#they both fucking suck. for different reasons
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I do this shit every day. I know what I am doing and I have a specific reason for doing things the way I do. Shut the fuck up, listen to my instructions and follow them, and we will be done with this transaction before you even know it.
The registers at my store suck ass. Despite the fact that they're "new" (we got new registers + a new system 3 years ago) they're worse than the old ones in nearly every way, specifically how slow they are.
If I scan an item, it will take around 5-10 seconds for it to appear on the screen. It WILL eventually appear, just slowly. So to get around this and save time, I scan each item immediately after each other and keep count of how many items there are in my head. I stall for time for the items to load by bagging the items and usually by the time I'm done bagging, everything has loaded. It's annoying, but this is the only thing that works. I can and have reset the register hundreds of times and it hardly makes a difference.
Every. Fucking. Day. I either have some moron think that their whole total for all 35 items they have is $2 because only one of their items has loaded at the moment. Or I have some bitch who insists on handing me each individual item one by one and then complaining about how long it is taking. It is YOUR FAULT! I have a system for making this go very quickly! I explained this to you! I told you to just set all your fucking stupid ass shit on the counter and let me do my thing and you will be out of my face so fucking quick! YOU are the cause of your own problems! I actually have legitimate reasons for giving the instructions that I give. I'm not asking you to do this to be difficult or out of personal preference. This makes it easier on both of us. I'm the one that works here. I know what I'm doing. Not you.
I hate new registers slower than the old ones. They did that to be in 1996 I liked the old ones I could go as fast as I wanted and the damn thing kept up. I didn't care they were from 1978 they were easy to repair and they were FAST. They got new ones with bigger display wider receipts that had more info on them,,, but that damn small ass scan buffer. It cut my IPM in half. I used to zip through cat food in seconds. After it would hit the limit of the buffer and start loudly BEEPING!! I would have to stop count how many were on the receipt and pull 10 to 15 cans out of the bag and keep going. I went from 65-70 per minute to 34. It sucked. Of course that was back when I actually gave a damn. Now I only hit the buffer during hurricane rushes.
-Rodney
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Yo! I'm doing a Heroes of Olympus rewrite!
I'm not a huge fan of how some scenes go in canon and how the characters esp the gods are handled in Hoo, and after reading one too many rewrite/AU fics, I've decided fuck it, imma make my own.
I'm changing quite a few things, like:
- making Piper's memories not be tampered with and as a result be way closer to Leo (credit to Heroes of Juno by @queenjunothegreat for this idea!)
- MOTHERLY HERA/JUNO WHO PSEUDO-ADOPTS JASON FTW also parental Lupa but that'll be more apparent in a Jason prequel/sequel(depends on how I wanna format it) I’ll write after TLH is done
- slowburn valgrace instead of comphet jiper
- Leo and Piper QPR(+Jason when Piper stops being his #1 opp). Jasipereo ftw babyyy
- the whole series is just gonna have a good deal of focus on the Lost Trio. I'm not gonna shaft anyone ofc but my favorite punching bags characters are just gonna get extra love :3
- Jason's gonna be considerably more feral cuz CMON MAN WAS RAISED BY WOLVES(this is more prominent in the later books cuz in TLH he was alr feral, going at 2 giants with his BARE ASS HANDS)
- Jason has more bite cuz DAMMIT HE DESERVES TO BE ANGRY/BITTER AND CLAP BACK. HIS LIFE IS SHIT, LET MY BRO BE MAD
- more exploration into Jason's character cuz man was shafted so hard :(
- exploration of characters' powers in general, def buffing the Big Three kids to be as strong as Percy cuz holy cow he's OP. I love Percy and his OP-ness, but the other Big Three kids should be just as OP
- Zeus is the God of Justice, which we don't see much of in PJO's characterization of him, but Jupiter is Roman and hence is much more strict in the RRverse, so consequently I think his domain of law and order is more central to Jupiter than his greek counterpart, so I'd like to explore Jason having powers related to that and being an absolute powerhouse when it comes to debates and politics despite hating them
- characterizing the Gods differently from canon as I'm a Hellenist and writing them as they are in canon makes me like. Kinda uncomfortable. I will be using mythic literalism as that is what PJO/HoO's based on and I'm not rewriting the very foundations of the series, so they will still have committed the things they did in mythology, though I'm keeping them largely unaltered from the Og greek mythos and unsanitized as this isn't intended for a young audience like PJO is. Their behavior won't be exactly like their depictions in myths nor how they actually are irl, it's a mix of both(Ex: Zeus has still done heinous shit so he won't be as great as he is irl, but he isn't supremely petty and bitchy like he is in PJO.). This uhh. Will probably mean that PJO events would go differently which would influence HOO but if I think about that too much I'm gonna wanna do a PJO rewrite too and akbhdhd so just imagine that everything that goes on in PJO goes as canon (for now at least) for some reason or another.
- Octavian and Jason are were best friends cuz I said so. This change is inspired by To Storm and Fire(a Heroes of Olympus rewrite) which I am in LOVE with. The antagonistic side characters(like Drew and Octavian) got very little development or character exploration so l'm definitely giving them that in my rewrite!
- The Seven feel and are much closer together
- delving more into the sevens' trauma pre-camp, might also do a one/two shot for each of them. Jason’s a given cuz I’m writing a whole ass fic or even series dedicated to his past, Leo and Piper definitely, probably also Hazel and Annabeth, not sure on Percy and Frank cuz for Frank I’m def going into the trauma that comes with growing up in an Asian household but don’t have too many ideas on how to execute that, and for Percy I don’t have all that many ideas in general outside of the little we know in PJO(I used to think we knew a lot but honestly, we really don’t? Like we know Poseidon left, Sally had to work a lot, Gabe sucks, and he got kicked out of 6 six schools in 6 years and the reasons, but we don’t have any concrete details. There might be more in HoH, I haven’t read it yet so lmk if there is). Open to any ideas for this!
- camp is. Tense. It's been only a few months since the war, grief is still fresh, and Jason being tall, blonde, and blue-eyed with a scar ain't helping 💀 some people think Silena was a hero, others think she was a villain, some people sympathized with Luke, others despised him, there's a lotta differing views.
I have loads more ideas that I won't get into here cuz the post'll get way too long, but l'd love to hear what you guys think! What scenes/characterizations should I change? What topics would you like to see handled differently? What should I add? I'm open to any and all suggestions!
Currently outlining TLH, will start posting it on my ao3 once I have the first chapter and 4-5 buffer ones written so I'll prolly start posting it in a month or two? Idk, depends on my workload irl and if I get hit by writer’s block. Maybe less, maybe more, who knows. I'll be writing a bunch of shorter stories for specific moments, time between books, and namely a prequel/tih sequel focusing on Jason's past and who he was before Hera wiped his memory. Open to any suggestions for additional works too. Feel free to drop any questions and suggestions bout the rewrite here or in my ask box!
#percy jackson and the olympians#heroes of olympus#pjo#hoo#riordanverse#the lost hero#the lost trio#lost trio#jason grace#leo valdez#piper mclean#valgrace#jasipereo#ao3 fanfic#ao3#rewrite#canon rewrite
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Morning. Have a story.
-
It was difficult to do things with Adam’s hand in his. Forced to be together, they fought worse than before.
Charlie’s plan had the opposite effect she was hoping for. Now they couldn’t escape each other until the twenty-four hour timer was up, and so fought like crazy because they couldn’t escape each other.
“Hurry up!” Lucifer hissed with his back turned. The first man took too long to piss.
“It’s fucking hard to go with you there. Calm your ass down.” Adam sniped back.
At last Adam finished and flushed. They washed their hands and were faced with the next problem. Getting ready for bed.
It sucked having to use his left hand to brush his teeth, but his right was occupied. But the real problem was getting undressed.
They could both look away, but they couldn’t let go. Eventually as their clothing was stuck on their arms, Lucifer gave up. He snapped his fingers and used magic to finish getting them both down to their boxers.
Lucifer had to take the left side of the bed and crawling in was more like shuffling.
Muttering polite, but half-hearted, good nights, they tried to sleep.
Adam couldn’t toss and turn. He liked laying on his right side but his left hand was firmly attached to Lucifer’s right hand.
After several minutes Lucifer got pissy. “Fucking, cut it out. Stop moving.”
“I can’t sleep like this.” Adam fidgeted, “I need to lay on my right side.”
“Fine. If it gets you to stop moving.” Lucifer began climbing over Adam. Stopping as he straddled Adam’s waist to figure out where to go next.
Adam’s cock stirred at the image on Lucifer on him like that. Their fingers entwined, on of Lucifer’s hands on his pec. The idea of that twig of a fallen angel riding him popped up and Adam wasn’t sure he’d be able to sleep for a different reason.
Lucifer’s snakey tongue stuck out as he thought. Now Adam was thinking about what a blowjob with that tongue would feel like.
Before he could shove Lucifer off him, Lucifer laid down on his chest and rolled off. Dragging Adam to his side as they now spooned.
Wiggling against him, Lucifer used Adam’s right arm as a pillow and they were now cuddling.
There was no way Lucifer couldn’t feel the chub against his ass. The ass that was just right there. A little bit of fabric in the way.
Adam could spread Lucifer and bury himself deep.
He swallowed hard. Maybe Lucifer would be into that? Want it just as bad? He wasn’t moving away even through there was definitely a dick-
Lucifer snored.
“Motherfucker.”
Adam had to ignore his prick. He was almost there when Lucifer whimpered.
In his sleep, Lucifer’s legs kicked. It was just a tad, but enough for Lucifer’s ass to rub against his crotch.
He wanted to get pissed that he was being teased, but it was obvious Lucifer was having a nightmare.
One arm was trapped under Lucifer’s head, the other was in Lucifer’s hand, so he did the only thing he could. He shook the guy a little.
“Hey!” Adam tried to bring Lucifer back to the awake world.
Lucifer moaned sleepily and that did not fucking help.
“Get up, asshole.”
He groaned and rubbed his head against Adam’s arm. So Adam pulled Lucifer in closer, squeezing him like a squeaky toy.
Lucifer wasn’t hurt, rather he cuddled closer, pulling Adam more on top of him. He let out a content little sigh.
Adam was almost completely on top of Lucifer. “The fuck am I? A weighted blanket?” He grumbled but Lucifer stopped kicking his hooves.
It was a little awkward with their one hands forced to be together, but it was kind of cozy.
When was the last time he held a partner? Cuddled? Adam couldn’t recall.
In heaven he just fucked off after sex. Hell too. Hell-born chicks didn’t expect him to stick around.
It was nice to cuddle.
He rested his head on top of Lucifer’s. Adam closed his eyes, unsure if he’d sleep, but he’d try.
A whiny little, “Adaaaam.” Woke him before the alarm.
Lucifer wriggled against him, under him. That little ass rubbing him just right.
“Wake up!” Lucifer was pinned and Adam grinned.
He ducked his head down to whisper in what he approximated Lucifer’s ear holes to be, “morning, babe.” Adam ground his dick into Lucifer’s ass. “The way you’re grinding against my dick, you’re making me think you want to go for a ride.”
Lucifer grabbed Adam’s face with his free hand and shoved him away. “Fuck off. If anything, I’d top you, asshole.”
Adam rolled his hips against Lucifer. “Bet I could make you a crying, whimpering, mess, begging me for more.”
The sin of pride didn’t like that.
He was quickly shoved onto his back and while Lucifer was back to straddling him, Adam barely recognized the mass of tentacles as being Lucifer before he was enveloped by them.
Adam gasped as his every limb was wrapped around. The tentacles were slippery and it made him hot wherever he was touched. Lucifer’s lips were on his and a tentacle tongue swiped his mouth.
His mouth started to drool as it heated up. Lucifer seemed to be able to bend and twist as through he had no spine or bones. As Lucifer’s mouth left him, what was clearly a dick took its place.
He didn’t gag like he felt he should have, the coating on Lucifer’s tentacle tongue seemed to have numbed his gag reflex and Adam easily deep throated Lucifer’s massive cock.
The dick was in his throat, his face was being fucked as more tentacles wrapped around his cock, heating it up with its lube until Adam felt like he was in a nice soft warm cunt. Another few spread his ass cheeks. It teased his ass. Touching the sensitive skin and warming him until Adam couldn’t stand it anymore and tried to get the tentacle to enter him.
When it did, Adam wanted to moan but his mouth and throat were still full.
It worked him open slowly, teasingly, increasing in size as it fucked him.
The pleasure in him kept rising.
Lucifer was rocking in and out of Adam’s mouth and Adam was enjoying having his mouth and throat used.
As the tentacle in his ass drove itself deep into him, electricity sizzled up his back. His cock had never been in such a tight spot. It felt like he was constantly entering a chick.
Tentacles teased his nipples. Little suckers on the ends of them pumping.
“Good boy,” Lucifer panted from Adam’s chest. “Look at you, bottoming like a champ. I knew you were all talk. You have lips that beg to be wrapped around a big cock. I’m going to cum down your throat and then fill your ass.” Lucifer fucked his face faster. “Can’t leave my new bitch’s ass empty. You won’t be happy until you’re dripping cum for the rest of the day. Or maybe I should plug you. Keep you wet and spread so whenever I want, I can bend you over. Say something if you don’t want that.”
Adam couldn’t make a noise if he wanted to and Lucifer knew it.
“Aww, you love that idea so much.” Lucifer booped him on the nose. “Okay, sweetie. You can spend the day stuffed full and waiting for me to take you whenever I want. Such a good slut.”
Lucifer moaned and the cock in his mouth was pushed in as far as it could go.
As Lucifer pulled out, Adam could taste the cum left on the tip of the cock.
He coughed and took a deep breathe. They didn’t need to breathe, but it was something their body wanted to do.
The tentacles left his ass and Lucifer’s hard cock filled him again.
Adam moaned and writhed. The suckers on his chest drove him nuts. The tentacle held him and he was forced to keep his legs spread, he wanted to wrap them around Lucifer’s waist. Their hands still held together through that spell.
Lucifer changed the angle as he fucked Adam until Adam screamed. “OH GOD!”
“That’s the spot.”
He pounded into it as Adam came.
As Adam went limp he wondered how long Lucifer would fuck him. How long Lucifer would take his pleasure from Adam’s body.
The tentacles and their strange lube kept Adam in a pleasant zone of being teased. Not enough to drive him crazy if he didn’t get off again, but enough to enjoy as Lucifer continued to fuck him.
Adam flexed his muscles around Lucifer’s cock. Hoping to hurry the man up. It felt good but he was exhausted.
Lucifer moaned as he did and it wasn’t long before Adam felt him tense.
Pulling out, Lucifer went back to normal and let himself crash onto the bed. Snapping his fingers so they were clean.
He stretched and sighed, “been a long time since I’ve done that.”
Suddenly, Lucifer sat up. “Almost forgot.” He pressed a finger into Adam’s ass and Adam let out a startled noise as he felt something plug him. It stretched him a little but didn’t feel like it would easily come out.
“What did you do?”
“What I said I would.”
It wriggled inside of him. Rubbing his prostate on occasion.
“Take it out! I can’t go around with this inside of me! It’s bad enough I let you fuck me!”
Lucifer gave him a mischievous grin. “I could. Or I could add more tentacles. Something to catch the cum. Some suckers on your nipples. You can sit at breakfast, trying to keep a straight face as you cum.” Used his free hand, Lucifer groped Adam’s nuts, fondling them and rolling them a little. “I’d love to give you a snack before lunch. Watch you blow me instead of just watching how well you do at getting your face fucked. Earn that protein.”
Adam was perking back up and Lucifer had another tentacle envelope his cock.
“You like that don’t you?”
He whimpered.
“Yeah. Big man needs to be put in his place.” Lucifer grabbed Adam’s head and yanked in into his crotch. “And I think your place is right where I can fuck you. How about it, babe? Want this?”
Adam licked the cock in front of his mouth.
“Good boy.”
A thrill ran up his spine. Oh fuck yeah. He liked that.
“Praise me.” Adam demanded.
Lucifer was taken aback. He was doing an, ‘I’m in charge,’ thing. He was expecting defiance or compliance. Not for Adam to make his own demands.
“Uhh,” Lucifer’s looked Adam over. “You’re hot like that?”
“Yeah, like that, but without the question at the end.”
“You look so fucking good licking my dick, baby.”
Adam licked him some more.
It was like he was now being rewarded for praising Adam right. Lucifer couldn’t tell if he was loosing his grip on the situation. He couldn’t tell if that was a bad thing.
“I want to see you ride me at someone point.” What would Adam do for praise? “See that ass of yours move as you moan. You look so good. I want to see you taking pleasure. Using my cock like a dildo to get off. Bet it’s hot.”
Adam used more of his mouth.
“You’re so good at this. Your pretty mouth was made for blowjobs. Bet you can deep throat on your own.”
It was as deep as Adam could do at this angle, with one mouth and one hand to keep him up. Still, Adam’s tongue licked the tip as he bobbed up and he sucked as he bobbed down, Lucifer rambled on about how pretty his eyes were, how good he was whatever came to mind. Called Adam smart, handsome, talented, until Adam pulled off to moan and cum.
Panting as he jerked Lucifer off. “God fuck me. This feels good.”
Adam went back to blowing Lucifer and Lucifer enjoyed the sight.
He continued to rattle of praise for everything from how soft Adam’s hair was to how well he played music until Lucifer couldn’t hold back anymore and filled Adam’s mouth.
“Open wide.” Lucifer requested.
Adam opened his mouth so Lucifer could see it covered in cum.
“Good boy. Swallow.”
Adam swallowed.
“You are perfect.” Lucifer praised.
Surging up, Adam kissed him.
“Say it again.”
“You, Adam, are perfect.”
Adam kissed him some more. They made out with Lucifer calling Adam perfect over and over between kisses.
They never ended up leaving the bedroom of Lucifer’s suite.
Instead spending the day like a pair of honeymooners.
When the spell wore off and they had free range of their hands again, it only fuelled their lust.
Texts and calls went unanswered. Lucifer had to yell at Charlie that everything was fine and to go away.
When night fell and they’d lost track of how many time they’d had sex. They laid curled up together, feeding each other nibbles of food and drink Lucifer conjured between kisses.
“This is nice.” Adam sighed after finishing his strawberry and cheese.
“Hmm.” Lucifer agreed, kissing Adam’s forehead. “We’ll have to leave eventually though.”
“Do we?”
“Yeah. Reality is closing in, baby.” Lucifer popped a grape in his mouth.
“Lame.” Adam stroked Lucifer’s soft skin over surprisingly hard muscle. If he wasn’t at least fifteen orgasms over his limit and cumming dry, his dick would be getting hard over how attractive Lucifer’s chest was.
“Hate to spoil the mood, but,” Lucifer pressed a chocolate covered almond to Adam’s lips and he took it in his mouth to eat. “Is this something you want to keep doing? Cause, I’m having a great day. And I’d like to keep doing this, you, being together, thing.”
Adam hadn’t really thought about the future. He hadn’t really dated anyone since, 1470 something?
He went out with chicks but it was mostly fucking. Adam didn’t really know how to date. Most of his dates over the eons had been disastrous.
They called him a prick, or some variation of egotistical asshole, depending on the time period. So he stopped bothering with most dates and stuck to mainly one night stands.
Oh there was that one chick recently but she never put out. So were they even dating? To begin with?
He didn’t fucking know. Heaven just gave him wives. They never asked about where the relationship was heading or shit.
“Uhhh, sure?” Adam wasn’t sure. “It’s been a pretty fucking great day.” It had been. “So, yeah. Let’s do it some more.” Getting his brains fucked out regularly sounded great.
“Sure. But. Does that mean you want to date or just screw?” Lucifer was turning a little gold around the edges.
It was cute.
Adam liked it.
He kissed Lucifer.
As he pulled apart his heart beat like they fucked, hard.
The little bastard was worming his way into Adam’s stupid heart. He was such a gluttony for praise.
Of course if he did date Lucifer, he’d get lots of praise. And sex. And cuddles. And hanging out with someone.
“Yeah, alright.”
Lucifer was pretty cute. Especially the way he lit up and smiled at him.
“Stupid heart.” Adam muttered quietly as it pounded harder seeing Lucifer’s stupid smile.
Some cheese and slice of apple were pressed to Adam’s mouth and he chewed as Lucifer talked.
“I’ll have to tell Charlie her holding hands to get along spell worked. But not to use it again.”
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Because Evan-
(It’s a long one…sorry not sorry 😘)
Okay…. I’ve been rewatching some old Buddie scenes because of the potential of Eddie moving back to El Paso and…. excuse my language but…. What the fuck?
It’s like the writers are new or don’t know what to do with Eddie anymore. Or like someway, somehow the episodes are out of order.
In THAT scene, Buck asks “he has grandparents, family” and Eddie reply’s “After Shannon left, they tried to guilt me into giving Christopher to them. It wasn’t what I wanted then, it’s not what I want now.” They then both agreed that no one would fight harder for Chris than Buck.
So WHY THE FUCK haven’t either of them gotten him back yet??
Eddie started season 7 with Marisol and Chris and everyone’s fine. Then Chris is dating multiple girls (Eddie is baffled and doesn’t know how to handle it so he asks Buck for help) and said it has to do with his mom to Buck and we get that EMOTIONAL shot of Eddie devastated after hearing this. Then proceeds to give him a letter to bring about closure for him. Eddie seemed to already have closure or at least repressed it.
Then Eddie meets Kim…. And the Eddie we have loved for 6 seasons is IMMEDIATELY GONE. He does the exact same thing that he told Buck about Christopher was not okay And needed to be fixed (he was BEGGING Buck for help).
Like, my dude, how did you think this was gonna go? You kept everyone in the dark. Your son, your best friend, your GIRLFRIEND and even Kim! What was his end goal? It doesn’t make any sense.
Like I understand that if Gavin wasn’t gonna be around next season, and you need to write him off but have him potentially come back, there were several ways you could have done that but still kept true to the characters. Have Chris go to a boarding school. Or a school trip. Or literally ANYTHING ELSE! Then season 8, keep the Kim storyline, but Chris is already gone and doesn’t witness it. Cause now that whole confession thing with Kim pretending to be Shannon and actually get closure was pointless. If they’d done that with Chris gone, he’d have the closure. Work on the PTSD crawling back up in an empty house, keep the Priest and finding Joy and then keep that for a bit and then heal.
That was a whole side tangent really for the main point I was trying to make, but why does Eddie- lose Chris, grow a mustache, grieve for not having his son, have an episode where a Priest says “let yourself have Joy,” then take it away in the next couple of episodes by saying “I’m thinking of moving to Texas” based on the words of a psycho actor??
Chris is a TEENAGER! Hell- he might still be a preteen, grow the fuck up and go parent your son. You’ve put your foot down before, why is this any different?? After a few weeks, I would have been like “nope, we’re done with this. I get I fucked up, but I’m still your dad so we are gonna talk about this and figure out some common ground.” I understand feeling guilty and not wanting to push him even farther away but you’re not even trying! Phone calls don’t show “I want you here with me,” it says “I’m okay with you being gone.”
You’re thinking moving to El Paso is a great idea… but it’s not. Your parents suck. You know this. YOU MOVED HALF WAY ACROSS THE US TO GET AWAY FROM THEM FOR A REASON! I get you patched things up slightly, but not enough.
ALSO! Why wasn’t Buck an option?!? Because of Tommy? I get because Gavin being out of the show(temporarily?) would have made that impossible but why wasn’t it even mentioned? I mean, He’s run to him before, he’s called him when Eddie had his breakdown and Chris didn’t know what to do. But like THEY HAD THE WILL, why wasn’t it even a factor in this. At the time, it felt like, at least to Chris, that Eddie was incapable of taking care of him, which means that Chris should go to Buck. Not his grandparents.
I just don’t understand what they are doing with these two. E and C. Bucks got his bisexual journey(relationship with Tommy). Bobby has multiple storylines. The Hans had the Mara and new baby storylines. Hen and Karen had the Ortiz/Mara and Denny/Halloween storylines. Athena has literally any storyline involving cops. And all those storylines make sense for each character. Eddie’s and Chris’s doesn’t. They keep pushing Eddie to be sad then happy then making stupid decisions. DEVELOP YOUR FUCKING CHARACTER! You’ve been dropping the ball since at least the network switch. Which I find super funny because yes, he does the emotional scenes super amazing but now it seems like his character is more open. He’s making more funny faces, he’s got the loose hair, he makes comedic jokes. But he’s almost(so close) to reminding me of Buck 1.0.. but it doesn’t fit with the storyline at all. At least to me…
Like does anyone agree with any of this? Am I just seeing things? Did the writers get told Gavin was leaving too late and made this story on the fly and rolled with it? Does Ryan want out of the show and they are keeping it under wraps? Like WHAT IS HAPPENING? Make it make sense!
Ps. I did not proofread this before posting so if something doesn’t make sense, let me know. I was just trying to get down all my thoughts on this. Currently me vvv
#911 abc#buddie#evan buckley#christopher diaz#eddie diaz#because evan#911 spoilers#911 writers#weewoo show#help my sanity#character development
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hi! anonymous asker here, I made an account to post about why I initially thought I was Lion. This is going to start off like me trying to argue it's wrong but that's not what it is. It's also long af, sorry for that, I wrote it out for myself to process it then went back and realized there was a literal question it was in response to. longafness after link, tl;dr: I value and rely on my gut feelings heavily, can't make myself ignore them, but I want them to be predictable and it's uncomfortable when they get out of line
So I felt confident about Lion, and with Badger or Snake, it was "I wouldn't like it but I could see it." Like with Snake, I love me some hedonism and struggle with selfishness - had assumed both those characters were huge Snakes lol - but find it as a whole to be a very "fuck you, I got mine" mentality. Sucks for those strangers in need with no one to come through for them! Like I have STRONG feelings about this, I don't understand how people don't find it horrifying. I actually have a weird opposite thing where I can get FURIOUS on behalf of strangers being mistreated, even hypothetical or fictional ones, in a way I don't for people I know well or even myself. Which is why I thought Badger was possible and maybe I just was resistant due to being burned or because I thought it was boring, but the unpersoning group thing creeps me out. "All people matter… except the ones that don't." It's so close to being really beautiful!
With Bird it was more, "who even does this?" Like with the Bird answer on the "lack of objective truth" question, "it's OK, I thought about it and reality is close enough to the model in my head", that is literally incomprehensible to me as a way a person would think. (My answer was "actually there is objective truth." That was my answer before I even got through the question.)
The main reason why I thought Bird was impossible is the "choosing to care about something" part. I can't do that. Caring about things is not something I can turn on or off at will, even if I want to. At least not important things as opposed to say hobbies, but even then I can't just go "ok self, you're gonna like football now because I said so" and then actually do. It's an organic process, I can kick it off but ultimately I either care or don't care, and if I don't then the farthest I'm gonna get is pretending, or lying to myself while knowing it's a lie. Definitely can't talk myself into caring about a job, god knows I've tried lol. My likes and dislikes are so fundamental to who I am as a person, so sacred even, that the idea that they are deliberately malleable for other people is just, whaaaaa?
Where this really kicks in is friends and relationships, I cannot deliberately make myself like someone I dislike or dislike someone I like, people generally don't grow more attractive to me over time. and it'd make me sad, like relationship-foundation-shakingly sad, if I found out my friends/partner felt that way with me. like they had to try to like me rather than just like me.
I'm not really a logical person either. I start with the conclusion, which is generally based on feelings, and then hope I can justify it in case I ever have to talk about it. (because arguing is stressful enough when I do have a defensible stance let alone when I can't explain it) I have this irrational but unshakeable assumption that my feelings and thoughts should just agree completely. When they don't, that feels bad, but my gut has veto power. To fully talk myself into or out of opinions I have to actually feel good about them, they have to not feel viscerally wrong, or else things get into an uncomfortable self-judging place where I know I should believe something but don't actually, truly, deep down, believe it. Or where none of the stances feel right, that's even more "fun".
A good example of that is actually the "past self is a different person" thing. My past self is still me, the things I did or thought in the past do not disappear just because I've changed nor do their permanent effects on me. I absolutely feel guilty about things I used to believe, and sure some of that is just the cringe of people knowing about it, but even if no one else knew I'd know and that's enough. And yet… I also theoretically believe in rehabilitation and think it's wrong not to, but apparently I actually don't, because that sure isn't something a person who believes in rehabilitation would say! I'm being flippant but this legitimately bothers me, especially because the idea of not believing in rehabilitation feels even more bad.
What convinced me ultimately: I'm not a Trump supporter, obviously. I would like to think it is absolutely impossible for me to become a Trump supporter. But that's what they all say, people become the things they would never EVER become all the time. Which led me to this question: Would it be worse to deliberately choose to do something wrong, or to slowly stop believing it's wrong without realizing? Or does that distinction even matter? Feel free to substitute something less extreme, like working for an evil company, bullying, cheating, selling out, betraying a friend, whatever line you would never cross.
And my answer is actually that the latter is wayyy more disturbing. I'm really big on owning and naming your beliefs and desires. It's a great way to get your conscience to kick in, to actually say it out loud then see how good or bad that felt. Same principle as how, if someone makes a racist joke, you act confused and ask them to explain it to you.
So the former would be gross, like fuck any person who would do it; but at least I could be conscious of the fact that I am choosing to do an evil thing for the sake of, I don't know, stonks. I would be engaged in the process, my conscience would be involved despite being ignored, and I would hope I would feel disgusted with myself forever. (Even considering the possibility is kind of disgusting.) But slowly having your beliefs erode over time into something bad… how do you stop that? How do you do ANYTHING about that? Shit what if it's happening right now? Even if the shift was in the opposite direction and I slowly became a better person without trying… I guess that's good? Can't argue with it being a net positive? But it feels unearned and unreliable, if you can sleepwalk forward you can sleepwalk back.
So that's conscious vs. unconscious I guess. Also I wrote and revised a ton of words to answer the question so there's that too.
bird primary + burnt snake secondary
tl;dr: Fairly sure I'm Lion primary (maybe burned Badger since I sort of envy the idea of close communities, or hedonistic Snake, not sure where that line is)
(the way that divide works out is that basically, Burnt Badgers look like Snakes. They have the Snake's small community, but wish they could cast their net wider. Hedonistic Snakes tend to be more solo, and much more focused on /stuff/. Also, both options make pretty good short-term coping mechanisms.)
but unsure whether my secondary is Bird, Snake/burned Snake, or burned Lion.
I love researching and reverse-engineering and my immediate response to situations is to Google advice, but reactively, not proactively. I am allergic to planning, and prepwork feels stifling and unnatural.
Ooooh, have we got a single-player Environment Snake? (I also think of these as MacGyver Snakes.) Basically just pulling at the things around you in order to solve the problem at hand.
I studied math in college then did a coding bootcamp, and I always felt adrift because both only taught memorizing solutions to individual problems/proofs, not how to solve unfamiliar ones -- i.e., really learning.
However, I neither consider myself flexible nor want to be, and singleplayer Snake is wayyyyyyyyyyyy more comfortable than stuff involving other people. (Complicating factor: not neurotypical.)
I think I can say, pretty confidently, that this system works just fine if you're not neurotypical. :) There's no reason you have to use the multi-player version if you don't want. The most dramatic single/multi player divide is probably Bookkeeper Badger vs Courtier Badger, and there are lots of people who prefer being just one or the other.
I do the "faces" thing reflexively, in the moment, but it doesn't feel like "shifting" or "becoming" anything: just me, lying.
That's Snake. "Becoming" is more of a word that a Courtier Badger would use, they kinda do have to believe it, or it doesn't work. Snake secondaries are a lot more aware of what they're doing, in the moment.
It's interesting that you are just straight-up using the word lie though. In my experience, Snakes are more likely to conceptualize that particular problem-solving strategy as "say it in a way they'll listen to," or something like that. You might just be super direct (and/or like hanging out in Neutral) buuuut... the negativity of "lie" can sometimes point to a Burnt secondary. No sign of that yet, but I'll keep an eye out for it.
I don't have a moral problem with lying; it's often even right since a) telling the truth often hurts people, and b) people do prefer it: most people want to hear what they want to hear, and if that happens to be the truth that's great.
Hmmm. This is sounding like primary stuff. And it's quite reasoned out, which makes me interested in hearing why you went for Lion primary instead of Bird.
But deep down, I guess I resent it. I wish that when I say what I mean it would convince people rather than create problems. I try to ration that to only things that REALLY matter to me, but tbh many things do. I hate arguing.
What I'm hearing here is the Bird primary fantasy of "If I was only able to explain it exactly right, in precisely the right words, then everyone would agree with me." And as you say earlier, it doesn't actually work like that. It sounds like you're feeling a bit cynical in regards to other people a the moment, and I can't exactly blame you.
I would love to be an inspirational secondary but I am bad at inspiring people.
There is definitely some burnt secondary talk going on here.
Family: I'm not close to my father -- he’s a terrible person, serial cheater, racist, etc. I'm closer to my mother, and don't think she's a bad person, but both parents were hypercritical and have horrible tempers, so my childhood felt horrible to live through since I was always getting yelled at or having corporal punishment used for doing something wrong.
Definitely seeing where the burned secondary energy is coming from, if so many of your formative experiences involved being told that the way you were doing things was wrong. I also see why you might have at least a fascination with the confident, firey, speak-your-truth-and-damn-the-consequences Lion secondary.
(On paper this could be called abusive, and anyone else being subjected to this makes me furious, but I'm not fully comfortable with the label for my situation, even though I know that's inconsistent.)
I understand, and I appreciate that. I also appreciate your carefully articulated position, and it's slanting me in the direction of Bird primary. Even though this is obviously a topic you are very emotional about, all those emotions are arranged within the framework of thought. You're aware of and okay the fact that you feel all kinds of different ways about what happened.
Any secondary model came from my mom, but I don't know about primary. She always says my sister and I are "the most important things in her life." (One of the reasons I don’t want kids is that I don’t think I could ever believe or promise them that.) She ostensibly also hates my father and their divorce was vicious, but she kept working for him until he retired, goes on trips with him to see my sister or me, and pressured me for years to un-estrange him because “after all, he’s family” until I gave in and now pretend to have a relationship just enough to placate them. I don't have any ethical problems doing this, it's just irritating.
That is very, very unusual family dynamic. Have to get my head around that. Your mom may have some very intense Badger going on, especially with the the whole "after all, he's family" thing. That could fit go with a nasty divorce, especially if she thought his presence was a threat to you and your sister. On the other hand, she might just be able to compartmentalize to an insane degree, which would probably point to Bird secondary.
I don't understand this aspect of my mom; I observe it happening, but I don't understand it. It feels kind of sad, in an existential way.
Honestly, I agree.
(Another way my dad sucks is that he played favorites with my sister and I, me being the favorite.
Being the Golden Child sucks just as much as being the Problem Child.
The shitty resulting dynamic is I only "care about" his approval to avoid him creating drama that ripples to everyone around him -- he's gotten better but he has literally started shit when I didn't end emails with "love" -- but my sister actually cares about his approval, and it hurts her.)
Secondary-wise, my mom would always harp on me to "pay attention to the people and things around you," and whenever I tell her about solving problems in Snakeish ways she's like "way to go, [me]!" But she also is meticulously planned and scheduled and organized, and hates surprises and not knowing exactly what will happen. She's the kind of person who gets frustrated in April when I haven’t told her my Thanksgiving itinerary, which, like... I don't want to think that far ahead.
She could be either Prep-work secondary, Bird or Badger. If she's a Bird, "pay attention to the people and things around you," points to a a Rapid-Fire Bird (which can look *very* Snakey.) Or it could be a way of describing Courtier Badger. Being that scheduled is more often a Bird thing... but I could also imagine a Badger manifesting like that, especially if she is so concerned with specifically planning holidays.
Low-stakes/high-stakes problem that felt good: This is a high-stakes problem containing a low-stakes problem. I'm rolling them together because they illustrate both aspects of my problem solving.
Higher stakes: That coding bootcamp required being on Zoom 8 hours every day. But I had 3 roommates (part of why I did it was to not have 3 roommates), and they didn't want me there that much. I can't go to coffee shops because either they're loud, or I will make them loud by talking for 8 hours, thus becoming the problem. Coworking spaces are expensive af. I even consider renting a storage unit but I don't think they have power and wifi. The idea I settle on is sneaking onto a nearby college campus: preferably the CS building, to blend in. I scour the college subreddit for posts about what buildings let students in without ID, then scout them out (this is March, the thing doesn't start until May, I'm just high on must-solve-now energy). After ~15 minutes (lol) of walking through campus I decide I've had enough, seems doable. The day of, I leave early in case I have to give up and go home, but that turned out to be completely pointless because tailgating in is shockingly easy. Like it's scary how easy it is. One day a security officer stopped me but even he eventually let me in after I acted increasingly frazzled and panicked -- not ENTIRELY an act but I definitely was playing it up.
I like this story. And I feel good about saying that it is QUITE snakey: what do I have immediately around me, and how can I use it to get what I want in this moment? Even little details like - you're not bothering to come up with a cover story or borrow/forge someone's ID. If you're caught you'll talk your way out of it. You did a little research, then scoped the place out, then were good to go.
Lower stakes: I usually did classes from an empty auditorium (students weren't supposed to be there but no one checked, and also I'm not a student right?). The whiteboard's eraser stand was a few inches away from the wall, and one day I drop my phone in the gap. Shit. The gap's way too high to reach down. I can't ask anyone for help because I'm already 2 layers deep of being somewhere I'm not supposed to be. The stand screws to the wall, but I don't have a screwdriver because who just carries a screwdriver around? (For whatever reason, going to a hardware store didn't occur to me.) I stare at the thing until I realize: I am literally in the ENGINEERING building. I search various offices, ask people for a screwdriver, but no luck. Then I see a board listing the departments. One floor has a "makerspace," and somehow, its door is wide open (the student lounge is locked down but the room with deadly power tools isn't, ???) I grab 5 sizes of screwdriver, then also grab duct tape and a ruler to fish my phone out in case the screwdrivers don't work, which turned out to be a good idea because they didn't
Sounds to me to me like you just MacGyvered a solution :D
One thing I am picking up on is your subtle critique of the existing rules/systems. Getting in via tailgateing is easier than it should be, talking your way past the guard was too easy. The door with the powertools really should be locked, etc. It's making me (again) think Bird primary for you. You've very tuned into the way things run, and how well designed (or not) that is. There's also just a little bit of Birdy rules-lawyer in "Students aren't allowed in this room, but I'm not a student (because I snuck in.)"
Hard decision-making process…. I don’t know. I don’t experience many decisions as hard. I often know what I want to do right away; the difficult part is doing it.
In the language of this system, that's a Burnt secondary.
Or I know what I should do, am obligated to do, have no choice but to do, etc., though sometimes it feels miserable or wrong, like resignation.
Unfortunately that is what it feels like to have a Burnt primary - you just use whatever problem-solving strategy you can at random, since they all feel like a chore and it doesn't really matter.
I can feel proud of making certain "right" choices in an abstract self-congratulatory way, but I never like it or really feel good about it. I either act on something immediately or put it off until the decision makes itself, a drop-dead deadline approaches, I get bored/impulsive enough to do it on the spot, or I suddenly swerve my life toward something I like better.
You're definitely an Improvisational secondary. Which is really fine, even though I know it doesn't feel that way all the time when you come from a family of intense Prep-work people. Just keep an eye on that 'wait until the deadline' impulse. It's very, very common for neurodivergent people to use that last-minute stress adrenaline to kind of hack their brain, and it's not sustainable.
I'd wanted to change careers for years but the actual decision to do the bootcamp was an impulse based on ~3 hours' research the day I encountered it.
That can absolutely work though. You *are* working on the problem and mulling it over in your head long term, even if you are (in the words of another snake secondary) "waiting for the opportune moment."
This is all healthy and well-adjusted, and it definitely has never caused any predictable problems! (Did get a job though.)
Hey, if it's stupid and it works, it's not stupid.
My fantasy: To be successful and well-known in my field; to create the kind of art I want to create and have it be respected/influential. To live the life I want, with the aesthetic I want, and the opportunities from others and follow-through from me to achieve that. The details vary based on the field but that's the general template.
I'd say that's a very human fantasy, without too many details that slant me one way or the other, in terms of this system. There's definitely a focus on the community around you and how you relate to it/integrate into it. And that makes me think Bird (the external primary) is more likely than Lion (the internal primary.)
Characters: I relate to characters who are flawed in the same ways I am -- they feel like cautionary tales -- or sometimes via empathizing in a way the story doesn’t (Carlotta from Phantom got done DIRTY).
It's interesting that you respond to characters who the narrative framing doesn't support, because the narrative framing doesn't support them. I guess that does fit with your interest in constructed systems, and if they're useful/functional or not. Which points to Bird.
On that big pop culture character test I always get Hannah from Girls and Gaius Baltar from Battlestar Galactica: harsh, but not wrong.
(I always get Inara from Firefly and Céline from Before Sunrise.)
It's been a second since I've seen Girls or Battlestar Galactica, but I do think that both of those characters are Bird Snakes, which is honestly impressive since Bird Snakes are easily the least common fictional archetype.
Baltar is clever, adaptive, reactive, he pulls from around him. He also bluffs and will *act* like he's an expert when he really isn't. A lot of his internal conflict revolves around extremely Bird primary rationalization - is this situation really his fault? and if it is, what is he morally/rationally supposed to do about it (if anything?) "Voice of *a* generation" Hannah also has this way of getting caught in her own feedback loops when trying to figure herself out. One of my favorite moments is the bit where she loses her purse on the way back from the wedding, and then rides the train all the way to Coney Island, sits on the beach and eats the slice of wedding cake while watching the sun rise. I think that's beautiful, and a very Snake secondary response.
I also gravitate toward a specific archetype: Blanche from A Streetcar Named Desire, Madame Bovary, Violetta from La Traviata. People who desire an impossible thing deeply and unshakably, temporarily achieve it, and are taken down dramatically.
Now that, I'm thinking is a story structure that you like. And/or you're drawn to these tragic great ladies, living most of the way in a fantasy world. It's a good, cathartic archetype.
What makes me feel powerful: I don’t really resonate with that framing. The closest is that feeling like I have no options is the same for me as feeling powerless.
Okay, "not feeling powerless," I'll take it. And we're back to that Burnt secondary again. I'm hoping you'll leave your Snake a little more room to breathe and play, because it seems like you're a pretty capable person. You manage to do the things you want to get done, and you have an excellent awareness of what are good and bad situations, both for you and just in general.
Thank you to anonymous for such an excellent submission. If you'd like a Sorting of your very own, commissions are open on my ko-fi. :D
If you'd like to read more about the system I'm using, my explanation is right here.
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the good omens/homestuck poll notes are so funny. bite each other's dicks off
#they both fucking suck. for different reasons#but seeing either fan pretend like they're better than the other is so fucking funny#you literally like homestuck. or you literally like good omens tv show. CLOWNS THE BOTH OF YOU#also hs uses 'ironic' racism and ableism and gomens is faux progressive while being homophobic so there's no moral high ground imo#cor.txt
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no no, you don't get it, BBC Sherlock fundamentally ruined Watson's character to the point that he's so unrecognizable that I, someone who loves every version of Watson with all my heart, deeply hated him through the WHOLE show. that shouldn't be POSSIBLE
#notmywatson
#acd canon#sherlock holmes#acd holmes#dr john watson#dr watson#seriously Watson is my favorite character mext to Mycroft and I hated BOTH of them in BBC Sherlock#I get excited seeing different versions of Watson and BBC absolutely ruined that version of that character#I dont like what they turned him into#they turned him into a useless asshole for no reason#dont get me wrong#I didnt like how they characterized sherlock either#fuck that guy he sucked ass#please stop turning holmes and watson into bad people im going to shove forks in my eyes
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Currently having a breakdancing session with myself<333
#im Turing 21 tomorrow#im gonna cry#I don’t want to spend time with my family#i don’t understand#they don’t even like me xjsjhjdhs#its sad that the moment I move away I’ll be low contact with all of them://#my life is going no where#I want to leave#but I’m disabled and not mentally stable enough dndjhdjxks#but they just think I’m lazy#like bro I have doctors appointments smsmjsks#I faint when I’m out in public#i hate my birthday#so much#im not in the closet but at this point I wish I was sjjsjdks#the only reason I’m still home and not kicked out is because my dad cared well he tires#my mother would have kicked me out#girlie gonna kicked me out for shaving my head#and getting a binder#both my parents are transphobic but they’re both different kinds of transphobe#dad is ignorant transphobia#mother fucking dislikes us teehee#she’d rather kick me out#can’t believe I let this women beat the shit out of me everyday for 13 years#whelp#im not ready to be 21#I wasn’t ready to be 20#I wasn’t ready to be 18#I suck at everything wtf dnmdnddm#man idk why I’m still kicking tbh
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My biggest geology pet peeve isn't when people say "dirt" instead of "soil", though I have known many geologists and soil scientists who get very upset about it.
No, it's when people say an earthquake was a magnitude of so and so on the Richter Scale. Richter Magnitude is actually outdated and has limitations, particularly for large earthquakes (which I won't get into). The standard used by the vast majority of seismologists is now the Moment Magnitude. There may be some stray incidences of Richter being used, particularly for a small earthquake, but nowadays the value reported is almost always Moment Magnitude.
And yet!
The news and everyone and their mother continues to call it the Richter Scale! It's not! Especially if it's a big earthquake (which ones on the news typically are), it's the Moment Magnitude!
...And that's my biggest geology pet peeve.
#I never quite grew out of my early fascination with seismology and volcanology#that was what steered me towards geology as a smol#but I decided to specialize elsewhere after discovering how much math and physics those fields need#...I'm not gonna explain the difference between Richter and Moment in detail#it's all calculations really. Moment uses more data and better calculations than Richter.#that's all I will say. look it up if you're curious.#I taught the magnitude scales to students so many times in grad school I'm done explaining them lol#I will say tho that both Richter and Moment are better than fucking Mercalli#there's a reason we don't use Mercalli#and it's the same reason the Enhanced Fujita Scale kinda sucks sometimes#it's based on damage rather than actual measurements of environmental conditions#anyways I better finish my lunch break and get back to work#speecher speaks
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Half-drow Tav, seeing Astarian: classic good looks, white hair, red eyes. let me guess: you're half-drow?
Astarian: you could not be more wrong, but im delighted you were thinking of me
#astarian#tav#bg3 tav#tavily#she was so off base for the first couple days they knew each other#poor Tavily thought he was Like Her and she was hoping she could find some solidarity#she grew up in one of the better Drow Houses but like she's not just Half Drow she's also Half Elf#and the Drow *hate* Elves so like she's an abomination to them#only reason she wasn't killed when younger was that she is uncannily good with a blade#so she see Astarian and is like “oh you might be like me!!!”#poor sweet summer child no he is not#she's not fazed by the vampire thing as much as he thought she would be#ironically they do find solidarity together in that “their lives fucking sucked pre-tadpole”#as they learn each other's backstories they'll go to the ends of hte earth to protect each other#once Cazador is dead Tavily cuts off his head and heart to burn Just In Case b/c magic is weird#Astarian helps her break into her drow family's house in the underdark to assassinate her great-aunt#theyre both vicious fighters but in 2 different ways#Astarian believes in overkill and enjoying the slaughter and making it personal if thats an option#tavily is brutal and efficient and doesn't linger over bodies once theyre down
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After every (American) election, there's always a bunch of posts going around exposing psyops or pointing out how there were posts on this site designed to get people to not vote blue.
And in the lead up to every (American) election, there's a bunch of posts being reblogged that are clearly either psyops or manipulative posts that tell people it's perfectly okay for them not to vote at all.
Like, there's history going back years on this hellsite where the alt-right intentionally tried to undermine or indoctrinate people so they get/stay in power. History a lot of y'all know of or were even there for and saw go down in real time.
But sure, be uncritical of what you reblog, don't bother looking at the source website, or just put things out there without caveats or nuance.
#i know media literacy is trash these days#and that there's intentional misinformation/no information about elections#but i've seen people who have reblogged things about psyops in the past who both reblog and support current ones#but unlike other social media sites you can reblog a post but then stick nuance in the tags#you can be critical of something while also gritting your teeth and supporting it because the alternative is worse#you can (and should) also be critical of the systems that lead to that in the first place#throwing your hands up and saying there's no point and you aren't going to bother#and it's fine if others do the same#is just giving up and saying it's too hard for you and you don't care about the harm that comes to others#the canadian system is different (though first past the post tries to make it the same)#but you can bet i'd vote for trudeau even though fuck him and his racist ass#if the alternative was pp because while trudeau sucks for many reasons#pp is fucking terrifying to me as a disabled queer person#and i'm lucky in that i'm white and canadian and can pass as cishet so i'd be spared the worst of it#others would not be so lucky#especially when his fans are eager to hate crime people and only hold themselves back because they would face social consequences#also learn what is private criticism you keep to yourself or talk to friends about#and what is okay to talk about publicly#some things you don't fucking say when it will be taken as permission for antipathy or approval by fascists
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"WONDERFUL SHOW TONIGHT, FORREST."
a KILLER FREQUENCY Marie Campbell/Forrest Nash ship playlist on YT
"Good to talk to you again, Forrest. You know, I've really enjoyed our chats tonight." "I guess we've had some moments."
Tracklist under the cut
Is Everybody Going Crazy? - Nothing But Thieves / The Perfect Girl - Mareux / We Don't Have To Dance - Andy Black / Night Issues (Nightcall x Daddy Issues) Mashup/Remix - FuturePastPerson / "Bassically" - Tei Shi / Cold Summer - Mareux / Diet Mountain Dew - Lana Del Rey / Destruction Of Us - Mr.Kitty / Teeth - 5 Seconds of Summer / HUSH - Ari Abdul / DTLA - Mareux / Make You Mine - Madison Beer / FEAR YOU - Kat Von D / Bad Romance - Lady Gaga / Dark All Day - GUNSHIP / Maniac (feat. Conor Mason of Nothing But Thieves) - AWOLNATION
#killer frequency#marie campbell#forrest nash#slashers#video games#marie/forrest (killer frequency)#forrest/marie (killer frequency)#together their first names make the initials for motherfucker :) <3 and i think that's beautiful#playlist#fanmix#“you really plugged mareux 3 times in one playlist huh” Listen. if we're on the assumption that marie is kind of half goth#also this color scheme of their character colors w/ the loading bar u see at the start&end of the game isn't perfect but…it's beautiful ha#gosh im sorry im aware this will be more pleasant listening if u have an adblocker. i hope u do……#p.s. hosted in my sidepiece/bootycall channel. this isnt really what i use/sub from on the daily so u wont get much interaction if any#with all that out the way Pls if u listen let me know what your vibe of this ship is post-whistling night (or in general??) + this playlist#for me forrest was never a target of hate but more someone who Really got in the way to the point of getting on the hitlist#if we keep to the “sense of justice” marie got from him +other strong traits then diff scenarios open up where she considers sparing him#and from there i kinda picture the dynamic At First as Feral beast with Shiny new chew toy (who confirmed Can Flirt Back) but then develops#forrest is bitter/dark/temperamental & sentimental enough to meet her perspectives part way#it all grows into a turbulent friendship that goes into a turbulent romance. and Perhaps peace?? s/o to anyone who's into this lol#excuse the non-fanfic happening in these tags but also imagining them bonding from bad parents lmao but from two diff perspectives#where marie would stab hers and probly forrests once theyre friends if he was hurt by 'em#but i like imagining forrest on more of a “they sucked but it was a different time & they didnt know better”#with someone specifically like marie replying No fuck them severely#“Oh what? Youre gonna get revenge for me? :) By killing their kid who is me? :)” / “FINE Forrest I just might”#and both of them possibly being musically inclined but lol for diff reasons went on another path. they can Play oh boyo this ship's a treat
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Lucifer watched River smack Adam on the chest and giggle as the fatty tissue jiggled. Adam didn’t stop her, just continued to lay in a semi sitting, semi laying position with his legs crossed on the bed as he scrolled on his phone. One hand holding onto the baby so she wouldn’t slid off.
She smacked again and babbled, “ma ma ma ba ba ma maba bama.” Altering the level of her voice, playing with the different volumes she could make, as she did.
“This is cute.” Adam turned the phone to show Lucifer a little blue dress with a mama duck followed by a couple ducklings embroidered on the bottom.
Lucifer nodded, “hmm.” He didn’t know why Adam thought River needed a new dress, but he just told himself the same thing he’d been repeating since River was delivered by the stork. A happy Adam was a reasonable Adam. Of course back then Adam had been a hormonal mess that switched from bone crushing anger because Lucifer wanted to hold their daughter, to crying over how perfect River was, to pure elation because River smiled reflectively like a pendulum.
He’d calmed down a lot once the baby blues passed. But Lucifer wasn’t interested in rocking the boat.
Doting on River made Adam happy. Adam being happy meant mama’s girl River stayed calm too. A happy Adam and River meant his life was calm.
“Did you want to get it?” He asked.
“Hmm, nah. I was thinking of something yellow.”
“Okay.” Whatever Adam wanted. Lucifer didn’t understand it, but he understood that a happy Adam just made his life that much easier.
River grew tired of smacking Adam chest and wiggled off to squirm her way to him instead.
Lucifer smiled down at her on the bed and wiggled his finger over her. She babbled and grabbed his hand.
“Aww.” They both cooed at her.
She jammed his finger in her mouth suddenly and bit down on it with her two new teeth.
He screamed and yanked his hand away.
She broke the fucking skin! He was bleeding!
River cried and Adam comforted her. “Shhh shhh shhh. It’s okay. Daddy didn’t mean to scare you.”
Lucifer glared at Adam but Adam only had eyes for his darling River.
“She bit me!”
Adam scoffed. “She’s teething. River bites me all the time, and in more sensitive places than a finger.” Adam gave him a mocking pout, “Does the big bad boss of hell have an owie?”
“Yes! She has sharp teeth! I’m bleeding!”
“Okay, okay. Give it here.” Adam held out his hand for Lucifer.
He gave Adam his hand and Adam looked at it for a moment before sticking it in his mouth. He sucked on the digit and his tongue swirled around it.
When Adam was done, Lucifer was hard.
Adam handed River over. “I’ll go get you a bandaid. Hold her for a minute.”
Lucifer wait for Adam to make it to the bathroom and leaned into whisper into River’s ear. “I will buy you a pony to bite me again and then take your nap.”
She giggled and smacked him in the face.
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i've been trying to schedule a time to take my driver's test for literal months because i shit you not there have been literally zero appointments at any of the five (5) dmvs within 20m of me that offer the driving test. so i scheduled one at a place that's a literal hour drive bc i was like. well at least i have it on the books and if i have to drive an hour out there to do it so be it! but i've been regularly checking the website at odd times (as suggested by multiple people) for any cancellations.
and lo and behold! i just checked it (literally 2m ago) and there was an 8a open slot at a place 10m from where i live. i had to think about it for maybe about 30s or so (checking the map to make sure it actually is close to me, considering if anyone i know with a car would be available to take me over there to take the test at 8 fucking am in the morning) and by the time i convinced myself i might as well just do it the fucking appointment had already been snatched by someone else.
i get that dmvs are probably just as understaffed as anywhere else. but this is fucking untenable to me. like. how are you so understaffed that i have not been able to schedule this appointment for literal months (i have been regularly checking! since last fucking october!) at any of the places that are within a normal distance to where i live? why on earth are dmvs in fucking st. cloud somehow more available despite the fact that they only have one vs the like five within the twin cities limits? why are you not opening more slots/hiring more driving instructors to ensure that there is plenty of availability for this apparently so essential service that you are constantly booked up for it??? most importantly why is there not!!! a fucking dmv!!! that offers a driving test!!! actually in one of the twin cities? why are they only in the suburbs? i am chewing off my own arm, this whole process is incredibly frustrating and i can't believe i caught a lucky break for the first time in five months and lost it because i hesitated for less than one minute.
#liveblogging life#when i tell you i screamed i am Not Joking#next time im not fucking hesitating i'll take whatever slot theyve got even if it's for the next fucking day#i have a booking in fucking rochester but a) it's like an hour+ away#PLUS the only person who doesnt have anything happening during dmv hours is my dad who lives an hour away from me AND from rochester#which means he has to drive an hour to pick me up and then we both have to drive an hour to get to this appt#which means this turns from a 20m appointment to a full fucking day affair for NO! GODDAMNED! REASON!#other than for some reason the fucking five different dmvs within 20 miles of me just cant seem to keep an appt slot open to save their lif#i get that the reason we dont have driving test dmvs in downtown mpls is bc the streets suck lol#but like. you serve a city of A LOT of people so you should maybe have more than THREE within the suburbs#and two more within 20m of the city#like maybe. you should have a few more than that. if youre that seriously overbooked#told by multiple people the only way i can get an appt is if i check in the middle of the night#how is that acceptable? jesus christ. JESUS CHRIST! im so annoyed right now.
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Is it so hard to not post hate in main tags? Like is that such a hard thing to ask??? Just block the damn tag if you don't like a specific version man, i don't go into the tags to see post number 7291 about how someone else hates a specific version of a show I like. Fuck off.
This goes for both tristamp and trigun 98 haters BTW. Just shut UUUUUP I don't wanna HEAR IIIIIIT
#speculation nation#i love both versions for different reasons and i am so TIREDDDDD#this was brought on by a post about 98 tho. shut up shut up shut UP#if you dont like it then FINE but i happen to love it and i go into the tags to see stuff for all of it#and i dont wanna see ur take on assuming that 'everyone agrees it sucks' fuck OFF#im not even a nostalgic fan i watched stamp first but i love 98 too. very much#in total. 'your experiences are not universal' so shut UUUUUUUPPPPPPP#i will and have blocked people over this. as i did just now!#like this isnt the same as good faith critiquing. both versions have flaws.#but going 'this entire show sucks and everyone who loves it is wrong' STOP. JUST STOP. POSTING THIS IN MAIN TAGS !!!!PLEASE!!!!#random surge of anger lmao im at work rn anyways. just. UGH.
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thinking about my oc Bytte. and. her gender is Aro. her Aromanticism is inextricable from her gender experience.
#toy txt post#i love to make an alloaro oc whos a woman navigating a usually masculine role in society far before we ever coined aromanticism#whos Aromanticism informs so much about her but with no language to adequately describe it she doesnt really know how#and so she does kinda blow up her relationships by accident bc she does Want human connection#and what she Wants is to fuck someone whos friends with her and chill about it who will just be fucking Normal about it#and Not Make It A Big Thing and also for other people to not make it a big thing and they can hang out and be friends#but never fucking domesticize her. and its in part a rejection of the misogynistic role of Wife in historic (and even modern) society of#course but its also a rejection of the relationship hierarchy of Wife. of the romanticization. bc of her circumstances the only role on#offer of course has been Wife. but in the hypothetical situation where she was offered the role of Husband? she would at first probably#accept that. in theory. it sounds fine. sure. but if she tried to LIVE like that. to Live even as a Husband. it would Also be Wrong. to put#any of her relationships into that framework is to fundamentally ruin them forever. and she is living in a society that wants that to be#the only framework. anyway its crazy how ive made a character like that exactly Twice at least#(Bytte and Lucille. Bytte is a bit more genderfucky than Lucille. Lucilles gender is also ugly violent scary woman. for reasons)#both of these characters rn are cis. well. not /cis/ cis but theyre afab and women bc i want to explore that but i am thinking lately about#a transfem take. to explore. ive considered it and i dont think i want that for Bytte? all that means is watch out for future ocs#i could do a character very similar to Bytte as transfem and it would be really good but theres something about#and honestly it would probably make more SENSE for Bytte? due to gender roles in like ancient sparta or whatever?#but if shes transfem in sparta i think there would be subtle nuanced differences in how ppl interact w her that i dont necessarily want for#her? if that makes sense. i know this reasoning sounds weak in a vacuum but i Promise i have way more characters than this and i do want to#explore things differently. i promise there are complex transfem characters in witchverse and also complex characters whos asab im not#decided on yet. there are some im not sure i ever want to be decided on? the downside of being incredibly specific about fictional#characters is that it doesnt leave you all room for headcanons#sorry. good news is you can go make your own ocs about it 👍 idk. much to explore. much to think about#also sometimes a ''''cis'''' character CAN have a fun gender to play with honestly its just that mainstream media Never does#so theres no good way to be like no but listenn i swear its fun#anyway this is all moot cos im not a fucking writer im just making up little guys and doing nothing#also anyway. i think my gender is also aro and a little ace. personally. also before u get mad at me about these 2 ocs being like#probelmatic aro rep or smth: 1) aforementioned its moot anyway im not even a writer 2) these arent the only alloaro ocs i have its just#funny that i made this one twice lmao 3) my brain is huge. my ocs are rad. suck my ass. ♡#if only i Was a writer tho god. thered be sooooo many aro characters fr fr
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