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Theory of Love Romcom Rewatch Episode 8: The Proposal (2009)

Once again I am watching Theory of Love because @lurkingshan gets specific pleasure out of making me change my mind about this show. This week we’re continuing with The Proposal (2009), an American romcom starring Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds. As usual, I had not actually seen this one before, but I actually liked this one! @twig-tea compared the experience of two people being in different places emotionally in their relationship to the current state of Theory of Love. @lurkingshan commented on how Theory of Love continues to buck the trend of fast resolution in romances by putting Khai through the ringer.

The Proposal (2009)

The Proposal (2009) tells the story of a fraudulent engagement between Margaret (Sandra Bullock) and her assistant Andrew (Ryan Reynolds) when Margaret faces deportation for failure to maintain proper visa status. Margaret the the high-powered editor-in-chief of a publishing firm, and is loathed by her reports and colleagues because of her high standards. Andrew agrees to go along with the proposal if she’ll promote him to editor. Hijinks ensue as Margaret has to travel to Alaska with Andrew to meet his family, only to learn that he is  an “Alaskan Kennedy” with daddy issues. Over the course of a weekend, Margaret and Andrew bond, fall in love, and decide to date for real. 

I genuinely enjoyed this film, which honestly didn’t surprise me. Sandy B and Ryan Reynolds have ample charisma to spare for an outing like this, especially when they get to play off veterans like Betty White. The film accomplished a lot to undercut Margaret’s initial read on Andrew when they reached his hometown, as she realized that his family essentially owns the town and lives in a massive mansion. Importantly, the show navigates the renegotiation of power and boundaries in their relationship as they try to make this farce work, showing that Margaret is willing to compromise for her goals. 

That being said, it was super dissonant to watch a film about an impending deportation romance right after a Canadian woman recently went through this hell. I also didn’t think this film did much to inform what’s going on with Theory of Love at this point.

Theory of Love Episode 8

We’re getting into the final run of a GMMTV show, so it was bound to get a bit slow and bloated. In this episode, Khai is struggling to rebuild his friendship with Third and initiate a romance with him, and spirals badly as he fears losing Third’s affections to Un. Much happened with the sides this week that I found exhausting and boring, except for a car joke I seem to enjoy every time. However, I am still glad we got to see Khai facing the devastating consequences of his actions. 

I think what annoys me most about the sides this time, beyond how much time they take up, is that there’s so little value in them. Un and Two eventually becoming a thing only feels like it’s here to keep audiences from liking Un and Third as a pair over Khai. The show wants to be able to quickly slide Un off onto another boy when they’re ready for Khai and Third to fully reconcile. Likewise, giving Bone a whole side romance was probably designed to add depth and complexity to his character and the group as a whole, but it mostly feels like a separate show happening and I just don’t care. 

I am enjoying the climb Khai has to make on his way to a romance with Third. I like that he’s struggling with how to show his devotion to Third when he’s got years of broken relationships behind him. It’s also enjoyable to see Un throw that back in his face when he tries to insinuate that Un can’t be faithful. I’m curious to see how I feel about Khai since I’ve actually disliked Third more on this watch. 

One of the things we talked about in the watch party after this episode is that Third is genuinely kinda mean. He doesn’t really seem that aware of other people’s emotions. He doesn’t seem to have a ton of interactions with other members of the crew, and there was a notable scene in which Khai was clearly upset and crying that Third didn’t seem to appreciate as a crisis moment for his friend. Unfortunately, we’ll never get back to that since Khai had to go and kiss Third again. We’ll check back in next week as Third starts nursing Khai.

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Reblog daily for health and prosperity

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In case anyone is wondering what all the Thai QL celebs are tweeting about right now. Right now, the earthquake (which occurred near Myanmar and was felt as far as Bangkok) was listed as magnitude 7.7, but there are some Thai news reports now saying that that could be adjusted to freakin’ _8.2_, which, GOOD LORD.

Perth and Santa were glimpsed outside as buildings were evacuated. Lots of the celebs are posting themselves as they evacuated while working, but the news is still rolling in.

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"things are getting better.."

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Gen & Song in The Miracle of Teddy Bear

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Oppan is getting a film sequel!!!

The film will be released on July 4th and will have an original story that continues after the series. No official synopses yet. [FilmSNS]

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You mentioned you felt the ending of gelboys was a result of romance tropes, im not necessarily inclined to disagree with that despite my post, but can you expand slightly?Romance sells and television is a business, so I understand the frustration in that. Do you think anything in the story couldve been shifted to have you accept the ending for Fou4? Ive been sitting on thoughts about coming of age story conventions in relation to gelboys, do you think theyre used well?

Oh there are so many things contained within that one little comment for me, but I will try to break them down. First, some context on the broader industry, and note that this commentary applies much more broadly than just to Gelboys:

Thai BL (and romance convention) demands a happy romance ending, even when it doesn’t fit the story being told. With shows like Gelboys that don’t really follow BL structure and tropes but are still marketed as BLs, there is a tension there and a question about whether they’ll stick to their themes or fold to the romance ending.

Gelboys is marketing its actors as idols which means their careers will benefit more from a ship ending that will make fans happy and possibly allow them to promote and work in pairs. The way the Thai BL industry is structured around pairs often results in narrative interference to protect the pair even at the expense of the story.

Now, a few things more specific to Gelboys:

I think this show has been generally excellent on coming of age conventions and in representing the ways the current iteration of social media has shaped the ancient courting rituals. I do think the story was rendered a bit less impactful by placing the show in the no homophobia BL bubble (and in fact just never addressing sexuality at all).

Boss Kuno has a long pattern of telling queer stories that don’t fit the BL mold but then sticking BL romance endings on them anyway. He even did it in Paradise of Thorns, which I could barely believe given the themes and tone of that film. So this was not unexpected but still a bit of a womp womp for me.

I think the story lost Fourmod’s trajectory in the shuffle a bit in the last few episodes (basically from the Faifa arc on). It’s not that I think it’s out of character for him to end up drifting back to Chian, but we weren’t very in tune with where he was emotionally for all this back and forth and the ending with Chian was presented by the show as positive when we’ve already seen how miserable Fourmod has been every time he’s caught up in Chian’s orbit. As a result, it felt discordant to me to present him drifting back to Chian out of loneliness as a “happy” ending.

In terms of what the show could have done differently, I would have loved it if they’d left it at Fourmod walking away from Chian and allowing him to actually move on. That actually feels kinder to the character to me than him circling back to Chian. They could even have shown him meeting someone new if they wanted to reassure us he’d be fine. Alternatively, the ending we got for him, but presented as dark and depressing, also would have worked well for me (though clearly it’s not the note Boss wanted to end on).

I liked this show a lot which is why I felt a bit deflated by the ending falling short. But even with that said, I think it’s one of the best coming of age stories in BL.

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Gelboys, Episode 7 Finale: "Controversial In a Good Way" Is How I'd Describe This Finale, As Well As Teenagehood in General

CONFESSION! I know not everyone will agree with me about the following.

When Bua/Baabin and Chian/Fou4Mod get together in the end -- besides the issue of these four WONDERFUL characters not getting enough screen- and development time (which has been fully discussed in the tags, thank you fandom) to really close their stories as ripely as we wanted them to be closed,

I also thought to myself, we've seen this before, or at least, I've seen this before, in a Boss Naruebet Kuno show. What did I see that I thought I've seen before?

When I first watched Boss Kuno's I Told Sunset About You, I focused my meta on the amazing cultural framework of the show, the intermingling of the history of the environment with the show's characters. However, I spoke my truth on my feelings about the ending of ITSAY in my review of I Promised You The Moon, ITSAY's sequel, a show that was screenwritten and directed by another person (Meen Tossaphon) that wasn't Boss (who served as a producer for IPYTM).

In short, at the end of ITSAY: I could have very well seen Teh and Oh-aew not getting together. I loved Teh for the hotttttt mess that he was. I could have seen Oh-aew hold him very accountable for that hot mess action in ITSAY. It didn't happen in ITSAY -- but it did happen in IPYTM, when Oh-aew peaced tf out for a year before they got back together in their later adulthood, all because Teh remained messy, and Oh-aew had had fucking enough.

So, what I'm seeing in the tags is at least, Chian and Fou4mod didn't have to get together in the end for many fans to consider the show a success.

Between ITSAY and Gelboys, from a dramatic narrative perspective: I could go either way with an ending for Teh/Oh-aew and Chian/F4M either being together or not, as long as the dialogue could support an excellent accountability read on imperfect people.

However. From a purely emotional perspective,

Who the fuck am I to ask characters that are teenage boys to hold each other, and themselves, accountable to the feelings of someone else -- when they might not know how to *do* that kind of accountability?

I can't. First of all, I'm a mom! I have to model that behavior myself for my kids as I raise them, which, hello, I can be a mess, too, dur.

I've written in my past Gelboys meta that a huge theme of this show, for me, is nostalgia. The show places an emphasis on the point that despite environments and modes of communication changing over time -- that interactions of emotions between two people remain mostly the same throughout generations. I truly loved it when Bua told Baa,

That sentiment has remained universal throughout the advent of fuckin' cuneiform, the printing press, the telephone, e-mail, text messages, and AirDrops and TikTok likes. The little squeal that you make when the person you like gives you the moment of attention you need. That's been universal since our brains grew larger than walnuts.

In order for a person like Baabin to get there, to give the attention that Bua is wanting and demanding -- well, shit, that'll take work on Baabin that he might not know how to do, because he's a kid, too, like Bua. And I feel the same for Chian, and for Fou4mod, too.

These guys are confused, horny, in love, playing games, and using technology to dance around their crushes and their feelings. That shit is all messy, and that mess was captured perfectly in Gelboys, as it was in ITSAY, as only Boss Kuno knows how to capture it (and Meen in IPYTM, too).

From a dramatic perspective, Chian and Fou4mod could have not gotten together, and again, I think the show could have worked. But from an emotional perspective, Chian and Fou4mod do get together, and....do I call that a happy ending?

Not necessarily -- and I'm okay with that. Because Boss's past work, from ITSAY to IPYTM, showed that he himself is aware that humans continue to grow, past their teenagehood, into probably imperfect adults that will still make mistakes, because they are simply humans who will never actually be perfect.

That's what I'm taking from this finale of Gelboys. Like most of what others are saying in the tags: I believe the convictions of imperfections that I'm talking about, the chaotic intricacies of these characters, would have HUGELY benefitted from a couple more episodes.

I think there's a lot of emotional layering that we missed out on. I think I could have seen a lot more of Fou4mod with Faifa, and not only because I cheese on Paper Peerada everyday. I think Fou4mod making those mistakes with Faifa could have been elaborated for us to get a more in-depth look into his mindset when he was with her, and how the lessons he learned from fucking it up with Faifa turned into his ultimately trusting Chian in a relationship. I think that storyline was rushed, and we missed out on some key growth development from Fou4mod. I really also think we could have had so much more time with Chian and his growth, besides his growing out of love from Bua. I would have loved to spend more time with Chian in university, watching him grow and trust himself more.

But, what can you do. We got what we got, and ultimately? Despite my quibbles, I absolutely LOVED THIS SHOW, from beginning to end. This was a Series Y drama with a totally fresh approach, leveraging romantic nostalgia through the chaotic lens of modern technology, and I think Boss absolutely slam-dunked the risks he took to shoot the series the way he did. That weirdly-lit, frowsy, old-timey cinematography while Fou4mod and Baabin were in the nail salon to start the final episode? Crank up the gaslights, I absolutely love the way that scene looked.

I hope Boss continues to make Series Y for a long time. He's willing, and he's lucky enough, to take risks in his writing and directing, and I think those risks paid off. Gelboys was a little rushed in the end, but the story worked perfectly for me, and I'm gonna remember this series -- as a mom who'll be raising teenagers in no time -- with total fondness and admiration for the story that Boss told.

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Perfect 10 Liners EP21

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Gelboys finale thoughts

Gelboys gave me so many emotions. It was such a raw, painful, and empathetic depiction of youth--all of these kids are constantly hurting each other mostly through being self-absorbed and unaware they're doing it rather than intentional cruelty, though there are a few moments of that too. I appreciated how the show allowed all of these characters to make mistakes and be kind of terrible to each other, and for them to have their own moments of growth. I loved so many things this show did, including exploring the confusion around friendship vs attraction, what it means to lead people on with no intention of following through, sexual exploration with emotional attachment but not necessarily an emotional commitment, letting characters have more than one love interest over time, letting guys reach for each other's dicks....and in addition to those bigger things, there are a million tiny details I loved in every scene. While I wrote to ask for help clarifying one particular plot point because it was confusing last week, overall I have loved that this show required the viewer to pay attention to details and to put things together for themselves; trust in the audience is rare these days and it is always refreshing.

That being said, there are two stumbles that I'm sitting with at the end of the show that are preventing me from cheering without reservation.

One was the choice to put the evidence of Chian's main character growth into a side story. It was critical to ep7 that we understood Chian had actually reflected on his treatment of Fou4Mod, and we only know for sure that he had because of the Charging Gel ep6 side story (I've linked to a comment on that video that includes a translation because the full context is important). It is only cute that Chian put that hat on Fou4Mod's nail because he understood that at the time it was a dick move.

The second thing was rushing Baa's emotional turn in ep7. I think we got to see Baabin start to fall for Bua, and we did see his discomfort around having those feelings while still defining himself as the man in love with Fou4Mod, but I didn't buy Baa falling out of love with Fou4Mod. He held onto those feelings for 2 years while Fou4Mod and Chian were 'talking, then for however many months while Fou4Mod and Faifa had their thing and Fou4Mod and Baa weren't even friendly....I just don't know when Baa started to realize his feelings for Fou4Mod were not actually romantic anymore, and considering how intensely he was pushing that, I needed to know when he was faking it vs when it was real for him, and I just didn't. So when he revealed that he had been pretending not to have feelings for Bua because he didn't want to piss off Fou4Mod, it felt like it came out of nowhere. And after he had been so, so cruel to Bua in the same day that he decided to confess, I needed a better confession and apology to believe in their relationship.

The part that I appreciated most about this finale was Fou4Mod and Chian learning to communicate with empathy for each other. Fou4Mod admitted that he got paranoid about not hearing from Chian because of their history, and owned that that was an overreaction, and later Chian acknowledged that they weren't going to be able to be perfect but they could be more honest with each other and be considerate of each other's feelings around their behaviour (that's what I'm reading into the "I won't always be able to text back but I'll tell you if that's the case" scene). I wish this had been left slightly more open, but I am open to these two learning to be in a relationship together.

On the Baabin and Bua side, I really loved Bua's realization that he had been terrible to Chian, after experiencing it on the other side. I don't know that we got the same level of realization from Baabin that we did from the other three. He has learned to ask for things for himself even when he's afraid it will upset his friend, but I was hoping we'd get more of a realization about how he'd become the type of person he was yelling at a few episodes ago (Chian yelling at Baa for the same thing that Baa once yelled at Bua for was a delicious parallel). I think there's a step missing for me in Baa's storyline overall in which he realizes he does not like who he's become in his quest for Fou4Mod and as a result is able to let go of that crush. Similarly, while Bua's admission that he cares more about Baa's one like than a million likes from strangers was sweet, I think I needed to sit with them as not a pseudo-influencer couple in order to believe in their romance. As it stands, I don't really believe Bua will be able to put his relationship with Baa over his need for social media validation, and i don't really believe that Baa understands how hurtful he was to Bua or has learned enough about being aware of his own behaviour to prevent it from happening again. Which is all ok, I just wish the show were more aware that that's where it left us with this couple.

Overall, this show captured the raw emotional rollercoaster that is being a teenager so well; even though I could not relate to a lot of the specifics of how these teens got up to shenanigans, I could relate to the core emotions almost always. I felt the cringe and the butterflies and the shame viscerally week to week, and I think that's what I'm going to remember this show for the most.

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Theory of Love RomCom Roundup: Flipped (2010)

Last Saturday, I had a lobotomy. Completely against my will. It is only now that I've finally felt myself emerging from a fugue state I found myself in the aftermath. This project has been advertised as a "rom-com rewatch/roundup" but this is yet another movie I don't count as a comedy. It has some moments which could be conceived of as comedic but in reality Flipped is a coming-of-age romance. I knew we were due another stinker. At least Khai's POV was enjoyable to watch in episode 7. @lurkingshan broke down a bunch of parallels between the film and show; @twig-tea considered what Third could possibly have to learn from this garbage; @bengiyo recounted how watching a fantasy of "class divide" in '50s/'60s-era white suburbia is not, actually, ideal.

[ID: Scene from Flipped. Bryce and Juli are young children; Bryce is wearing a nice shirt and slacks while Juli wears comfortable "outdoors" clothes. A moving van sits in the street behind them. Juli chases and grabs on to Bryce as he thrashes desperately to get away. End ID.]

Flipped is one of the most insufferable films I've seen in a while. Exhausting. It felt like way longer than it actually was - as Ben pointed out, it felt like we were watching one 45-minute film twice. It has this CONSTANT, MIND-NUMBING voiceover from both the mains - neither great voice actors. The idea of flipping perspectives could have been an interesting structural choice but they did absolutely nothing interesting with it. I can't even blame restrictions of the time on it - this was released in 2010. We just watched a film last week made a decade prior with fabulously innovative editing!! Some pretty landscape shots could not save this from boring me out of my skull.

They did Anthony Edwards so dirty. What could have been an interesting character - a misanthropic misogynist father who projects his pessimism on his family - became one-dimensional and awkward. Stilted, horrible dialogue hurt every actor's performance. John Mahoney, who played the grandfather, was perhaps the only one who could make it sound somewhat tolerable (he also gets some of the best lines). I actually liked his character but I probably gave him too much credit. I've always liked Mahoney and his appearances were a rare shining light in this dreck.

All the usual suspects were here but ableism was the worst offender. Par-for-the-course offensive caricature of a person with an intellectual disability; in this case, it was Juli's uncle Daniel. Her father has willingly put their family in poverty because he wants his brother to thrive in the best facility possible. This could be handled well if the script believed in subtlety and sensitivity, but no. Instead Daniel becomes the reason the Bakers have been "forced" to live the life they do. We are subjected to numerous uses of the r-slur (which was the standard medical language used at the time) including in a case where Bryce's best friend suggests that Juli is "the way she is" because "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree" - a comment called out as hurtful but not because of how it disparages Daniel. We also see the most nauseating, prototypical "intellectual disability freak-out" we get in every single fucking movie which deigns to include a character like him. Like, sure, a meltdown over an ice cream cone could happen but there's nothing about his character or his mannerisms/behavior we see which leads me - someone who specialized in working with those with intellectual disabilities in therapeutic recreation - to confidently detect a behavioral pattern or logical causal triggers. They clearly wrote Daniel purely based off stereotypes rather than any actual research. The fact that Flipped's ableism is so prototypical makes it even more irritating to watch when surrounded with utterly formulaic garbage. They really thought they did something.

When stepping back from the way the film uses its characters I can see how Bryce's arc could make him redeemable. He's a kid in a household which reinforces classist, sexist ideals mostly via his abusive father. It makes sense that a kid like him would mimic his dad with little self-awareness of how his behavior hurts others. Despite all the grace I can give the kid his voiceover made me want to kill him and everyone else in this thing. The end of the film with his grand gesture still fell entirely flat.

I had to actively remind myself of how much I loathe Awful Love Actually - I came really close to giving this the prize of being my least favorite movie in the project. Third, you fool! Go for some subtlety!!

[ID: Khai gazes at Third. As he leans closer he puts his chin in his palm. He looks like he wants to fall into Third's eyes. End ID.]

Our first episode immersed in Khai’s POV!! I was so excited for this. Especially to see Khai start to get a taste of his own medicine - which only slowly began to happen here. I expect a ramping up of tensions before everything comes crashing down for him. In this episode we see that Khai and Third are mirroring each other. They share a similar immature view of what makes relationships work, even if Khai has more actual experience under his belt. Khai is playing the role he always has without minding what Third (or himself) truly needs for a lasting relationship. He tries all his usual flattery but none of it works (at least not in the way he wants). Khai is working through his newly-realized feelings along with trying to flirt with him - that’s a lot for him to handle! Khai is similar to Bryce in many ways (though not as similar as Third evidently believes) when it comes to how they both handle their realizations. They turn to their friends (with very different results), come to realize how much they’ve hurt their respective love interests (though neither take responsibility), and attempt a grand gesture to win them back. In Bryce’s case, his effort was successful (and was more aligned with what truly mattered to Juli) while Khai made Third’s script “his own” and effectively ignored any and all blatant signs that it was about him. Khai has similar issues as Third in finding it difficult to take on his perspective. Even if he is far more in tune with how Third is feeling than Third ever was with Khai’s. At this point Khai is effectively ignoring all the pain he’s caused Third, hoping he can make it go away by sweeping him all his feet. He also doesn’t think Third knows about his biggest betrayal - running a psyop on his sexuality.

Despite hating this film, for the sake of character consistency I do want to make an effort to recognize that Flipped does mean a lot to Third. It’s clear why he does - it’s simple, could be construed as sweet, and has a very clear parallel to Third’s own story of one-sided love. It’s so easy for Third to connect to this film, to feel seen by it. To find hope in its ending, even. I can genuinely see how it would touch his heart. I just happen to have lived more of my life and seen a zillion other movies just like this one. Also, I have better taste. As we’ve all said before it just doesn’t seem like Third has done much close reading, especially not of anything which could be considered surface-level texts. He’s definitely the kind of screenwriter who would happily write happy moralizing Oscar bait. Someone save us all.

As we continue on with Theory of Love it becomes more and more interesting to see what could easily have been made a more overtly-queer project rooted in our realities instead choose to play within the BL bubble. It somewhat pushes at the interior in interesting ways but doesn’t do anything which could openly alienate their mostly heterosexual audience. It’s trying to play both sides - not totally unsuccessfully - though I agree with all my watch buddies that the story could have been stronger if they had pierced the bubble a bit. Khai didn’t get too much of the comeuppance I wanted, though he is beginning to see how his player persona has resulted in so many people feeling a sheer lack of trust in him. Episode 7 is a very smart set-up for when everything eventually truly comes crumbling down. I honestly really enjoy Khai’s POV regardless of his fuckery. It’s nice not to be embroiled in Third’s water-logged mind.

Next we watched The Proposal, which is a great cheesy rom-com. I was so excited to watch it again for the zillionth time! Write-up on that coming soon.

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Well, that finale certainly tried to have its cake and eat it, too

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Sweet Tooth Good Dentist ☆ 1.01