#these guys are both unhinged

[whump-in-the-closet]

Merry Whump of May

@themerrywhumpofmay

May 20th- “A taste of your own medicine.”

[Zip ties | bleeding out | Office]

***

(tw: interrogation, stabbing, bleeding out, death mention)

“How would you like a taste of your own medicine, hm?”

Flashlight in their face. Not very nice. The voice in their head, breath hot against their face is even less pleasant.

They squirm, testing the zip ties around their wrists. They don't give. Of course not. Squirming doesn’t help. If anything it makes things worse.

No, no, no, can’t deal with worse. Need to make things better.

Sunflower-seeds-in-their-teeth-better.

Smiling-as-they-stab-the-knife-in-deeper-better.

Humming-a goodbye-as-the-weight-of-a-corpse-collapses-against-the-blade-better.

Their mouth is dry and scratchy. Wonderful. It hurts to talk. “Do you have any painkillers?”

They’re slapped. Sharply.

“Is that a no, then? How was I supposed to know what kind of medicine you were offering?”

The only response is a growl. At least they aren’t the only ones pissed off.

“Enough.”

“Ah, good, can I go now–” They stop as they catch a glint of steel. Metal. Sharp. Painful. Oh, no no no no please don’t–

Fabric rips.

Skin rips with it. Probably a couple organs too.

Blood. A lot of it.

“This was a brand new suit.” They really have the worst luck.

Their captor doesn’t seem to find this funny because she stabs them again.

An explosion of blood.

They double over, coughing. They don’t like this medicine very much.

What am I? Your personal fucking pinata?

There’s a mechanical whirring from somewhere behind them. They don’t want to know what she has planned next.

They attempt to use their charm and people skills to get out of this mess.

“So, do we know each other?”

Their captor holds up a newly sharpened pencil. People skills did not work.

“You wouldn’t remember. But I’ll help—” she spins the pencil, almost gleeful with her new found weapon, “—refresh your memory.”

Oh, come on, someone watched way too many action movies as a kid.

[royalarchivist]

Luzu: Yeah, you know, I told people that I would happily make some dictionaries so that you guys have expressions to use, like you can have a book in your inventory that you open to have like basic Spanish stuff, I'm gonna mess his one, like his -

Phil: Oh yes, please.

Luzu: - book up, and I'm gonna make all like, have no meaning.

Phil: Please give him like, a - a silly book, a - give him a silly one.

Luzu: Yeah. How do I pronounce his name, Wilbur, or Wilb? Or Wil?

Phil: You got it right the first time! Yup, it's Wilbur.

Luzu: Oh yeah? Alright.

Phil: Yup yup! Or just Wil. Either - either works.

Luzu: I wanna have to find a way to, yeah, have a cold revenge. Like, he - he may be laughing today, and, "heehee, haha!" we did like this small joke, and in 20 days I'm gonna destroy everything that he loves in this server.

[ashleyloob]

one of my close Internet friends went to uni with human pet guy and my life has never been the same when I found out

[mysterycitrus]

dear diary how do u write from jason todd’s perspective without sounding sincerely unhinged

[amazingdeadfish]

Day Seven: Love Language

[scribz-ag24]

It's still so unbelievable to me how extreme Dusknoir can be. He's a guy who will impulsively decide to rescue a pair of explorers he has never met for no reason (except maybe some superficial after-the-fact justification like "oh this will make me look even nicer", which doesn't count) and his first instinct when his temporal ally is about to get hit by falling ice is taking the blow for him, but he still lies and manipulates with ease, relishes flaunting his victory over his enemies at the cost of efficiency, decides to let the planet rot and decay as long as he keeps his own life and plans a horrible scheme where he will murder someone and puppet his corpse to attack his closest friends.

what wanting to survive does to a mf i guess.

[violet-moonstone]

Heather 😍

Heather asserting dominance

[varpusvaras]

Fox, in some social gathering he, Bail and Breha were invited to: So...I know I'm here because I'm married to these two, and Cody is here because Kenobi is here, but why are you here again?

Rex: Because these two are here *points to Anakin and Padmé*

Fox: Are you guys like. You know.

Rex: ..........honestly I am not sure, but at this point, I'm in way too deep to leave

Fox: What do you mean by that?

Rex: Observe

Luke and Leia, running up to Padmé: Mom! Can we go and-

Padmé: Oh, you need to ask your father

Luke and Leia, running to Anakin: Dad! Can we go and-

Anakin: Oh, um. Did you already ask your mom?

Luke and Leia: Yes, and she said to ask you!

Anakin: Okay, uh. Go ask Rex if you can go?

Luke and Leia, running up to Rex: Rex! Can we go and-

Rex: No, you'll die and break your legs. Now sit down for a moment and have some juice

Fox: ....oh.

Rex: Yeah.

Fox: This might be a problem

Rex: You don't say

[silvyavan]

Public Service Announcement

Charlotte and Yami are beauty and the beast, yes, but it is CHARLOTTE who is the BEAST. She is the one who is cursed, and the one who causes an incident from said curse, and the one dependent on roses, and the one who is saved in the last minute by the beauty through understanding her.

Yami is the beauty, the man with a head as dense as a brick and tits as thick as pound cake. Put some respect in his name and stop making him the beast when he is, in fact, the beauty.

[pink-flame]

You're my neck of the, neck of the woods Leave you, babe, I never could Ginger and gestures of goodwill go forth, let go Of sorrow and sadness and spite I'm somebody taller tonight

Neck of the Woods - Maisie Peters

[according2thelore]

from a “would sam die for dean” poll one of my mutuals reblogged. i present to you,

sam winchester being more of an "oh well" guy:

like WHAT SHOW ARE THESE PEOPLE WATCHING I AM SO SCARED RN

[gthechangeling]

some stuff we could've had in The Dragon Republic but didnt and I wish we did

kitay and chaghan hating each other ON SIGHT. i believe from the bottom of my heart they spent the entire book trying to assassinate each other in increasingly covert ways

more rin and qara friendship!!!! we were so robbed tbh

quara and VENKA friendship!!!! archers!!!!

kitay and ramsa scheming together. idk it just makes sense, them being the only two not-shamans. besides i think ramsa's chaos would go well with kitay's big brilliant brain and by that i mean they would do horrible unspeakable things together and no one would be able to stop them <3

[pussysidon]

When I want to not be weird about something but I have literally never been normal about a piece of media in my life

[saturnniidae]

Modern AU Astrid would like rollerderby I think. She'd be on a team with Ruff and Heather. She'd be a blocker, along with Heather (you get to shove people) and I feel like Ruff would be a good jammer. The rest of their friends come to cheer them on at matches and even practice sometimes

Another great part of rollerderby is you get to pick a cool name for yourself! Heather literally already has the perfect one, "Heather the Unhinged" goes so unbelievably hard

Astrid would also do kickboxing. On the side. Also for their first date Hiccup takes her axe throwing in an attempt to woo her with something she enjoys. (Totally not so he can stare at her biceps while she throws.. what Totally Not. He's so unbelievably intimidated by her strength; he is head over heels) He thinks it's worth it even if he looks pathetic in comparison (it's okay tho she helps him out)

[bumblingbabooshka]

Harry Kim saying Naomi is lucky to be born on Voyager and that he would have given "anything" to have her life when he was a kid...

[coconut530]

WHAHAHAHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTT!?!