#they both emotionally devastated me (but in the best way)

[shegoesbyjoy]

[DISCO ELYSIUM]

[LINK CLICK | 时光代理人]

something something both of these pieces of media aren't afraid to dive deeply into some of the most emotionally difficult realities of our existence but still champion hope above all else something something both highlight how humanity has the capacity to be wonderful and horrendous in equal measure and the latter doesn't mean you stop having faith in the former something something both have a gripping murder mystery but in the end it's not about the murder not really it's about people and kindness and love and loss and devotion and betrayal and understanding and patience and what it means to be human and what it means to be alive

[meara-eldestofthemall]

Gee, thanks DC! You Just Turned Bruce Into An Irredeemable Ass.

So, at the end of Gotham War Bruce has officially lost everything. Alfred is still dead, Selina is "presumed dead" and Bruce is both financially and morally broke. Why, you may ask, is Bruce so much worse off this time? Let me count the ways.

He preformed a psychic lobotomy on Jason

The "it's for your own good" excuse only makes the mental rape undertaken by Jason's own father that much more heinous.

Just when you think Bruce can't sink any lower he does. When Dick recognizes that Bruce has lost it, he attempts to use a failsafe disconnect that Bruce himself built into the system. How does Nightwing get thanked for that? Well that brings us to number two on the list.

Batman attacks up his eldest son for doing what he's supposed to do when Batman has gone rouge.

Bruce beats him up because nothing proves you are in control of your sanity like hitting your children. While Dick is holding back, Bruce does no such thing. He hits Nightwing hard enough to send him flying. It could have gotten even worse if Tim hadn't shown up.

Tim arrives and attempts to talk some sense into Batman.

Tim tries to talk Bruce down. It doesn't go well. When Robin is trying to help, as he always does, Batman uses the attempt to reason with him to put the smack down on his son. Bruce could have killed Tim but apparently feels no remorse or guilt.

If there was any teeny tiny little doubt that Bruce will not win the Father of The Year award in 2023 it died a horrible screaming death when Batman abandons his children to potential arrest. Yes, he left a batarang for Dick and Tim but any glimer of possible hope associated with that action was instantly extinguished by Damian's reaction to Batman's callous betrayal.

Bruce abandons Damian.

Look at Dami; he's devastated. Since he came into Bruce's life, Damian has struggled with feelings that he can never earn his father's love and respect. Well, that negative self-image was reinforced in way that may never be repairable. Bruce just utterly destroyed a 13 year old child because of his inability to feel any kind of empathy.

And how does this all end? The best part is that Bruce takes all of his parental responsibilities and dumps them onto Dick.

Thank you Chip Zdarsky and Trini Howard. You've taken Batman from being an edgy anti-hero and made him into a callous monster. Part of me hopes that Bruce never comes back because he doesn't deserve his family.

The only positive aspect in this convoluted mess is that Damian and Tim will be far better off with Dick than with Bruce. Yes, Tim is mostly independent but he still needs guidance (particularly since Tim's first instinct is to try and save Bruce). Damian is essentially Dick's son emotionally anyway so this might help to sustain the positive character growth we've seen in him as of late.

The point of this rant is to wonder what on earth DC thinks they're doing. This story arc has been pure character destruction as far as Bruce is concerned. It's bad storytelling too; rushed, frenetic and massively disappointing.

Hasn't the popularity of Good Dad Bruce in Wayne Family Adventures proved that fans are tired of Bruce being a dark depressed and brooding edge lord? We all accept that Batman is a character with deeeeep issues who is in desperate need of therapy. I, however, draw the line at Bruce being an abusive a**hole.

In years to come when fans wonder when Batman jumped the shark, this is the plot line they'll point to.

[andy-15-07]

Beneath the Veil of Fate

masterlist ! pairing Feyd-Rautha x reader

Dune Masterlist

The desert sands of Arrakis stretched endlessly beneath the harsh sun, bearing witness to a clash that would shape the fate of the universe. Beneath the scorching heat, Y/N stood on the sidelines, her heart torn between loyalty and love as she watched her husband, Feyd Rautha, engage in combat with the legendary Paul Muad'Dib.

Spectators gathered around the arena, their voices hushed in anticipation as the two warriors faced off. Feyd, fueled by his thirst for power, exuded confidence as he prepared to confront his adversary. Paul, the mysterious and enigmatic figure known as the Kwisatz Haderach, stood tall and unwavering, his eyes betraying a depth of knowledge far beyond his years.

Y/N's breath caught in her throat as the battle commenced, her gaze fixed on the swirling dust kicked up by the combatants' movements. She knew that regardless of the outcome, the consequences would be dire. But she never imagined that her heart would be torn between the man she loved and the cause he fought for.

As the fight raged on, it became increasingly clear that Feyd was outmatched. Paul's movements were fluid and precise, his every strike calculated to exploit his opponent's weaknesses. Despite Feyd's best efforts, he found himself unable to gain the upper hand against the formidable Muad'Dib.

Y/N's heart ached as she watched Feyd falter, his once-confident demeanor giving way to desperation. She knew that he was fighting not just for himself, but for the future of House Harkonnen and all they had built on Arrakis. But even as she wished for his victory, she couldn't ignore the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"Feyd, be careful!" Y/N called out, her voice barely audible over the din of the crowd. Her words were a desperate plea, a silent prayer for his safety amidst the chaos of battle.

But Feyd seemed not to hear her, his focus consumed by the struggle before him. Every blow he landed was met with a counterstrike from Paul, each one more devastating than the last. Y/N could see the toll it was taking on him, both physically and emotionally, as the battle wore on.

Then, in a moment that seemed to stretch on for eternity, Paul saw his opening. With a lightning-fast movement, he disarmed Feyd and brought him to his knees, his blade poised at his throat.

The crowd erupted into cheers as Paul emerged victorious, his triumph cementing his status as the savior of Arrakis. But for Y/N, there was no joy in the moment, only heartache and despair as she watched her husband defeated before her eyes.

"Feyd…" she whispered, her voice barely a whisper as she rushed to his side. She knelt beside him, her hands reaching out to cradle his face as tears welled in her eyes.

Feyd met her gaze, his own eyes filled with a mixture of pain and resignation. "I'm sorry, my love," he murmured, his voice barely audible over the roar of the crowd. "I have failed you."

But Y/N shook her head, her heart breaking as she leaned in to press a kiss to his forehead. "No, Feyd," she whispered, her voice trembling with emotion. "You haven't failed me. You've always fought with honor and courage, and I am proud to stand by your side, no matter what."

And in that moment, as they faced defeat together, Y/N knew that their love was stronger than any conflict, their bond unbreakable in the face of adversity. Though the battle may have been lost, their love would endure, a beacon of hope in the darkness of uncertainty.

[brookghaib-blog]

Kaiju n8 : The secret of Hoshina pt.2

pairing: hoshina soshiro x reader

summary: The beggining of the story between Y/N and Hoshina

an: pls be free to warn me about any mistakes in my writing

previous chapter

—

Years before Mina Ashiro assumed command of the Third Division, the unit thrived under the leadership of Captain Y/N. Known for her tactical brilliance and compassionate leadership, she was a beacon of hope and resilience for her team. Vice-Captain Hoshina Soshiro, a master swordsman and strategic genius, was her right-hand man, his loyalty to Y/N evident in every mission they undertook together.

Their relationship began strictly professional. Y/N admired Hoshina's dedication and his ability to remain calm under pressure, while Hoshina respected her leadership and the way she inspired everyone around her. As they worked together, their bond deepened, forged in the crucible of countless battles and shared hardships.

It was during a particularly harrowing battle with a massive kaiju that their feelings for each other began to surface. The kaiju had attacked a civilian area, and the Third Division was dispatched to neutralize the threat. Y/N and Hoshina led the charge, coordinating their team with precision and bravery. In the heat of battle, they moved in perfect sync, their trust in each other unwavering.

As the battle raged on, Y/N found herself in a precarious situation, surrounded by debris and with the kaiju bearing down on her. Hoshina, sensing her peril, fought his way to her side, his sword slicing through the enemy with lethal efficiency. Together, they managed to bring down the kaiju, but not without sustaining injuries.

In the aftermath, as they caught their breath amidst the ruins, their eyes met. For the first time, they allowed themselves to acknowledge the deeper connection that had been growing between them.

"Soshiro," Y/N said, her voice barely above a whisper, "I don't know what I would have done without you."

Hoshina stepped closer, his usually stoic expression softening. "You never have to find out. I'll always be here for you."

Their relationship blossomed in secret, hidden from the rest of the Division to protect their positions and avoid any potential distractions. They cherished their stolen moments together, finding solace in each other's arms amidst the chaos of their duties.

Months later, Y/N discovered she was pregnant. The news brought a wave of joy and hope for both of them. They began making plans for a future beyond the battlefield, dreaming of a life where they could raise their child in peace, where they eventually organized a very secretive wedding to celebrate their love and become official in the eye of heaven itself, hoping to be blessed with happiness and the health of their baby.

One evening, after a long day of training, they sat together in their secret haven, a small, secluded part of the base garden that few knew about. The stars were bright above them, and the air was filled with the scent of blooming flowers.

"Soshiro," Y/N said, leaning against him, "I've been thinking about names."

Hoshina smiled, wrapping an arm around her. "Oh? Do you have any favorites?"

She nodded, a soft smile playing on her lips. "If it's a boy, I was thinking of Kaito. And if it's a girl, maybe Aiko."

"Kaito and Aiko," Hoshina repeated, the names rolling off his tongue with warmth. "I love them."

Their happiness, however, was short-lived. During a routine patrol, a new and unusually aggressive kaiju attacked. The battle was fierce, and despite their best efforts, Y/N was gravely injured. In the chaos, she lost their baby, a devastating blow that left her physically and emotionally shattered.

Realizing she could no longer continue in her role, Y/N made the painful decision to resign from the Third Division. She needed time to heal, and the memories of what she had lost were too painful to bear in the place where it had all happened.

The night she told Hoshina of her decision was filled with tears and heartbreak. They sat together in their secret garden, the weight of their grief heavy between them.

"Soshiro," Y/N said, her voice trembling, "I can't stay here. Every corner of this place reminds me of what we lost. I need to leave."

Hoshina held her tightly, his own heart breaking. "I understand," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "I wish I could come with you, but the Division needs me. Promise me you'll stay safe."

"I promise," she whispered, clinging to him as if trying to imprint his presence into her memory.

Y/N's departure was a quiet affair, known only to a few trusted members of the Division. She left behind a legacy of strength and sacrifice, her absence felt deeply by those who had served under her. Hoshina, in particular, felt the void she left behind, her absence a constant reminder of their shared pain and the future they had lost.

Years passed, and Mina Ashiro took command of the Third Division. Hoshina continued his duties, carrying the weight of his loss in silence. He never forgot Y/N, cherishing the memories of their time together and the love they had shared. He often found himself in the secluded garden, looking up at the stars and remembering the nights they spent dreaming of a brighter future.

Despite the pain, their story was one of resilience and hope. It was a reminder that even in the darkest times, love could endure, giving strength to face the challenges ahead. And though they were apart, the bond between Hoshina and Y/N remained unbroken, a testament to the enduring power of their love.

Every year, on the anniversary of the battle where they lost their child, Hoshina would visit a small memorial he had built in the garden. He would lay a single white flower on the stone and stand in silent remembrance, his heart heavy with both sorrow and gratitude for the time they had shared.

And though being separated by distance only, the memory of their love continued to guide Hoshina, inspiring him to protect those who couldn't protect themselves, just as Y/N had always done. Their love story, was marked by both joy and tragedy, both hoping that their healing would allow them to be together again.

[obihoebikenobi]

Twenty Poolverine Fic Recs - #1

November 3rd, 2024

In not particular order, I'll be making a fic rec of 20 poolverine fics per week from now through the end of December to highlight some of my favorites. Please make sure you note the tags on ao3 before reading!

Completed Fics

Promise Me We’ll Be Back In Time - fanficbug, E, 108K

time loop, angst, getting together

I think the author says it best in their summary: "The one where Wade gets stuck in a time loop and decides to play 50 First Dates." This fic is a well-rounded masterpiece, and absolutely beautifully fleshes out this concept. This is easily one of the best fanfics I've read in years. Millions of kudos.

where soul meets body - Edgebug - E, 33.8K words

mind-sharing, hurt/comfort, getting together, mind sex

This is my absolute favorite finished poolverine longfic. It's set after the events of DPW and expands into the wildest, most perfectly deadpool-esque chain of events. This is a perfect fic, I beg of you to read it.

second nature to me now - Edgebug - E, 36.8K words

casefic, fake/pretend relationship, angst with a happy ending

As with all of edgbug's fics, this was absolutely phenomenal. I love the fake relationship trope, and this almost feels like an episode of psych with the humorous crime solving premise. Read it in one sitting and have read it twice since. Don't pass up on this one!

Dangling Like a Thread - CenturyUnited - T, 6.5K words

self-harm, mute Wade, non-graphic sex, emotion hurt/comfort

In this one, Wade loses his voice and learns how to communicate with Logan. Very sweet fic, love the characterizations of both Wade and Logan in this one.

It’s not me, it’s you. It’s more than I can chew. - sandiazucar - T, 6.1K words

hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, nightmares, Wade whump

Logan hurts Wade while having a nightmare and Wade has to take a break. Emotionally devastating in the best way possible.

like a dog with a bird at your door - midnightdragons - T, 2K words

domestic fluff, cuddling, chronic pain, hurt Logan

His adamantium bones make Logan cold in the winter and Wade helps him out. So perfectly sweet, I love this short little fic.

Not this time, peanut - peach_flavour - E, 6.3K words

insecure Logan, angst, alcohol abuse, emotionally repressed men

More angst guys, I can't help myself. This author characterizes them so well, I've read this several times.

happiness (like a bullet in the back) - handfulofteeth (s0norus) - E, 15.5K words

domestic fluff, chronic pain, bathing/washing, bottom Wade, top Logan, praise kink, dacryphilia

This 5+1 fic is soft and hot and good as fuck. Amazing writing and characterizations.

WIPS

Mr. Forgettable - Arwriter - M, 21.1K words, 4/? chapters

hurt/comfort, temporary amnesia, getting together

This fic is my absolute favorite WIP right now. Logan suffers a head injury and starts experiencing gaps in his memory and active memory loss. Absolutely delicious whump and great writing!

Don't Want To Be A Fool For You - HeavensAche - E, 45.5K words, 2/3 chapters

getting together, bartender Logan, panic attacks, PTSD

Logan works through living in a new timeline and his anger issues. Super well-written and a captivating read!

unhappy man syndrome - gossippool (fearandhatred) - no rating, 15.5K words, 4/8 chapters

Wade has chronic pain, hurt/comfort, nightmares, angst

This one is so angsty (for both Logan and Wade) and perfect. Please, please give it a read.

It's Just Chemistry - farmhandler - E, 23.8K words, 4/5 chapters

Logan and Wade whump, hurt/comfort, feral Logan, established relationship

Logan rejoins the X-men and their first mission goes wrong when Logan gets accidentally dosed with a toxin. Very whumpy and emotionally painful which is my absolute favorite. The author writes beautifully, and I adore the premise.

Hellraiser, Heartbreaker - prettyponyridetohell - E, 6.6K words, 2/6 chapters

jealous Logan (worst wolverine), references to X-men movies

Logan and Wade annnnd young cagefighter Logan appear in this fic. I suggest you just go and read it immediately, it's that fucking good.

SMUT/PWP

like the summer into rough hands - Edgebug - E, 3.1K words

claw/hand kink, coming untouched

Missionary’s Downfall - thewinkitty - E, 14.4K

sex pollen, trans Logan, breeding kink Hither, Hither, Love - phantasmagorical_rilianne - E, 4.5K words

light dom/sub, bottom Logan, angst, fluff and smut

The Urge (Is So Demanding) - sterlingstars - E, 4.2K

piss kink, established relationship, bottom Logan

Can't Sweat It Out - RatFlavored - E, 8.3K words

bottom Logan, service top Wade, rimming, overstimulation, multiple orgasms

black irises in the sunshine - handfulofteeth (s0norus) - E, 16.6K

bottom Logan, insecure Logan, panty sniffing, subspace, praise kink

guess - handfulofteeth (s0norus) - E, 16.2K words

Wade in panties, Logan has a praise kink, power bottom Wade, puppy play, blood kink

[riacte]

some thoughts about some ren ships:

ren/martyn: it's fine and it's cool until springtime comes and there's a melancholy in the tepid, humid air that clings to your skin and clogs up your lungs. and it's really fine until you start planting carrots again in the way he did and you realise all the small moments in your life have been defined by those few months you spent with him. there's a before and an after. his influence has melted so casually in your daily life that you don't realise it. it takes years for the intensity and absence to sink in even though it's always been there. and you finally understand. what you felt on those carrot fields was love. (note the past tense. note that you're a liar.)

ren/doc: words cannot describe what happened in that damned van. they're not husbands, they're FREAKS. they almost wish they did romantic shit like stargazing and going on dates but it's just a lot of being cooped up in the tiny van and the intimacy of repairing each other's prosthetics and lying in the same bed and staring at each other for hours while listening to nothing but the hum of the air conditioner and each other's breathing. because they're "bros".

ren/cleo: they practice "on and off platonic smooching". whatever that even means. physically affectionate to the point of being disgusting. they can stop and start back again at any time but somehow it's healthy. despite all the intense pda and cuddling and shit, no one emerges emotionally devastated. their dms are just spamming heart emojis.

ren/false: he's been lowkey crushing on her for so long he's genuinely forgotten about it. from her point of view, he's been acting this way around her since forever so she's also forgotten about it. they exist in this miraculous and meticulous limbo in which no one crosses a line because they don't think about it. they have the keys to each other's bases and water each other's flowers. one day they wake up and make each other breakfast and look out at their beautiful mess of a shared garden because it's their sixtieth day of accidental cohabitation and go "how did we get here again".

ren/iskall: i know it's long gone and the magic's not here no more and we can't go back to who we were. maybe i'll joke about "wrong person, right time" but that feels like stabbing myself in the chest with a dull knife. i look at you and from the bottom of my heart, i feel love. regardless of what kind of love it is. when i see you smile, i can still feel it against my lips. so maybe we still wear each other's clothes. so maybe you still drink from that ugly mug i got as a gag anniversary gift. so maybe you still consider sending me a love letter as a joke. best friends to lovers to neighbours. jokes and casual flirtation and even more casual declarations of love. i love you and you love me but we both know it's not the same anymore. still, it was good. for a while, we were good.

[weebsinstash]

People keep asking me if I have any 'yandere Alastor vs. yandere Lucifer fighting over Reader' ideas, and I gotta say one of my favorite ones is uh

Ok so I just am trying to kick myself in the ass to write this in of itself, but, I really like the idea of Alastor just straight up tricking you into giving him your soul. "Oh what if Reader takes a deal from him" no what if he makes a deal for your soul and you don't even fucking realize what you're doing and it's completely unintentional. I'm talking, my specific idea, is that after a prolonged series of events where you both gain and then lose Alastor's respect, he then approaches you when you're just like DRUNK DRUNK and, you're being all social and slurring and honestly he's embarrassed for you but at least you're talking to him, and, he sets his trap: making it seem like just an innocent little game, Alastor suggests you two have some kind of drinking game, and the winner can take ANY ONE THING from the other, and he's even all "oh, you don't even have to bother yourself with thinking about it! I could simply JUST TAKE IT and not even inform you, so then you wouldn't even have to worry yourself about whatever it is I decided to... acquire for myself :)"

And here's your drunken delusionally confident ass, thinking YOU'RE gonna pull one over on HIM, YOU trick ALASTOR "oh haha there's definitely nothing I have he wants lol, what would he do, take my cellphone or some of my shitty clothes or collectibles, lmao, I'm gonna win and I'm gonna ask him for some sort of special power or cool thing or gossip, this is low stakes high reward for sure"

Cue you like IMMEDIATELY losing his challenge, and even then, you're all smiles and laughs, "aww, I thought I had you there! So what are you taking?" And he just "Ohhhh, nothing :) actually I... even already took it from you!" And he starts LAUGHING laughing and you're just like "oh, you bastard, you got me! >u< more drinks, yay!"

I like the idea that Reader wakes up the next morning STILL in compete ignorance but uh, eventually you find out exactly how terrifying having someone else own your soul is when Alastor gives you some sort of command of something you REALLY do not want to do and you can't even control your own body to stop yourself from doing it anyways. Just the... violations of privacy, the loss of autonomy. He can force every thought and secret out of your mouth, your head, and move your body to the best of its abilities, and also just, PLUCK you to his location at will

So. Lucifer finds you just absolutely BROKEN in bed, like emotionally devastated, you are as close to suicidal as you can be for someone who cannot die, and, maybe you've even self-harmed. And after some gentle prodding from the Devil, you reveal what Alastor did, but, even more than that, how it made you FEEL. Alastor had approached you as some kind of friend, then started to want to exert some kind of ... control over you, commenting on your lifestyle choices, wanting you to do things with him in HIS way, and then when you resisted, he acted like you were a disappointment, even stopped spending time with you, and THEN, after you thought he was done with you, TRICKS YOU into giving him YOUR SOUL. It's just completely destroyed your psyche. It's reinforced horrible things you've thought about yourself your entire life. It made you feel alone, and now, you don't even have your soul anymore

So naturally Lucifer is like, "That's horrible! I'm so sorry he hurt you like that, I won't let him do this!" AND JUST FUCKING UNDOES IT. Contract WHAT? Radio Demon WHO? this is HELL and Lucifer is, you know, THE DEVIL FROM UH, THE BIBLE, and he's just snapping his fingers and you FEEL your soul come back to you and now you're breaking down crying for entirely different reasons while Lucifer holds you

MEANWHILE ALASTOR, who is fucking off elsewhere, may or may not be lovingly gazing at whatever form your soul is taking within his grasp, HAS IT RIPPED AWAY FROM HIM AND STARTS LOSING HIS MIND. Some "Wait, what just happened? Ffffuck." shit for real, he's, abruptly jerking out of his chair so hard it's sliding across the floor and he's racing back to the Hotel. Charlie stands up for him and shouts down her father that he has no right to ask the Radio Demon to leave, but, Charlie "attempts" to give Alastor "a stern talking to" about how "friends don't take other friend's souls, taking other people's souls is not how we get into Heaven" which, of course, falls on deaf ears, but Charlie isn't the Morningstar Alastor is wanting to concern himself with

And of course, there's Lucifer, making sure he's standing close to you, maybe even between you and Alastor, standing in front of you protectively, MAYBE EVEN HOLDING YOUR HAND TO COMFORT YOU. Alastor just immediately putting two and two together what happened and all but grinding his teeth into dust. Not only has Lucifer interfered and taken something IRREPLACEABLE from him(which was something he took from YOU lol), but, Lucifer has driven a wedge between you ans the Radio Demon. Alastor is watching you regard him with nothing but anger and sadness and fear while clinging to the tiny fallen angel and just, ohhhh, if looks could kill, the staredown these two are having with each other over you...

You've got one yandere who had your soul within his hands and had it taken back before he even got to enjoy having it, didn't get to DO anything with it, and another yandere who, quite understandably, feels that it isn't safe to let you leave from under his protective wing, and BOTH of them are convinced you have to be protected from the other while ALSO being super powerful

You know, the perfect combination of dangerous abilities and dangerous minds :) obviously our favorite Appletini is the more powerful one, but I think our Bambi could give him a good run for his money through sheer trickery alone. If you thought it was annoying getting pulled into antagonistic musicals BEFORE--

[rebelfell]

I love your writing so much it's giving me so much joy. I was close to dropping out of the Eddie fandom because I couldn't enjoy the current trends of writing him but you write him so well I'm falling in love again. Do you have any writers on here that inspire you or that you would recommend to follow if that's ok.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Oh. Oh, anon. The way I wish I could print this out and hang it above my mantle. And I don’t even have a mantle. Thank you so much, truly.

I think I would have to tag every single writer in this fandom to accurately portray who inspires me. There is such a wealth of work about him, there’s something for everyone out there.

Whatever version of Eddie you want to read, he exists, and it’s not a matter of anyone’s version being better/worse, but what speaks to you.

I am gonna list some of my favorites, because I deeply want to give people their flowers, but my brain is also mashed potatoes and I hate for anyone to feel overlooked/left out.

So this is BY NO MEANS a complete list.

My sideblog @madeofmunson has pretty much everything I’ve read and my blathering recs. I’m gonna link this post I made last year, in which I babbled about some of the stories that really impacted me as I entered the Eddie fandom.

A number of them are what I would consider to be modern classics in the fandom, so I doubt you’ve missed them, but just in case 😘

And the rest are going under a cut because I am a loquacious so and so (if you couldn’t already tell)

@aphrogeneias writes such a fun, silly, goofy Eddie, but WATCH OUT because he’ll hit you with the feels out of nowhere. rockstar!eddie and his assistant make my knees weak on the regular.

@bettyfrommars has it out for me, specifically. They ruin me over and over and KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT (partly because I keep going back but that’s neither here nor there)

@br0ck-eddie is the undisputed reigning champ of soft, sweet eddie. They put out all of these little vignettes that make me feel so warm and gooey inside like I’m literally butter in the microwave.

@jo-harrington’s mind is WILD. I don’t even know how they come up with some of their concepts and I can only imagine what it’s like to create whole universes in your head from nothing.

@lesservillain fucks my brain up every time they post. I learned a whole lotta stuff I never knew about myself from their omegaverse fics 😳 Namely what the omegaverse was…

Read Red String and thank me later.

@littlexdeaths I want to put in my pocket and carry around with me all the time. They will start with just a little blurb and the next thing you know you’re swept away in the current of a whole saga and desperate to find out what happens next.

@lonelysatellites is a devastatingly good writer. I still think about Safe Hands and Bruises and how they altered my fucking brain chemistry. Actually, now that you mention it…I might need to go re-read them…again…

@mrsjellymunson is a radiant ball of light. They write stories that are just FUN and silly and sexy and they deserve only the best 💖

@somnambulic-thing is…an enigma. They have the capacity to write something so emotionally devastating I have to lie in bed and stare at the ceiling for 10 hours about it. Or they will write something that is so silly and lighthearted it makes your belly ache with joy and love.

And then go and write something that is BOTH.

@the-unforgivenn is literally the sweetest soul who ever lived, I think they were a piece of candy in a past life. They write a great Eddie and a great Corroded Coffin (specifically Gareth) became they really nail that band banter/dialogue.

@trashmouth-richie makes me horny and makes me laugh and makes me horny all over again. They write with a real razor sharp wit and confoundingly good smut 😵‍💫

@urhoneycombwitch is so creative, so skilled. They create the kinds of Eddie’s that burrow under your skin and make their home there. Roomate/neighbor!eddie have my heart.

@word-wytch just received a lot of the brunt of my flailing about one of their chapters, so if you haven’t read Don’t Stand So Close To Me - DO IT.

Seriously there are still so many more 😭 But I gotta stop or I’m never gonna actually post this. If you’re reading this and your name isn’t here, it so would be if I had infinite time ♥️ Yes, you.

I did not even touch on my Steve writers???????? (see @stuffedwithsteve for them)

[cactusspatz]

May recs

So May turned into my biennial swing through Naruto fandom (have I ever seen a single episode? nope), during which I managed to fall down the Madara/Tobirama rabbit hole - which is a very fun time if you enjoy extreme competency and enemies-to-lovers! Also I've got some Kakashi/Iruka fic, and a couple of Guardian fics for Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan. More recs at Pinboard as well!

NARUTO - FOUNDERS ERA

As Is the Sea Marvelous by blackkat

Tobirama is willing to give absolutely anything for Hashirama and his dream.

AKA the fic that started me down this rabbit hole. Blackkat is so dangerous with the gateway drug fics like that - this is a great canon AU aimed directly at my id where Tobirama surrenders to the Uchiha in hopes of stopping an escalation of the war after he wounds Izuna.

and all the fire's at your fingertips by pandaflower

Tobirama is elbow deep in a stealth mission in Wind Country when he runs into a shinobi squad toting a stolen Uchiha child. Tobirama disapproves.

Charming gen competence porn/kidfic adventure.

With Enemies Like These by sarkasticfics

After a serious and devastating attack, the Uchiha are in desperate need of a sealmaster. Unfortunately for them, the best candidate happens to be from the Senju clan. Fortunately for them, he doesn't seem all that inclined to act like an enemy. Which is lucky because, as it turns out, there are plenty of other adversaries making moves in Fire Country - both the clans will need to make new friends to survive. Madara would have been content if his new husband tolerated him and helped his clan stay safe. He doesn't quite know what to do with the fact that his husband doesn't stop there.

Jam-packed with competence and tropes, just the way I like it - and there's some incredibly lovely moments as they reconcile with their clans' bloody pasts.

Count Your Blessings by madmothmadame

The war is over. Tobirama ended it when he put his sword through Izuna's center mass. But where war had united the Senju behind their leader, peace threatened to tear them apart. And who better for the warmongers to look to as a leader than the greatest killer of Uchiha they had ever seen? There were only two problems with that plan. One, Tobirama would never, ever, betray his elder brother. Two, he may or may not have a surprisingly not dead Uchiha Izuna in a coma in his guest room, hiding the secret of resurrection that Tobirama needs with everything he is. Now if only he would wake.

Deliciously epic. The inciting incident is very hand-wavey (having been inspired by another fic), but the follow-through in worldbuilding around Konoha's founding, the metric truckload of feels, and the twisty political intrigue makes for a great read. Be warned, there's like 250K of hurt before it gets to any sort of comfort, so maybe save it for a long rainy day if you don't want to suffer (like me). Also, the ship is pretty background, so don't expect much romance - but the gen relationships are fantastic and crunchy.

NARUTO - CANON ERA

for the record by ohwickedsoul

Asuma looks from Anko, who is laser-focused in a way rarely seen outside missions, and Iruka’s bewildered face. “Holy shit,” he says. “You’ve seen Kakashi’s face.”

The ending is TRUE ROMANCE, OKAY. And hilarious!

It's Amazing Who You Stumble Into (along the road of life) by vulcanhighblood

Hatake Kakashi and Umino Iruka have been part of each other's lives for a long time. A lot longer than Iruka realizes, anyway. Kakashi recognizes this is something of a problem, but only once it's too late to do anything about it. OR How To Make Your Secret Identity Friend Your Real-Life Boyfriend: A Shinobi's Guide To How Not To Romance

In which they keep running into each other over the years, complicated by Kakashi being ANBU for the first half of it. I loved the varied assortment of meetings, and the way they kept trading off on helping each other (physically, medically, emotionally).

GUARDIAN

Breaking Point by musicalluna & nightwalker

Zhao Yunlan is having a really terrible week, and it just gets worse when he starts to think Shen Wei has gotten tired of his bullshit.

Fantastic post-canon piece where the boys really need to communicate, and the universe/work is not helping. Excellent characterization and some brutally good relationship fights - but they figure it out in the end.

However deep the Lake by elenothar

Zhao Yunlan finds out a lot earlier that the Envoy isn't as invulnerable as he seems.

Classic h/c story where they're taken captive together in Episode 4.

[winchesterwild78]

All patched up

I’ve got requests- ignore them if you want, but I had to try.

If you could I’d like (all plus sized/curvy reader):

Dean- best friends to lovers type situation, she gets hurt on a hunt, self conscious about letting him take care of her and patch her up. He’s there for her both to stitch her up and emotionally.

*This is for you 😁 I hope I bring your vision to life. Thank you for trusting me with a request!!*

Characters:Dean Winchester x Plus Size Reader

Warnings: Language, insecurities, mention of hunting, Fluff, SMUT, oral sex female receiving, protected sex.

A/N: This is the final request from my lovely and I’m so excited to write it. I wrote it fast so please forgive any mistakes. This does not follow The Supernatural story line.

All work is my own, don’t take it!!

Minors DNI 18+

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

“Shit!” You yelled in pain. You realized you had a deep gash on your side. The latest hunt with the oldest Winchester was a long one, and you were glad it was over. During the fight you were thrown through the wall and a piece of the splintered wood cut your side.

You knew you needed to get it stitched up but you didn’t want Dean to do it. You knew he could do it and he was good at stitches, but you didn’t want him to see your body.

You’d been hunting with the Winchesters for about two years now. Sam was great and like a brother to you. Dean, oh Dean was something more to you. Well, in your mind he was.

You’d been with them long enough to know Dean didn’t do relationships. He did one night stands with busty, skinny women. The complete opposite of you. You were busty, but you were curvy too. You carried more weight on your body, had a stomach and you knew he’d never see you as anything but a friend.

You tried to tie a bandage around you enough to keep the bleeding under control until you could get to Sammy. You and Dean made your way back to the hotel for the night. It was late so you two decided to just stay one more night.

Arriving at the hotel Dean told you he was going to take a shower and then head to the bar. You nodded. Your heart broke each time he went to a bar and picked up another woman. You didn’t have any claim to him, but you wanted to.

You sat on the bed and mindlessly clicked through the television. You heard the shower turn off and a few minutes later Dean walked out with just his jeans on. His hair was still damp from the shower and little drops of water ran down his chest. You bit your lip and clenched your thighs together.

“Showers ready for you sweetheart” Dean said. As you stood you got dizzy. You didn’t notice the blood on the back of your shirt. “Hey Y/N, you okay?” Dean questioned. “Yeah. Just got up too fast” you walked past him.

“Holy shit Y/N! You’re bleeding bad! Let me see” Dean shouted. “I’m fine Dean. It’s just a scratch. You go to the bar. I’ll be okay.” You tried to pull away.

“Y/N, sit down now!” Dean demanded. You looked at him and said “No, I’ll be okay. Please let it go.” Tears pricked your eyes. “Sweetheart, please let me look. I can’t let anything happen to you. You mean too much to me.” Dean said softly. “I can’t Dean. I can’t let you see my body. It’s terrible and just, well fat.” You cried.

“Oh sweetheart, your body is perfect. Please let me take care of you. I can’t lose you.” Dean said. “Dean it’s not perfect. Not for you at least.” You whispered “Y/N, please” he said cupping your face.

You relented and laid down. Dean lifted your shirt and saw the gash. When he removed the bandage you winced in pain. “Oh sweetheart, this is really bad. I need to clean it and stitch it up.” Dean said getting up to get the first aid kit. You laid on your side as Dean got to work.

Goosebumps erupted on your skin with every touch from Dean. He smirked when he saw it. Dean really cared about you he was just scared. He couldn’t stand losing you and he knew if the two of you got into a relationship and something happened to you, he would be devastated so he kept you at arms length.

Once he was done and he added the wrap he offered to help you stand. You stood up with his help. Facing him and looking into his green eyes sent heat through your body. You swallowed hard and said “thank you for patching me up. I appreciate it. I’ll be okay taking a shower if you want to head out.” You said trying to walk past him.

As you walked past he gently grabbed your arm and turned you towards him. The two of you stood there in silence looking at each other. Dean cupped your cheeks and you leaned into his touch. He moved towards you and you moved closer to him too. Your lips were inches apart and your breath was mingling with his. He closed the distance and his lips landed on yours.

The kiss was gentle at first then became more passionate. Dean’s hands went in your hair and pulled you closer. You moaned as you continued to kiss him. His hands roamed over your body and you froze.

Dean stopped kissing you and pulled back. “What’s wrong sweetheart” he asked. “You don’t want me Dean. I’m not like the women you sleep with. I’m not beautiful or skinny. I’m curvy and I’m rough around the edges.” You lowered your head. Dean lifted your chin “Y/N, you’re right. You aren’t like the women I pick up in bars. You’re so much more. You’re a badass hunter who can hold her own, an amazing woman who has a huge heart, a beautiful soul who puts family and friends first and you’ve got an amazing body. I love you, not just as a friend but I love you. Please let me show you just how amazing you are. I don’t want the women at the bar, I want you. I’ve always wanted you. I’ve just been scared. Scared of losing you and being here without you. I can’t imagine my life without you and if you’re willing to try I’d like to take our relationship to the next level.” Dean said.

You looked at Dean and smiled. You kissed him again and whispered “Show me Dean. Show me what you want.”

Dean gently laid you down on the bed and leaned over you kissing your lips. He worked his way down your jaw, to your neck and collar bone. Your breath hitched and your hands instinctively held on to his body. His calloused hands ran over your body. You leaned into his touch.

He helped you remove your clothes and you went to grab the sheet. Dean stopped you. “No, please let me look at your body. You blushed and fought every instinct to cover yourself. Dean smiled “sweetheart you are absolutely gorgeous. Look at your body. It’s a work of art.” You smiled. You knew he was being genuine. One thing you can honestly say about Dean Winchester is he never lies about how he feels. It might take him forever to admit it, but when he does it’s the truth.

“Dean, one of us is wearing too much clothes” you whispered. Dean smiled and said “yes ma’am” and started to remove his clothes. You’d seen Dean mostly naked before but never fully. When he removed his boxers you bit your lip.

You had imagined him before. All those late nights alone in your room, but nothing prepared you for the perfection that stood before you. You felt your body respond to him and slick pooled between your thighs. Dean climbed on the bed and leaned over your body kissing your lips. Your breath caught in your throat when you felt his hardness rest on your thigh.

“You ready sweetheart?” Dean asked. You nodded yes. His lips trailed down your body and his hands touched every inch. Dean Winchester was touching you, exploring you and wanted you! Your mind and heart raced. His fingers found your folds and he slid two thick fingers in and you gasped. He smirked and started pumping. You moaned and called his name.

His heart fluttered when you called his name. He had waited since the moment he laid eyes on you for you to moan his name. He was in love with you but was afraid to tell you. Dean had a reputation of going after “the hot chicks” he would meet them in bars and sleep with them then leave before morning. He chose these women because he knew he would never fall in love with them. You on the other hand, from the moment he met you he wanted you.

Dean continued to touch your body. With every moan and calling of his name he fell deeper. He loved how your body responded to him. He couldn’t wait to make you his forever. “Dean I’m close….oh god…..please don’t stop…..oh Dean” you grabbed his hair as he continued eating you like you were his last meal. “Dean!” You yelled as you came hard. You saw stars. Dean continued his assault on your pussy until your legs were shaking and you were squirming under him.

He leaned up smiling and you were flushed and breathing heavy. Dean leaned up and kissed you. You could taste your juices on his lips and it turned you on more.

Dean leaned back and grabbed a condom, ripping it open. He pumped his length a few times and slid the condom on. “You ready sweetheart. If you’re not we don’t have to go any further.” He softly said. “I’m ready Dean, more than ready.” You smiled.

He lined himself up and pushed in. As he entered you both gasped. He made eye contact with you and kissed you. “God you feel amazing Y/N. Better than I imagined.”

Dean took his time with you. Exploring every inch of you. Every thrust felt deeper and stretched you more than you imagined. You felt a second release coming quick and before you could say anything it hit. Your walls clenched around Dean. He stopped and dropped his head in the crook of your neck.

He growled “damn baby. You do that again and I’m going to cum right now.” Dean pulled out and the loss of fullness made you groan. He laid down “climb on top baby. I want to see you.” You positioned your legs on either side of him. You steadied your body with one hand on his chest and took his length in the other lining him back up to you. You pushed down taking all of him in at one time. You both moaned. Deans hands grabbed your hips and held you.

You arched your back showing off your torso and full breasts as they bounced up and down with each thrust. Dean looked up at you and bit his lip. His hands moved to your breasts. You grinded against his hips and he thrusted up. You moaned and so did he.

The sound of moans, kissing and flesh hitting flesh filled the room. This was better than you had imagined. Dean really wanted to and it showed. He wasn’t hurried and each touch was exploring. Memorizing your body.

He leaned up kissing your lips and thrusting up. You moaned loudly and sped up. He lifted his hips to help give you more leverage. You knew he was close. His eyes closed and he grunted, thrusting deeper.

“Oh fuck baby” he groaned. You felt him twitch and his legs fell. When he was ready you moved, laying beside him. Dean rolled over and kissed you gently. “I love you, Y/N”. “I love you too, Dean.”

Dean got up and went to the bathroom to clean himself up. When he came back he brought a warm washcloth and helped clean you. He tossed it to the side and climbed in bed with you. You laid on his chest and he tucked an arm under you. He pulled you close to him. “You’re mine now sweetheart. Now and forever.” He whispered. “You’re mine Dean, now and forever.” You replied.

The two of you drifted off to sleep in each other’s arms. Finally saying the words you both had kept inside. Finally able to see how Dean Winchester not only patched your external wounds but your internal ones too.

Tags: @nescaveckdaily @kr804573 @k-slla @jackles010378 @jawritter @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @roseblue373 @cheynovak @jassackles @chriszgirl92 @suckitands33 @arcannaa @n-o-p-e-never @ladysparkles78 @smoothdogsgirl @hobby27 @manicjk

[drdemonprince]

TV Glow was devastating. incredibly effective visually, thematically, and performance-wise. Schoenbrun has leveled up in a major way since World's Fair, which I felt like I was five years too old for, both in terms of references and from having seen too much weird shit in this life to be impressed by her version of what's "scary" online.

This movie was far more creatively ambitious and emotionally resonance -- it having a bigger budget certainly helped stretch its legs, and Schoenbrun used it to its fullest.

Justice Smith's acting made me want to cry. He shows a true reverence for the material that few cis actors would; far from viewing the character as a little exercise, he transforms into her discomfort and sadness. His little voice warbles and the way his face softens with hope at a few crucial moments made my heart break for him, knowing already that the dreams he'd barely let himself hold onto would never come true.

I can't believe an Emma Stone produced wide release movie is about transgender egg drama here in 2024. jarring for something that once felt so private and esoteric to be broadly relatable to audiences now. it's fitting, given the movie is about a mass-release TV show that a handful of tender freaks think must be about something so much more than this world would ever let it be. kind of a funny trick there.

is this a movie about depressed isolated queer people whose minds curdle around a random media property because loneliness makes the brain turn inward and eat itself? or is it the tragic tale of a woman who never realized her destiny and allowed the matrix to keep plugging her repeatedly back in?

you can read it both ways at once and it's best if you do. some equipped with fandom goggles with elect to see it only in the more fantastical light.

There are already dozens of people coming out as transgender for the first time in their lives in the Letterboxd reviews of this film, saying they recognize their repression in Owen, their egg at last busted open by this heartbreaking tale of a life unfulfillingly lived. I get it -- before I transitioned, the same thing happened to me with Casey Plett's incredible story collection, A Safe Girl to Love. There is something painfully enchanting about the forever-unrealized trans person whose suffering we imagine would be escapable if only they could admit who they are.

But what do you do when you have overcome your fear of being "crazy," left your old world behind, and passed through that veil to become the person you were always meant to be, only to find that you are still stoop-shouldered and awkward, still overlooked with your heart cut out of you, apologizing to others for your asthma in between your death rattles? What if you never get all the poison out? After you figure out you're a hero from another dimension, what will you do if you can never get back?

I find myself asking these things, as a person who used to fantasize that transitioning would solve all my problems. The imagined future transitioned me felt so distant that it was easy to push him off. And then after years passed, when I finally reached out to claim him, I discovered he was just as awkward, lonesome, insecure, and unhappy as I was, because he was just me. If i'd always been transgender, then I'd always been unhappy for deeply transgender reasons back then, too, and I'd already known a whole lot more about what it meant to be me than I'd thought that I had. Fantasies had been a seductive distraction from the world that was trying to kill me, and they suffocated me whether I denied them or if I believed in them.

This is a movie about fantasies, and the suburbs, and about being transgender. And it's bleak, but I think some who are on the cusp of making the same realizations as Owen can't fully know why yet. Life on the other side of knowing is more liveable, but I can't explain why. It didn't make things better. It wasn't the great escape I had hoped. But it did force me to confront who I was and how many monsters there always had been all around me. And that's better than living in a fantasy.

[soo-won]

Letting go - Chapter 259

One thing this chapter makes me think about a lot is, what does "letting go" really mean? Is it something to absolutely aim for? and where does Hak position himself in relation to it today?

Hak is worried above all about the dragons right now, but we know well that he's also making a reference to his experience with Soo-won here. After all, even if Zeno did talk about forgetting them, he never said anything about "letting go" specifically. To let go is however very much something he said word for word about Soo-won in the past (chapter 153). If it wasn't already obvious enough, Hak in his turn makes the parallel between what happened with Soo-won and what is happening now with Zeno.

The end of chapter 153 hinted that even if Hak hasn't reached the point where he can let go of Soo-won yet, this is something that will eventually happen down the road thanks to Yona. And how can we not wish it for him? He suffers from it, it makes him angry, depressed, frustrated, it makes him grieve. Hak has always struggled from Soo-won's betrayal, he first tried to repress the feelings, then started walking a long road of trying to reconnect with and make sense of them, the present and their past together. He was slowly healing, he started being content with having a role in the sky tribe as long as the Yona and the hhb were with him. It was all for the best, everyone was walking in the same direction.

And then chapter 243 happened.

To be honest, when I read chapter 259 I couldn't help but have mixed feelings about this. After all, chapter 243 happened just one year ago, and this chapter devastated me like no story had ever before. This past year I thought hard about chapter 243, I tried to make sense of it in multiple ways and get over the devastation it made me go through. I also needed time, a lot of discussions with friends and the distance to see that yes, it is a chapter where both Soo-won and Hak are at their worst emotionally, and they both give up (among many other things but this isn't a ch243 post) but it won't be the end, it's them both failing to get out of this maze. But I just couldn't accept it. I felt angry. That Hak simply accepted how Soo-won, in a way, pushes him away again and the fact Soo-won will die, be replaced, and there is no hope for him. That he didn't contradict Soo-won saying the country will be fine without him, that this is their goodbye and it's over for them. That Hak will forget what they shared in chapter 61. That Hak is letting go and moving on.

So technically speaking I should be more than happy with chapter 259 and Hak saying he sucks at forgetting and letting go! But well, I got fond of chapter 243 with time. I spent so much time thinking and discussing about it, to engage with it, to question every line and to give them a meaning that slowly started to make more and more sense to me. It became precious to me. Yes I'm this dramatic over a single manga chapter but you have to understand the degree of emotional turmoil it made me go through, it was that bad! Anyway,

So when I read chapter 259, while I feel validated and relieved, I can't also can't help but think "But then, what was chapter 243 for?" What did it change in Soo-won and Hak's relationship? Does it not matter at all anymore because anyway Hak said sike and he actually just can't forget and let go? I can't accept this either. And I don't think that's the case.

And in a way, Hak did let go. But forgetting his dream of walking side by side with Soowon as his equal, on the same path, is different than forgetting Soowon whatsoever. Hak decides he won't remember it anymore and takes a different path. But what does it entail? What does he keep and embrace and what did he let go?

The vow of 10 years that tied Soo-won to the people following him, and the vow of 10 years that tied Hak to him. The formers cling to it, not taking into consideration Soo-won's true self and his ability to change. It chains him. It forces him to act not as his real self, but as the ideal image they project on him. They don't respect what the real Soowon wants, they try to make him the Soo-won that /they/ want. Soo-won changed from 10 years ago and corresponds to neither their ideal, neither Hak's. That's why it was so violent for Hak in 243. Hak couldn't see Soo-won's own circumstances, experience and current struggles and even less accept them. But in chapter 251, Hak doesn't let this vow chain them anymore, and in a way, that helped him gain confidence in the entirety of their history together instead of clinging into one aspect of it, no matter how precious it is to him. So I believe Hak needed chapter 243 to realize he was again projecting on Soo-won, and he needed to part ways to put things into perspective right now with the Zeno plot, so for that it's a good thing.

Still, when I put chapter 243 and 259 together, when Hak said he would forget his past vow to Soo-won and that there was no need to remember it anymore, I still think it was also him giving up, not having the strength to fight back because yeah, what can Hak or Soo-won even do about the Crimson Illness? Soo-won himself is convinced he will die, that he will be replaced and things will be perfectly fine without him, and so that he has to let go of Yona and Hak because what they want is the dragons, not him. He's not completely wrong, but this is not taking into account that both of them still care for Soo-won and want him to be there. That it's not about being replaceable or not, that they can care for the dragons and still want Soo-won to live for no other reason than because he is Soo-won. This is something Hak and Soo-won have both been struggling with since they said goodbye, and they are still coming to term in their own pace that they actually don't want things to end there.

Hak let go of his vow of walking by his side as his equal, but he still cares, he still can't forget, and he needed Yona to put it simply into words for him. It's okay to still feel conflicted, to carry contradictory feelings. What is undoubtely there is he wants him to live and to be there. That even apart, even when his priority is saving his friends and protecting Yona, Soo-won is still a part of him and he can't just erase him from his life. And it's fine. I don't think he should have to if ultimately putting things with Soo-won behind him, letting him go, hurts him so much. He deals with things differently than Yona and he doesn't have to do the same as her if that's not what is good to him. Yona shows that even after letting go of the hairpin, it still doesn't mean she can't think of Soo-won and wish for him to live. Letting go isn't erasing someone's existence from your life, it can just be taking a different path without tearing the bond apart.

But what this all makes me think about is, maybe letting go, in the sense of completely putting things behind them, is precisely the problem with Soo-won and Zeno. They're too good at it. We know they struggle to do it completely and honestly, but they are much better at killing their feelings than Hak, and they're able to at least act and pretend as if they were really letting go. What is so similar between Soo-won and Zeno besides betraying Yona and Hak to accomplish their respective goal and their tendency to hide their most unpleasant feelings, is that they are driven by the conviction that they have no other choice. Why does Soo-won discard people, his soldiers, prisoners, his friends? Because he doesn't believe in a path where he can keep them that wouldn't compromise the rest of the country. Before the coup, despite how much he longed for it, Soo-won couldn't believe a future with Yona and Hak by his side would ever be possible. So he gave up this dream, he acted with this fact in mind, he didn't try to pursue it. A self fulfilling prophecy. Chapter 243 was the same. And Zeno now is exactly the same as well. He doesn't believe in any other solution he could come up with together with Yona. He does what he does because if he doesn't, he is convinced he won't have another chance to be free and to end the cycle. Soo-won pretended the one they knew never existed, while Zeno pretends he already forgot them and that they should do the same.

They push them away, they tell themselves that Hak will protect Yona anyway and they will be fine without them. They let go, put an end to their bonds themselves in an (probably unconscious) attempt to have some agency on the end rather than to wait to be left behind.

But Yona's grip is strong, and despite everything Hak sucks at letting go. For their friends and for Soo-won and anyone on their path. And maybe it is important too to not let go. To be stubborn and selfish about it. To not leave anyone behind, to not avert your eyes from those in the shadows. Maybe "to let go" isn't something to wish for as an absolute solution to grief. Maybe letting go just brings more pain sometimes and is the killer of trying to fight for a better solution. Maybe there is worth in keeping what is precious to you close to your chest and fighting for it against all odds.

Honestly, as I write this I am not even sure of the answer. Zeno does deserve rest and to be allowed to go. And I can't tell if Hak will let go of Soo-won for good in the end. There is definitely a lot of good out of letting people and things go sometimes, even in Hak's case. It gives him the space to explore his feelings and come to term with them, and I don't expect him to live his life with anyone but the HHB. But all I feel is, surely, there is a better way to say goodbye. A way to say goodbye not out of resignation and despair. A way for them to listen to their hearts and be honest with their feelings. So I can only wait and keep faith for it, as I watch the characters slowly but surely try to change their fate and not submit to it.

[spenglernot]

STORIES TELLING: ED TEACH’S JOURNEY FROM ARMOR TO AUTHENTICITY

One of the joys of watching season 2 of Our Flag Means Death is discovering the visual parallels with season 1 that add so much meaning and richness to the story. With affecting, extraordinary economy of visual storytelling, we can see the progression of Ed’s journey from choosing armor in season 1, episode 10 – Wherever You Go, There You Are, to choosing authenticity in season 2, episode 7 – Man on Fire.

[I have to point out the gorgeous cinematography here. Panning down on the left, panning up on the right. The clear resolve of S2 E7 Ed turning to ascend to the deck. I also love the timing of both shots. S2 E7 Ed is turning toward the red silk that S1 E10 Ed will release.]

S1 E10 Ed considers the red silk. The symbol of his tenderness, softness, and vulnerability.

S2 E7 Ed hoists his leathers and his firearm - his literal and symbolic armor and protection - to the edge of the deck.

S1 E10 Ed releases his tenderness, softness, and vulnerability to the sea.

S2 E7 Ed releases his armor and protection to the sea.

S1 E10 Ed throws the person who understands what he’s going through and is in a position to help him work through it in a healthy way, into the sea.

S2 E7 Ed makes breakfast-in-bed for the person with whom he shares emotional and physical intimacy. An act of care and service that strengthens his bond with Stede.

Show, don't tell doesn't seem adequate to describe these two sequences. They are masterful and say so, so much.

The double-edged sword of self-awareness

You’ve really got to give it to Ed. He’s making huge progress. Making a better choice for himself. Moving forward.

Change can be terrifying. For Ed to release that which protected him for decades is, well… it’s courageous and demonstrates hard-won self-awareness and integrity.

Of course, choosing to be authentic to yourself doesn’t translate into automatic relationship building. Understanding and communicating with other people, particularly the person you are in love with, is a related but different skill set. It is also true that, once you know that you can’t perform a persona to please other people, no matter how much you love them, you risk losing them.

Ed in the second frame, above, kills me. He knows that piracy might be the wedge that drives Stede and him apart. He is trying to share how he feels. But Stede is so enamored with finally being a successful pirate (and glowing from the best (and only) love-sex of his life) that he can't hear Ed.

I love that OFMD takes no shortcuts in matters of the heart. If these lads are going to be together for reals, they are going to have to work for it, and there is still much work to be done.

I'm looking forward to likely being simultaneously emotionally fulfilled and mentally devastated by the season 2 finale in about 30 hours.

This meta was written before OFMD season 2 has fully aired. No idea what’s going to happen in the finale (and I’ve generally fled social media to avoid spoilers). I’ll be back, looking at everyone’s fascinating posts after episode 8 airs.

[lavandulawrites]

Hiii! Can I get E, H, T, and W for Poe? Thank youuu 💕

Yandere Alphabet E, H, T and W with Poe

Poe really does something to me<3 (Yandere alphabet request here)

Masterlist

Warnings: Sedation

Word count: 561

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

It takes time before Poe musters up courage to tell you how much he loves you. He is quite self aware so he knows very well that his emotions towards you are unhealthy, but he doesn’t really care. Love is the greatest gift of them all. After a while when you both have gotten to know each other’s better, he takes your hands in his slender ones and proclaims his ever dying love. It is in fact quite romantic, (the man has always had an amazing way with his words) but his lovesick expression pulling you back to earth. It doesn’t take long for him to abduct you after his confession. He is quite vulnerable believing it is important to not hide one’s feelings in a relationship. He of course doesn’t tell you anything you could use against him, he is no near stupid after all.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Your worst experience with Poe is the day when he kidnapped you. He had invited you out to an outdoor café in a lovely park. He had reserved a remote table which were decorated with beautiful flowers. With a gentle smile he had handed you his latest novel which he said was a love story. You had taken the book with a blushing smile and opened the book. A warm yellow light had enveloped you and sucked you inside a fairy tail. When you opened your eyes you were meet with a bedroom who rivalled those of royalty. He had kept you inside the romance novel for two weeks, letting you out when he deemed you ready. Much to your disliking you were over the moon when seeing him. The two weeks of isolation had really done a number on you.

Tears: How would they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry and/or isolate themselves?

He would be utterly devastated. He only wanted to protect you. Why couldn’t you see that? He would try his best to comfort you. He would bring Karl into your bedroom in hope of calming you down. He would write you beautiful love poems and buy you the most lavish gifts you could imagine. If you isolated yourself, he would give you some space not wanting to upsetting you any further. He always did manage to calm you down in the end.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Poe would never hurt you physically. He might however emotionally manipulate you. He did after all isolate you for two weeks when he first kidnapped you and he wouldn’t shy away from repeating that if it came down to it. Your comfort was important to him, but he would never allow you to leave him. The one time where you did manage to slip past his condiment and out to his grand garden, he had injected you with a sedative the moment you tried to open the locked gates. He had predicted you would try to escape that night, but he would give you a chance to prove him wrong. He was beyond disappointed with your actions and rendered you nearly immobile with sedatives. Next time he would listen to his deduction skills instead of his emotions.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not wanting to fix my relationship with an ex-friend in a toxic relationship?

CW domestic violence

I have a group of friends I met in college, but we remained friends after graduation. Let's call them Dora (26F), Megan (25F), Gabriel (25M), George (29M), Lauren (27F) and me (26F). Just for context, Megan and Gabriel are married, Dora is married with Phillip (30M) and Lauren just divorced from Jake (25M). I know, a lot of names, but all of this is important.

In the beginning of 2023, Lauren's husband Jake hit her and she went to the police. He was arrested for a short time and after that Lauren put a restraining order against him and filed for divorce. We were by her side during the whole thing and it was a very emotional time for all of us, especially for Megan, who suffered domestic violence from the boyfriend she had before Gabriel. It's important to note Megan is my best friend in the group.

Everything turned out okay for Lauren, but shortly after that Dora confessed to us her husband Phillip also hit her. That was a surprise for us because, to be honest, Dora looked way more toxic than Phillip at first sight; she was always making fun of him and she even hit him in front of us once or twice. Gabriel and I confronted them about it but Phillip said he didn't mind, because she is small so it didn't really hurt.

Anyway, Dora told us he hit her and there were, indeed, bruises on her ribs, legs and arms. She took a beating. She was too scared to go to the police, but we promised we would find a way to help her.

After that, our group, but especially Megan, Gabriel and I spent months doing everything we could to help Dora. Megan went to the police by herself to ask for advice and she also talked to Dora's mom asking for help. I talked to social workers looking for resources to help her. Gabriel pretended to be Phillip's friend to keep an eye on him and ensure Dora's safety. Dora herself seemed to change her mind everytime. She would ask for help and then tell us to mind our own business the next day. She even filed a police report against Phillip with Megan and Gabriel's help, but she cancelled it. Needless to say, it was emotionally draining for all of us, but since we were successful in helping Lauren when she went through the same, we thought we would be able to help Dora too.

We weren't. She kicked Phillip out for a month, but they kept talking in secret everyday and, in the New Year's Eve, while Megan and I were cooking for the party our group always does every year since 2018, she sent Megan a text saying she wouldn't come to the party and, in fact, she would no longer talk to us because she made up with Phillip and she knew we didn't approve that, so we couldn't be friends anymore.

We were devastated. We could barely enjoy our party because we worked so hard to help our friend and she threw that in the trash. All those months tolerating that man - which was triggering to both Megan and I since he reminded her of her aggressor and me of my abuser -, all the effort, all the stress and fear for nothing. To be discarded with a text on our special day.

I was too hurt and blocked Dora on everything. Gabriel blocked her on Instagram. During these last months, we talked a lot about the whole situation and we came to the conclusion that Dora was a very toxic person herself. We remembered several times she was offensive and aggressive with us, and her sister Barbara (18F), who lives with her, told us that she threw plates and books at Phillip while they fought, and their arguments were always the two of them beating each other up. In the end, we came to the conclusion Dora stayed in that relationship because she knew no one else would want to deal with her own aggressiveness. There was nothing else we could do for her and we decided to leave it at that.

Then, two days ago, Gabriel received a text from Dora on his Whatsapp. It was basically her complaining he blocked her on Instagram, saying she liked him so much and he was such a good friend for her and she wanted to know why he blocked her. He simply blocked her on Whatsapp too instead of answering her. Then she texted Lauren asking why she blocked her on Insta (which was super weird since Lauren didn't block her at all). Lauren also didn't answer her. Then she started to follow George on Instagram and he saw she posted a story written: "Love your friends for who they are and not for who you want them to be."

We all met yesterday to talk about the situation. We deduced she had a fight with Phillip and must be feeling lonely since we were her only friends, so she's getting desperate. But we are also so tired of all the drama this situation brought and none of us want be her friend anymore. So we all decided to block her (I mean, they decided to block, I have done that already) and call it a day.

Maybe she needs help, but after the way she treated us, she will need to look for it somewhere else.

AITA for that?

[vizthedatum]

reflections on my polyamory

I feel so much lighter about my polyamory practice after so much reflection this year.

I didn't date that much this year - my only major relationship was with my ex-girlfriend (who is one of my best friends, and I love her so dearly. I am so thankful for her to be in my life).

I went on a couple of sporadic dates, made some really awesome friends, blocked some people who weren't good for me, was broken up after three dates with someone over the summer, and generally AGONIZED about finding someone. (I also agonized over not being able to get over someone from the past and was angry at my ex-spouse. (I think the anger has been good for me!)))

It's not that I'm not lonely anymore - I am. But I'm releasing (slowly) that pull to be with someone just for the sake of thinking that's where I should be right now.

I value connection and natural alignment more than brute-forcing myself into some sort of relationship. I want it all to happen way more naturally, and I no longer want to be afraid of how I feel. I want to tell people how I feel and see if we can work out something. I want to ask, "Hey, do you want to do something with me? A partnership? Being lovers? Friends? Something else we can both define? Or should we part ways because you don't feel the same way or don't want to make a commitment?"

I want to tell people I love them without fear, and I'm getting SO MUCH better at that.

--

I started dating someone new recently (only one date, a second date planned, and already a bunch of good conversations).

And... I realized:

I like this person very initially, but I don't want to force myself or them to fit into a relationship mold of any kind. It may not work out. It may be an amazing friendship. It could be something else! It's nice to not know... and just communicate enthusiastically.

It's not that I don't want definition in my relationships - I do. With time. With the evolving communication.

I feel secure with our conversation and admire their maturity - I already don't feel like I need to second-guess myself when I tell them stuff (and I hope that continues!)

I think I have fundamentally changed how I behave, to be honest - I ask for a lot of clarity, and I will continue to do so.

--

I feel more at peace with just enjoying and loving people as long as they're in my life. Yes, breaks or deviations from my expectations will still emotionally affect me, but they will not completely devastate me to the point of non-functioning. I don't think I could have said that before.

Even with my last friend-breakup, yes, I was so so hurt. I did say I was "devastated," but I wasn't non-functional. I wasn't ruminating constantly over it. And I understood that I didn't have or want control over how that ended up evolving. I have way too much respect for him, and I have way too much respect for myself.

My polyamory, as I've been saying really confidently all year, includes friendships (I think it always has... and when I've brought this up to people in the past, some people were like "well, I don't consent to being part of your polycule" and to that, I say: You don't have to be part of a polycule if you don't want to be - it's about your impact on me, our chosen responsibilities to each other, and our connection (in the group of connections of whoever we choose to interact with)... it's just how I define my love, energy, and commitment).

Defining my energy and commitment... helps me not burn out. I LOVE BEING IN CONNECTION WITH PEOPLE, but I cannot lose the connection with myself again.

And I also don't want to be connected with people who seek to control me in a relationship. I don't want there to be cheating within a relationship (and I think the "cheating" conversation should be had with people - it can include *personal* boundaries, but I do not think it should limit what people do, because if it does, then maybe the relationship should be scrutinized more - maybe it needs to be redefined.)

I still have feelings, obviously. I am my own person, and things affect me the way they affect me based on my unique life experience! If I have a partner I feel hurt by, I will tell them that, even if they didn't have that intention. If I think that someone is non-commital or isn't contributing to the relationship the way I need them to, I will talk to them about it (and we'll go from there).

My brand of polyamory isn't about shirking from responsibility. It's also about being true to myself. I don't want to hurt someone; if I am, I need to figure out how to repair that relationship with that person OR LEAVE. If someone repeatedly hurts me without any change, efforts to repair, or acknowledgment, then I need to leave.

And yeah... I think I still do want to nest with someone or someones from time to time. And I still want kids.

But I can have meaningful relationships (whether or not they include platonic, romantic, sexual, etc. elements), whether or not they include nesting or co-parenting, and I didn't think I could before.