#they’re gonna give me a mental breakdown | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

trippinsorrows · 7 months ago

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with me + part twelve

authors note: you guys are seriously the nicest and most supportive. the comments always make me stupidly smile and laugh cause not a single one of ya'll is gonna let bdj die off. 😭 also, i know a couple of people have commented and asked about the backstory with joe and jadah, and i promise it'll be explored deeper. there's a subplot i'm working towards unveiling here, and it's nearing the reveal part, but we're not there yet! i promise, though, it's gonna be touched on!!!

i also had to chop this chapter in half, because it's honestly so much stuff, so the next update shouldn't take as long cause it's almost done.

the next two are gonna be so fun. maybe some shit will go down too. we shall see.

status: in progress // masterlist

warnings: fluff, language, some angst, suggestive themes

song inspo: with me by destiny’s child

words: 8k

taglist: @pixiedust4000 @yolobloggers @southerngirl41 @msbigredmachine @wanderingreigns

“So let me get this straight, in the time that I’ve been gone, you and Joe told Callie he’s her dad, you found out Amir and Mariah been fucking behind your back, and you had a semi mental breakdown after running into your father and, plot twist, long lost sister.” She counts each off with a finger, then asking. “Did I miss anything?”

Nodding, you take a scoop of your ice cream before adding, “Joe told me he loves me.”

In true Alexis fashion, she randomly arrived in town the night before, completely unaware of all that transpired in her absence. So, you take this time while Callie sleeps to catch her up.

“Did I miss anything that I didn’t already know?” You give her a look, and she rolls her eyes, also eating some of her Rocky Road. “Come on, Y/N. Ray Charles could see that man is in love with you. You’re the one being stupid by not reciprocating.” Before you can push back against her, even if she isn’t entirely wrong, she switches topics. “Now when are we gonna go beat Lieriah’s ass? I told you it was something about that girl. She’s a snake.”

Typically the one to defend your friends, it’s hard to find it in you to come to Mariah’s aid. Nevermind the fact that she knows the shitty things Amir has done to you over the years, it’s the fact that she’s supposed to be your best friend but is messing around with same ain't shit ex? You would never do something like that to her, but maybe your loyalty to her has always been stronger than hers to you.

“I’m not worried about him or her. They’re not worth it.” That’s partially true, but the sting of betrayal is slow to pass and even slower to heal. You’ve always had mid to low expectations for Amir, but Mariah? That’s a crushing blow. “I have more important things to figure out.”

She studies you, leaning back against the headboard. “Your sister.”

“Bianca,” you correct. It’s too uncomfortable referring to her as such, even if that’s exactly what she is.

In the weeks since the big fireworks show—both metaphorically and figuratively—you’ve tried to slowly return to your sense of normalcy. Focusing on Callie—who is an entirely different issue in and of itself that you really need to talk to your mom about—being more on top of things at work, and navigating your relationship with Joe.

He hasn’t been back to visit since Christmas, but you figured as such. Wrestlemania season has arrived, and you know better than anyone how crazy that time is, especially with him main eventing.

But the one thing you haven’t really allowed yourself to think too much about is Bianca. You’d sent her a vague apology text a few days after your mad dash and explained that you were dealing with some things and just needed time to sort through them. That you’d reach back out when you were ready.

That still hasn’t happened, and it’s entirely intentional.

“I remember you mentioned that you always wanted siblings?”

“Yeah, cause we have so much to bond over,” you mutter, bitterly.

“Well, you actually do have a lot in common. She’s a teacher, like you. She has a daughter, like you—”

“You know what we don’t have in common?” You interrupt, feeling the agitation growing again. It’s not directed toward Alexis, just the situation in general. “A father who loves us.”

You were done referring to that man as your father. A father shows up. Like Joe. That son of a bitch isn’t even in the same universe as Joe.

Her expression softens. You didn’t tell her everything, just enough for her to get the gist that he’s a piece of shit. And you definitely did not tell her about the time you went to see him. You’ve never told anyone that story. Joe is now the only one who knows, and you’d like to keep it that way. It’s just….it’s just too painful. “I had no idea that was the situation there…..I’m really sorry, girl.”

“It is what it is. I don’t need him.” And you’re not too sure if you need Bianca either. “I’m just trying to figure out if I should power through this for Callie’s sake. You should have seen how she and Taylor clicked. I would hate to take that away from her.”

“I get that,” she acknowledges. “You have to make the decision that’s best for the long run, not necessarily how you’re feeling right now.” That’s very easy to say and nearly impossible to do. “Even if you just allow the girls to interact while you keep some distance with Bianca.”

You’re partially intrigued, spooning some more cookie dough. “How would that work?”

“They don’t live here, right?” You nod. “Maybe the girls can talk on Facetime or even play some game on their tablets. That won’t cause you to interact much with mom outside of coordinating virtual playdates, and Callie still gets to spend time with her cousin, or, not cousin."

You sit on her words, not expecting to be as open to the idea as you are. It’s a pretty genius compromise. “You really do give some great advice sometimes, you know that?”

“That’s what I’m here for,” she smiles mischievously, and you just shake your head. “Now, who’s gonna knock this bitch Mariah over the head with a steel chair? Me or you? Or should we hit her with a bus, Regina George style?”

“Alexis!”

________

You clearly don’t love yourself because you decided to do both yours and Callie’s washday on the same damn day. A Sunday, at that. Meaning, you have no choice but to get it done because you have work the next day.

And Alexis being in town would be even more of a benefit than it already is if she actually knew how to do hair. Natural hair. She can lay any wig down better than Tae, but caring for coils and curls is another story. It’s why you declined her offer, and she lays knocked out in your bed, while Callie is fast asleep in hers.

Thankfully, you have an insanely generous and sweet man who’s offered to talk to you while you power through this debacle, noodle arms, sleep deprivation, and all.

“Oh, before I forget again.” You grab the bottle of leave-in to apply more to the next section of hair. Shingling may give you the most definition, but it also gives you the most discomfort. “Can you be here May 8th?” A smile falls on your face. “Our baby is graduating preschool, and I know she’d want you there. I do too.”

“Shit, they have preschool graduations?” He seems genuinely taken back before answering. “But, of course I’ll be there.”

“I know. I used to think they were stupid, but now it’s my kid, so it’s the best thing ever. Her cap and gown should come some time in March, so I’m gonna have one of my old teammates who’s a photographer take professional photos of her.” It’s literally just preschool, but that’s still something she’s accomplished, and you want to commend the occasion the best you can. It’s been years since you’ve had professional photos of her taken anyway. Not since she was first born. “And yes, I’ll get extra for you.”

“How much—”

“Anyways, let me show you the tattoo.” Joe has already done so much, the least you can do is cover the photo costs. Even though you know him well enough to know he’ll find some way to contribute. Thankfully, the side of your hair that still needs to be shingled is clipped at the top of your head, so all you have to do is turn around and push down the thin strap of your shirt to reveal your latest ink. “He did an amazing job.”

“Shit, he did.” Joe’s agreement and approval somehow makes you even more satisfied with the outcome. Your Christmas gift to yourself was finally getting that Moana tattoo Callie has wanted to see on you since you told her you were getting one damn near a year ago. It’s on the back of your left shoulder, a black manta ray, some blue ocean-like coloring with one of your favorite lyrics from the movie: I will carry you here in my heart. You remind me, that come what may, I know the way.

It’s one of Callie’s favorite songs but also feels like an ode to your grandma as well.

He then asks, “do you want more?”

Readjusting your shirt and turning back around, you answer, “of course. More Disney but also….” This discussion triggers something for you, something that seems a little out there, but also maybe not. “I saw this tattoo on Pinterest that I want to get for Callie.” You grab your phone. “Let me send it to you.” It’s saved in your favorites folder and thus an easy send. Placing the phone back on the counter, you wait for him to receive and see it.

“I like it.” It’s a baby’s footprint with the name written in cursive and date of birth in print right underneath it. You’ve always wanted Callie’s name on you but couldn’t settle on a design until you came across that one. Something about it just resonates with you.

Licking your lips, you suggest, “why don’t you get it with me?” Couples getting matching tattoos isn’t something you’re entirely against, you just don’t agree with it for people who are only dating and not married, if marriage is the goal. You remember when Amir once suggested you do so, and you literally laughed in his face. You’d soon rather get branded with a tramp stamp than have that man’s name permanently burned into your skin.

But, matching tattoos for the child you created together with the man you love. That is something you could get behind.

And apparently so can he.

“Let’s do it.”

“Really?” You’re not sure why, but the ease of his agreement shocks you. It’s not too far-fetched when you think about it. He loves his daughter, and you’ve always known Joe to only get tattoos that have meaning. He could give you a detailed explanation for every piece of ink on his body.

“Yeah.” There’s almost a sense of excitement in his voice, like he’s eager to have her name on him, to share this with you. “Same location?” At that, you make a face. He laughs. “Inner bicep does hurt, I’m not even gon’ lie to you.”

Yeah, you’ve definitely heard as such, and considering his entire right side is tatted, he’d know. “I don’t know. I have to think about it. I might need to squeeze your hand the whole time, or I’ll end up punching the tattooist.”

He laughs, “you can squeeze my hand.” Joe then asks, “when do you want to get em’ done?” You start to think about it logistically, as well as financially. Tattoos aren’t cheap. “Do you want to go to the Super Bowl?”

His question surprises you because it’s such a change in topics but also….what? “Yup. And Hawaii and Puerto Rico. And then maybe if we have time, stop by Alice in Wonderland.”

He’s too good at matching your sass, retorting, “I can make the first two happen easily. The last one may be a stretch.” Rolling your eyes, you grab for the gel. “I’m serious though. My tattoo artist is based out of Vegas. The game is in Vegas this year. It’ll let me see Callie too, cause I’m having a hard time finding a gap to visit.” As he continues to speak without laughing or chuckling, you realize he’s dead serious. “I’ve been meaning to ask you to go anyway but kept forgetting.”

You need extra clarification. “Like this year's Usher concert where there’s apparently a game too?”

He rolls his eyes, providing the guest list. “It’s me and the twins, their family, some other fam…..we have a whole section, cause you know it's a bunch of us.” It’s still hard to sit on the fact that this man really just invited you to the fucking Super Bowl like it’s dinner at Golden Coral. His eyes soften. “I wanna see her. I wanna see you.”

Joe’s closing statement, so true and vulnerable, is what breaks you from your temporary state of shock. You get the sense he misses ya’ll just as much as you miss him. “Of course, we’ll go. I’m sorry, I just—I wasn’t expecting that.” And it’s true, you weren’t. “How will we get fl—”

“Don’t worry about that. I’ll take care of everything. I just need you to show up at the airport.”

That seems to be such a recurring theme with this man. He does everything he can to make things as easy for you as possible. It’s tremendously appreciated and doesn’t go without notice.

“This is the first time she’ll be meeting the twins,” you realize aloud. Hell, his family at all.

Joe nods, chuckling. “Yeah, they’ve been on my ass about that anyway. They want to meet her.”

Pinning down the section you just finished, you take down the next. A little over halfway done now. “Whoever you want her to meet is fine with me, Joe. I don’t even really have a say in that. She has every right to meet your family just as much as she’s had to meet mine.”

And it’s true. Unless it could present some harm to Callie, you don’t really feel like you have the right to object to things like that. You have zero desire to interfere with Joe and Callie anymore than you already have.

“I know. I just wanted to tell her the truth before introducing her to anyone else. Less lies.” Makes sense. Thinking about Callie meeting more family brings a small smile to your face. It’s what she deserves. Family members who actually want to be in her life.

The conversation brings something else to the forefront of your mind, partially due to Joe’s confession to you on Christmas but also a question you’ve wanted to ask him for much longer than you’d like to admit.

“So….” This shouldn’t be as nerve wracking as it is. “There’s something I want to ask you, but I don’t…..I don’t want to overstep.” If he were to tell you that he’d rather you not, that’d be fine with you, one less stressful thing on your plate. But, of course, he’s silent, meaning he’s not going to object. So….you decide to bite the bullet and go for it. “What happened between you and your wife?”

You’re certain he wasn’t expecting that to be what you asked, but to your surprise, he answers. “We were young and got married for the wrong reason. I was 22. She was 21.”

Unsure but taking a big risk regardless, you ask in a small voice. “What was the reason?”

His answer isn’t what you’re expecting either. “She was pregnant.”

It takes a second for you to process what he’s saying. Your stomach is suddenly in knots, chest feeling tight. There’s no way he’s kept something like that from you. No way in hell. “Wait, does Callie have—”

“No.”

And just like that, you know. He doesn’t need to explain. It’s painfully obvious, especially as he looks away from the camera. You have a feeling you've unlocked a painful memory he’d most likely kept tucked away.

“I’m sorry.” It feels so stupid and unhelpful to say. What does that do for him? It doesn’t take away that experience, that loss that you can’t even begin to imagine. But, it’s all you can offer. “Just—forget I asked, let’s change the subject.” Do you have more questions? Of course. Like, why was there such a gap between their loss and the divorce? But, this is understandably a difficult and sensitive subject, and the last thing you want to do is trigger him more than you already have.

You know better than anyone how awful that can be.

He agrees with the subject change, going along with the transition of topics, clearly grateful for your understanding. But, in the back of your mind, you can’t help but think about the fact that this man lost his firs child before he could even meet the them, and the child he had who did survive was kept a secret from him for nearly five years.

There’s a sudden sickness and disgust you feel. And it’s not towards anyone but yourself.

Joe had every goddamn right to be furious with you about your subterfuge.

He still does. ________

“Mama, something is up with Callie.”

You’re thankful Alexis agreed to keep Callie preoccupied in the living room while you have this conversation with your mom, because Callie had another incident just this morning, slamming her door when you told her she needed to pick up her toys.

She’s never done that.

But she has done other things in the past two weeks or so, rolling her eyes or pouting her mouth at you when you say something she doesn’t want to hear, beyond typical tantrums.

Your mom stops her stirring at the pot to turn around and look at you. “What do you mean? Is she sick?”

“No,” you answer and then realize you’re not entirely sure how to explain it. She’s not being bad, per se. Just….difficult. “She’s just been…..off.”

Genuinely intrigued, and partially concerned, you watch your mom turn the fire on low as she joins you at the kitchen table. “Tell me.”

Shaking your head, you explain. “I thought it was just me, that I was just being overprotective and hyper-vigilant, but when I picked her up from preschool yesterday, her teacher pulled me to the side and asked me if she’s been having sleep problems. I told her no and asked why, and she told me Callie has been irritable. With staff and other kids.”

“Callie?” Your mom seems just as taken back as you were hearing these words. “That doesn’t even sound like her.”

“I know, and that’s what I said at first, but then I thought about it, and she’s been crabby with me too. It’s not horrible, but it’s unlike her.”

A small part of you wonders if it has something to do with you running off on her on Christmas. It would make sense. She was doing absolutely fine before then, but it’s the timing that throws that theory off. You’ve noticed this change only in the past two weeks, well after Christmas day passed, so why the delay?

“What does Joe think it is?”

“I haven’t told him.” It’s not that you don’t want to. You’d just like to have a better grasp of what it is before doing so. Have more actual information to provide him.

“He hasn’t seen the behavior for himself?”

You shake your head. “She’s fine with him. Matter of fact, after his calls, she’s like a completely different child.” It’s watching your mom’s face settle into a look of realization that makes you ask, “what? What is it?”

“Honey” she starts with a soft chuckle. “She’s missing her daddy.”

Her answer catches you by surprise, painting your face with confusion. You’ve had a lot of theories, but that definitely wasn’t one of them. “What?”

Reaching across the table, she places her hand over yours. “Think about it. How would she react if you were gone as much as he is? She’d be a mess, cause you’re her mama, and she has a strong attachment to you. Look how easily she attached and connected with Joe. It’s always been there. Except she knows the truth now, so her attachment is even stronger.” You heed to her explanation, wise and sensible. You hadn’t even thought of it that way. “And isn’t this the longest he’s been gone without her seeing him? She’s acting out because she misses him and probably doesn’t know how to verbalize it, so it shows in her behavior.”

As relieved as you are to have an explanation that makes sense, it’s an explanation that makes you incredibly sad for your sweet child. You know how hard it is for Joe to get away right now, you understand it. It never crossed you that she wouldn’t.

Devastated, you ask, “what do I do?”

“Talk to her. Try to help her understand. It may not make a huge difference, but it’s something.”

You nod, so so grateful for her, for all that she does for you, for Callie. For all that she’s done. Reaching across the table, you hug her tightly. “thank you, mama.” As much as it devastated you to not have that man in your life, your mom made sure to go above and beyond to make sure you knew you were loved. She played both roles beautifully, and you’re not sure you’ll ever be able to make her understand what that meant to you.

You still haven’t really sat her down and explained everything that happened Christmas night, nor has she asked, but you know it’s because she’s trying to respect your space. It’s appreciated, but you also know you’re gonna have to eventually tell her.

Just not now.

Right now, you’ve gotta take care of your baby.

________

Even the energy in Callie’s playroom feels off.

You’re so used to walking in and finding her with that million dollar smile that makes your entire day better. Instead, you walk in and she doesn’t even acknowledge your presence. She just continues to color.

“Hey, baby….” Disappointed, but refusing to show as such, you welcome yourself in and approach her table. “Is it okay if I color with you?”

She still doesn’t say anything, just nods, and you do your best not to hide your sadness. You hate seeing her this down, it’s so unfamiliar, and you’ll do just about anything to fix it.

Sitting down in the uncomfortable seat, you take a couple of her pages and pull out a crayon. “I have an idea.” At that, she looks up, slightly intrigued. “Why don’t we draw how we’ve been feeling lately? I draw me, and you draw you.”

You scold yourself for not selling it to her better, for not telling her it’s something you sometimes do with your students. Some level of innocent peer pressure. However, she surprises you by agreeing with a simple “okay.”

It takes a second for you to register that it was really that simple. Step one is done. Now for step two.

Grabbing some crayons, you don’t really concern yourself with skin tone, just getting something out on paper. The two of you color in silence, and you start to offer to put on her favorite playlist but decide against it.

You want her to really think about what you’re asking.

It’s when you see that she’s placed down her crayon and is just staring at her picture that you ask, “you done?” She shakes her head, but her eyes are on the table in front of her. “Is it okay if mommy sees it? I’ll show you mine too.”

Handing you the page, you expect an influx of emotions, but actually seeing her literal representation of how she feels is simply heartbreaking.

She’s drawn herself, frowning, surrounded by broken hearts and a blue tear leaking from her eye. Callie did what you asked. You just wish it didn’t have you feeling so helpless.

“This means you’ve been feeling sad, huh?” You hate how your voice gives away your emotions. This is about her, not you, but it’s so difficult for you to not be impacted. No mother wants to see her child hurting, and Callie currently is. It kills you. “Callie….” Moving up from your chair, you move across to kneel in front of her, taking her hands in yours. “Have you been sad because you miss your dad?”

All you need to hear is one sniffle, and instantly, you’re reaching for her, holding and comforting her.

“It’s okay,” you soothe, kissing the top of her head. “It’s okay, baby.” She cries into your chest, and you have to hold back your own tears.

“Why doesn't he come back?” She asks in between tears, wiping her eyes. “He’s been gone a really long time.” It’s only then you realize that she’s not entirely exaggerating. Joe was last here for Christmas. It’s now the end of January. For a child like Callie, that must feel like an eternity.

“He would if he could, Callie. I promise you he would. Daddy just…he gets really busy with his job this time of the year, and he can’t leave or he’ll get in trouble.” It’s so difficult to explain this to her. WrestleMania season is inarguably chaotic and stupidly busy. Even back in the day, Joe’s trips to see you were most far and few in between during this time of year. And that was before he even had a title. You can’t even imagine how busy he must be as the literal fucking face of the company.

Enough to keep him from being able to come see you and Callie.

You’ve just gotten so used to the dynamics of him being away for periods at a time that it never occurred to you Callie hasn’t had the same experience. That at the end of the day she’s still a little kid who just wants to be with her dad.

It’s then that a thought crosses your mind.

“What if…..what if we went to see daddy?” For the first time since you stepped into the room, her eyes actually light up and you notice her tears lessening. “Instead of him coming to us, we go see him?”

“Really?” There’s the faintest smile on her face, and you know then that you’re going to make this happen. You don’t know how or in what way, but it will be a reality. No matter what it takes.

“Yeah,” you answer, brushing away some of her tears. “You can go see him at his show. He’d love that.” Not as much as she clearly loves the idea alone. “Now, we’d only be able to stay a day or maybe two but—”

“Please,” she interrupts, and you get the sense that she fears you’re going to find a way to say that you couldn’t or shouldn’t go. “I’ll be a good girl. I promise.”

“Baby, you’re already the best girl.” You push back some of her hair, resting your hand against her cheek. “Mama’s gonna make it happen, okay? I promise.”

If you have to sell one of your kidneys, then you’ll just be less one organ, because you’re getting your baby to that damn show. Matter of fact, you don’t say anything to her, but you’re wondering if you can make it to this week’s upcoming show. It’s only Sunday, and that gives you a couple of days to make arrangements and secure tickets. It’s doable, but you don’t want to get her hopes up, so just in case, you say nothing.

And yes, in the back of your mind, you know she’ll see Joe in a couple of weeks for the game, but that’s too long. Your child is hurting. You need to do something now. She can’t wait that long.

“Thank you, mommy!” She wraps her little arms around you, and just like that, you see the spark and joy that fills your days with light and laughter. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, baby.” Kissing her temple, you release her, realizing something else. “Now we can't tell your daddy because we’re gonna surprise him, okay? Can you do that for me?”

She nods, happily, unaware of the real reason. You know that you can’t tell Joe about this. Well, not now at least. This is not something to be discussed over the phone or even video chat. And if you tell him you want to take her to see him as soon as possible, he’ll know something is up.

So, you have to move in silence.

Coloring with Callie commences for a little longer as you value and cherish your time with her, but as soon as she’s down for her nap and before you wake Alexis from hers to tell her the news, you need to do something. It’s in that time bonding with her you realized how you’re going to make this happen.

You’re suddenly immensely grateful for that random conversation you’d had with Joe a while back regarding the fact that he and the twins have had the same phone number since they were in high school.

Pulling out your phone, you scroll through your contacts until you land on the one you need. You type, backspace, and type some more, only sending out the text once you’re fully pleased with it.

You: Hey, Jon. This is Y/N. Can you call me when you get a chance? Preferably sooner rather than later. I need your help with something. And please don’t tell Joe. It’s a surprise.

________

God clearly wants you to bring Callie to see Joe.

There’s just too many things that have lined up perfectly for that not to be the case. The discussion with your principal went well, though that wasn’t entirely surprising. You’ve always had a cordial relationship and know she respected your grandma. The whole school system in your town did. That was just her level of impact. But that respect has slid down to work in your favor as your principal told you to take as much time as you need.

“You’ll always have a job here.”

While not a huge concern, it’s reassuring and not entirely unsurprising. Again, your grandma’s impact definitely granted you a level of nepotism. You were slightly surprised when she actually encouraged you to take more time off, pointing out how in the almost nine years you’ve worked there, she could count on one hand how much PTO or vacation time you’ve used. And, it’s true. It was really only when Callie was sick and your mom couldn't help or you wanted to stay home and nurse her back to health that you called out. For the most part, you had damn near perfect attendance.

But, that’s certainly about to change, and you’re thankful you have a job that’s flexible enough to accommodate the change.

And then there’s the actual getting there. You should have known when Alexis was asking questions about when you and Callie were leaving that she was up to something. You naively chalked it up to her planning her flight out, as there was no way you expected her to wait around for ya’ll to get back. Instead, she was busy buying not just her ticket to come with ya’ll but yours and Callie’s as well.

You instantly felt bad when she forwarded you the itinerary information. You couldn’t see the cost, but you weren’t stupid either. Getting flights out with such short notice had to be expensive as all outdoors. You were just going to put the bill on your credit card and work to pay it off. And, of course, when you offered to pay her back, she nearly cussed you out. As if such an offer was insulting.

“What good is a trust fund if you can’t spend it on your college roomie and pretend godchild?”

So, while you still felt slightly uncomfortable, you were able to push it to the backburner for the sake of Callie. This is all for her, and you don’t care what it takes to make it happen. Even if it means sucking up your pride.

And deep down, you know if Alexis didn’t do what she did, Joe would somehow find a way to compensate you. The same way his ass somehow got his card on file at the hospital and covered all of Callie’s medical bills without ever even asking you if you needed help.

You still haven’t talked to him about that, not really having or finding the right time, but it also feels a bit bitchy and ungrateful to be upset with the man for covering his daughter’s medical expenses.

Then there’s the actual show itself. One thing you were initially concerned about was if Joe has a match lined up for this upcoming week’s show. You two have only had a couple of discussions about it but still enough for you to learn that he’s extremely hesitant to expose Callie to his wrestling persona.

“I don’t want her seeing me like that, thinking that’s who I am.”

And you understand him fully. Roman may be a fascinating character, but he’s equally narcissistic and ruthless as he is intriguing. The complete opposite of Joe and who he is.

Still, you’ve worked to help him understand that talking to Callie, explaining to her that he’s playing a “character” could help her understand better. You both are in agreement that she’s too young to watch actual matches, especially his as they tend to get brutal, but she can see certain promos. And she does. You let her watch a couple where the dialogue is safe enough to go over her head. And truth be told, she’s so focused on watching Joe that she's not really paying attention to what’s being said anyway.

Needless to say, you were massively relieved to hear from Jon that Joe doesn't have a match lined up and his promo is reportedly tame and safe enough for Callie’s eyes and ears. He didn’t give specifics, but from one parent to another parent, you trust his judgment.

And the most important thing of all is the fact that Callie has done a complete 180. She’s no longer as irritable, just the usual attitude when she’s sleepy or hungry. Just like her mama. And there’s that spark of joy in her eyes. She’s even started packing what she wants to bring with her. She knows you’ll only be there for one night, but even that can’t seem to dim her joy.

It makes your heart swell.

All of this brings you to your conclusion that you’re doing exactly what you should be doing.

“Ahhh, and here it is.” The old woman’s voice breaks you from your inner dialogue as she walks toward the counter, returning from the back. “Sorry about that sweetheart.”

“No worries, Mrs. Ella.” Your eyes light when you see the item in her hand, even if it’s covered by a cloth bag. The fact that it’s ready is more than enough to make you smile. “Thank you so much for agreeing to this.”

She waves off your concern, offering a warm smile. “Your grandma was one of my best friends. As far as I’m concerned, anything you need is a done deal.”

That warms your heart. Mrs. Ella has been the town seamstress for longer than you’ve been alive but doesn’t look a day over 50. She’s not lying either. Your grandma always cited her as one of her “life” sisters.

“Why don’t we take a look to make sure it’s alright?” She offers, removing the item from the garment bag. She takes the hoodie and turns it over so you can see the back.

In awe, you acknowledge, “it’s perfect.”

Among the many things Joe has gifted Callie, WWE apparel hasn’t really been included in that list. You’ve chalked it up to his hesitation about familiarizing her with his Roman persona. However, you know that girl loves her daddy and will support him in all the things, so you took it upon yourself to pick her up a few items over the holidays. One of those things being a black hoodie with Roman’s picture on the front with him wearing one of his head of the table shirts. Wanting to make it special and personal, you had the idea of customizing it. Thus, asking Mrs. Ella to add to the back, Acknowledge my daddy!, and she did a fabulous job. It looks like that was the original design.

Pulling out your wallet, you ask, “how much do I owe you?”

“It’s on the house.”

Your eyes snap to her. “Mrs. Ella, no, this was a rush—”

“Don’t argue with your elders, child,” she scolds, and you smile warmly. “Just show me a picture of her wearing it, and we’ll be even.”

Moved by her generosity, you offer your gratitude again. “Thank you, Mrs. Ella. Seriously. Thank you.”

Hand over yours, she just nods and then ushers you out the door, “well, you better get a move on child.”

With a small laugh and one more thank you, you leave out with the hoodie, excited to show Callie and even more, to see Joe’s reaction when he sees her wearing it.

“Y/N?”

Fuck. You’d know that voice anywhere, have known it since you were five years old.

That doesn’t mean you have to heed to it.

You keep walking.

A stupid decision, because the footsteps behind you become louder and faster as she asks, exasperated, “would you just talk to me?”

You spin around, suddenly pissed at her repeated question. “Why? Why should I talk to you?”

You’ve dodged and ignored her texts the same way she did yours, so what’s the issue now? Being on the receiving end must be one hell of an unpleasant experience for her. Not that you give two shits. Mariah is the last thing on your plate right now.

Mariah seems taken back, and that just pisses you off more. How can she not see her wrong in this situation? “You’re my best friend, Y/N. We’ve been friends since we were in kindergarten. Does that mean nothing to you?”

“Did it mean something to you when you were fucking Amir?”

Something you can’t identify flashes in her eyes followed by apparent hurt. “Are you serious right now? You’d really believe him over me.” It’s hard to tell how sincere her watery eyes are or if they’re performative. You’ve never known her to be fake, but then again, maybe you’ve never really known her at all. “That’s fucked up.”

Finding some level of compassion and understanding for the woman you called your best friend for almost your entire life, you try to offer her the benefit of the doubt. “Okay, let’s say you’re not fucking him. At the very least, you’ve been telling him my business while ignoring my texts and calls. Like, what the fuck, Mo?”

She shakes her head. “He came to me, worried about you—”

“He came to you nosy and upset because I cut it off with him, and you fell into his trap.” How she can possibly fall for Amir’s bullshit is beyond you. She knows how he is. Hell, she’s been right beside you, up until recent weeks/months, dealing with his bullshit. So, her excuse is just that—an excuse. “And even if he was, as my best friend, you should know that’s still girl code violation.”

It feels almost silly citing that, but the morals behind it still ring true. You would never talk to Caleb about things going on in her life when you know they’re not on good terms. And you damn sure would never fuck him.

“Girl code?That’s funny coming from you, because you didn’t seem to to care about girl code when you were fucking another woman’s husband and had a whole ass baby for him.”

Her words stop you dead in your tracks. Any facial expression you may have been showing is dropped and neutral. Even your voice is softer, less accusatory. “Excuse me?”

For her to say that to you, knowing how sensitive a subject that is truly takes you by surprise. Truly.

It doesn’t stop there though. “I mean, forreal, Y/N. You’re up in my face about Amir, but aren’t you still fucking Joe? Shit, how many niggas do you need?” It’s hard to believe the words coming out her mouth, so angry and hostile. But, even her volume rising has you stumped. It’s like she wants to draw an audience. “It’s not enough to be one man’s whore, but you still gotta have another on the side?”

Truly baffled, all you can ask is, “where is this coming from?”

She sucks her teeth, just as irritated, if not more by your question. “It’s always been this shit with you. You do whatever the fuck you want and don’t care who you hurt or betray in the process!”

And now you’re just straight up confused, because what have you ever done to her? Cause that’s what it sounds like she’s implying. Like you’ve done her wrong. Like you’ve been doing her wrong. “What are you even talking about?”

“You got Joe. You got Amir. Shit, when is enough enough for you?” She scoffs, and it’s hard for you to even look at her let alone listen to all the hurtful things she’s spewing. “Like damn, find a new hobby. Focus on raising your kid—”

And that…..that is the moment that you’re no longer confused, or hurt, or saddened to hear your best friend say such awful things. You’re pissed. Cause one thing no one can convince you you’re not, is a good mother. You’ve dedicated your entire life and being to taking care of Callie, making sure she’s straight. That’s always been your priority, and for her to suggest otherwise….those are really fighting words.

You step toward her, finding all of the will in the world not to shatter her jaw. “You and I have so much history. It is the only reason I’m not whooping your ass right now, but know this, Mariah. This was your freebie. Fuck with me again, speak on my child again, and I’ll bash your fucking head into the nearest wall.” It’s not a threat. It’s a promise. “Stay away from me, bitch.”

You don’t give her time to respond or even yourself the chance to lay her out, you instead rush to your car, locking the door and speeding out of the parking lot.

Your knuckles are nearly white with how tightly you’re gripping the steering wheel.

It’s been a while since you’ve been this hot. Years maybe. Amir would piss you off, sure, but never to the extent of your emotions in this moment. It truly took all resolve and imagining Callie’s disappointed face at not being able to see her dad because you got yourself locked up for aggravated assault to keep you from beating Mariah’s ass. She knows better than anyone that you don’t play about your daughter, so for her to include Callie in her mud slinging is not only repugnant but hurtful.

She’s supposed to be Callie’s godmother.

But beyond that, you’re having a hard time reconciling with the rest of the things she was saying. It didn’t feel like something that’s been building up over the past few months. No, this was different. Much…..deeper.

Regardless, you don’t have time to deal with this shit. You need to put your focus on preparing to bring your little girl to see her dad.

Mariah can fuck off.

She’s always been all bark and no bite anyway.

________

“Mommy.”

Callie doesn’t even have to say anything else for you to know a request is to follow.

“What's up, sis?”

She climbs on top of where you lay on the sofa, you and Alexis watching some random dating show she swears up and down is the best thing since Love is Blind. So far, you’re entirely unimpressed. Granted, reality shows of any kind have never been your cup of tea in the first place.

Your YouTube history is mostly crime documentaries and Bloodline videos.

She climbs on top of you, throwing her arms up and shouting, “dance party!”

Of all her typical requests, that’s one you haven’t heard in a while.

You’ve always raised Callie with music, even back when you were pregnant, you would take your Beats and place them on your belly. It’s seemingly worked because this child loves music, so much so that you two would have random “dance party’s” where you’d blast music and dance around, no care in the world, just the two of you.

You haven’t had one in a while, but seeing Callie so happy, a stark contrast from how she’s been is more than enough to get you up and on your feet. You look over at Alexis. “Come on, Lex, it’s dance party time.”

She feigns a gasp, looking at Callie for approval. “Do I get to come to this party?”

Callie giggles and jumps on the sofa. “Of course! Everyone can come to dance party!”

What’s also ironically funny is the fact that you and Alexis used to have dance parties all the time in your dorm, just often with much more explicit Travis Porter, Speaker Knockerz, type music and a lot of ass shaking.

“Well tonight, it’s just the three of us,” you laugh, grabbing your phone and opening your Spotify to figure out what will be your kickoff song. It’s when your eyes land on that one though, you know you’ve found it.

Connecting your phone to your Bluetooth, you confirm the connection and hit play.

We're a thousand miles from comfort, we have traveled land and sea

But as long as you are with me, there's no place I'd rather be

“My favorite white girl song ever!” Alexis shouts, starting to dance with Callie who’s just as excited about your selection. Together, the three of you dance and sing when the iconic chorus hits.

If you gave me a chance I would take it

It's a shot in the dark but I'll make it

Know with all of your heart, you can't shake me

When I am with you, there's no place I'd rather be

At some point, Alexis grabs your phone, recording and capturing the laughter and joy you experience dancing and being silly with your very, very best friend. Callie’s laughter could revive any soul, and it’s so genuine. Even more, you know a large chunk of it is her excitement to see her dad in a couple of days.

And that makes it all the more special.

Eventually needing a break and time to catch your breath, you laugh as the song ends and the next one starts. Lex and Callie immediately go at it for round two, spinning around and dancing to Dance the Night.

You take a second to check your phone, seeing that you have a Snapchat from Joe. Frowning, you open the message confused as to why he’s using that and not just text. He only has the damn app because you made him get it. He’s not very big on social media outside of occasional Instagram posts.

Swiping it open, you see why he was messaging you on there.

Because your wonderful best friend sent him the video she recorded of the three of you dancing.

Joe: How do I save this?

Joe: Fuck it. It’s too confusing. Just send it to me.

Laughing, you chew on your bottom lip and type out a reply.

You: You’re such an old man. 😩

You: But yes, I’ll send it, even if I didn’t know Alexis was recording to send it to you...

You: Callie loves “dance parties” lol

Joe: I love her laugh. She looks so happy…

You: I know. ❤️ She loves music. Def my kid.

You: Skillet is next on the queue, btw. 🙃

Joe: Don’t know what that is, but if I had to take a guess, it’s some rock shit.

You: You know me so well. 😊

Joe: Of course, baby.

Leaving his thread, you realize that if she sent it to Joe, she probably posted it to your private story as well, which is fine. You only have people on there you know and trust to keep the contents within that space.

But, it’s in checking the views that you see Mariah not only watched but screen recorded your story. It’s strange, normally you wouldn’t think twice about it. She’s always screenshotted and screen recorded stuff you posted, and you did the same with Micah.

But now…..

Now, it feels wrong to share these moments with her. She’s lost that privilege.

Moving to your contacts, you ignore her old Snapchat name she never uses anymore and instead just block her primary one from seeing your stories, and that includes close friends. And interestingly enough, when you check your texts, you see one from her muted thread that momentarily causes you to pause.

Mariah: Kinda stupid to ice out the one person who knows everything about you.

But the pause comes and goes, Mariah always says shit, and that’s where it stops, the saying. She’s always been the mouse of you two, and that shit ain’t changed.

Closing up the app, you switch back to Spotify and focus on what’s before you and not behind you.

You have all the people you need in your life.

Mariah can fuck off.

#roman reigns x black!oc #roman reigns x black!reader #roman reigns fic #roman reigns #arisnotebook

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saeist · 2 years ago

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itoshi brothers reaction to their little sister wearing a different jersey and supporting someone else 😭

anon ur mind… should i make this into a series 😭 100 milestone special

can you imagine the reaction of both brothers when they see you lounging around the house with a jersey that’s not from their respective teams?

sae never misses the chance to give you a jersey from his matches. he always makes sures to get two of the same jerseys no matter what. sae would never admit this though. when he gives you his jerseys, he just tells you it’s an old one but it’s a lie. he has his own sitting in his luggage, gym bag, you name it, it’s there. he personally got one for you cause you were his sister after all

rin on the other hand is the same but he only gives you hand me downs such as the blue lock one. if rin grows out of a jersey, you bet that said jersey will end up in your hands

so just imagine the look on their faces when you’re lounging at the couch, wearing a jersey from a team they’re not even in on.

sae is visibly pissed. you can tell by the way his eyes are more narrowed than usual and has his infamous bitch face on that he only makes when there were press around him.

rin is not as pissed like sae but he’s just wondering who owns that jersey. he only gets mad when he tries to connect the dots or something and ended up assuming isagi or someone from blue lock gave it to you behind his back (he already had a talk with his blue lock mates that they should not breathe, touch, or be even in the vicinity as you when you’re around or they’re gonna get “it” from him)

both brothers sit at each side of you and you can tell the atmosphere in the living room has shifted. i mean, it’s not like you’re used to it at this point but, what gives bros?

sae scans you from the bottom to the top with a face you can’t quite pinpoint. was he mad? was he disgusted? what’s he thinking? you can’t tell. you turn your head to rin for some help but he had the same face on.

was there something on your face?

“if you guys are just gonna be breathing heavily next to me and not say a word then i’m just gonna leave” you raise a brow at your two (idiotic) brothers. to which they only reply with them clicking their tongues and some grumbles under their breaths.

sae was the first one to break the ice

“who’s jersey is that?” sae frowns. like a deep frown. was this mf really THAT petty over a jersey?

you looked down at the shirt you were wearing and it was from bastard münchen.

“oh, it’s bastard münchen merch. this is kaiser’s jersey if i’m not mistaken” you explain, even turning around to show sae the number on your back. when you return back to your original position, sae looked like you just dropped the biggest bomb on him and he didn’t like it one bit. he instantly gets all over your face, basically interrogating you on why you would waste the hard earned money he gave you to buy another jersey that isn’t from real madrid (hc that he gives you allowance 😋)

“why the fuck would you even buy from bastard münchen? is real madrid’s merchandise not enough? is the quality shit? hold on, i’m gonna have to tell the managers about this. just why y/n. WHY”

sae almost goes into a complete mental breakdown. over you wearing some team’s merch instead of his own team, real madrid

“and it had to be kaiser’s number too”

“what’s so bad with kaiser?”

sae doesn’t answer directly but continues to bitch about kaiser and bastard münchen specifically. mumbling about something you can’t quite understand

you look at your other brother, rin. just to like check if you two were looking at the same thing, sae literally pacing around the living room with his arms crossed and his hands rolled up into a fists but all you see is rin concentrating really hard that was outright sweating and you can see prominent veins on the sides of his head

“that damn isagi…” you hear rin murmur beside you. oh hell nah, not rin too.

“rin-nii..?”

“have you been talking to isagi? how do you even know about bastard münchen? does this mean you’ve been talking to isagi behind my back? why didn’t you buy pxg’s instead?”

another set of questions (more like interrogation) comes rolling in.

at this point you are already feeling like you’re going insane with your brothers acting like it was the end of the world.

“guys.. i literally watch blue lock tv. of course i fucking know about bastard münchen!” you curse

both brothers stop their idiocy and both turn to you with stern faces, together they go,

“NO FUCKING CURSING”

#theyre so dumb… i love the itoshis #blue lock imagines #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #bllk imagines #blue lock scenarios #bllk scenarios #rin imagines #sae imagines #sae itoshi imagines #rin itoshi imagines #itoshi brothers #ads’ 100 milestone #from: unknown sender #you have (1) new message!#oib lore

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autumn-hiraeth · 1 year ago

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I think I saw that requests were still open, and I was wondering if you could make a scenario where Y/N’s been having a bad couple of weeks, so their mental health isn’t exactly the best, and one night they’re standing on top of a building looking down but Hobie stops them and comforts them? I also have another one, but I’ll just make one suggestion at a time 😅

hi, anon! 🪞- Hope you like it! <3

California!

Hobie brown x reader

angst. fluff. Reader has a breakdown. headcanons.

Being a spider!person is hard.

a/n : i wrote this while i was listening California by Lana del rey. You can find more here " hobie's masterlist"

Hobie hasn't seen you in weeks and all he wants is to kiss you, maybe push you against a wall and give you a taste of what you gonna get when you two go home. However, your lover knows you so well that he knows something is wrong with you 'cause you're so quiet and don't even seem to realize that he's in the same room with you.

When Hobie wants to get close to you, Miguel is sending you two on another mission.

But his eyes are on you at all times though, Hobie knows the anomaly must be caught but you're his priority. Always. Hobie is aware that you're in the same place as him, but you're not really with him. So when you both catch the anomaly he follows you 'cause he definitely isn't leaving you alone.

You take off your mask when you reach the top of the building, you still can't remove that pressure on your chest and while you close your eyes remembering the hard weeks you've had you feel less excited to continue with all the responsibilities that came with being you; take care of your universe, fight against anomalies, not fail in college and above all keep lying to everyone you love just to protect them. You thought maybe Miguel could give you a break, but he's not making it easy. "That's how this job works Y/n...". You just wanna go back to your universe and hide in your room (as if that could give you comfort) but instead you're in another universe and you don't even realize your lover is next to you. Watching your moves.

Suddenly you're standing too close to the edge of the building and you're looking down; what if.. ? You wanna take another step, it's an intrusive thought and yet Hobie is always there to support you; he holds your arm carefully before you can do anything.

"what are you doin' luv?" he tries to joke but he's really worried. "Just watching" you lie and he knows it, but he doesn't say anything, he just pulls you to wrap his hands around your body, his hand caressing up and down your back while your head rest on his chest, feeling his heart pounding for you.

"You know you don't have to be stronger than you already are when you're in my arms luv" your lover whispers while you sob weakly "I got you hun" he mutters, leaving a kiss on your temple

"This is so hard Hobie, I didn't think it could be that hard" your voice cracks, you've reached your limit and he doesn't make you feel weak about it.

Hobie knows how hard it is, so he hugs you tight as he whispers words of comfort "it's okay, we're going to get through this" "I'm here Y/n, lean on me" "you're so brave luv " Hobie knows he can't protect you from the hard life that comes with being a spider person and he hates it but he'll make it easier for you, he'd do anything for you.

#hobie brown x reader #hobie brown x fem!reader #hobie brown x you #hobie brown x y/n #hobie brown #hobie brown headcanons #hobie brown fluff #hobie brown angst #hobie brown spider punk #spider punk x you #spider punk x y/n #spider punk x reader #hobie x reader #hobie x fem!reader #hobie x y/n #hobie x you #hobie brown imagine #x reader

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crimsondinnerparty · 3 months ago

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Will’s Dogs: The Symbol of His Humanity

Okay, let’s talk about Will Graham’s dogs, because those fluffy angels aren’t just there to make us melt (though let’s be real, they *do*). They’re literally the *only* good thing in Will’s life, and every time I see them, I feel like screaming, "Protect them at all costs!" But, obviously, the dogs aren’t just *dogs* in the show. They’re kind of like… the metaphorical line in the sand between Will’s humanity and the absolute chaos that’s constantly trying to swallow him whole. 😬

Will’s Empathy: It’s Not Just for Killers: Will’s dogs are proof that he can still *feel* something other than murder brain. Sure, he gets all up in the heads of serial killers, but when he’s home with his dogs, we see a whole different side of him. Here, Will’s empathy is pure—it’s not about *understanding* the mind of a killer or navigating the manipulation of Hannibal; it’s just him loving these innocent creatures who *need* him. They ground him, tbh.

The dogs are literally his last safe space where he can be soft. While Hannibal wants Will to embrace the darkness, the dogs remind us that Will still has a heart, and that heart isn’t *completely* blackened (yet). 🖤

Dogs = Will’s Only Chill Time: Let’s face it, the only time Will seems *okay* is when he’s with his dogs. Every other second of his life, he’s basically a walking mental breakdown, but when he’s chilling with those puppers, it’s like he gets a break from all the murder nonsense. The dogs are his escape from the madness, his little slice of normalcy. And, uh, given that normalcy for Will is basically non-existent at this point, the dogs are doing some *heavy lifting* here.

You can *feel* the tension lift when he’s with them. He’s not "Will Graham, FBI’s broken toy" or "Hannibal’s future murder husband"—he’s just *Will*, the guy who loves his dogs. It’s his only connection to something *real* and *good* in a world full of manipulation and darkness.

3. The Dogs Are as Fragile as Will Is (HELP) : Now, here’s the part where I get real anxious: the dogs are basically a symbol of Will’s humanity, right? The more Will descends into the chaos of his own mind (thanks, Hannibal), the more fragile the dogs feel. They’re a reflection of Will’s *fragile* hold on who he used to be.

4. Hannibal Is a Danger to the Dogs, Even When He’s Not : Okay, Hannibal might not be like, “I’m gonna kill Will’s dogs,” because even he knows that’s crossing a *line* (the fandom would riot), but let’s be real: his influence on Will is still a danger to the dogs. The more Hannibal screws with Will’s mind, the more Will’s ability to keep his dogs safe (and himself sane) starts to crack.

Like, Will’s whole identity is at war between the darkness Hannibal keeps pulling him into and the part of him that still wants to be *normal* (LOL, what’s normal, though?). And the dogs? They’re caught in the crossfire. As long as they’re around, they’re a sign that there’s still a shred of humanity left in Will. But if he fully gives in to Hannibal’s influence? 😬 Don’t make me say it…

5. The Dogs Are Will’s Moral Compass: The dogs are a *literal* moral compass. They show us there’s still hope for Will. When he’s with them, it’s like he’s *recharging* his soul. But here’s the kicker: the darker things get for Will, the more those dogs feel like a symbol of the last line he hasn’t crossed yet. Like, every time he pets them, I’m like, “PLEASE REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE, WILL.” 😩

The dogs are the final barrier between Will and total moral collapse. As long as they’re okay, we can hold onto hope. But if anything happens to those dogs… y’all, it’s game over for our boy.

---

TL;DR: Will’s dogs are the last pure, uncorrupted thing in his life, a fragile reminder of the humanity he still has. As long as they’re around, there’s hope for him. But Hannibal’s influence makes us fear for their safety—because if Will loses them, he might lose himself, too.

#hannibal #hannigram #will graham #hannibal meta #hannibal lecter #will graham's dogs #will graham meta #murder husbands #nbc hannibal #humanity vs darkness #character analysis #empathy

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maccreadysbaby · 1 year ago

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Do you still do writing tips?? Cause I need tips on writing a child (12/13) who’s been trained to be living weapon their whole life??

OH MY GOD YES. I LOVE YOU.

this is a massive post I’m sorry

Writing a Child Who was Raised to be a Weapon

tw just for abuse, eating disorders, and the like mentioned below

NOW. This is one of my favorite archetypes used in modern media, if you couldn’t tell by my batfamily oc insert (little mister was-only-kept-alive-to-destroy-bruce-wayne. hi there, bentley, love you!)

While this is a very compelling and interesting type of character to create and flesh out, it’s easy to brush over some of the inner dialogue and thought patterns these children would have, because most people irl don’t have them. (Unless you were raised as a super assassin, in which case, please don’t kill me, and I love you)

The bottom line is, the characters entire personality and dynamic with other people relies on what background you give them. And that’s where I come in! Hi, I’m maccreadysbaby, and I’m going to propose some of the routes you can take in writing these cute little (deadly) guys!

COMMUNICATION ↴

none of these children are going to communicate normally, because they aren’t normal. they weren’t raised with a family, or good support system. they might:

be terrified of others. slow to trust. especially if you’re writing a child who was abused when they failed. for example, my oc, bentley, was horrified to be in proximity with any of bruce wayne’s family because he was afraid they would hurt him like his father did. he was afraid to cry in front of them, afraid to admit he was tired or sick or scared, afraid to ask for help, afraid to speak first, because it was all things he’d gotten punished for before. they might also have a terrible relationship with failure, because failure brings pain, and could potentially crumble if they fail or think they’re going to fail whatever they’re doing. (a mission, an assassination, or simple things like a school test or a task someone asked them to complete.) maybe they’re really good at holding it together and pretending they aren’t scared, but after all, they’re just kids. the cracks in their mask are gonna show one way or another.

shut people out. this could be from fear, or from being taught relationships are bad and makes them weak and vulnerable. they might not communicate because they don’t want to have another potential weak spot. they might keep their distance, stay quiet, not come out often. they might come across as cold and heartless, but it’s really them just trying to protect themselves, be it from pain, from the idea of eventual heartbreak, etc. but there is a problem with shutting people out, and it’s that they’re also shutting themselves in, like a prison. kids who choose to shut people out and bottle up everything they feel are slightly more prone to emotional outbursts and breakdowns. especially if they’re fairly young.

learn different ways to communicate, such as sign language, their actions, body language, etc. they won’t do it like everybody else and that’s okay! you can take so many liberties with this. maybe they make origami swans and leave them on the nightstands of people they decide they like. maybe they highlight lines in books and leave them places to tell someone how they feel. maybe they’re an absolute little jerkhole that’s mean to everyone because they weren’t taught how to do it any differently. maybe they’re insanely submissive people-pleasers that do everything asked of them because they were created to take orders. the possibilities are endless. go on an adventure!

be overly trusting. you typically see this in characters on the younger end of the spectrum, but you can drag it up into teenagers, too. a child that’s been abused or suppressed in any way, physically, emotionally, or mentally might decide they wholeheartedly trust the first person who is nice to them, who doesn’t cause them pain. there might even be a little bit of lag time between the meeting and the kindness and the trusting, but when it comes, it comes full force to the face. they’d trust these people to protect their lives and might even cling to them, or run to them as an escape from whoever raised them. (assuming they are afraid of the people who raised them.) they might even allow themselves to open up and become more than just a human weapon in the presence of these lucky folks.

believe that they’re superior to everyone else. obviously they are a higher class, a finer type of person. they can kill in seconds, they’re a master at martial arts, they can have an adult wrapped around their finger within the first minute of meeting them, they can make a person cave with a single sentence, they’re just better. better than all these civilians who let their emotions get in the way, who let other people walk all over them and boss them around. they’re too good for that. this is also a great one to add in some angst. arrogance and pride are often founded on the feelings of uselessness, worthlessness, or that they can’t (or don’t deserve to) be loved. it’s like a defense mechanism. no one likes me — obviously it’s because of my blindingly obvious superiority. they’re so much better that they don’t need love, kindness, care. (but yes, they actually do. they’ll probably break down crying or throw someone across the room the moment it’s given because it opens their eyes to the fact that they’re literally freaking starving for it like they haven’t eaten in their entire lives. my GOD give these kids a hug.)

FOOD ↴

i know this seems random, but it’s something you need to know about your character because it heavily impacts their mental state, mannerisms, energy, and health. chances are being raised as a weapon, they won’t have a stable relationship with food or eating. here are some examples of how you could make them!

refusing to eat. if your child character has had bad experiences in the past regarding food, such as someone using food to manipulate them (if you don’t do this you don’t get food.), torture them (purposefully feeding them something that makes them sick or have an allergic reaction, even poisoned food.), or if there are bad memories tied to eating (always getting fed before terrible missions, or before days locked somewhere, torture sessions, punishments, etc.) your child may not want to eat at all. after all, these are still just kids and they’re going to try and avoid everything that can trigger negative feelings, memories, or circumstances. if food is one of them, your other characters are probably going to have to help reassure them that they can eat and need to (if they’re in the presence of nice characters.) if you’re wanting to go a more severe route, you can even write them getting diagnosed with anorexia (an eating disorder that heavily involves not eating at all.) but of course, you don’t have to. (i didn’t.) just remember, they are growing kids and are going to be hungry whether they like it or not. but they will try to hide it if hunger has been used against them, which is a good point for hurt/comfort writing, since hunger can cause anything as small and embarrassing as their stomach growling loudly in front of everybody to severe stomach cramps (like your organs being tied in a terribly tight knot), vomiting, and fainting. all things considered, you can take a more severe route, or just write about them working with the help of friends to get up to a better food intake level and higher weight.

struggling to eat. if your child has not been fed properly for most or all of their lives, and then are put into a homelife where they have food at their disposal, they still might struggle with it. (for example, my character, bentley, was severely starved by his father for the first ten years of his life and when he gets put into a new home, he struggles to eat much at all and sometimes feels sick when he eats ‘too much’, even though he should be eating more in general.) of course, this comes with a host of complications and all the symptoms that come with malnutrition, not to mention that they won’t even be close to the size they’re supposed to be. (bentley was the size of a 6-7 year old at the ages of 9&10.) this is similar to the last bullet point in the sense that you can go the more serious anorexia route, or the kind people helping them stay on track route

over-eating. this one is more common for youngsters who didn’t have access to food most of their lives, but it wasn’t used against them or withheld from them by another person. (a good example would be a child trained in an area where people routinely don’t have access to food.) this is highly derived from food insecurity, where they think they have to eat everything they’re given because they don’t know when they’ll eat next. (this can also be used for characters in the bullet point above.) this also can cause health issues and routine sickness. (for example, my character, asten (11yrs), who lived in a poverty stricken part of his city and barely ate outside of school, routinely eats himself sick when he has access to food because he’s been starving without it.) this food insecurity can also lead to extreme emetophobia (fear of vomiting) because they don’t want to lose what they do have in them, which can pose a massive problem when this child is either so empty or so full that they need to throw up. so, if they’re put into a household where they have access to food, it might be a constant stream of stomach aches and nights spent in the bathroom while the person helps reassure them that they will always have food and they don’t have to eat it all now. (sorry this is gross but it needs to be said.)

here is a drabble that i wrote recently involving a malnourished child due to poverty, with his internal dialogue and thought processes, if that will help any of you.

ANXIETY / PTSD ↴

oh boy. these kids will have it, given how they’ve been raised. the question is in how they treat it and deal with it.

hiding it. maybe they were trained to see fear and anxiousness as weakness. the flinch when someone moves too fast, the tightness in their chest at a certain noise, the inability to breathe if they see someone’s face, they’re going to hide it because their fine and they’re tough. no one has to know that they have nightmares every night and cry when they’re alone. you can even extend this into anxiety/asthma/panic attacks that they keep hidden. (typically by leaving social settings when they feel it coming on.) no one has to know that they’re so weak. they might lash out in anger or irritation if they’re routinely asked if they’re okay because they need these people to back off before they fall apart in front of them. they might have little mannerisms that other people might notice for calming or showing anxiety, like biting their nails, bouncing their leg, pinching themselves, quietly doing breathing exercises, etc. PTSD will come more like nightmares and anxiety attacks and flashbacks, and they can’t always hide those no matter how much they want to. the severity of anxiety and PTSD depends on how graphic you make their backstory. (for example, my character, bentley, has nightmares of being abused, which he breaks down crying after. in his instances, he’s never alone. similarly, he once started crying when he saw christmas decorations similar to those his abuser used to have, and he has his first anxiety attack when he sees his abuser in public) you can keep the character secretive about it or let them have a big old breakdown in front of someone else, your choice.

not hiding it at all. if they’re with someone they trust, they might just let loose. (that’s what happened to bentley once he learned his new family didn’t care if he looked weak and wanted to help him) they might tell someone when they’re feeling scared or anxious or bad in any way. they might just cry right in front of them when they have to and have attacks with someone close and all the things because they’re not alone anymore and these people want to help. it might take a while for them to get to this point, and no one blames them. (for example, bentley was really anxious for school so he went to his new guardians room in the middle of the night) and remember, any steps these kiddos take closer to asking for help is HUGE! make sure your other characters encourage them and let them know they’re proud for reaching out :)

keep in mind that if they’ve never been talked to about it, they might have no freaking clue what’s going on if they have an attack of some sort, and will probably need someone to explain to them what’s going on and that they aren't going to die.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk! If you have more specific questions send them in anon!

#creative writing #writing #writing help #writing angst #writing tips #character tips

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kindaasrikal · 6 months ago

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The ninja deserve emotional support animals except they’re them so none of them get a damn dog or something.

Zane has a penguin, he’s lovingly called zaneguin (real name: Peniuella, or Penny) (Penny gets along with Zane’s bird) (he rlly wanted a polar bear. Wu said no) (he waddles with the penguin, bro loves waddling.) (he once waddles over to some villains full penguin style as a on the spot distraction. Cole gave him a lecture about safety and being smart. Zane waddled away right after it was done.)

Kai has a parrot, bro loves his parrot (he’s called parry the parrot and he’s taught him how to scream FIYAAAAA) (Kai is usually the first ninja up for training, so he actually get his parrot to wake the others (Nya) up by putting Parry in their room and getting him to scream their elements.) (its become a common thing to hear ‘WATAHHHHH’ at 6am in the morning) (or ‘GREANNNNNNNN’ or maybe ‘ARTHHHHHH’ in a really deep voice. Cole had nightmares after hearing how deep Parry’s voice can get.)

Lloyd has a ferret, he’s just a ferret kinda guy. He also got a chinchilla soon after cause he got the dust for a dust bath, and then found out ferrets can’t have dust baths (he just wanted a lil guy to have a dust bath with.) (Yeah you heard me, Lloyd does dust baths. He likes the feeling of it.) (he rlly wanted to called his ferret ferry the ferret but Kai already took the joke, he called him Mr Ferrington instead.) (plus his Chinchilla is called Chilly, he loves dressing him up in mini versions of Zane’s gi because of it.)

Nya has two rats, she calls them her babies (don’t insult her rats, she will drown you.) (Jay named one Ratatouille, and as much as she hated the name she had no choice but to keep it, Jay would be sad if she didn’t.) (the other rat is called Rumphly. She thought it sounded sophisticated.) (she lets her rats burrow in her hair.) (she also has to protect everything she owns, her rats chew on everything and anything. Nothing is free from their menacing little mouths.)

Jay has a spider. He’s a lil weirdo like that (its a deadly spider) (he found it in his workshop) (it was 2:54 am and dark) (he almost died from the damn thing) (Pixal almost lost it when Jay literally clung to her begging her not to kill it-sorry, my mistake, her.) (he stays up late at night building stuff and chatting to her and she dances every time Jay goes on an excited ramble.)

Cole has a lizard, and it’s a Chameleon. He named her Lizzy (Kai calls her Queenie.) (he lowkey lost Lizzy on her first day and had a breakdown) (Jay said that defeated the purpose of an emotional support animal) (until at 11pm at night they found out Lizzy was just chilling in Cole’s hair and they just couldn’t tell) (everyone thought Cole was gonna be annoyed, but bro lowkey broke down again because he got emotional about how she clung to him the whole time.) (he got Lizzy because he missed Rocky) (I miss Rocky too)

+extras

Morro has a rabbit. Named Chompy (and they’re a ghost) (lowkey Morro has no idea what Chompy is, the lil brat just jumped onto him and went ‘CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP’ and bit him.) (it looks like a rabbit, if oni’s could be rabbits.) (he blames Garmadon, he probably corrupted the damn thing and now he has some weird monstrous rabbit attached to him) (he does like telling Chompy to attack tho. He finds it hilarious when the other ghosts are sent running) (their convos go like ‘No Chompy, you can’t eat my book’ ‘chomp chomp?’ ‘Because i said so.’ ‘Chomp chomp!’ ‘Uh, yes, i can.’ ‘Chomp chomp chomp!!’ ‘Wha-why you little-’) (everyone thinks he’s mentally unstable for thinking he can understand them) (and maybe he is but you can shove it, he deserves to talk to weird monster animals who actually like him, after what ever octopus bull the preeminent pulled)

Skylor has a turtle, she got him from Griffin (he couldn’t take care of him all the time and got busy so he asked Skylor if she’s willing to co-parent) (she had to agree that turtle was giving her puppy eyes) (they love acting like divorcees) (Kai pretends to the new boyfriend who hates the og partner) (the turtle is named Grecko) (Griffin wanted to mess with people who thought he was talking about an actual Gecko when instead he was talking about a turtle named Grecko) (Skylor loved and hated it at the same time) (she calls him Greg.) (she gets Greg to walk small distances over to kids in her restaurant and give them food) (the kids love him.)

Neuro has a mouse, five, to be precise. (Nya got the idea for a rat from Neuro, who has to explain to her the difference between the two.) (he loves letting them hide in random places of his body.) (don’t be surprised when you’re talking to him and a mouse just pops out of his shirts collar.) (he doesn’t even look phased.) (he’s accepted his fate as a climbing tree) (he is also trying to learn how to speak mouse by reading their minds) (its going…somewhere.)

Pixal has her lil robots. She loves mini pix with all her heart thats her baby.

Wu has his damn chicken and his chicken has been around for centuries. Morro also loved the chicken.

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chaifootsteps · 3 months ago

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How I imagine the SH writing room

Crew: and then Blitzø the gang to LA to track down Loona—

Vivzie: And stolas is there.

Crew: What?

Vivzie: And Stolas is there. For Stolitz.

Crew: But Viv we have a concept written of blitzø and Loona. Stolas just had the entire musical premier all about him, two songs about Blitzø, episode 4 is about him, and he has three more music numbers about Blitzø on the way. The fans will notice. We can’t just shoehorn in your favouri—

Vivzie: Stolas is there too or I’m pulling the plug.

Crew: (sigh) okay fine. Stolas tags along.

Vivzie: And it’s his daughter who ran away. Oh and then he treats everyone like dirt especially the imps, and abuses them viciously and angrily. Make sure to have a shot where he bursts into the office and terrifies the main four and they beg for mercy for upsetting his day. He strangles one imp to near death and Blitzø has a panic attack about having to contact him in the first place. Also Loona beats Blitzø to bloody bruises.

Crew: What?? Why?!

Vivzie: It pleases me.

Crew: Jesus Viv.

Vivzie: He’s not there. And I want two scenes of blitzø finding stolas really hot. Yknow, for the fans.

Crew: Yes we know…okay fine. Shove a blush and a smile in a random scene for Viv or something. Gonna feel a bit weird in the middle of abuse though. Anyways IMP tracks down the runaway. Who is Via now, not Loona. They have a touching scene where Blitzø apologises, and we were going to have Loona apologise here but I guess stolas can give his apology for—

Vivzie: Stolas does not apologise.

Crew: But you said he was being terrible?

Vivzie: Because that pleases me.

Crew: You said he strangled a guy.

Vivzie: Well because it’s funny. I like watching stolas hurt people. And the imp should have gotten out of the way. If Stolas apologises then we have to admit he did something wro—(gags) wrongg. And my fans might think they’re allowed to not like me-I mean him.

Crew: okay…and does Loona apologise?

Vivzie: No have her kick blitzø down and have him apologise for making her angry enough to beat him up. Then Loona tells that brat, Stolas is the best dad in hell but make it less blatant than that. Octavia apologises to her dad too. Make sure stolas and Blitzø are holding hands.

Crew: Okay…how did we even get here.

Vivzie: And I want the start of the episode to open with Stolas talking about space with cool meteor visuals.

Crew: More Stolas in Space? Fine…god i cant even remember what the original premise was… Um Viv? With this Blitzø battering and his several mental breakdowns, and now the retcon that the book deal was started by his flirting, and the anti blitzø party coming up. Did Blitzø piss in your house plants or something?

Vivzie: (scribbling stolitz smut) did you say something?

I feel like this is probably barely exaggerated from the reality.

#Anonymous #vivziepop critical #helluva boss critical #viv stuff #actual blog post

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kalechipswithasideofkale · 6 months ago

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my adrenaline has gone down finally so i feel i can give my thoughts on this season

no more faks! no more! please!

i think the series is taking inspiration from different art movements and genres. season one - surrealism?, season two - modernism?, season three - baroque? im not well versed on this stuff but i definitely noticed they use different forms of art to make the seasons feel different from one another

piggybacking off the earlier bulletin; i think thats also why this season feels like all flash and no substance. whatever movement or era they decided to do with season three is very ou la la oui oui i zam an artist bonjour /nm its very different from the movements they went with in the past seasons. this one feels serious and fancy smancy

i still think they’re going to go through with sydcarmy and this season just solidifies it. syd and carmy are severly mentally ill with issues they need to work out. they dont handle stress and expectations well if at all.

i think some of the things being said by the characters are being taken at face value specifically carmy calling claire peace. i dont think the writers are writing claire to be a source of peace for carmy; hes just so in denial and confused about his emotions he knows he supposed to feel peace from claire but cant figure out why he doesnt

i missed marcus sweeps and tina in this season so much. and syd! i was excited for sweeps to go to wine school only for it to be a one off thing. the tina episode was good but thats the only thing i can think of from the top of my head that she stood out in. marcus’ mom died? but it feels like she didnt die at all? like the weight of his moms death isnt being felt in his character and that made me really sad. i wanted a little more with syd and marcus with their moms :/

im not angry at carmy somehow? i just feel this deep sadness because he is so unlike himself. my initial frustrations with the season made it hard for me to look at his character. now that ive calmed down, he just makes me sad. like thinking about him makes me feel like a wet sausage dude he needs serious help and im scared he’s gonna do something very bad in this next season/part

i was really hoping there would be more parallels between new york carmy and current syd. they might explore it in season 4 and i really hope they do!

where tf was everyone else in the emergency room and why was it the two faks. there is no dissection in the world that will make me okay with those losers being there im sawry

syd being the first person sugar called and claire being the last mhm yup 🙂‍↕️

a good chunk of claire and carmys scenes being muted or cool colors once again!

RICHIE AND HIS DAUGHTER AA!! i wish they had an entire episode dedicated to them theyre so cute!

theres something to be said about loneliness and isolation this season? again i would need to rewatch the season. something something carmy pushing syd away something something nat fearing giving birth because of her mom something something syd having a breakdown and isolating herself from the rest of the fam something something

pete ❤️

chris you have reached ur limit on white male characters enough is enough theres NO MORE ROOM

ngl i actually liked seeing john cena on my screen yall pls

why are we so close to everyones face i zont like zat at all

i thought they were going to bring louis back and got so excited!!! BRING BACK LOUIS

they wrap up the claire storyline by season 4 or part three?? whatever theyre doing idk

LUCA!!!!!!

as much one sided beef i have with jlc she delivered i crode very hard

backseating the characters of color is very lame and bogus! i hated it! what happened to tinas friends she met at school? does ebra not have family? syd and her dad? marcus and his roommate? so many characters they could introduce from sydney marcus tina ebra fuck even angel and manny but they insist on introducing characters that have ties to the berzattos. i hate it! i really do!

syds apartment? where did you go fren….

i wish they were more artsy fartsy with carmys internal struggles give me cringe film student vibes please ill take anything

FUCK CICERO he didnt do anything but PISS ME OFF >:(

why didnt they have syd work out the economics (or whatever tf that computer dude did do). didnt she do something like that in season one? i guess since cicero called him it makes sense

richie and nat are so adorable i love them!!!!

overall pretty mediocre season. it was okay for a show like the bear. i don’t agree with having an entire season dedicated to build up! or atleast in the way they’ve done it in season 3. season 1 was a prologue for the entire show yet it still felt like a complete season. alot of the things that went down in season three either could’ve been compressed into a shorter span of time or they could’ve gotten more episodes (as if its that easy lol but the pacing wouldn’t have suffered as much if the season was longer). um decent season? i dont hate it! i dont love it either. like i said it feels soulless and maybe thats the intention? idk man 😔

i will most definitely be seated for season four TRUST

#the bear spoilers #sydcarmy #carmy berzatto #sydney adamu #tina marrero #gary sweeps #marcus brooks #luca the bear #richie jerimovich #i am calm #i think #that was a season!#there was some good #there was some not so good #the bear fx #how did i forget to tag the literal show #ebra the bear

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fantasticallyfruity4 · 2 years ago

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Okay idk abt where y’all are from but my local HS had a paramedic on site for football games at all times.

And considering we’re all down bad for paramedic Steve rn, this feels like a great au (Also, has to be punk Steve bc like, it’s me come on, I want to give Eddie a heart attack.)

Lucas decides he wants to try out for football fall of sophomore year and the part is, begrudgingly supportive.

And max and Dustin are on marching band, so they’re at the games to. And Mike and el and will and Jonathan are just there on the basis of comradely and good friendly support. And of corse Eddie and his van have to be the kids chief mode of transport.

And Eddie doesn’t meet paramedic Steve (cute paramedic Steve with the lip ring and the nose ring and the eyebrow stud) because poor sweet little Lucas got squished by some freak out on the field, or bc his good friend chrissy took a hell of a tumble coming down from a cheer and he’s such a worried friend fussing over her like a mother hen, or bc somehow someway Dustin got whacked in the nose by a flute.

No, he does this all by himself. All his own brilliance. He went to check on the Byers + co contingency before going back to hovering over his little band babies + his two accidentally adopted jocks, and takes a fucking header off the bleachers. Clears a good 3 feet if he doesn’t say so himself.

So sweet pretty paramedic Steve of corse rushes over to him in an instant, sitting him up against the side bleachers, shining a light in his eyes, asking where he is, when it is, his name, and they’ve got a little crowd of the byers + wheeler + the little Mayfield and Henderson but Steve’s paying them no attention and Eddie doesn’t even see them.

The paramedic introduces himself as Steve, he says “I’m Steve and I’m gonna make sure that you’re feeling okay tonight, okay sir?” And eddie nods dumbly.

And Eddie is answering sure, but he’s really making Steve worried bc he’s so wide eyed and taking a second to answer and it’s just worry some (he’s having a very in love mental breakdown, okay, let him be. He’s speed running visions of a life together. He’s understanding what “love at first sight” means for the first time in his life.). He’s got a the man he didn’t even know was in his dreams fussing over him. He’s going to explode.

“If I knew I’d have such a cute paramedic I’d have fallen off that wayyyy earlier tonight” Eddie says then slams his mouth shut and goes wide eyed in horror. Steve just laughs, a beautiful sound. Not at Eddie, no it doesn’t feel taunting, it’s a beautiful sweet sound.

“We’ll, if you’re thinking clearly enough to hit on me I think you’re heads definitely okay. Do you have a headache at all? Any dizzyness? You took a hell of a header, Eddie.”

Eddie shakes his head. “No just like my actual nose hurts from smacking into the dirt”.

Steve nods. “May I?” “Corse man it’s your job”.

Steve chuckles. “Stop making me laugh man, I’m on the clock. Does this hurt?” “No” Eddie answers in the most nasally voice with Steve’s fingers still squeezing his nose and he wants to die because what was that sound? But Steve just smiles softly. “Good, awesome. No pain? Breathing okay?”. Eddie nods dumbly. “So I’m gonna bet it’s just sore from smacking into the dirt, not broken.”.

Eddie nods dumbly. Again. For the 20th time that night. He can’t function. “So why don’t we just get these cuts here cleaned up?” Steve decides, reaching into his bag for a million supplies. “Think I’m gonna get any cool scars?” “Nah sorry man, not with these little guys. But it’s for the best, why mess with perfection anyway, right?” Steve winks dabbing some shit that BURNS on Eddie’s cheek before putting on a bandaid and Eddie might be going into cardiac arrest.

“I like your uh, piercings” Eddie spurts out like an idiot.

Steve grins. “Thanks. Got a peak of those bats when I first came over, got any more?”. Eddie snorts a laugh. “Yeah a shit ton. Nothing easy to see though my uncle would hang me if I made myself any less hirable”. Steve chuckles at that. “Hey man the whole f-d is all old military dudes covered in their shitty navy tats, i wouldn’t be too worried.” “Oh so there’s more where this came from? Maybe I should fall more” Eddie taxes, just a little. “Watch it” Steve chuckles.

“Okay I think you’re pretty patched up, handsome. But considering everything don’t drive tonight, especially if you have passengers. You have a ride home? Someone to call?” “Yeah I’ll just make it one of my friend Jonathan’s problem, that’s fine”.

“Okay, good” Steve nodded, taking out a small pen and pad from his pocket and writing something. “And this friend Jonathan… he’s not a boyfriend, right?”.

Eddies jaw fucking drops. Literally drops. He’s going to spontaneously combust. “Nah, no, nope man” he stutters out. “Okay, gotcha. If anything starts hurting tonight, if you get dizzy, any nose bleeds, give me a call. Or… you know, when you’re feeling better give me a call too”. He hands eddie the piece of paper with a smiley face and the name ‘Steve (the paramedic)’ with 10 scrawled numbers on it, as he stands up, offering eddie a hand up himself.

Eddie doesn’t want to think about the strength steve has that this that easy to lug his 160 pounds of trailer trash ass up. Or how he feels about what looks like the singular inch steve has on him, even in his boots.

#steddie #paramedic steve harrington #paramedic steve #punk steve harrington #punk steve

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ynbabe · 2 years ago

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Lockwood & Co. Incorrect quotes, pt.6

Before Lucy

Y/n: It’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s free: pouring river water in your socks! Anthony: Why would I do that? Y/n: It’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s free!

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

*The Squad is eating dinner* George: Can you pass the salt? Anthony: *throws Y/n across the table*

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

George, after Anthony did something stupid: You should have realised, Anthony, if Y/n didn't kill you, I would have.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n: When will Ted himself...finally show up to the talk? Anthony: The final boss. George: You guys know TEDtalks stands for technology, entertainment, and design talks, right? Y/n: I will not let Ted hide behind these lies any longer!

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Anthony, in love: How do you do that? Y/n, after having done something dumb: I'm fearless. George, having introduced the idiots and now regretting it: When we were kids, I saw you run from bees. You flailed around and tripped over a chair. It was both hysterical and sad. Y/n: I'm mostly fearless.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n: My aesthetic is "would be sentenced to the chair by DEPRAC."

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n: Who hurt you? Anthony, always on the edge of a mental breakdown: *snorting* What, do you want a list? Y/n, pulling out ALOT of iron/silver weapons: ...Yes, actually.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Anthony: Why would you think any of this was a good idea?! Y/n: Probably because I’m a dangerous sociopath with a long line of violence. Anthony: Oh... George, from across the room: *from across the room* I don’t understand how you keep forgetting that.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n: It’s not gonna work, I’m not a snitch. George: Fine, let's try something else. Tag a friend you recently committed a crime with. Y/n: Lmao, @Anthony.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Anthony: I hate you. Y/n: Well, according to this picture I drew of us holding hands, that is untrue.

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Anthony, after a fight with Y/n: The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was changing her name to Y/n.

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Y/n, grave-robbing: I’m going to hell. Anthony, there for a case: Probably. Y/n: I'll pick you up? Anthony: *nodding* Carpool.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Anthony, pissed : Y/n! I thought you were dead! Y/n, back after running away for a year: No, just in deep cover. Anthony, about to lose his mind: ...But it was an open casket. Y/n, little scared now: It was very deep.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n: Hold on, I can explain! Anthony: Really? Can you now? Y/n: I can if you give me a minute to think of a convincing lie.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Since Lucy

George, trying to joke: Hey, Joe said he's coming over this afternoon. Y/n, expecting a ‘delivery’: Cool. George: Do you know who Joe is? Y/n: JOE MAMA! Anthony, not even looking up from his phone: Damn, that backfired.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n, just back home: Do you cook? Lucy: I made a cake once. Anthony: Yeah, it was good. Lucy: Really? Anthony: Don’t make me lie twice, Luce.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n, back from sneaking around for state secrets: Anthony! For the love of god, please turn down that music. I have a hangover. Anthony, pissed at her: *blasting the mii theme at full volume* That sounds like a you problem, not a mii problem.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Anthony: For most of human history, vehicles had automatic collision avoidance and could even take you home if you were asleep or drunk. But then we got rid of the horse. George: You complete moron. You stupid fucking idiot. "Cars would be better if they could bite and shit" – that was you just now, dumbass. George: "Wouldn't it be cool if cars could piss? Wouldn't it be cool if cars could fuck?" Fuck off. Y/n: It would be cool if cars could fuck. Lucy: We... We still have horses.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Anthony, to Y/n, since they’re sharing a room,: I'm leaving for the weekend, so I hid 100 dollars in your side of the room for food. Clean your side and you will find it.

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Lucy: It’s funny how well you and George get along. Didn’t they hate you at first? Y/n: George hates everybody at first. It’s their way of reaching out to people.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n: I just found out from Lucy today that when I ‘died’ and George threw my weapons in the grave, Anthony said, “You should aim one at the coffin to be sure.”

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n: I give up. I am so tired. George: Get the emergency supply! Lucy: *carries Anthony and throws him in front of Y/n* Anthony: *smiles* Y/n: AND I AM BACK BABY, LET’S GOOO

#anthony lockwood #anthony lockwood x reader #lucy carlyle #George Karim #lockwood & co #x reader #lockwood x reader

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cressthebest · 8 months ago

Text

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 11

chapter 20:

1. god, i’m glad to know this bridge plan is stressing sirius out too

2. i love sirius’ pure ANGER at how reg and james’ love story is broadcasted to everyone when sirius knows that they deserve privacy.

3. 😟😧 is peter going to be a

FUCKING RAT

IN THIS FIC???? FUCK HIM FUCK YOU FUCK ALL OF YOU!! I LOVED HIM!! WHY DID HE HAVE TO DO THIS??? NOOOOOO

4. 😡😡 PETER AND DEATHEATERS, WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, ISTG

5. 😧 vanity noooo

6. 😟 hodge would have turned 15 tomorrow. and james just pushed him in the river. fuck, well, that’s something james is gonna think about forever

7. i am NOT gonna get over vanity’s death

8. reg’s knife throwing skills came into use and yikes. i wish it didn’t have to

9. (bad timing, but nonbinary mathias has my heart)

10. oh god. irene asked regulus to give her mercy and kill her. this. wow. this hurts in ways i can’t describe.

11. everyone is fucking dying, and james just got hurt, and reg is trapped on the other side of the river. jfc this chapter is wild

12. reg, you’re having a panic attack. i understand those. listen to me and jsut follow my voice and breathe with me, okay? in and out. 1…. 2…. 3…. 4…. good. breathe please. i wanna help so bad. please i wish i could help reg breathe.

13. god, it’s hurts that in sirius’ pov, he knows that this is the biggest breakdown reg has EVER had

14. sirius, don’t do something stupid

chapter 21:

1. 😧 THIS is how the plan is formed? sirius talking to slughorn about two victors making it out as long as they’re from the same district? wow. i was almost looking forward to the death pact, while also knowing it would be out of reg’s character (and james’) so it would be unsatisfying. i like this a lot, actually

2. dorcas leaving her home in the most ratty-ass pajamas to run four miles 😭😭 she’s still a queen to me

3. marlene’s reaction is heartbreaking, honestly

4. i love how there’s the line about dorcas caring for vanity and hodge. she cares. marlene asked her to, chapters and chapters ago. and dorcas cared. this hurts

5. 😟 regulus is so angry that he plans on avenging james with what i assume is the most torturous murder to others

6. !!!!! is reg about to take that hint from slughorn? does he realize james is alive?

7. HE REALIZES!!! THANK FUCKING GOD!!! THEYRE GONNA REUNITE AND HOPEFULLY HAVE NO TRAUMA FROM THIS HORRENDOUS DAY!

8. remus comparing sirius’ excitement about slughorn’s decision to a dog >>>>>>

9. “They watch with hope.” AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

10. sirius expects people to not listen to him, so he tells remus to just tune him out, but remus loves to hear sirius talk. <33333 they’re made for each other

11. sirius having worn a dress before and enjoying it >>>>>>>

12. “”Really, your body is a galaxy, and your scars are your stars."” (remus making sirius feel better about his scars) OH MY GOD!! this is gonna be my equivalent of atyd’s “you were beautiful”

13. remus’ shirt is off and sirius wants to cry over how gorgeous he is. (when i first had sex, i cried over how pretty my partner was. i do not judge sirius for this reaction)

14. the way remus gets his moony nickname in this fic, with his scars being compared to moon craters >>>>>>>>>

15. despite sirius wanting to have sex with remus, i love his decision to wait so he’s mentally in the right place for it. and i love remus’ treatment of sirius’ relationship to sex. that’s exactly what i, as an aroace spec person, needed to hear

16. i’m so fucking PISSED that the hallow took away sirius’ acceptance of pleasure. remus and i are gonna fucking take down the hallow for that

17. authors notes say that sirius is demisexual, and i am all on board. another demisexual!! me and sirius are twinning! i love this!!

#marauders #regulus black #james potter #fanfic #jegulus #sirius black #remus lupin #vanity #irene #peter pettigrew #dorcas x marlene #dorcas meadowes #marlene mckinnon #dorlene #moony #demisexual sirius black #crimson rivers

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brokenpieces-72 · 3 months ago

Text

No Answer

CoD Gangster AU | Navigation

Note: If you didn't see the poll I messed up and missed this chapter. It was sitting in my drafts, so I'm posting it now. There will be a nightmare comfort to come.

TW: Torture, physical violence (plenty), missing person, let me know if I missed anything.

You wake up to darkness, feeling sore and exhausted. Someone has certainly taken something thick and hard to your body in a highly unpleasant way. You hear voices but they’re muffled. Getting here had been fairly painful, Nolan isn’t gentle by any degree of the imagination. You fought but your exhaustion had gotten the better of you. Nolan didn’t shy away from a gut punch, and you swore you tasted blood. Not much could be recalled, except for an arm around your neck and your air being cut off.

You couldn’t see their faces, but they kept demanding to know where it all was. All you can guess is they mean the files on corrupt cops and criminals. Most of the files were copied ahead of time, and were in your unit. Why didn’t they just take those? You kept denying any knowledge of the files, or even they were files. That’s when things got very nasty. They tore into your sleeves and you struggled. You thought Alejandro was bad, he just yelled and intimidated you. Nolan was gonna make an example. Swipes across your arms made you hiss from pain, as he threatened to go deeper.

You grit your teeth, no. You can’t break. Don’t break you’re so close! You’re gonna clean this up. Hell you were telling the truth! They demanded to know what you had on Makarov. You had nothing, the file was somewhere but you don’t know where it is. You’re telling the truth, fucking stop cutting your arm! It fucking hurts! Not until you give it up. Nolan is relentless.

Don’t break… don’t break…

Nolan digs his fingers into your cuts. You feel your own warm blood being squeezed out, the pain making you want to scream. The only satisfaction you’ll give him is a whimper. For a short while he stops, offering you some time to mull over your decision to comply. You wait until you hear the door close and then wait longer. The cloth bag makes it hard to know if Nolan is still in the room. If he is he’s waiting to see if you’ll breakdown. You can’t give him that, you won’t let him.

You know what they are looking for from you. You’ve already gotten backups, but they don’t know what you’ve entirely been doing. Nolan hasn’t tried to get mental. He hasn’t bothered with mentioning destroyed files. Makarov was his priority. He’s making sure there wasn’t anything on Makarov. Right now, you can’t tip him off about what you are really doing. Protecting your gang. You’d sent an email to Laswell with the information you had found, and asked for help with doctoring the evidence. But there was no guarantee she could help. All you can do right now is endure the pain.

Endure and pray, it will be over. Pray that Laswell can get your gang out.

The door opened again, you hear the flick of a lighter. “Alright, time to get ugly.” You hear.

Laswell did get your email but now she was worried about you. You suddenly went dark, and no one knew where you were. Farah was out, and then suddenly you disappear. She still had to wait 24 hours for you to be officially missing and to get an investigation, in which case there wouldn’t be time. Makarov was stalling you, and she wasn’t about to let you stop. Kate was working while Charly was still searching. Now there was more incentive. Find Nolan, find you, find the key to her friend’s release.

Alex comes to Laswell with Farah and food. If there’s one thing Alex has learned, every one of his friends is a workaholic who neglects food out of stress. Laswell has most of the evidence finished for each file. The two for Alejandro and Rudolfo are done and ready to go. But even with all she has she needs you to turn them in. Graves had proven to be less than ideal. Alex could get in shit for it. Laslwell turns it in she may lose her position on city council. It had to be you. It was your case.

“They still haven’t replied?” Farah asks, sitting at the bar counter in the pub. Alex sat next to her with Laswell looking absolutely exhausted.

“Charly is looking out for them.” Laswell says, but it sounds more like a reminder to herself.

“Nolan got to them. Should’ve stayed the extra night.” Alex says, staring at the counter. Farah pats his back.

“They insisted.” Farah reminds him. “Makarov works quickly. He’s taken them to keep them out of the way.”

“We only have a couple days before he is back. I’m working quickly, but none of us can safely turn them in, it needs to be y/n. It’s their case.” Laswell says rubbing her temples. Alex digs into the bag of food he brought, and handed the order to Laswell.

“Not hungry.” She says, and gets her laptop shut by Farah.

“Don’t care.” Alex says, and Laswell reluctantly takes the wrapped burger. Once she’d unwrapped it, Alex set off.

“Where are you going?” Kate asks, with her mouth full.

“Moonlighting in private investigation.” Alex calls as he leaves the pub. Farah and Kate share a look.

You’re exhausted. Nolan has decided to heat up a blade and your skin. Despite your desperate pleas that you didn’t know anything he kept up with the creativity. As a cop you’ve seen kidnapping cases and you were praying that it only escalated this far. You’re left in the room by yourself and you know you’re alone cause you properly hear Nolan walk away, talking as he left down a hall. You can’t hear anything outside but hear a drip.

Your body aches, and your blood is drying but still sticky. It hurts to breathe, your broken ribs screaming. You wonder if you could even walk with the amount of pain in your legs. It’s a miracle you’ve only been cut and not stabbed. It tells you Nolan needs you alive. Makarov needs you alive.

There is a file that Makarov knows about but you don’t know where it is. So who has it? And who else knows about it? Why not just kill you and the file is buried forever? Nolan has just kept taunting you and demanding where the file was. He even offered to let the guys go if you complied. The offer was tempting but you know how easily those words can be twisted around. They let them go only to release them underwater.

Motherfucker, this information is useless! You’re stuck here until Nolan lets you go or someone else finds Nolan. There’s no guarantees anyone will find him, and you don’t know how many days have passed. You tried to exchange information with Nolan but his answer was a hot knife to your bicep and shoulder. You were still here though, so that means Makarov still has yet to make another move. There’s a chance the gang is still alive, otherwise you’d be released or in the same place as them.

Alex starts at your apartment and tries to figure out where you could’ve gone from there. He retraces every route you could’ve gone, and is getting frustrated. Why couldn’t this be a bit easier? There has to be some lead but your room is filled with files he’s already seen, there’s a number of sidewalks you could’ve taken, and Graves had no leads himself aside from Nolan. Alex was starting to hate that name in general. He sits in your apartment, using a spare key you hid in the stairwell. Alex continues looking around your apartment before circling back to your room, sitting on the neatly made bed.

The files were still open, but there was nothing on Nolan he could find. Makarov was away, Nolan had you, and they were only a couple days away before the 141 could be dropped in the river and Makarov gets everything he could ever want. Alex rubs his face frustrated and lost. No directions except everywhere. Alex is wracking his brain, thinking of a solution to a problem he has no answers to. Then he hears a knock at your door. Before he can answer it he hears it open and takes cover at the door frame, gun drawn. Seriously the number of times people break into your apartment and or have drawn guns is concerning.

The footsteps approach casually and for a moment he wonders if you’ve returned. Then he considers it may be Graves looking for leads himself. Still he holds his position in wait. The steps approach slowly now. Alex takes a deep quiet breath, before leaving his cover. He aimed his gun, hoping for Nolan. Instead he found Charly.

“Cmon this is getting boring now. Tell me what I want to know.” Nolan says, sounding bored and annoyed. He’d taken you out of the chair, but kept your legs and wrists bound. Now he resorted to kicking and stomping… with metal cleats. Your breath was making you want to scream, your throat was dry, you were laid on your side where most of the burns had been applied, and you were just barely able to stay awake.

When you don’t answer him he gets close and grabs your hair, leaving the hood on. “The sooner you talk, the sooner I’ll give you relief! At this point everything is ready, and I won’t need to leave anytime soon.”

“You sure? …you remember to brush your teeth?” You ask, trying not to smile. You get a gut punch that rolls you on your back. Suddenly you feel heavy pressure on your cracked ribs. The pressure is slow but no less painful as you feel them starting to break under the weight. You grit your teeth, trying to hold strong. In a desperate attempt, you squirm, feeling more pain, but able to pull your knees in and double kick Nolan in the stomach. Nolan pulled himself off of you, only to bring a hard fist down on your knee, making you cry out.

“Fuck…” you groan.

“You’re a little shit.” Nolan grunts, spitting. “You want me to get ugly?”

“You were being pretty?” You question, trying to hide the amount of pain in your voice.

You hear a gun cock. Your blood goes cold. You go very still. “Tell me where!”

“I swear to fuck I don’t fucking know!”

“Tell me where Makarov’s file is!” He yells.

“I don’t fucking know!!”

BANG

Taglist: @yourlovely-moon @kaoyamamegami @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @sans-chara @1mommyrose4ever29 @smitten-haematite-quartz @talia-the-gemini @yuki2129 @whitetiger846 @graystorm444 @chibiduck @reaperxxxxzz @danielle143 @sobbingnshtting @cringeycookies @cryingpages @dcnocap207 @reaper-chan666 @bestbookfriends @thriving-n-jiving

#cod au #andrei nolan #kate laswell #alex keller #farah karim #charlotte charly johnstone #cod gangster au #hurt no comfort #gangster au #gn reader #interrogation #missing chapter

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