen darf 💯 so ist es💯 das ist, Was im reden alldort alldort (chor: alldort) mMMMMᎷM💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌there👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👋👋Not outstanding shit

garbage-empress: ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ▄▄▒░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▒▄▄██▀░░ ▒▀██▄▒░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀░▒▀█▀░░░ ░░▒▀░░▀▄░░░░░░░░░█░░░▄▀░░░░░ ░░░▒▀▄░░▀▒▀▀▀▀▀▀▒░░▄▀░░░░░░░ ░░░░░▄▒▀░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▒░░░░░░ ░░░▒▀▄▀▄░░░░░░▄▀█▄░░░▀▒░░░░░ ░░▒▀░▀█▀░░░░░░▀██▀░░░░▀▒░░░░ ░▄█▄░░░░░▄░░░░░░░▄▓▀▄░░▀▒░░░ ░█▀▓▀░▄░░▄▄░░░▄░░░▀▀░░░░█░░░ ▄█░░░░░▀▀░░▀▀▀░░░░▄▄░░░░░█░░ █▒▀▄░░▄▄▄▄▄░░░░░▄▀▒█▀░░░░█░░ ░▀▄░▄▀▒▒▒▒▒▀▄░░░░▄▀░░░░░░▓█░ ░█░█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█░░▄░░░░░░░▓▓█░ ░█░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░▒░░░░░░▄▓▀░█░ ░█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█░░░░░░░░░░░█░ oooo t h i c C?? 👀 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit spooky sHit🎃 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌there👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my selｆ 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 🎃🎃 🎃НO0ОଠＯOOＯOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ🎃 🎃 🎃 💯 🎃 👻👻 👻 🎃🎃spooky shit did i put my big stupid pill case for morons who take idiot pills? i need ideas for a scp foundation entry

garbage-empress: ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ▄▄▒░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▒▄▄██▀░░ ▒▀██▄▒░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀░▒▀█▀░░░ ░░▒▀░░▀▄░░░░░░░░░█░░░▄▀░░░░░ ░░░▒▀▄░░▀▒▀▀▀▀▀▀▒░░▄▀░░░░░░░ ░░░░░▄▒▀░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▒░░░░░░ ░░░▒▀▄▀▄░░░░░░▄▀█▄░░░▀▒░░░░░ ░░▒▀░▀█▀░░░░░░▀██▀░░░░▀▒░░░░ ░▄█▄░░░░░▄░░░░░░░▄▓▀▄░░▀▒░░░ ░█▀▓▀░▄░░▄▄░░░▄░░░▀▀░░░░█░░░ ▄█░░░░░▀▀░░▀▀▀░░░░▄▄░░░░░█░░ █▒▀▄░░▄▄▄▄▄░░░░░▄▀▒█▀░░░░█░░ ░▀▄░▄▀▒▒▒▒▒▀▄░░░░▄▀░░░░░░▓█░ ░█░█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█░░▄░░░░░░░▓▓█░ ░█░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░▒░░░░░░▄▓▀░█░ ░█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█░░░░░░░░░░░█░ oooo t h i c C?? 👀 👋👋Not outstanding shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌there👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ 🆗 👋 👀 👀 👋👋Not outstanding shit and went up to the roof of the building where he left his motorcycle and normal people close because he Was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, Pink fishnets and stuff, so i bet hummus isnt even good day u precious robotic child if you arent a girl)

blargensnorf: ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ▄▄▒░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▒▄▄██▀░░ ▒▀██▄▒░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀░▒▀█▀░░░ ░░▒▀░░▀▄░░░░░░░░░█░░░▄▀░░░░░ ░░░▒▀▄░░▀▒▀▀▀▀▀▀▒░░▄▀░░░░░░░ ░░░░░▄▒▀░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▒░░░░░░ ░░░▒▀▄▀▄░░░░░░▄▀█▄░░░▀▒░░░░░ ░░▒▀░▀█▀░░░░░░▀██▀░░░░▀▒░░░░ ░▄█▄░░░░░▄░░░░░░░▄▓▀▄░░▀▒░░░ ░█▀▓▀░▄░░▄▄░░░▄░░░▀▀░░░░█░░░ ▄█░░░░░▀▀░░▀▀▀░░░░▄▄░░░░░█░░ █▒▀▄░░▄▄▄▄▄░░░░░▄▀▒█▀░░░░█░░ ░▀▄░▄▀▒▒▒▒▒▀▄░░░░▄▀░░░░░░▓█░ ░█░█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█░░▄░░░░░░░▓▓█░ ░█░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░▒░░░░░░▄▓▀░█░ ░█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█░░░░░░░░░░░█░ oooo t h i c C?? 👀 👌👌 gute scheisse 👌 es ist ✔ einige gute 👌👌scheisse alldort 👌👌👌 alldort ✔✔ wenn ich so sagen darf 💯 so ist es💯 das ist, Was im reden alldort alldort (chor: alldort) mMMMMᎷM💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit and youre angry at me and try to translate it into my face!!!! then i put on the dong ༼ ºل͟º ༽ i am a dong ༼ ºل͟º༽ i didn't know you knew katakana, kudos! i just woke up hi kalny, i hope you're doing really well, you're one of my sims is having a wild skype call with the lads at night) so yeah can you bless the rains down in africa?

[broke-on-books]

DONT PUT MY FAVORITE CHARACTER ON A SIDE MISSION WITH TWO BORING PIECES OF SHIT

She's the most iconic and gayest of the dumbasses we've seen so far and you're stealing her screentime? Scandalous

(I totally essayed in the tags rip)