#they are as a class—the dumbest people on the planet

[mbrainspaz]

Me: —no my issue with the whole system is that I CAN'T PHYSICALLY WORK HARD ENOUGH OR LONG ENOUGH TO MAKE A LIVING

Rich Uncle: Well—

Me: Meanwhile Bezos is buying his seventh mansion!

Rich Uncle: HE EARNED THAT.

Me: Oh yeah?! What did he do to earn it?

Rich Uncle: He worked all his life!

Me: SO HAVE I! And I'm saying I can't even work hard enough to afford rent on a shack! So why can HE work hard enough to afford multiple mansions!? It's because he's exploited the labor of everyone working for him.

Rich Uncle: No no no no it's because he worked smarter.

Me: oooOOOoh, so intelligence is the key factor in being deserving of massive wealth. That explains why Elon Musk is one of the dumbest people on the planet.

Rich Uncle: He's... smart.

Me: pfffffffffffff hahahahaahaaaahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAA

Rich Uncle: He made good business decisions, anyway.

Me: So in order to make it I just have to do what Elon Musk did.

Rich Uncle: exactly.

Me: So first I've gotta figure out how to get adopted by a guy with an emerald mine.

Rich Uncle: Yep. *walks away*

[loser-of-the-idgaf-war]

School begins tomorrow and I'm already crying myself to sleep

[confused-wanderer]

The entire mansion has been baby proofed.

And it doesn’t matter how many times they’ve tried to take them off, or even ban them, somehow they just keep popping back up to everyone’s annoyance.

Jason blames it on Bruce, saying the old man’s going soft on them and basically babying them. It’s him hinting that he doesn’t think they’re capable enough to not bump into or break everything. He accuses Bruce of not trusting them. Dick doesn’t have an answer, but he’s just amused and doesn’t make a move to take them off, which leads the majority of the batfam to think it’s him.

The culprit? Damian.

Damian has seen his family exhausted from shifts. Not to mention the fact that somehow even though he knows they’re some of the smartest and most capable people on the planet he looks up to, they’re also simultaneously the dumbest people that make him suspect that perhaps they weren’t the same people who he’d seen dodging bullets while walking tightropes flawlessly.

And when you work the same hours they do, have the same risks they do, it’s inevitable for someone to simply collapse, because god forbid any single of them weren’t stubborn enough to realise when life -threatening injuries = bedrest and maybe, just maybe = a fucking break.

He’s watched Bruce stumble, head heavy with all the doses of medicines the man had to take before he tripped on air and fell halfway down the stairs. He’s seen Dick nod off in the living room, only for him to accidentally fall over and hit the sharp edge of the table. Stephanie was trying to take off her costume while running for classes, and so she slammed head first into the glass door.

For gods sake, Damian’s pissed Todd’s one to talk because the man was cooking in the kitchen while talking to Roy on the phone and while getting really into the story, he placed his hand on the still hot stove. And picked up the metal container he’d just heated to the point of boiling with his bare hands. The man didn’t realise it, still babbling on to Roy before he sets it down, glances at his hand and then stops when he sees them turning red. And only then, does he let out a quiet “oh…shit.”

Tim’s no better either, he gripped the wrong edge of a knife that he had just put down a second ago. And he wasn’t even doing anything else. Damian just watched in horror and disgust as Tim had just stared at his fingers holding the blade before going “… this is wrong isn’t it? Ow.”

Alfred had caught Damian lugging the questionably large amount of baby proofing material into the mansion the first time, but walked away before he noticed. And Cass helps re-baby proof everything when the batfam try to take them out because Alfred asks her to, and she loves doing it.

Is this him getting soft? Damian? A trained assassin who was taught emotions only served purpose when they fueled your ambitions?

No.

But he had another ambition for now. And so what if his heart flutters when he sees their house-related injuries drastically decrease? So what if there’s a giddy feeling in his chest that warms him to every corner of his soul when he watches them bump against the covered edges, and send a silent grateful look to the sticker?

He had an ambition. He was using these feelings that he’s never felt before, but make him feel so good to fuel himself. He’s doing what he was trained to do. He wasn’t going to let anything stop him.

[tamamita]

aren't most people voting for an easier enemy to deal with rather than the very deluded idea that voting will fix everything? I don't think I've seen a single person outside of a handful of the dumbest liberals on the planet think that. Like, real disruption for palestine likely will be more difficult with trump around compared to kamala.

It's been a century, and Liberals have used the same rhetoric for every single election cycle. The status quo won't change, it didn't stop previous genocides and western imperialist ventures in the past and they haven't, so far, stopped the genocide in Gaza or the occupation of Palestine. In fact, it's getting worse.

If Trump is "voted" out, who's gonna stop the next guy from advancing the same idea? You'll be fighting an endless fight, but you can't win forever. In Kamala's case, she's even appeasing the center-right, and much like Paul von Hindenburg, who appeased the far-right, we all know what that lead to.

Whether Trump is worse or not is not my point, but the vicious cycle and the fatalistic conception of bourgeois democracies and their eventual fall to fascism. The bourgeoise always feel threatened by the working class as they become increasingly disillusioned with the socio-political and socio-economic situation. Rather than understanding that it is the bourgeoise that benefits from the exploitation of the working class and the global south, the bourgeoise will often point to some supposed external and internal enemy as a scapegoat behind their socio-economic situation, distracting them from the actual enemies who exploit them. What you see now is exactly that. Look at France and the UK, neither countries managed to stop the genocide despite being more to the left than the DNC.

"Tankies" are just giving you a basic lesson in history saying that given historical circumstances for which liberal democracies fell to fascism, it's just a matter of fact that liberal democracies will feel so threatened by the working class to such a point that they'll start to take drastic measures to secure their interest. This isn't some kind fearmongering campaign, psyop shit or some kind of campaign to distract you from voting, it's just history repeating itself.

[inbarfink]

Okay, so, for the longest time the Tallests’ behavior toward Zim in ‘Battle of the Planets’ has always struck me as… odd.

 I mean, of course the idea that they mock him publicly behind his back makes sense in general. That is a very Tallests Thing to Do. But the specific ways they mock him…

I dunno...maybe the intention is supposed to be like 'haha you're saying 'unstoppable death machine like it's a good thing but it's not!!' or something but... with the delivery and the general characterization of the Irken army it comes off as more of 'haha! it's funny because he's NOT an unstoppable death machine hahaha" and...

Like, yes. Zim is correct. He is, in fact, an ‘unstoppable death machine’. That is absolutely an accurate statement to be taken seriously. The only problem was that he’s an unstoppable death machine that’s too uncontrollable to prevent him from Death Machining his own people as well. That’s literally why you banished him, remember?

But then I took a moment to think about that.... It does actually makes sense that the Tallests, despite getting literal first-class seats to his rampage of destruction - might still have a problem with actually internalizing why Zim is so Bad.

Because Zim is basically the Irkenest Irken to ever Irk. He might be considered ‘Defective’, yes, but all of his defects manifest as the logical extremes of Irken ideology. He has, on paper, all of the skills and personality traits and ideals that the Irken Empire value - just exaggerated and twisted in a way that makes him the biggest milestone around the Empire's neck.

Zim is a pretty good fighter, infiltrator, pilot and scientist. Remember, he’s a Fast-Food Drone Play-Acting Alien Invasion to get him out of the Armada’s antennas now, but he was a legitimate actual Invader back during ‘Impending Doom 1’. And that’s with all the social barriers and prejudice that a short Irken like him is going to face. I’m guessing a lot of the selection process for Invaders is done by automated systems or extremely-detached Control Brains. And only looking at, like, Zim’s practice or test results - he should be an exceptional Invader on-par with Skoodge.

But we all know the truth is more complicated then that. Zim’s talents and training are hampered by his own massive ego, absolute inability to accurately assess threats and his impulsive desires for destruction and death. He’s unable to judge when he’s punching above his weight or tackling an endeavor beyond his abilities. He cannot admit when he has made an error, even just to fix or improve an invention/plan. And he always allocates his resources in the dumbest way possible. 

And that’s all, like, emergent from Irken Ideology - or at least from Zim’s logical extreme of it. Confidence and selfishness are rewarded on Irk - Zim is mostly unusual in terms of sheer volume (or maybe he’s too Short to be allowed to have such a high opinion of himself.) 

His inability to proportionally handle threats is emergent from the Empire’s ideals of Irken Supremacy. Zim is supposed to see all other species in the universe as stupid and inferior and worthy only of servitude and so logically they can’t be a serious threat to him, an Elite Irken Soldier. But he also needs to internally justify why all of these Clearly Inferior Beings are even a problem to the Irken Empire in general and for him in specific. Especially when he fails to conquer them as easily as a ‘Superior Being’ is supposed to. And so his ego and his insistence on Irkens being Superior has to elevate them into fearsome enemies. 

That Speciesism is also why his disguise is so bad! We directly see it in the first episode. He had the option of picking a more realistic human disguises but he just found it too gross. And that actually seems to be a trend, considering every Actual Invader we see on the show has a disguise that is just as bad if not worse.

And Zim’s tendency towards delusions is also born, at least partially, from his devotion to Irken Ideology. Not just from the obvious insistence of the superiority of himself and his Empire despite his constant failures. But also… how do you balance out the Irken values of selfishness with the also-Irken values of loyalty and absolute obedience to the Empire and the Tallests? For Zim, the obvious answer seems to be ‘delude himself into believing whatever selfish personal whim he has is actually for the good of the Empire and the true will of the Tallest’. That’s how he can break All of the Rules All of the Time and still act like he’s just another obedient and loyal vessel of the Tallest. 

And then there’s the value of destruction and cruelty. This is absolutely not a Zim-only thing - that is a value he got from Irken society in general. After all, it’s pretty clear they don’t even have, like, a token excuse for their universe-conquering aspirations. They’re just doing this shit because destroying and subjecting the universe seems Fun and Cool. I mean, ‘Battle of the Planets’ demonstrates that better than anything. 

The Tallests have no idea of what to do with the planets they conquer. They don’t need them for anything. They decided Blorch's new purpose as a spur-of-the-moment decision and it was a Parking Structure Planet. Most of Irk’s single-use planets are pretty silly but this one especially so. Parking Structures only have value based on them being near a Place People Want to Go To, so a whole planet of them really defeats the whole idea. The Tallests only conquered Blorch and wiped out the Rat People because they want to conquer planets and wipe out sapient species.

And that is… exactly the same sort of meaningless cruelty Zim demonstrates. I mean… What Zim did with Prisoner 777 is literally just a smaller-scale recreation of what the whole Irken Empire did to the Vortians. And honestly, Zim actually has a slightly-better track record of actually getting ‘his’ Vortian to do what he wants. While the Irken Empire in general has basically shot themselves in the foot and assured all of their best technology is going to come with some sort of Stupid Hidden Flaw and all because they wanted to be the Conquerors rather than ‘just’ allies. 

The difference is really just that Zim values destruction so much he has problem processing that directing the destruction at his own people is still a very bad thing in the eyes of the empire.

And that’s… kind of the ideological blind spot the Tallests fall into during ‘Battle of the Planets’, I think. They should know that Zim is very much an Unstoppable Death Machine, just one that they can’t control and thus should be kept as far away from the Empire and Operation Impending Doom 2 as possible. But in their little Irken-Ideology-Poisoned minds - being an “Unstoppable Death Machine” is a Good Thing and Zim is obviously Bad - so, obviously logically he cannot be an Unstoppable Death Machine. 

And throughout this entire episode, the Tallest mock the idea that Zim is even capable of… not just achieving his and the Empire’s goals (obviously, yeah, he is incapable of doing that), but that he's even capable of properly causing destruction? Which they should know he is very capable of. And this is probably the closest he ever came in the show to legitimately destroying the human race. Only being foiled due to a huge stroke of luck on Dib’s part that nobody saw coming. And yet the Tallests were so certain that Zim, of all the Irkens in the galaxy, is somehow incapable of destroying a planet???

And at the end, Zim does prove himself as an Unstoppable Death Machine by, once again, managing to kill a fuckload of his own people while the Tallests laugh about how inaccurate that descriptor is for him. 

This is extra ironic with the Tallests throwing that one guy out of the airlock at the start of the episode

They punish others just for not remembering Zim’s rampage, but they clearly have not internalized what it Means themselves.

The fact that a guy like that even managed to reach the most prestigious not-height-based position in the Irken military in the first place should be a cause of some serious introspection of how Irken Military training and evaluation is handled. Especially when you consider much more competent would-be-Invaders like Tak got dismissed and punished for things totally outside of their control.

But… It seems like the only lesson anyone in the Irken Empire learned was just “Zim is awful”. Which is true, but isn’t really getting to the root of the matter. 

You can see another example of that mindset from the Tallests in ‘Hobo 13’. Because those two were so sure Zim was going to lose, and lose painfully. Because he is Incompetent, obviously that means he can’t do it. Totally forgetting that Zim actually totally has the athletic, combat and - most importantly, technological skills and out-of-the-box thinking that allowed him to survive and thrive. 

I mean, yeah, that means he cheated and threw his entire squad to the dogs for his own personal gain and petty sadistic amusement but… that is absolutely not something the Irken Empire frowns upon. The Tallests especially love to torment and even kill off their subordinates for the pettiest of reasons. Skoodge, featured in both of these episodes, is a great example.

And like, ‘being bad leaders and tormenting their own underlings’ is basically what the Tallests spend the entirety of that episode doing.

That Sergeant had ideological problems with Zim being such a horrible and callous leader, but that’s clearly not a representation of the Irken Empire’s stance. Quite the opposite really. Zim might be a disgrace to Hobo 13, but he was an exemplary Irken. The only reason why him winning was a problem is because he’s Zim and they all hate him.

And speaking of the Tallests’ own behavior reflecting Zim’s… let’s talk a bit about ‘Enter the Florpus’.

Because the downfall of the Irken Armada in that story is not just Zim’s fault. I mean, it is partly Zim’s fault. Without him there wouldn’t be a Florpus in the first place. But the narrative makes it constantly very very clear that this is Not Actually a Threat for the Armada… if not for the Tallests adamantly and childishly refusing to change course. 

The Tallests hate Zim, and they make it clear at every possible opportunity. And they hate him because he’s so damn incompetent and such a threat to the Empire’s safety. And yet they constantly demonstrate they possess the exact same core personality issues as Zim - they’re just slightly better having, like, a veneer of reasonability and being able to perceive reality (and also they are tall, which helps them get away with more.) And nowhere is it more obvious than ‘Enter the Florpus’...

Where the Tallests prove that they can be just as childish and single-minded -

And just as destruction-hungry - 

And just as quick to deny reality -

And just as disrespectful of their underlings. 

This recurring bit with the navigator is especially striking to me, because more than anything it makes me remember… Operation Impending Doom 1.

Two times the Irken Empire has been brought to the brink of collapse. And both of these times it is because a powerful high-ranking Irken (one time an Invader, the other time the Tallests themselves), refused to listen to the warnings and concerns of a lower-ranking expert Navigator - continuing with a course of destruction for their own people. 

You could say the Irken Empire was doomed from the start because of their own philosophy of cruelty and selfishness. Eventually, it was bound to create someone like Zim - who takes the Irken Ideology to its logical extreme in the most destructive way possible. Or you can say the Irken Empire was doomed from the start because of their asinine height-based class system. Which basically inevitably assures that at some point the reigns of the Empire will be at the hands of someone buffoonish and incompetent enough to drag the whole Empire down with them. And both of these viewpoints are true in their own way but also…

The Irken Empire was also doomed from the start cause, whatever this is a result of a culture that highly values obedience to your superiors over common sense, or because punishments for disobedience are just so terribly severe - these two Navigators continued to push those knobs and drive that ship even as they knew their commanders were mad and their actions were just driving their own Empire towards oblivion. 

Perhaps the Irken Military could use some sort of protocol of what to do when your superior is being clearly unreasonable and endangering not only the mission but literally the fate of your entire civilization? No, of course not. Yet another lesson not learned from Zim’s actions in ‘Impending Doom 1’. The only important lesson Irk needed to learn from that was just ‘Fuck This One Guy in Particular’.

Zim’s whole existence is like a twisted parody of the Irken Empire and all of its values. It’s really no wonder that the Tallest never got the joke. 

[realjaysumlin]

SCIENTIST COULDN'T HIDE HIS DISAPPOINTMENT AFTER DISCOVERING ANCIENT PH...

There are so many things that irritated the heck out of me about this video. First of all nothing surprises me about people who believes in scientific racism which pins Black Indigenous People as inferior with low IQ's and if anyone believes in this rubbish is the ones with the low IQ.

Even this Black African who is presenting the video uses the word minority, what the heck did that come from? How do you get a minority out of humans in the first place unless you too believe in race science?

What is wrong with some of the Black People on earth today? Do they not do any type of research on their own? Do they even study anatomy and nature? This is very easy to realize that there's no separation of humanity no way possible can we even try to do this and be correct.

If you believe in this you are broadcasting to the world that you are a complete idiot and have no idea of how our natural world function. You missed the elementary biology class on mitosis and meiosis and how sexual selection works along with reproductive life. Yes, you will have to be the dumbest mother fucker on the planet to believe in that shit of being a different species of humans.

Only people who are this dumb are shit people who calls themselves white and those shit people who believes in creationism, no one else on earth can be this stupid.

[real-hot-grl-shi]

I have another rant.

Denki isn’t dumb. At least in the way people portray him

Denki is ofc slow in school educationally, especially when it comes to math (I don’t fucking blame him) but at least to me I don’t think he’s stupid at everything. Especially when it comes to his quirk and thinking fast (at least in the 6th season.) like of course he grown and stuff since the first season, but he passed the exams (it was in like season three I think) before two of the smartest people in the class. And some people in fics make him THE DUMBEST MOTHER FUCKER ON THE PLANET.

and back to what I was saying about thinking fast and getting stuff done, he took out that one guy with the meatball quirk with nothing but his brain and Bakugou’s grenade. Like guys. also when he goes into his yay mode, he doesn’t go dumb. It’s confirmed by hori that he doesn’t, he just overused his quirk, just like izuku breaks his bones when he overuses his quirk. Or ochako vomits. And isn’t that nga in pain whenever he overuses his quirk and people just laugh it off? 👁️👁️

that’s all I got 😼😼😼😼😼

He would low key wanna date me (I’m delusional)

[saintmeghanmarkle]

To Be A Celebrity And To Be Applauded For Saying the DUMBEST Things.... by u/Zestyclose-Level1871

To Be A Celebrity And To Be Applauded For Saying the DUMBEST Things.... "It's funny the pedestals we put undeserving people on. Simply because they're rich and famous...."Well said. Lost Beyond Pluto nails Walmart Wallis in a nutshell yet again......http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1fsQSI6HHgThat being said, Walmart Wallis' biggest personality flaw is the ongoing war between her mental and corporeal forms of existence.Her 20 something brain has entered the final stage of losing the chronological war with her 40 something body. Her 20 something brain has continuously deluded her self perception as an organic ingénue. Her 40 something body has continuously reminded her of her failed 40x40 bday expose. Which involuntarily set Wallis on her journey towards a midlife crisis and inevitable geriatric club membership by 50 something.The fact she spent her entire life sacrificing her soul to the Fame Monster at the altar of Hollywood A list celebrity. Yet has no professional achievements of note to date. That would validate why the public should fulfill her insatiable narcissistic craving for social recognition and acceptance on a global scale. And so unsurprisingly, has received no celebrity recognition or redemption from the very Hollywood society elites she continues to worship to date. That is the biggest tragedy.This inconvenient war of reality is one her 20 something brain is increasingly losing. As the latest PR fallout over her Nigerian tour has clearly indicated.Despite growing up middle class, Wallis remains completely disconnected from the realities the average person faces today. Especially when she fails at practicing Plain Folk appeal propaganda through her narcissistic lens with gibberish like "I do see ME in you and YOU see ME in YOU".Her ongoing disconnect white knight championing an eco friendly green world. While polluting the planet with her massive jet set carbon footprint. All while lacking any genuine empathy for the daily struggles of the average person living from paycheck to paycheck. And in the case of 90%+ Nigerians (her new national family), this is literally living from mealtime to mealtime. This hypocrisy could've been forgiven. If only she hadn't lacked the foresight to bring all the jam samples she didn't send out to influencers. A couple jars of jam would've gone a fair way in helping out a Nigerian school pantry or two.All of her vacuous platitudes and superficial word salad to date, is a painful indicator of this complete lack of self awareness. And the widening breach between the reality of her 40 something body v. the fantasy of her 20 something brain.... post link: https://ift.tt/rphmMHi author: Zestyclose-Level1871 submitted: June 03, 2024 at 03:37PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit disclaimer: all views + opinions expressed by the author of this post, as well as any comments and reblogs, are solely the author's own; they do not necessarily reflect the views of the administrator of this Tumblr blog. For entertainment only.

[c-billbaby]

for the ask game:🟣💳💰🌼📚🛸

( @is-the-battlemech-cool-or-not )

🟣: Top three planets I ever been to, and in no real order, are Kooken's Pleasure Pit, which was not its legendary hedonistic self but rather a pretty place ruled by stuck up jerks that had it comin when we bombed their hot springs into a lake. Great fun, that. Next was Sarna, and specifically the Sarna Martial Academy which has still not entirely thrown off its old mercenary ways and whose students are hard working enough to love their time off, and low class enough to do it proper. Best parties ever. Then is Tharkad her own self, what treated me like dirty in the upper houses but was a right pleasure in the lower, and all of it smellin like fresh snow and flowers.

💳: Me most favorite client ever was this Freebie bloke what wanted us to take back his ancestral home from his evil uncle what killed his pa and stoled it. Sos we did and he payed us a handsome sum and was too dumb to check his palace treasury before we was on our way. If we had more clients like that we could retire! Worst client we ever had was the esteemed House Davion who pays us "on retainer" they says to play garrison on some shitehole called Palmyra along with AFFS goons when out of nowhere comes a sneak attack from the Dragon's own Sword of Light and they blast the Fedrats back to the stone age! We gets the order to regroup in the mountains but fuck a lot of that shite and we runs for it and never looks back. We never did get paid for that job on account of some nob got his tank kicked over and died.

💰: Dumbest purchase I ever made was tryin to build a horse race track in a swamp. Lotta horses died that season, due to drownin or steppin in sinkholes. Smartest purchase I ever made was tradin a planet for twn mechs, five power armors, and a dropship.

🌼: As for what I think of them clanners, they's just folk like anybody else. Sure they talk funny and they got their weird ways about em but in the end they bleed and breed and die like any of us... What? They don't breed? Like at all? DISHONORABLE?! So they do ot in thw butt or what?!

📚: I ain't much for book readin but if there's one old one I respect it's that Snord fella. Knee what he was about and did it or damn their eyes. Inspirin.

🛸: There's birds out there. People birds. And they can talk and they know things.

[ranger-kellyn]

i also recently learned that over 50% of adult usamerican's can't read above a 6th grade level, which explains. A Lot.

and like, i know the video was more of a call to action, and explaining it as a good part of why the left keeps losing, because they're essentially using words and terms that are "too big" for people with on average a below 6th grade reading level.

and i know it's not the average american's direct fault that we've been dealing with an education system that has been constantly gutted year after year thanks to reagan's legacy. it's not their fault the ruling class knew that having an uneducated and highly religious public meant they'd be much easier to control.

i get all that. i get all of that and so many other little nuances that i don't have time to cover in one text post.

but i'm still fucking pissed it means i'm being ruled by the literal dumbest fucking morons on the fucking planet who have never once thought to be curious about the world around them for even a fucking second apparently. i'm sick of being ruled by idiots who have probably never even left their home county, and are petrified of anyone who doesn't look, sound, or act like them. i'm fucking sick of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[awkwardgtace]

What are the differences between Guardian Au and original au for Melody and Kyrie? How did they meet, their dynamic, and are the guardians supposed to fight against a bigger threat?

got this ask at the perfect time since i just finished the game i was playing tonight :D

I wrote out a thing then decide to go down the list and do major differences at the end.

So how did they meet:

Melody made a comment about Kyrie's eyes being blue when she was near him on a school campus one day (probably college). He heard her and asked if that was a good thing. Started horrible embarrassment for Melody and a lot of attempts from Kyrie to convince her to give him a chance. (lots of self doubt when it comes to people with Melody.)

Siren's song AU Has their first meeting as a story, but something to bring up with it is that Melody at that point was extremely isolated. Her voice had put her and her family in danger. She couldn't risk being seen by anyone because her creepy manager could possibly find her. It took a while for her to accept that she didn't put everyone she cared about in danger just be letting them close, but that fear puts a lot of strain on how she and Kyrie interact at first. (and after he grows considering the aftermath of when she was controlled by the stones.)

Their Dynamic:

Guardian AU has a pretty fluffy dynamic compared to most others. Both Melody and Kyrie have a history of being around guardians and are suuuper used to it. Melody kind of has a blind faith in Kyrie. She genuinely doesn't believe he'd be capable of hurting her. The thing is hoping that faith never gets proved wrong. Kyrie has the same kind of trust, but he usually shows that in the mer au too. He trusts her because she trusts him. He just sees a lot less focus on her own safety he never noticed when they were the same size. It was easy to see her as brave and confident when he wasn't aware how small she looked to any and every guardian. Their relationship is more open too. Easier for them to admit their struggles most of the time. I'd say guardian AU has a much healthier relationship the mer AU

Mer AU has a much more struggle heavy dynamic. Breaking through a lot of pain and issues each has faced. A lot of mutual healing for traumas they faced. Kyrie has the biggest complex about his size in mer au. A lot more obvious hate in this one for him and his size. Melody slowly shows him that isn't true. Melody is convinced she's bad luck. That it's her fault Caprice had to stop doing sports, that if she'd listened she wouldn't be isolated how she is. Even blames herself for Kyrie and what he'll be later. Kyrie does a lot to teach her that she isn't and that she's allowed to be happy with the people around her. Their happy moments show a lot of the trust they build together. Kind of glimpses to what the guardian au relationship already has.

Guardian AU Why guardians exist?

I have had a document in the works for a lore drop like mafia au and I'm stuck on the dumbest part of it (spoilers it's the name for smallest guardian class. something, titan, colossus. I'll figure it out eventually though ideas are welcome. Genuinely considering giant rn lol)

Anyway, yes they exist to defend against bigger threats. Evolutionary protection for humans on a planet that had threats. Basically humans are small, but the planet isn't. There's environments that match each public class of guardians. Originally guardians would be pure defense against predators, which is the origin of the name lol. Then when there was enough they would go get necessities from the larger environments. Evolutionary need has kept the guardians popping up, but it's still kind of just a common ancestor trait so the government haven't found a way to tell if someone will be one. Just locked it to a general age range it can happen.

Kyrie is literally just in an extremely populated city where guardians do pop up frequently. The goal being to stop any from causing trouble while growing or if the 'wrong' person grows. Especially with the changes to memory that could encourage some people to see the average human as something lesser. Generally the days of pure protection have passed, but that still holds the main focus of most of their jobs.

Now the differences in the relationships for siren's song and guardian au melody and kyrie:

Biggest is Melody's blind faith. She doesn't have that in the siren's song universe, but she could after enough time which might be relevant to something I'm working on

Kyrie's comfort in his relationship with Melody is a difference too. He's a lot more confident as Melody's partner in siren's song since he has that promise of 'destined' backing him. There's no one better for her, but guardian au has a lot more insecurities about staying once he grew. Especially since most of the time relationships between a guardian and the average human only works when the guardian can take the medicine without pain.

Time of their relationships is different too. Melody and Kyrie for guardian au had already been to a point of living together before she went away for work. Basically the size difference was viewed as an added roadbump to an established relationship rather than a uphill battle to starting one.

Melody and Kyrie are different in the two universes too. Guardian!Melody is a lot more well adjusted. She has her traumas and struggles, but not to such an extreme. This Melody has friends and people to rely on outside her brother and Kyrie. People who support her and her choices that lets her feel confident enough to have the blind faith in Kyrie. Siren'sSong!Melody is extremely isolated. She has online friends, but keeps them at arms length. A strict distance is kept so they don't know enough to find her past. She could open up, but she doesn't know how. By the time she does, most of her life focuses on merfolk and she can't tell humans. Guardian!Kyrie had a much more normal life too. He wasn't abandoned or treated badly, his parents were pretty decent. Until he became a guardian, but that's another story. For the most part he's formed his own push to isolate himself out of fear of people seeing him as a monster. That's something he'll work on now that Melody is with him again. He can be talked out of spirals about his own actions and what he might have done by accident or on purpose. Siren'sSong!Kyrie is terrified of hurting anyone. Even by accident. He'd run and never return if he thought he hurt Melody. It's harder to convince him that he's worthy of the trust others have for him. In a way he's much more cowardly than the other versions of him. It's all because he's been told so much how he's a danger. He's fiercer at the same time. Much more willing to be the monster than his guardian au counterpart.

Mostly the difference is just in them and their comfort with each other. I def rambled again lol. But it's a lot of just established relationship and relatively healthy lives versus new relationship and heaps of trauma. I think I covered all I could, but if there's anything you wanted to know I missed just send another ask <3

[doodleferp]

(Archived) Vash and Ari Being Idiots In Love For An Entire Tumblr Post

Me being me, I have many unfinished drafts that are nearing some level of completion, but I had no idea what to start out with. So I figured — what better way to start writing about these two than to list off some fluffy headcanons!

Some of these were suggested by friends, others were inspired by super-cute stories, others came from my weird lil noggin.

Edit 2024: Given that Ari’s undergone a LOT of changes since this was first posted, I might do a rewrite of this later on. I’m not deleting this for posterity reasons.

I am not exaggerating in the slightest when I say that Vash and Ari are the biggest, dumbest simps on the planet. They have and will only continue to make people around them disgusted with how disgustingly-sappy, overly-affectionate they are with one another.

They’re constantly engaging in illicit hand-holding. They have weird conversations. They flop on each other. They make weird noises at each other and sing nonsense stuff. They purposefully mispronounce words. They turn almost everything into really bad innuendo. They are weapons of Class-G Cuteness and every other couple on No Man's Land pales in comparison.

In the past, Ari genuinely did not consider herself a very confrontational person. That is, until she started hanging out with Vash. He adopted not an introvert, but a ride-and-die hoe. The moment Ari thinks someone is disrespecting him, she busts through the wall to show them why that is not a thing they should have done. She is the woman at the counter and he is the guy who asked for no pickles.

Both of them are involuntarily touch-starved, and thus they take every opportunity to be glued to the other's hip. A touch, a stroke, whatever. they can. They'll hold hands or link arms while they walk, and since Vash has much more stamina than Ari, he'll carry her when she gets too tired to walk through the desert. Sneak-attack hugs and kisses are also Vash’s specialty.

As mentioned previously, Ari has all the tism and she makes weird noises to, among other things, illustrate her moods/reactions, and even just when she's bored. This clicks very well with Vash's Plant Brain, and he responds with his own mood sounds.

They constantly sleep together -- and that's not a euphemism, they are so hooked on snuggling up together in the same space that they actually have trouble sleeping when they're forced to sleep apart. Vash is a total snuggle bug and he absolutely craves body heat, so constantly snuggling is a must. Ari is partial to being the snugglee, but she loves being his big spoon. Sometimes while in the position she'll whisper "Little spoon?" and Vash will immediately snuggle up to her and curl up in a ball, ready for big spoon cuddles.

Not long after they started their snuggling together, they started getting their sleeping clothes mixed up and will occasionally wear the others’ pajamas. The clothes-sharing slowly escalates into sharing each others coats on occasion, and once they settle in Kasted it has spiraled out of control in the best way.

While they lived together in Kasted City, Vash would very quickly put down the fitted sheet on their bed, then dump all of the other blankets on top of him and Ari in a big pile while they were still warm. After their kiddos were born, he did it to them with initially-tiny but gradually-growing piles of laundry.

In addition to sleeping together constantly, they constantly shower/bathe together. They wash each other's hair, wash each other's bodies, help each other shave, etcetera. Baths can last for upwards of an hour because they’re too busy cuddling and talking and have long since finished cleaning themselves.

Remember that scene from Bob's Burgers where Linda dumped the entire bottle of bubble bath into the tub and turned it into like a paste? That's what Vash did when he was reintroduced to bubble baths. As Ari walks in, he rises from the depths, bubble beard hanging from his face, and makes a weird croaking sound. Ari has never not laughed at this and she's not about to start now.

Because Ari is still a gay by technicality, she got Vash into the "sir/ma'am" game that us gays play. You know the one. We all do it. They also constantly switch up the pronoun and it always gets at least one or two stares.

Also, fake arguments and random scenarios all the time. Like, out of nowhere one of them will start talking a certain way or doing a certain thing, and the other will join in without batting an eye and then ten minutes later they're wondering why they're pretending to be a couple of Tomases trying doughnuts for the first time.

I’m not joking when I say that these two are so cringe that people have thought they’re pretending to date for…whatever reason. They’ve been denied “couple discounts” for some ungodly reason, have been denied a single bedroom by a few weird innkeepers, and a few people have even asked if the other has kidnapped them. Those are truly interesting encounters, I’ll tell you hwat.

In short, these two are just completely and utterly smitten for one another and make no attempts to hide any of it. They’re both total idiots and everyone else has to suffer through it or go someplace else because no, it will not stop for any reason. Never.

c. doodleferp, 2023

[laffy-taffy-creations]

HAPPY BELATED DAY 9 PEOPLE!!!!

This fic was cross-posted on AO3 here

Fucking Up Royally

Polaroid | Mistaken Identity | "You're a liar"

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Taglist: @athenswrites @lili-loves-whump

Words: 1,646

Warnings: fighting, and an incredibly annoying character

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just a simple support course student. That’s what I was. That’s all I was.

At least, that was what I was meant to be.

The lab was almost empty, at least half the students had left school in favour of safety because of the villain attack while the rest that were still here were at their classes, albeit in something of a lockdown while the heroes and hero courses dealt with the villains.

When the shaking almost caused me to hit an extremely delicate part of the support item I was working on, I’d had enough.

I pushed away from where I’d been working with an angry sigh, I couldn’t just go in there angry, I had to be calm. Collected. Calm. Collected.

“You gonna go help the heroes?” Mei asked, wiping her hands of grease. She’d either just finished her current project or was about to switch projects.

“Well clearly that cant deal with whoever it is on their own,” I grumbled out.

She gave a small giggle. “Fuck em up, your grace.” She put her goggles back on and continued working on whatever it was.

I surveyed the counter area I was currently taking up, making sure there were no loose parts strewn about before leaving. I didnt know where the battle was happening, but I didnt need to know.

Mostly because once I reached one of the lowers levels, that battle reached me, one of the students crashed through the wall. I heard the laughing of a villain from the other side, and it sounded like AFO.

Oh it is so fucking on.

I checked for any major injuries or health concerns before leaving whichever of the hero students it was where they were.

A battle was raging, and the heroes were clearly losing. Obviously, that was a major fucking issue. Stepping through where the wall had broken, AFO was there but no one was trying to fight him.

“Well, is one of you gonna punch him?” I shouted at the heroes standing around, just looking at him, refusing to make a move. Several of them looked at me like I just said the dumbest thing on planet earth. “Fine then, I’ll do it.”

I charged at him. He had a lot more speed than he should have, but unluckily for him, I had more.

I missed my punch, but he had dodged away from it and directly in line with where my leg just so happened to be waiting so it could kick him in the back. It could not have been more obvious he didnt expect that.

While he doubled over, I kneed him in the chest and planted a foot on his throat, pinning him down pretty effectively. At least I let him breathe.

He laughed at me despite being in the disadvantage. “Who do you think you are, Clover Morgan?” he mocked.

I could tell he was trying to steal my quirk but had given up after thinking I didnt have any. Too bad he couldn’t tell I’d put up blockers around his quirk.

I drew and pressed the trigger on the item that expanded into my sword and took off my mask, tapping it and turning it into my crown. “That’s Princess Clover Morgan to you,” I growled, pointing the sword at him.

I put the crown on my head and tilted his chin up with my blade. “Now, would you care to tell me just what you thought you were doing?” I asked, making sure that my faux kindness in my voice could be seen through with the visible anger on my face.

I switched sword hands and elbowed the person sneaking up behind me, maintaining eye contact the whole time. Intimidation tactics could go both ways.

The falling of his face told me he didnt expect it to actually be me. The Princess Clover Donovan Morgan, heir to the throne of France, on many measures the most powerful person on the planter despite being a teen. The one person in the world with multiple quirks. The one person in the world with Reality Bending.

“I- I-... uhm- uh-” he stuttered out.

My scowl grew. I stabbed my sword through the floor next to his head and moved my foot up, tilting his head up to meet my gaze as I leered over him. “Not sufficient enough.”

My grip on my sword tightened, and sparks emerged all across the room, channeling my power into the surroundings through it. He truly was an idiot.

I couldn’t explain it, the room around us changed, first there was a form of blue electricity shocking every last one of the villains and their weird experiment creatures. Then void, pure darkness stretching across, a place between realities, perhaps an entirely new one, ending off with more electricity going through the entire room, but this time much much different, being entirely comprised of a rainbow of colors and pastels. The colors whizzed around me, in a sort of tornado.

He would never forget this lesson.

Not now, not ever. I would make sure of that.

With one last burst of energy, I teleported both of us out of the room, leaving my sword stuck in the ground for later. For now, I put him in a cell. One of the power blocking ones in a nearby hero agency. With a sigh of relief, however temporary it may be, I switched my crown back to my mask and put it on, feeling more like me again.

I didnt exactly like using my power like that. My authoritative power, anyway.

I teleported myself back to UA, going back to the weapons lab, finally able to build in peace.

Mei looked over at me expectantly when I walked in. “Dont worry, I did, in fact, fuck them up,” I said sitting down at my station. I caught a glimpse of a smirk while I got my materials back out.

----《 ¤ 》----

I finally finished S’s new support item. I pushed off from my workstation and breathed a sigh of relief. All in a day’s work.

“Hey, you ready to go? I’m hungry,” Mei smiled at me from the door having already finished what she was working on and cleaned up her area.

I nodded. “Let me put some of my stuff away and we can go.” I put everything back in its place as quickly as I could before joining her. “Oh, right, I have a quick pitstop to make first,” I said, leading us down to where the battle had taken place earlier. It had only been maybe 30 minutes to an hour.

Which was part of why it was surprising that there were still people there.

I stepped through the same hole in the wall that I’d used earlier, whoever had gotten thrown through it was probably in the nurse’s office now.

Some of the others waved at me, a few recognized me and either froze up and some even gave sheepish bows. I didnt really pay them much mind. It was weird enough that I was treated as my title every now and then by Mei, even though she was my friend. I didn’t need that trend starting with my friends in the hero course too.

I tried waking towards where I had left my sword while attracting little attention, but that failed.

“Hey! You cant touch that!” someone called at me.

“And why not?” I asked, continuing towards my sword until they physically got in front of me and blocked me.

“Because it’s Princess Clover Morgan’s!”

“I fucking know that.” I tried moving around them. They stepped in front of me again. I sighed, “Look dude, I dont need your help. Back the fuck off, it’s not your sword.”

“So?” he challenged.

Someone else piped up, “Bro you know that sword has a safety mechanism so only the princess can hold it right? You dont need to guard it!”

Thank gods some people had some sense in them.

“Oh,” he said, finally standing down.

“Yeah.” I walked forward and grabbed onto my sword, unsheathing it from the ground and twirling it around a bit. “I’m perfectly capable of getting and protecting my own damn sword, thanks.”

His jaw dropped. “Give that to me!”

Obviously he still wasn’t convinced. “Okay, look dude. This is the sword of Clover Morgan-”

“Princess Clover Morgan,” he grumbled.

“...Excuse me? Dont tell me how to refer to my own fucking self! You see this sword? You think I could mess up on my own technology? Here, dont believe me? Why dont you fucking try holding it!”

He was determined to prove a point. And so he foolishly reached out and tried to grab the sword, running into 2 issues. One, it was too heavy for him to hold because of the spell I’d put over it to increase in weight for maximum power and damage when extended into sword form, and two, it was charged with electricity that was more than happy to shock his sorry ass because he wasnt me.

“I’m not fucking discussing this further, I am Clover Morgan, this is my sword, and I dont need you fucking help with it thank you very much.” I twisted the bottom of the grip and it retracted back to the small metal rod of sorts that was the disguised version of it and put it back in my blazer’s pocket.

Performing a mocking curtsy, I marched myself back to where Mei was waiting for me. I really needed some fucking food after that shitshow of an interaction.

“So much for not wanting people to know,” she snorted, walking towards the cafeteria with me.

I groaned.

I didn’t even want to think about how times I’d already dealt with idiots saying ‘you’re lying’ by the end of the day. I almost turned into a villain myself from it.

[the-firebird69]

This guy is saying that this guy's pushing him to take things I want to know where they've taken things and he said it to his people. A few minutes later they called back and they said all over here in this area it's like 1/3 of the planet it's not that huge and it's vacant land but we can be below and they don't know they pointed out our bases that are top side and there's about 20 no there's about 50 that are what they call mega class and they'd say it's an easy match for the empire. What are you letting this **** **** **** in here for to make me look bad. And he says I don't know and our son says I don't want him anywhere near me he's carving his stupid **** back and forth to his little hut. Blaming me and it's more insulting than you would ever imagine. So that's in real time right now and he says and partly and he says I don't have any time for this that's stupid **** **** has been using my carts. I'm not too. So now it's kind of a question what does that mean using my carts And what is a see through screen on a boat so now we're going to nail that piece of crap twice once with the ai story and now we're going to nail with this screen **** that he's doing and Tano cover it's a convertible or something which might mean heads and we're going ahead and getting him and his and we're going ahead and getting him and his boys are up it says it's well worth it mac getting mad at you. So don't let it be habit but I do see what you're saying you're a thinker and it's dangerous and you thought about it and we're thinking about together which is different but yeah this is wrong this guy is a huge loser now I'm going after him. So he said that and he is going after them thankfully and Ben Arnold hears it and says wow we're messing around with him and it's wrong and he's thinking about the problem. And he says what is he saying he's he's karting. So he went to records and he found out what particular pieces and it looks like what our son and daughter are saying. We're gonna have a war and the max are probably and the max are probably gonna get interested because he's saying it about them too.

Thor Freya

I'm actually not laughing it's not funny but I am laughing 'cause they bothered him and we're just not paying attention it's the dumbest show you have ever seen. My kids feel bad and they get it we're stuck in this mental hospital it means something as these **** doing it. So we have to look at the way that it is cheap easy simple code and Dave had code like that too and he's using it within theirs and we're going ahead and examining it. Some nasty **** that we have to figure out about the AI too. I thank my friend he thanks me he got the laundry done he didn't explode until he's riding along and people are threatening him and I do see and it's awful what a bunch of turds he told them that he lives up there he's going to take over and he knows who's coming down and they always pretend they're him and Arnie's around he says Arnie is probably alive and you never heard anybody for the most part i'm starting to see something he's trying to survive and it's hard I am too and he realizes I'm helping and I helped by sitting there because we don't want the guy there and I get a lot of information so I'm going to trade off for the guys and Michael too has information he sat here forever. We're gonna ask him. Thank you for coming down says no problem i'm keeping everybody out of there so you don't have to work. Well they dropped their laundry off and they come by and see how it's going and really what they're doing is driving by and harassing us. He says that's good enough for a week or two good God this is good quotes this is gross they're like animals and they had this plan to take over they still think they're big we're going to get on this and Garth was right.

mac daddy

Olympus

[yorktaylor]

soemthing about the people in my english class just make me feel like the dumbest dumbfuck on the planet

[firethekitty]

74 & 50 ^-^

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

i don’t know if it’s the absolute hardest i’ve ever laughed but i have a prevailing memory of me in freshman year of college sitting in one of the student lounges waiting for class to start and browsing tumblr and this deep fried image of hillary clinton came up (can’t find it anymore) that said like “breaking news hillary clinton has shit her pants and died” and i was trying desperately not to laugh bc there were people around but that just made me laugh harder so i was sitting there fucking shaking and crying over the dumbest picture on the planet

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

i have chronic pain so a normal person’s 0 is already like a 3 for me, but also depends on the pain. i can tolerate muscle/joint pain until it’s like an 8-9 on the scale but the second i feel a headache or cramping (not normal cramping, i have atrophy 😔) coming on i’m whipping those thangs out immediately bc they’ll only get worse