#KEITH HARING DOG BE UPON YE
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(looks at the time) ooh... the bitching hour
#klapollo#klavier gavin#apollo justice#ace attorney#.png#was about to just caption this with 'bitching' but 1) this is funnier 2) i think stranger things has ruined that#KEITH HARING DOG BE UPON YE#i feel bad i've mostly posted sketches this past year but again i'm still doing thesis lol#next term though i only have one class and it's an elective =w= maybe i can open comms then#including some experimental ones. like low poly creachers hehehehhe
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Love Connections and Other Works of Art (Sashea) - Estuary
Summary: Sasha becomes infatuated with a mural. That’s not the only thing she’s infatuated with.
A/N: I had an idea and ran with it. A meet cute and all the fallout. I hope y'all enjoy it! AO3 Link
“Ma’am? Ma’am, I am so sorry, but my boss wants to know why you’re loitering.”
Sasha flushed, becoming painfully aware of how long she had stared at the mural on the side of this building. The mural was captivatingly colorful and practically pulsed with geometric shapes that were just abstract enough to draw in the viewer with the desire to discover what they were. However, even after staring at the mural for upwards of ten minutes on her way to work, Sasha could not determine their meaning. At one moment, the shapes became silhouettes of dancers, at another an architectural landscape, and at yet another, angular clouds.
Upon tearing her eyes from the wall and spinning around to face the chiding voice, Sasha’s pale complexion deepened to a strawberry red as she laid eyes on a truly stunning woman. Her deep, creamy skin glinted under the sunlight, long, tight curls piled on her head’s right side. Her mouth formed a smirk as Sasha stared, but even with that smug expression, the lady looked beautiful. A pink blazer paired with a cobalt blue skirt usually wouldn’t seem professional, but with her stature and poise, she looked expensive and unique.
Sasha looked down instinctively, not wanting to ogle this poor woman any longer. However, staring at the concrete sidewalk only led Sasha’s eyes to a pair of frighteningly tall, pink stiletto pumps. Pumps which then connected to a pair of slender, toned, mile-long legs.
“Um.. girl? Are you good?” The woman asked. The question seemed to reflect concern, but the smirk had transformed into nothing short of a full, shit-eating grin.
Good job, Sasha. You look great. Get yourself together.
Sasha steeled herself enough to meet the woman’s eyes.
Talk about art. You can do that.
“I’m so sorry, I just was looking at this mural. The colors and composition are so wonderfully vibrant. The style speaks to traditional cubism, but the interplay of light, shade, and color reminds me of a Charles Demuth.” Sasha explained, eagerly gesticulating. Even then, she cringed slightly when her hand movements caused the pins littering her own blazer to rattle loudly.
After a brief pause, the woman responded.
“Well, I’m happy you like it so much. In fact, do you want to meet who designed it?”
“Absolutely! If you could give me a phone number, or an email, I’ll contact her. And I’ll get out of your hair, sorry about all that.”
“Oh, I’m not gonna go through all that trouble. You can just talk to me now.”
Fuck. Sasha was a goner.
“Really?”
“Yes! Do I look like I’m playing?”
“Oh my god…” Sasha muttered, the expression slipping from her lips. And upon seeing Sasha so flustered, this beautiful, perfect woman threw her head back in a full laugh.
It was the most lovely laugh Sasha had ever heard. It sounded deep like thunder in the mountains, and it sounded warm like an embrace or a crackling fireplace. It sounded like all these things, and Sasha felt like she was experiencing all of them at once. Maybe this mystery woman of Sasha’s dreams was laughing at her, but she would be ridiculed at forever if it meant she got to hear that laugh.
Double fuck.
“I’m Shea Couleé,” the woman said, sticking out her delicately manicured hand.
“Nice to meet you, Miss Couleé,” Sasha replied, earnestly (probably too much so) grabbing Shea’s hand and shaking it, “I’m Sasha Velour.”
“Oh, call me Shea. It’s Miss Couleé only if you nasty.”
Sasha felt more blood rise to her cheeks, opening her mouth to only remain silent. Shea pulled Sasha in slightly close, so her cheek practically touched Sasha’s ear. They were much too close for strangers, but for an enamored woman, perfectly fine.
Whispering against Sasha’s ear, Shea muttered, “By all means, continue to call me Miss, then…”
Shea (damn her!) let go of Sasha’s hand and stepped back into her original position.
“You know what, Sasha? Why don’t we talk about this,” Shea flippantly gestured to the mural, “over drinks later today?”
How can she treat such a masterpiece so casually?
“I’d love to do that, Shea.”
“Catch you later, Miss Velour,” Shea tossed the phrase over her shoulder, strutting back into the shop, leaving Sasha standing bug-eyed on the sidewalk.
As Sasha hurried away to work as initially intended, she could only focus on Shea’s breath on her ear and the weight of her hand on her wrist.
————-
Sasha’s job mostly consisted of staring at a screen for hours on end, so going out to the bar provided a nice change of pace. She enjoyed her job authoring write-ups of local art galleries, but the near-silence of the office and the polite hushed tones of artistic display spaces felt suffocating after long stretches. In places built on self-expression, the most primitive form had to wait until after work to shine.
The additional mounting excitement and nervousness of Sasha’s meeting with Shea didn’t help with anything. Shea had slipped Sasha her business card before returning to her job, and all-day, Sasha couldn’t help but run her fingers over the cardstock to remind herself that the interaction that she had was real.
While Sasha might typically reject the stereotype of the helpless, love-stricken woman (particularly when viewed through the eyes of men), Sasha felt like nothing short of François Boucher’s The Love Letter. Normally, she found the grazing animals, the flowers, the women swathed in layers of pastel silks to be patronizing and suffocating in its delicacy and adorable pleasantries. Sasha now could not relate more. Maybe her pastoral paradise could be a desk and ergonomic chair. Perhaps her love letter could be the business card of a beautiful stranger.
Even later, at the bar, Sasha’s fingers carefully traced the edge of the card. The repetitive motions felt soothing, although it was hard to calm the tidal wave of nervousness in her head.
What should I say? It’s been five minutes since 7:30. That’s normal. That’s fashionably late still. Was I supposed to change before I got here? Does she… like me?
Sasha’s mind raced, but it kept getting stuck on that final question. Like a record player skipping over and over.
It’s been ten minutes since when we agreed. She should be here. She won’t come. It’s a joke. I hope it won’t look strange if I just leave the bar alone when she doesn’t show up. She can’t like me. Could she like me?
Sasha hooked and unhooked her heels on the rest of the barstool. She took a pen from her purse and began to draw on Shea’s business card.
It’s been fifteen minutes. I’ve been duped. I should have known. It was too good to be true–
“Sasha! Sorry I’m late.”
Triple fuck.
Sasha needed to get used to how gorgeous Shea looked because constantly getting this flustered was frankly getting embarrassing. However, Shea wasn’t making it easy.
Shea had changed into a vibrant, pink, crushed velvet minidress that shone under the bar’s lights. As she approached Sasha at the bar, she smiled widely and met Sasha’s eyes.
Putting her hand on Sasha’s back, Shea took the seat next to her.
“You wear pencil skirts to the club?” Shea asked, bemused eyes flickering from Sasha’s blouse to the aforementioned skirt.
“I didn’t have time to change, I’m sorry,” Sasha said, torn between her desire to examine how she looked and her desire to continue staring.
“No, it’s all good, girl! You look just stunning here as you did on the sidewalk today. So you wanted to talk about my mural?”
This casual, kind, and flirtatious manner kept throwing Sasha off her rhythm. One second she had her–very professional–thoughts and questions organized, and a whim, her thoughts were cast into the sea.
“Um, well, yes. I just thought your mural was so lovely and captivating. It captures such a specific artistic feeling, and I wanted… I wanted to know what your inspiration was?” Sasha forced the first part of the question out but gradually took a stride as her mind focused and settled itself once more on the topic at hand.
“I’ve always loved, like, cubism and the reduction of big things to more abstract shapes. I wanted to do that, but for something that was already semi-abstract, leave it up to the viewer. I love pop art and bright colors, and I figured, this’ll attract shoppers,” Shea leaned in, smiling again, “and some hot women.”
Sasha, to her delight, learned so much about Shea as the dinner continues.
Shea hadn’t had formal painting or visual arts training, instead studying fashion and design. Her job at the store exists mostly to pay the bills, but she volunteered to do the mural for free. Shea loves pairing pastels and saturated colors. Shea likes savory foods more than sweet foods. Shea was raised in Chicago and moved to New York for school. Shea was single. Shea was very single.
As the conversation continued, Sasha found herself in turn revealing more and more about herself. Her love of Keith Haring’s Unfinished Painting and Jean Michel-Basquiat’s Untitled (Skull). Her dream of owning a gallery specializing in queer art. Her disdain for salty snacks. Her beloved dog Vanya. How she was single. Very single.
The conversation also served to distract Sasha from the copious amounts of alcohol she and Shea were consuming. Alcohol that loosened Sasha further and further, to the point that her inhibitions began to evaporate.
“I’m glad that you liked my mural. If you hadn’t looked at it for so goddamned long, we wouldn’t have met,” Shea and Sasha both laughed, and as Shea rested her hand on Sasha’s shoulder, Sasha just looked at her.
Sasha had already heard the sound of Shea’s laugh, but being able to watch her laugh added an entirely new dimension to the experience. When Shea laughed, she’d throw her head back, tossing her long black curls. Her eyes would scrunch, and the light caught on her cheeks.
God. Every part of her shone and sparkled. Just existing near her made Sasha feel strangely buoyant and pleasant. It felt like she got to witness someone massively special and joyous and who, in turn, made Sasha feel special herself.
“What are you thinking about?”
“How beautiful you are when you laugh. And smile. And do most anything.”
“I like the way you talk, Sasha”
“That I do it about you?”
“No, bitch!” Shea says, giggling, “Your voice and the phrases you use. I love it. I feel like I’m listening to a hot, hipster audiobook. You don’t think that’s creepy, right?”
“I don’t think it’s creepy. I don’t think I can think ill of you at all right now”
Shea laughs again.
“I like you a lot Sasha,” Shea says. Suddenly, she stands up and grabs Sasha’s hand. “Dance with me?” Shea asks, nodding her head to the masses of people on the main dance floor.
Sasha eagerly followed Shea, and as the lights and alcohol blurred the edges of her vision and the writhing bodies bumped into her own, Sasha couldn’t look away from the vision of Shea’s beautiful hand clutching her own. That beautiful, warm grasp. Even in a sea of stimulation, the only thing that mattered was Shea’s hand.
After making it to an open spot, Shea dropped Sasha’s hand and they both began to dance.
When Sasha danced, she danced mostly with her hands and upper body, in a style some might call “stilted” and the more charitable might call “interpretive”. Sasha liked to claim that it came from a slightly limited range of motion caused by a pencil skirt. While that might have been somewhat true, Sasha preferred not to dwell on the fact that she had turned up going to parties in exchange for spoken word poetry nights.
Shea, meanwhile, danced like water. She kicked, jumped, and shook, but each movement blended into each other. Her braids had been tucked into a ponytail, but still swished back and forth as she moved, emphasizing her movements.
What changed?
The music didn’t slow down.
Maybe it was Shea saying that she “loved Sasha’s ‘dad dancing’”.
Maybe it was the lights shifting to an electric blue color that shone on Shea’s hair and skin, making her look like an ethereal vision.
Maybe it was Shea pausing from her dance to touch the assortment of pins on Sasha’s blazer, holding each one up to the light and pausing to read it.
Maybe nothing changed.
But Sasha felt so wonderful, so magical that she threw her arms around Shea’s neck. The music still pounded and shook her bones, but all Sasha knew was that she wanted to see Shea’s face. Wanted to feel it.
Lifting her hand from Shea’s neck, Sasha traced Shea’s cheekbones. The curve of her ear. Her smile lines.
Shea wrapped her arms around Sasha’s waist, rubbing small circles with her thumb, delicate circles that Sasha could feel through her skirt. As Sasha gently ran her thumb along Shea’s cheek, she saw Shea’s eyes flutter as she let out a large sigh.
Sasha felt like Henri Matisse’s Icarus. So obviously plummeting at lightspeed into this love, but for a brief moment in the unknown, the uncertain, silhouetted against the sky.
Wingless and among yellow stars. The only aspect of her being, a red, glowing heart. A brief moment of glory.
Shea’s sparkling eyes.
A brief moment.
Shea’s smile.
A brief moment.
They had danced around it long enough.
Sasha leaned upward, catching Shea’s lips with her own. Her hands moved downward, clutching Shea’s back, pressing Shea towards her. Shea sighed, and Sasha could feel the corners of her lips move upwards.
“Why?” Sasha whispered breathily onto Shea’s lips. “Why me? Why not anyone else?”
“Because no one else blushes so profusely at my words in their ears. No one else wants to talk about the philosophical implications of French impressionism on gender roles. No one else is a beautiful, unique, unibrowed and pin-covered woman who looks at my mural like it’s the greatest piece they’ve ever seen and then looks at me like I’m, like I’m some kinda magical being.
I wanna witness you, Sasha. I wanna witness you all the time.”
As they held each other close, Sasha put her racing mind to rest. Resting her head on Shea’s shoulder, she felt the music and sweat of the club gently fade away, replaced by the sound of two beating hearts.
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* — stats — andrew tick !
* — basics !
full name: andrew jalen tick. nickname(s): don’t like any variations of andrew. his step-dad gets away with drew every now and then. age: twenty - five. date of birth: november first. place of birth: carina, north carolina. gender: male. pronouns: he / him. sexual orientation: gay. level of education: high school graduate.
* — physical !
tattoos: a couple stick-and-pokes; a spraycan on his left hip and a moth on his right. one of keith haring’s “dog and ufo” on his left forearm. piercings: both ears pierced, septum pierced. once had a lip ring, but he no longer wears it. notable features: bleached out hair. surprising height. weakness(es): low bmi, little upper body strength. scar(s): faint scar on his right cheek.
* — domestic !
occupation: artist. unemployed. residence: staying at one of the cheap bayside motels in delphinus heights. social class: lower middle class. parents: gina fox, age 52, parent he’s on the best terms with. remarried to his step-father, who he thinks fondly of. dawson tick, age 55, estranged from andrew at this point. siblings: vanessa kaufman, his younger step sister, as good as blood in his book. extended family: three maternal aunts across the states that he sees on holidays, or is he’s passing through their towns.
* — personality !
positive traits: innovative, self-reliant, passionate. negative traits: impetuous, self-serving, prickly. myers-briggs ( x ): entp, the debater. temperament ( x ): choleric. moral alignment: chaotic good. horoscope: scorpio. hogwarts house: slytherin.
* — favorites !
movie: rebel without a cause. tv show: freaks and geeks. book: scott pilgrim’s precious little life. drink: green tea lemonade. food: literally any pizza. animal: elephants color: yellow. song: nights by frank ocean. artist: sufjan stevens. celebrity crush: oscar isaac.
* — impressions !
first impression: he’s too confident. andrew comes off as cool but approachable, he’s easy going on the surface and has a devil-may-care thing about him. self impression: andrew sees himself as a rolling stone she likes to think he has an air of mystery about him. lover impression: again, a little cocky, but in a much more playful way.
* — et cetera !
turn ons: a nice smile, a sense of humor, good taste in music and art. turn offs: uptight attitude, being a fucking downer. drink/drugs/smoke: yes/weed/yes. dominant hand: left. clean or messy: messy. early bird or night owl: night owl. hobbies or special talents: painting counts!
* — QUESTIONNAIRE !
01. where was your character born? what brought them to carina bay? what do they like most about the town?
andrew was born in carina bay. his father’s family was local, but his mother is from virginia. she moved to carina for work. once she set up her life here, she knew she’d never leave. he likes the energy of the town, the natural ebb and flow of activity. but it’s not enough to keep him around half the time.
02. who are your character’s friends and family? who do they surround themselves with? who are the people your character is closest to?
anymore, he doesn’t have many close friends. he has surface level pals he’s met around town, but no one he’s exceptionally close to. since he’s estranged from his father, his mother, step-father, and step-sister are the only immediately family he claims and he considers himself closest to them. he gets on well with luca and cassie too. once upon a moon his answer would have been myles but #shithappens.
03. what is your character’s biggest fear? who have they told this to? who would they never tell this to? why?
he loves to travel. he really does. but his biggest fear is that he’ll never find a reason to settle down. he wants to find that magical place or person or thing that makes him feel like he has a spot in the grand scheme of life and the universe. but he’s unsure if he ever will, so his fear is not travelling forever, but doing so unanchored. he would never tell this to anyone, he’s got an image to uphold.
04. has your character ever been in love? had a broken heart?
perhaps once. but he isn’t sure anymore. over time, memories fade. feelings change. he wouldn’t say his heart was straight up broken by myles, but losing their friendship did have an effect on him. myles, again, was once the person andrew felt closest to, and not having that connection hasn’t been easy. but, ultimately, he knows its his own fault
05. your character is doing intense spring cleaning. what is easy for them to throw out? what is difficult for them to part with? why?
he packs light for his travels. he doesn’t have much to throw out. easiest to part with is extra weight, clothes and objects that don’t have any meanings to him beyond their intended purpose. hardest are sketches and notes passed in high school. he’s a paper hoarder for sure.
06. it’s saturday at noon. what is your character doing? give details.
he likes to spend his saturdays with his sketchbook at the pier. he’s been doing caricatures lately, to have a little walking around money, but other than doing those, he’s probably just doodling, or taking down ideas for later.
07. what is one strong memory that has stuck with your character since childhood?
he has a startling clear memory of being young and looking for seashells on the beach to rearrange into shapes in the sand. it’s random, there isn’t much significance to it. it’s just a nice afternoon he spent on the beach with his mom.
08. what is in your character’s refrigerator right now? on their bedroom floor? their nightstand? in their wastebasket?
his fridge is practically empty: he keeps some small snacks and energy drinks to get him through the nights. his nightstand has the motel standards, a little notepad and a bible along with his own stowed away items, some loose pens, brushes, and hard candies.
09. what is something that upsets your character? where do they go when they’re upset? on the opposite end, what is something that makes them laugh out loud? where or when are they at their happiest?
it takes a lot to genuinely ruffle him anymore. but andrew’s mostly upset by people who try to stand as obstacles. he gets frustrated with not having the control in situations and more than likely, he takes that out on the people involved in the situation. when he’s upset, he usually just goes for a walk with his sketchbook and ends up where he ends up. he’s at his happiest and laughing the most with his family, he feels that they see him for his truest self, and force him to drop his tough guy daredevil facade.
10. when your character thinks of their childhood kitchen, what smell do they associate with it? why?
the most his childhood kitchen was used were the years his aunts came in around the holidays, so, most of what he remembers is their cooking. what stands out the most are the baked apples and honey cakes, they’d make his mouth water still today.
#this is the exact one from carina i'm just posting it to make myself feel valid.#( andrew tick. )#( stats. )
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* — task 2 — stats — andrew tick !
* — basics !
full name: andrew jalen tick. nickname(s): don’t like any variations of andrew. his step-dad gets away with drew every now and then. age: twenty - five. date of birth: november first. place of birth: carina, north carolina. gender: cis male. pronouns: he / him. sexual orientation: gay. level of education: high school graduate.
* — physical !
tattoos: a couple stick-and-pokes; a spraycan on his left hip and a moth on his right. one of keith haring’s “dog and ufo” on his left forearm. piercings: both ears pierced, septum pierced. once had a lip ring, but he no longer wears it. notable features: bleached out hair. surprising height. weakness(es): low bmi, little upper body strength. scar(s): faint scar on his right cheek.
* — domestic !
occupation: artist. unemployed. residence: staying at one of the cheap bayside motels in delphinus heights. social class: lower middle class. parents: gina fox, age 52, parent he’s on the best terms with. remarried to his step-father, who he thinks fondly of. dawson tick, age 55, estranged from andrew at this point. siblings: one younger step-sibling, as far as he knows. they get on well, he considers them as good as blood. extended family: three maternal aunts across the states that he sees on holidays, or is he’s passing through their towns.
* — personality !
positive traits: innovative, self-reliant, passionate. negative traits: impetuous, self-serving, prickly. myers-briggs ( x ): entp, the debater. temperament ( x ): choleric. moral alignment: chaotic good. horoscope: scorpio. hogwarts house: slytherin.
* — favorites !
movie: rebel without a cause. tv show: freaks and geeks. book: scott pilgrim’s precious little life. drink: green tea lemonade. food: literally any pizza. animal: elephants color: yellow. song: nights by frank ocean. artist: sufjan stevens. celebrity crush: oscar isaac.
* — impressions !
first impression: he’s too confident. andrew comes off as cool but approachable, he’s easy going on the surface and has a devil-may-care thing about him. self impression: andrew sees himself as a rolling stone she likes to think he has an air of mystery about him. lover impression: again, a little cocky, but in a much more playful way.
* — et cetera !
turn ons: a nice smile, a sense of humor, good taste in music and art. turn offs: uptight attitude, being a fucking downer. drink/drugs/smoke: yes/weed/yes. dominant hand: left. clean or messy: messy. early bird or night owl: night owl. hobbies or special talents: painting counts!
* — questionnaire !
01. where was your character born? what brought them to carina bay? what do they like most about the town?
andrew was born in carina bay. his father’s family was local, but his mother is from virginia. she moved to carina for work. once she set up her life here, she knew she’d never leave. he likes the energy of the town, the natural ebb and flow of activity. but it’s not enough to keep him around half the time.
02. who are your character’s friends and family? who do they surround themselves with? who are the people your character is closest to?
anymore, he doesn’t have many close friends. he has surface level pals he’s met around town, but no one he’s exceptionally close to. since he’s estranged from his father, his mother, step-father, and step-sister are the only immediately family he claims and he considers himself closest to them. he gets on well with luca and cassie too. once upon a moon his answer would have been myles but #shithappens.
03. what is your character’s biggest fear? who have they told this to? who would they never tell this to? why?
he loves to travel. he really does. but his biggest fear is that he’ll never find a reason to settle down. he wants to find that magical place or person or thing that makes him feel like he has a spot in the grand scheme of life and the universe. but he’s unsure if he ever will, so his fear is not travelling forever, but doing so unanchored. he would never tell this to anyone, he’s got an image to uphold.
04. has your character ever been in love? had a broken heart?
perhaps once. but he isn’t sure anymore. over time, memories fade. feelings change. he wouldn’t say his heart was straight up broken by myles, but losing their friendship did have an effect on him. myles, again, was once the person andrew felt closest to, and not having that connection hasn’t been easy. but, ultimately, he knows its his own fault
05. your character is doing intense spring cleaning. what is easy for them to throw out? what is difficult for them to part with? why?
he packs light for his travels. he doesn’t have much to throw out. easiest to part with is extra weight, clothes and objects that don’t have any meanings to him beyond their intended purpose. hardest are sketches and notes passed in high school. he’s a paper hoarder for sure.
06. it’s saturday at noon. what is your character doing? give details.
he likes to spend his saturdays with his sketchbook at the pier. he’s been doing caricatures lately, to have a little walking around money, but other than doing those, he’s probably just doodling, or taking down ideas for later.
07. what is one strong memory that has stuck with your character since childhood?
he has a startling clear memory of being young and looking for seashells on the beach to rearrange into shapes in the sand. it’s random, there isn’t much significance to it. it’s just a nice afternoon he spent on the beach with his mom.
08. what is in your character’s refrigerator right now? on their bedroom floor? their nightstand? in their wastebasket?
his fridge is practically empty: he keeps some small snacks and energy drinks to get him through the nights. his nightstand has the motel standards, a little notepad and a bible along with his own stowed away items, some loose pens, brushes, and hard candies.
09. what is something that upsets your character? where do they go when they’re upset? on the opposite end, what is something that makes them laugh out loud? where or when are they at their happiest?
it takes a lot to genuinely ruffle him anymore. but andrew’s mostly upset by people who try to stand as obstacles. he gets frustrated with not having the control in situations and more than likely, he takes that out on the people involved in the situation. when he’s upset, he usually just goes for a walk with his sketchbook and ends up where he ends up. he’s at his happiest and laughing the most with his family, he feels that they see him for his truest self, and force him to trop his tough guy daredevil facade.
10. when your character thinks of their childhood kitchen, what smell do they associate with it? why?
the most his childhood kitchen was used were the years his aunts came in around the holidays, so, most of what he remembers is their cooking. what stands out the most are the baked apples and honey cakes, they’d make his mouth water still today.
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Health Care Spotlight: Kendall
This is a segment of the blog that I am incredibly excited to introduce to all of you.
In this post and in similar posts once a month, I will be featuring individuals who desperately need their health care to survive.
I am a few days behind, but I had no idea exactly what it would take to put a post like this one together and, now that I know, I will be more prepared.
So, let’s get started.
This is Kendall.
Kendall loves his dog, Penny.
Kendall is happily married.
Kendall enjoys playing video games, watching TV, reading science fiction and spending time at home. Though, when he was younger, he enjoyed having many friends, now that he is older, he enjoys the company of smaller, more intimate groups. He would choose the comfort of his own home over the noise and chaos of a bar or club.
“I'm an optimistic and positive person,” he says,”but you might say I have a short fuse. I'm very much a Libra and have always identified with the balance and the need to help and lead. I've always been a leader, and frankly I don't do well in subordinate positions. But I make do.”
Kendall attended college and studied political science, stage management and acting. Finances eventually got in the way, however, and he did not complete his degree. Though he tells himself (and others) that he will get back into it one day, “I don't know. More and more I don't see it as worth it, as expensive as everything is. Anyways, my husband has an MBA so we'll hopefully be fine. I really enjoy theatre but it's been years since I felt the drive or need to work backstage. It might be a hobby I used to have that I hold on to, despite not truthfully being interested anymore. ”
Side note: I feel you, Kendall. This is a fascinating phenomenon for me - the way humans hold on to things that used to bring them joy whether they continue to do so or not. The nostalgia and the fascination there once was combine to make us feel like the object is still providing us with everything we need from it. Yet, we leave work, rehearsal, class, etc. some days feeling empty and wonder why. I struggle with this often. I imagine we all do - as, in some cases, we have identified ourselves using the object to describe who we are. I love that Kendall describes himself here as someone who loves theatre, but admits openly that it may not be him anymore. It’s beautiful and honest.
This is Kendall.
Kendall was diagnosed with HIV on January 3rd, 2014.
This is Kendall.
“I've definitely come to terms with it. It wasn't too difficult, because I've always had a very solid support system. My friends, family, and romantic relationship. My boyfriend at the time I was diagnosed was toxic and hellish towards the end, but he was always supportive of me and my diagnosis.
I was actually diagnosed at first at C-Street at CUPHD mobile testing facility. Since that is a rapid test, once it came up positive, I had to get the real test - the 2 week wait test.”
“So after I waited two weeks, they called me, and I avoided going in. Honestly, I spent the next two weeks reading about people who are inherently immune to HIV, some super-Aryan people in Europe or something. I always thought of my heritage as super white and super English, so I'd convinced myself I was gonna get rich - that my blood was the cure. It was dumb but it was better than sitting there stewing for two weeks.”
Kendall avoided receiving his diagnosis for two more weeks. Laws prohibit doctors from giving you your diagnosis over the phone since some patients react - understandably - rash upon receiving it. When he finally went in to get his diagnosis, he was lucky enough to be accompanied by his sister as well as by his best friend.
Fast-forward to four months later - he began Anti-Retroviral Treatment (ARV). Though his numbers weren’t bad, he and his doctor decided it was best to avoid waiting.
He took Atripla first. Atripla is known for being very good when you are first starting treatment. However, after prolonged use, it can cause damage in your liver and kidneys. So, three years later, in 2017, Kendall switched to Odefsey. Both drugs can have crazy side-effects - including dizziness, crazy dreams, weight loss/gain, etc.
In regards to these side effects, Kendall states that he has been very lucky, “ Thankfully I only ever experienced one side effect once. I woke up one night, around 2am, and I felt like I'd been spinning for hours - I was so dizzy I fell back onto the bed. Honestly, I woke up the next morning and thought it was a dream, and it was not a negative experience, but I'm glad it's been the only occurrence of any side effects.”
Other long term side-effects can include losing fat in the arms and legs, gaining weight in the upper back, harming organs later in life and heart-disease. While Kendall states that he worries about these side-effects as well, he has enough on his plate already. Aside from being HIV+, he also takes medication for high blood pressure and wears a mask when he sleeps so that he doesn’t stop breathing (a common treatment for those who have sleep apnea).
“I'm basically a mess, but I also rarely get sick otherwise - no flu, colds, headaches - maybe because, after so many years of ARVs, my T-Cells are very high. Who knows.”
Odefsey (a daily perscription) costs Kendall $88 a day - $2640 a month. He stated that Atripla was cheaper, but not by much. This medication treats merely one of his afflictions.
As part of his treatment, Kendall sees his doctor once a year and must have blood work completed at least 11 days beforehand, “and it has to be Monday through Thursday, which sometimes I forget, and then have to reschedule.” The blood work is particularly expensive - costing him right around $400. Usually his insurance has covered this, but there have been a couple instances where he has paid this bill out of pocket.
He also sees his case worker at CUPHD once a year.
Unfortunately, Kendall’s current employer does not offer insurance, so his coverage is through the AHCA - costing him roughly $275 a month. This is the cheapest plan with the worst coverage. The upside is that paying for this coverage allows him to be eligible for various grants, co-pays and other helpful resources when it comes to his meds, visits and lab-work.
If he is able to get his hands on better insurance, Kendall states that CUPHD is capable of covering his monthly premiums. Unfortunately, they won’t cover the $275 that he is paying now, because it is “basically worthless.”
Despite all of this information that Kendall is constantly swimming in, there are bright spots.
One of his close friends posted a GoFundMe for Kendall last month during the lapse between his insurance coverage (he left one job and his coverage through the AHCA didn’t go live until January). Not only had his assistance programs expired, but he had also waited too long to receive assistance from his case worker - someone he had just switched to. During this time, he purchased about $1200 worth of Odefsey over the course of two weeks - going in every two or three days and hoping his coverage would kick in soon.
His parents, grandparents and cousins all donated to the GoFundMe to help Kendall purchase a supply of his daily medicine. Now that his meds have been covered, he has used the GoFundMe money to purchase an extra month’s supply of them, so that he is always a month ahead in case the same situation should occur. He is incredibly grateful to the friends and family who supported him in his time of need - and every day.
A figure from Kendall’s Walgreens bills states that the insurance he had between January and September of last year saved him $32,468.93. Yes, for those of you in the back (over the course of an entire year) that coverage would save him the cost of some American’s yearly salary.
Kendall’s husband takes PrEP (Truvada) daily to prevent being infected. He also has a yearly appointment at CUPHD. His pills cost him $66.80 per day - $2004.90 per month.
This is Kendall.
Kendall’s health is very important to him. On one of his arms, he has seven tattoos that are dedicated to his health conditions.
“Most of my tattoos on my health arm are by Keith Haring. He died of complications from AIDS and was a big activist in the fight against HIV/AIDS in NYC in the 80s. He died in 1990.”
He is in the process of planning more.
In fact, when I first asked him about his HIV diagnosis, he stated “I was diagnosed 1/3/14. I have it tattooed on my arm. Wait. No I don't. Just typed that, looked, and saw it was a lie. Well, I will have it tattooed on me.”
And, remember Penny?
She was a big part of Kendall’s coming to terms with his diagnosis. He adopted Penny the November before he was diagnosed. During this time, Kendall stated that he would often be at home, feeling alone but that Penny would come around and always made him feel better - feel loved.
This is Kendall.
This is the life of someone who, without insurance, would be choosing between living and dying every day.
This is Kendall.
Kendall has a right to coverage that will keep him alive and well.
This is Kendall.
Those of you who have been following my running might know that I have a GoFundMe as well. It is dedicated to raising money for Planned Parenthood - a company that provides affordable healthcare to those in need. The link is listed below. Please donate to help protect our right to affordable healthcare.
No one should have to choose between health and life.
http://www.gofundme.com/katie-runs-2018
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