#thesis lol

[forabeatofadrum]

Aka, my masterthesis. Yes, I did it. I published it on AO3 for the ones who are interested. I even made this funky banner!

The work is hidden from the search engines, but you can read it here! It is 13K words long, which includes the acknowlegdements and bibliography.

Tagging people who have expressed interest in it: @aroace-genderfluid-sheep, @cerriddwenluna, @redheadgleek, @cutestkilla, @wellbelesbian, @boyinjeans, @nightimedreamersghost, @sohereswhatyoumissedlastweek (surprise, I have been sharing stuff about my thesis on my fic blog), @vreniii (surprise as well!), @bifrostiron (surprise, surprise!), @when-kurt-met-blaine, @bitbybitwrites, @blurglesmurfklaine, @ivelovedhimthroughworse, @quizasvivamos, @coffeegleek, @larkral, @glowinthedarkparades, @facewithoutheart, @artsyunderstudy, @thnxforknowingme. If I missed anyone, then... oops. It’s free to read for everyone who has the link, and the link is up there!

[swampybogg]

[ayzaart]

unavoidable (sound on)

[why-the-heck-not]

me, a responsible being, working on the coding project as I should vs. me, a dysfunctional shithead, getting distracted by reading about brains (once aGAIN damnit (it's my favorite "I need to study my field but bc I should do that it's an impossible unthinkable feat now, so I'm reading about something else to fool my brain I'm still being productive"-topic))

[halfmoonstruck]

im late to the party..!!!

[hychlorions]

(looks at the time) ooh... the bitching hour

[pygmypouter]

This place is a message... and part of a system of messages... pay attention to it!

[vaguely-concerned]

I think there is no better illustration of the more intimate, internal angle veilguard chooses to approach its characters and themes with than the fact that like... listen in this game we get to follow so much pain back to its source, and we find it really does permeate everything in thedas today on a level that evokes a kind of cosmic horror. the bones of the earth itself are broken open and drenched in trauma; the world is mired in suffering down to the core and the marrow. as above, so below. as outside, so inside. on the big scale, and the small. all of creation is a throat gone to bloody shreds from screaming in agony, when you allow yourself to listen. (maybe that's why we usually don't, or can't, bring ourselves to listen.)

...and yet the thing that makes me personally so desperately gnaw-my-own-arm-off sad that it feels like I could die from it is that in a run where you save minrathous, lucanis never gets out from the ossuary in his mind. what's worse, no one even knows he's in there. he's still in there. and there is no rescue on the way, because he's locked down so deep inside himself this time that there's no way for anyone to even understand there's a need for it. would he be able to welcome one, if someone did realize it and tried to reach him? You know him -- you can open the door, but he won't walk through. He won't move. There's nowhere to go. the way he says 'it doesn't matter what I want' with such utter, leaden, final resignation in the wrecked treviso cutscene is going to haunt me forever. it makes perfect sense to me you can't romance him after that, I'm not sure he's ever really here completely in that version of events, at least within the timeline the game takes place. he's just standing in the shitty awful ossuary torture room all alone, and no one's coming to find him.

and what is that, next to the millennia of suffering screaming through all of history and creation? well. nothing, of course, not really. a single plucked string in an endless deafening symphony of despair. one singular trapped and broken soul among the untold millions that have gone before and the untold more that will surely come after, that are being made as we speak in the conflicts and tragedies unfolding through the game. but more importantly it's also everything. to me. and to the game too. the game says this also matters. just as much as anything else, this pain matters and deserves to be loved and comforted. even in the face of all the suffering in the world, beneath the systems perpetuating all the banalities of evil, for good or for ill sometimes, we matter to each other. and what would be the point of anything, if we didn't? that's where hope lives. as long as you're alive, the right key might still arrive to gently open the locks of your mind, the right hand might reach out one day and you will bring yourself to take it. you don't know what tomorrow's going to be. if in the meantime the only thing we have to gain in staying is each other -- isn't that enough? isn't that everything? why does this one guy saved mean the world saved to me, a little bit? hello. hello. hello. there's stuff going on in the deep here.

when I say that the deep thematic spine of this game is so good and solid that the occasional clumsiness and false tones of the writing on top of it simply cannot hurt me... I think this is part of what I mean. works for every single one of the characters of course! lucanis' is the predicament that speaks to me most viscerally. for. uh. personal reasons there simply is no time to get into at this juncture lol. but just as much the idea that davrin can die before he could see the world freed from the blight and the need for wardens, or that harding can get cut down right at the beginning of a great revelation that could change everything and heal things no one had even dreamed could be healed. all of them are like this. each and every one of us has a world and so many stories inside that matter, and it's not to dismiss the larger systemic forces and evils that create so much of the suffering in the world to focus in on that for one installment of the series -- only to view it from a different angle that brings other things to light than what we're looking for normally in this series. it's worth looking at what's actually here.

(have you ever heard the poem 'good light' by andrea gibson? it's very good. you should check it out if you haven't, you can find it on youtube. it has these lines:

Come make it count Our finding each other like we found God Come root for the salt Come believing we can heal it all, even everything Even everything that has ever been done I know how much the pain of this world weighs But I can still tip the scales in light's direction Whenever I have your name on my tongue

and yeah. I think that's basically what I'm trying to say here.)

[lesbiandarvey]

LEWIS NIXON | THE FIRST LADY OF EASY COMPANY

[evercelle]

I love ur soft Feixiao polycule art SO MUCH and now I’m kinda interested in seeing the diagram you mentioned in the tags of one of them?/nf

ok this is for u and the other anons who asked. be prepared for my red string conspiracy board level brain vomit ship thesis: feijiaomo edition, or: destruction and devotion, romantic stylez

[mytortoisegotstuckinatupperware]

[forabeatofadrum]

Hello folks! Happy Out of Touch Thursday. I am a day late, because yesterday I was out and about all day, so thank you @facewithoutheart​, @confused-bi-queer​, @wellbelesbian​ and @artsyunderstudy​ for the tags.

It is actually a great timing, because today I found out that I have passed my thesis! Guys, I think I just kind of graduated university. My advisor sent me this:

Not going to lie, I expected a better grade (I got a 6.5), but you know what, I accept it. I had a lot of problems with my thesis and I most of the time felt like I had no clue what I was doing, so I am glad that I made it. Not only that, but I had fun doing it, most of the time. The real grade is the friends we made along the way or something.

I will make sure y’all can read it if you want. As mentioned, I can put it in my university’s thesis repository, but then it’ll be in Dutch so I will translate it for my “international audience”. I do want to come back to this question: do you guys think it is allowed on AO3?

Anyway, the moment I handed in my thesis on Sunday I just started fic writing. I even made a meme about it, because of course I did. I’ll put the snippet under the cut with the weather.

So yeah I just finished 6 chapters of Ljubim te but not the upcoming one. Fun. I also worked a bit on the Quinn side-story, because yes, there is a Quinn side-story. Not only that, but I have gotten ideas for the final chapter and then it’ll be over.

I actually hope to have this fic finished before I go on vacation, because that would be lovely, but I am not going to force it. I’m glad I am finally seeing the end, because I am excited to share the story with you.

Here’s some stuff from Ljubim te to begin with:

“Oh, there is a hat shop over there,” Kurt says after Quinn’s detailed everything about her fancy beret. It’s a bit on the nose, but it is stunning and it keeps the sun out of her eyes. “You should check it out.”

Kurt gives Quinn the route towards Rikoma, Miha Kotar s.p.

Quinn beams towards Blaine.

“Oh babe, I keep telling you to not slick back you hair, so that you can wear a fancy hat as well. We should go there!”

Kurt’s stomach churns when he hears the term of endearment.

Kurt and Quinn await Blaine’s reaction. It’s an out. They’ve had their dinner and they can go. Kurt has given him a way out, and he didn’t even mean to. But to Kurt’s surprise, Blaine declines.

“How about you check it out,” he says to Quinn.

“Oh. Okay.” Quinn seems as surprised as Kurt.

Yes, Quinn is a hat person in this fic. I don’t know when that started, but it first because the hat shop is actually really nice. AND the new VIGÒ store is apparently next to it. In fact, when I saw the location of the new VIGÒ my first thought was: “No, the hat shop is gone???” but it isn’t. They’re neighbours.

And now, the weather: @quizasvivamos @blurglesmurfklaine @coffeegleek @esperantoauthor @otherworldsivelivedin @caramelcoffeeaddict @sillyunicorn @bazzybelle @dragoneggos @raenestee @tectonicduck @nightimedreamersworld @urban-sith @thnxforknowingme @captain-aralias @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @takitalks @justgleekout @cerriddwenluna @tea-brigade @ivelovedhimthroughworse @moodandmist @whogaveyoupermission @bookish-bogwitch @aroace-genderfluid-sheep @ionlydrinkhotwater @1908jmd @special-bc-ur-part-of-it @larkral @chen-chen-chen-again-chen @cutestkilla @martsonmars @shrekgogurt @boyinjeans @rockitmans @bitbybitwrites @whatevertheweather​ @nightimedreamersghost​

[moonieee]

Some bingqiu fluff doodles i made for a reel on my insta page. I remember i drew these instead of doing my thesis 💀 But anyway, pls enjoy them! (and check out my instagram page too!)

[crowleyanthonys]

#new meme reaction just dropped

[shikisei]

[orphiclovers]

For a lot of orv, the Big Bad Villains™ of the story are the voyeuristic Star Stream that gourges on 'stories' - the lived experience of people that they see as fictional. And depending on how far you, the reader, are willing to suspend your disbelief and buy into the more meta/fourth wall breaking elements, at some point you start getting feeling... that maybe YOU are the villain of the story. YOU are the star stream, the characters are trying to escape from YOUR gaze. It's a strange kind of guilt, and orv lets you stew in this feeling for 500 chapters.

But there's a problem. 'the characters are real people with real feelings and going through real suffering' is a fun concept and honestly the next logical step for an isekai'd into a novel story, it's explored to its fullest, but it's NOT a viable way to actually engage with fiction in real life. obviously.

so fuck, what do we do now? I think orv handles this question beautifully. It writes itself out of this corner by absolving you of your guilt.

No, yeah the characters WERE trying to escape from the Star Stream's gaze, but YOU are not a voyeur like the Star Stream. as a 'kim dokja fragment' this story was written for YOUR eyes and your eyes only. unlike the Star Stream, every single character in orv desperately WANTS you to read their story. they all wrote Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint™ togther, for you. you are not evil for having read it. I love you and I'm glad you survived etc.