#psychological abuse is like a domino effect. you are conditioned to do one thing that gets carried over to the next abusive situation

[tazmiilly]

it is always nice to find another abuse survivor who also felt like ford's story resonated with them. it's nice to feel like there's other people who know what I'm talking about

[pixels--galore]

How to stop thinking about someone

Have you ever found yourself constantly thinking about someone? How did you feel about their words and actions?

It is easy to focus for hours on something that hurts our children, our family, or anyone we love. We may also be able to gossip behind us or act in a confusing way. We think about the unkind, self-centered, and untrue comments of others while doing dishes, driving, or walking our dogs. We keep seeing their image and hearing their words. They are always right in front of us, no matter how far away we have been physical.

We are not referring to how we deal with abuse or trauma. These situations need professional intervention. This is how I refer to daily interactions with others that can cause mental sputtering.

How can we stop being enslaved by the thoughts of others? How can we stop thinking about other people and situations?

It might not be about the person. It could be about how you got or didn't get it, what you have and don't have, and what is wrong in your life. Sometimes you feel like someone is responsible for the problems.

This toxic cycle of thinking is harmful to your health. Studies show that ruminating can lead to an unhappy and unhealthy mind. Our monkey mind can become unhappily entangled with past events, resentments, or losses. This can lead to hormones and other harmful inflammatory stress chemicals. Scientists have identified how ruminating can lead to depression, heart disease, and other conditions like cancer. The stress chemicals that we consume are more harmful than the original cause.

You should not be able to think in toxic ways. It's like being caught on an endless, spinning, circular ride at the fair. While it was fun for a few turns, it makes you sick.

You want to escape. But you can't.

We do our best to eliminate harmful substances from our daily lives. We avoid chemicals, eat organic foods, and clean up our homes. Our minds are not made to be more environmentally friendly. Is there a green way to stop toxic thinking?

My research helped me discover insights that allowed me to stop worrying, worrying, replaying thoughts, and spinning stories about people and things.

ulness psychology leaders. These ideas should resonate most with you.

How to get someone off of your mind

My motto is "Less is More." It's smart to be less assertive when dealing with difficult and reactive people. This allows us to calm down, let go of the negative emotions, and then move on to the positive. The annoying thing will usually go away over time.

Let's just wait and see what happens next. We often think about what we should do next. Sylvia Boorstein, a Buddhist psychologist, suggests that we wait and see what happens.

Don't blame others. It's not productive to attempt to assign blame for past events (including your own). Most misunderstandings and bad events "happen" because of a series or domino effect. It is not the fault of one person. This is Sylvia Boorstein's saying that helps us remember the truth. "First, this happened. Then this happened. Then this happened. Then this happened. Then this happened. And then it happened."

Do not allow yourself to be influenced by others. This Sylvia Boorstein tip sums it up.

Your greatest problem. Norman Fischer, a Buddhist meditation instructor, said that our greatest problem is our anger. Anger can affect our ability to think rationally and work productively. Anger is the biggest problem. You must take care of yourself first. Meditate, exercise, and eat well.

Anger can lead to wrinkles in the brain. This theme is continued by Sylvia Boorstein's teaching. Madness makes it impossible to think clearly, to be creative, and to be thoughtful about how you deal with situations. She said that anger "wrinkles your mind."

Don't try to figure others out. This is another Norman Fischer lesson. Consider this: What accuracy do you think other people would be able to determine your thoughts and motivations? They wouldn't be able to determine your thoughts. It is not worth it to try and find out what others think. You are likely to be wrong. All that ruminating is a waste of time.

Thoughts are not facts. Why not treat them as such? Emotions are anxiety and fear. Emotions can be physical. This can be taken to mean that our thoughts are true. If these feelings are not true, it's difficult to feel so bad. Tsokyni Ripoche, a Tibetan Buddhist Tsokyni Rinpoche, teaches that emotions such as anger, worry, and regrets can lead to emotional hijacking. "

What can you do? Tara Brach, a psychologist and teacher, suggests that we can add to our suffering when we get angry, take offense, make judgments, or fume about how others treat us. An event + our reaction = suffering. Learning opportunities can be created when we are able to feel our emotions and ask ourselves why. Learning opportunities are events, inquiry, and present. You should focus on growth. Green, not red.

Never allow anyone to take your heart. The Tara Brach teaching speaks for itself.

Time is not your friend. Many times we look back at past events in order to determine if we could have avoided a mishap. Yesterday's events are just as relevant today as those that occurred a thousand years ago. We can't change the past or what happened last week.

Forgiveness. It happened. It was horrible. That is what makes you different. Forgiving someone is not the same as being sorry. To let go of the pain and suffering that has been caused by the past, forgiveness is essential. Kornfield said, "Please forgive me."

To calm your mind and stop worrying, use imagery. This image works for me every time: Picture yourself at the bottom of a vast ocean and watching everything pass by. Your thoughts will drift by as if you were in the calm, deep blue sea. This mantra helps me to relax.

Show them kindness and love. Wanda Lasseter-Lundy suggests that you can send them a ball of light if you are feeling overwhelmed by thoughts about someone you have hurt or who is driving you insane. The ball of light can be placed around your eyes and held there until you feel calm. It's possible. It's possible.

You can take a 90-second break. This will help you to change your thinking patterns. Neuropsychiatrist Dan Siegel says that after just 90 seconds, an emotion can rise and fall as waves on the shore. It takes just 90 seconds to change from one mood, even anger, to another. Give yourself 90 seconds to forget the situation or person. This thought cycle is broken, and your thoughts are no longer in control.

[girl4music]

The thing is that they use mind control as a narrative tool or concept to explore themes that wouldn’t really make sense without some supernatural element to it.

The main theme in ‘Ted’ is domestic abuse. And so putting everybody but Buffy under mind control so that they can’t see and can’t believe what Buffy tells them lends itself to the very real-life gaslighting technique. So that’s what mind control represents pretty much every time in ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’.

It’s gaslighting and psychological conditioning. Which is a huge part of the experience of domestic abuse.

I think there’s only ‘Family’ where mind control isn’t needed to talk about and explore this theme and that’s because the Gang don’t really know who Tara is at that point so it’s just as easy to be untrustworthy about her without any need to use any mind control.

But otherwise - yeah, mind control is the supernatural tool or concept used to talk about domestic abuse.

There’s a fantastic episode in ‘Wynonna Earp’ called ‘Jolene’ that uses mind control to not only explore domestic abuse but also mental illness and suicide. The main character who is the cinnamon roll of the Gang in that show goes through the same scenario much like Buffy does in ‘Ted’ where everybody, including the main character that is the victim in the situation, eats spiked food with a mind control influence that a demon makes them to try and turn her family and friends against her. It’s really good.

In short - genre shows use supernatural/fantasy elements as narrative tools and concepts and vehicles to explore very real-life situations and circumstances.

I mean ‘BtVS’ is pretty much doing this all the time as the main concept is vampires and slaying vampires. The “vampires” themselves represent a concept to explore the ever-present theme of growing up and the obstacles and complications of coming of age. ‘BtVS’ pretty much single-handedly made that popular, and so other supernatural/fantasy shows thereafter followed suit like ‘Wynonna Earp’ and ‘Supernatural’.

One of the things that make genre shows so appealing is that they’re able to tell stories that really relate to and resonate with real-life people through clever supernatural/fantasy tools and concepts and vehicles. And it’s often where you get THE BEST show writing.

There’s also this fantastic 90’s sci-fi/fantasy show that aired just before ‘BtVS’ called ‘Sliders’ that are really fantastic at this so while ‘BtVS’ might have made it popular - it’s been a thing for a long fucking time in TV art/entertainment. Probably as early as 60’s Star Trek.

Maybe even before that. Who knows?

It just proves that TV art/entertainment show writing was way better than it is now because it was both classic and post-modernistic and therefore leagues ahead. All of these 90’s/early 2000’s genre shows may have controversies as well as graphics setbacks that show that they haven’t aged well in some ways, but in many other ways - they address shit through metaphor and analogy that no show today dares to - and so for me - they are the pinnacle of show writing because they go places that - even through a young adult lens - teach many great lessons and morals if you can see deeper than the surface level and don’t just take the supernatural/fantasy of it at face value.

‘BtVS’ is the TV show most noted for this but it’s been how genre show writing works since ever. It’s true that ‘BtVS’ has always been what made these show writing techniques popular but it’s never been what did it first and anyone from this generation that watches it now immediately think it’s the best thing ever but it’s only because they’ve never experienced what came before and dipped their toes in the vast lake of genre shows.

I could give you an entire list of supernatural/fantasy/mythology/sci-fi TV shows that have done it better. I love ‘BtVS’ to bits but it gets far too much credit for stuff that’s been done well before it made it popular.

TV show writing really is a domino effect in that the formula of what worked will be repeated but the quintessential example will never be what started it in the first place. That’s usually independent efforts. And those independent efforts will get ignored and fall under the radar when a bigger network “discovers” it.

Joss Whedon just took what worked and polished it. His writing is tight, tidy, innovative and experimental.

But there’s not a single thing he is well noted for as far as TV/film creating goes that actually belongs to him.

A feminist icon? Robert Tapert got there before him. And still remains an actual feminist and not a phoney.

I am so tired of ‘BtVS’ and Whedon getting all the credit and notoriety for what started before their time.

I’ll mention Xena, Sliders, The X Files, Star Trek, Roswell, Otherworld, The Girl From Tomorrow, So Weird and so many more genre shows that did it before Buffy the Vampire Slayer made it popular.

But it always falls on deaf ears because ‘BtVS’ seems to be the only TV genre show people from this generation know and watch and react to. There’s countless YouTubers reacting to it and praising it to high heaven for what it never ever originated at all.

And for fuck sake I wish more of them reacted to Xena so that they could realize that ‘Once More, With Feeling’ wasn’t ever the first musical episode at all.

‘The Bitter Suite’ came first and is just as creative.

Just things like that that ‘BtVS’ and Whedon get way too much credit for as if they actually originated it.

No. They made it popular. More popular than it was. And therefore many other TV creators followed suit stating only ‘BtVS’ as their inspiration to do so.

Anyway, I’ll stop ranting now. It just bothers me.

One weird thing about Buffy the Vampire Slayer is how strangely ubiquitous mind control is. I just rewatched the Ted episode and he has mind control cookies? I forgot about that. I swear the average btvs character spends ~10% of their time on screen under some kind of mind control.

[sammyclassicsjwfan-blog]

If abuse were such a big problem

If abuse were such a big problem, Anna says, then why would any Romanian girls bother with it at all? Why wouldn't they just find some other job? In a country whose GDP only stopped shrinking two years ago, with 20 per cent of the population living below the poverty line and personal income levels far below Kazakhstan, Iran and Gabon, that question answers itself. There's a reason Anna's so happy to be independent from her former employers, a status she equates with nothing less than her "freedom".Andra Chirnogeanu, Studio 20's PR Manager, also rejects the idea that this is risky or psychologically damaging work.On her end, the website looks like this. This is where she sits and waits. (Click to expand)When the clothes do come off, it can be damn lucrative: Domino estimates she hauls in around $US300 on a good day — although a bad day is zero dollars, and hours wasted. But it's enough for her to be completely self-sufficient, albeit weary of the whole thing sometimes. More concerning though are the handful of "true creeps" she runs into — the gents who aren't just pervs, but sexual threats. That's never OK, but the rest of the time, occasional criminals aside, the job sounds downright leisurely.

For Lana, 31, webcamming has provided enough money for her to bring up her daughter alone, and to think about investing money in something "that will bring money to the country". She plans to give up in two years' time.If you've looked at porn online (which we pretty much all have), you've likely been propositioned by advertisements for cam girl networks. They invade your peripheral vision; they pop up behind your window. The women wait for you to start staring, and, just when you're interested, they hit you up for money. You've seen them sitting at their keyboards, wearing barely anything, winking at you, typing to nobody in particular with thin, lethargic arms: bored and conventionally beautiful. The ads, with flirty video that might be live or recorded years ago, shout at you with promises of "Live Sex Chat" and "Sex Shows", with both amateurs and "pornstars" alike. It's a web red light district, and unlike some gaudy Dutch strip or seedy sidewalk, you're completely anonymous. The sex comes to you.Why do you think some men, and probably women as well, prefer it to porn?She started in the German porn game at 17, and moved on to cam modelling years later in Bangkok. Two years ago she was the number one rated model on MyFreeCams — meaning her link was at the very top of the site's barren layout — bringing in around $US37,000 per month. These days, girls in those top slots can earn up to an insane $US75,000 per month. The competition is cutthroat. The MFC ratings battle is ruthless, as tips beget more tips: if you're being paid well, you move up the totem pole, ensuring a snowball effect of even more attention and money.

I met Anna because she flatly offered to talk to me — clothed or unclothed — in exchange for money. She's Romanian, a model from a region with a reputation for sordid conditions and rapacious studio owners. If there were a dark side to the industry, she'd at least be nestled closest to it. But when her camera first flipped on for me, I didn't see the stained walls of a prostitute's den. Instead: a bright, modern apartment inhabited by a bright, modern girl. In her pink underwear. Anna embodies almost every delightful stereotype an American brain can hold over a young girl from Romania. At 24, she's clever — even cunning — sarcastically flirtatious in a way that makes you want to check your back pocket, and possesses stunning slavic beauty.Why do you think some men, and probably women as well, prefer it to porn?As with most sex work, webcamming doesn’t have the best reputation. It’s often seen as exploitation or a last-resort hustle to pay off debt, but Reed Amber, 26, explains how webcam models are just your average self-employed freelancers with the same amount of agency and independence as anyone else.This comes off as somewhere between cynicism and naive denial, but the fact that she knows of any girls at all who've raped and beaten suggests that it is, at the very least, a real occupational hazard.

[iheartpaps-blog]

TDCJ’s Ad-Seg Program is for Profit not for Rehabilitation- Writen by: Jason Renard Walker

TDCJ's Ad-Seg Program is for Profit not for Rehabilitation: From Sensory Deprivation to Sensory Overload – And Back, by Jason Renard Walker – Deputy Minister of Labor, New African Black Panther Party

After randomly being awakened in the early morning, boarded on the TDCJ transportation bus, then shipped to the Ramsey Unit, a prisoner told me that the experience was like “being snatched from a dungeon and sent to a new wave slave plantation.”

The statement he made is a reality that many prisoners housed in close custody units and solitary confinement cells throughout the state of Texas are experiencing, on a whim.

In fact, the majority of prisoners that are sent to the Ramsey Unit claim that they were forced to board the bus with one small bag of property and the rest was left in their cells, as is, with the mere promise that it would be sent later – a situation I'm all to familiar with.

To “middleman” and profit off of tax, state, and government funded rehabilitation programs, state and prison officials create then embed unproductive and meaningless programs within the many costly pre-existing programs, like the Pamio and CMI psychiatric programs at the Clements Unit and the Ad-Seg Transitional Program (ASTP) here at the Ramsey Unit.

On paper these programs are supposed to help prisoners cope with the physical, mental and psychological stress imposed from countless years of living in solitary confinement-like conditions.

They've done everything but that. A special group of “experts”, teachers, therapists and counselors are weaselled onto the state's payroll as advisors and instructors, but not to help us rehabilitate. No! No! No!

The purpose is to expand the job opportunities for the relatives of ex- and current TDCJ employees, both in the upper echelons and on the lower rungs. This way everything is kept “in the family”, the capital is concentrated and the exploitative practices and for-profit schemes are perpetually passed from one generation to the next. This explains why the grievance supervisor, mailroom supervisor and warden all have relatives (with the same last name) working at the prisons, who are corrupt as ever, and get away with it. It's a repeated cycle.

But this ASTP program is clearly one that is shifting unknowing prisoners from sensory deprivation to sensory overload, then back to sensory deprivation immediately after the prisoner breaks down from being simultaneously bombarded with the contradictions of solitary confinement. I'll explain later.

In response, this hasn't been a concern to the transition team (who are mostly related to prison staff), who are using this program to get free pay checks, ride the clock and use the education building to hold banquets, premature Christmas parties, and gossip with co-workers all day.

On top of which, the 2017 Texas state budget called for a four per cent decrease in funding for the state's prison system. This amounts to a quarter billion in slashed funds for a system that's already under pressure. With the pressure valve being an understaffed prison system, over-priced commissary vendor, phone services with sky-high prices, and the reduction of limited non-Texas harvested food items, like fish, cheese and coffee etc, which is part of TDCJ's budget.

But even though this budget cut was called for, this hasn't affected the TDCJ's efforts in using a compromised budget to design unnecessary and ineffective programs that call for expanding the annual state payroll, which has a domino effect on TDCJ's inability to get a budget increase.

How the scheme works:

Originally the ASTP program was designed as a “voluntary” program for ad-seg prisoners only. By their own written policy (which may have changed), prisoners have to be a line class I (one) or higher to be eligible.

The chosen are picked during the state classification committee (SCC) hearing that is held every six months. Prisoners aren't supposed to be sent to the program unless they agree to the terms and conditions. Those that decline to participate are supposed to have an alternative route, like medium custody.

But in any event, refusing the program isn't supposed to affect our eligibility to be released from ad-seg, as the program is supposedly “voluntary”. After arriving at the Ramsey Unit, I was told that we all “agreed to be here” and could've exercised other options.

I also learned that the administration are ignoring their own policy and are randomly enrolling close custody prisoners, regardless of their line class, ineligibility, or willingness to participate – all to fill up space and keep the program running and the checks coming in. “If you don't wanna be here, just say the word and I'll put your ass on the bus” said Mr McGowen, an obese bigot who's obviously eating well from his highly paid, non-laborious position as program manager or held negro in charge (HNIC). “I get paid regardless”, he said while wolfing down snacks in front of the commissary window.

This get put on the bus routine only sends the prisoner back to close custody or seg, only to start their stint over, be reconsidered to attend and sent back, over and over until they graduate or go home.

Despite this “volunteer” notion, before they are put on the bus they receive disciplinary cases for refusing to attend classes or something. Similarly, with this being done, our placement back into the same conditions is justified.

The policy says we can go back to population after being kicked out of the program, but their statistics show that we are being sent back to close custody or ad-seg – a revolving door scam.

Additionally, we attend two separate classes held by two different teachers, one class is Monday-Friday and the other is twice a week. In regards to the latter, on days the teacher feels a need to hang out with her co-workers like McGowen or sleep, she'll simply cancel the classes for the day and have us forge our names on the roster saying that we attended the days in question. This is sometimes arranged ahead of time and told to us before it takes place, as to get our agreement to conspire in their money scheme.

This ultimately results in prisoners being forced to stay on the cell block all day while “control freak” guards like O'Moregie spend the entire shift provoking them into confrontations then write them disciplinary cases, resulting in them being kicked out of the program. All the while, those who run the program and are key to our transition, kick back in the education building while inmate bellboys cater to their every want and need.

In retrospect, the five-day-a-week class can only be completed after we do a minimum of 150 classroom hours, which doesn't include non-school time like unit lockdowns, holidays etc, which prolongs our completion. So essentially this class has its perks for staff too.

Normally these classes are held three hours per group, but due to prison count defaults, we are routinely forced to stay close to an hour over, in which case we get no credit for having to stay late, but the teachers get paid as if class is still being held.

From Sensory Deprivation to Sensory Overload

Outside of the money scheme, an abstracted element exists – zero tolerance attitudes from staff who desire to remove us (mainly Blacks and Hispanics) from the program under the slightest pretext.

After an openly racist ranking official (Sgt Gerrold W Sharp) replaced Sgt Hughes as the program sergeant, “zero tolerance” mode was put into effect.

I observed prisoners chatting among themselves about how racist Sharp is but thought it was exaggeration.  That's until, on December 11 2017, I witnessed him use the words “nigger” and “black ass”, following a confrontation with a Black prisoner who he denied the right to eat in the chow hall. “You're not getting shit. What you gonna do about it?” he screamed at the prisoner who was on the other side of the locked cell block door.

What I noticed about Sharp is that he doesn't show his true colors unless he's around white co-workers or the prisoner is locked behind a door and is provoked by him to hurl impulsive threats, in which case the prisoner has a lesser chance to be in a position to challenge Sharp's returned threats. In response, a case can be written and the prisoner can be kicked out of the program.

“Please don't shut up, so I can write you up”, Sharp taunted another prisoner in the education building, following an office asking him to be quiet. During that time, Sharp was surrounded by guards.

A White prisoner told me that Sharp explained that he'd assist the Whites in any way he can to make sure they completed the program, while going out of his way to coax Black and Hispanic prisoners into getting kicked out. A second White prisoner told me that he was approached by Sharp and told “I got y'all's back”, but after finding out that the White prisoner embraced Black culture, he started harassing him and threatening to kick him out for minor everyday things. (This prisoner was eventually removed from the program for one reason or another.)

As I was collecting evidence from prisoners about Sharp's behavior towards them, one-by-one they were kicked out of the program for a variety of minor things that were factually baseless. A Black prisoner, D Bell Jr #1781174, who'd recently been removed from the program by one of Sharp's running dogs, sent me this message while waiting to be sent back to the dungeon, in hopes that I'd bring awareness to it:

“Being falsely accused is abuse throughout prisons across America. These problems are often veiled by being conveniently grouped together under a category of “criminal” or “offender” and by the automatic attribution of criminal behavior to people of that status. This causes some officials to abuse their authority and keep this corrupt behavior breathing. I am innocent and I only wish to complete this god-given program.”

Given that 80% of prison staff are of African descent, it is strange that Sharp was able to survive the short time he did (due to valid complaints, he is no longer controlling our cell block).

But this still hasn't solved the problem of prisoners being kicked out of the program on frivolous grounds. Lieutenant Joe M Lopez has picked up where Sharp left off; his motive isn't driven by greed or racism, but pure hate for ASTP prisoners, and his love for absolute authority over them.

During my seven-year stay in solitary, I'd grown accustomed to expecting and predicting the outcome of certain situations that I was powerless over, and other situations where I had some control, e.g.: using the restroom when I want; sleeping when I want; saving my meals to eat when I want, etc.

This long state of extreme sensory deprivation forced me into adjusting to being restricted from things like social and physical contact with staff; the ability to leave the cell without leg and hand restraints; the ability to physically confront staff without them being safely guarded by a cell door, etc.

But the contradictions of this program have exposed us to being bombarded by racist, aggressive, taunting, mentally abusive and verbally threatening guards; guards running up to our faces; screaming, swearing and pointing their fingers at us; challenging us to fight but writing us up when we accept the challenge – that is to say, deliberate sensory overload.

What I'm about to describe exposes this program as being bogus instead of rehabilitative. In the month of November 2017, me and three other prisoners were scheduled to see medical staff and psychiatrist Brandon Heiple.

Immediately after we arrived to the sign-in desk, escorted by Officer Derrick D Day, an officer who told me that “everyone” is out to get him fired, Officer Misty C Sam jumped up from the desk and maniacally screamed “you niggas back the fuck up!” After we tried to explain our reason for being there, she began swearing and hurling insults. This was enough to make us step behind the door connecting the walk-way and the infirmary entrance. Day closed the door.

We fired back insults of our own, but she obviously wasn't in any mood to have a verbal battle and got straight to the point. “What's up, what you gonna do?” she said to prisoner Leonard M Brazier Jr, #784079, who told her it didn't matter.

As Officer Day opened the barred door, inviting one of us to challenge her, she stood with balled-up fists,and as nurses watched, screaming “what's up nigga, you ready?” Nobody moved, so Day closed the door and the nurses carried on. “Y'all niggas ain't ready” she said to herself as she sat back down, smiling.

I confronted Officer Day about why he didn't control the situation, but he claimed that prisoners and his co-workers are out to get him fired, so he didn't want to get involved. But in contradiction to his statement, he opened the door so as to assist with Officer Sam's attempts to provoke us into hitting her, and didn't close it back until it was confirmed that we wouldn't bite. A great example of one way to get fired.

Program employees like Mr McGowen, Ms Dogan, Ms King, the Smith sisters and ranking staff who oversee the cell block are supposed to respond to and assist us in situations where our position in the program is in jeopardy, but they don't.

The only time we are given advice is after we've lashed out at guards, in which case the advice is usless since being kicked out is inevitable. And other times, we are told to keep sucking it up regardless of how unconstitutional and flagrantly abusive their acts are. “What's more important?” they often ask, with no thoughts of fixing the dilemma.

On November 27, 2017, I was challenged to act out yet again. As I was standing in line, getting food put on my tray, I was approached by the food service manager, Etta T Armstead, who first told me to get out of the line for no reason at all.

After I exposed her baseless reason, she grabbed the tray and tried to jerk it out of my hand, spilling food on my shirt. “Give me the tray”, she said. After I asked for an explanation, she claimed that I'd already eaten, which was proven to be a lie. She then claimed that she saw me steal two slices of cheese from behind the service line. Officer De Souza explained that he'd given them to me since I have a medical pass authorising me to have extra nutrition.

“I run the kitchen, I don't care what kinda restriction you got” she said, ignoring this justification. After I wouldn't give up the tray, she called Sharp and Lopez, and they all huddled up. I went to sit down.

Sharp approached and demanded that I hand him the cheese. I slid the tray to him so he could get it himself, but he stated “boy you gonna hand me the cheese or you going back to seg”, showing me the handcuffs.

I refused to hand it to him but put the tray where he could grab it, which still wasn't good enough. “Hand him the cheese or I'll say you stole it” Armstead said, I refused. I was handcuffed, take nto medical for a pre-seg evaluation, then thrown in solitary confinement.

To justify the theft cast they had pre-wrote so I would get kicked out of the program, character witnesses including medical staff, Armstead and DeSouza were interviewed.

Knowing that the initial statement that staff make is usually adopted by others, they got Armstead's theft claim and tried to see if DeSouza would agree with it. He and medical staff both admitted that the cheese was given to me and that it can be used to replace items I'm allergic to.

This forced Lopez to release me from solitary and throw the case away, but not before admitting that Armstead may seek revenge on me or write me up on another day.

This is not a unique situation, prisoners are being provoked and set-up every day. Due to the average prisoner being unaware of their own constitutional rights and how to challenge bogus disciplinary cases, this program has turned into one that doesn't seek to help us make the transition to population; but one that is used to provoke us into going back to the dungeon, and which gives the administration data that can be used to keep us there and label us as lost causes.

We need the public and journalists to scrutinize the ASTP program and help crack down on the state's abuse of it as one that's torturing us by sending us from sensory deprivation to sensory overload and back.

Dare to struggle, dare to win. All power to the people.

Jason Renard Walker #1532092

Ramsey Unit

1100 FM 655

Rosharon, TX 77583