#they deserve a safe space

[bluiela]

The sway Gwynriels have over the fandom

Few days ago a famous Gwynriels creator yazthebookish shared her sentiment about the ships

Now I open twitter/X and I have seen too many accounts bitching about her there and her stories,

Posting screenshots and calling all Gwynriels fandom names,

Now you see how much sway we have over them,

Anything that we say gets republished and talked about on many other sites, they can't help but be insecure in their ship because of the lack of canon evidence so they try to feel better by harrassing us,

They're saying" How did yaz say that the BC is the one which set up the supposed forbidden set up she's wrong because it was set up in MAF these idiots and what not"

My honey you know what an entry level requirement for a forbidden relationship?

The characters actually having feeling for eachother

When Elain was still in love with Grey by the end part of ACOWAR

And Azriel was still yearning for Mor (when Elain was in the same room)in ACOFAS, he look at her with so much yearning that Feyre had to look away,

Where in this is the forbidden set up? Where?

E/riel having any crush/lust was introduced in the BC, and that is why it is set up in the BC.

And then the author ended that by literally making Elain reject the gift (when she couldn't return greysan's ring and still has lulu's gift), not make Azriel plan for Elain beyond sexual fantasies and then put all the mate language for Gwyn.

Yes, these guys are basing their main trope and ship in the BC. But they are so confidently saying MAF set it up that it is giving me second hand embarrassment.

And again I see no e/riel creator get this harassment of having so much sway and honestly that is all you need to know about their side.

[shouyuus]

but popstar!reader x vi where she leaves the biggest, darkest hickey on the side of your neck the night before a big concert, and she's convinced that you'd be trying to cover it up, but when you get on stage in your usual outfit, the neckline is popped and pulled down over your shoulders so everyone can see the bright pink lipstick mark painted on your neck.

you make a bit of it, winking at the camera, tapping it with a finger before pressing the same finger to your lips like shhh as if it's a secret btwn you and the audience. everyone goes wild for it and immediately, there's speculation of what it might mean, if it means you're actually with someone or if it's just another marketing tactic to generate buzz.

when vi comes home later that day, she finds a tube of bright pink lipsick on her side of the bed, with a note that's just a giant heart around a lipstick mark that's very clearly yours.

[feministfang]

❣️I love/support "selfish" girls for always choosing themselves and not caring about the rest of the world.

❣️I love/support "rude" girls for putting people in their place who cross their boundaries.

❣️I love/support "narcissistic" girls for being self-obsessed and loving themselves extremely.

❣️I love/support "greedy" rich girls for not letting anyone decide what to do with their hard-earned money and spending it all spoiling themselves.

❣️I love/support "greedy" successful girls for taking up as many spaces as they want unapologetically.

❣️I love/support "crazy" girls for letting out their anger instead of bottling it up inside.

❣️I love/support "rebellious" girls for not putting up with patriarchal bullshit and not doing anything for a man.

❣️I love/support "weird" girls for always being authentic and doing whatever they love to do.

❣️I love/support "self-centred" girls for only making themselves their centre of attention.

If you were ever labelled any of these/or other terms for whatever reasons, i hope you know you are doing everything right. You don’t owe your energy and time to anybody. You don’t owe your presence to anybody. Be selfish. Be greedy. Stay obsessed with yourself. And if anyone dares to bark at you for that, put a headphone on and blast your favourite song at the highest volume. (or maybe punch them so hard they won’t be able to speak again)

Stay authentically powerful, they will adjust. 🐬❤️

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 167

Honestly, Danny is having such a good time right now. He gets to travel with Ellie, explore space, just have fun. Plus his secondary protector-instincts are having soothed despite him not technically doing any hero-ing anymore. Really his sister had the right idea when she decided she wanted to become a doctor, this is honestly a blast.

And if someone does end up passing away, well, Ellie is always happy to help soothe their spirit and guide them to the Realms where they can reach their respective afterlife. Or become a ghost. 

They are completely oblivious to the fact that there are now legends and entire temples dedicated to them now. Apparently accidental ascension is in fact a thing, as Dan later laughs at them about. 

[thief-of-eggs]

Oh wow! The commenter from earlier escalated! Folks- here is a perfect example of what NOT to comment on AO3 works :))

[whateverisbeautiful]

The

Only

Time

I

Feel

Safe

Is

When

I’m

With

You

[l-in-the-light]

About his "trigger warnings"

I mentioned here on tumblr that I used to have a number one favourite book writer. I guess not anymore. After all the SA allegations and other stories that got leaked by people around him (his collegues, co-workers etc.), I realized he's an abusive asshole and I owe you all to say that openly here. And some of the assaults date back decades now, which means he didn't just wake up one day and changed into an asshole, he most likely was always one.

I read the foreword to his book Trigger Warning again. I feel like I took a peek beyond his fake persona there. He writes about trigger warnings like it's some exotic curious little trend that kids on the internet came up with, finds it a bit peculiar like a daddy trying to understand their kid's hobbies, then proceeds to use them like a funny teasers for his short stories ("can you find the big tentacle hidden among the pages somewhere?"), only to finish it all up with a punch straight to your face: real life doesn't have trigger warnings, so always watch out for yourself. On the surface level? This all sounds like a slightly misguided, maybe even witty intro. Nothing is said with malice, right? And yet, the message underneath it all was always to discredit trigger warnings as a concept. That's why that delivery line is at the very end of that intro. You're supposed to be lulled into agreeing how silly it all is. I dunno if he did it on purpose or did it without thinking much about it, by habit, but that intention is there and it's disguised with concern and attempts to sound kind. A peek beyond the nice guy mask. No wonder I could never finish that anthology of short stories. The cognitive dissonance caused by the foreword sticked with me like a bad aftertaste. My intuition told me this was all wrong, I just couldn't find the words to express it.

And you know why it works so well as a disguise and why we tend to believe he didn't do it on purpose? Because hey, he just said the facts, the truth! Reality indeed doesn't have any trigger warnings, what's wrong with saying that! Yes, that statement is true. Using real statements in carefully woven context to sell a lie, is an example of an excellent manipulation. So allow me to untangle it or, in other words, to reveal the magic trick behind it.

Why do trigger warnings exist? Isn't Gaiman right, aren't they counterproductive, you might think, because by avoiding triggers you will never get better at dealing with them? Indeed, here's the catch, because the answer isn't a simple yes or no here. Yes, often to recover from trauma, you need to expose yourself to it in some way - like for example, through exposure therapy (or even just classic psychotherapy). But also No, because there's no rule that says you will officially recover only after you're fine reading fiction about sexual assault (for example)! Some triggers will dimnish, some will not, and the best you can do for the latter is to avoid them altogether. Triggers are extremely personal, but you can learn to manage them, in ways that respect your own boundaries, but never by giving up your right to selfcare. You see the difference?

Back to therapy bit for a moment. To recover, often you need to go through with it. But here's the thing - you do it in *controlled environment*, accompanied by a specialist that is there to help and calm you down afterwards. And you only start to do that once you feel *ready* to face it. Now compare it to a situation of reading a book (yes, a book, which usually never has any trigger warnings, because that's such a silly fanfiction thing). You come upon your trigger without any warning, preparation or support around you, you're left with the aftermath of possible panic attack or other symptoms completely on your own. It might take you weeks to recover from it, because perhaps you weren't yet in any therapy that could help you manage your triggers more effectively. But then you tell yourself it's fine, minimizing your own emotional reactions, because *it was just a book*. But, you realize, even years later you still remember it and you might finally accept the harsh truth that you're still not fine with it.

Now imagine same situation, but the book did have trigger warnings listed. For example, about sexual abuse. You would see that and leave the bookstore without the book, because you would know you're not *ready* for that. And it's fine not to be ready, be it yet or ever. This is about consent and selfcare, both are essential to process through trauma and recover. The books without trigger warnings rob selfcare, consent and a choice from us. They teach us we should always ignore our triggers and push through. It's sadly a reality that is widely accepted so Gaiman is right, nothing in reality will flash you a warning. But he's also wrong: it doesn't mean we can't make the life a tiny bit easier for those of us who are traumatized, instead of leaving them with all of that on their very own. This part, he doesn't want you to even consider. He doesn't want you to imagine the positive side of living in a world in which real books warn you about triggers, because then it would prove that it *can* become a reality in which real things (like books) warn you of triggers. They can't shield you from everything, but that's also not the point: it's just to make some things feel more safe, for everybody.

(As a side note, being triggered is not the same as stepping outside your comfort zone - those are two different matters! Though yes, stepping outside your comfort zone in an extreme way CAN become traumatic as the result as well).

I guess Neil Gaiman just thinks some people are too sensitive and should just get over themselves. You don't need those warnings, they won't protect you anyway. Have you tried not getting traumatized? How dare you think your selfcare is more important than reading my questionable fantasies? You're missing out if you skip my book (that has no proper trigger warnings) and you have only yourself to blame! I provide you a safe environment to explore your traumatic triggers, you should be grateful! And how is your book providing a safe environment exactly, author? Did you even try to put a safety net there for your reader? Do you even care? Of course you don't. But you will pretend like you do: by providing a very ingenuine effort that is mostly meant to be a pat on your own back for cleverly dismissing the very concept of trigger warnings, while pretending to play along with it and exposing their lack of power in the process. Disguised as a coincidence, lack of understanding or unskillful attempt written by a slightly ignorant daddy-like figure. What an irony that you do it by nearly surgically focusing on the blind spots of the concept, proving at the same time you do know the mechanism behind it pretty well. You knew what you were doing and how you were doing it.

Or at least, this is how I see it: I might be wrong on the details, but I'm sure I caught the gist of the manipulative behaviour there. An abuser always wants you to step out of your comfort zone, get surprised by a trigger, and to make sure you're outside your safety net. Because then you're an easier target, more likely to agree to harmful things (be it real actions or just harmful beliefs delivered to you by the author of a book, like in case of *trigger warnings being pointless*). They want to groom you into thinking that you're just being silly and see things that aren't there.

Trigger Warning's foreword is exactly that and I feel disgusted, now that I finally recognize my own feelings about it. I probably didn't find words for it before, because I wanted to believe Gaiman had good intentions behind it, they just didn't work out very well. Except that was never the case and that's why it never felt right. That good intention was never there, but it sure *looked* like it was. Also it took me way too long to realize people do things like that on purpose. You know what, Gaiman? Thanks to gaslighting efforts like yours it took me also way too many years to accept that selfcare IS OKAY.

So many people now think nothing was ever genuine about Neil Gaiman because his nice guy mask slipped. A mask he used to hide his autism behind and appear neurotypical/feel accepted thanks to it. Whenever a really advanced mask like that slips, the cognitive dissonance becomes a huge gap between a mask and actual self in perception of other people. Still, your autism is not an excuse for things you do and say, and definitely doesn't excuse assault as simple miscommunication - and yes, he did try to justify lack of consent this way. "I'm autistic, I read the body language wrong and wasn't even aware of it". Hey, you could have, like, asked. There's no shame in getting confirmation in words :P but it's just a poor excuse anyway, the truth is he didn't care if it was wanted or not, as long as he got adoration and powertripping thrill out of that, and that's the best case scenario here.

I believe the allegations. I won't be able to read Gaiman's books anymore, I honestly can't see them the same way I used to anymore. I loved Coraline and The Graveyard Book, and Smoke and Mirrors. I feel disgusted knowing that he openly claimed to be a feminist while at the same time assaulted so many people and used emotional manipulation so they won't #metoo him. He even went as far as to claim "always believe the victims", but once the allegations flew his way, what did he do? Blamed the victims, even called them mentally ill! I also feel now like his books are also just full of deception, meant to hide harmful beliefs under quirky words and imaginative tales. And I might never be able to stop feeling this way and I don't owe him a second chance anyway.

Good Omens stays in my heart though, because sir Terry Pratchett put a lot of work into it and it shows. I feel like I would show him disrespect if I discarded it. Let's say it becomes a Gaiman Who Might Have Been But Never Was, for me.

[raviollies]

I dont understand the trend of fandoms trying to make all characters friends and erase any conflict between them as if that's an indictment of either of those characters as people.

Sometimes two fundamentaly good people exist in completely different worlds. Sometimes people just don't like each other. Conflict is just as integral to interesting development as friendship/romance. I don't understand why people are so desperate to sand characters down to featureless monoliths

[marshmellowtea]

honestly at this point i think we need to start calling out people who claim nonsexual kink doesn't exist or deride the idea of it for being acephobic because.......that's literally what they are lol. it's not hard to grasp the concept that people might enjoy the power dynamics or physical sensations associated with certain kinks without ever wanting the sexual component, and just because they don't want the sexual component doesn't mean that they believe their kinks are "sfw" or that they should think minors should be interacting with them in a kinky manner (in fact a lot of people who post nonsexual kink still have 18+ in their bio cuz they do in fact understand that nonsexual does not inherently mean safe for minors. crazy, i know).

[cherry-pop-elf]

Small Mouthwashing Break

Hey guys. I know so many of you are hyped and excited for another mouthwashing fic/update to my series but the whole RussianBot situation just. I can’t

I’ve seen things that have left me painfully traumatized. Its made me scared to even open this app. I’ve seen things no one deserves to see. Enough where I won’t even mention what they are

Until the situation is solved I just can’t be part of the fandom atm. I’m already painfully traumatized as is. I have enough going on in life. I don’t need more shit like this

It’s genuinely given me nightmares and taken a toll on my health, since fibromyalgia reacts to stress. What a way to start my thanksgiving break. Just peachy huh?

I’m super sorry to everyone that’s so eager to see more of my content, who want updates, to have asks left unanswered, but I deserve to take care of myself

Hopefully a few days away will make the situation resolve itself on its own. Maybe tumblr will actually do something. Who knows

Just know I’m super sorry, but I gotta take care of myself. I love the mouthwashing fandom/game but Jesus Christ those Russian Bots man

Keep me updated on if that stupid thing gets solved. If things go get fixed. That it’ll be safe to return

I wanna keep posting and doing what I love after all. Don’t we all?

Love yall

[sunrizef1]

You tell them, king

I wholeheartedly agree and will support every wrong or right it takes for him to get there

[disorderly]

cluster b culture is just don't make this about yourself don't make this about yourself don't mention yourself don't do it I swear to God don't mention yourself don't please God anyways I did the same thing and you didn't even notice what about me how come you never notice me but expect me to always be paying attention to you why don't you—

[quins-makeshift-menagerie]

As most of you know I try my best to be civil and kind. I’m too exhausted and the world sucks too much for me to go about making other people feel like shit, it’s not really something I see worthy of my or anyone’s time really. I try to keep things positive not only because it might brighten someone else’s day but for my own sake. I curate this space because I know a lot of you feel and experience the same things I do. Do not twist this into me being delusional. I am fully aware the internet can be an unkind place, but that doesn’t mean my blog, my space, has to follow that example.

Be kind, be patient, and be respectful, not that the majority of you haven’t already been doing so. Asks are open again. Anonymous will be turned on again when I feel comfortable.

Apologies to those who used anon because they were nervous/anxious. I completely understand where you’re coming from and this is nothing against you. Regardless I do hope you stick around, and maybe one day work up the courage to be open with me. Or continue to keep your distance, I completely understand that too.

[ancientknox]

maddie is like the best ever after high character. no question. she’s the most widely loved by both the fandom and the actual other characters in eah and loves them back in return. she’s not usually judgemental and finds everyone interesting. and she’s raven queens best friend, not just that but she’s in the raven, cedar, cerise, maddie friend group and that is the safest friend group i ever did see. I LOVE HER SO MUCH MWAH MY FAVORITE NARRATOR!! maddie hatter >>> you

[pumpkinlass]

objectively i think there is no funnier way to get spoiled on a major character death in a piece of media than going to AO3 and reading 'no beta we die like [important main character]' in the tags

[t-errifier]

in light of some thing i have seen, i want everyone to know that i care about ALL muses, regardless of gender, sexuality, race & identity. THIS BLOG IS A SAFE SPACE FOR MUSES OF ALL KINDS, there is no bigotry allowed here.