#they’d have nothing if they didn’t
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on oscar and morris delancey
steven berkoff, the fall of the house of usher / the fall (detail) by alan stephens foster / two friends by malcolm t liepke / wikipedia, “law of holes” / embrace by peter wever / margaret atwood, the blind assassin / how the light gets in / hera lindsay bird, mirror traps / tabitha suzuma, forbidden / sue zhao, where to begin
#oscar delancey#morris delancey#the delancey brothers#web weave#so normal about them! have such normal feelings about the complexities of their relationship#how trauma plays into it intrinsically and how it’s so tangled with obligation and trauma bonding and helplessness and you are all i’ve got#so codependent that they don’t know where the love starts and ends#or maybe the love is all of it#sometimes it feels like it’s none of it#oscar’s an older brother and a father and a mother and a sister and a child#morris is unwanted#they love each other#they’d have nothing if they didn’t
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so many of y’all do not know jack!!!!!!!!!
#edit: this is a general statement but#this is specifically about the scene of him stabbing himself in the bunker#so many of you are Wrong about why and just want to go ‘bad parent dean’ and ‘he was trying to kill himself because dean wasn’t accepting#him’ like WHAT!!!!!!! he just got stabbed and didn’t die?!?! so he stabs himself again and again as confirmation that he is Abnormal. he is#a Threat. he killed a man and hurt his new friend’s mom after he killed his own mom just by being born. he can hurt people and nothing hurts#him. he’s not scared of dean or sad about dean. he has bigger problems. it’s why he kneels down in front of the gun in s14. also they’d#known each other less than a week so i’m tired of people acting like dean was such a huge parallel to john by being abusive. he didn’t even#know jack as a person at that point#and not only that but jack didn’t know himself either. and no not bc he’s ’an infant in an adult body’ or whatever y’all keep saying#but he doesn’t even know what he *is* and he doesn’t understand how he operates. like he is literally having an existential crisis and it’s#all boiled down to dean and ignores jack’s complexity. gah#jack kline#supernatural
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Natural team dynamic progression over stream for Blue team (Soulfire) [Day One of purgatory]:
Split into two main groups—
Farming/base-bound: Tina, Missa, Lenay, Niki
Fighters/Runners: Bad, Tubbo, Pierre
Tubbo is main official leader, and Bad and Tina have been acting as co-leaders per their groups for the most part. Tina had been the biggest support leader and the main person keeping morale up within the group-- Missa, Lenay, and Niki being her main supply runners/farmers that she distributed tasks through. Pierre has become main runner who turns in missions, while Tubbo and Bad run distraction. Majority of plans are thought up by Tina, Bad, Tubbo, and Pierre, and are run through Tubbo before execution.
They’ve maintained lead the entire stream for the most part.
#qsmp#this is mostly my personal tracking so I can keep note of character dynamics#I find it really interesting how natural leadership progresses#and Tina has been MVP in keeping them all tied together#she checks in continuously esp on the quiet members like niki missa and lenay#she is the backbone of their opporations handling all farming management and tasks#without her they’d have nothing to turn in#I’m so proud of her lol I didn’t know Tina before qsmp but I would die for her#this is not without noting other members moments like missa getting apples and lenay getting dirt#niki has been fueling them too#bad and Tubbo have been PVP heavy to protect Pierre and do their best to keep close ranks#Tubbo in particular killed a lot of people. probably the most out of all the team#and bad tends to play tubbos close backup#Pierre also had a moment where he snuck in and turned in a BUNCH of missions unprotected#everyone’s done a good job!! they are a very cohesive team#esp with a lot of players not usually present on the server
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I am far too obsessed w crop tops. It’s actually reaching a cataclysmic point but I can’t stop wearing cropped everything help me
#In my defense a lot of effort goes into staying fit/toned and I literally just look good w cropped tops idk#But this winter I suffered bc I didn’t have anything that wasn’t cropped like a normal person except for sweaters#I’d literally wear cropped tops and sometimes they’d cover my midriff but most of the time they#Did not#Thank god spring is coming soon but I was looking thru my closet earlier like Ok I have NOTHING in here that isn’t cropped. What now .#Im trying to be okay w not wearing cropped things more idk#Also it’s NOT for other people I just like wearing crop tops bc they make me feel good and it’s just kind of my default outfit#But im trying to branch out more bc im starting to see how extreme it’s getting#like I want one normal tee shirt that isn’t cropped. I think that would do me some good
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love when this is referred to as the gifted kid website. shockingly my mental disorders made me mentally disordered and school never really vibed with that so. couldn’t be me
#ppl always talking about their whatever grade reading level and how many books they’d read as kids and im just over here like🧍🏽#I’ve never been actually bad at english or reading but I couldn’t focus on reading books to save my fucking life#I hated those sheets where you had to read like a certain number of books or whatever over the course of a semester or the year or whatever#my GATE test scores for english were super high but my math was bad enough that I never qualified#and adhd made me not even perform well in English half the time because I couldn’t pay attention I couldn’t read long books I couldn’t turn#in my assignments or if I did they were late and etc etc etc#don’t get me started with math#I was the worst in my class in third grade at minute math and never made it to the levels of minute math my classmates did#(they posted results on the wall for everyone to see)#and in 6th grade I was put into an additional remedial math class#throughout middle-high school I was at the level of most classmates in terms of the classes I took but that’s only because I was not allowe#to fail and was put through absolute fucking hell with a billion tutors and grueling hours of extra work from them and blah blah blah#like I remember how I felt in those tutoring sessions and half the time I actually wanted to cry.#I didn’t start doing solidly genuinely Good in school until senior year of high school.#not coincidentally around the same time I started taking adderall I think#I had accommodations by 9th grade but they didn’t do that much except for the function that let me turn in assignments up to 2 days late#without penalty. which i had teachers question sometimes and i had to pull the Yeah it’s Literally Against The Law to not allow me this car#anyway. point is. i was never in the gate program and most of my friends were and it was mostly adhd related#adhd is considered such a quirky nothing disorder nowadays that I don’t even like mentioning I have it really. because what people think of#when I say the term is Not what i actually dealt with and made school torturous and made my parents lash out at me for things and etc etc#depression and dysphoria did not help either. but I digress#I’m not sure why im making this post#kibumblabs
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An AU where Ron leaves the shadow world (work) and, while Reagan’s now fully promoted, is her stay at home housewife who just comes up behind her while she’s at her desk and rubs her shoulders and kisses her, and she actually smiles and kisses back, and promises that she’ll try to finish work early for him.
#i know their relationship would have been strained mostly from her if they’d stayed together with her promotion and all that as we in ep8#but can’t we just pretend#that it works#the ending didn’t really break me but I still want to make solutions in my head you know#inside job season 2#inside job#inside job ron#inside job au#inside job reagan#reagan ridley#ron staedtler#alternate universe idea#nothing angsty to unpack there whatsoever don’t worry#edit: as we *see* in ep8#edit 2: might write this if this post reaches 200 notes lol I’m so greedy no one will see this tag but this is a threat I totally will#edit 3: damn I really need to fucking write this
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Me vs the urge to do something unhinged (put Sada 1998 on the Armand movie list)
#look… listen….#I just think. they’d get each other.#and not to be like ‘Sada Abe did nothing wrong’ bc obviously. murder.#but she’s such a fascinating figure. I have so much sympathy for her.#she just didn’t want to be abandoned again. she makes that so clear.#I think about her all the time honestly. so no wonder I went crazy over Armand#also the film is just gorgeous#armand#iwtv tv
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Was Anyone But You a good Much Ado About Nothing adaptation? No, not at all, but fuck it was fun!
#y’all know I have many thoughts about this play and these characters#but even though the movie didn’t completely live up to my expectations as an adaptation#I still really enjoyed it!#and I really despise all those people making posts about how sydney sweeney can’t act#idk it seems a little rude#my main problem is how they messed up the benedick and beatrice characterization and dynamic#I love that they played up the ex lovers thing (which is left up to interpretation in the play)#and i love love queer Hero and Claudio!!!#but their hatred of each other didn’t really pack the same punch as in the original#I suppose I wish they weren’t afraid to make the characters bigger assholes?#ya know- give them more flaws?#because right now the enemies part doesn’t really feel believable for big parts of the movie#They really could have leaned more into making Bea a bit of a cold and snappy mess (as she is in the original)#and Ben more of…ya know…actual human disaster who can’t commit#both of their characters in the play are driven by their desire never to marry and their distrust for the opposite sex#They included this a bit with Bea (her not believing in true love and all that)#but her break up with Jonathan (because he was too nice???) didn’t really convince me of it#They also keep insisting that Ben is a fuckboy but we never really see it demonstrated?#I personally don’t mind the fact that they changed up the whole ‘convincing them that the other secretly loves them’ bit#especially considering this is only loosely based on much ado#but I do think they made it a bit messy considering they included the gulling scenes but only as a joke#I wish they’d either leaned fully into the much ado plot or ditched it#I think what a lot of adaptations get wrong is that they’re either too afraid of leaning into their og media#or too afraid of seperating themselves from the og media#oh god I’ve reached the tag limit help#anyways- rant over#anyone but you#maria talks about things#much ado about nothing#beatrice x benedick
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Can I have a hug
#side effect of slowly getting better is I now have to work out how to have a life after when it feels like I ruined everything#I know I didn’t and my illness would’ve done this eventually but it feels like it cause my degree is worthless now#can’t do any of the jobs that I was going to do anymore#can’t do most entry jobs#can’t do retail or food service or most peoples first jobs#don’t really have irl friends anymore#I’m just. ugh.#my parents said they’d pay for me to go to college again so I can get a degree that works for remote jobs with higher pay than my original#field. which isn’t hard bc that pay was gonna be 20k a year for like six years lmao#and I did stumble across some resources for which doctors can treat my illnesses in Europe so I could try to use it as a way to finally#fucking leave this country but idek how I’d go about getting accepted to a university anywhere if I already have a degree that just doesn’t#work for me anymore#and I’m sad that I can’t do the career I poured my soul into for so long#and I miss my friends and feeling confident#I’m glad I’m getting healthier enough to think about after but I’m terrified and exhausted just thinking about working out how to find what#comes next and what’s possible#and I’m just really really sad#and I’m scared of getting too hopeful about anything#I really miss Austria and people have said I’d really like Germany and I’d love to move but I’m scared I’ll research and find nothing
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Remember when they had demon Medivh stand like practically pressed up against Khadgar’s back saying shit like “embrace your desires” that sure was something.
#wow blogging#harbingers my beloved you will always be famous#the vision of Dalaran falling as demon Medivh says all hes ever worked for would be for nothing UGH#I just know the writers for TWW think they are so clever for doing that now#but the thing is it doesn’t hit the same when Khadgar isn’t there to suffer and blame himself#to despair#this would be a great opportunity to bring back lowkey unhinged Khadgar from WoD#(high key lbr)#the khadgar that Cordana had to yell at to get him to stop torturing Garona#because he’s so single mindedly focused on getting Gul’dan#Mr unsettling gleam in his blue eyes#I WANT it#khadgar who will stop at /nothing/#him hunting down Xal’atath with that same fervor#because everything he’s worked for…all he’s suffered…#and maybe someone has to pull him back from the edge#(Medivh. it should be Medivh)#I’m sorry this is already far more interesting than Alleria’s motivation for hunting down Xal’atath#(like that would be so satisfying. let medivh save him from himself. full circle and all that )#In this scenario#it’s extremely important he not give into corruption in the end though#and not just because Blizz would make us kill Jim#if they didn’t do that they’d probably have him sacrifice himself as redemption or some shit#which would also be equally unsatisfying to me#because Khadgar has suffered so much he deserves a soft epilogue or whatever that quote is#let him and Medivh just..be
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stuck at home this new years because someone who knew they were sick but didn’t tell me exposed me to covid a few days ago (still angry about that). was gonna go see and hang out with my cool trans friends but even though I don’t seem to be sick I don’t want to risk infecting them (some of them have immune conditions). at least I’ll have some other friends to video call with online but bleurgh I hope I don’t get sick
kinda bummed about this bc I’ve realized that new years is one of my favourite holidays (I love counting down to a thing) but ah well I’ve had worse ones I guess so I shall endure
edit: on the plus side just realized the charity stream is 10 am pst, not pm, so I can watch that today at least, nice
#it’s one thing to be sick due to risks I take myself but I’m super pissed that someone else’s lack of caution is affecting me#like for fuck’s sake I trusted them to have good judgement and call things off if they were sick but they didn’t#they didn’t tell me they were feeling ill until several hours. so tired of my family being like this ugh#they casually mentioned that they’d had no sense of smell for a day and immediately I realized I was fucked#did the past 3 years teach them nothing. for fuck’s sake#anyway stay safe folks I’m gonna be praying that I didn’t catch it#inverse problem.txt
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sometimes I worry about how some of y’all react to any kind of technology. every site has an algorithm that’s how programming works. AI is a blanket term for a certain type of code, it’s not automatically evil. electric cars being made consumer available is a good thing even if the ceo of the first company to do so is a bit of a dick.
#this has been a post#I have other gripes with the way teslas are constructed but some of y’all act like the fact that there are electric cars#that are a little more expensive than gas cars#is some sort of evil in and of itself#and not. idk. a step in the right direction? any new technology is gonna be expensive before it’s accessible#and if nothing else Tesla proved that there’s a market for electric cars paving the way for other companies to put theirs on the market#General Motors (I think?) had the technology for electric cars as early as the nineties and didn’t put them out because they didn’t think#they’d sell#(source: my grandpa’s name is on the patent. he’s the guy who figured out how to make them run and not rely on a gas starter)
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2024 reads / storygraph
The Endless Sea Between Us
sapphic fantasy romance between a witch who lives in a sea cave after her family died and was cast out from her village, and an banished mermaid who’s curious about humanity
they create a magical rune to swap species, both desiring the freedom each other’s homes promise
but when they start to grow closer the mer-turned-human is kidnapped by a witch-hunting prince and taken to his castle, and the witch must chase them down to save her
f/f, demi MC
#The Endless Sea Between Us#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#sapphic books#this is….I mean it’s fine.#I like the way it remixed elements of the little mermaid. The characters are interesting.#I liked the way they just kinda immediately into swapping species and enjoyed their new forms no big deal.#I found the writing a bit boring/simple - and like. lacking atmosphere and worldbuilding.#Like when the two meet their dialogue immediately took me out of it - it was like two people meeting on the street#not two people from entirely different species. I feel like it skips over what could have been some interesting cultural differences#their first interaction is the human being grossed out by seeing a mermaid eating raw fish?#like she’s specifically grossed out by the ‘eating raw fish’ part of it? what did you think they’d eat? also you live in a fantasy seaside#there’s no way you wouldn’t be acquainted with the grossness of fish even if you don’t eat it raw????#I kinda wish it had drawn out just the two of them rather than bringing the prince storyline into it.#He was such a silly villain who I couldn’t really take seriously - and I didn’t understand why she didn’t just run away or attack him?#He didn’t feel like an actual threat.#I read this bc one of the characters is demi-aroace and it was fine I guess if only very briefly referenced. I feel like they got together#though I did appreciate the ‘I’ve never before#but I feel like I could love her one day” when they got together rather than her immediately flipping from nothing to In Love#There was a bit where a side character said to her something along the lines of: ‘oh you CAN love; i just wasn't the right person;#there’s nothing wrong with you after all’. which. I don’t love that actually. kinda uhhhh arophobic
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it’s just so frustrating that even if things do get better someday and i’m able to manage my mental illnesses i still lost over a decade of my life to fighting with them and i will never be able to get those years back
#i feel like i’m just always going to be behind in life and always trying to catch up#and no matter what i do ill never be where i feel like i could have been#if i didn’t have to deal with the things i have to deal with#especially compared to other people who didn’t have to struggle with these things#i just feel so frustrated. people complain to me like ‘oh i only did a million things with my weekend instead of a BILLION things :/‘#what am i supposed to say when i can’t even get out of bed half the time#it just doesn’t feel fair#and like. i know in the grand scheme of things im still very young#but i feel so helpless when everyone around me who’s my age#are homeowners with careers and partners they love of several years#and talking to people older than me who tell me about all the things they’d done by my age#and i’ve done quite literally nothing with my life so far#i feel so lost. i feel like im all wrong in every way#snow.txt
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the problem is that the world has all these little social rules about that you’re supposed to do and I have no idea what any of them are
oh and people get mad at you for not magically knowing all of them somehow
#Rules like: is it bad to block someone because their art reminds me of a bully I had#even though they’re a really cool person and lots of people like them?#Do you break the mutual when you soft block or will that ruin the entire friend group?#When you make a new sideblog so none of your moots and followers have to see posts about a show they#hate is it appropriate or reasonable to be upset that they won’t extend to you the same courtesy?#How do you tell someone you want to end a friendship? How do you explain that the post you agree with#is also giving you paranoia because OP said they’d come hunt you if you didn’t do xyz thing?#Is it ok to stop being friends with someone because you’ve stopped sharing an interest and having nothing else in common?#What are the rules why doesn’t anyone tell them to me why is it like this??
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donated to my best friend’s ex’s gofundme today. did i do it solely so i could feel good about myself? yes. will it also help the ex? yes.
#ex has been nothing but a dick to my friend to the point where we had to file a harassment case#so in my head their financial situatuon is karma for how shitty they’ve been#but i know in my heart no one deserves what they’re going through#like to be clear i would have donated without hesitation if i didn’t know how badly they’d hurt my friend#but. yk
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