#they have some growing up to do fr
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nicosraf · 2 years ago
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I loved your book! Where and how do you get the idea of writing a queer retelling of the fall of Satan? And is there any particular reason that out of all angels it is Michael that Lucifer fell for?
Hello! Thank you so much for reading! I'm happy you enjoyed :] <333
I wrote a long post about why I wrote the book and where it came from but TLDR: I have a lot of trauma regarding my gender/sexuality and Catholicism from growing up in a very Catholic Mexican community and from the couple months in a Christian conversion therapy situation. Queerness was forcibly associated with the devil in my brain, which I still have trouble shaking off, and I basically said, "Ok, let's say Satan is queer then–"
(I should also mention I was really amused by how queer a lot of angel-related texts were – Paradise Lost Book 8, for example, implying all angels are male-ish but have weird sex with each other.)
I'm not sure if you're asking why Lucifer fell for Michael in the story or why I decided to make Michael the love interest. If you're interested in why I choose Michael, I briefly talk about that here!
As for why Lucifer fell for Michael? Well, Lucifer obsesses and loves a lot of things in ABM - God, Earth, Michael (and all those things are a lot more similar than you might think). Michael was a lot to Lucifer – not just the person who told him to love himself but also a representation of a thousand things – power, leadership, strength, confidence and even god-ness.
Lucifer lied to himself a lot – ("He was happy, happy, happy. What else could an angel be but happy?") – and so you have to ask yourself how much of Lucifer's nature in Part 1 was genuine, how much of his want to submit ever was. (This isn't to say Lucifer was wickedly tricking the reader, just that he was insecure, he didn't know what he wanted. He was young.) Lucifer was ashamed of himself. It's said over and over, and surely it's true because he cries so much about it. But didn't he secretly want to be seen too, particularly as he aged? He dressed up for the feast at the gallery and painted his lips with pomegranate. He said he was happy serving God, but then he climbed trees and stared upward, waiting for Michael to return with a universe on his back.
Then Michael did return, and he pampered Lucifer and inflated the ego that maybe always wanted to be just a little bigger, wanted to be guided there. Plus, Michael is really hot. I'm serious. And it goes both ways. Michael fell in love with Lucifer instantly when he saw him from afar because of his beauty. They're both a bit self-absorbed for this: Lucifer wanted the strongest angel to love him, and Michael wanted the most beautiful.
But Lucifer loved Michael's pride, that he did more than just desire him, shyly, from afar: "But [Michael] looked at [Lucifer] differently, calling for him always differently, uttering his name fearlessly, taking and grabbing Lucifer in a way no other angel had the pride to do... 'You do not desire me.' ... 'Because you know I'm already yours." They're both full of themselves, really, but they like it in each other.
And, lastly, "Michael" derives from the Hebrew for "who is like God?". On one hand, Lucifer falling so fast and hard for Michael is just a continuation of his adoration of God (and a much better fit, because Lucifer can speak to Michael like an equal, he can relate to him, he can love him sincerely). And there's something really poetic, too, about Lucifer kissing and embracing and wanting to intermingle with this question of who is God. It's like he's answering it, like he's trying to say, "Me. It's Me."
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goldensunset · 4 months ago
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“He was lonely…”
“He was trying to destroy everything around him! That is not the same as a lonely child! We can’t allow that!”
“The power of the mask made him do it. It was too much for him to handle.”
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edge-oftheworld · 7 months ago
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real talk though how much of their success was facilitated by the fact liz hemmings sees 'child with adhd' and thinks 'future world renowned musician' and just invested so much love and time and money into nurturing not only her own child's ambitions but also these two kids he brought home from school and the table drummer from her year 9 math class of 2009
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anonymocha · 3 months ago
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finally coming out as a dyke in 2023 is realizing i dont need to pretend to simp that Guy just because everyone else in my friend group does
#finally coming out as a dyke in 2023 is realizing i can be insane abt women the same way my friends are insane abt men#life changing#mochats#im sorry to my friends who think me simping that guy was genuine#i was just trying to fit in#its a good time to admit that 90% of the time i also dont care abt male characters same way how-#-some straight women dont care abt female characters#i refuse to waste my power on a guy everyone else cares about#im tired enough and i have assignments to do#if i become an outcast for only sparing my energy on women then so be it.#i care about my friends and love them gushing abt a Guy but i personally cannot be made to care in a way they do#not just because i think (often neglected) female characters deserve more of my attention but also because-#-my attraction does influence my interest LETS BE FR HERE#growing up is realizing that putting attention on things you dont care about#is exhausting#as fuck#and i kind of hated how i feel like i wasted my youth energy drawing characters idc abt to please others#now im just tired all the time#while wishing i can draw more women more often#so like#dont do that#draw and write what YOU want#btw its not that i dont care abt men i just have such low energy lately that if i care for anything else but women — it may be unfulfilling#live laugh fatigue#every time i see a guy fanart i scroll past life has never felt so good#(unless its by a friend which i will appreciate dearly i love my friends art and how passionate they r)
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voiddemon · 1 year ago
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Voiddemon thoughts because 20 million things kept me from sleeping an hour ago like I wanted.
Why is there no like. Bed frame that u can pull a foldable things of wood up on the sides so you are fully enclosed. I wanna be enclosed by my silly plushes when I sleep and spend 20 minutes moving them back so they won’t fall. I wanna feel like a baby in a crib because maybe then I will sleep like one >:(
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xxplastic-cubexx · 1 day ago
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sorry if you've already mentioned but what (re?)ignited your love of comics/x-men/cherik? curious because there are so many different adaptations of them
i think im gonna speak for a few (or a lot of) people when i say that TL;DR the wolverine x deadpool movie that came out this summer is what pulled me back into comics and i COULD leave it there but i will go into excruciating and unnecessary detail instead because i love an origin story and i love oversharing.
under the cut tho because im nice sometimes (there's also wxdp doodles in here. if you want to see that)
ironically (and probably commonly), growing up i was more of an avengers kid. Kinda. Loosely <- binge watched the cartoons and movies and read copious amounts of comics and fics and i am hoarding fanart in my old dresser as we speak ok 'loosely' is a modest lie.
embarrassingly i remember getting into discus cause of captain america LMAO so yeah needless to say i was a Humble Fan- me joining my school's comic class/club didnt help either (shoutout to my teach from that she was the realest one out there for. A Multitude of reasons). she definitely is was inspires me to even draw still and make comics and i often think bout the tips i learned from her class tbh she was great
back to the movies t and comics tho, i got into em because my brother would offer to take me and that's how we'd hang out (i rarely saw movies in theaters and i even more rarely went anywhere as a teenager. still kinda like that today tbh ooops) and yk. it just snowballed after that.
my brother and i have always liked comics- he just more than me for a while (though he still very much loves comics and As We Know From My Posts we still talk about them whenever i see him To An Exhausting Degree)
durin then i was really into stony and i have a few surviving doodles i made but those are between me and god. and anyone who asks tbh LOL
'snap can you make this related to x-men again this is long' ok so fast forward to This Summer again I Still Don't Really See Movies but my brother offered to take me and this was the first time i'd actually seen an x-men movie in full
as a kid i only remember seeing the 'perfection' scene between erik and raven in first class while i was channel surfing. pretty sure i changed the channel after seeing mystique naked cause i was scared my parents would get mad at me if they caught me watching it LOL
BUT MOVING ON As A Kid i think it's also natural you'll sometimes watch 92 if it's on And I Did though evidently it didn't stick too hard (i do remember really liking beast and gambit though.... still do really): my knowledge of x-men was. INCREDIBLY sparse. like diabolically so so i didnt have too much expectations (aside from the fact i vaguely liked deadpool beforehand).
tbh i dont know why my bro never took me to see any of the x-men movies. it's not like he doesn't Also like x-men (90% sure nightcrawler's his favorite but my brother will be caught dead saying he has absolute favorites like that)- he owns a bitch load of deadpool comics/omnibus sets too (of which ive read over the years and reread this year) but Shrug moving on
Much Like Most Of The Internet i fell down the rabbit hole that way. i have some doodles i made a couple days after seeing WxDP that i now have an excuse to throw at all of you Look And Perceive
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and so. As I Do. i got curious and told myself i'd binge watch all the x-men movies the week before i went back to school And Then I Did ft. My Brother Sometimes and then i said i'd binge watch all of '92 and And I Did That ft. My Brother Sometimes But Less So and now we're here. currently watching Evolution...
once i got to school i realized i lived near a comic shop and started getting into the comics that way (the first ones i got since going down this rabbit hole was Magneto Was Right!, The Resurrection of Magneto, and The Trial of Magneto. if you were curious !!!!! clearly i didnt care too much about context i just needed to see My Guy jelvejlkvj i have no regrets and Evidently ive read more since)
i'm pretty sure what dragged me into cherik specifically was the fact i saw a clip of The Famous ending to 92 where erik's aghast at the notion jean even has to question his love for charles. i think that was what officially had me refocus my lens on them: not a single poolverine thought after that LOL (all the cherik posting i saw on twitter definitely helped too but that was the nail in the coffin for any other interests i had: i was locked into cherik and x-men in general now)
that clip specifically, i was surprised at the fact they- frequently even- have the x-men franchise say erik loves charles and vice versa so bluntly. even if it's not meant to be romantic, i fear im just a fan of how casually the word's thrown around with them two and i got tender bout it all. Then Yk. i just live for the drama. the hilarity even. the sincerity .... they make me sick if i think of them too long so im gonna end it here
before i go tho ironically enough, the first x-men issue i owned was This one (story a this is that while stuck in some wacko dimension charles accidentally gets himself trapped in logan's mind while utilizing his astral projection. if you were curious). pretty sure i got it for free with another comic set i got years ago since our old comic shop loved to do that, but it's poetic aint it. maybe ill doodle something referencing it..
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i should probably look into finishing this arc someday im Dummy curious to even know how it started and how it ends.....
#snap chats#usually this onea them posts i ramble bout in the tags but i have photos and this is Long long so .. i use the main body for once ...#sorry i gave a biography but i never talk to people and i also love typing. im one of those party can-of-worms i fear#i feel like i could talk about this forever because x-men itself has never been super prominent in my childhood#it was just kinda there in the background BUT comics themselves have always been with me. theyre a keystone to me i think#but yeah. x-men definitely sticks a lot harder than avengers does now OOPS this is not me taking shots i am just SAYING#i have a lot of old marvel doodles tbh .. i found an old deadpool one i remember drawing with my bro during a car ride#kinda funny how much my bro and i bond i dont think of it much but I Guess thats another reason why comics are special to me#we dont bond much- i dont bond with my fam in general tbh we're kinda. Isolated in a way LOL so its cool we're tight at least#if you wanna go deeper bout Comics And My Family my dad really liked comics growing up- more dc tho maybe#apparently he used to draw hulk a lot but if he did those drawings are loooong gone.. at least i know who to blame for me drawing#he loves superman tho. i remember id get embarrassed watching superhero cartoons and superman was on screen when he was around#for some reason i thought id get in trouble if he caught me watching superman but when he did once he was real happy so. tf wrong with me#he loves to say hes superman a lot and id be like Dad... Stop... LMAO but in the cheesiest way possible he do be my hero so. accurate ig#but yeah thats my origin story for why i like comics again thank you for reading if you actually read all that#and sorry it got all sappy Unfortunately i be like that sometimes. i am very emotionally constipated and i over explain a lot#ok i fr gonna end it here im gonna keep going by accident if i thinka any longer and i have stuff i still have to do
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breadboylovin · 2 months ago
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dude if something gay doesnt happen to me soon i might actually go insane
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girlthativealwaysbeen · 3 days ago
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i think growing up is just life repeatedly sucker punching you and saying bitch you thought things were gonna better lmao no you're so naive and stupid for having hope in 20 years the world will be flaming bag of garbage and no matter how hard you work you'll get eliminated at some point
#and then you just have to get up and keep living anyway because what else is there to do?#but man my heart keeps feeling heavier with every blow#2024 has literally been the worst year ever god personally too#like everytime i think it can't possibly get worse than this it does#i remember literally 9th jan i had such a horrible breakdown in an auto because the first friend i ever made#after school was leaving my work and therefore my life#9 days into the year. seriously. and i was so happy on 8th because it was my birthday#i don't know im trying hard to think okay this doesn't even affect me it's fine im privileged enough that even my own countrys politics#barely affects me#but just. india is already so behind in everything. if developed nations are doing shit like this then well#it will never get better right like who do we even strive to be#i want to get more into indian politics but my god. it's so horrifying and depressing all the time#like i remember resolving to follow politics closely few years ago and the first news#i read was about some minister talking about how girls skirts lengths IN SCHOOL is the reason boys do sa and boys will be boys etc etc#i know i could just follow business news stuff like that god knows it'll help in my field but it just. doesn't resonate with me doesn't#make me feel anything at all. like i so desperately want to care about ooh stock markets and how to grow your money etc etc#but when i think about being rich enough to invest idle money all i can think is sitting in my own home peacefully#drinking a glass of cold coffee and just being able to breathe freely because me and my sister used to joke in childhood#when dad went thru a coffee v bad for health phase and he wouldn't let us drink it so we would drink it very sneakily#at night when he was asleep or went out for an hour and make absolutely no noise while mixing the sugar. we said that we know#we'll* know we have achieved true freedom and happiness in life when we can peacefully drink cold coffee in the hall and not secretly#in the dead of night in our room#i don't even know what im talking about and my period is late again and nothing is working and my lazer focus#that i had built in the past few weeks is gone because suddenly im like what is the point????#i just don't understand how the fuck humans can fight over stupid fucking things like who is kissing who and who is doing what with their#body instead of focusing on collective issues like our planet is dying so fucking fast and every summer is getting impossibler to survive#i hate that the united states control the UN fuck this world fr man i hate being born in such horrible helpless times#like call me a kid or dumb or whatever but i cannot understand how MILLIONS of people do not#have sympathy for ppl around them and who don't care about the planet at all like how????? how did you grow up????#not trying to boast but this is so natural to me!!! didn't you make save water save earth posters in school!!! didn't anyone
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mel0deon · 1 year ago
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im just rewatching a lot of stuff so hear me out
with the adventure 99 kids, the only way they know how to interact with digimon is if the world is at stake. there is a definite Divide of the human and digital world. the hikarigaoka and odaiba fog incident seals the deal with them. next time theyre called, diaboromon is rampaging the internet, and they can finally see their friends again. they had to part ways, and deal with growing without them first.
with the 02 cast, the worlds intertwine. they deal with enemies that interact with them in both worlds and have influence in both. by episode 50, the digimon being at home is a pretty open secret. they do everything together and in the 02 cast were a part of the incidents.
thats why kizuna was so jarring for them. at least taichi, yamato and sora. with the digimon now being more known, they could take them to class. they could have lunch out with them. however, there is definitely a cloud of 'I have only seen them in a life-threatening situation, what can I do with them' thoughts that's blocking them from having fun with them.
jou's arc in adventure especially speaks out to me. his issues are especially why he and gomamon are still together. its because of the issues at home. in the digital world, he learns the value of reliability in his own way. his own choice, as both a Chosen Child and as a person.
dealing with problems that relate to human social issues is hard for the 99 digidestined because all they know dealing with problems is to fight their way through it. it doesn't pass their thoughts that the digimon themselves are related to their own personal issues.
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yeonban · 1 month ago
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Nothing worse for Tobias OR Elijah than the people they like actively ignoring them. :/ They get ignored once (<-*for a day or longer) and they immediately start considering killing themselves in the public square. For different reasons though
#◜✧ . ❪ muse. tobias. ❫#◜✧ . ❪ muse. elijah. ❫#suicide /#Elijah contemplates it bc he's genuinely hurt 😭 meanwhile Tobias contemplates it bc at least THAT WAY they'll pay attention to him#Blud staging a whole execution in the public square to stop being ignored 😭😭😭 what's worse is you can't even tell if he means it or not#like yea it could be dramatics. OR he could have tossed a coin that landed on 'yea kys' so he figured sure let's try 💀 emphasis on Try#That said Elijah & Tobias are different on who can bring this about bc Elijah feels dejected if Anyone he knows ignores him#doesn't even matter if they're just friendly acquaintances or rather the love of his life#Tobias on the other hand feels mildly annoyed abt it if it's sb he's set on getting the attention of (<-applies ONLY to ppl he's close to)#so anyone from acquaintances to allies don't matter. if you're FRIENDS however...#he's gonna print out an invitation to his funeral and hand it to you in person while he spews some dramatic bs 😭😭😭#However this has its limits too. If the person ignores him for Too long (aka he grows bored of the situation and their lack of interest)#he'll do such a quick 180 you'll get whiplash. like you'd fr wake up one day to no trace of this man ANYWHERE! 😭#Goes w/o saying that if he grows bored of you he not only abandons YOU but you can also say goodbye to your friendship. He dgaf no more!!#So you can obviously ignore him in the friendly meanness way but beware of how Long you're holding up the act 🙄#This is smth he and Elijah are similar on 😭 Elijah would continue to care abt the person indefinitely but he too would vanish Forever#Don't ignore Elijah At All. You can ignore Tobias up to a day or so and he could find it funny but not any longer than That 🤧#Anw I'm off to snork mimimiland but I hope to be on here when I'm done w class!!! GN EVERYONE 😘#(ignore the typos. my phone decided to autocorrect everything that was... already correct 😐 chrisphobia in broad daylight)
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pa-pa-plasma · 2 months ago
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every day i think about that person on here who was crying that if you have a uterus & don't like kids & choose not to have any that means you're abusive & should be forced to have kids & there were like thousands of people agreeing & i wonder if they know that is literally the opposite of both feminism & preventing children from being abused
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orcelito · 5 months ago
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I officially finished my 4th iwatex game, and am somehow already halfway through my 5th
I have 96 hours logged. I started playing this game only 10 days ago.
Heck.
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robinsnest2111 · 1 year ago
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just saw a recipe video for a cake that looks just like a cake my late grandma used to make and now I got tears streaming down my face oops
#like. she died so suddenly and with the whole inheritance and oops my uncle is an evil bastard actually fiasco#and my parents never having the time to visit more than twice a year i never got to ask her for her recipes#ever since her death i thought i'd never get to taste or see that cake again#BUT HERE IT IS RIGHT BEFORE MY EYES. WITH A RECIPE DETAILING HOW TO DO IT. WHAT#i think i never really worked through her passing away. i'm still crying...#screw difficult family dynamics and situations that made it almost impossible to bond with relatives fr#all i have is that idealised image of her during the holidays. cooking up a storm in the kitchen#making delicious food. organising the easter egg hunt around the garden for us kids#decorating the christmas tree and preparing little treat platters with chocolate and clementines for us kids...#man i miss her.... wish i could've spent more time with her... talked about knitting and sewing and cooking#and growing plants and veggies. she used to have a greenhouse in the back garden. her tomatoes were the best#all the different shades of red orange and yellow. some even green!#i can almost taste them...#damn... i miss her so much... i also miss my early childhood. when it was just me and my cousin and her and grandpa#when they'd babysit us over the weekend. the walk to the little village bakery down the main road. the handmade sweet raisin bread...#the chocolates my grandma used to have around the house with the adorable kittens on the box...#really missing my grandma tonight...
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suffarustuffaru · 2 years ago
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unfinished genderbend au things from a while ago…. yes i called gluttonybaru a bitch 😳😳😳😳 i explain the design choices in the tags…
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arolesbianism · 11 months ago
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I <3 transmasc Wendy because it adds another thing to the kid who does not know how to handle anything being thrown into everything pile but instead of a thing like dead sister it's the prospect that he kind of likes having short hair and the idea of being a guy and it still makes him feel like the world is ending until suddenly the ppl around him are just like fine with it and everything is like cool actually and he melts over that too until finally he's just a normal baby trans person and can get back to being bad at coping with his other hashtag issues again
#rat rambles#starve posting#like I do have dead serious wendy trans thoughts tm even some that actually relate to his quotes high bar I know gkfndkd#its just so fun reading him as a trans egg thats one breakdown away from being smashed#and also gives me some yummy tasty thoughts abt both wendy and abby and the inivertable fact that as time goes on the only remnant of#abby's face is going to shift and change more until it can no longer even be a reminder of what was lost#which must be a Horrifying idea to wendy even if chances are he hasn't rly internalized this concept yet#and for abby especially if you're like me and go for a more silhouette style ghost design for her youve gotta imagine how fucky it is to#watch your twin grow up and change in ways you never will#Im also a agender abby who will likely never realize believer because shes just like younger me fr#like shes low key just me as a little kid but without the anxiety disorder#anyways back to the topic of wendy genderism Im honestly surprised Ive never seen a he/him wendy hc before#Im not surprised at not finding any trans guy wendys but there rly isnt much variety in nonbinary wendys despite it being fairly common#I just like trans guy wendy cause he gives me those vibes#its the weird little girl to cringe fail trans man pipeline or smth idk#give him a couple years eventually he'll be a grimy lil freak of a teenage boy#if abby didnt die and knew abt gender stuff itd still take her 30 years minimum to even consider she might be not a girl maybe#not because she's hard in denial abt gender stuff shes just is in the classic headspace of 'well I dont Think I care so I must be cis ig'#same with my aro abby hcs but walter is super not helping#as Ive said before they are aro echo chamber besties dont try to tell them romance is real they will not believe you#hey better then whateve the fuck wendy would have to go through if one of the trans men around him offered solidarity#I would rather die than get advice from wilson are you kidding me#the only somewhat normal trans guy there is warly but hes french so it cancels out
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mercumeme · 1 year ago
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Not to be a fucking incel but I yearn for attention from women
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