#they were abuse victims
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Honestly no. Trent is their mutual abuser. I highly doubt she'd ever want to hear his voice again. Sure, there's probably a tiny part of her ego annoyed by Trent's obsession with Bren, but ultimately, he's "the one who got away" and she's smart enough to realize Trent is a nutcase and a monster with an unhealthy obsession. Especially now that she's had almost a decade away from his abuse and influence and has had room to grow as a person away from him.
do you think astrid was a little jealous that ikithon left caleb a crazy haunted house magic mouth trap and nothing for her
#critical role#campaign 3#campaign 2#astrid becke#caleb widowgast#trent ikithon#cr spoilers#I still wish#the M9#had showed#astrid and#eadwulf grieve#more compassion#they were abuse victims#and#child soldiers#just like caleb#but unlike caleb#they never had the opportunity#to escape#they helped caleb#in c2#a lot#and the m9#were super ungrateful#and huge dicks#ngl#the mighty nein#tw abuse#child abuse
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Why the fuck isn't the fandom here talking about the fact that a third woman has come out with details about being sexually abused by Neil Gaiman. and that he has hired the same lawyer and pr firm as known rapists (Marilyn Manson, Ezra Miller, Rusell Brand, Prince Andrew to name a few...)
why aren't people speaking about it here. why is the fandom so unbothered.
this man is fucking vile. he's a rapist and an abuser. he should NOT have a platform or a career that LITERALLY gives him access to young women he can use.
#neil gaiman#since i was a child his books were heaven to me#but I will NOT fucking accept that everyone here is suddenly ignoring this#this isn't about good omens#or coraline or neverwhere or any other fucking fandom#it's about justice for the victims of his abuse
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thinking about connor in prague saying "dad's theory was you got two fighting dogs, you send the weak one away, you punish the weak one." in relation to this episode, and the way the siblings view abuse inside their own family.
shiv and kendall and their belief that connor and roman are the weak dogs that got the brunt of logan's worst behavior, because abuse is reserved for the kids who can't behave - the ones who aren't smart and mature enough to make it in the world. abuse evokes pity, because abuse is what happens when you expect too much from people who obviously aren't capable of more.
and then they go forward in life, believing that they're just naturally more intelligent and more capable than connor and roman, as if being raised seeing what happens to you if you aren't a perfect child wasn't the entire point of the "punish the weak dog" mentality that logan instilled in them. the looming threat implied behind any praise they do receive that tacitly tells them "you're not like roman and connor" because everyone knows what happens to roman and connor.
the absolute height of the rich capitalist mindset. "we're succeeding because of our own merit, and other people fail because they don't have what it takes" when in reality they're succeeding because of arbitrary rules made up by someone who knows that infighting makes meaner dogs.
#he's literally putting them in a position where admitting that he abused them#forces them to admit that they're 'weak dogs' just like roman and connor#and that's SO antithetical to their own image of themselves that it would destabilize their entire worldview to admit that#and so they're stuck in this state of being able to admit that their dad IS abusive and he IS an asshole#but are absolutely unable to view themselves as receiving of that abuse#because being abused means being a victim. and victims are weak people who get fucked over.#and if they're weak people than how are they ever going to beat their dad?#they're so wrapped up in the worldview logan raised them in that they're completely unable to see#that he's set them up in a game they can't win#you can't heal from abuse if you can't admit that the things that happened to you were abuse in the first place#succession#also you may be asking 'vinnie didn't you make a post just like this last night'#and the answer is yes. but i'm still thinking about it. so.
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We need to remember that Shubble stated that Wilbur would manipulate and gaslight friends and family. With this, we must be patient with streamers that were close to Wilbur. This was likely surprising and shocking for them. They may need time to come to terms with what has happened.
I have been vocal about how important it is for men to be critical about abusive behaviors. However, Wilbur had many close friends—some would even consider him family—and now they may feel they hardly knew him at all.
There is a deep stress felt by viewers. It is difficult to think we have given any amount of time or money to an abuser. Could you imagine a close friend right now? The pain and betrayal must sear. They need time to understand what has happened and come to terms with it. Many of them may not be live in the coming days (weeks even).
That being said, as time passes, criticism may be necessary. Complacency is not an option. Men that are willing to ignore abuse to protect an abuser are just as pathetic as the abusers themselves.
Let's give this situation time to breathe. I ask that we give patience and courtesy to those close to Wilbur at this time. But please do not forget that this happened. There may be a few streamers hoping to lay low and then drop a collab in a few months. Do not let them. This is too important.
#for now#the best thing we can do is spread awareness about abuse and offer support to domestic violence victims#i also want to add#that any previous art made about him was made with pure intentions#obviously its up to each individual to decide where the line is#but maybe lets not support him monetarily moving forward#that seems to be the move#anyway#please be kind to each other and give each other space#especially domestic violence survivors that may be here with us#and those who may have realized they were/are abused from shubbles story#i want to offer her and everyone around as much support as i can#if any domestic violence survivers have any stories they want to share#my dms and askbox are open#if anyone suspects that someone in their life may be abusing someone#this offer is open to you too#we need to talk about this#thoughts of dante#wilbur soot#shubble#im tagging this under shubble even though the post isnt really about her but i want the tags of this post to reach#whoever needs to read them
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"A normal person never would have fallen for Bill's manipulation"
Can this fandom stop victim blaming Ford for FIVE SECONDS?!?!?!
#BILL CIPHER IS A MASTER MANIPULATOR YOU MEDIA ILLITERATE ASSHOLES#ford pines#stanford pines#grunkle ford#abuse tw#gravity falls#victim blaming tw#also it's canon that a LOT of people throughout history were manipulated by bill#bill cipher#fandumb#filthy ford apologist squad#ford protection suad#ford defense squad
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the worst parent poll made me realize just how many ppl in the fandom are willing to jump straight into abuse apologia. bc on one hand you have ppl dumbing down crow's abuse to "him just being mean" and on the other end you have ppl saying that curlfeather didnt abuse frostpaw because she sacrificed herself and frost + her siblings love her so she couldnt possibly be an abuser. truly mindboggling stuff take these serious topics away from the fandom asap.
Part of me feels like it's because many in this fandom have a feeling that if a character's actions are abusive, it means you're "not allowed" to like them. Like there's an impulse where if you liked a character, it MUST mean they weren't THAT bad, because you'd personally never like "an abuser."
As if it reflects poorly on your own morality, as a person, that you connected with An Abuser. Understood them, even. Even if it was just a character.
If it's immoral to Like Abusive Characters, of course your reaction is going to end up being abuse apologia. To enjoy something isn't logical, it's emotional, so you will get defensive about it when questioned. When you do, it's not going to be based on logic because you didn't reason yourself into that position in the first place. It's an attack on you as a person.
I feel like that's often the root of abuse apologia in this fandom, and sometimes the world at large; "If I admit that this character/person IS abusive, it means I was doing something bad by liking them, so I have to prove to everyone else that they weren't or it means I'm bad too."
And to that I say... That's a BAD impulse! Grow up and admit you resonated with a character that did a bad thing! If that's an uncomfortable thought, sit with it!
Sometimes abusers are likeable! They usually DO think they're justified in their actions, or doing it for "a good reason," or were just too preoccupied to care. MOST of the time, people who commit abusive actions are also hurt or traumatized in some way. You might even empathize with them. None of this means their actions have to be excused or downplayed.
"Abusers" aren't a type of goddamn yokai, they're people just like you and me. You don't help victims of abuse by putting the people who hurt us in an "untouchable" category.
In fact, all it does is make you less likely to recognize your own controlling behavior. You're capable of abuse. People you love are capable of it, too. People who love YOU can still hurt you.
In spite of how often people regurgitate "It's Ok To Like A Character As Long As You're Critical Of Their Actions," every day it is proven to me further and further that no one who says it actually understands what that means.
All that said; I think it's no contest which one's a worse parent, imo.
They both mistreated their children, but Curlfeather did it through manipulation without verbal or physical abuse. She politically groomed her into a position of power so that she could use her as a pawn. It can be argued if this counts as child abuse-- but it's firmly still under the broad category childhood maltreatment, which is damaging.
(though anon I'm with you 100% at seeing RED when "but she sacrificed herself" is used as an excuse. Curlfeather's death does NOT CHANGE what she did to Frostpaw in life. I think it's a valid point to bring up when comparing her to another terrible parent for judgement purposes, such as in the context of this poll, but I really hate the implication that redemption deaths "make up" for maltreatment.)
Crowfeather, meanwhile, is textually responsible for putting Breezepaw through verbal AND physical abuse, as well as child neglect. His motivations include embarrassment from a hurt ego, revenge on his ex, and being sad because of a dead girlfriend. This abuse drives Breezepelt towards radicalization in the Dark Forest.
You could argue Curlfeather is a worse person for Reedwhisker's murder, but as a parent? It's not even a question to me. Crowfeather's one of the worst dads in WC.
#Recently I've been reading a book on verbal abuse by Patricia Evans#And something I really appreciate about it is the way that it explains the way that abusive people *think*#The way that victim and abuser typically have a WILDLY different view of the world#The most important thing about this book though it how much it stresses that *these impulses are still human*#They play these power games to keep a sense of control in their relationship. It feels GOOD to hurt and dominate their partner.#And even when it describes the worst of humanity and the behaviors that escalate into physical violence--#--the book keeps in mind that anyone could change. But not everyone will. And it is NOT your responsibility as a victim to change them.#Reading it is painful but also very validating.#I wish I'd heard of it several years ago when I was first leaving that relationship lmao#but. How do you reconcile it when one of the most traumatic experiences of your life was an act of love in their eyes?#When it *wasn't* part of a game to hurt you but something they legitimately did in the thought they were protecting you.#You don't even get the satisfaction of having it just be nice and simple. That it was bad and we allll agree it was bad.#Frostie girlie you and me are going out to Carvel's and I'm buying us both a milkshake#warrior cats analysis#child abuse
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Katara playfully splashes water at Aang, who responded by sulking in a brooding cave and then exploding lava in her face and storming off without any apology. From The Lost Adventures.
Golly gee why don't I want to ship such a wholesome wonderful healthy ship like this? Gee whiz, it's great Katara didn't end with Zuko, otherwise she might get lava thrown at her in an argument from an immature, emotionally unavailable, abusive jerk! /s Oh, right, Aang is the one who did that.
Aang has always been the one to hurt Katara. Funny Zuko hasn't. Remind me again who scarred Katara's hands, who blew up into the avatar state leaving Katara to pull him out lest he destroy her, her brother, and everything around him? Who stormed off right before the finale without communication leaving his friends to die in the invasion? Was it Zuko who did those things? Was it?
Such a wholesome ship!
#anti kataang#atla comics#zutara#in a bad mood now that i had to look these pages up for someone's ask and be reminded how atrocious they were#anti aang#just a cute cuddly twelve year old huh?#he's an abuser and an asshole#this is not how conflict resolution works#he just storms off and won't communicate#he gets mad at her lashes out and acts like he is the victim#i hate this so much#i would dump any guy who acted this way and i am infuriated that this was katara's fate in canon#the discourse
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Honestly shoutout to Steven Universe for the representation of malachite and abusive relationships because it holds up really well and is still like one of the only abuse narratives I’ve seen that portrays how like. Abusive relationships aren’t as simple as “evil abusive person was constantly Mean and Bad to nice victim” like. Lapis is a realistic victim. She refused to leave the relationship because she longed to have connection with someone and she liked feeling as though she could have control for once, even though she really didn’t. She wasn’t nice and innocent, she felt anger and resentment and liked taking it out on Jasper. And despite how horrible it was, she deeply misses Jasper because it was the longest and deepest relationship she’s ever had with anyone and she didn’t know how to function without it
But Lapis is still a victim and we’re meant to care for her and understand where she comes from. She chose to stay with Jasper to keep others safe from her harm, and because she thought she herself deserved the abuse as a way of making up for everything bad she’s done. Jasper reminds Lapis over and over that she is a monster and that’s why they should be together, because Jasper is the only one who understands her. And when Lapis finally rejects their relationship, she mostly states it through what she herself felt and has done, saying that she didn’t like the person she became in that relationship and she never wants to feel like that ever again. It’s messy and complicated, just like how actual abuse is
Anyways yeah talk about a very good abuse narrative thanks steven universe
#steven universe#tw abuse#yeah im rewatching the show and im re remembering that im a lapis stan#the people who hated her were just really mad that she wasnt a perfect victim and its like yeah duh thats the point#shes been through a lot of trauma and does whatever she can to survive and sometimes its fucked up#but after all that she still deserves to be safe and to be loved and to be free because shes a person whos trying to better herself and heal#also its fucked that su is probably like one of the only things ive watched that portrays imperfect victims so well#which is crazy given how its the sparkly rock show for kids
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it is always nice to find another abuse survivor who also felt like ford's story resonated with them. it's nice to feel like there's other people who know what I'm talking about
#so it's not like I'm talking to some brick wall or something lol#I feel like psychological abuse gets downplayed a bit but man it really fucked me up#psychological abuse is like a domino effect. you are conditioned to do one thing that gets carried over to the next abusive situation#and that gets you conditioned to accept another hurtful thing etc etc#and then it stacks up and you end up where you are. it's why abuse victims are seemingly magnetic to abusive situations.#because they were abused in the past#though this is also just me explaining complex post traumatic stress disorder
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I’ve never felt so conflicted about a franchise in my life but at least this dude was hot
#I watched conquering the demons and demons strike back at 3am last night and I have to say I like the first one more#but not by a lot#like I wanted so much to like this movie#but fucking Duan man…#like I read the plot beforehand so I wouldn’t be caught off guard by anything but DAMN that SA scene was sooo much worse watching it#girl this is not the girlboss pussy slay move you think it is queen#I liked her character so much too before that cuz she’s so cool but the unconsented captive fuck or die foreplay was NOT the move#then she had the nerve to rip up sanzang’s book and turn to us and be like you know what I think I still have a chance - GIRL HES RUNNING#then they had the nerve to make him fall in love with her anyway boy you a VICTIM#then the second one just had [redacted] in it and I did not enjoy looking at his face for two hours - ruined the whole experience#also I have to say that was the worst iteration of Sanzang I’ve ever seen I was actually happy when I thought wukong was boutta kill him#I talk all this shit but I really did like the effects and monster designs in the movie they were so cool#also I thought the first sanzang actor was sooo cute and pathetic why didn’t they keep him 😭#well it’s for the best I wouldn’t wanna have seen him turn abusive like they wrote him in the second movie#also dsb is the only movie in which I can understand the wukong and tripitaka shippers cuz that ENDING SCENE yeah I saw it#oh right my tags sorry lol#digital art#my art#journey to the west#jttw sun wukong#conquering the demons#demons strike back#sun wukong#also his glowup in between movies is so funny lmfao#if you couldn’t accept him at his conquering the demons you don’t deserve him at his demons strike back#at least dsb gave me this human version of wukong please sir just one chance just one sniff-
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"erm actually this teenager is just as bad as the adult who is grooming them because they sometimes act according to the horrible things they've been taught and have been offered no alternate perspective on" <- how some of you sound when talking about rgu
#yes somebody can be both a victim and an abuser. obviously.#but the harm adults can cause children will always outweigh the harm kids can do to each other#i thought we were past this kind of bullshit someone get me the hell out of here!!!!!#m
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Abusive parents will go 'Oh yeah? Well I had it worse! My parents were bad!' and it's like, Oh? We can acknowledge that your parents were bad? You can say that? You can say they treated you very badly? You know this and are aware of this?
And yet, when raising your own child, you used their methods and decided that you are the victim here? That it's okay because they've done it 'worse'? You're comfortable telling your children that they're paying for however you've been treated, and that you specifically had your children to expose them to all of the bad things that happened to you? The world feels fair to you if your own children are suffering? That's where you take your power?
Your parents were bad and you know this, so you went ahead and became a bad parent on purpose, and you're thinking you're the victim in all this?
#abusive parents#feeble excuses#if you know your parents were bad then you know they treated you bad#so by logic you would not use the same measures to raise your own kids while whining how you had it worse#nobody believes you btw#you don't even know what your children are going trough and what environment they're exposed#they're growing in a different world than you were raised in#what you do to them will feel different from what's been done to you#but you don't care about all that do you#you only care about having those 5 simple words to excuse everything you've done#i've had it worse#anyone in the world can have a traumatic time living in this world#and none of it gives them the right to take it out on children#children are not sacrificial altairs to make people feel better about their past#children are the future and you are taking that future away from them#disgusting victim blaming mongrels
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'Problematic things were considered good in the past so you're puritan for critizing them!'Oh yeah,by WHICH people were they considered good?Quickly🧍🏽♀️
#that's licherally the problem.black people didn't think slavery was good nor did women enjoy misogyny nor did children being fucking r*ped#y'all are genuinely awful no wonder you're the same people who never believe or support modern day abuse victims unless you liked them#BEFORE you knew they were abused.when they're a victim of your faves you give your parasocial situationship all the victimhood instead#like clockwork.clockworks made by racist old white men into controversially young women and say all kinds of slurs to embrace tradition#on the far right side of history#antiproship#kink critical#bigotry#anarchism#decolonization#acab#gentrification#pinkwashing#antiblackness#misogynoir#ableism#transmisogyny#transmascphobia#intersexism#xenophobia#lesbophobia#biphobia#panphobia#aspecphobia#butchphobia#femmephobia#ageism#victim blaming#racism cw#summerposting
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Cdream be like: You can't put yourself in the Prison anymore bc of the woke >:(/lh
That man is a mess like it's facinating how messy his vision of reality is for others and himself
it is fascinating fr, and does remind me of how we'd talk a little bit about how his perspective may betray what kind of environment this guy might've been in pre-dsmp. the stick-up-his-ass about rules and rule-following, the neuroticism about conflict, and the ease with which he jumps to punishment as being the appropriate response to people who cause problems (a perspective that, quite evidently, to a certain extent, does apply to himself, doesn't it?) all seems quite indicative of someone who lived in an environment where punishment being the natural consequence of stepping outside the lines was generally something that went unquestioned. of course, this is speculative, and it's not that a #tragicbackstory is necessary to explain what the fuck is up with c!Dream, and it's hardly about justifying the choice to abuse a teenager into behaving, lmao. but while exile served his goals and exile was a lot of petty, spiteful cruelty for petty, spiteful reasons, i do think there's something to be said about how clearly c!Dream hadn't expected c!Tommy to respond quite so severely to exile and how he thought he would be "fine" with potatoes in the prison and the language he used both about exile and his own early prison stay about shit like "getting better" through punishment. of course, punitive justice as a norm is kind of ingrained in our own society (just look at the rhetoric around deserving in this fandom, lmao, which speaks more than well enough for itself) and of course that reflects onto the dream smp as well, considering how many of the characters talk quite freely about the idea of punishment/deserving/what have you, but few characters are quite as obviously a stickler for rule-following as c!dream and exile and then prison are uhhh definitely on the more extreme end of things. anyway. just some food for thought
#my asks !!#tw abuse#it's part of why i get a little uncomfortable with the rhetoric about abuser/victim that is so common on the internet these days#bc there's often this notion of these two categories as being mutually exclusive completely distinct groups of people#and well honestly being abused normalizes abuse to a person? many people who think beating a child is fine actually were beat themselves#if you live in a world where the framework exists that punishment is the natural consequence for breaking the rules#then you will believe and often later on enforce the idea of punishment as the natural consequence for breaking the rules#there's stuff with c!dream re: this topic that's more speculative and there's stuff that's less so#(especially if you look at the weird ways he seems to be about his own redemption to c!wilbur during pogtopia)#(and that in relation to the consequences of the revolution)#but anyway. just a little ramble
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We haven't really moved on that much from stuff like the Oedipus or Elektra complexes. Psychology and psychiatry are still deeply centered around blaming abuse survivors for the abuse they endured with largely non-falsifiable ideas. The only reason why we look at much of Freud's ideas as nonsense now is because people are uncomfortable with their sexual nature, which is why many psychologists inspired by him actively took his framework and purposefully desexualized it. Yet, the basic behaviors are still very prevalent. Children are blamed for being abused and traumatized. Abuse survivors of all ages are blamed for being abused and traumatized. This is both used to legitimize isolating them and subjecting them to more abuse to "correct' their behaviors.
#freud's ideas were never abandoned#they were just desexualized#freud#pseudoscience#antipsychiatry#text#my stuff#victim blaming#medical abuse#sanism
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what i will always, alwaysss hate about the crowfeather discourse is how it got several people, even some people who i thought would know better than to spread such harmful rhetoric, to get up on their soapbox and say with their whole chest "child neglect is not abusive, breezepelt should get the fuck over it"
#ignoring how crow wasnt just neglectful here ofc. and how people defend his physical abuse too#but even this just really pisses me off like jesus christ what a disgusting thing to tell your young influential audience#''your parents are ignoring your emotional and physical needs? well stop being a fucking baby and get over it. its not THAT bad''#and even if thats not what they said exactly. what do you think neglect victims were actually hearing? be for real#idk what it is abt crows boring fucking ass that makes people fawn over him so hard theyre willing to demean abuse victims#this is the real reason i hate this character. like ig its unfair to have that fanon influence but good god now he just pisses me off
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