#they are valid in every way possible
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IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder
╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher
#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies#(more thoughts at the end of the tags)#shameless#shamelessnet#shamelessedit#ian gallagher#cameron monaghan#*macygifs#bipolar disorder#hello pals how are we doin#i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags#and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes)#i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation#that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day#world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder#which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life#while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life#and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines#over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful#i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended#hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles#world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder#and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized)#it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all#it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen#so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can.#we are worth it#i promise#anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder#go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives
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In baseball, the "Shot Heard 'Round the World" was a walk-off home run hit by New York Giants outfielder and third baseman Bobby Thomson off Brooklyn Dodgers pitcher Ralph Branca at the Polo Grounds in New York City on October 3, 1951, to win the National League pennant. The game was seen by millions of viewers across America and heard on radio by millions more, including thousands of American servicemen stationed in Korea, listening on Armed Forces Radio. The dramatic victory to secure a pennant was intensified by the cross-town rivalry between the Giants and Dodgers and by a remarkable string of victories in the last weeks of the regular season by the Giants, who won 37 of their last 44 games to catch the first-place Dodgers and force a playoff series to decide the National League champion. (x)
m*a*s*h s09e06 a war for all seasons
#mash#m*a*s*h#mashedit#charles emerson winchester iii#father mulcahy#baseball#mine#m:mash#///#GREAT episode. i can't believe i got a baseball episode from m*a*s*h i am verklempt about it#had to make this because every reaction here is so valid and real. happy postseason season btw#now i need to say two very important things:#1) never bet on baseball. literally anything can happen at any time. baseball - despite being so into tracking every possible little stat -#defies statistical probability. it laughs in its face. betting has crept into baseball (and most sports!) in its evil slithering way lately#and i'm tired of it. get it outta here#2) HAWK KNOWS BALL OKAY i'm tired of seeing hawk portrayed as being a sportsball guy. not MY blorbo#also am i feeling soooo validated about my baseball au? yes. yes i am#also wow david fry literally just this instant hit a walk-off homer for the guardians. go guardians go mets
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me feeling depressed 🤝 four random guys with a youtube reaction channel watching and hyping up the umbrella academy
#and yknow what thank you to the one guy who’s hyping five up at every opportunity possible#‘‘he’s kinda older so he’s got some attitude’’ ‘‘his power is the coolest’’ ‘‘that fight scene was peak’’#yes. pleasd keep going. i’m living for this.#nothing like watching other people get excited about things that make you excited#i don’t even care if they’re exaggerating their reactions for the video tbh#like yes get excited and yell and laugh too loud at the dumb jokes and drop your jaw when something crazy happens#a big dumb smile is plastered across my face from beginning to end#trust 🙏#god is an underrated reaction youtuber with almost no views#thank hou to those random four men who are validating my hyperfixation in every way possible#laur rambles#the umbrella academy#tua#umbrella academy#hargreeves siblings#tua s4#tua season 4#five hargreeves#number five#klaus hargreeves#allison hargreeves#luther hargreeves#diego hargreeves#ben hargreeves#viktor hargreeves#tua netflix#youtube
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reminder that the vast majority of systems stay covert until adulthood and anyone who goes around claiming you're "too old" to be discovering yourself as a system is fucking lying to you
#🥩.crimson#verified by literally every medical professional we know#YES the disorder DEVELOPS because of extreme trauma in early childhood#it is is NEVER diagnosed under 10#rarely under 18#and even then as an adult it is an extremely difficult diagnosis to get because the medical world is very harsh about it#IF YOU'RE 22 OR 36 OR 78 AND DISCOVERING YOUR SYSTEM THAT IS VALID#the disorder is SUPPOSED to stay covert for as long as possible because it's not SAFE for you to know about it#ask any system dude#life was confusing but WAY less complicated before we discovered all of this#anyway
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Bad time of it, all things considered (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#ZEX#Blood#Just a bit but y'know - Enough#It honestly made me So sad that it took until his canonmates saw it happen that someone /finally/ acknowledged his spontaneous cuts D:#Like I get it it's dark and it's hard to see but his skin just opened up and he made a noise about it! The possible danger!!#And then by that point he's just so used to everyone ignoring it that their concern for him is barely even a factor weh ZEX ;;#Plus it's just a cool effect haha - sudden blood from nothing! Very rich mental movement#At least Max had someone concerned for him about it <3 Not that he could do anything about it but even just the validation of seeing it!#He has enough cuts on him :( Poor tenderized flesh#He gets all crabby from being sore from healing constantly haha :'D Of course he would!#One thing I found very interesting was the scar sidedness :0 Most of the examples in the gallery have his scar and missing eye opposite#But that's not necessarily the case! I actually scoured mid-read and there /are/ a couple instances of matching side!#They're very tiny so I overlooked them upon first viewing hehe ♪ But they're there! It's very interesting to me!#I like the aesthetics of the opposite - probably because I'm more used to it lol - but I can see the appeal and reasoning for the other way#I do honestly enjoy how much is open to interpretation and allowance uwu♪ And what's consistent! Like how it's always his right eye :D#That tracks hehe ♫#Haha his meeting with his delightfully inept counselor - I'm pretty sure I was actually more angry about his supposed injury than he was#He chilled out pretty quickly while I was just - A Scratched Cornea??? The disrespect!!#So happy with his eyebrow expression on that one as well ah <3#It really does make me curious for how the staff is kept there - they don't /seem/ malicious during the day! But they're also unaware#It's interesting where the lines of reality are between everyone :D Very interesting ♪#Capping off with another song my playlist is looking quite healthy now hehe#Flagpole Sitta is one of those songs that only comes up for me every half dozen years or so but when it Does - phewph#It is /such/ a ZEX song to me now hehe <3 The flirtiness and exasperation - the defeatism even! So many killer lines#I think my favourite is ''I'm not sick but I'm not well'' ask me to read into that I will I'm gonna I'll do it even if you don't ask me lol#So fun to draw those lapses in control the poor dear ♥#The digital reconstruction there was a lot of fun as well actually :D I think I nailed it :3 Pulled around from all over the page! Pleased ♪
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At this point Good Omens feels like a huge Pride and Prejudice AU, and season two was exactly the end of P&P act 2, when Lizzie rejects Mr Darcy's confession and first proposal (and don't we all love that scene now huh).
And I know S2's finale broke our hearts, mine hurts incredibly rn, but following this narrative structure, can we talk about P&P's GLORIOUS act three and what this could mean for Good Omens S3 and of course for Aziraphale and Crowley's romance?
Y'all know we'll have our Pemberley, right? It's called South Downs cottage in Devil's Dyke.
(check my tags before yelling at me btw)
#i just feel i have to say bc this is the internet#that when i say GO can be seen as a P&P AU i say it in the most positive and affectionate way possible#it's a compliment. i am a HUGE fan of neil and his ideas#i'm only using the term AU here bc this is tumblr and internet and i wanna be funny#but in fact is just that the same narrative structure is being used#as well as some austenisms bc let's be real jane was the GOAT#using references and inspirations in literature is totally a valid tool and every writer does it#I'm just really happy that neil used jane austen for this since we've all been seeing the parallels since s1#if you read all this and thought wow this girl must be really traumatised by twitter#you are right#good omens 2#gos2 spoilers#good omens season 2 spoilers#pride and prejudice#neil gaiman#ineffable husbands
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raises my hand i actually like the concept of a shitty parent getting better i just hate when its used to be like "im good now so you should forgive me."
people grow and change and hurt people!!! and those hurt people deserve to move on without having to forgive their abuser!!!
#this is why i get defensive when ppl make all sorts of reasons why rhinedottir did what she did#if she killed dorian for being imperfect then whatever!! i hate her for that but you dont have to#not only does it go with her little mental break that she 100% had lets be honest#it also fits the “Perfectionist” thing that the sinners were trying so hard to achieve#it MAKES SENSE#even if its nuanced that doesnt make it ok!!! but at the same time i dont think shes 100% stuck to being a terrible person nor do i think++#shes always been a bad mother#i think she was a great mother before everything went downhill and honestly if she gained a sense of apathy towards her kids itd MAKE SENSE#ofc im not saying this is true. im just saying its possible and it doesnt take away from her as a character#elynas is just as reliable a source as albedo dare i say!!! he was not in a strange mindset bc he wasnt corrupt like durin#the way he described her was valid. so was albedos when he said she threatened to leave him.#if the trauma from the cataclysm is what caused everything#that makes sense#but its not an excuse and it doenst mean she had some extra hidden reason for what she did. sometimes people are bad people!!! clearly she+#did SOMETHING right with albedo because he has a sense of morality. but even so you can TELL shes not a good mom EVEN TO HIM#i dont know where im going with this im getting turned around UHM#TLDR; shes a terrible mother. and a pretty bad person. but that doesnt mean im saying shes evil without nuance#it just means what it sounds like#plenty of parents fucking SUCK without meaning to. whether she cared or not she was still a pretty bad mother. thats all im saying#im willing ot talk about her but im NOT willing to have people argue that any of her children deserved what they got.#not albedo and NOT dorian.#elynas to dorian to albedo is a great pipeline for her as a character. which is why i like to believe elynas came first;#alfisol and dorian came close to last#and then albedo came last long after the others#every character has nuance however i am allowed to dislike them despite that#tzu rambles#that said i understand how it comes off as biased when i only talk about her children but unfortunately her children are the only reason i+#know about her at all. thye are my favorites and my content centers around them </3
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"trans people are only trans because of oppressive gender roles and if we just got rid of the gender roles nobody would be trans" might sound like a hot take, a thoughtful and compassionate take, but unfortunately it is ice cold and does not understand how being trans works at all. meet and talk to and listen to more trans people - preferably in real life - before making assertions like this, especially if you yourself are not trans.
#if this was true then explain to me why my friend is still a man even though his parents tried to raise him with as few#imposed gender roles as possible#every type of woman under the sun was thrust his way with the insistence that his sex was not a limitation#and a girl can be anything she wants and do and study anything she wants#he saw and appreciated all of that and at the end of the day his kid self was still like#'thats nice and i hear you but i'm growing up into a man. you cant fool me'#this is not every trans experience but it is not an UNcommon trans experience. so this argument just doesnt hold water#also if 'giving into your dysphoria' would have made you want to die#and accepting a gender that's in line w your bio sex makes you feel better#congratulations. you are cis#and therefore you do not get to speak to the trans experience#YOUR experience is valid. projecting your experience onto the trans community is wrong#it reads to me the same as someone who thought they were ace until they realized they weren't#concluding that therefore nobody is really ace and all ace people just *think* they are#and their hidden allosexuality can be 'cured' or jumpstarted by whatever set of circumstances triggered *your* sexuality#(knew someone irl exactly like this and it was deeply frustrating)#or thinking that gay people just need to meet the right person to be in a str8 relationship with bc YOU found someone like that#like no sorry...you're just bi#i could go on#i'm frustrated. i understand where this take comes from but it's really misinformed. you need to listen to trans ppl. start there
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doing the equivalent of gripping something intensely hard then forcing myself to let it go every time i see something about the stupid fandom drama i got pulled into earlier this year
#nothing bad ppl just... bringing up its existence...AGAIN......#every time i see it i wanna go on a rant for a billion years but the worst place to do that would be on tumblr#I rly don't wanna see anyone talking abt it unless it's to criticize the ppl who started the false accusations or to apologize to us#for the harassment#Buster: You Really Think Someone Would Do That? Just Go On the Internet and Tell Lies?#anyway I cant believe ive had the misfortune of interacting w some1 who has to b vindictive toward others to quell their own insecurity#to accuse us of racism because he wasn't allowed to be in a personal friends discord group...#and then saying that we didn't wanna let him in bc he wasn't a 'popular' account? 1. he has way more followers than some ppl in the server#hence why he was able to get so many ppl to attack us#2. he can't keep his own story straight. First we're racist then we're ableist then we gatekeep popularity?#Dude... we don't like you because you're vindictive and take minor slights way too personally...hence...everything that fucking happened#anyway idk who reported him but i thank them for it and i hope that was worth their account getting suspended for getting paid to harass us#to anyone outside of all this reading this mess... please question the validity of ppls accounts if they don't offer concrete proof#and the only proof is based on assuming that certain actions COULD POSSIBLY line up to the accusations#this includes if multiple people have the same accusation without proof because that's EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED#except it was dumber because several of their accusations literally contradicted themselves#wowww people apologized and informed their audience about possible microagressions once they were informed. they MUST be racist!#and if you don't want to dig into it that deep..then by all means mind your own damn business before you join in on someone else's witchhun
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if i head the words "jesus" "sacrifice" and "himself" in a sentence again ill scream.
#sorry im back in my anti organized religion specifically white nationalist christianity arc#im always there ofc#but i remembered if any spiritual/religious label applies to me its satanist#with zen and jungian mystic elemts#i use zen as a catchall for the perceived commonalities btwn buddhism hindusm and taoism#but at the heart of it all#im frsure a satanist. not that i necessarily align with tst in every way but#call it my aquarian nature enhanced by my capricorn elements buuut#(my mecury and moon are cap)#(enhancing my aqua sun venus uranus neptune)#but the heart of satanism is the contrarian nature of it.#it is literally an idea that combats common christian interpretation of the bible and the institutions that follow it in the U.S#ultimately jesus didnt sacrifice himself and lucifer did not want to be controlled paternally. even yahweh is flawed. he is an archetype#personally i feel in the human consciousness yahweh/father god/jupiter ETCCCCC learned from that#and his golden child... he probably didnt want to lose another child. JS. probably less of a jesus died so we dont go to hell and more of a#father was sick of losing children#this has strayed from bible concretism bc i do not believe in that#i believe its possible anyone and everyone in the bible was a real person maybe#but ultimately all religious text are archetypal and metaphorical stories#like its sooo funny when ppl say the bible says something or the other and its super literal#like the point... woosh#anyway.#satanism is my jam cause its contrarian and at its core sympathizes with those cast out of privilege#plus the whole i desire an abortion for relgious reasons is not only hilarious trollwise but also like#some peoples bodies are their temples yk?#not me personally but like its valid and that pisses christians off so bad!#and i love pissing uppity nonspiritual christians off!!#i dont hate christians or members of organized religions i have a distaste for the institutions imposing its rules upon nonconsenting people
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#just starts crying out of nowhere#over nothing#i know why i feel like shit but it feels so disproportionate#i want to hide in my bed for like a week#not having to function#i'm so tired and stressed and just unhappy#with myself#i feel like a disappointment in every possible way#and like i don't deserve to be better#so i keep sabotaging myself and it's a vicious cycle#confirming that i can't do anything#idk just had to get this off my chest#sorry it's tmi#i hate to do this but i think i just need some. reassurance. validation. whatever#no pressure as always it would just mean a lot#because right now i feel completely worthless#marti vents#venting#delete later
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so. uhh. any rgg meetups at animenext this weekend or 🥴
#snap chats#GOOD MORNING IM CRYING#years ago i got tickets for animenext but due to covid the event was cancelled and i couldnt go#WELL I JUST. I JUST GOT LET KNOWN I HAVE TICKETS? FOR THREE DAYS AND ITS LEGIT?#LIKE I CHECKED EVERY WAY POSSIBLE AND YEAH NO. THESE ARE VALID TICKETS. WHATLKVJLEKJ#go to an event four damn years later OK..... idk if ill stay all three days since i dont have a hotel obvi but i could sleep in my car ig#i done did it before its fine ���#anyway idk who to cosplay or if i even will cosplay#on the one hand i could do y2 daigo again like i did for animenyc#doing masato however would mean i wouldnt have to do as much makeup...... he also does not have any cheekbones like me 😔#unlike daigo's gorjus face#my mine cosplay aint supposed to be ready til july so.... thats out of the window LMAO#eh. prob would be best to just do daigo actually now that im thinkin of it esp when no one even remembers masato ☠️#idk thats something for me to figure out im still just laughing at this whole thing like jvlkvlkj
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another story i’d like to see in the dark materials universe (aside from the person with the octopus daemon whos already stolen my heart) is a teenager with a same-sex daemon
#i dont thnk Everyone with a same-sex daemon would necessarily be trans#or that every trans person would start out with a same-sex daemon#i just think it's a real possibility that for lots of trans people in the hdm universe that was their experience#and i think it'd be like a fun thing to explore like what being trans is like in that universe#wanting to postpone your daemon settling bc it feels like a death sentence#that external part of all the inner stuff#i can imagine some kids would be like proud of it in a way they cant explain that their daemon is not the expected sex#it'd be validating in a way they cant explain#others i can imagine would be like. trying to force their daemon to change form#like this is not what youre supposed to be youre supposed to be different change#'you can change shape why cant you change sex too'
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every day of my life i wish i was cis mainly so i could've been repressed about being gay in a simpler way
#it feels stupid but i really do feel insecure so much of the time about not having been able#to be ''properly'' repressed about being gay in a cis way#like i literally WAS still ashamed of it for while and tried to deny it#but i don't feel like it's enough#but at the same time i don't think anything would've been *enough* other than like#making it to age 40 without accepting that i'm gay#lowkey wish that i could just re-repress it for the sake of having a satisfying re-coming out#but i'm too self aware for that to be possible#man is this relatable to anyone at all or am i just fucking insane#like i really feel so much of the time like my homosexuality is only valid via my time spent not being aware of it#like it's a rite of passage specifically to have felt obligated to like girls#WHICH I LITERALLY DID!!!!!#i just still cannot help but feel like it's not enough#i want to feel the satisfaction of learning who i am all over again#so badly#like i remember the specific catharsis of realizing that i was plain gay and i miss it every day#like i hate being aware of being gay#it deprives me of the ultimate catharsis of coming to terms with it in my middle age#but it's of course impossible to just stop being aware of it#and i truly do view it as the superior way to be#i'm just. yeah idk it's a lose lose#i was born to be some tumblrina's blorbo but i'm stuck in the body of a#modern 20something#personal
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nothing grinds my gears quite like a second “why haven’t you responded to me yet” message a mere 1-2 days after the original text
#personal#of course something like further elaboration or a change in subject would be valid#im saying literally like along the lines of ‘why haven’t you responded’#im not saying no situation ever demands it but that urgency every time we text is so exhausting#like give me a little bit of time. i say 3-5 days is more reasonable but i’m personally fine with full weeks in between#and i understand the logic of ‘oh they’re not responding to me -> possibly feel bad about it possibly neutral -> i’ll just give them a#reminder so they know no hard feelings’ i really do understand that#but the constant demand of respond to a thousand texts within a day#is personally too much and honestly just not something i’m interested in participating in#and i have said before ‘im not on my phone that much. that is simply how long it takes me to respond to messages. if it’s urgent either#call or say it is urgent that way i know’#AND importantly ‘i don’t go on my phone when i’m hanging out with people’ because that’s almost always what the situation is#and i try so hard to not be annoyed bc i know their intentions are not bad and they just want to talk to me#but idk how many time i have it in me to explain that to the same ppl over and over#and it would be less annoying if there wasn’t a habit of like forgetting this kind of thing about me. i don’t know a better way to say it#anyway. trying so hard to not make this is ‘this is what’s wrong with everyone today’ or ‘i’m so unique’ thing bc i realize how close this#annoyance can get to those places & they’re very much not the attitude i’m coming into this with#ok rant over :p
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idk if it’s adhd or some other brain thing or what the fuck it is but my mind literally feels like a prison and i do not know what else to do to break out <3
#like i swear to fuck i am losing all hope.#this shit is bad enough without feeling like i need to defend myself every time i step a foot into the hospital!#why won’t my doctors just believe me lol!#is it really so so hard to say ‘ok let’s pretend you’re right for a moment. let’s try this out’#why would you as a professional withdraw a tool from me that is known to help people in my place just because you don’t feel like it#at least give me a valid reason la concha de la lora.#i think if i don’t get derived next time i go to the psych im gonna be like. okay. i stopped clonazepam entirely already.#i halved my antidepressant because it was making me feel like way more shit. i am not anymore on ‘too many drugs’#and am perfectly willing to just drop the ssri in favor of a low dose stimulant#if that doesn’t work then. i just see no point in trying to get treatment within the public healthcare system#it’s just wasting both my mental and physical energy while i just keep getting worse#silver lining is my friend might be able to find me someone who can assess me (his mom is a psychopedagogist and has contacts)#so i’m just. crossing my fingers for that at this point#cause it does feel like the only possible way out
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