#ex has been nothing but a dick to my friend to the point where we had to file a harassment case

[elvensorceress]

idk I get incredibly angry at homophobes being cast on my gay shows. anybody want the start of my fic where Eddie dumps her bigoted ass and then has a gay ole sexy time with his husband and his husband's new boyfriend? because here. you can have. it's cathartic 💕

test drive - 2K, BuckTommy, BuckEddieTommy, Buddie endgame forever / Explicit

The restaurant is dimly lit in a way that might be classy and romantic, but Tommy’s hand is also on Buck’s thigh. And he’s having a lot of very not-classy, not even very romantic sorts of thoughts. Everything is far more along the lines of, he could put his hand on my dick, and I know what his cock feels like down my throat, and why are we here in a public place when we could be back at my loft taking turns fucking each other until we’re both a mess of cum and lube and sweat and sexy bruises and love bites? Because all of that is way more appealing than what they are sitting here, waiting to do. 

If it were just one of their dates, it’d be great. Those are fantastic. Tommy likes to pick him up and take him to nice places and he smiles in a really, really soft cute way that also has an air of, I am going to fuck you until you scream and you will love every second. And holy fucking god, does Buck love every second. 

Bisexuality, man. Who knew? 

It’s so fantastic. It’s so different? Or maybe it’s just that Tommy is different because he’s ridiculously cool and hot and Buck always really liked when someone knew what they wanted and would take the lead and he could do everything in his power to please them and make them feel good. Confidence is infinitely sexy and competence even more so. And Tommy has all of that in spades. 

And Buck loves men. Buck really loves men. It makes so much sense and how had he never even considered? Maybe he considered but he sure as hell never realized wanting a man and being attracted to a man was something that fit so well. Fuck, it fits so well. 

Maybe he could even end up with a man someday? Maybe he could marry a man and have a relationship that is like this all the time for the rest of his life? Not that he doesn’t like women still. Women are great. People who don’t identify as either or they identify as both or however they choose— they’re great, too. 

Everyone is hot and Evan Buckley is very bisexual, and it just might be one of the greatest revelations he’s ever had. 

He’s just really, really enjoying being with a man right now. 

He is not, however, enjoying the thought of this dinner. Everything about this dinner makes his stomach a washing machine of anxiety. For no reason. He doesn’t know why. There’s nothing wrong with it. 

Why wouldn’t he and his boyfriend go on a double date with his best friend who is their mutual friend, and his best friend’s girlfriend. What is wrong with that? It’s fine. Should be— fun? 

Shouldn’t be a bad taste in his mouth that the wine still hasn’t gotten rid of and roiling in his stomach that is really killing his appetite. But it very much is. 

Tommy squeezes Buck’s thigh and rubs it in a way that surely is supposed to be comforting. But it makes Buck want to drag him out of this restaurant and back to the loft where he can show Tommy how good he is at fucking him now. Not just because it would be a thousand times better than the prospect of this dinner. The bar is so low on the ground, it’s buried at this point. But also because sex with his new boyfriend is better than— actually, Buck is having a hard time thinking of anything that is better right now. 

Very hard time. 

They’ve been practicing. Everything. Blowjobs, fucking, fingering, ball massages, prostate milking, rimming— all sorts of really fun things Buck never even imagined could feel so good. Not that he was oblivious to a lot of it. He has toys. His ex was into pegging. Buck might have been unaware of how intense and gay— well, bi. He’s bi now. Buck is bi now. Probably always was but he knows it now. He’s bisexual.�� his attraction to men could be. But he was not unaware of sexual acts that feel good to his body. 

But it’s totally different with a real man and a real cock and being manhandled by someone who might actually be bigger and stronger than you is really fucking hot. 

He checks his watch again and it’s already 7:28. They’re almost half an hour late. Which is so not like Eddie. He’s not sure if Marisol is like that but he knows for sure Eddie is either fifteen minutes early for everything or he texts if there is a problem. Even then, he’s only ever a few minutes late. If that. And last Buck checked, there were no new messages on his phone. 

He checks again, and still nothing. Not even to Buck’s message of, hey u ok? u on the way? He frowns and sets his phone back on the table and turns to Tommy. “How long before I’m allowed to be really worried?”

Tommy gives him an amused smile. “You can be worried.”

“How long before we need to bother Athena? Ten more minutes? Five? Sh-should I bother Athena now?”

Tommy’s eyebrows scrunch and he looks at Buck like he’s crazy. Okay, it’s probably crazy. Just. He’s worried? That must be the churning in his stomach. “I’m sure Eddie’s fine. It hasn’t been that long. And he’s Eddie.”

Yeah. Yeah, he’s Eddie. But Eddie was also shot downtown in the middle of broad daylight and nearly bled out all over, and there’s not much anyone can do even if they are trained in hand to hand combat and self-defense and those kinds of things. Not many ways to defend against a sniper round that shouldn’t even be a thing. 

Not that Buck is thinking about that. Ever. 

He’s just turning into a washing machine over this dinner. That’s all. 

Five minutes later, some of it finally eases when Eddie finally shows up and sits down across from them. Alone. 

Alone?

“Sorry, guys,” Eddie runs a hand through his hair and breathes like he’s run a hundred miles. He’s hardly been looking distressed at all lately. He’s been glowing smiles and pretty laughs. Not pretty. Nice? Good? Good that he’s so much happier and at peace. 

But he’s not that now. 

“I would’ve—” Eddie checks his own watch, one that was a Christmas present that Buck had engraved with, all the time you need, and must realize how late he actually is. “Fuck. Sorry. Really sorry. I’ll buy? Unless you’ve already eaten and paid and are about to leave.” 

Tommy shakes his head and has that nice smile that’s so reassuring. “We haven’t. Don’t worry about it.”

“We were waiting,” Buck adds and itches to ask him what’s wrong, why he’s late, why he looks— like he isn’t okay. 

“Great.” Eddie nods tersely and it sounds anything but great. “They got anything stronger than wine and cocktails here? Because—” He doesn’t say. But he does make a face the conveys everything. 

“Doubt it,” Tommy says. “But we can get something somewhere else. Is Mar— Mari?”

“Marisol,” Buck supplies. Not that it matters. Not that he cares. Is he supposed to care? There’s nothing wrong with her. She’s fine. 

“Right,” Tommy says, which should say everything. Eddie’s been hanging out with Tommy for months, Buck’s been with Tommy for months, and Tommy is pretty damn good at remembering people’s names. “Marisol. Is she still on the way?”

Eddie’s jaw gets very tight. “No. We’re done.” 

Tommy looks at Buck and Buck looks at Tommy. They’re done? They broke up? Not that it’s particularly surprising. Part of the curse of dating someone you met on a call. Gotta be. Also the whole thing where Eddie has some kind of commitment issues or something because as soon as he gets a girlfriend, he has to spend all his time doing anything besides being with said girlfriend.

“So, drinking?” Tommy says. 

Buck pushes his wine glass across the table. They usually share when they eat together. Drinks, food, anything. And he’s happy to offer it to the cause. 

“Yes, drinking.” Eddie takes Buck’s wine and downs all of it. 

Eddie’s single again. Marisol isn’t coming to dinner and she’s not part of their lives any longer. Not that Buck has a problem with her. She’s fine. She was nothing really. That wasn’t going to last. Eddie likes the idea of being with someone. So he says. He’s allergic to actually having a relationship for some reason. 

The washing machine in Buck’s stomach disappears though. Which is so much better. Now, it’s just Buck hanging out with his best friend and his boyfriend. 

Maybe there’s a little washing machine. It’s nothing though. 

They order food and drinks, and Eddie only goes through a couple shots and three glasses of wine and one beer. But he eats and also drinks water and doesn’t seem inebriated at all. So, they focus on the meal and Tommy’s latest work stories of helicopter rescues. 

It’s not until after Buck discreetly hands their waiter his credit card before they’re actually brought the bill, that Eddie actually starts talking.

“I kind of fucked up. Didn’t mean to. I owe you an apology,” he says and looks at Buck with worlds of regret and sorrow. 

Whatever it is, Buck forgives him. He’s sure he’s done far worse than whatever it is. “Why? What, uh, what happened?”

Eddie doesn’t look at him. Or Tommy. He does shake his head but not like he’s saying no. More like he’s disgusted. “I let it slip that you two are— that you’re. Dating. Together. Boyfriends? Do you call each other that? Are you boyf— never mind, I let it slip. I’m sorry. That was my bad. Not my secret to tell.”

Tommy looks scrunched and confused again and Buck— he doesn’t understand what the problem is? No, he hasn’t told many people yet. But it’s not a secret that he and Tommy are together. 

“Eds,” Buck says and immediately thinks he probably shouldn’t have called him that. He doesn’t know why. But he shouldn’t. “It’s fine. I’m not— It’s not a secret. I’m not hiding. Or— or in the closet? I’m out. Now. I’m bi and—” And he’s really happy about that. He really loves it. He’s bisexual. He loves women and men and whoever regardless of gender. And holy shit, does he love men right now. He really, really loves being with a man. He looks to his side and grins brightly at Tommy. “And I’m not ashamed or embarrassed that Tommy and I are together.”

There’s a cute half smile that curves the side of Tommy’s mouth and Buck so wants to kiss him. And do all sorts of other things with him. 

“Well. Good.” Eddie taps his finger on an empty shot glass like he’s contemplating ordering another. “Still. Didn’t go well. Didn’t mean to out you like that.”

“Didn’t go well?” Tommy asks. “Saying that Evan and I are dating didn’t go well?”

Eddie purses his lips and does a slow, exaggerated shake of his head. “Nope. But at least I learned that now. Has the waiter brought our check yet? Because I’m just going to drink more if I don’t head out soon. Not that I’m sad about her or anything. I’m pissed. You think you know someone, and no. No, she’s a raging homophobe.”

She— oh. Oh, that’s what happened. “She broke up with you because we’re gay? Bi and gay? Or— you know what I mean.” Is Tommy gay? Or bi? Or something else? Buck hasn’t actually asked what label he uses. How he qualifies his sexuality. He felt weird asking. It’s so personal. Is he supposed to ask? All he knows is that Tommy was into him. Tommy kissed him and it was breathtaking, incredible, magnificent and changed Buck’s whole life. He didn’t really think anything beyond that. Couldn’t really think beyond that. 

Eddie definitively points at himself and then at phantom nothingness. “I dumped her. Because I said this was a double date with you guys and she said, well not really, and I said, no really. It’s a double date. Her and me and both of you. Double date. Except not her. Ever. Anymore. Because she had to go off about how it was wrong and made her uncomfortable and I ‘let both of you be alone with Christopher?’ And it couldn’t possibly be a date like me and her would go on a date because she’s a woman and I’m a man and that was normal. But you two are both men. Both muscular, powerful, masculine, manly firemen type men— so it could never be the same especially because neither one of you are flamey or girly or whatever, so it could never work, the two of you since neither one of you is ‘The Girl.’ Which is all bullshit. By the way. Obviously. And,” he finally stops and breathes, and there’s a hard swallow in his throat and his eyes are distant and his whole body is strung tight and if he could breathe fire? He probably would. Holy shit, he’s pissed off. Buck isn’t even sure he’s ever seen Eddie this angry at anyone who hasn’t hurt someone he loves. 

Although. Technically she did? Not hurt per se, Buck doesn’t give a shit about what she thinks of him. But she was insulting them. So. Yeah, okay, of course fiercely protective Eddie would be angry. 

“And anyway,” Eddie says, still never quite looking at Buck or even at Tommy. Never quite focusing on them. “That’s how I’m single and back on the market again.” He smiles a wide, bitter, snarky kind of smile, and steals the half-full beer glass in front of Buck and downs it in one gulp. 

(Read on AO3)

[fairlyang]

El perdedor 🕷️

finding your ex at the club

w/c: 2.7K

pairing: ex!miguel x latina!reader

tags: rebound, dancing, a lil gay if you squint, shaking ass, jealousy, delulu ex, slowly folding

notes: i posted this shit back in june and when I was reposting everything I really didn’t wanna repost this one but I think there’s more latinas here entonces para ustedes mis amores <3 (only thing I changed from this was the pov bc it was so bad LMAO but it was my 4th fic of mig)

You roll your eyes at your new fling's friend after making a nasty joke of a girl who just walked past you. He takes notice and tells you to stop being so uptight. "Then stop being such a dick." You say and he snorts.

You roll your eyes and look away from him. Having to deal with this bullshit just for some mediocre dick with alright dirty talk? Probably one of my worst decisions to date.

Next to breaking up with Miguel.... But your ego will never let you admit that you miss him and his won't either, clearly since it's been two months. But you couldn't wait around to find out so you’ve been fooling around a bit. Nothing serious since you’re not in the right headspace for that and Daniel knows that. Just here for the drinks, alright sex, and decent conversations.

You’re in line to get into a club but as it's almost midnight it's the hot hour of everyone wanting to get wasted. "Why can't we go to another club? This line is so fucking long-" a girl from fling's friend group asks.

"This is the only one with incredible strippe-"

You groan and shake your head. "Don't you have a girlfriend?"

"It's none of your business actua-"

"You two didn't break up though, Y/n kinda has a point....." Daniel speaks up and he pretends to cry.

"Whah whah- so what? She thinks she can still be friends with her ex while being with me? Then I'll just have my own fun." He says with a smirk and you have the most disgusted look on your face ever.

The other girl does as well and just shakes her head. The lines finally starts moving and at a fast pace actually until it stops with the people in front of you showing the bouncers their ids. You get your out from your bra making the annoying asshole smirk. "Fuck off."

He holds up his hands in defense and Daniel moves to stand next to you. "Soon as we're in there he's gonna be out of our hands alright?" He whispers and you just nod.

The people in front of you finally show them and you step forward. You give it to the bouncer to the left and he looks at it and feels it for a few seconds before handing it back and nods. You move forward, putting it in your phone case, and wait for Daniel to get his checked and you step into the first set of doors. You both wait for the other two and you can instantly smell all the sweat and alcohol. Amazing.

They both finally join you and walk ahead of you, not caring you guys waited. You give Daniel a look and he shrugs. Asshole goes straight to where there are indeed strippers and home girl was nowhere to be seen. That was fast.

"So drinks?" Daniel asks and you nod following him to the main bar.

You walk through people just standing around by booths and table and other who are just making out. You make it to the bar and Daniel says something you can't hear because of the loud techno with pop music. The bartender takes out two shot glasses and fills them to the very top. Daniel picks them both up and gives you yours.

You raise it up and bring it to your mouth and swallow it fast. You gag a little and he laughs. "You fine with just one?"

"For now yeah I think." You say and put the glass back on the counter nodding to the bartender.

You turn back around and watch as Daniel is looking over at a booth almost near the entrance. How can he even see that far.....

You squint but know you have fucked up eye sight so you just stop. "Oh shit- wait here I think I just recognized someone-" he says and starts walking away.

You blink and call out after him, "you're leaving me like that??"

"I'll make it up to you." He turns to look at you then walks away making you roll your eyes. The audacity.

You let out a sigh and shake your head. Dickhead. You turn back to the bar and take a seat. "Another shot please and can you put it on my friend's tab?" You ask with a slight smirk.

He laughs and nods taking out a clean shot glass and once again filling it to the brim. You smile and grab it, then swallow it faster than the first. You don't gag too bad this time and put the glass down. Then your head snaps to the speakers within hearing one singular second of Gasolina by daddy yankee.

You make your way to the dance floor and move in towards the middle where there's a group of girls just dancing with each other. You smile and just dance next to them when one of them grabs your hand and dances with you. You laugh and move your hips to the beat while singing the lyrics with the other girls. All the girls are dancing with each other and taking turns with each other.

You ended up swapping places with another girl and she had the brightest smile while shaking her ass a bit on you. Which was fine because who doesn't like dancing and shaking ass with the girlies to this song?

Zúmbale mambo pa' que mi gata prenda lo' motore'

Zúmbale mambo pa' que mi gata prenda lo' motore'

Zúmbale mambo pa' que mi gata prenda lo' motore'

Que se preparen que lo que viene es pa' que le den (duro)

The first girl you were with found you again and stands in front of you and grinds against you to the beat. You held her hips and she grabs your other hand to hold it. So cute.

You switch off with her, dancing on her then shaking a bit of ass on her, and she hypes you up, screaming and smacking it playfully. You turn around and start laughing which makes her do so as well. "Girl give me your number immediately!!" She screams and you nod as she passes me her phone.

"I love making new girlfriends cuando sale gasolina. Todas las hermosas salen y se tan divertido!" She screams and you nod. (I love making new girlfriends when gasolina plays. All the gorgeous girls come out and it's so much fun!)

"Rally up all the baddies with just one song." You scream back and she laughs.

"I'm Y/n by the way!"

"I'm Rosa! I gotta go but we should do this again!! You're an incredible dancing partner!" She exclaims and you grin.

"Anytime!!" You say and wave goodbye as she leaves.

You dance to the beat of the chorus of Perra by tokischa with the leftover girlies as you all scream the lyrics and one girl even got on all floors and crawled her way to her friend. You all screamed and you just burst out laughing until your stomach starts hurting and you have to stop to breathe.

Then you hear El Perdedor by Maluma start playing and you get excited because you love singing it.

Baby (¿Pa' qué me estás llamando?)

"Pa que me estás llamando???" You scream with the two other girls that were left from the little circle.

Dime si es verdad que él te trae loca

(Y ¿ahora es que te importa?) ¿Ah si?

You sing the lyrics but notice the girls already left so there's no more circle or a triangle and now you’re just surrounded by couples. Unfortunate.

Aún no lo creo, que en tan poco tiempo y ya besas otra boca

(De mala) ¿Qué?

You listen to the lyrics and widen your eyes. Seems a little too close to home....

Dime cuál fue mi error

Si mi único delito solo fue amarte

Hoy soy el perdedor (Bebé, no)

Él me ha robado el truco para enamorarte

You feel a pit in your stomach suddenly unsure of what it is until you feel a person's presence standing behind you. Their hands grabs your hips bringing you closer to them and you widen your eyes.

Y dime que me amas, aunque sea mentira

No puedo negarte, los celos me están matando

They move your hair from the left side of your face and sing the lyrics to you. oh shit-

Y dile en su cara que aún por mí suspiras

Me parte el alma no volver a verte

"Al fin me toca verte...." He whispers directly in your ear leaving shivers down your spine and arms. (Finally I get to see you)

Y dime que me amas, aunque sea mentira

Sabes que no hay nadie como yo

Y dile en su cara que aún por mí suspiras

No te engañes, no me olvidarás

"I know for you it isn't a lie... and have you told your new man you haven't forgotten about me?" He whispers as those lines play, leaving the lightest kisses below your ear. You pull away slightly pushing him off and turn to look at him.

Está claro que tú mereces alguien mejor

"And you're gonna tell me I deserve better than you?" You ask with a scoff staring right at Miguel O'hara's eyes making him smirk.

No sé en qué fallé, pero no hay otro como yo

Oye ma', dame otra oportunidad

Bien sabes no soy así, solo tú me haces rogar

Mirándome al espejo y peleando con mi ego

Si entre más me alejo, más te pienso

"There's no better than me sweetheart. But you really are the only one I'll ever beg for..." he says his hands slipping to your waist and bringing you as close to him as as possible.

"And I have been fighting my ego trying not to contact you...." he says and you can't believe he's just repeating the lyrics for you and them making complete sense to your situation.

Dime cuál fue mi error

Si mi único delito solo fue amarte

Hoy soy el perdedor

Él me ha robado el truco para enamorarte

He whispers the lyrics softly to you then gets kind of annoyed at the last line making you snort.

Y dime que me amas, aunque sea mentira

No puedo negarte, los celos me están matando

Y dile en su cara que aún por mí suspiras

Me parte el alma no volver a verte

"You have no fucking idea how badly the jealousy has been eating me alive..." he growls and you bite your lip.

"So did you tell him about me?" He asks with a smirk on his face.

Y dime que me amas, aunque sea mentira

Sabes que no hay nadie como yo

Y dile en su cara que aún por mí suspiras

No te engañes, no me olvidarás

"Don't be st-stupid-" you say, not even able to keep a straight face or manage to keep the eye contact.

He scoffs and lifts your chin with two fingers to look up at him. Jesus.

Y si te da la gana de volver a verme

Estaré disponible para contestarte

Y yo sé que, por tu parte, no sientes rencores

Quizás mañana vuelvas pa' que te enamore (More')

"I'm actually not sure if you regret it.. but I know deep down you do." He says and you bite your tongue.

"Y envés de mañana," he whispers and moves his face to leave wet kisses on your neck, "tal ves quieres que te enamores de mi otra ves, ahorita mismo." (And instead of tomorrow, maybe you want to fall in love with me again, right now.)

Cuando tomábamos, lo hacíamos

Fumábamos, y reíamos

Éramos dos locos sin saber pa' dónde íbamos

Pero son cosas del destino

Al pasar el tiempo, tú cogiste tu camino

"E-estas loco- no ha- no hables tonterías." You say as your breathing is suddenly all over the place. (Y-you're crazy- don't ta- don't talk nonsense)

He comes up and nibbles on your ear, his hands dangerously near your ass while yours are on his chest. 

Está claro que tú mereces alguien mejor

No sé en qué fallé, pero no hay otro como yo

Dime cuál fue mi error

Si mi único delito solo fue amarte

"Pues porque te pones tan nerviosa?" He whispers and you sigh. (Then why are you getting so nervous)

You feel like you can't even move but you’re not going to admit shit- you can't break that fucking easily.

Hoy soy el perdedor

Él me ha robado el truco para enamorarte

"Porque creo... que yo voy a ser el ganador. Ahora dime en donde está tu otro galán?" He pulls away and looks deep into your eyes. Fuck. (Because I think... that I'm going to be the winner. Now tell me where's your other hunk?)

"Just abandoned my ass- wait- MIGUEL- did you do something to him?!?" You mutter.

Y dime que me amas, aunque sea mentira

No puedo negarte, los celos me están matando

Y dile en su cara que aún por mí suspiras

Me parte el alma no volver a verte

"I'll answer your question if you tell me you love me." He says with a smirk making you groan.

"Miguel I'm not doing this shit with you right now-" you say trying to wiggle out of his grasp fast which you successfully do now trying your best to leave the dance floor.

But he catches up to you, grabs your arm and brings you close to him. Your back against his chest, your ass on his crotch. You bite your lip and shake your head. "Por que apenas vienes a encontrarme?" You look up at him and ask. (Why are you barely coming to find me?)

Y dime que me amas, aunque sea mentira

Sabes que no hay nadie como yo

Y dile en su cara que aún por mí suspiras

Que por mí suspiras, que no, que no, que no

Yo', baby

(Solo fue amarte) Y te hablo claro

He shifts uncomfortably for a second and looks around. "I haven't even been in our universe since the break up love...."

You turn to face him and widen your eyes. "Did something happen?" I ask with a worried expression.

¿Sabes qué?

Él no te hace el amor

No te trata bien

Y que yo fui el primero en tu vida

"I'm not telling you any more. I-I just didn't want to put your life at risk- and well I still don't." He says but it doesn't stop your heart beat from calming down.

"Y-you- can we leave?" You ask and he quickly nods. You hold onto his arm while you try to move past the crowds of people and to the exit.

You walk past the booths by the entrance and Danny was actually there- taking shots off some girl's tits. You roll your eyes and make a mental note to block his ass on everything. "So you really didn't do shit to him...." you mutter and he scoffs.

"You actually thought I did?" He responds sarcastically.

"You're insufferable." You say shaking your head trying to hide your smile.

You walk out the doors and you sigh. He takes the lead in walking you a couple blocks before he pulls up to an alleyway and you furrow your brows. He then makes sure no one is near and pushed a button on his watch so his suit can appear onto his skin. "Really? Instead of an Uber?" You tease and he rolls his eyes.

"Es más fácil." He says and motioning for you to step forward. (It’s easier)

"Claro! Lo que digas codo." You say laughing and holding onto him. (Of course! Whatever you say cheap-stake)

"Jump."

You do so and he suddenly has your legs wrapped around his waist by the side. "You know the drill cariño."

You nod and wrap your arms tightly around his neck. He swings you out and we're high up in the city. All the lights made the city look even prettier especially from up here. Though you never got use to it, the first few times you threw up after. You laugh at the memory and lean your head against his shoulder. You hear him sigh and you do so as well. You’ve missed him.

—————————

translations (lazy to drag em up)

Baby! (Why are you calling me?)

Tell me if it's true that he makes you crazy

(And what's important to you?)

I still can't believe that after such little time you're already kissing someone else

What the hell?

Tell me where I messed up

If my only error was loving you

Today I'm the loser

They've stolen my trick to make you fall in love

And tell me that you love me even if it's a lie

I can't deny you, this jealousy is killing me

And tell it to his face that you still breathe for me

My heart is splitting in two and I won't ever see you again

and tell me that you love me even if it's a lie

You can already see there is no one like me

and tell it to his face that you still breathe for me

Don't trick yourself, you know you won't ever forget me

It's clear that you deserve someone better

I don't know where I messed up but there is no one like me

Listen babe, give me another opportunity you know I'm not like this...you're the only one who can make me beg like this

Looking at myself in the mirror and fighting with my ego the further I get from you the more I think of you

Tell me where I messed up

If my only error was loving you

Today I'm the loser

They've stolen my trick to make you fall in love

And tell me that you love me even if it's a lie

I can't deny you, this jealousy is killing me

And tell it to his face that you still breathe for me

My heart is splitting in two and I won't ever see you again

And tell me that you love me even if it's a lie

You can already see that there isn't anyone like me

and tell it to his face, that you still breathe for me

Don't trick yourself, you won't ever forget me

and if that makes you want to come back to me

I'll be waiting to answer you

I know that for your part you don't feel any resentment

Maybe tomorrow you'll be back to fall in love

When we used to drink we smashed, we filmed it, and we watched it

We were two crazy people not knowing where we were going

But that is talking about destiny

As time went on you chose your path

It's clear that you deserve someone better

I don't know where I messed up

But there isn't anyone like me

Tell me what my mistake was

If my only error was to love you

Today I'm the loser

They've stolen the trick to make you fall in love

And tell me that you love me even if it is a lie

I can't deny you, the jealous is killing me

and tell it to his face, that you're still breathing for me

My heart is splitting in to, I won't ever see you again

and tell me that you love me even if it's a lie

You can already see that there is no one like me

and tell it to his face that you're still breathing for me

Because of my breaths, you're not, you're not

And you know what?

He doesn't make love to you, he doesn't treat you right, and I was the first man in your life

[pieandflannel]

okay so im lowkey going a little crazy and im too scared to tell anyone but ive been out as a lesbian since senior year of high school so around 5 or 6 years ago. lately ive been sorta questioning it.

not to be tmi, but- i’ve been getting off on jackles smut A LOT and my desire for this man is to a point where i’ll be like “i would 1000% suck his dick” — very not lesbian of me LMAO. i can’t tell if what im feeling makes me possibly bi or what. like sometimes i find myself wanting to try it out and part of me is scared of being wrong [labeling myself as a lesbian] SEXUALITY IS SO WEIRD I HATE THIS it’s been a constant struggle figuring out if i genuinely have attraction to men but women were like YEP i love them it was soooo easy but men???? terrifed. confused. wtf. but some of just very beautiful. Help. (sorry for yapping at you- i needed to vomit this out in some way)

girl don’t apologise for the yap sesh! i’m here if anyone needs to talk or rant <3

honestly i believe sexuality is a beautiful journey, it’s mostly never linear and that’s totally okay because life is all about finding who you really are!

a bit of julia lore:

growing up in a quite old fashioned and close minded environment where being gay was a sin or ‘god hates gays’ type shit, has had me stay closeted until i was 21 years old. (i’m 23 soon)

also my ex best friend used to bully me about it (despite me telling her this in secret) and then used the fact i was bisexual to manipulate our shared friends to cut me off by making them think i broke off the friendship (and victimising herself) because i got too jealous of her bf, when in reality i just had enough of her treating me like utter shit (she was abusive towards me to a point i wanted to end my life) and taking all the money i earn with hard work telling me its for rent when in reality she used it for her nails n fuel to drive to her bfs house in another town (we lived together before i ran away and cut her off)

so after that… i was terrified to tell my mom that i also like girls (my father was a homophobic piece of shit that thankfully wasn’t in my life) my mom is straight but she said she loves me no matter what, so that’s cool. i’m blessed to have a mom like that.

my point here is that no matter how much someone tries to dull you down or shame you, don’t you dare hide who you truly are, because that is what makes you you. that’s what makes you beautiful. and fuck what others think. i proudly talk about me liking both genders now because the right people will stay.

i also contemplate a lot of the times if i’m a lesbian with some exceptions (fictional characters and some celebs) because when i see irl guys they disgust me, which makes me totally think i’m a lesbian.

but honestly i think if you are curious as to how it feels to do it with a guy (or girl), or if the thought arouses you, you can consider yourself bi-curious or questioning. (correct me if i’m wrong pls)

i got the same ‘problem’ as you pookie, a lot of us do actually but it’s not talked about enough.

so imo just sit back and relax, sexuality is fluid and can change over time, and there is nothing wrong with that. enjoy your journey and don’t put too much pressure on yourself with labels, you are you! beautiful you! 🏳️‍🌈💕

sorry if i was too yappy 😭

[t0ast-ghost]

“Since the Cerritos is statistically the horniest and least romantically committed crew in Starfleet, we have no married officers aboard.”

- Lower Decks S4 EP6

First off if this is referring to just their current time period then yes I’d probably agree BUT since it’s a show and I think the creators were making a clever nod towards other shows I’d like to point out some things

This’ll get long. (Spoilers for TOS, TNG, DS9, & SNW)

TOS:

Both Spock and McCoy are divorced (McCoy twice over)

Whatever was going on between Spock and Chapel ???

Kirk is apparently too committed to the enterprise (yeah definitely the ship… nobod-nothing else) to commit to any of the women that he has definitely fucked

Kirk didn’t commit to Carol Marcus and she had his son

The Shore Leave episode

Theodore Sturgeon’s letter about the Shore Leave episode

Episodes with “Paradise” in their name

Must I bring up Amok Time?

Half the crew is just in love with the ship and all their relationships fail. The one time someone tries to get married their spouse dies

TNG:

Jean Luc is happy as is … Q however

Q is the horniest motherfucker for that frenchman and I’m counting him

Riker

Beverly with the ghost

Oh yeah Jean Luc literally kills two spouses (Crusher and Sisko) he’s actively uncommitting the romantics

The show’s SECOND EPISODE is where everyone gets super horny and fucks each other

Even the “emotionless” android gets some (I cannot blame Tasha one bit, Godspeed)

That’s all I remember from this show

DS9:

JADZIA DAX MY QUEEN

Julian Bashir’s original name was Dr. Amoros. He is doctor dick.

Lwuxana Troi wants Odo so bad but that goop ain’t committing

Whatever is going on between Odo and Quark

Need I mention Garak?

Mirror universe (Kira is about to kiss herself)

Almost every character is dating each other in this show and they made it canon for several but they all fall apart (Except Rom and Leela cause they’re perfect)

The O’Brien polycule… I drew it out but it got more complicated than the O’Briens (basically Julian is best friends with Miles who is married to Keiko. Keiko was on a shuttle while pregnant with Julian and Kira when there was a crash and Julian had to transfer the child from Keiko into either him or Kira, so Kira volunteered. She ends up living with the O’Brien’s while carrying the child and bonds with both of them (to the point both she and Miles think it’s weird). Kira eventually gets with Odo who is Quark’s nemesis and Quark is crushing on Jadzia who is exes with Julian who is (somewhat unknowingly) courting Garak. Jadzia Dax becomes married to Worf but I think her and Sisko have definitely fucked. Sisko is married to Kasidy and enemies with Gul Dukat who reciprocates that but is also fixated on Kira who hates him. Did I miss something?)

Now, I bet they did not count DS9 in their statistics because it’s a station not a ship but also because they’d always win this contest

SNW:

Spock and T’Pring

Spock and Chapel

Spock and Kirk

Other Kirk and La’an

Kirk and Carol ???

(All of them fail that’s why I bring it up)

Pelia has been married to another woman (not canon but it’s gotta have happened, right?)

Whatever was going on between Una and Neera in the court episode

There’s no way Uhura’s in a relationship (they might set her up with Scotty next season but I’d like to see her and Chapel)

The others do not seem romantically committed to other people

Pike’s weird dinner parties

To be honest Lower Decks is maybe the most outright vulgar in its language but most of the time it’s a feel good show about a bunch of best friends. Their captain is married, their CMO and head security officer are in a (happy?) relationship, and third thing here.

I haven’t seen any of Voyager or Enterprise and I don’t think Discovery is that horny/romantically uncommitted

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Keepsafes

Fandom: Batman, DC Comics

Summary: AU where Martha and Thomas survive, and they adopt the batkids.

Chapters: 82/?

Characters: Bruce Wayne, Thomas Wayne, Martha Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Harvey Dent, Dick Grayson, Cassandra Cain, David Cain, Talia al Ghul, Damian Wayne, Jason Todd, Tim Drake

Relationships: Thomas Wayne/Martha Wayne/Alfred Pennyworth, BruHarvey, BruTalia

Additional Tags: Canon Divergent AU, Hurt/Comfort, Bruce Wayne is Not Batman, Angst, Alfred Pennyworth Knows All, Bruce Wayne Only Has One Child, Bruce Wayne is Not An Only Child, Bi Bruce Wayne

Chapter Eighty-Two: Secrets

The noise of Dick and Joey roughhousing in the other room came to an abrupt end, startling Bruce, who up until that moment had been brushing his teeth in preparation for bed. “Dick! Why is it silent in there?” Bruce shouted. Nothing. He rinsed out his mouth and opened the bathroom door before meeting eyes with Dick. “Where’s Joey?” No answer. Not verbally, anyway. Dick pointed to his bed where Joey lay. Dick turned around before Bruce could ask another question, and Joey seemed to immediately rise from his slumber. 

“Wow,” Dick whispered. 

Joey smiled at him. “You can’t tell anyone,” Joey signed. Dick nodded. 

“You really can fall asleep anywhere,” Dick lied. 

Bruce’s shoulders relaxed. “Okay… Weird but okay… Lights out at eleven,” Bruce whispered before roughly rustling a hand through Dick’s hair. 

“Are you gonna talk to Mom?” Dick asked. 

“Yeah… Not about the other stuff, but I’m still gonna say goodnight to her… I have to let her know we’re alright,” Bruce whispered. Dick’s eyes started going soft, and Bruce placed a hand on Dick’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about anything. Stop thinking about that. You made a very nice friend today. Order room service and keep the noise to a minimum.” Dick nodded. 

**

Martha climbed over Alfred and Thomas to answer her phone. “Hush,” Martha laughed, “Hush up. It’s the boys…” 

“About time. I can’t believe they didn’t even text us last night,” Thomas replied. 

“They were probably tired, darling,” Alfred whispered. 

Martha fixed her hair and sat up straight. “Hi, lovey,” Martha whispered. 

“Hi, Mom. Sorry we didn’t call last night. Dick and I were exhausted… The college tour went well, though… And Dick made a friend. He’s staying in our room overnight ‘cause his mom’s staying in the same hotel. 

“I’d say there’s a good chance that Dick might stay on the east coast when he goes to college. I know he was looking into California schools before this, but I think he really looks happy here,” Bruce stated. 

“I didn’t know we were trying to keep him on the East Coast. Bruce, don’t be a meddler. I know you love your brother, but you cannot force him to stay here. We didn’t force you,” Martha replied. “I know you want him around, but he’s becoming his own man.” 

“I know that, but he—. He’s only—. He’s my little brother,” Bruce sighed. 

“I know. That’s why I know wherever he goes to school, he will always come home. Maybe you should talk to Thomas and Da—. Alfred. Talk to your fathers,” Martha replied as she hid her face in her hands and staved off a laugh. 

**

Gilda rubbed Harvey’s back as a wave of guilt washed over her. “Harvey?” Gilda whispered. 

“I love you,” Harvey mumbled. 

“I love you too… But Harvey, I have to tell you something,” Gilda whispered. Harvey rolled onto his side and stared at her. “I didn’t really explain why my ex’s death was so messy…” 

“Everybody has a past, Gil’. I’m not faulting you for—.” 

“I was there when he passed away. I was right next to him… And I woke up, and he was just—. Harvey, I didn’t know what to do. I was eighteen and in love, and he—. He was ice cold. I just—. I thought I’d wake up. I had to go away for a while to get help afterward… And I—. If it wasn’t for his autopsy revealing that he was sick, I might not have gotten—.” Gilda hugged her knees as she tried to ramble on. 

Harvey sat up and kissed her cheek. “Okay. That’s not your fault, though. You were eighteen. You couldn’t control that situation… And I couldn’t imagine how that must’ve felt for you… 

“And I don’t know the person that you were before I met you. It doesn’t change how I see you. Wait—. Are you having second thoughts about—?”

“No. I wanna get married. I wanna have this baby. I want all of it… But I didn’t want to move forward until you knew how that might affect me sometimes. We talked about it, and I think it’s making me feel weird again,” Gilda replied, “And I don’t know what to do about—. That’s why I didn’t want to talk about that nightmare I had.” 

“Oh. Do you want to talk about it now?” Harvey asked. He gently pulled her into his lap. Gilda shook her head. “I don’t want to sound idealistic or anything, but I know we can make this work. I trust you. I love you. I will never leave you. Not again. That first time, I was scared. I wasn’t sure if you’d accept me… And you have. I’m gonna make it work no matter what. Okay?” Gilda nodded as he gingerly kissed her cheek. “Are we okay? Or do you still—?”

“Thank you for loving me,” Gilda whispered. 

“Thank you for loving me back… And I’m so sorry I’ve been down in the dumps about that shit earlier. I didn’t ever want you to see that. I didn’t want you to see what I’m like around him,” Harvey apologized. “You don’t deserve that.” 

**

Dick slept with his face pressed against Joey’s cheek, their limbs tangled in a gentle embrace. Joey lay on his back, tenderly holding Dick’s arm as his foot stuck out of the sheets, hanging off the bed. Dick’s hand was sweetly draped over Joey’s shoulder. Bruce sat up, pressing his palms to his eyelids before checking the time. Time itself felt still as if it’d be morning forever. Bruce looked over at Dick and smiled before snapping a picture for the photo album. The shutter sound woke both boys up and nearly resulted in a kiss. Dick turned facing the wall, his cheeks rosy, and Joey took a deep breath and yawned as if nothing happened. He stretched his arms and hooked one around Dick’s neck before signing something. Dick’s face went crimson, and he signed something in reply before climbing over Joey and taking his bag to the bathroom. 

Bruce smiled and waved awkwardly. “Joey, what’d you say to him?” Bruce asked. 

Joey typed something into his phone and climbed out of bed to show Bruce a note in his phone that read, “I told him that it was the best night of sleep I’ve ever had. He said the same. Is he okay?” 

Bruce chuckled. “No, he’s just been squirrely lately,” Bruce replied. “He’s been stressed out.” 

**

Cassandra trained Bette in the gym while Miette slept on the floor. Bette was nowhere near Cassandra’s skillset, but Cassandra learned from Dinah and Ted that demonstrating restraint is a skill in itself. “Be calm,” Cassandra explained. “If you get too excited, you’ll get distracted… And if you get distracted, I can do this.” Cassandra took a handful of Bette’s hair in her hand. Cassandra didn’t pull her hair or do anything to cause her any pain, but she held onto it to demonstrate that Bette left herself open for an attack of that nature. 

Dylan poked his head in the gym and smiled. “Hi, kids. My book club’s about to have sandwiches. Would you like to join us?” Dylan offered. 

Cassandra nodded, and Bette dragged her along to the sitting room. A few men and women sat around with identical books to the side. Dylan introduced the girls. “This is my daughter, Mary Elizabeth, and my niece, Cassandra. Ladies, this is my book club. Okay… From right to left, this is my friend from college, Mark Harjo. Mark’s half-sister, Angie Patterson. Angie’s girlfriend, Valerie. The Piano Man, Scott. Dez from the coffee shop, and Maël’s friend, Inez-Marie.” 

“Hi,” all of them said in unison. 

**

Bruce stood to the side while Joey and Dick said their goodbyes. He took it as an opportunity to call Harvey. “Bruce, how’s your trip with your brother going?” Harvey asked. 

“Good… I’m just watching Dick say goodbye to the kid he met during the tour,” Bruce answered, “Why do you sound upset?” 

“I—. How do you know I’m upset?” Harvey asked. 

“I’ve known you for half my life… You sound small on the phone… Do you wanna tell me about it?” Bruce asked. 

“I’d rather not. You’ll get involved, and I can’t stop you once you’ve made up your mind. Boy Wonder any closer to picking his top three? Or are we about to witness a hat-pull situation next year?” Harvey replied. 

“I think he’s got his heart set on this one,” Bruce answered as he watched Dick and Joey sign back and forth before hugging. “I can’t wait to tell you how it went. I think this trip was more successful than I planned…”

[qprstobin]

"there's no evidence that tommy and carol bullied anyone" so publicly humiliating nancy by spray painting nancy the slut wheeler on the hawk sign was just what. because steve implied that was their idea and they did it. you don't just go from never bullying anyone to doing some real diabolical shit like that so. sure steve never bullied anyone but you're reaching trying to extend that to tommy especially. don't forget how easily he got chummy with the racist the following season and joined in gleefully bullying steve

I'm not excusing the graffiti, but I don't think spray painting the slut graffiti as revenge because they (wrongly) thought Nancy cheated on Steve makes it bullying lmao. Bullying is repeated and targeted. One instance is not bullying. I also think "diabolical" is doing a lot of heavy lifting there. Like what they did was cruel, but diabolical? Graffiti and spreading rumors is like the most typical "get revenge on your/your friend's shitty ex" thing you could do, they just did it in public instead of like the school bathroom. Public shaming for cheating is SUCH a common trope, like do you know how often I see that "WELCOME HOME CHEATER" meme? I'm not saying that makes it right, because it doesn't! But it also doesn't make them evil?

Like I never said that Tommy and Carol are nice lol. They're asshole teenagers! That's canon! Steve calls them out on that and breaks ties with them because of it! But being a dick teenager does not make you a bully, all teenagers are dicks lol.

I also think interpreting Tommy's scenes with Billy as that is in bad faith personally. Homeboy is in like two scenes with Billy - one where Tommy is clearly trying to make Steve jealous, and the other where he is making fun of Steve for his gf once again supposedly cheating on him. The gf that Steve dumped his friends for, after she supposedly cheated on him the first time.

And yeah Billy is racist but y'all are acting like? Everyone in the show should automatically know that? How? The racist shit Billy says on screen is mainly to Max, and later in the show where he actually attacks Lucas. There's a good chance that Steve didn't even realize that Billy's attack on the kids was racially motivated until after the fact.

Considering that Billy literally doesn't interact with anyone but his coworkers and Karen in s3, and the fact that Tommy does not actually seem to like violence that much or at least seems to have a limit! Considering how he reacted to the fight in s1 (going from "hell yeah a fight to oh fuck shit is serious"), I don't think Tommy stayed friends with Billy after season 2 lmao. Like idk I did not get the impression that Billy had any friends in s3.

You're accusing me of reaching but saying stuff like "no one goes from never bullying anyone to something that diabolical" isn't? My whole point has always been that he may be a dick, but there's nothing to show him being anything other than a stereotypical class clown type douchebag lol. The Party's fucking bullies threatened them at knife point. Billy bashes a plate over Steve's head and tries to run the kids off the fucking road with his car. The Angela storyline was so extreme that it was unrealistic and is almost an universally hated part of the season. Tommy makes some mean comments, gives Barb a wet willy, and then rubs it in his ex best friend's face that someone has taken his place and that his gf is cheating on him. Like, the graffiti was bad and Nancy should've probably slapped all three of them not just Steve, but it was a petty and misguided revenge scheme, not bullying.

I think if Tommy was intended to be an actual bully the way fandom pretends he is, we would've seen more of it on screen. If Tommy and Carol were so cruel to the whole school, Robin and Eddie would've said something about it? But they don't! The Duffers are SO blatant about how they go about things, I think if they were truly meant to be bullies, they would've been way more obvious about it lmao.

Like, think what you want! If you wanna headcanon them as being an actual bullies, that's your prerogative. But it's not actually canon.

[thegeminisage]

ok we watched the tng pilot. let's get into it

data is my best friend on this show and i love him

i liked riker but jonathan frakes looks like a baby without facial hair. he's gotta grow that in. also, at one point he asked someone a question and i got really excited. he should ask more people more questions i think thats what jonathan frakes was born to do. that and sit in chairs with style

also liked geordi even though we only saw him for 3 seconds and worf even though same.

the sections with q draaaaaaagged. ik people like q and whatever he has going on with picard but i'm just not there yet. this "humans are NOT savages anymore" plotline has been played out in tos many times to better effect

actually shocked picard was such a dick. idk why i was expecting him to be more kind maybe i was projecting professor x onto him?? but he kinda sucked lol like what was EVEN going on w his little pissing contest with riker

love and light, there should not be children on a starship. space is fucking dangerous. they're literally boldly going where no one has gone before. these kids could get hurt

the ship??? splits?????????? IS THAT LEGAL????

ok, furthermore, sorry, speaking of kids, not to be a misogynist but out of the 3 ladies (troi, crusher, and yar) i dislike 2 of them. love and light to deanna troi but i really hope she gets something to do besides emote and go OH THE PAIN...her look was slay. i understand completely how she turned women gay. give her something to do. give her a chance. i know she could be good.

i didn't mind dr crusher until she let her kid on the bridge even though you're not supposed to do that and they told him to touch nothing and he proceeded to touch everything and then she got mad when picard got mad. picard spent 70% of this episode being a dick and the one time he was justified she was like :/ wow you're such a dick. lmao. girl come on he literally said don't touch anything he was already being nicer than he had to be. the child was in the wrong children shouldn't even be on this ship

also they talk about wesley like he's their affair baby. idw if its true but nobody tell me. let me believe it. wesley crusher destined to suffer through male pattern baldness

also, i can see now why you're not supposed to date your ship mates. dating them is fine but being exes with them is excruciating and we had TWO PAIRS this pilot

anyway. tasha yar was rad i DID love her.

it's weird though how many of them use first names...in tos sometimes they didn't even use last names, only titles. spock called bones "doctor" almost exclusively. so riker calling geordi geordi after like 5 minutes of knowing him was a little weird

i cried when bones showed up. sue me. his prosthetics were terrible and i already miss him so much.

SPACE JELLYFISH. that part was good

overall both the adventure and the interpersonal stuff was a little ????? which is like. you can flop on one or the other. i DO have faith it will get better but i feel kind of lukewarm on it so far

there's a lot of direct counterpoints to tos, but it's shuffled JUUUST enough so it feels like it isn't copying tos's homework word for word but rewording it to trick the teacher. for example, data is like spock in that he doesn't understand emotions or whatever, but it's actually the inverse because spock understands and pretends not to, while data truly doesn't understand but wants to. then you have deanna troi who's sort of filling in for the other thing spock used to do, which is give us general impressions about unknown alien life, but she SPECIFICALLY does it through emotions so she doesn't resemble spock too much. the captain and first officer have a lot of scenes together but they're tense so it doesn't look too tempting to the slash fans. the doctor is still a bit grumpy but she's a woman this time. they don't use tricorders but geordi's special prosthetic helps them see all that shit anyway. it's tos but shuffled. lmao that it took 2 people to replace spock <3

anyway my favorite part, aside from the part bones was in, was when riker and data talked in the holodeck. and riker was like actually yeah the fact that you're a machine DOES make me uncomfortable. and data is like well i am superior but i'd like to be human actually! and you could see the little gears in riker's head turning and later he called data friend. i liked that and i love data. i love data he's very important even though the pilot wasn't good i think i would keep watching no matter what for data. and i knew it would be like that.

[noisyquokka]

GIRL!! I just read your Lino fic and 🧎🏻‍♀️

I see your rqs are about to close so I was hoping maybe you could do a little sumthn sumthn angsty for my boy YangYang? I'd prefer F!reader and sumthn like you broke up and get kinda really jealous seeing him at a party with some girl and maybe you get back together maybe ya don't I'll leave that up to your creative mind? Could you also add Renjun and Xiaojun in as well, like a friend group type thing? I know this is a lot and maybe too detailed but like I NEED more angst from you plz and thank you 😩

Take care and stay hydrated 🤍

Scorched Auroras

PAIRING - YangYang x F!Reader (ft. Renjun & Xiaojun)

SYNOPSIS - You've had your regrets over the years, it's a part of the human experience. But nothing will ever compare to the pain of Him walking out of your life.

WORDCOUNT - 4.4k

WARNINGS - All around Angst, Cheating, Lies, Descriptions of Anxiety Attack, Heated Arguments, Exes to ???, Mentions of Alcohol, Reader wears feminine clothes (dress, heels, etc.), Renjun's kind of a dick in this... he's just trying to help, YangYang is also a dick but it's well-deserved || Let me know if I've missed anything!

A/N - The way I've been wanting to write more angst after that Minho fic, but I've just not gotten around to it... 😔 Thanks for the request, Darling! ngl I spent more time rereading this than I did writing this to the point that I have no idea if this is as good as I originally thought it was, (we love inconvenient writers block) so feedback would be greatly appreciated. And to all you YangYang girlies 👋🏻 I'm sorry for this.

“Huang Renjun, when I find your sorry ass…”

Your heels reverberate against the floors of the house, quick and staccato as you seek out the host of the party. This was supposed to be a chill little get together with mutual friends; all put together by Renjun. Same people. Same place. But when you walked through the front door, you’d been paralyzed.

Through the hall - between the mass of bodies that danced and conversed with each other - you had spotted Liu YangYang sitting pretty on the leather sofa, strumming away on his six-string. His eyes had found yours, and that genuine smile on his face had faded, his brows knitting as he blinked and looked away. He was surrounded by mutual friends, but you couldn’t take your eyes off the group of girls that sat like a pride of lions around him.

Funny enough, looking around the house… this party? Not so little or so mutual. In fact, you’re almost certain there’s friends of friends here, migrating up the stairs that you’ve just traversed. And the majority of them have been gathered around your ex-boyfriend for the past hour like he was the main entertainment of the evening.

So here you are, with a handful of drinks in you and your patience dwindling. You huff, sparing glances through open doors and knocking on others down the hall until you’re finally directed to Renjun’s bedroom by a random party-goer.

“Renjun!” your knuckles rap on the door, calling over the back beat of the blaring music. “I know you’re in there! Open the damn door!”

When there’s no answer, you grunt and knock louder. There’s no doubt he can hear you, your fist aching with every hit to the wood grain. The door opens, a very buzzed Renjun appearing before you.

“Fuck, where’s the fire!?”

You shoot him a glare, leaning against the door frame.

“We need to talk.”

“I’m a little busy at the moment.” He chuckles, glancing over his shoulder. It’s now that you notice the wrinkles in his clothes, his dark hair an unruly mess that he attempts to fix by carding his fingers through the tresses. The smear of red at the corner of his mouth has you narrowing your eyes. You scoff.

“Yeah… busy.”

Renjun stumbles, your hand darting out to snatch at the collar of his white tee. His protests fall on deaf ears as you pull him down the hall towards his makeshift studio. He knows he’s not going anywhere, even as he attempts to wretch your fingers from the fabric.

“You’re a real piece of work, you know that?” The heavy bass drums steady in your chest as you yank Renjun into the room. The moment your past the threshold, you let him go, slamming the door behind you.

“Hey, easy!”

“You lied to me.”

Renjun lets loose an exasperated chuckle, smoothing down the fabric of his shirt.

“I wish I knew what you were talking about.” he says, raising his brow. There’s a ghost of amusement playing on his face. He knows. It only fuels your aggravation.

“Oh, YangYang won’t be there, I promise.” You mock the words he’d told you over a FaceTime call just a few days ago. Renjun meets your glare evenly, seemingly unimpressed. He rolls his eyes when you cross your arms.

“I didn’t know he’d come. He told me he had something planned tonight.”

“Right, fucking fat chance that he’s sitting right where I’d catch him cozied up around a bonfire of girls.”

“The perfect place to play a guitar.” he quips. Your eyes narrow, following his movements as he turns toward the random clutter in the studio.

“You know how much I hate this version of Renjun.”

“Which one?” he asks, a teasing lilt in his tone. He stops at his desk, rearranging strewn journals and crumpled pages that have nearly landed in the bin beside the workspace.

“The one that plays dumb just to get out of answering me.”

“I do not-”

“You do!” you bite, feet situating themselves under your weight. You level the brunette with a pointed look.

“You’re holding out on me, I can tell. So, are you gonna spill or what?”

You watch the cogs turn behind his eyes, bringing a hand up to rub at his brow, clearly frustrated with the way this conversation is going. Brown eyes shift from the far wall, dropping the journals on the desk. He turns to you, a look crossing his face that you can’t pinpoint.

“I already told you, I had no idea he was gonna be here, okay? I asked him if he was coming and he said no.” Renjun glances to your form and the way you’re seemingly guarding the door like a well-trained hound. “I didn’t openly invite him. He showed up on his own. Any reason you’re so pissed about that?”

The question catches you off guard. Any reason you’re so pissed about that? What, with the way things ended, you certainly have no right to be. Ignoring the stabbing in your chest, you lick your lips, nails digging into your forearm. He catches the way you shift, spine straightening against the wall.

“What kind of question is that?” you ask, voice clipped.

“A valid one.” Renjun replies, leaning against his desk. There’s that casual air that he exudes as his eyes rake down your body. Observing. Your choice in outfit; that little black dress, the time you put into your hair and makeup, those stilettos. Renjun knows you don’t put that amount of time into going out unless it means something.

He clicks his tongue, blinks. Bourbon swirls with some kind of intent.

“You’re the one who broke up with him, remember? Although I’ve gotta say, if looks could kill, those girls fawning over him would be dead at his feet.”

“Watch your words, Huang.” you warn, a sharpness to your tone that leaves the guy unbothered.

“I haven’t said a thing… it’s called observing.” His voice is cool as ice, arms coming to cross over his chest.

“You’re implying.”

He laughs, snake eyes pinning him where he stands.

“I’m just stating the facts.”

“You want facts?” You close the distance between you and Renjun so quickly, he doesn’t have time to react before you’re right in his face, “You know exactly what the hell you did. You knew how much I didn’t want him here, it’s why I asked you when you invited me. You made a promise that you blew to the wind.”

Your voice is calm but tight - like a rubber band pulled to its limits. You can’t bring yourself to care about how you come across at this point. Not when there’s seven vodka shots warming your veins, clouding all rationality. Your patience is gone as you glare up at the man, watching as a dark brow twitches behind stray tresses. You’re done playing his stupid little game.

The tink of plastic against metal hits your ears as Renjun swipes a broken guitar pick off the desk into the trash bin, eyes deadlocked on the sneer that’s prying at your lips. For a second, he mulls over his actions that led up to this point. Perhaps he’s being a bit of an ass, but you’ve put off talking things out with YangYang for months. He's felt the strain it's put on the group dynamic, and he’s sick of hearing you both say everything is fine. How can two people be fine when they can’t tolerate being in the same room together? And now you come to him like he’s done you wrong, like what he’s done is unforgivable… Renjun doesn’t get it.

A knock at the door pulls him from his thoughts.

“Renjun, you in here? Some jackass is-”

The door opens, Xiaojun stopping short at the sight before him. The tense charge in the room hits him like a tidal wave, and the scowl that etches your face doesn’t give him much room to speculate.

“Uh, sorry to interrupt.” he says, looking between you two. Renjun scratches at his neck, clearing his throat.

“What is it, man?”

“There’s some guy starting shit by the pool. Thought it’d be a job for the host.”

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute.”

Xiaojun nods, giving you both one last fleeting glance before the door closes. When the footsteps fade into nothing but reverberating bass, Renjun slips out of the space between you and the desk.

“Where are you going?”

“To take care of damage control, as you just heard.” He turns toward the door with a finality that says this conversation is well over. If you weren’t buzzing, were in your right state of mind, you would have let him go. But the addition of alcohol only egged on your unbridled emotions.

“No, we’re not done talking.” You hiss, a hand darting out to catch his wrist. Renjun groans, and you hear your name slip off his tongue like a bad omen as he aggressively shrugs you off him.

“Stop! Just-” He turns his back to the door, looking at you like you’ve lost your mind. You look on with wide eyes as he takes a deep breath, brows twitching. “You both said that you broke up because things weren’t working out. Something about schedules and other conflicting shit…”

He shakes his head, optics flickering over your face, searching for some sort of answer as to why you're reacting this way. When your shoulders sag, he knows enough. You’re closing off, and as much as Renjun wants to be the friend that mothers you back to good spirits with a gentle hand, it seems that isn’t gonna work. The way you approached this tonight has him clutching at his last straw.

“It’s not my business but-”

“You’re right, it’s not your business-”

“But you decided to make it my business when you pulled me in here and fucking interrogated me! That alone tells me there’s more to the story than you two have let on.” You press you lips together, optics locking onto the far wall. You hear the steady release of a sigh, the rattling of the door knob under his palm. “You’ve been friends for years. You never let the simple things interfere back then.”

“Romantic relationships are different, Renjun.” You don’t need to meet those eyes to know he’s unconvinced.

“You’re impossible…” He mutters. The floorboards groan under his feet as he turns back toward the door, shoulders tight under the fabric of his shirt.

“This conversation is going nowhere. I don’t know why you dragged me in here and grilled me about the one person you don’t want to talk about, but I have a party to host.” His fingers grip the door knob and twist, amber eyes meeting yours over his shoulder.

“I don’t know what the hell is going on between you two, but you need to talk to him. Before the fallout ruins this friend group.”

The door slams shut, and you blink as Renjun’s heavy footfalls fade down the hall. His words sink in. He’s right. You sag against the wall, letting your head fall against the drywall, trying to process everything that just happened. Releasing the breath you didn’t even realize you were holding as the liquor takes another round through your hazy mind. The threat of tears infect your vision, burning even as you attempt to blink them away.

“Fuck.” you hiss, fingers coming to press against the junction of your nose bridge and the corners of your eyes until the pressure conjures rainbow static behind your lids. “Fuck. Fuck!”

You’re ready to leave. Ready to leave this party, block phone numbers and move out of the country if it means you don’t have to face the one person you regret hurting. Selfish, really, but in your current state of mind, it sounds like heaven. You’ve let this situation hang over your head for the past eight months, praying it would go away on it’s own. It’s obvious no God will let you off that easily.

God damn…

Your feet are moving before you can think any further, the studio door left ajar as your figure strides down the hall and descends the stairs. You need a glass of water to clear your head, something to prepare yourself for what’s about to happen. Optics dart to the sofa, where YangYang has been most of the evening, but he’s no longer there. The guitar leans against the wall, propped up with the help of the sofa's armrest. You bee-line for the kitchen.

The main space between the living room and kitchen has significantly dwindled to a small group of people, and you remember what Xiaojun had said about the shit starter by the pool. A simple glance to the back patio tells you that’s where everyone has gone. Empty cups and snack trays are left behind, alongside a few couples making out in the corner, and the few people conversing near the kitchen island, including Xiaojun. He greets you with a soft smile, offering you another drink that you graciously decline.

“You good?” he asks, smile fading into furrowed brows.

“Yeah, I think I’m over the alcohol for tonight.” you mutter, taking an chilled water bottle from the cooler. “Do you know where YangYang ran off to?”

“Last I saw him, he looked like he was leaving for the night.” he replies, taking another swig of his beverage. You blink, cracking the cap on the bottle and bringing it to your lips in one swift motion. Despite the amount of alcohol you’ve had in such a short amount of time, the water you take down washes away your brain fog, and you turn toward the front door with a newfound clarity.

YangYang isn’t gone. You know him well enough. And you’re ready to face him. You have to be. Because you aren’t leaving here until you set things right.

You pat Xiaojun on the shoulder as you leave, a quiet thanks uttered as you force yourself to move toward the exit, fingers latching on the handle.

The cool night air washes over your skin, but you welcome the instantaneous sobering up it provides. It’s quiet out here, as quiet as a house party can get for the chatter and music, crickets chirping in the protection of well-manicured shrubs. With a quick scan of your surroundings, you find who you’re looking for.

Liu YangYang stands at the far corner of the porch, leaning against the railing with his back to you. He’d be unnoticeable by most people, shrouded in October shadows.

You’re not most people.

It’s as if the world falls still in the time it takes you to walk over, your stomach swirling like a blender on full power. He’s by himself out here. That makes it easier, right? You let out a shaky breath, the sudden urge to bolt over the railing and disappear into the woods like a spooked fawn flooding your veins. But you don’t. You can’t.

“We need to talk.” you pipe up, clearing your throat in an attempt to hide the tremor in your voice. Black hair falls into brown eyes, a grunt of your name passing his lips at the sound of your voice. You never want to hear him say your name like that again. Like you're the scum of the earth.

“Heard you were pretty pissed about my being here.” he says. Even under his sweater, you can see how taught his back muscles are, how he's trying to hold himself back. Your eyes slip shut.

Renjun… He must have caught up with YangYang before you could make it downstairs. You let the curses slip to the back of your mind, focusing on the matter at hand. You know this doesn’t have to be hard. Just a short, civil conversation between you and your ex. With a lick of your lips, you try again.

“YangYang, I’m-”

“You know, it’s really fucking insulting to hear that.” He brings the half-full solo cup in his hand to his lips, taking the rest of his drink down in one go. Dark optics stare blankly toward the dimly lit street. “Especially when you’ve avoided me for the past eight months. When no one else knows the truth about you.”

You swallow hard at his comment, staring at the foot that he can't stop tapping against the porch.

“I don’t wanna fight with you, YangYang.” you say, taking a step toward him, “I know you don’t want to talk to me, but I need to talk to you.”

You hear the huff of a scoff, and he turns just enough to lock eyes with you from over his shoulder, pupils digging into you from the corners.

“Better eight months late than never.”

“YangYang-”

“What?” he interjects, snapping like a cornered fox, “Too busy with them to come to me sooner with your bullshit excuses?”

YangYang doesn’t need to face you to get his emotions across. You’ve never had trouble deciphering whether he was emotionally six feet under or floating on cloud nine. But now, you feel like you’re Gaia up against the raw power of Helios; a violent storm of solar particles slamming against you in his attempts to protect his heart from freezing over.

The auroras of scorched and unspoken truths. Your magnetic field is battered and bruised too significantly to sustain such a blow.

That’s on you, you know. You’d come to the realization eight months ago when you took that sledgehammer to a decade of friendship. A decade of trust that transformed into so much more. An angel of a boy that you threw away - tore his wings from his back for good measure.

You shake your head, that fire burning behind your eyes.

“You’re not being fair, here.” You whisper, and as much as you don’t want this conversation to escalate, you know there’s no stopping it. You flinch when he whips around, wild eyes boring into yours, a snarl threatening to break the crease of his lips. He points a finger at you.

“You cheated, Love! You!” The term of endearment is anything but; poison on the tongue that used to serenade you and whisper sweet nothings in your ear. He is the ferocity of a rabid dog in the form of gnashing teeth and beady eyes, panting and growling in warning when you try to console it.

“Two years together! Thirteen years of friendship and trust that you so easily struck a match to like that?! Fucking treated me like I was an afterthought in your daily schedule while we were still together! The nights you came home and lied through your teeth, telling me you were working late… that you were out with friends… Fuck, I even felt you pulling away and I still tried telling myself that I was crazy. No, no, you wouldn’t do that to me. We’ve been through so much together. Fucking fool, I am!”

You watch him through the glaze of tears as he stalks toward you. The hurt in his eyes burns like a serrated knife, slicing away at the worn and ruptured threads of your relationship that scream with every threat of the blade.

“So, no, you don't get to tell me I'm being unfair! I saw the way you watched me tonight. You probably don't realize how many drinks you had because you were too busy raising your hackles at the girls that I was talking to. Ran off to light a fire under Renjun's ass because things didn't go your way.”

Your heart pounds against your breast, your pulse violent in your fingertips. In your head, this conversation played out with less hostility. You expected some anger - it’s only fair with the pain you put him through - but this was another level entirely. In all your years of knowing YangYang, he’d never blown up like this.

Never at you.

Never because of you.

This isn’t the boy that you would race to school every morning, who dried your tears and rubbed the rocks from your knees when you tripped yourself. The one who would send you dumb memes in the middle of class, and took accountability so you weren't sitting in detention alone. Who bought you a promise ring for your ten years of being friends, and another when you celebrated two years of dating.

Your rock in the toughest situations and you threw him into the ocean with little thought. Didn't even watch as he sank to the depths.

You blink, feeling the tears track down you cheeks as you speak.

“I never wanted to hurt you like I did, and I should’ve talked to you about this months ago. I’ve…” You hesitate, “I’ve been think about that night a lot.”

“Good.” He doesn’t miss a beat.

“It was a mistake, and I can’t even give you a good reason for it.” you whimper, breath catching in your throat, “I’m so sorry, YangYang. I-I wasn’t thinking straight. I never should’ve-”

Words fail you, your composure breaking with a burst of tears that hits so suddenly, it's impossible to breathe. You hug yourself with trembling arms, nails digging into your palms.

“I don’t want this to be it for us,” you say, your words strangled as you try to wrangle in your tears, “there has to be a way to fix this!”

He’s close enough to touch, and you reach out with little thought, pulling him into you, wrapping your arms around his torso. Your fingers grip into the back of his sweater as you sob into his shoulder, your body shaking with every strangled hiccup.

YangYang doesn’t move, doesn't push you off. He just stands here. There’s no warm embrace enveloping your frame, no tears to share with you. It’s like you’re hugging a stone statue, the body heat that he exudes being some sort of sick joke when all you feel is the chill of a vacant shell.

“Please, tell me what I can do to fix it!” The plea hangs over you like a specter, ghastly fingers wrapping tight around your throat. The silence grows long, nothing more than faint strains of music drifting through the cracks of the windows and doors of the house, carrying some hint of life beyond the two of you. You almost wish he’d begin to yell again, growl about the extent of which you’ve hurt him. Anything but this indifference, this apathy towards the one girl he’s given everything to. But this… this feels like him finally giving up. Like he’s finally decided that you aren’t worth the trouble anymore. You don’t want to accept it, but every second that ticks by is like another nail in the coffin.

You pull away, fingers twitching as they come up to cradle his jaw. The muscles under the flesh tenses, and he recoils from your touch like it’s physically hurting him, looking off across the street with a hollow gaze. It’s a tortuously long moment before he levels you with those brown eyes. They’re dull when they look at you now; worlds away. A fresh grave, its soil rejecting any and all growth, no flowers, no grass. Seeds greedily plucked from the ground by songbirds and rodents. No one to care for the plot when the soul’s story is made up of little white lies. He watches from the corner of his eye as the tears collect on mascara-laden lashes, the makeup mixing with the liquid as it trickles down and off your chin.

“I don’t want it to be over either,” he admits. A stray tear falls from his lash line, but there’s a void of emotion in his tone. “But…”

There’s that pause again, and you can’t handle it this time. The knot in your chest tightens like a vice, brows pulling inward when he goes to take a step backward. You shake your head, his name sputtering from your lips like it’s the only thing that could offer a modicum of comfort.

“I love you, YangYang,” you say the words quickly, desperately, clinging to his arms as he spares you nothing more than a glance. “I still do, please, please don’t- don’t do this! I’m sorry!”

“That’s the same dress.”

You look up with wide eyes, jaw slack as you sniffle.

“What?”

“You wore that dress the night you came home drunk with them.” he says.

You glance down at the fabric hugging your figure, the memories from that night coming back to you in what little fragments you can remember. Clinging to their shirt as you both laughed between kisses, the clumsy fumble of your key in the lock. You had woke up to them in your bed, a raging hangover, and your boyfriend sitting on the couch in silence when you went searching for a glass of water and an Aspirin. You don't remember doing anything more than kissing, but cheating was cheating. And YangYang had been livid.

He shakes his head, laughs incredulously. “You’re insane. You're dead to me.”

“YangYang, I-” is all you can get out before he’s pulling away again, shoving you off him with enough force to send you staggering to your knees. For a moment you sit there in a stunned stupor, your hands splayed over the wood grain of the porch, gasping for breath as you openly sob. Composing yourself at this point is impossible, anxiety clutching at your lungs like a serpent’s stranglehold. Your legs tremble, eyes burning with unspent tears. He hasn’t walked away yet, and for a moment you think maybe there’s some semblance of salvaging this until-

“Don’t come crawling back to me when they put you through the same shit you put me through. Fucking cry yourself to sleep.”

It’s the last thing he says, storming off as he passes your heaving frame with little more than a glance. Down the front steps. Down the path to the side walk. It’s over. You choke back sobs as you fight for oxygen, numb to the feeling of warm hands on your back. Through the onslaught of tears, you recognize the shoe beside your knee as Xiaojun’s.

You try to focus on his voice, listening to each syllable as he murmurs your name in your ear and his attempts to guide you out of this frantic head space, but all you can focus on is the black hole manifesting within your chest. Your heart is like lead at your feet, your lungs burn, and your ears ring to a fever pitch.

YangYang’s words ring in your head like a death knell. The bell’s final toll signaling the end as the shadow of the man you knew disappears down the street.

You have no one to blame but yourself.

Psst!! If you made it this far, thank you for taking the time to read my work 💕 I appreciate you!

[shotatsuki]

Aside from the experiences you've had with your MC... Have you had any other toxic moments or experiences with other members of the YN0 community or something? (If you don't, it doesn't necessarly have to be with you, but with other members of the community that have been shitty to each other for stupid reasons or something count too).

(Also, with that being said, I watched some bullshit from the community too, like reviving dead dramas, being mad at Wallpapers from 2kk1 and judging tastes so aggressively that they treat you like shit if you like a controversial game or "problematic" content from some media [at least in the 2kki server], but I'm interested to hear your point of view of other thingies that happen in the community...).

(And last thing, if you want to have a moot from YN0 who isn't toxic or something, I'm here if you want to talk with someone, of course, if I see you some day in 2kk1 or other fangames to play each other or if you allow me to talk in your DMs to agree on when to play, because I'm really interested to chat and play with you. :3).

I wouldn't really say that those were all bad/Toxic Moments, but they made me pretty uncomfy/confused:

I was already in a tour (One of the multiple Rttp tours) Where some of the people who were on voice chat were talking about how the person who hosts these tours (Whoever goes to these tour knows very well about who i'm talking about, because i won't say their name here) has an enemy, and this enemy is also a (Censored fangame name) W1t0ru fan, but the only "problem" is that they (The other w1t0ru fan) are proship. I remember that they kept talking shit about this person in vc, Saying that they should kts and shit like that (Even though they weren't even on the tour, that was a dick move imo. And they were in this topic for a REALLY LONG TIME (Aka the whole way from Marshmallow shallows (Taking the critter village path) to Virtual city). It made me pretty uncomfortable, But since i don't really talk in vc, i stayed silent)

The community itself is (For what i've seen) EXTREMELY antiship with CERTAIN ships (Specially on discord). For example: You can ship (Censored character names) Ur0 and S4bi (I have seen multiple hcs that people make saying that the are close friends), But you can't ship S0ut4r0u and T4tsuk1 (Even though they are also heavily headcanon-ed to be close friends) because "They are brother-coded!!!" (For what i have seen, they aren't even related). And you need to have the "Popular opinion" or else they literally bully you and tell the mods to kick you out

They share the classic "If you like this character you condone their actions" mentality that most antis in fandom spaces have, but it happens with the most RANDOM characters ever. Ex: You can't like (Censored character names) J0s3 because he kills K4z4gurum4 in his ending and she did nothing wrong (Even though it was hinted through the game that she was stalking J0s3, being extremely obsessive over him and shit like that). But you can like Ur0 (Even though she has MULTIPLE EVENTS WHERE SHE HAS TO KILL OTHER NPCS (Ex.: A0jiru event, Blood sacrefice event, and a lot more events)) because she is just a silly girl that likes dreaming

The people on the discord also keep making "Kys" Jokes (specially some of the people that go to Rttp) Which just tells you what type of person that they are (Thank god that i'm a lurker and never got told to kms because of that (If we exclude the whole "Let's boil Allan" Thing that happened with the MC)

The community is (In my opinion) full of chronically online people (For as far as i know they are extremely focused online) (I feel like i need to rant to someone about the community, because jesus christ i hate the YN0 community sometimes)

So far those are all my problems with the YN0 community, i'll probably reblog this in case if something else happens!

(Also unrelated but you can always talk with me through DMs, Anon!!)

[nesting-dreams]

I find modern dc writers quite immature.I also feel pity for them cuz they clearly don’t know how relationships work

I’m thinking of them trying to make out like the older generation had certain intentions (these people aren’t mind readers so how could they know their intentions in the 1980s while these new people would of been children or not even born yet) and their stories aren’t as good as new. Any storyline or relationships. We have to weaken the impact of that old to prop up ours cuz we can’t be bothered to put the extra work in. When my question is: why can’t both be equally good?

Like arguing about Dick grayson and Kori vs Barbara. Why we gotta pit them against each other? Why they gotta make kori look stupid who only apparently had only a sexual relationship with Dick? “Those two didn’t mean anything” modern dc creators.

As someone mature and has had experience with people, Kori and dick are a first love. First loves are special. You sometimes think about how things could of gone differently. You cherish the good and bad memories with them. first loves are raw and messy in best ways possible. They help you grow to learn about your value to others and the value of yourself as a person. First loves are special.

Barbara and Dick is the true love couple. Which is just as special as Kori and Dick’s. It’s not raw and messy anymore at this point though. They’ve learned from past relationships to have more experience in this one. (This whole debate is just as immature as Gwen vs MJ. Gwen is the first love. Mj is the true love. I do prefer how they handled Mj’s thoughts about Gwen. The writers for marvel at least acknowledged that first loves are just as special as the true loves. They have peter admit that gwen taught him how to love and now he has Mj to use that growth effectively for her. Peter is not Mj’s first love. She had one before him too but didn’t work out. They ended it peacefully. I forgot his name though 😂 ).

In modern stuff whenever they have Kori in it, they eventually push her to the side really fast whenever Barbara turns up.

in the old comics, Sometimes your future takes you down different paths and it’s sad. But a good partner supports you if they can’t come along. Say goodbyes on good terms to remain distant friends. It doesn’t mean everything you went through meant nothing. And that’s Kori and Dick’s ending (I’ve had friendships and relationships end like this). Anyway, they instead make out like it meant nothing in modern comics and media. Not every relationship has to end tragically or be reduced to a waste of time that readers shouldn’t of bothered investing in (shippers shouldn’t write for any actual comics and dc media and just do what makes sense for a character or they end up like those fanfics where Kori ends up being OoC to where they want you to dislike her and prefer this random new girl oc who just popped up out of nowhere. Speaking of, I wanna see a smooth transition of Dick and Kori breaking up and then 6 months later Barbara and Dick happens. Have Barbara and him be friends who spend more time together. No romantic feelings at first cuz both are still overcoming their exes mentally. Sure they can find each other attractive cuz they both are hot. But have nothing happen until months later. But that’d require some actual effort. :)

[taenys]

two guys making me cry today. we love to see it!!!

guy 1 ghosting me for a week, ignoring all my “i miss you” texts and random daily update texts, lovey dovey “hope you’re okay” texts because i was worried something happened to him, just straight up silent treatment to my constant begging of attention lol and then seeing his ex posting a story with him on a hike today really sent me over the edge.

and then he had the audacity to finally text me back like nothing happened. not an ounce of affection in said texts. when i made an offhand, joking (slightly bitter, i suppose) comment that he should add the selfie he sent me (from said hike with his ex) to his dating profile because it’s really good, he threw a fit. asking if i was friendzoning him and why I would say that, why i would be encouraging him to get more dates 💀 MY GUY!!!! you’ve ignored every single romantic text and selfie i’ve sent all week, have made zero indication that you even want to see me or like me at all, and chose to hangout with your ex instead of IDK??? ME?????

it was a huge fucking reality check to realize, damn, this dude really ain’t into me at all. he doesn’t text me back ever, and would rather spend his weekends with his ex and not me, cool. if anyone has friendzoned me it’s fucking YOU!!! i didn’t say all that, but i wanted to. instead i just apologized for making him feel weird with my joke comment and he never replied. back to being ghosted. well, good news is this time i’ll let him ghost me. i won’t fight it lmao bye you dick!!!

and then we have guy number 2. last weekend he texted me at 2 am and asked if he could come over because he was already in my town visiting a friend earlier! how coincidental! my town which is an hour away from portland where he lives, and the middle of nowhere! i realize now how silly it was that i didn’t question who this “friend” was that he has in my town that he’s never mentioned before (not once did he ever say “oh, i have a friend who lives there! i go there all the time!” when we matched…oof). anyway, i let him come over and smash for the first time. and spend the night. and we had a super lovey day date in my little town the next morning. i even took him to my library. it was so nice. i couldn’t wait to do it again.

cue tonight. i’m already sad and upset from the mini fight with guy 1 (who i’ve already decided i don’t want to continue seeing) so when i got a 1am text from this guy saying “surprise! i’m in your town again!” idk what compelled me to jokingly ask if he had another girl he was dating in my town lol. but i did. and he answered honestly. yeah, he does. he just got done with a date. and it “didn’t go well.” i just made a joke about how he’s attracting girls from my tiny town, wow! shrug emoji from him. i then wonder if he’s going to dare ask to come over now that i know he was with another girl.

“i was gonna ask if i could come over but i don’t feel good about it. like i don’t want you to feel like i’m using you” WELL I’M GLAD YOU REALIZE HOW SHITTY THAT WOULD BE FOR ME. jesus. if i’d known that last time i would not have let him come over, fuck. i tell him plainly that i don’t feel great about being his fucking 1am post-date booty call to be fucking honest. he tells me that my feelings are valid and that “i didn’t wanna have sex, just thought it’d be nice to see you” but that he understands why i would think that. at this point im crying in my bed lol. i tell him that as much as i would love his company because it’s been a rough weekend (with cats being sick), knowing that he didn’t drive all this way just to see me, but to see another girl, and that i’m just a second stop, will make me feel sad. he says he’s sorry. i say it’s fine. whatever.

now i’m crying again. this shit with guy 2 hurts worse. i WAS used that first time. even if unintentionally. he’d come all this way to see another girl. he’d never offered to come see me in the month we’ve been talking. he drove the distance for her though. and then was like “i guess i can fuck krystal while i’m here”

i don’t deserve this shit. jesus fucking christ. i’m a hopeless romantic stuck in this hellish modern dating world. and i want OUT!!!!!

[pprodsuga]

i was in a very bad place mentally and i so happened to date a guy for the first time ever in the middle of it all- sweet boy but it got too much for me so i broke up with him and it's been like 3 years since then he has had a girlfriend for like a year now and he is happy (im so glad he deserves it! ) and im here miserable and every guy after him was just a dick, nothing worth my while, and all this makes me question... what if i lost my chance at love?

#timetovent

hi hi - you do things for a reason, even if it seems like it’s all for naught at the time. i truly believe that everything we experience is meant to guide us for a greater purpose in life and that we’re supposed to learn from hardship and happenstance.

with that being said, i also believe that comparison is the thief of joy. i’m glad that you have no hard feelings towards your ex. i always tell my friends that after a long/intense relationship, one needs to spend time by themselves to get reacquainted with who they are as an individual without the label of a significant other. perhaps where you are in life and where he is was meant to be for reasons unknown at this point in time.

we have so much to learn and experience. love is a fickle thing and we often find ourselves thinking we don’t deserve true love because it’s selfish and narcissistic. but love is all around us, it’s in friends and family and your daily routine. love is with you and it will present itself romantically when you stop chasing after it (or so i think through my own experiences).

edit: just wanted to come back here and reaffirm that you are worth every ounce of happiness and love, okay? don’t ever forget that because there will always be someone (me) who thinks you deserve all of that mushy & cliche things.

[gayerthanevertbh]

labyrinth: 3

warnings: minors dni, masturbation, dirty talk, degradation (slight?), sexting (slight), minor fighting, slight angst.

summary: your sister cheated on her wife, so the broken wife takes an interest in you instead. was everything just a rebound between the two of you? or is there something more?

notes: this is very short since i’m out of my writers block, so please bear with me for now. the next chapter will be longer and more interesting, as i hope. enjoy!

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“Do you want to buy a box of Canada Dry?” Wanda asked, lifting a box of Canada Dry cans. “We got rootbeer at home, but you like ginger ale, right?”

“I guess so,” I sighed, pressing my thumb and forefinger together. I'm not sure why I felt so anxious. It was mostly because I felt guilty, disgusted, and like a jerk. I've never liked feeling that way, but I am, and it hurts. “Could you get some gummies, please? My friends and I plan to go out tonight.”

“Where exactly?”

“Don’t know,” I murmured, walking back to the aisle I was in; she was following me. My friends were a bad influence on me, but I had a reason to hang out with them. It's mostly because I felt lonely and needed a social life, which is probably a reasonable explanation. I looked around to see if any tissues were left, but the left side rack was empty. Why did this grocery store look so gloomy? “Do you know where I can get some paper towels?”

“I don’t think they sell that here, Y/n.”

"But they're paper towels," I pointed out. Well, they’re incredibly ridiculous if they don’t sell paper towels. "This store is strange. Can we go somewhere else?”

My sister sighed defectively and walked to the checkout line, where we saw Natasha standing at the front door, talking to a girl. Wanda and my footsteps came to a halt. What is she doing here? I thought. Is she stalking me? No, that’s impossible! Why would she be following you? You’re crazy. But maybe I'm crazy. Perhaps delusional. Natasha smiled as she approached her soon-to-be ex-wife, not giving me the slightest attention I needed.

“What are you doing here?” asked Natasha with a pondering voice. She looked at Wanda’s cart and formed an “O” on her lips. “You’re buying groceries? Here?”

“The market is crowded,” Wanda explained exasperatedly, itching to leave her presence. She was full of guilt. “Listen, maybe we shouldn’t talk here–”

“Why? Are you embarrassed by your sister?" She chuckles, wrapping her arms tightly around herself. It was up to me to feel guilty. I felt like I would puke whenever they had a strained conversation. She looked at me for a split second before returning her gaze to Wanda.

“It’s not about that, Nat.”

“Then you wouldn’t be afraid to talk to me, right?”

The tension was getting worse; I was going to be sick.

“How are you, Y/n?” she asked me, her eyes finally staring at mine. I took a deep breath and answered her quietly: “I’m doing good, how about you?”

“Peachy if you asked me.”

Wanda sighed through her nostrils, mumbling to her wife. “Can you please not do this here? It’s better if we talked outside.”

Natasha looked at her wife for one last time before saying, “I’m going ahead; you can have fun fucking other men.” before Wanda could even apologize, the woman strutted out as the door dinged loudly when it closed. I looked at her for a split second before walking away because I was embarrassed to look at her. I was ashamed and enraged that I had slept with her wife.

And I, my friends, was the issue.

Natasha lets out a quiet grumble as she pumps herself faster, trying to catch her release. Nothing has ever turned her on; even a pornographic video wouldn't make her dick hard. Call her a disgusting pervert; she has been thinking about her wife’s sister instead of the woman she loves.

Well, used to love.

Her appendage grew harder from the thought, and she couldn't help but moan in her bedroom as images of Y/n flashed through her mind, almost vividly. The older woman licks her lips hungrily – furiously jerking herself off.

“Suck it,” she commanded as I looked up at her with teary eyes. Her voice was soft and soothing, if that's the best way to put it. "Hurry up, baby. I’m so hard for you.”

"B-But—" Before I could even say anything, the tip of her cock slipped into my mouth as she threw her head back to enjoy the sensation of my mouth. She couldn't get enough. She grips my ponytail and pushes my head slowly, watching intensely at her length disappearing within my lips.

“You’re such a whore, aren’t you, sweetheart?” she chuckles deeply as her buttcheeks clench with my saliva coating her dick. “Keep going for Daddy, be a good little girl for me.”

Her hips start to thrust back and forth, imagining that my mouth was my cunt instead. Although she prefers my mouth more since she once mentioned that I could do anything with my tongue and my pussy could never do the same. She whispered darkly, “Too big, huh?”

I nodded, whimpering as her dick pushed deeper into my throat.

“You’re my little slut, my sweet tiny whore,” she sighs blissfully and grabs the base of her cock and pumping it slowly. “Oh, your mouth feels so fucking good… you’re my little virgin, right? God, your mouth is a virgin for me.”

Natasha closes her eyes, reaches for her tip, and squeezes it, which makes her shudder. “God, you feel amazing, Y/n…”

She pulls out her cock, covered in my saliva, and says, "I'm going to cum in your slutty mouth." This makes her grin like an evil woman. She wraps her hand around her dick and starts pumping it rapidly, pulling my mouth closer as she gets closer to her climax. “Open your mouth for my cock, baby girl. G-Gonna cum right now–”

Natasha arches her back as she spills over her stomach, a thick white substance coating her skin. “Fuck–Oh god…” she sighs and spurts cum all over her abdomen, unsure when she will stop. All she could think about was Y/n submitting to her while she fucked her dumb in the bedroom she used to share with Wanda. The thought of having an infatuation with the little girl is so sinful that it makes her cock rock again just thinking about it. The woman sighed loudly and wiped her hand on her used shirt as she felt Y/n taking all her milk.

“God,” she whispers hoarsely to herself. “I’m a pervert.” but she could hardly blame herself. Y/n did submit to her – there was nothing she could do but give her the same attention; it was mutual. As she looks down at her flaccid penis, she imagines the girl being her wife instead of Wanda. Well, that is something. She pondered, making her create a small smile on her face. As soon as she was about to touch herself, her phone vibrated – making her jolt up and look at her phone, wondering who had texted her.

Y/n: can I see you tonight? I want us to talk.

Natasha had a sinister thought. What if I send her a dick picture of mine? She thought. As she swiped her phone to open her camera, she stopped. If Wanda saw the photo, everything would fall apart, making her the helpless villain. But her self-esteem was gone; she wanted to jerk herself off thinking about Y/n, who drives her insane these days. She would scream at her if her therapist found out about this incident. This was a terrible but appealing idea.

She takes a screenshot of herself holding her dick and sends it without hesitation.

Now she just has to wait.

After what seemed like hours, the girl replied.

Y/n: your cock is really big…

Natasha chuckles to herself and gently touches her penis, tilting her head slightly. Her cock twitches in her hand as she quickly types on her screen and sends a small message.

Natasha: Show me your tits.

Y/n: wanda is downstairs. i can’t.

Natasha: I want to see your tits. Make my cock hard, baby.

She waited for two minutes and received a photo from the girl. Y/n was pressing her breasts together, creating cleavage. Her dick got harder from the image, and she quickly saved it in her gallery. I’ll feel guilty later.

Natasha: Fuuuck… Mmm, wanna cum all over that titty of yours.

Y/n: finish yourself off, tasha. ‘m with wanda right now :(

Natasha: Go to your room and make Daddy feel good.

Y/n: tasha…

Natasha throws her phone on the mattress and jerks herself off again, fapping and slapping, filling her bedroom as she closes her eyes tightly. She imagines Y/n in her bed with her legs pried open and her mouth. The things she could do to her make her crazy – insane almost. She reaches the base of her cock and thrusts slowly in the air, hoping to find her fleshlight to finish the job. But the woman couldn't get up; she couldn't get enough of the young girl's mouth and cunt. As she approaches her climax, she pulls out her phone and searches for a photo of Y/n to coat her cum on. She eventually came hard, and her cum was all over the screen of her phone.

She proudly smiled to herself, knowing that her little girl would always be a slut for her.

She became desperate, wanting more of the girl until her last breath; she was in love, deeply in love with Y/n.

Maybe not her, but the body that she had.

oof what an ass she is

[lovelybunn]

𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐇 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦.

warning(s): swearing, mentions of depression

author's note: I DONT HAVE FAVORITES I PROMISE this is a high-school au bc i'm trying to cope with it (even though i've only been there for a few weeks lmao)

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐒𝐇.

“ 𝐇𝐄𝐘, 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍! 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓'𝐒 𝐀 𝐂𝐔𝐓𝐄 sweater you got there, bud! ” you give the boy a small smile. he frowns and looks around, pointing at himself. “ yes you, silly. who else in the class is named stanley? ” you giggle, stan glances away in embarrassment, “ o-oh. thanks, i guess. ” he sits down with a bit more force than he expects, causing him to cuss under his breath.

“ what’s wrong? ” you ask with genuine concern. without making eye contact with you, stan replies, “ nothing. just kinda stunned. ” as if just now realizing what he said, his eyes suddenly widen. his cheeks flare up, “ oh shit– i mean, tired. yeah, that's what i meant, not stunned. why would i be stunned? ” your worried face slowly melted into a teasing snicker. “ you're funny, stan marsh. ” with his face even more red that it originally was, he stammers, “ what are you talking about?! what's so funny, huh?! ”

ㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

manz doesn't know how to take a compliment tbh

he has a very low self esteem (bc of his depression), so he'll take anything he can get. beggars can't be choosers, right?

when he does get complimented, stan almost always gets all red and shit and it's so precioussss

he doesn't usually reply with some kind of counter compliment bc he sucks at talking to ppl :(

but the good thing is that he always repays you back in some way for the simple act of kindness to him of all ppl. you know that meme/phrase where its like “ *character* will remember that ”? yeah, that's stan marsh.

he doesn't automatically register when someone is speaking to him, so you prob will have to repeat yourself multiple times before he realizes that your even there lmao

ㅤ

ㅤ

𝐊𝐘𝐋𝐄 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐒𝐊𝐈.

𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐄, 𝐊𝐘𝐋𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐒 to leave his hair down for school, and to be honest, you think his natural curls are gorgeous. you grin and wave at the ginger as he walks into class, placing his things down. “ sup, kyle! seems you know how to take very good care of that mane of yours, don't you? ” with pursed lips, he raises a brow inquisitively at you. “ hm? what's that's supposed to mean? ” your grin grows wider. “ it means i think your hair looks sick, man. ” kyle's screwed up expression slowly melts into slight shock. his face flushes into a deep red against his scattered freckles, “ aw, thank you. ” kyle smiles goofyily.

ㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

kyle doesnt expect kindness/flattery to ever be targeted towards him, mainly bc his friends are kinda dicks (AHEM CARTMAN AHEM)

but when he does get this kind of treatment, he's pleasantly surprised. especially when he's at his at most limit (which is pretty frequent), being able to hear that little positive thing said about him will help kyle rest peacefully for the rest of the day.

don't worry though, a genuine nice response will almost always come in exchange. (unless the poor boy is having a really bad day, then he'll prob just act like you simply don't exist)

kyle is very good at nick-picking certain specific quirks, behaviors, and traits of the ppl he adores. like with his baby brother ike, just one little head jerk or hand movement from ike, and kyle will instantly know exactly how his baby brother is feeling.

so, in relation to you complimenting him, he now is, of course, fond of you. (ex. your eyes look a little droopy one day at school? “ hey, (name), i brought some coffee in my bag, you can have some if you want. ”)

overall a sweet boy w/ anger issues but we don't talk about that :)))))))))))))))))))))))

ㅤ

ㅤ

𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐂 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐌𝐀𝐍.

“ 𝐘'𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖, 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐁𝐄𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀 𝐃𝐈𝐂𝐊, you're actually a pretty cool dude, cartman. ” you exclaim dryly, making little doodles on the assignment you presumably are supposed to actually be doing. he slowly turns his head to face behind him. a large scowl plasters on eric's expression. “ i'm cool all the time, motherfucker. ” you roll your eyes dismissively, “ the entire campus would beg to differ. ” he opens his mouth to respond with some sort of snarky remark, but he changes his mind and turns around in defiance. cartman laughs proudly. “ you're just extremely jealous that you'll never be as cool as me. ” you sigh and mutter, “ keep telling yourself that. whatever helps you cope, i guess. ”

ㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

boy thinks that's his birthright to have everyone within his vicinity praise him in some way bc his name is eric theodore cartman

but deep down this boy hates himself with a burning passion, like all narcissists lmao

two words, backhanded compliments.

well, unless he doesn't like you/thinks your ugly af or sumn, then he'll be like “ yeah, i know. couldn't say the same for you, though. ”

but i'll be honest with ya'll, if he even moderately likes you in any way, that one compliment will cause him to attach to you until you have to literally force him to back off. (ex. imagine his relationship w/ butters)

the only plus to that is cartman will be a little bit nicer to you than he usually is. “ hey bitch (affectionate)! ”

ㅤ

ㅤ

𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐍𝐘 𝐌𝐂𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐊.

𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐇 and it's kenny's turn to read a section of the excerpt the class is assigned. none of his three best friends have this class with him, so he's practically mute for most of the period. you never hear his voice other than a few “ hey ”s, “ mhm ”s, and “ what ”s, so a tiny part of you is lowkey excited to be able to hear the orange hooded boy speak a full few sentences for the first time. he isn't the fastest reader in the class, and definitely not one of the loudest, but something about his soft tone relaxes you. kenny's voice is strangely soothing. after he finishes, you decide to point it out.

you tap on his desk to get his attention, “ wow, i didn’t know you sounded like that, kenny. ” since you didn't elaborate, he stares at you with a blank expression in his big baby blue eyes. he slowly squints at you, silently asking for an explanation. you chuckle, “ i think your voice sounds nice, mate. you should run an asmr channel or something. ” kenny's eyes avert from left to right for two rounds before he becomes a popped bubble full of agressive cackles. the entire class stop whatever they're doing to figure what's going on, but you just give kenny a huge toothy smile.

ㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

bruv will never take compliments seriously, like he legitimately thinks your joking.

but he'll still flash his pretty crooked whites at you, and nod his head like a child that just got asked if they want a cookie (pls he's baby <33333)

most of the time kenny's eyes are dull bc he's depressed, but when he's really happy, they'll sparkle, like a lot. remember that.

small talk isn't kenny's thing so after you say whatever you wanted to say he'll prob instantly go back to blocking you out like what he does to his parents when they fight

but after a while of processing what you said, he's truly touched, sometimes he'll even tell karen about how much you made his day with that little comment alone

here's a plus, if kenny thinks your cute enough, he'll start lowkey flirting with you, complimenting you over literally everything you do (sometimes he's a lot more straightforward, but he tries to keep it as discreet as possible)

[sunandmhoon]

ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: fluff, bestfriends-to-lovers ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: BFF!Heeseung X F!reader ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: when searching for love in a seemingly dark place, maybe all you needed to do was open your eyes.  ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ: very all over the place as well. Not proofread :) A/N: I was clearing out my drafts and I found this one, I hope u like it :) ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 1.1kctto of the pics I used

KISS ME, BABY [L.HS]

You would have to be one of the most annoying, obnoxious people in the world to get through Heeseung’s strong patience. Yet here you are, making him lose his head with how oblivious you are. 

“Is this how it’s going to be forever, Hee?” 

He turned to you, surprised by the melancholy tone in your voice. He watched as you traced the stars with your eyes, following each twinkle on the black sky. Eyes lined with the thinnest layer of tears, but he still notices. He doesn’t say anything, quietly urging you to go on with your statement, and you do.

“Will I be lonely and heartbroken forever?” you continued, “I really tried to keep him this time, Hee, I really did. I held onto him so tightly, but why did HE let go?” the bitterness in your mind had turned what was meant to be a sob into a dry laugh. He didn’t know which one he preferred over the other, but it was not a sound he liked hearing from you. 

“He was a dick,” he finally spoke up, “just like the other guys you were seeing,” his mind getting irritated with the thoughts of all your ex boyfriends and how they couldn’t treat you right. “But just because you don’t have the best taste in finding guys, doesn’t mean you don’t deserve love.” you turned your attention from the stars in the sky to the stars in his eyes. The black of his pupils mirroring the black of the night sky; the twinkle within them rivaling those in space. 

“Then where?” you sighed, “where am I supposed to find the person who can give me the love I deserve? It’s not like he’ll fall out of the sky,” at that he looked away from you and laughed, but there was something off about it. A slight frown in his smile. “What?”

“Huh?” he asked, but it was almost a statement, not a question, “nothing.” It was his turn to look at the stars, counting each one to distract himself from the slight pang in his chest. “It’s just– you seem to be living your life with your eyes closed.” as if to prove his point, his doe eyes closed. He seemed as though he was relaxed, however you were not.

“What do you mean, Heeseung?” slightly offended, you raised yourself from the blanket on the ground to glare at your best friend. 

“You’re obviously very blind to what’s happening in front of you–what’s been happening in front of you, for the past three years.” 

“I still don’t get what you mean,” you were starting to get exasperated, “get to the point.”

“What I’m saying is,” he sat up, looking into your eyes, “you can’t seem to see that the person who deserves you has been around you the whole time.”

You scoff, “and who could that be?” the genuine question in your voice and confusion in your eyes threatened his long patience. How could someone so smart and empathetic, not observe or feel what he was feeling right now. His pondering seemed to linger for a while because you suddenly snapped up, “who could possibly give me the love I need, Hee?”

“Me.”

One word, one syllable, two letters; One word to make an entire park silent, One syllable to make five seconds feel like five hours, Two letters to make Heeseung want to bury himself to the ground. But he’d already said it. There was no going back, it wasn’t like he was lying but the silence from your part was awkward, intimidating, scary. 

“I’m the one who can love you,” He spoke softly, almost as if you’d run away if he spoke any louder, “I’ve been in love with you since the moment we met, and It might sound crazy to say that because how can you be in love with a stranger, you know?” he rambled, your shock making him panic. “I only thought it was a crush that would go away with time, but as I watched you go out with absolute douchebags–who I already warned you about by the way– I couldn’t help but be sad and upset. And everyone seemed to notice except you.” he took a deep breath, waiting for your response, but it was still silent on your end. “C’mon, can’t you say something?”

You don’t know if it was the moment, or it was the words he was saying, or was it the way front strands of his hair seemed to be untameable yet perfectly styled in front of the eyes that drowned in concern and a hint of something else, but it made you see him under a different light. A light that you can’t see with your other close friends, a light that you can’t see even with your exes. It was different, a brighter, comforter light. It scared you, but like a moth, you were attracted to it.

“Look Hee,” you started, “I never knew you felt that way, and to be honest, deep inside I think I’ve been feeling the same way too.” you watched as his eyes grew bright from his hope, “and sure, it might risk our friendship, but I want to try,” you moved closer to him taking his hand in yours, “with you.”

His body felt like it was on fire, his hand was melting as you took it in yours. He doesn’t feel like he’s alive but at the same time he feels the most alive he’s ever been. “You’re a dream, Y/n. you don’t know how much you mean to me, and how happy I am to hear you say that.” his cheeks felt like they were about to rip from his face with how happy he was, but he didnt care. You loved when he smiled, he knew because everytime he did, your eyes would shine a little bit more than they usually did. And now that you were smiling at him with your shiny eyes, he didn’t care about a cramped face 

He could continue staring at your face forever and ever, especially now that he had given you the confirmation to do so. But your lips were right there and the adrenaline had come too quickly to his bones to stop him from grabbing your face in his hands. It was only when a small giggle from your lips had frozen him. Sobering him from the love-daze he had been in. 

His face was hairs away from yours. You could feel his nose on yours and his warm breath on your lips. Your eyes were closed, ready for the impact that was his lips but it never came. When you had opened your eyes, you’d come face to face with his doe ones just watching you, staring at you, taking you in. the fondness in his eyes had turned you red, never feeling a love like this before.

“What are you doing, dummy?” you whispered, looking back and forth between his loving eyes and soft lips, “kiss me, baby.” 

[archivxx]

✯[0.04]✯

Previous || Next

Note: my friends will find out and they will most likely hate me. For some reason, I don’t blame them.

“Is it a prank? It has to be a prank. Am I on national television? Where are the hidden cameras? How do I look?”

“It’s not a prank. There are no cameras.” You adjusted the strap of your bag on your shoulder and stepped to the side to avoid being ran over by an electric scooter. “But now that you mention it, you look great—especially for this hour.”

Nichole didn’t blush, but it was a close thing. “Last night I did one of those masks that you and Craig got me for my birthday. That one that looks like a panda? I also got a new sunscreen that’s supposed to give you a bit if a glow. And I put on mascara,” she added under her breath.

You could ask her why she’d gone the extra mile to look fabulous on a run-of-the-mill Tuesday morning but you already knew: obviously Tolkien would be here today therefore she would be seeing him.

You hid a smile. As weird as the idea of your best friend dating your ex sounded, you were glad that she allowed herself to consider Tolkien romantically. Mostly, it was nice to know the indignity you’d put yourself through with Donovan on The Night was paying off. That, all together, with Pete’s very promising potential business offer had you thinking things might be finally looking up.

“Okay.” Nichole chewed on her lower lip, deep in concentration. “So it’s not a prank. Which means that there must be another explanation. Let me find it.”

“There is no other explanation to be found. We just—”

“Oh my God. Are you trying to get citizenship? Are they deporting you back to Canada because we’ve been sharing Kyle’s Netflix password? Tell them we didn’t know it was a federal crime. No wait, don’t tell them anything, we’ll get you a lawyer. And, Y/N I will marry you. I’ll get you a green card and you won’t have to—”

“Nichole.” You squeezed your friends had tighter to get her to shut up for a second. “I promise you, I’m not getting deported. I just went on a single date with Donovan.”

Nichole scrunched up her face and dragged you to a bench. She forced you to sit down. You complied, telling yourself that had the roles been reversed you would have absolutely had the same reaction. Hell, if you had caught Nichole kissing Donovan you would have enlisted her for full-blown psychiatric help.

“Listen,” Nichole started, “do you remember last spring, after the album release party, when I held your hair back while your projectile vomited the five pounds worth of spoiled meat?”

“Yeah. I do.” You cocked you head, pensive. “You ate more then me and never got sick.”

“Because I’m made of sterner stuff, but never mind that. The point is; I am here for you, always will be. No matter what. No matter how many pounds of spoiled meat you projectile vomit, you can trust me. We’re a team, you and I. And Craig when he’s not pissing off the population. So if Donovan is secretly a extraterrestrial life-form planning on taking over the Earth that will ultimately result in humanity being enslaved by evil overlords who look like cicadas, and the only way to stop him is dating him, you can tell me and I’ll inform NASA—”

“For god sakes.” —you had to laugh—“it was just a date!”

Nichole looked pained. “I just don’t understand.”

Because it doesn’t make sense. “I know, but there’s nothing to understand. It’s just…We went on a date.”

“But…why? N/N, you’re beautiful and smart and funny and have excellent taste in clothes, why would you go out with Clyde Donovan?”

You scrunched your nose. “Because he is…” It cost you, to say the word. Oh it cost you. But you had to. “Nice.”

“Nice?” Her eyebrows shot so high they almost got lost in her hairline.

She does look extra cute today, you reflected. Pleased.

“Clyde “Dick” Donovan?”

“Well yeah. He is…” you looked around, as if help could come from the bushes or the people rushing by on their ways to work. When it didn’t seem forthcoming you finished, lamely. “He’s a nice asshole I guess.”

Nichole’s expression went straight up disbelieving. “Okay so you went from dating someone as cool as Tolkien to going out with Clyde Donovan.”

Prefect. This was exactly the opening you had wanted “I did. And happily, because I never cared that much about Tolkien.” Finally, some truth in this conversation. “It wasn’t that hard to move on. Honestly. Which is why—please, Nichole, put that boy out of his misery. He deserves it, and above all, you deserve it. I bet he’s here today, or we’ll I know he is.” You gestured to the building. “You should ask him to accompany you to coffee when he’s done with the other business meeting and to horror movie festivals so I don’t have to sleep with the lights on for the next six months.”

This time, Nichole was flustered. She looked down at her hands, picked at her fingernails and then she began to fiddle with the hem of her shorts before saying, “I don’t know. Maybe. I mean, if you really think that—”

The sound of an alarm went off from Nichole’s pocket, and she straightened to pull out her phone. “Shit. I’ve got a “meeting” with Stan.” she rolled her eyes. “To discuss vocals for some of the songs.” She stood up picking up her bag. “Want to get together for lunch?”

“Can’t. Already promised Kyle we’d go grocery shopping.” You smiled. “Maybe Tolkien’s free, though.”

She rolled her yes. But the corners of her mouth were curling up. It made you much more than a little happy. So happy that you didn’t even flip her off when she asked “Is he blackmailing you?”

“Huh?”

“Donovan. Is he blackmailing you? Did he find out that your an aberration and pee in the shower?”

“First of all, it’s time efficient.” You glared at her. “Second, I find it oddly flattering that you think Donovan would go to these ridiculous lengths to get me to date him.”

“Anyone would, N/N. Because your awesome.” Nichole’s grimaced before adding, “Except when you’re peeing in the shower.”

Tolkien was acting weird. Which didn’t mean much, since Tolkien had always been abit awkward. Having recently split from you to date your best friend was not going to make him any less so—but today he seemed even weirder than usual. He came into the coffee shop next door to the record company, a few hours after your conversation with Nichole. And proceeded to stare at you for two good minutes. Then three. Then five. It was more attention then he’d ever payed you—yes, including your dates.

When it got borderline ridiculous, you lifted your eyes from your laptop and waved at him. Tolkien flustered, grabbed his latte from the counter and found a table for himself. You went back to rereading your two line email for the seventieth time.

Not twenty minutes later, Tweek walked in and took a seat next to Tolkien. They immediately started whispering to each other and pointing at you. Any other day you would have been concerned and a little upset, but Pete Thelman had already answered your email, which took priority over…anything, really.

Yes! You had several days to convince him to take on your project, which was much better than the ten minutes you had originally anticipated. You fist-pumped—which lead to Tolkien and Tweek staring at you more weirdly. What was up with them, anyway? If Tolkien knew what you were doing he certainly wouldn’t be giving you that look, besides there shouldn’t be any bad blood between you and him. Did you have toothpaste of your face? Who cared? You were going to meet Pete Thelman and convince him to let the band do work with for the charity. You were going to help cancer research.

You were in an excellent mood until two hours later. When you entered the apartment and Kyle was sat on the couch. Upon hearing your entering, he paused the show he was watching and looked at you.

“You sneaky little monster.” He hissed his green eyes were almost comically narrow. “I’ve been texting you all day.”

“Oh.” You patted the pocket of your jeans then your front pocket. “I think I might of left it here today.”

“I cannot believe it.”

“Believe what?”

“I cannot believe you.”

“I don’t know what your talking about.”

“I thought we were friends.”

“We are.”

“Good friends.”

“We are. You, Nichole, and Craig are my best friends. What—”

“Clearly not if the had to hear it all from Tweek, who heard it from Bebe, who heard it from Tolkien, who heard it from Nichole—”

“Hear what?”

“—who heard it from I don’t even know who. And I thought we were friends.”

Something icy crawled it’s way up your back. Could it be…No. no, it couldn’t be. “Hear what?”

“I’m done. I’m letting the cockroach’s eat you. And I’m changing the Netflix password.”

Oh no. “Kyle, hear what?”

“That your dating Clyde Donovan.”

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