#long before there was a mainstream conversation about it

[edge-oftheworld]

real talk though how much of their success was facilitated by the fact liz hemmings sees 'child with adhd' and thinks 'future world renowned musician' and just invested so much love and time and money into nurturing not only her own child's ambitions but also these two kids he brought home from school and the table drummer from her year 9 math class of 2009

[neonacidtrip]

Does anyone else occasionally see a news update from someone and just turn into a feral animal over it? Asking for a friend

[pandoraspurgatory]

seeing your hc of katsuki being into vanilla homemade porn has me dazy eyed 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫….. i’m so curious now if there were any specific porn creators you thought of when envisioning what he liked? or any who you think would fuck like katsuki? goodness… 😵‍💫

Turbulent

Truthfully I am not a porn watcher as I am a porn reader, so that question is far beyond my knowledge lol. Though I’ve written an in depth version of Katsuki watching porn, hope you enjoy<3

Katsuki Bakugo can’t get off on mainstream porn, though something changes when he finds a couples homemade video

Katsuki Bakugo likes vanilla porn, masturbation, cum, pretty vanilla here, mentions of facefucking + cuckholding, Denki and Mineta are bitchless

Katsuki never cared enough nor paid much attention to porn, stroking himself in his bedroom wasn’t worth the effort when he could spend his time training and honing his skills as a 3rd year student close to graduating.

Either it was that, or the fact that he just couldn’t cum from it.

He first gave it watching porn a go when Denki and Mineta spent the afternoon yapping about different genres of porn. He wasn’t an eavesdropper, though he listened in on the conversation, taking notes for a later date.

Bakugo only ever found himself rubbing one out when he woke up with a painful hard on, or got so worked up over some fantasy that he couldn’t get his dick back down.

That same night Katsuki sat infront of his laptop, legs open and pants discarded on the carpeted floor, a bottle of lotion splayed out on the bed next to him. He opened up the first website that appeared after typing ‘porn’ in his browser, incognito mode on of course, he had double checked. Hastily typing what he had overheard in the orange and black search bar.

‘Face fucking’

He grimaced as he clicked on the first video of some Internet whore with a fat cock stuffed down her throat. Mascara running down her face as she started her assault of sucking on the comically large dick. He could somewhat imagine himself doing it, though the drool and mess was a massive turnoff that made him feel sticky just watching it. Next

‘Cuckholding’

The moment it appeared on his screen after searching a lot made sense regarding Denki and Mineta. Of course they were into this shit, why the fuck did he even decide to listen on to those morons conversation. He was confident he could never be into this. Next

The next hour was filled off him stroking his half erect cock to mediocre videos with no luck. He’d even watched the top most recommended on the site, the drum beat before each video posing as a reminder that this wasn’t working. At this point it wasn’t even to get himself off, but rather to prove to himself he could find a video to do it for him.

None of this shit on his laptop could even remotely turn him on, there was no love or intimacy, just videos of devoid eyes and lacklustre movements that screamed ‘I want to get home and get my paycheck!’.

He hated to admit it, though he couldn’t ever imagine himself having a one night stand or watching these emotionless videos again. Despite his rough and calloused nature, he craved intimacy just as much as he craved to be the best in his class. Katsukis cock lay limp in his hand as he scrolls through the videos, more and more loading after each roll of the laptop mouse.

That was until a certain video caught his eye.

‘Our first video - couple homemade’ 12 views, posted 2 hours ago

He clicked on it, something felt different about this one. The thumbnail displaying what seemed to be a couple in their mid twenties, kissing in the frame of the video. The women had long black hair and sexy curves that made Katsukis dick twitch. The man she was with cupping her face gently with deep admiration for her in his eyes.

As the video slowly played out on his screen, he paid no mind to the humming background noise of their bedroom fan and the shitty resolution. What struck him was the way they kindly talked to each other, pressing small yet passionate kisses on each others faces, how their soft hands rubbed and stroked at one another with care and love.

Katsukis hand roughly gripped around his dick before he could even think to do it. Feeling himself desperately stroke faster each time the couple said sentences of care and sweet nothings to each other. Low moans he didn’t anticipate escaping his mouth as the man slowly inserted himself into the curvy brunette. He wasn’t even attracted to the couple in the video, though he couldn’t help but feel the coil in his stomach build as the intimacy of their love making displayed itself before him.

He wanted to be the one to do it, to bury his cock into his hypothetical girlfriend and dick her down with all the love in his heart. Apart of him felt weird for not being turned on by the professionally made studio porn instead of the homemade couple video with a total of 500 pixels. He tried not to think about it too hard, and focus on how hard his shaft throbbed in his hands.

He felt blissed out as he slowly edged himself, determined to cum at the same time as the couple, a desperately attempt at feeling included. Squeezing his tip harder every time pretty moans escaped their mouths, fuck he wanted to be in their position so badly.

“F-fuck babe… mmmnggg… gonna cum”

“That’s it, come for me pretty girl”

“Cum with me! I wanna feel you cum inside me”

Katsukis stomach felt hot, he was so turned on by the way they spoke to each other, the way they both quickened their movements desperate to make each other cum.

The moment the couple on the screen cried out in pleasure, Katsuki gave a few quick tugs, finishing himself off.

He gave out an embarrassingly loud groan as he released himself, ropes of his cum shooting onto his laptop screen. Panting as he laid back on his bed, he needs someone to do this with as soon as fucking possible

[veganineden]

On the Evolution of “Happily Ever After” and Why “Nothing Lasts Forever”

A reflection inspired by Good Omens 2

One of my favorite Tumblr posts on the second season of Good Omens 2 was actually not about the series at all, but our reaction to it, primarily the ending. @zehwulf wrote, “I think a lot of us—myself included—got a little too comfortable with assuming [Aziraphale and Crowley would] work on their issues right away post-Armageddon.” We did the work for them through meta, fanfiction, fanart, and building a plethora of headcanons. Who among us AO3-surfing fans didn’t read and love Demonology and the Tri-Phasic Model of Trauma: An Integrative Approach by Nnm?

In the 4 long years since season one was released, we did more than seek to understand and repair rifts between two fictional beings: we were forced to reckon with ourselves too. We faced a global pandemic, suffered traumatizing losses and isolation, and were forced to really and truly look into the face of our atrocities-ridden and capitalistic world. The mainstream rise of Diversity, Equity, Inclusion and Justice work, and our participation in this work, showed us that the systems in place were built to oppress and harm most of us, and they are. 

So, what does this have to do with the evolution of “happily ever after”? 

My friend put it best in a conversation we had following the season finale, when she pointed out a shift in media focus. The “happy end” in old stories about wars and kingdoms used to be “we killed the evil old king and put a noble young king in his place and now citizens can live in peace” and we’re transitioning into a period of “we tore down the whole fucking monarchy.” 

If we look at season one, written to follow the beats of a love story, it comforted us by offering a pretty traditional happy ending pattern: you get your fancy dinner with your special someone, the romantic music plays, and you have a place to call your own. Season one’s finale provided a temporary freedom for Aziraphale and Crowley, the “breathing room,” but it didn't solve the problem that was Heaven and Hell, or the agendas belonging to those systems of oppression. 

Is it good enough to keep our heads down, pretend the bad stuff isn’t happening, and live our own personal happy endings until we die? Moral quandaries aside, if you don't die (or if you care about the generations after you), then, like Aziraphale said, it “can’t last forever.” There’s a clear unpleasant end to the “happily ever after” that’s based on ignoring our problems– it’s the destruction of our relationships, and humanity. 

Ineffable Bureaucracy can go off into the stars because they do not care about humanity. 

You know who does?

Aziraphale. 

And Aziraphale knows that Crowley cares about humanity too. (He knows because Crowley was the one who proposed sabotaging Armageddon in the first place, who only invited him to the stars when he thought all was lost, because Crowley would save humanity if he thought it was possible, and Aziraphale knows Crowley has survived losing Everything before, and he will do all in his power so that Crowley does not need to experience that again.) 

In season one and two, we see how much they care about humanity, beyond their orders, to the point The Systems begin to frown at them. Aziraphale hears Crowley’s offer to run away together in the final episode of season two, to leave Earth behind, and just like the first time that offer was made in season one, he declines. He knows choosing only “us” is not a choice either of them can live with for the rest of eternity.

I believe season 3 will provide an opportunity to “dismantle the system,” but I don’t know how it will play out. I worry that Aziraphale has put himself in the now-dead trope of the “young noble king.” (I wish Crowley had told him why Gabriel was dismissed from his duties.) I worry that he would martyr himself as a sole agent for change. I worry that he doesn’t actually know how to dismantle anything by himself: because you can’t. He needs Crowley. He DOES. He needs Crowley, and Muriel, and other angels and demons and humans without fixed mindsets to help him. Only by learning to listen and making room at the table for all can they (and we) move past personal satisfaction to collective liberation. 

Crowley was right when he said that Aziraphale had discovered his “civic obligations.”

So, I think we will get our modern-day happy ending– and it’s going to involve a lot of pain and discomfort, communication, healing and teamwork– and in the end, it’ll all be okay. There will be a time for rest and a time for “us.” 

And most likely a cottage. 

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”

 - Maya Angelou

Support the SAG-AFTRA strike and other unions. Trust @neil-gaiman. Register to vote if you haven’t yet. Hold yourself and others accountable with compassion. Read books. Keep doing the work. Rest. Then watch Good Omens 2 again.  

[blackkatmagic]

Can I ask why you're so strongly against emojis as comments?

So there are...two parts to this answer. One is in the frame of like...my brain interprets someone dropping an emoji as basically the equivalent of a like. "I was here, but I didn't like what you created enough to say anything about it." And I get that, truly. But due to physical and mental health things in my recent life, writing has been hard. Getting that kind of response is super disheartening, even if I know logically that most people don't see emoji comments the same way I do.

The other part is that I'm old. I've been in fandom for a long time - I was on email lists writing ST fanfic, and then in weird subgroup forums where you were only allowed to write certain things the mods felt were "canon-supported", and then finally on more mainstream sites like ffnet and AO3. Fandom's always been a community for me, right from the first. I would not still be writing if it hadn't been for the handful of fans who were exceptionally kind and encouraging to a nerdy German girl who wrote in bad English and had weird ideas for plotlines and talked too much. They were the people who kept me going, having conversations with me and leaving kind comments on objectively bad fics and getting jazzed about the same things as me.

In fandom as a whole, emoji comments are a very new phenomenon. I've gone back to look, and they only started becoming common about two years ago. And now, before I asked people not to leave them, they were rapidly becoming the majority of the comments I received.

Again, I get why. It's an easy way to show appreciation. But it's also a complete lack of engagement. It means someone liked something! But as the writer you have no idea what. There's no community to it, just bland consumption of the content you're rolling out. No one is talking about fandom, they're just taking. And I see my hit counts. I know that's always happened, but it's getting to be more and more of a thing. Emoji spamming on every single chapter of a 70-chapter fic might feel, to the commenter, like they're being super supportive, but it's also less impactful for a writer and a fellow fan than a person who leaves one comment that says something they liked about the plot or the writing style or some neat flip on a canon trope.

So yeah. Basically it's a "get off my lawn" thing about how the youngsters in fandom have no appreciation for the effort artists and writers and the like put in, but. I don't think I'm wrong, given the way things are trending.

Anyway. Reblog things, comment on things, send people asks, interact with things if you want fandom to keep going, my dudes. Otherwise it's going to die out. And people dropping emojis instead of words 99 times out of 100 is a symptom of that.

[fob4ever]

i was at a bookstore yesterday that had a copy of the kerrang: living loud book that featured the FOB watergun fight article i've never seen transcribed anywhere so i made a transcript of it for archival purposes. enjoy! from kerrang, may 2005.

For a man staring down the barrel of a loaded gun while wearing just underpants, Fall Out Boy bassist Peter Wentz looks remarkably chipper. Especially when you consider the person about to unload in his face is guitarist and vocalist Patrick Stump, grinning madly despite the fact that fellow six-stringer Joe Trohman has a pistol to his temple. He in turn is firmly in the firing line of drummer Andy Hurley, cackling loudly with his finger hovering over the trigger.

Passers-by stop and stare, waiting for the inevitable, messy climax of this "Reservoir Dogs" scenario. The tension mounts, onlookers brace themselves, the band get ready to open fire. Suddenly it happens.

"Argh!" screams Wentz as several litres of icy water soak him. "That's fucking cold!"

No, Fall Out Boy aren't about to blow each other away, They're having a water fight for K!'s benefit in a car park at the Chicago stop on travelling punk circus Warped Tour, where they're knocking out their "softcore" wares ("We're basically a hardcore band that couldn't cut it as a hardcore band," laughs Wentz) on the main stage alongside big hitters like The Offspring, Avenged Sevenfold and My Chemical Romance. The Windy City is more than just another stop for them; Chicago is Fall Out Boy's hometown, the place where they formed out of the ashes of their old hardcore bands, and where they still live with their parents- who are here for today's show - during the few weeks of the year they're not on tour.

It all started for Fall Out Boy here in 2001 when the members wanted a break from playing in their various bands. Long time friends Wentz and Hurley got together with hardcore associate Joe Trohman to do something a bit less heavy. Following a conversation about avant-metallers Neurosis in a bookstore, Trohman introduced Stump to the rest of the band. When their other bands folded, they took on Fall Out Boy full time.

"We wanted to do things before we were ready," chuckles Peter Wentz fondly of the early days of DIY tours for the benefit of the one or two people who would show up. "We'd plan two-week tours, just to see the world. Nobody would book us, so we had to do it all on our own."

"A lot of bands have scenes to go into and surround themselves with those people," says Stump. "We had no scene, so we would just play anywhere, with whoever."

FOB have come a long way from their humble roots. Right now they're America's fastest rising band. Radio smash 'Sugar, We're Goin' Down' has placed them squarely in the mainstream, having spent three weeks as the Number One song on MTV's 'TRL', a prime-time show usually devoted to pop acts like Maroon 5 and Ashlee Simpson. So dizzying their Stateside assent has been, they had to cancel their recent European tour in order to play the MTV Music Video Awards, where they are also nominated for 'Sugar...'. Thankfully, FOB haven't let the screaming adoration turn them into big-headed twats.

"A piece of shit with legs on it could walk onto 'TRL' and people would still go crazy," laughs Wentz. "That stuff just goes straight by me. With the fast turnover in the music industry, how can anyone have an ego"

Andy Hurley chips in. "You can be today's main stage and tomorrow's trash."

That's to find out tomorrow, though. Today among the madness of trying to plan anything on the Warped Tour - stage times are decided daily by lottery - Fall Out Boy have to try and find time for hanging out with family and friends.

"Three weeks on Warped is like three months on a normal tour," says Peter Wentz.

"Home becomes like Atlantis on tour, you wonder if it actually exists after a while," adds Patrick Stump.

Now FOB are big stars, a lot of old 'friends' have been coming out of the woodwork. Joe Trohman and Peter Wentz have polarised views on those who didn't give a toss back in the day suddenly becoming your pal once you've made it.

"The way I look at it is if someone's a dick to you and you don't know them, so what?" says Trohman. "Just care about who did support you, keep those important people close, not the people who five years ago called you a loser."

"I work the opposite way!" Wentz counters, before adding darkly, "The people I think about most are enemies. My brain works on revenge!"

Though a tight knit group of close friends, Peter Wentz is clearly Fall Out Boy's spokesman. He does most of the talking during the interview and writes the lyrics, and seems like the most driven one of the lot. As well as doing Fall Out Boy, Wentz has also written a book with tattoo artist Joe Tesaure, 'The Boy With The Thorn In His Side'. It's a dark, twisted tale that could have come straight from the brain of Tim Burton.

"I've always been into Roahl Dahl and people like that, and I was friends with a tattoo artist at the time and we came up with this idea to do a book together," he explains. "It wasn't something I felt fitted in with what Fall Out Boy is, I hate when bands do something that's not 'them'. The book is what it is, and Fall Out Boy is what we are."

Despite all thise talk of nightmares and revenge, FOB are upbeat individuals, enjoying their newfound success, while refusing to allow success to go to their heads. They'll tell you they don't like the shallowness of groupies or industry parties, and that the trappings of rock stardom hold no appeal.

"I don't feel like I deserve it," says Wentz in closing. "It's not like, 'this amount of time and this amount of shows = this kind of bus'. I appreciate what we've got. We've toured in a tiny van and it was cool, but now we're having new adventures living like this. I don't feel we deserve it more than any other bands do."

He surveys the sumptuosly appointed tour bus for a moment before chuckling heartily.

"Actually, that's a lie, we totally deserve it more than anyone else! Ha ha!"

[tiredandoptimistic]

"Early 21st Century Romanticism" truly is one of the Community episodes ever for a variety of reasons, but I'm a Saw enjoyer so I'm gonna talk about the scene where Troy defends Abed to Mariah, and specifically defends his love of the Saw franchise. It's not just representative of Troy and Abed's relationship, but also of horror and neurodiversity and how those subjects are so easily ignored and discredited.

For those of you who haven't watched the episode recently, it's about Troy and Abed both crushing on the same woman (Mariah, the librarian) and deciding that the only fair way to resolve this is for her to take both of them to the Valentine's Day dance, and decide afterwards which one she wants to date further. Mariah is down for this plan, and ends up preferring Troy and sending Abed away. Abed is chill with this, but Troy clearly isn't; spending his dance with Mariah grilling her on why she would possibly see Abed as anything less than the perfect date. She has a couple reasons, one of which being that he spent two hours analyzing the Saw movie franchise. She eventually calls Abed "weird," causing Troy to storm off and reunite with his boyfriend best friend outside in peace, but I'm gonna focus on that bit about Saw because that's who I am as a person.

Before I go any further, it's important to remember that Saw is a largely hated franchise. Well, "hate" might be a strong word, but it's definitely looked down upon as worthless torture porn for the depraved. Troy is not a horror guy. I'm not a horror guy either, which is why I haven't actually watched the later Saw films and am content to enjoy them purely through my friends who are more down for gore and batshit plot twists ( @cape-wearing-enigma this is about you and your Saw slideshow presentation). My point is, Mariah's clear distaste for Saw and her opinion that it's "weird" to put two hours worth of thought into it is pretty damn standard, and just based on Troy's personal tastes I wouldn't be surprised if he agreed.

But the thing is, he doesn't.

He continues defending Abed's taste in films and his interest in talking about them, because to Troy it's not about enjoying Saw it's about enjoying listening to Abed get passionate about anything he cares about. His line about how "the first one did redefine the genre" in particular sounds so polished and is delivered with such ease that I'm confident it's something Troy is repeating that he heard Abed say, that he's got complete faith in it being true because it's what Abed thinks.

That, more than anything, is what sells the episode to me. I really relate to Abed in that I'm someone who can and will talk for hours about my interests, and those interests are often things which aren't generally considered to be "good" (oh the joy of trying to explain that I'm not into something for a bit or because it's "so bad it's good," I just genuinely love it and think it's great), and it's one thing to be able to hold a conversation with someone who shares those interests but it's a lot harder to find somebody who just likes hearing why you care about them.

Now, I'm aware that Saw is a popular mainstream franchise, but that's not the point here. Mariah isn't weirded out by Abed liking Saw, it's by him talking about it for so long. It's okay for you to watch when a new one comes out or do a marathon for Halloween, but once you start actually caring and putting thought into a "dumb" franchise then you're the weird one.

Horror is one of those genres (alongside romance and comedy) that are just seen as inherently low-brow and simple by a lot of people, like they have no value besides being easy watches and are easy to pull off in a compelling way. Which is wild! Even if you don't actually have deeper thoughts about a movie, if it genuinely scared you then that means the creators did something right and that takes effort! Good horror deserves to get credit, but instead it's just all lumped together into one mass that it's apparently okay to talk shit about.

I won't make statements about the entire Saw franchise, but as someone who loves the first one, I firmly believe that Saw (2004) is genuinely a really fucking good movie. If Abed had ignored the rest of the films and just talked about the first one for two hours, he'd still have plenty of material.

I'm not sure that I have a conclusion here, I just think it's awesome to see one of my favorite characters getting so into something I also enjoy, and one of my favorite parts of Troy and Abed's relationship is that even when they don't completely agree they still support and respect each other. This is yet another example of when it would have been so easy to make Abed the butt of the joke, but instead Troy (and the show) decides that actually Mariah is the weird one if she can't appreciate him.

[rogueddie]

On and On / Figure You Out

Corroded Coffin are at the peak of their popularity. They're not mainstream, or in any way big, but they're known enough that they're kept busy. Touring as an opening act, special appearences in little underground places...

Eddie hasn't been home for months. He'd known that he'd most likely be kept away when their manager started talking to them excitedly about all the opportunities.

He hadn't expected it to take such a toll on his and Steves relationship.

It had taken him a while to notice the problems too. He's always so tired after gigs... it takes him two weeks to notice how tired Steve sounds.

"Are you ok?" He blurts, as soon as he notices.

"I'm fine," Steve says.

Eddie can hear the lie.

"Are you tired?" He pushes. "Long day?"

"No. You don't need to worry about me. What were you saying about Jeff? Something about a solo, right?"

No, Eddie wants to scream. I was talking about us!

He doesn't say that though. He rattles off the things that happened in their last show- the things that are interesting, anyway. He doesn't mention how hard it had hit him, after the show, how lonely he is.

It's the same sort of conversation they always have. There isn't really anything different.

It feels different.

After saying their goodbyes, hanging up, Eddie hovers by the phone for a few minutes. Long enough for the others, who had been waiting nearby, to worry.

"Eddie?" Jeff is the one to walk over, putting a hand on his shoulder. "You ok, man?"

"Yeah," Eddie replies, automatically. But, frowning, he starts shaking his head. "No. I don't know. It's..."

"Hey, stay calm, it's ok. Did something happen? Is Steve ok?"

"Yeah, it... no. No. Nothing happened, but... I just have this feeling, man, like something really bad is happened and I'm seeing it too late and now-"

"Hey, hey, Eddie, breathe. Whatever it is, we'll help you out, ok? We can fix this, right?"

"Right," Eddie says. He looks to Gareth and Grant, then back to Jeff. "I need to go home. I need..."

"It's that big? Are you sure you're not overreacitng?"

"I don't know. I don't want to risk it. Like, it feels like something is about to break. I can't fix it from here- if I wait, it'll be too late, and-"

"Ok," Jeff cuts in, turning to gesture the other two over. "You go home, we'll find someone to cover for a few dates."

"I know someone who could cover for Chicago," Gareth offers.

"Thank you," Eddie manages to choke out. He knows it's not enough but, by their expressions, they at least understand some of what he can't bring himself to say.

"Go get your man," Grant encourages. "We'll be fine."

"Thank you," Eddie repeats. "So much, it-"

"Jesus, man!" Gareth cuts in, nudging him. "We know. We love you too. Now, go!"

"Go," Jeff says, nodding, when Eddie looks to him. "He won't wait forever, right?"

It takes too long to get a flight back to Indiana, and even longer to find a taxi willing to take him all the way to Hawkins. It ends up taking him 36 hours to get home, to get to Steve, after the phone call.

Steve is sleeping on the couch when he gets in, curled up in one of Eddies old sweaters.

"Sweetheart," Eddie whispers, brushing his hair back, gentle and soft.

Steve mumbles, nose scrunching in annoyance as he wakes up. He blinks at Eddie a few times, confused. "Eds? What- how are you here?"

"I missed you." Eddie isn't sure why he's whispering. The moment feels so fragile. "I needed to see you."

"But your tour-"

"Can wait. You're more important."

"What about that, uh... upward swing?" Steve pulls his hand off his hair, holding in both his own. "Once in a lifetime opportunity, right?"

"I don't care about that. On the phone, you... I had to come home, Stevie. You sounded so... I don't know. Tired?"

Steve is quiet for a moment, before admitting; "I missed you. Doesn't feel like home when you're gone."

"Good job I'm back then, huh?"

"For how long? One night and then you're gone again?"

"Forever, if you want. Or I can drag you out with us. Whatever it takes. Whatever you need."

"Just... don't leave me for so long."

"I won't. I promise."

"Ok," Steve finally smiles. It's a small, frail thing, but it's a smile. "Thank you, Eds. For coming here."

"Anytime." Eddie kisses the back of his hand. "Seriously, anytime. Call me and I'll come running. Whenever and whatever. I love you, so much. You know that, right?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I know. I love you, too."

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Dave Jamieson at HuffPost:

The co-chair of Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump’s transition team promoted the debunked theory that vaccines cause autism in a CNN interview Wednesday. He also said Trump ally Robert F. Kennedy Jr., hopes to get “data” through a Trump administration to have vaccines pulled “off the market.” Howard Lutnick, the billionaire CEO of investment bank Cantor Fitzgerald and a longtime friend of Trump’s, told the network’s Kaitlan Collins that vaccines are “not proven” to be safe. Lutnick said he’d recently been schooled on vaccines by Kennedy, the failed independent presidential candidate and anti-vaxxer who has endorsed Trump. Kennedy has said he would have significant influence over public health policy if Trump wins the White House. “So, I spent two-and-a-half hours this week with Bobby Kennedy Jr., and it was the most extraordinary thing. Because, let’s face it, we’ve all heard on the news all sorts of sort of snarky comments about him,” Lutnick told Collins. Recounting his conversation with Kennedy, Lutnick went on to link autism to the growth of vaccines — a discredited idea that dates back to a retracted study from 1998 — before Collins interrupted to remind viewers Lutnick is not a scientist. “Hang on,” the anchor said. “OK, neither of us are doctors. Vaccines are safe.” “Why do you think vaccines are safe? There’s no product liability anymore. They’re not proven,” Lutnick said.

“Because they’re proven. Kids get them and they’re fine,” Collins said. “Why do you think they’re fine?” Lutnick responded. A Trump spokesperson did not immediately respond Thursday morning when asked if the campaign stood by Lutnick’s comments. Lutnick went on to say that Kennedy wants vaccines pulled off the market ― and that Kennedy hopes a Trump administration could get him the data to accomplish that. “He wants the data so he can say, ‘These things are unsafe,’” Lutnick said. “He says, ‘If you give me the data, all I want is the data, and I’ll take on the data and show that it’s not safe. And if you pull the product liability, the companies will yank these vaccines right off ― off of the market.’ So that’s his point.”

The former president himself has long voiced skepticism of vaccines and has promised to cut funding for schools that require them, playing into anti-vax conspiracy theories that have gone mainstream in the Republican Party. (All states have variations of laws requiring certain vaccines.)

Appearing on CNN’s The Source Wednesday night, Trump transition team co-chair Howard Lutnick made the anti-vaxxer extremists happy by endorsing a plan to yank vaccines off the market. Host Kaitlan Collins defended the safety of vaccines, rebutting Lutnick’s logic-free nonsense.

A vote for Donald Trump is a vote to legitimize anti-vaxxer nonsense like this. Vote Kamala Harris for sound vaccine science!

From the 10.30.2024 edition of CNN's The Source:

See Also:

Daily Kos: Make Diseases Great Again: Trump team says they're coming for vaccines

[hadesoftheladies]

actually, it’s good for radblr to start talking about the wins of feminism. I know there’s still a long way to go, but there’s actually a lot of progress that feminism has made and I mean A LOT in terms of global society. not only has feminism been one of the best and most powerful social movements ever, but it’s done that nonviolently. female separatism, women resisting and choosing solidarity with each other, women demanding rights, HAS WORKED and it is a spit in the face of these women to say “we’re never going to make it out” simply because it’s still bad in many places. if we keep dismissing feminism as futile, men win. and we shouldn’t because it’s not true! we CAN have separatist societies, and non-separatist societies CAN improve because they have before.

some recent wins are:

-This FIFA World Cup has become the most watched women’s World Cup in history, with 1.5 million tickets sold. Many people are taking women’s football more seriously. I have been seeing videos of men and women packed in pubs to cheer on athletes. Kids are no longer referring to only male athletes as footballer heroes! Men are sharing highlights and admiring the skills of these athletes from a genuine love of the game!

-Barbie topped Oppenheimer at the box office. This movie has sparked so much self-awareness and reflection all over the internet and the world. It is not radical, but it is still culturally impactful. Greta Gerwig is now one of the most respected directors in Hollywood rn.

-Period products are now free in Scotland!

-Latin America is incredibly pro-choice, and different kinds of abortion bans have been lifted.

-FGM in Africa has GREATLY reduced and continues to reduce!

-World Athletics ruled in favor of keeping women’s sports female! This is a huge win for female athletes!

There’s so much more, and we should talk about it. Attitudes can change. These conversations are becoming more mainstream. And feminist activism DOES PRODUCE RESULTS, whether that’s separatism, art, demonstrations, etc. Respect that history!

There are women and (and male allies) right now who are working their asses off to kill the prostitution, human trafficking and porn industries, there are feminist movements within major religions happening, there are girls excelling in academia and getting into male dominated spaces, there are women fighting to make the internet safer and better, there are women working to make period products free and available…pay attention to these things and join whichever fight you can! you will not find yourself alone in your efforts!

we do not wait to see if there is any hope in the world. we create a hopeful world. there IS hope for women, so long as we have it

[weemsfreak]

Desire ♱

⋆Reader's pov and main story (recommend read first)⋆

Jane Murdstone x Fem!reader

♱ Jane's pov here

Summary: When the lady of the village returns after many years and ends up in your place of work, you fabricate a dress for her; and then you follow her. ~5k words

Warnings: obsession, stocking, mention of child abuse, family trauma and father issues (as in Jane/Edward Murdstone 'David Copperfield')

⋆♱✮♱⋆

The bakery, the factory, the church, and the bank.

Places which she ventured on a normal day,

Places which you ventured on a normal day.

Things that she did,

Things that you did.

The gallery, the haberdashery, the manor house gardens.

She was busy,

You were busy.

Wherever she went, you followed.

⋆♱✮♱⋆

The ball rang out, signifying that someone had entered. You ignored it from the next room, not wanting to drop your task at hand.

"Well, I'll be. It has been a long while Miss Murdstone."

You rolled your eyes and mouthed Gladys' words, mocking the dressmaker as you continued to cut out fabric.

"Indeed, it has."

Your hands stopped working at the sound of a voice, gaze slowly raising to the wall as you listened. You heard shuffling to Gladys' workspace, a coat hit the settee.

"How has Blunderstone treated you? Glad to be back at the factory?"

A hum. "It has been a good many years, although a dreadful end I'm afraid. I am glad to be back."

Your eyes flit around the room; the factory? Miss Murdstone?

Oh. OH. The Miss Murdstone of Murdstone village. The sister of factory owner Mr. Murdstone.

You had never met the Murdstone's, but you had heard of them and their reputation in their own village. They had been gone for some ten years; a marriage, you had heard. And it seemed that now, they were back.

You prayed that Gladys wouldn't call you in for help as you were not very confrontational, and you had heard that the lady could be, well, cruel.  

Slowly you continued to cut out fabric, listening in on their conversation as you did.

The contrast of murmuring and sureness calmed you, the new voice in particular was melody to your ears. It was strong yet weak, cold yet warm, confident yet weary, cruel yet sweet; you longed to know what body housed a voice like that.

Inevitably, Gladys called your name from the next room.

You screwed your eyes closed and took a deep breath before dropping everything and heading through the doorway.

"Yes, how can I help-"

Your eyes flit from Gladys to a tall dark figure. One which caught you off guard, before it consumed you.

Ghost white skin sandwiched between midnight hair and a dress to match, the length of which you've never seen the likes of before.

Her gaze was locked onto the wall, until she noticed you staring.

Expectant eyes shot to you and made your heart flutter nervously, you averted your gaze back to Gladys.

It seemed that the only colour this woman possessed was that of her iris', which made them stand out even more.

"Y/n, this is Miss Murdstone."

You moved closer and gave a small bow, eyes on the floor. "How do you do Miss Murdstone."

"Well, thank you."

You nodded with a small smile.

"Help me with this, will you?" Gladys passed you a measure and gestured to her skirts, to which you lifted and got to work.

Black fabric, not something you worked with often, although it was certainly growing on you. You looked between dark and the light of her petticoat, and you wished for the chance to see long legs hidden underneath. Alas, petticoats were not see through.

Miss Murdstone was not a very social woman, though you were not surprised at her lack of emotion or chatter, as there was not much about her that was mainstream.

You stood and helped Gladys with small things, measuring around her bodice, shoulders, and arm length, the lady stiff as a board. Your hands trembled as you worked, which neither woman failed to notice.

You couldn't help but steal glances at the lines in the woman's skin, dark hair tied up neatly, scars and light freckles placed perfectly, as if they were intentional.

You couldn't help but think that she looked as if she was made of wax.

Cold fingers brushed against the pale skin of her neck and she flinched, a string of apologies flowing from your mouth. You stepped away and let Gladys finish the job, the only thing going through your head was how warm the woman was to the touch.

Being sent on your way with the measurements, you began to cut out black fabric. More length added to the sleeves and skirt, waist cinched just a bit.

You worked in the corner of the room, stealing glances at the dark woman though the doorway now and then. When you had left, the women began to make small conversation again; you closed your eyes and listened to her voice.

You hadn't noticed when the bell had rung and she had left, until Gladys walked in.

"A pretty young thing like you shant be intimidated by Miss Murdstone."

Your eyes shot to Gladys as a light blush overtook your cheeks. You were intimidated alright, but not in the way she thought.

You hummed, "Maybe not intimidated, but overtaken."

"Get to work silly girl" she chuckled, pointing down at the barely touched black fabric in your hands.

⋆♱✮♱⋆

You could tell by the way she carried herself through life, by the way that she spoke to people (or didn't acknowledge them at all), that she was cold, iron, wrought, metallic.

Yes, that was it, she was metallic, and she possessed some type of pull. You failed to fight it off with bated breath when dark yet enchanting eyes met yours.

What really pulled you in, however, was her mysterious nature. Her front was menacing, her cruelty was obvious, her exterior freezing anyone who dared cross her path.

She was a delight, far more true than you could ever be.

Being a dressmaker's apprentice, you didn't have every day to venture around Murdstone village. But when you did, you made it worthwhile.

You had been intrigued by her since the day she stepped into the shop, and soon enough, you became attached.

⋆♱✮♱⋆

It was easy to spot her through the crowd of people, being one of the tallest, darkest, and notable around.

You wouldn't say that you stalked her, no, for you ran your errands in the same way as she, and your interests matched hers well.

That became clear when one day you took a stroll through the manor house gardens and found her, admiring the Nettles from afar.

Nettles were not much to the naked eye, and they stung like a bitch when one got close. Alas, their being was important, indispensable, beautiful; like her.

Cold on the outside and warm on the inside.

You sat on a bench next to some Black Calla Lily's, and couldn't help but think about how the flowers reflected the both of you. These particular Lily's caught your eye and drew you in, but get too involved and their toxins could harm you.

Warm on the outside and cold on the inside.

Perhaps you were both deceiving.

Her back faced you tauntingly as you longed to admire her features. You hadn't gotten a satisfying look at her, although you assumed nobody had ever gotten very close.

Holding your breath, she turned to continue down the path, head held high as she gazed straight ahead.

She didn't look your way, she didn't acknowledge you, no, she didn't say a word.

Yet you knew her, you knew she was perceptive, she noticed every detail.

And deep down you knew that she knew you were there.

She always did.

⋆♱✮♱⋆

You were suffering throughout your days and nights, physically unable to get the metallic lady out of your head. You hadn't been this obsessed, this buried, this crazy for a woman.

You knew it was wrong, to want her, to want to know her, to want to feel her dark locks run through your fingers.

You knew it was wrong to watch from afar, even worse to get close; but you couldn't help it.

She was enchanting, she was brooding, she was maddening.

One bright morning you arrived to church early, and placed yourself in the very pew where the Murdstone's always sat. You took the hymnal and prayer books and moved them to another pew, leaving only one set of books available.

After some time, Mr. Murdstone passed the pew, giving you a look of disdain before continuing on.

Your gaze dropped to your lap nervously, unsure as to where she was.

Another moment passed, and you noticed a shadow beside you, then felt a soft brush against your leg.

It was so soft you believed it was imagined.

"Apologies."

Looking over in disbelief, you found the metallic woman beside you, her attention set on the priest.

As the service progressed, you couldn't help but wrack your brain around her being. For as much as you knew her, or at least thought that you did, as much as you saw her, you couldn't tell.

After eyeing her at church a couple days a week, you realized she was a devoted congregant. She gave the impression that she was one who would reprimand for breaking the rules, for not adhering to the faith's principles.

But all the same, she seemed as though she'd like to bend them, challenge society's expectations, and oppose normalcy, as it was obvious she didn't follow every mainstream convention.

You had confirmed recently, after some research, that 'Miss' Murdstone was not married; but for which reason, you wondered often.

Long fingers opened the prayer book and held it still as a stone on her lap, eyes scanning the words slowly.

Silently, you leaned closer, setting your gaze on her as she peered down at you. You smiled, watching her lips twitch and eyes bore into your own in question; then the prayer book was angled so you both could recite together.

⋆♱✮♱⋆

One day, you set out determined for your destination: the gallery.

See, there was not much that you knew, but there were a few things. One being that the gallery bustled with activity on a certain day of the week, and another being that Jane Murdstone was a sucker for all things nice.

The Cultural and Historical collections always inspired you, and allowed you to indulge in the fantasy of a better world, a more interesting world, a world in which you were yourself, truly.

And well, as did she.

As expected, Miss Murdstone made her way around a glass case following the male version of herself. You recognized him immediately, the man of the village.

Watching from the other side of the room, you took note of their differences and similarities. Physical was obvious, they were tall, they were dark, and they were chilling.

Your heart couldn't help but feel heavy, as although she was striking, easily catching your eye even next to her brother, she was the lesser.

It was obvious that she was more brazen, more intelligent, and more capable; alas, he was the man, and she was the woman.

You ran your hand over an artifact, pressing your skin hard into the rough texture.

Glass should cover something so fragile, so special, so significant, you thought, for someone could steal it with the snap of a finger.

You could steal it with the snap of a finger. You wouldn't, however, not now. For you had something far more important to tend to.

A dark figure caught your peripheral, your eyes discreetly landing on the woman as your head stayed focused in the direction of the artifact.

You watched as long fingers ran over a piece opposite, feeling the atoms that made up the world, perhaps a world in which you had yet to know.

You took a deep breath, gaze lifting when her pale hand paused in its track.

You were expecting it, her eyes on her pray, on her goal, on you.

Touché. You respected the effort, the care, the menacing stare, but it was of no use.

You stared back, taking in the elements of her skin, the light in her eyes, and the hate in her heart.

It was incredible, really, how energy made up the universe, how matter was formed, how it could be neither created nor destroyed.

She saw you and you saw her, but nobody spoke a word.

⋆♱✮♱⋆

Miss Murdstone spoke few words to you the couple times that she entered the shop; for her measurements, her dress, and then again when a colleague had tailored a suit for her brother.

You understood that you knew her better than she knew you, for you were just a dressmaker whose name had most likely slipped her mind.

Alas when you watched her on the streets, back and forth with long strides, elegance never faltering, haughtiness never letting up, she never failed to deepen your infatuation.

You admired the way she gave no thought nor care about others' opinions, the way she could allow- feed into the absolute cruelty, perhaps hate that came out of her mouth.

The way she let it happen, the way she lived for it.

You were high as the heavens the one time she had spat at you. It was short, nothing that she thought twice about, but you were truly and utterly drunk on her.

Others you knew, didn't appreciate being spoken down to that way, looked at with a bitter glance, nor dealt with in that sneering tone.

And well, most of the time you wouldn't either.

⋆♱✮♱⋆

The factory, a place of your dreams and nightmares.

In your favour, it wasn't difficult to sneak into at night, the bottles and barrels and wine and corks the only witnesses of your doing.

Their livelihood, their significance, the thing that gave the Murdstone's the justification to be poison; possibility to be ruined within hours.

You ran a finger along a trail of dust as a smirk crept over your face. Mr. Murdstone was too pretentious for his own good, careless perhaps, not too smart it seemed; but you were.

For his sake, and his sake only, it was a damn good thing that his sister had consumed your every thought.

By morning you had tucked yourself deep behind the shelves.

People of every age, those of every kind made their way into the factory, cleaning, filling, corking, labelling, and packaging.

You were caught off guard when you eyed Mr. and Miss Murdstone make their way around the factory, inspecting the work and the workers. They passed by the shelves with a step that felt far too long. You froze at their proximity, for you had no escape.

Letting out a breath, you watched as they halted near a small boy, a boy far too short to reach the corking lever.

"Jump, boy" Mr. Murdstone instructed.

The boy tried, pathetically.

"You should sooner teach the furniture" the lady said to her brother.

You held in a snicker.

"Jane" Mr. Murdstone warned.

You watched as he attempted to jump, Mr. Murdstone frustrated with his lack of effort.

"You will not be switched to another job, boy."

He jumped higher and had yet to reach.

Miss Murdstone turned to her brother with the raise of a brow, "We should switch to a less enjoyable activity."

"JANE."

Mr. Murdstone grabbed the child by his shirt, dragging him to a secluded room and slamming the door with no hesitation.

Miss Murdstone followed with hands clasped in front of her, then you heard grunting and lashing sounds. Your eyes shut and you flinched at the suddenness, whacking your head off a board.

Blue eyes travelled your way, somehow hearing your skull make contact with the wood over the loudness of everything else. The metallic woman looked in your direction, around you, above you, and you could swear it, straight at you. But she couldn't see you through the willful blindness of the bottles and barrels.

Her gaze was averted, however, when a tall boy made his way toward her with intent.

Your eyes widened as you watched him pick up a glass bottle, your brain registering that he most likely wished to protect the child; but harming Miss Murdstone wasn't the way.

With a deepening heart beat you contemplated the fact that you may have to reveal yourself, jump in front of hard glass in shame and remorse before ghostly pale skin turned crimson.

But, as you watched the metallic woman, you noticed her smirk; joy, thrill, and humour behind her eyes.

She faltered for a moment when she noticed the bottle, lips twitching; a moment of hurt. Still, she stood her ground, eyes unblinking.

He couldn’t, he wouldn’t, and she knew.

For they were cruel, they were cold, and they were abusive, perhaps.

But she now had no fear, for she was used to it.

When the boy turned away and you watched her smirk return, chest falling slightly in relief, it made sense.

You realized why she was the way that she was; beaten, bruised, petrifying, and cruel. It wasn't anything new, it wasn't unfamiliar or forced. It was all that she knew.

It was what she knew, it was who she was brought up to be; the little girl, the woman, the one who took care of the men.

The one who listened to their commands but rose to control when they were too coward.

The one who was reprimanded when she spoke her mind but was brought up to be superior all the same.

The girl who said nothing and was harmed for her warmth, now a cold shell of defensive whips and comments; in a woman's body tall enough to make the men resentful.

She was born to love and taught to hate, for she had no choice.

She had no choice.

⋆♱✮♱⋆

The lady had returned to the shop days later with Mr. Murdstone's suit, shoving it into your coworkers' arms.

"You measured incorrectly" she grumbled.

His jaw fell open as he looked it over, scratching at his head, "Where is it incorrect, my lady?"

You held in a laugh as she flung the trousers over his arm and pointed to the hem. "They need to be taken out. He's not lacking in stature like yourself."

Nodding, he made his way to the next room. "I need it finished for tonight" you heard her holler.

"Of course, Miss Murdstone."

You were sat on the settee, sewing a piece and trying your hardest to pretend she wasn't there, hoping you wouldn't have to entertain her.

Alas, as it was, you longed to converse with her, you longed to entertain her.

You longed to run your eyes over her frame, yearned to move closer and take in her deathly smell, her serene eyes and ghostly skin.

You longed to run your hands along the warmth of her neck once again and know that she was real.

Heeled steps approached as your mind went blank and heart began to race. She sat down next to you.

"Men, incompetent" was all that she said.

You felt bad for him, of course you did, but you couldn’t help but snicker at her comment.

"Indeed."

You admired very much that she spoke her mind and wished to give her the ability to feel freely, without reprimand and without judgment.

Attempting to focus back on your work, you were distracted when she withdrew her pocket watch. Busy fingers wrapped around the intricate watch and chain before moving to toy with the money bag and beads hanging off her chatelaine.

A sigh, "I have somewhere to be."

You ignored the burning question in your mind, 'where?'

The woman turned to you suddenly, your gaze shot to hers.

Her dark blues narrowed as if she knew what you were doing: following, admiring, chasing, craving her.

Your heart almost jumped out of your throat as you thought of her knowing, knowing of your attachment, knowing of your enamour, knowing of your desire.

You calmed however, when you realized that you didn't see rage in her eyes, but intrigue; for she had an idea.

"Would you be so kind as to deliver the suit when it is finished?"

You tilted your head at her sickly sweet tone, figuring that it was the only way she knew to get people to bend for her, to get you to bend for her.

But you would bend for her coldness, you would bend for her cruelness, you would bend for her warmth, you would bend for her anyway she'd ask, fake or sincere.

You would bend for her.

Yes you knew of many places, the factory that you should not enter, the bakery, the grocer, the bank, the haberdashery, and her leisurely activities, but you didn't know of her home.

You didn't know her that well.

You stuttered in surprise, "Of- of course."

A smile played at her lips, but you knew you weren't special.

When her dark blue eyes bore into your own and you saw the hate, you knew that her thoughts were nothing but careless, nothing but mean, nothing but questioning.

You wondered how someone could be so…brave? Sadistic? So content with being unliked by others, even intentionally resented.

Lonely? You could say. Perhaps you both had something in common.

She grasped others by the throats and shook them until they gave in for a breath, until they feared her, until they bent.

You wouldn't mind that, not from her, not at all.

You saw it run through her mind with a slight widening of eyes, as if she was attempting to convince herself that her maliciousness was justified.

For you, well you were just a young girl, a little lamb. You were the innocence that she once had and lost, the total opposite of her.

But you, you weren't so convinced.

"Lovely. Gladys will provide my address. I expect it by 5pm."

She stood abruptly and exited the shop, leaving you alone.

⋆♱✮♱⋆

The suit was done by 4pm, you prayed that it would fit perfectly. Not that you were opposed to being rebuked by Miss Murdstone, but you truly wanted nothing but to please her.

Wearing one of your favorite dresses, you set out to the Murdstone's estate, walking through the surprisingly busy streets with curiosity.

The door was open when you arrived, and you were greeted by a maid who was bustling around. They informed you where to take the suit due to their current occupation.

You found yourself nervously knocking on a door in a dark hallway, sure that this was a ruse.

The door swung open quickly at the hand of Miss Murdstone, making you flinch in surprise.

You took in the sight of her in her new black dress, one which you had the pleasure of aiding in the fabrication of. It clung to her figure perfectly, defining strong shoulders and a cinched waist.

Smoothing out the fabric of your dress, you attempted not to drool as you extended the suit out to her.

"Here you are, Miss Murdstone. I hope it meets your satisfaction."

She took the suit from you gently, giving you an expectant look as she stayed silent.

"We're hosting a ball tonight."

You averted your gaze to the window at the end of the hall, nodding in understanding and jealousy.

"I trust that it will be enjoyable."

You watched as she looked you up and down, you felt that this was the most attention she had ever given you.

"I do hope."

Silence. You had much to say, but no will to say it.

Whether it was your imagination or a mutual understanding, your relationship seemed to be based on physicality, lacking verbal connection.

A maid then came barreling up the stairs, carrying many things in preparation of the night. "Miss Murdstone, let's prepare you for the ball."

You watched as she entered Miss Murdstone's chambers and disappeared from your sight, the lady allowing her access. Your eyes flit from the maid to hers, screaming with want for a job which you did not have, did not desire; until now.

She spoke with a tone of genuine disinterest, yet the invitation in itself told you something.

"It will commence at 8pm. You are welcome to join."

⋆♱✮♱⋆  

You had been welcomed into their home, but it felt unsettling all the same. Her unknowing of your presence, or at least not expecting it, gave you the ability to be discreet.

But here, you felt as if something was expected of you, as if she had invited you just to watch you. Ironic.

Few eyes glanced your way as you took your time admiring the Murdstone's estate. Upper class fascinated you, elaborate décor and offerings made you feel envious, yet insignificant at the same time.

You weaved through the crowd of people, introducing yourself as you picked up a glass. Most likely you looked out of place, you knew, despite the fact that you were dressed appropriately.

You were intrigued, however, as you desired to learn more about their lives; desired to learn more about her life.

Not to your surprise, as the night progressed you caught her moving throughout the ball room.

She was on a mission as always, it seemed, tending to others needs and wants in hopes of a pleasant ball; in her role of pleasing her brother. Your eyes followed her tall form as you sipped your drink in a corner, absolutely content.

For a while.

Enjoyment flowed through you as you watched others dance, resisting the urge to join in. You hesitated as your heart panged, knowing that the only person you desired to dance with was not within possibility.

Eventually you had lost sight of her, only Mr. Murdstone in the centre of the room dancing with a woman, so you left.

You quietly snuck to the main room of the house, debating on departing until you realized that nobody was around.

Sneaking up the stairs, you ran your hand along the balustrade, stopping at the top to utilize the light of some candles. If anyone caught you, you were searching for the loo.

A large family portrait on the wall greeted you, an eerie feeling overwhelming you at the sight of the Murdstone family.

The mother, a force to be reckoned with. The father, a tyrannical aristocrat. And the son, vindictive.

As your eyes raked over the young girl, however, you realized she was just that, a young girl.

A young girl born into upper class, born into cruelty, born into a life that was not chosen but wholly hers.

You supposed nobody really had a choice.

The candles guided your attention to an open door, the floor creaking when you stepped closer.

You longed to enter, but a deep dreadful feeling in your chest told you not to.

Shaking your head, you stepped away; but your curiosity got the best of you, as always.

The dimly lit room was lined with books and filled with décor, artifacts, and art. It was the most interesting room you had ever known.

You ran your fingers along an open book on the table, the intricate writing making you guess it was that of a woman.

'My father has gotten…better.

I cannot help but wonder if it is too late.

He now asks me why I am so angry, why I raise my voice.

He does not understand that

I learned it all from him.'

You sucked in a breath as your hand traced the ink. Being lost in her deepest written thoughts was…intense.

You turned pages upon pages for more, stopping at the most recent.

'I question my ability to experience the tender emotions of humanity.

To harbor affection in the manner of mortals.

The question for this issue is

Do I have a human soul,

And can I prove it?

And, of course,

There is no definitive answer.'

Your lip began to tremble at the tug of her words, of her thoughts, of her feelings.

She was no ghost, she was no wax figure, she was as real as you, maybe even more so.

As a small tear escaped your eye, a hand landed harshly on your shoulder.

"I knew I would find you here."

An amused but mocking voice.

She spun you around and grasped your neck, fingers reaching until they squeezed and pulled you close.

It felt pleasant, it felt warm, it felt real.

"You fancy yourself sly, following me around, do you not?"

Your eyes widened, hands trembling at her touch, clenching them at your sides.

"Do not presume I failed to notice your presence."

She saw you.

"At first, I thought perhaps you wished me dead, the way you stock me."

She chuckled.

"Then I realized that you made no attempt to be stealthy."

You were at first, but then you got sloppy. You swallowed thickly.

"We share the same interests, do we not?"

You nodded your head the best that you could, you truly did.

A smirk grazed her lips as she brought them to your ear, making you shiver at the proximity.

You closed your eyes.

"Do not think I miss the way you look at me."

She knew, she knew of your attachment.

"Do not think I miss the way you tremble when I'm close."

She knew of the way you craved her.

"Do not think I miss your desire."

 It was incredible, really, how energy made up the universe, how matter was eternal, how it could be neither created nor destroyed.

Both of you, electron orbitals overlap, not separate, but existing as one with her hand around your neck, around your lifeline.

She shook you until you gave in for a breath, until you feared her, until you bent.

But you knew her now, unlike you did before.

You knew she wanted to toy with you, and well, you with her.

You wouldn't say that you were cold, cruel, or that you had ever harmed another; for you were just a little lamb.

But, when she looked at you with disdain, you wished to give her a taste of her own medicine.

You wished to slap the sly look off her face, tell her that she wasn't as cruel or deathly as she thought she was, put her down until she lost her sense of fabricated self and cold exterior- until she found her real self again, warmth staring back at you as her clothing and shell were shed.

See, she was smart, witty, and perceptive, but she wore her heart on her sleeve, intentions written plain as day.

An open book, placed for all to see; but only some to analyze, only some to admire.

You, on the other hand, were sly, smart, and deceiving.

Perhaps she saw you as a dumb, innocent, oblivious young woman; but perhaps that's what you wanted her to think.

Gently, you placed your hands onto her waist, pressing yourself further into her grip.

Your lips met her jawline softly, watching as her mouth opened slightly in a gasp, warm breath fanning across your temple.

You bit your lip in pleasure as a smile spread across your face, you breathed low:

"I suffer, I attach, I crave, and I desire. And I always get what I desire."

[covid-safer-hotties]

Key points you should know:

=Mainstream media coverage of mask bans has given space for politicians’ false claims that masks are associated with wrong-doing, like crime and antisemitism, while overlooking that bans are, in many ways, an effort to suppress the reality of COVID-19. =There are 21 states and numerous municipalities with laws against masks or disguises on the books. People who wear masks would benefit from knowing exactly how they are worded and any legal precedents, as police are often under-informed. =Both Republicans and Democrats are pushing more severe mask bans than ever before in history. Democrats are more likely to give lip service to health needs without offering meaningful protections. Masks can and will be criminalized by police regardless of the language of the law, as arrest trends follow social trends. Police are also permitted by the Supreme Court to make mistakes in enforcing laws.

On August 5, Nyss Fayrchyld traveled from New York City to Nassau County in Long Island with other organizers to testify against a local bill to ban masks. The next few hours were “traumatic” and “volatile,” they recalled, with supporters of the bill “yelling obscenities” at immunocompromised people who testified in masks, calling them ”pro-Hamas thugs and terrorists.”

Police also directed enforcement at people in masks. One masked attendee was arrested on several charges, including second-degree assault, a felony, facing up to nine years in prison. Fayrchyld insists that the person was de-escalating conflict, which seems corroborated by video evidence. Supporters of the ban were also given more time to speak.

Nassau County’s bill passed with a vote of twelve Republicans in favor and seven Democrats abstaining. The law includes a vague medical exemption but also gives police expansive powers to stop, unmask, and arrest people.

Fayrchyld witnessed the type of state-sanctioned hostility that has become increasingly common for people who wish to stay safe during the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic. Nassau County is just the latest jurisdiction to pass a mask ban, after North Carolina and Washington, D.C. early this year.

New anti-mask bills were also recently introduced in Chicago, the New York State legislature, and the federal House of Representatives, which proposes a sentence of up to 15 years. Leaders in New York City and Los Angeles have discussed possible future bans, and other states are enforcing pre-existing anti-mask laws on the books. The University of Virginia has banned masks on campus, unless the person can show documentation of medical need.

While mainstream media stories about mask bans often mention that immunocompromised people might be harmed, these stories also give unskeptical space to politicians’ claims that increased mask-wearing has contributed to all kinds of wrong-doing, from crime to antisemitism. In reality, mask-wearing is increasingly rare compared to early in the pandemic. There are countries with far less violence than the U.S. where wearing a mask is normalized. One analysis found no correlation between mask bans and crime rates. Many pro-Palestine protestors are masking explicitly to prevent spreading COVID-19.

Most media coverage fails to connect the new wave of mask bans to the ongoing political efforts to minimize COVID-19. Overblown concerns about facial recognition and protestors are only possible with a concurrent effort to downplay the threat of COVID-19 and erase signs of it from public life — now a priority for most mainstream politicians.

While the conversation around mask bans has focused on new laws and bills, 21 states and many municipalities have laws banning masks and/or disguises in different settings, which is more than other organizations have reported. Even where these bans have apparent limitations or exemptions, the finer language of the laws leaves all COVID-conscious people vulnerable. And the historic practices of police endanger people even in states with no legal bans.

“We have come so far downhill when it comes to protecting one another that [supporting mask-wearing] is a controversial opinion to have these days,” said disability activist and author Imani Barbarin. The political climate, she said, “creates this perfect storm where it’s going to further criminalize Black and Brown people who need masks to survive.”

The politics and propaganda of mask bans Historically, mask bans tend to come in waves. This current wave has been led by Republicans, with Democrats following closely behind. While Democrats tend to pay slightly more lip service to health needs, their actions undermine their promises.

The Republican effort to ban masks started before the COVID-19 pandemic, with a series of bills aimed at antifascist protestors. In 2011, Occupy Wall Street protestors were arrested for wearing masks. Republican leaders reignited their efforts in early 2023, introducing bills that sought to end the COVID-19 era of masking altogether.

Republicans insist mask bans have been around for a long time. But their recent efforts go further in criminalizing masking than ever before. North Carolina’s new law requires members of the public to “remove the mask upon request by a law enforcement officer,” for any reason, for as long as police want. Previously, the state’s law limited this demand to traffic stops and when police believed someone was committing a crime.

The new provision “smacks of blatant authoritarianism,” said Corye Dunn, Director of Public Policy for Disability Rights North Carolina. North Carolina’s mask ban also adds a new provision requiring a person wearing a mask to “temporarily” remove it at the request of an “owner or occupant” of a “public or private property.”

“Occupant doesn’t mean anything” in state law, Dunn said. She’s concerned that this “dangerous” provision will “embolden bullies and set up people with disabilities to face hostility” from fellow citizens demanding mask removal.

Elaine Nell, who co-founded the group Advocates for Medically Fragile Kids NC, is “angry, sad, and scared” about how the law might be enforced when it takes effect in October, especially in public spaces: “You get jury duty [and you] may not be able to wear a mask.” Nell is also concerned about her medically vulnerable children, who already lead restricted lives. “This may just take away even more,” she said.

Meanwhile, the conservative Manhattan Institute for Policy Research recently proposed a mask ban template focused on protests that don’t include any health exemption. While the Institute doesn’t pretend that COVID-19 is over, the template outlines a grim scenario: “Someone who wears a mask for health reasons probably should not be congregating in large groups of people.”

This statement suggests that immunocompromised people shouldn’t have the right to protest, work, or exist in crowded spaces, harkening back to the “ugly laws” that once forbade disabled people from being in public.

Democrats in the New York legislature proposed a mask ban bill similar to the Manhattan Institute’s template, with a medical exemption that only applies during a “declared public health emergency.” On paper, the federal government ended the COVID-19 emergency in 2023.

Across the country, Democrats are proposing mask bans based on flimsy and inconsistent logic, often citing incidents in which the main aggressors weren’t even masked. New York City Mayor Eric Adams, a former police officer, might be the one Democratic leader willing to make the subtext clear. He has expressed the desire to “go back to the way it was pre-COVID” by banning masks on subways, in stores, and in “other areas where it is not health-related” — as if there are any locations where health is not an issue.

Adams articulated out loud the Biden administration’s consistent priority: to erase the signs of COVID-19, or, as the podcast Death Panel calls it, the “sociological production of the end of the pandemic.” This started in the spring of 2021 when the CDC proposed that vaccinated people no longer need masks. The administration has also steadily chipped away at COVID-19 data collection efforts.

Mask bans are the latest step towards that goal, further disincentivizing the public from wearing them for protection. Biden administration leaders have explicitly associated mask-wearing with unnecessary, humiliating, and “fringe” behavior. And Biden recently insisted that he “ended the pandemic,” just before he reportedly caught COVID-19. His administration has been able to erase almost all signs of COVID-19 besides the viral illness itself.

How police criminalize masking On August 22, Disability Rights New York filed a lawsuit challenging the Nassau County mask ban by invoking the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). But mask ban enforcement won’t rely on the determination of the courts alone. Political propaganda against masking is likely to influence how police criminalize masking, as arrest trends follow social trends more than laws.

Before COVID-19, mask bans were among the obscure laws rarely enforced by themselves, though police have long used face coverings, particularly ski masks, as a pretext to stop and search people. Elijah McClain was stopped by police in 2019 in large part for wearing a ski mask, or “looking suspicious,” and was killed while in custody. Yet Colorado has never had any kind of mask ban, giving police no justification for the stop.

Supreme Court decision Helen v. North Carolina (2014) allows police to be “reasonably mistaken” in their understanding of the laws they are hired to enforce. Police commonly arrest people for legal knives and other weapons due to poor training and bias. People may lose days, weeks, or months of income while in jail — and exposure to a deadly and disabling virus — before prosecutors or judges catch up to police mistakes.

It doesn’t help that anti-mask laws have always been ambiguously written, contributing to “reasonable” misunderstandings and decades of legal testing in the courts. New York’s proposed law would ban masking during “lawful or unlawful assembly or riot.” But “New York, unhelpfully, does not define a local assembly in law,” said Allie Bohm, Senior Policy Counsel at the American Civil Liberties Union of New York.

Bohm is concerned that D.C.’s new law — which outlaws masking while committing a crime or “threats to do bodily harm” — is “just giving police freedom to stop anyone in a mask,” even without justification. Similar laws exist in Arizona, California, Michigan, and many other states.

Bohm’s fears were confirmed by the D.C. law’s sponsor, Councilmember Brooke Pinto, who said the law was intended to give officers “a basis for a stop, for articulable suspicion.” D.C. police officers were sent a memo summarizing the new law without additional formal training, according to emails from the Metropolitan Police Department.

Bohm identified a fundamental legal problem with most mask bans: “We will always be in the position of law enforcement deciding whether the person in front of them is masking for a ‘legitimate’ reason.” Most anti-mask laws assume that police can properly judge “intent” and behavior despite studies showing that such judgment is colored by racial and other biases.

Dunn recalled one North Carolina legislator saying in a hearing, “Nobody is looking to go after ‘meemaw’ at the Walmart,” referring to an older woman. The statement explicitly identified the kinds of “selective enforcement” likely to happen around masking, Dunn said. She has coached the family of one North Carolina Black teenager, whose immune system is suppressed from leukemia treatments, on how to balance his health needs with staying safe during a police interaction — what she calls a “horrifying choice.”

What should people who wear masks do now? (Nadica suggests reading up on illegalism. sorry for interrupting.) Unfortunately, marginalized people might not be able to rely on all of the organizations that have historically fought for their rights. Both the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People in New York and the National Urban League support New York’s proposed anti-mask law.

People who wear masks should consider learning the finer details of the laws and precedents in their states and cities, given that police may not be well informed. Does your state require “intent to disguise” your identity for masking to be illegal, as in D.C.? Then you can cite the law and try to assure police that your intention is health-related.

Bohm advises people who wear masks in New York, if confronted by police, to state that they are worried about COVID-19 and ask if they can leave, as there is no current mask ban in effect. Dunn recommends North Carolinians invoke their desire to “prevent the spread of contagious disease,” citing the language of the new law’s very narrow medical exemption. Disclosing a medical condition might seem like a good strategy, but it’s worth keeping in mind police bias: half of people killed by police are disabled.

More broadly, activists need to build solidarity among all of the groups affected by mask bans, including disabled people, pro-Palestine protesters, religious minorities, people of color, and LGBTQ+ people. Some of the laws that ban disguises have been used against trans people.

Barbarin even thinks it would be smart to “hop on personal liberty” as a way to associate masking with American freedom, which she acknowledges is not “in vogue” on the left. The Klan has long been a plaintiff in lawsuits to end mask bans, and Proud Boys, a right-wing extremist group, often cover their faces.

In order to further broaden support against mask bans, the public needs to understand that COVID-19 is still a serious risk. Beyond that, the media needs to communicate that stopping legal bans — or adding medical exemptions — won’t be enough to protect people from police. It will take changing the political discourse around masking altogether.

[heartmaddie]

parfum d'étoiles | k.akaashi

introductions; the miseducation of bokuakakurotsukkiken

⋆｡°✩ keiji akaashi

he loves 'all about lily chou chou' and 'neon genesis evangelion' , a bit of a loser but it's commonly understood across the campus that he's quite attractive. keiji wears thrifted, archival fashion, but also buys modern clothing - doesn't indulge in fast fashion. he wears women's pants that he thrifts and he shares clothes with tsukishima a lot but they're sometimes baggy on him. he used to drink a lot of coffee, but switched to genmaicha right before university started. has a dog named pochi , breed is undecided (akaashi likes cats too but his mom likes dogs). he really likes kiyoko's sense of style and buys from her depop often - also is a deep reader and helps tsukishima with his booktok account.

⋆｡°✩ kei tsukishima

he made a booktok account as a joke to clown on colleen hoover but then blew up (i think of daniel yeo when i think of tsuki as a creator), he's just been posting occasionally since then but has a nice following he enjoys interacting with. tsukishima is a big fan of cable knit sweats and corduroy pants, he dresses quite casually but owns a couple of more expensive pieces, all thrifted not made to wear. even though he doesn't care about his own fashion, he loves buying the photography archives of fashion designers and looks through them often. he likes chai lattes or oolong tea. he likes a range of music, but focuses on radiohead the most. he hates a lot of mainstream booktok books , colleen hoover, icebreaker etc, but also hates murakami , dazai and bukowski.

⋆｡°✩ tetsuro kuroo

he's kind of cool if you try to forget the fact that he actively tries so seem cooler. suffers from soo much fomo it's actual insanity (based off of one of my irls). he loves r&b , the REALEST ms lauryn hill fan, but has a wide range of music taste as well. he's the glue in this group chat and it would be dead if it wasn't him and bokuto spamming it all the time. he loves croissants and old libraries even if he doesn't read, he likes the ambience while he's catching up on his university lectures. he skips all of them (self indulgent). he changes his bio on twitter every 25 minutes and it's just the captions of tiktoks he giggled from - it's abhorred. i think a lot of people look at him from afar because he's quite attractive but his aura is so intimidating that no one goes up to him..

⋆｡°✩ kotaro bokuto

bokuto is a very rowdy and energetic person, which is why he's perfect to be akaashi's best friend! he struggles a bit with being too pushy. especially with akaashi who he sometimes forces to do things he doesn't want to do. he's sort of slow and unaware, but he means the best for everybody. he has no opps. he unironically plays roblox (uses his younger cousins as an excuse but actually loves it) and his favourite games are dress to impress and gym simulator. unlike akaashi, bokuto stayed friends with yn after high school ended but just doesn't talk to her as often - him and yn were never as close as akaashi and yn. bokuto really likes cheese, especially gouda, but also flightless birds.

⋆｡°✩ kenma kozume

kenma is winning every single idgaf war on the entire planet, i'm not even kidding. (but on a more serious note, he does look out for his friends in his own special way). he loves any sort of energy drink, and his favourite food is tiramisu because it wakes him right up and he likes mascarpone. he strictly wears uniqlo airism shirts and rotates through 4 different pairs of pants (jeans, gray sweatpants, black sweatpants and jorts). he likes to stay home and watch films with akaashi, play different games with bokuto and have long conversations with tsukishima. he's closest to kuroo because they live together. bokuto and akaashi live together too and kei lives alone but everyone meets up there anyways. he doesn't use twitter too often.

please consider liking , reblogging or following if you enjoyed send an ask or reply to the masterlist if you'd like to be on the taglist :p

taglist : @akaashislovee

©heartmaddie all rights reserved. please do not repost my work.

[neonscandal]

9 Anime to Watch to Feel Like This 👇🏾

I love how long it's been since I've done any rec's lists before pushing two new ones out. Since my blog tends to have a bit of a reputation, this one felt necessary. In no way is this an exhaustive list, but if you're looking for some LGBTQIA+ representation this month, consider tuning into any of the below. While shonen ai and yuri will of course have representation, I tried to focus on mainstream stories where possible with characters that tackle their identity or where it's not necessarily a plot point but simply a recognized component of who they are. Bonus manga recommendations at the end! Happy Pride, beloveds. ✨

Zombieland Saga (series) - Something, something about stars burning brightest not lasting as long. This is the story of an idol group of zombies who were inexplicably resurrected to bring attention and culture back to the Saga prefecture. Enter Franchouchou forged by starlets who'd died far too young, seeming victims of some unspoken curse. Follow along as each of the girls reconcile the loose ends of their human lives while making the best of their second chance at stardom. ✨

Sub/Dub | Crunchyroll

Blue Period (series) - Who you are isn't something that's readily apparent especially in your teenage years. For Yaguchi, he starts a bit behind the curve realizing in his junior year that he wants to pursue art. While the story centers around his journey to catch up with his peers, there's an element of self exploration and vulnerability that he can't quite tackle alone.

Sub/Dub | Netflix

Komi Can't Communicate (series) - Arguably the first slice of life romance to hit the list but the character who inspires the series' inclusion is not involved. This is the story of a girl trying to overcome crippling social anxiety and the boy who patiently helps to expand her social circle (even though the girl's actually really popular??). Yea, it's one of those shows. While I haven't specifically tried to out characters in describing recommendations, I included this show specifically for Najimi Osana who, while their sexuality is not particularly explored, still has very Be Gay, Do Crime energy with the way they are always looking for an ever so slightly sheisty angle. Like, good for you. The fact that they are also extremely popular and accepted by their millions of friends is just another reason to adore them.

Sub/Dub | Netflix

Ouran High School Host Club (series) - This particular throwback is a dicier inclusion than the last, namely because of the antiquated (and, at times, offensive) language that doesn't particularly hold up in a rewatch today. The show centers around a group of affluent "boys" who cater to the whims and fantasies of well connected girls at their high school. This frequently involves a bit of overdone fetishization of their own questionable sexualities and, while most of the gang is referred to as the "homosexual supporting cast", I can't dismiss the feeling that there is some earnest representation specifically with the lead that most of the hosts have a romantic soft spot for. It's a cult classic but undeniably outdated; however, I think, in the representation it does well, there is diversity. In what the series does poorly, it opens up dialogue especially for conversations people simply weren't having back when the show dropped.

Sub/Dub | Crunchyroll, Hulu

Sailor Moon (series) - Can't forget the OG. I think what, inherently, inspires the inclusion of Sailor Moon and OHSHC above is the fact that, even then, there were small rays of hope in media. How well or poorly it was executed goes to show the evolution of that representation. Spoilers but, for context, in the US, the couple above was censored and portrayed as unusually close cousins rather than romantic partners. Granted, there were a lot of other choices that were made back in the 90's that have since been corrected as the series has been remastered.

Sub/Dub | Hulu, Prime Video, Pluto TV

Ranma 1/2 (series + movies) - OKAY, I know I called Sailor Moon the OG but.. for all intents and purposes. Ranma 1/2 precedes even Sailor Moon. I would say the series, at times, may teeter a bit on whether the representation is positive or not but, I maintain that a significant portion of the cast is queer as hell. The series follows eponymous person of legend, Ranma Saotome, in a quest to become a "man amongst men" as though their life depends on it.

Sub/Dub | Hulu, Prime Video, Tubi

Stars Align (series) - While I think most of the above can be considered positive or negative representation, they are at least not trauma porn in nature. Enter: Stars Align, a moody coming of age story set as an underdog tennis club tries to defy all odds and avoid being disbanded. While I wouldn't classify this as trauma porn either, it does delve into some viscerally heavy topics while also tackling the act of Becoming for a group of young boys and what that can mean with a support system of unlikely peers.

Sub/Dub | Hulu, Crunchyroll

Wonder Egg Priority (series) - As we've departed to delve into darker themes, the premise of this show centers around teens who have dealt with instances of suicide and, subsequently, learning to stand up for themselves in real life (while violently battling it out in a dream world).

Sub/Dub | Crunchyroll

Jujutsu Kaisen (series + movie) - wholesome inclusion to remind you that you should never let your sexuality nor your gender identity stop you from pursuing world domination. Representation is equal opportunity and of little consequence to this story and, yet, considerably diverse for a shonen series. Don't get me wrong, it's a battle horror anime where kids are battling curses and plot armor is hard to come by so prepare to get your heart broken.

Sasaki and Miyano (series and movie) - There will never come a time where I don't recommend watching this series. Actually wholesome romcom wherein there's a patient level of acceptance and support as Miyano navigates the confusion of his feelings for a clingy senpai. Because there should be more unproblematic love stories in the world. 💕

Sub/Dub | Crunchryoll

BONUS MANGA

Is Love The Answer? by Uta Isaki, completed

While the main story focuses on a character navigating their way under the Ace Umbrella, the story features additional characters on their own journey of self discovery with resources for Questioning readers sprinkled throughout. It's also a great example of how broadening your media intake can create a better sense of understanding with who you are and how you identify with grace so you don't have to be so quick to label yourself.

The Guy She Was Interested In Wasn't a Guy At All by Sumiko Arai, ongoing

Adorable story of opposites that find a middle ground together which drives home the idea that you should never judge a book by it's cover.

[fanaticsnail]

Hello, snail! Thank you for spoiling us with your writing!! You're too talented and I'm always so happy when you pop up on my dash!!

I have a question/request for advice if you ever find yourself willing to give it. I'm in my late 20's and I haven't felt comfortable telling my new partner about my love of fanfiction and extreme hyperfixation on anime (they know I like it, but not to the extent that I do). How did you feel comfortable sharing or were you and your chef-husband always comfortable? I'm worried if I tell him, he won't be interested in me anymore as they aren't a nerd like me.

First of all, hello!! Thank you for your beautiful words and compliments on my writing. I do love this hobby and I adore sharing my words with you on here.

Thank you so much for your ask! I am in the final year of my 20s and I have been celebrating going into my 'nerdy 30' with a bit of insanity. "One fic per day for 30 days" was going to be my prompt leading up to it, but then I thought: "nah, I can do more."

I am going to add a page break, because I realised just how much I have to say about it. It is very much a personal glimpse into my life, and I hope it helps you. I'm not a relationship coach, this is just my experience.

Tldr: I love this community, and so does chef-husband.

Congratulations on your new partner! All the freshness and excitement being there with the newness is so much fun. I've been with chef-husband for 11 years now. I met him when I was eighteen, and we both worked at our 'Baratie'. I do talk about that often, and I adore writing fics for that restaurant because it just feels like home for me, but I won't linger for too long on it.

Aside from working together, we bonded over our love for music and pop culture. Death Note was one of the things that really got us both talking, and I gifted him a small plush notebook attached to a small apple, never knowing that it would be on a little mantle in our house together 11 years later.

Our tastes in anime differed a little: him with Crying Freeman, and Neon Genesis Evangelion - me with Naruto and Kuroshitsuji, but Death Note (and now JJK) was a series we both loved. Same with Ghibli. Being nerdy or geeky was one of the things that felt magnetic in our conversation, but our other nerdy interests differ.

Encouragement to Write

My husband has always wanted me to express my thoughts through writing. He wanted me to write before I even had the inkling of wanting to. When I dream, I experience full-fledged plots with twists and turns - usually science fiction with thriller tendencies.

When I say: "So, I had a dream last night", chef is already boiling the kettle, making the coffees and sat at the table while I tell him point for point what happens. Silly, but it was something that we did before we had the babies together.

Writing Fanfiction

So, I know this feeling intimately. Telling someone "So, I read and write fanfiction for fun" is still so taboo in mainstream. The one thing that changed this for me, and I talk about this a lot too, was my sister. Growing up secretly reading fanfiction was one of my hobbies because "oh my gosh, there's more? There can be more? AAAAAA". I never really wrote anything back then, not really knowing how to articulate the words I wanted to on paper or on the screen.

But back to the main point: my sister.

Sitting beside her years ago, her on her phone scrolling through her screen, I remember asking her: "what are you doing?" and, without skipping a beat, she responded with two words that really shocked me:

"Reading fanfiction."

Like, with no little blush, no fear of judgement, no little inflections of speech to indicate any signs of embarrassment. It was that easy. Simply "reading fanfiction." Immediately, I followed up with: "Oh? Who for? Canon x OC, x reader stuff, just a main character doing canon divergent stuff?" and she filled me in. I loved her for that. Healed my inner reclusive teenager huddled over an 'x reader' fic.

Last year, I remember sending her a message asking: "So... If I was to start writing fanfiction, would you read it?" and she immediately was like: "WHAT FANDOM, WITH WHO, YES SIS, GET IT GURL, WHAT ARE WE DOING?" and I filled her in the way she filled me in years ago. And so, I started writing for 'x reader'.

Telling Chef-husband I write fanfiction

Once the kids went to bed, all the chores done, him in his shed making miniature terrains for his RC cars, I was sitting merrily at my desk with a glass of wine writing my silly little stories for my silly little guys.

There was one moment where he came in from outside covered in paints and motor oils, and he was like: "whatcha working on?" and I froze. I assumed he was thinking "Oh, she's writing from her nightmares again", I enjoy open communication - so I just said it plainly:

"Writing Fanfiction."

He kind of had this little chuckle in his tone, reaching for the bar fridge and getting a beer. Popping the steel cap from the glass top, he just went: "oh yeah? For which character?"

No little judgement, mild curiosity on my words, having a little glimpse over my shoulder at the screen and him just being like: "Huh. The clown, right? Nice." When he left to go back outside to his hobby, I remember him just laughing with, "Let me know if you need any inspo for Sanji, babe. I've got you covered."

I remember texting my sister: "Chef knows I write fanfiction" and she responded very Gen Z with: "BAHAHAHA" followed up with "how did that go?" and I just told her the truth.

I know not all experiences are like mine, and having a partner that doesn't share the same interests and loving media that you do is daunting. Chef-husband and my marriage isn't perfect, but I knew he was my person from the way he interacted with my other hobbies: D&D, RPGs, comic books, and now writing fanfiction. I also show interest in his: RC cars/planes/drones, Warhammer, and tinkering with his puzzles and collections.

Just so you're aware, and I hope you don't mind, I asked him what he thought about people who read and write fanfiction as soon as I got this ask. He read it on my phone, and said very offhandedly:

"Like, they don't have to read or like the same things (anon) do. Anime is nothing to be ashamed of, and having someone being like: 'yeah, I'm breaking up with you because you're too nerdy' is such a shit thing to do. If (anon) is made to feel shame about something they like from someone they love, then they're a shit person to begin with and not worth pursuing."

That's chef-husband.

Chef-husband also told his boss that I read and write fanfiction, because he knew his boss also reads fanfiction. Pretty sure she reads my stuff on AO3, and I get all blushy when I think about that.

The moral of the story here that, from one passionate fanfic reader to another, whichever way this goes for you regarding confessing your interest to your partner - know you've got snail and chef-husband in Australia letting you know that you're not alone. There is a whole community here that loves and supports your joy, and I hope it all goes well for you.

I'm sorry for the long read, but I hope you appreciate a large glimpse into who I am. So much love for you, anon 🖤

Tagging @since-im-already-here because she's the reason I'm here.

[inbarfink]

Okay, here’s a Thought I had just recently…

So, Iggins. Everyone hates Iggins. He’s designed to be one of the most instantly hateable characters ever featured on a show that’s already famously misanthropic. And this is done by just… making him just an intensely concentrated version of every Obnoxious Gamer Stereotype (and way before they were widespread in mainstream media. ‘Invader Zim’ truly WAS ahead of its time). Simple enough, right?

But there’s actually another dimension to the whole thing.

Because what is it exactly about Iggins that Gaz finds so annoying and loathsome?

Well, it is the fact that he starts long rambling ‘conversations’ despite her obvious lack of interest which are just him talking at her

Is incredibly self-aggrandizing and self-centered

He LITERALLY went 'and then everyone clapped!', this show was a head of it's time, I tell you!

And his delusion of grandeur is his justification for overriding Gaz's desires and taking what is rightfully hers.

And, like.... leaving outside the literal taking of the physical Game Slave.... these are also the primary reasons why she gets angry at Dib.

Iggins is just a more annoying Gamer Dib. He has all of Dib’s negative traits and especially the ones that tend to affect Gaz; the inattentiveness, the self-centeredness, the self-aggrandizing, the assumption that his needs' triumph everybody else. But with Iggins they farther exaggerated, and instead of the Paranormal, Iggins is obsessed with Gaz’s Special Interest.

That kinda makes him the perfect antagonist for Gaz. And also maybe demonstrate that Gaz’s problems with her brother, unlike the Rest of the World, don’t always stem from just him having Weird Interests. If Dib had more normative interests (or at least as normative as Gaz's) but he was still just as much of a self-centered blowhard at her as he usually is - she would still be just as pissed-off at him as usual.