#these arent my ocs can i call it oc???

[heronoegg]

Hello again! This isn’t really a request, moreso a question or statement. I’m not exactly sure what their names are, but they’re both old students Aizawa used to teach. That one poodle looking girl and the one with puffy earrings and blue hair? Anyways, I just wanted to ask, have you ever drawn them before? I’m having kinda of a trip because I swear you have.

anyways, sorry to be a bother dude! Have a good day/night!

i've never drawn her before you may be thinking of someone else? idk why i haven't drawn them sooner honestly, i gotta work on her shape but i think she has some kind of snowflake quirk her eyes are very different nobody else has eyes like this

furry lady im down

I didn't know UA allowed this i draw Amajiki like this with a jacket under the school jacket it canonly can be done he looks like protoman from megaman

the rest i didn't wanna draw the bug that's to hard rn

[numberonetribble]

Stuck at my mom's house until the 27th, can't finish the comic I was working on until then :( here's a rough Cowboy!pinup sketch of Bumblebee and some Breakbee + Piston angst:

[dandyshucks-moving]

there's this one photo I've seen floating around a few times with the words "I wish we could've met as kids, you would've loved the softer me" and I think about it every now and then

so ... art ʅ(๑ ᷄ω ᷅ )ʃ

[smol-tired-binch-blog]

hate how im now at a point where im legit like kicking my legs and grinning like an idiot over fictional characters SEND HELP

[creaturefeaster]

Are their going to be any other wlw relationships besides brook and Samantha?

Michael's mothers! They're one of the first romantic couples I can remember making for the story, actually.

If we're talking "strictly identifying as women" relationships, aside from some pining there's not much else. Vindemia and Hamburger feel like they have something going on but I don't know if I'd call it a relationship. And I think I'd call Hamburger a burger before I'd call her a woman.

[ratislatis]

"a tribe of cats" like warrior cats. its a mind palace series. they destroyed my 13-year-old warrior cats obsession

[quietwingsinthesky]

thinking about even and jack meeting, because i think it would be hilarious. it’s not that flirtation goes completely over their head, it’s that anything that’s even slightly more complicated than ‘you’re pretty’ misses it’s mark because there are context clues they are not picking up on (autism) and innuendo they aren’t versed in at all (spaceship). which jack could obviously adapt to very quickly, i just think it would be funny for him to throw out something charming and just get sort of. squinted at.

[bee-ina-boat]

fuck it. giving my some of my ocs 'scary disorders' now because im petty as hell.

[ironunderstands]

I’m gonna brainstorm some Ratio angst ideas for my next fic (feel free to steal them originality isn’t real anyways)

also like all of these are Aventio related

One of his students calls a hit on him for failing them and he’s bleeding out in an alleyway, I actually thought of this one w the help of one of my mutuals (I don’t remember ur tumblr @ aeon of ladies forgive me) I was thinking he passes out thinking he dies, unbeknownst to him Aven saves him, and he wakes up in a hospital unable to do anything for like a few weeks because I think one of Ratio’s biggest fears is being vulnerable, or even just being forced to take a break

@jailgarden suggested this in my inbox actually (I promise I’ll respond to it later properly pookie), but Ratio getting overstimulated and being unable to use his mask/hide like normal. Oh I love this one but I’ll get into it more later

He gets yelled at by a group of his students and just kinda breaks down and gets embarrassed and it like goes viral AUGHH THAT WOULD HURT

Ampherous related angst- like he got kicked out/sent away, he can’t ever talk about being from there, who knows, but I’m just praying we get lore of him there and it’s SAD

ooh what if he gets turned into one of his statues for a while

beat the shit out of him in general like I need Ratio on the floor crying sobbing bones broken losing it begging for help tweaking out please GODD HES SUCH A GOOD TARGET FOR THAT BC HE HIDES HIS FEELINGS SO MUCH UGHH

Aventurine goes to someone else in the Intellgencia guild for help and Ratio questions his worth for the next 3,000 words ooh

he fails at an important task or procedure or something when on a mission with Aventurine and even if it’s not that consequential in terms of their goals, the look of disappointment on the others face kills him

tfw you make a character who’s self worth heavily depends on being useful feel useless

Nous straight up says fuck off I don’t need you or like one of the GS members mocks him (probably Herta or an oc) or basically he gets his intellect demeaned and he can’t actually argue against it so he just kinda flounders (bring up Aiden maybe?)

just incapacitate him in general, Ratio cannot handle that

MIND CONTROLLL OOOHH BUT HES AWARE OF WHAT HES DOIJG GODDDD YESSSS AND WHAT IF OFHERS AROUND HIM ARENT AND THEY THINK ITS REAL OH I NEED FO WRITE THIS HOLD UPPPPP

Alright this is all my sleep deprived brain can cook up for now so enjoy! I’m probably gonna end up writing the first and last ones because yes.

[0ketinha]

oc infodump!!! because i can!!!

for funsies i decided to quickly name and put in creation order (top left to right down) all my old and new stories

and ohmygod

btw this arent the names, just smth silly n quick w enough info

the oldest, 'magic n family issues', is from 2016/7, and the most recent is my favorite 'cunty evil youtuber' 🫶

'trolls but sadder', brotherhood au, was made with @ tea0w0stache

'wish but better' was made with @ crow-laroid and @ frogg-senpai

the rest is mine mine

some funfacts, all /srs

'magic n family issues' had 3 versions, two are the same-ish, but one was medieval themed, and the other was recent times themed. And the 3th version is so different, but u backed off n I'm back w the old medieval version

'magic n family issues' 3th version has a online web comic, it is incomplete, but it was called "antes sozinh*s" on tapas

'sapphy rats' is based of transformice, the lil mice game

'spirit n cult' was based on minecraft and creppypastas, like herobrine and null

'future vision butterfly effect' was based of a weird idea i had w bruno's powers, from encanto

'communism' is based on ratatouille rip-off, ratatoing

'hunter n beast' was based of a minecraft-smp ship, but shit happen and i cut any connection to the og

'trolls but sadder' was created bc i did a joke drawing of personality swap au w a ship i liked

'spider n cat' was initially a trolls spider verse au, but now are ocs and unrelated to trolls

'wish but better' was created in a hate-watch, love it

i just did 'minecraft storymode but better' because i watched kwite's 6 hours video playing it

i lov green, but i hated influencer arc before the 2 ep, but the lava prank made me make my beloved 'cunty evil youtuber' 🫶🫶🫶

[mcytblrconfessions]

I think CCs are allowed to be able to control what content is made of them. If a creator doesnt want people doing rpf (shipping or otherwise) of them then it should NOT be that hard for people to not make rpf, even when there is a 0% chance they may see it. No, the creator is not your friend but they ARE something called a person who deserves the basic decency of having boundaries respected even if they arent there to see it.

Sometimes you shouldnt do something you want to do because it is against a persons very reasonable boundary and thats okay, you arent evil for wanting to do it, just dont. If there is a reason you cant stop yourself then maybe at least change the names (completely or just the spelling) and call them OCs.

however if the creator is genuinely fine with rpf as long as they dont see it then thats chill, they are a grown ass adult who can decide their boundaries for themselves. Write about that mcyt going to the supermarket or whatever rpf writers write about. I want to play a CYOA fanfic of my fav MCYT. Also normalizing simply asking a CC if they are fine with RPF, its not weird its the Correct Way To Go About Things.

okay but albert einstein said rpf was fine

[deathbringerdragon]

In a specifically goober mood today so time to info dump about my second monkey wrench oc that yall haven't heard about yet.

This is them. They don't have a name yet. Tbh idk if they're fully/truly osteon or not. But since there's so little info on osteon biology, I just call them an osteon.

The pictures are just a hosposh of all of the in work progress screenshots I've been posting in the oc fan servers I'm in. So some of these have sections that are out of date to the current version with the rest up to date

Now for some of the lore that ive posted in said servers.

so i've had the idea that my osteon oc was friends with JB before either of them became infected.

what their relationship was like exactly im not sure. since we know literally NOTHING about jb was like or what he did or Anything before infection, other than what he looks like.

alls i know is that they were at least close.

and- like-

pretty much my oc has been there since Day One for JB since becoming infected and a pirate.

JB went off and became an infected pirate first. Then came back as asked my oc if they were willing to take the chance and go with him.

Cuz right before JB had left, my oc had told him that they dont care what he does, they'll chase him down and find him no matter what so they can play video games together. And then while JB was gone, some incident happened with him that made him question if what his friend from before said was actually true. Maybe some cruel pirate or the like broke JB down emotionally and more or less said "Someone like you is going to die alone, abandoned by everyone you thought were your friends, and betrayed by those closest to you" because he was infected.

So thats why JB went back to find my oc cuz, he just needed the confirmation that what the other pirate said Wasnt true (cuz remember, this is like, Right after jb became a pirate. so he's still somewhat in the "normal dude" mentality)

Wanted to more or less test his closest friend to see if they would be scared of him or not cuz of his infection/how he looks.

And so anyways he pretty much corners my oc and is like "*You said you'd chase me down wherever i go. So, now that ya see what im like now. Are you still willin' t' keep that promise?"*

And after a long beat of silence, my oc just goes "You should know what the answer is. I dont care what you become. A monster, a killer. I'll just become the same thing so we can still be together"

and HHFHGHDNNFDGH they're just friends i swear-

ANYWAYS SO-

after that whole situation (cuz like, the actual scenes in my head were, intense. like. Serious character moments)

my oc joins JB and becomes a part of his crew, and pretty much right-hand man.

the OTHER idea i had, and the original idea. Was that my Oc was actually originally a rival plague walking pirate, who after several encounters with JB and his crew, and having the whole "Are they/arent they flirting" type of rivalry with him, they decide to join his crew, and become close but volatile friends. like. both of them are like "I never gotta question if they have my back in a battle. But i dont trust a single fucking piece of food they give me cuz idk what they might've put in it" kind of friends. and its hilarious.

For a long time i was really unsure which idea i wannted to go with cuz like. on one hand, i absolutely love the back and forth these two dumbass assholes would have if they became friends after being rivals forever.

but at the same time i also really like the undying loyalty/closeness of the idea of the two having been friends since the Start.

in the end, I decided to go with them being friends from the beginning. But since my original idea was for them to meet after, they still have bits of that original idea mixed in to their relationship.

BUT EITHER WAY-

no matter what.

Yall see how broke open their skull is in the sketches i've been posting?

Yea.

their skull wasnt broke open like that in the beginning

[aredeemantagonist]

"Do you really really really want to? I'm a psycho-psychopath!!"

Hiya!! I'm… well I go by a lot of names!!

Most commonly used ones are: - Antagonist/Antag (Mostly used online/amongst my general mutuals + followers!!) - Kris - N - Jack - Michael - Atsushi - Vic - Xavier - Any of my kin names!!

I also go by Mercutio and nicknames derived from that, but please ask me before using that name for me, since I'd prefer if only people who are close to me call me Mercutio or Tio

My pronouns are it/void/gut/gore/rot/pop/he!! No They/Them or She/Her pretty please!!

I am taken x3!!! My Queerplatonic partner (and my everything) is @the-fallen-collective ( #meri jaan <3 on this blog!!) My partner is @theonlyrealdazaiosamusblog ( #my dear <3 on this blog!!)

My interests: - BSD - FNAF + Afton Family Lore - Creepypasta - Laceygames - The Amazing Digital Circus - My OCs + Lore - Bendy and The Dark Revival + Bendy and The Ink Machine - The Disasterous Life of Saiki K - Assassination Classroom - Art - Writing - Classic Literature - Palaye Royale - Green Day - My Chemical Romance - Psychology - OC Angst (/jk… or am I?)

18+ users can interact and DM as long as you aren’t icky and comfy with the fact that i am a minor :3

DNIs: - Bad people in general - General DNIs (homophobes, transphobes, misogyonists, etc etc) - Radqueers - Pro-contact - Zoophiles, Pedophiles, etc etc - [Pro] Endogenic systems - Anti-recovery blogs (for EDs, S/H, anything) - NSFW + smut blogs - MDNI blogs - Anti-alterhumanity

MY FRENDOS!!!!!! (tell me if you weren't cool with being @/ed ^^) @star-seeking-stray - big sister, who is INSANE /pos

@lemon-reef - baby sibling, pat pat pat pat pat pat

@valentinos-corner - baby sibling, all the hugs and squishes

@evvwenthome - baby sibling, picking you up and putting you in a bag

@offsetthedeath - parental figure

@icreatethingz - MY SON. BE NICE TO HIM OR ELSE.

@aesthetic-writer18 - HIHI LITERALLY ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS HIII

@paintedgrilledcheese - i ramble to them so… so much… frendo!!

@casinoownersigma - KIJI MY BIG BROTHER GRRR /pos

@trashlike - friend!! i am the evil feral gremlin child on faer shoulder telling them to make more blogs

@deeply-moonstruck - frendo!!! we yap about lore a lot

@arsonist-lullabye - this one is not normal about ango

@duckduckgoose-exe - goose

@smallpieceofcheese - unhinged mentor /pos

@sayuutoria - (ex?) wife. we keep getting married and divorced and married again

@agoodbookisalwaysgood - my bestie fr fr, matching pfps!!!!

@nottherealapollo - MY BIG BROTHER!!!!

(if you arent here do msg me and i'll add you!!! i have very bad memory so i forget a lot of things ;-;)

I fall under a bunch of alterhuman identities, ask me about them!!

MICHAEL AFTON FICTIONKIN, THIS IS MY HIGHEST ID, I AM NOT OKAY WITH DOUBLES UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.

common tags used on this blog:

#antagonist reblogs - i reblog random shit!! won’t always remember to tag though T^T

#antagonist rambles - my incessant yapping!!

#antagonist shitposts - i shitpost

#antagonist stims - self explanatory lmao

#antagonist doodles - my drawings!!

#antagonist wrote something - my fics!!

#antagonist yaps with friends - my chats with my friends!!

#antagonist yaps with anons - anon chats!!

#antagonist used a braincell - my thoughts. could be anything from shitposts to philosophy to maths!!

#antagonist vents - my vents, always check and block the tags pls!!

#antagonist is tired. - i am so so tired.

#antagonist laceyposts - what it says on the tin. i laceypost!

#antagonist is william afton - william afton posting

#man i love michael afton - michael afton posting

#antagonist raises the sun - i say good morning!

#antagonist travels to eep land - i say good night!

My sideblog for roleplaying can be found at: @antag--roleplays

[thewandererh]

ur art is awesome :]💛!! also it is! and also also i really love how architecture can invoke a feeling like that. just in design or in the context that it exists. can you tell i watch jacob geller X]?

on all my carrides to places i get to see tornado sirens. we have electronic ones here powered by solar-powered battery stuff. they look like this! second image is my favorite looking siren called the screamer. i accidentally made it my pfp on magma but im keeping it.

(1st image from Patch dot com, 2nd from Air Raids Siren Wiki) << ig that’s why they aren’t mass-used or ?? i think theyre cool :]

cloud oc fellas coming soon maybe! im on christmas break so i have a higher chance of gettin em posted. no promises tho. the lenticular cloud fella has a screamer siren detail in their design!

Hii!!! I have some interesting clouds to share :DD (these were taken a few days apart) thought you'd think they're cool :3

GASP!!!! those are so cool!!!! big ol sweeping water molecules <3. they look so awesome in carrides—the changing perspective and lighting wauaghh 😭. i usually take my photos while listening to music in the car (fav song to do this to might be marvellous clouds by cosmo sheldrake). speaking of, i saw some awesome clouds today too!!

[NO AUDIO] but then this is how they looked in the morning???? (i love you contrails -> verbrates clouds)

then smore from previous days :]. casually seeing god (slash the oc i’ve made that i use to explain these clouds for fun universe lore reasons lmao) above the kroger. there was cloud iridescence???? that day???

bonus roku homescreen clouds??? because they added clouds????? :0?? i just finished Big with my mom. questionable but cool!

[bucketspammer4life]

what i think your favorite PO boxer says about you

based on my biases and a year of experience (if you get mad over how i talked about your fave im going to turn you into a can of spam)

first time ive ever maxed out the tags

if i missed your fav tell me ‼️

doc louis - you have good taste and are starving for content about him, you really are a survivor

little mac - you either project onto him or just like calling him your son

glass joe - you have a thing for pathetic men (understandable tbh) and like calling him a wet cat since he fits that desc well

von kaiser - same thing as joe but add a hint of "oh no hes hot"

disco kid - you literally have no enemies i love you so much its not even funny (platonic)

king hippo - my god you are good at making up lore, how the fuck do you make a solid personality for a character that only roars and grunts

piston hondo - im 100% youre a saint, no hondo fan i met has ever been unpleasant to talk with

bear hugger - you either see him as a father figure or just think hes hot or (secret third option) you like making jokes about him being a disney princess, either way youre cool

great tiger - oh you have been here for a long time, literally every great tiger fan i know has been in the fandom since 7.000 BC or something, also youre prob really good at art

don flamenco - you use the word "cunty" on a daily basis or just like making fun of his stupid bald head, also yes he has eyeliner on 100%

aran ryan - you'd overthrow a goverment for this greasy rat, youre extremely extremely gay and/or neurodivergent and thats very good for you, you also like making him say lad and have had to go ankle deep in irish slang when making him speak in fanfics

soda popinski - ive never seen someone have soda as their fav, hes always 2nd place somehow so im just gonna go take a shot in the dark and say you like the color pink (mental gymnastics who??)

bald bull - you are a mixed bag, i gen cant put a finger on what kind of personality bull stans have but i can say you either find him hot or like making fun of him, maybe both

super macho man - least serious people ever with some traumatizing lore for the boxers & their own ocs, you prob make him say bogus 88268292 times in a sentence and i can respect that

mr sandman - ive only seen 2 (two ) ppl who have him as their fav and its kinda sad, youre starving for content of him and i wish you the best

birdie mac - hes your son (im not elaborating)

gabby jay - same thing as joe but you went over the top with liking dilfs

narcis prince - gay. gay gay homosexual gay. you went for the self obsessed blonde twink and you thought it wasnt obvious?? you fucking homosexual

heike kagero - youre 1000% queer, sorry to be a broken record about the gay thing but ur fav is literally a man with long hair & makeup that has to be some flavor of queer

hoy quarlow - you are/were another ancient punch out fan, you def shitpost a lot

bruiser bros - where are you??? ive gen never met a bruiser bros fan and its concerning like dude where did u go

texas mac - im sorry but you dont exist, ive never ever seen a texas mac fan, not even someone who mentions him

mad clown - you foul clownfucker. you have weird taste in characters you find hot and tbh im all here for it

masked muscle - same thing as texas mac but theres a slight chance you exist, if you do please show yourself

dragon chan - another punch out ancient fan, you probably were most active in 2013-2019 and kinda miss old shitposts and have either moved on or dont participate much anymore

spo aran - (this is mostly for Charlie but i have hope that theres some other spo aran fans out there) youre probably looking for other spo aran fans, goodpeed soldier, goodpeed

mask x - you arent getting away with this fuck you

[dollfaceksj]

BDSMSBSKFNSKSNKSD A DOSE OF WHATENDKSBSKSND DND FKDNDKDNSKSMS. CLOVER IM DKS SLSNSLSNS SKS. OC IS PISSING ME OFF. WTF IS WRONG WITH U IS A PERF TITLE BC WTF IS WRONG W HER !!! WHERE TF THEM PILLS COME FROM !!!!

this was written in a hurry. didnt feel like bullet point format would fit w this chapter. its not my best work but i hope yall get the feel i was trying to convey <3 (i won’t answer asks that spoil the story! gonna wait a few days so i don’t spoil the other readers who arent active currently!)

tw: body image issues(!!!) very deeply rooted issues that majority of women n ppl go thru. u have been warned. <3

wc: 2k ish

can’t afford love | myg (m) #20

⋆ TAGLIST ⋆

⇠ PREV. ⋆ MASTERLIST ⋆ NEXT ⇢

“Why the fuck do you have a dose of birth control pills?”

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆

The instance the words leave his lips, your heart free falls—no, plummets—to the pit of the Earth. This isn’t how it was supposed to go. He shouldn’t have found out this way.

You can’t bring the anxious quiver in your lips to stop when your mind travels at lightning speed trying to come up with a response. An explanation. An excuse. A lie.

But nothing comes out.

There’s nothing that you can bring yourself to say.

You messed up.

Are you even sorry? Or are you Just sorry you got caught?

Your eyes mindlessly stare at the box of pills like it’s going to vanish into thin air and you desperately want to witness it.

Doesn’t happen, though. The box stares back at you like it’s mocking you. Laughing in your face whilst being in his grasp.

He says your name. Quietly. Angrily. Repeats it when you don’t respond. Sounds like his voice is inside your head yet it also sounds like it’s coming from a galaxy that is seven million light years away.

After what seems like ages—which in reality was just a few seconds—you finally find the voice in the back of your throat that seemingly abandoned you in your time of need. “It’s an old box of pills and besides, why are you snoopi–”

“The label says you bought these two days ago. I’m not fucking stupid.” The words don’t just roll off his tongue, they launch out of his mouth like a spear. Penetrates your chest. The tip of said deadly spear nudges at your heart. Pokes it a little. Maybe makes it bleed a little, you’re not too sure.

Your panicked gaze slowly shifts to meet his angry eyes after he aggressively throws the box back onto your dresser.

“And if you’re going to berate me for snooping, someone has been trying to reach you. Called you 3 times. Just went to check to make sure it wasn’t an emergency.” He steps aside and nods towards your purse, which is now lying on its side, wide open with the contents spilled out. Your phone. Lip gloss. Wallet. Tube of Vaseline. 3 q-tips. Pack of gum. Few loose pain killer capsules.

You slowly start shaking your head and take a small step back, hoping to enlarge the distance between the two of you that you had tried to close just a few moments ago. “You won’t get it, so just–”

“No,” he says as he stomps to you, wrapping his hand around your bicep to stop you in your tracks. “You’re going to stop fucking lying to me. What the hell has been going on with you? Why are you acting like this?”

You try to wiggle your arm out of his grasp but he doesn’t let you go that easily. Tightens his grip. Enough to keep you still. Doesn’t hurt, though.

“Let me go.”

“No.”

“Let me g–”

He pulls you a little closer. Not in a romantic way. In a don’t-you-move-an-inch way. “Why won’t you just talk to me? I don’t understand why you keep pushing me away.”

Swallowing is starting to feel like sandpaper scratching its way down your esophagus. “Please, just– stop.”

He shakes his head, damp black hair swinging back and forth. Water dripping off his ends onto his shoulders like shiny pearls. They drop onto the fabric of his shirt, creating tiny little polka dots that are darker than the color of his shirt. “No, I won’t stop. You’re crossing the fucking line and you know it.”

He’s got you. That much is clear.

The silence that envelops around you is so prominent. Heavy. Wraps around you. Kind of like you’re a fetus in a pregnant belly.

Heat starts rising to your nose and cheeks, enough for you to realize that you’re starting to get emotional. Doesn’t take much longer for tears to start rolling down your cheeks.

Is there any point in hiding it now?

“You’ll never understand, Yoongi.” You shake your head as you bring your hand up. Wipe your nose with the back of your hand. Sniff softly.

His chest deflates as he heavily exhales. Feline eyes soften for a moment before his brows pinch together again. “Then make me understand.” His voice is still angry. Furious. Fuming.

“Nothing’s been the same for me, don’t you get it?” you shakily murmur, finally wiggling out of Yoongi’s grasp but not bothering yourself to get rid of the proximity between you two. Somewhere there’s comfort in it. “I know I shouldn’t have got those, I fucking know. But what you don’t know is what it feels like, okay?”

“Like what fee– What the hell are you even talking about?”

You cut him off. Burst out. “I feel disgusting, okay?”

His frown deepens. Eyes never leave you. The intensity on his features keeps you glued to the floor beneath your bare feet.

Before he can even respond, you continue with your outburst. “You don’t know what it’s like to have been the it-girl, to have been looked at and craved by any- and everyone and to now look and feel like this.”

It’s the truth. Yoongi was the king of your college because he had you. You made heads turn. You made guys fight their best friends. You made girls copy your clothes and makeup.

And now, here you are. Gotten rid of a full-length mirror in your bathroom because you hated seeing yourself naked.

Silence prevails once again. Just for a few moments that feel like centuries.

His expression doesn’t change. “Like what?”

“Ugly! Fat! Disgusting! Don’t you get it? My hair fell out, I have stretchmarks and scars all over my body, my tooth fell out at one point, my boobs are saggy, I don’t feel like taking care of myself. I burst into tears whenever I even remotely look at myself.”

You continue, pointing an accusatory finger at Yoongi and press it into his chest until he winces. “And don’t you fucking get it wrong. I fucking love Jun. I would do it all over again. I love being his mother and there’s nothing, absolutely nothing, that I’d change it for. But nothing prepared me for this. I haven’t gone out, I haven��t done anything. I bring Jun to daycare and pick him up and that’s it.”

You start backing away from him. Lips still quivering and brows furrowed in hurt.

As you approach your bed, you sink down. Bury your face in your palms. Sob a little. “But then we started being intimate again and you made me feel so beautiful. So wanted. I didn’t see it coming at all. Like everything I was seeing was a lie and everything you saw was the undeniable truth.”

You take a shaky breath to continue, “I meant it when I said I wanted the baby, that was never a lie. I wouldn’t lie about that. But as we kept having sex, you just…” you sniff, “made me so addicted to the way you made me feel. Made me feel so good physically but also like I was the most beautiful woman on the planet.”

Your eyes involuntarily shift up to meet his but in the instance you do, you regret it.

He’s frowning. Black eyes staring you down. Arms crossed over his chest. Looks like his mind is racing at a million miles a minute.

You drop your head again, hurt coating your voice. “I got scared. Scared that I’d get pregnant when I was finally starting to gain some of my self esteem back. Scared that I’d have to end our arrangement and we wouldn’t have that anymore. That I wouldn’t see you anymore.” You steal another glance at him before shifting your eyes back to the floor. His face is still the same. “I decided to get birth control the day before the award ceremony. I swear, I just wanted to delay the pregnancy only by a month or two. I just wanted to feel okay for a little while longer.”

It’s quiet. Really quiet. Your vision is blurry. Makes the floor look like a pool of blood thanks to the bordeaux rug. Makes his feet look like two hazy clouds.

You hold your heart when he finally speaks up. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

Ugh.

He doesn’t get it. He will never understand. Never.

“Because it’s humiliating! It’s embarrassing. I…” You exhale deeply in an attempt to compose yourself. “I’m ashamed, okay? The man that once saw me as the queen of the world has to see me come down to this? I didn’t want you to think of me as this… this pathetic, insecure woman. I didn’t want you to think ‘is this really what I once loved?’.”

The frown on his brows deepens. He kind of looks genuinely offended but still tries to keep the rest of his expression as neutral as possible. He’s failing, though.

Not possible when the line between his brows looks deeper than the Pacific Ocean. When his lips twitch like he wants to yell. When the veins in his neck look like they want to pop out of his skin.

You take a deep breath after the explanation. Hang your head down. Wipe your tears with your palms. Sniff quietly. Allow a soft sob to escape your system—which makes your frame tremble slightly.

All those days, weeks, months that you spent hating yourself. Mourning the you that once was. Mourning the Yoongi that loved you.

It all comes back to you in the form of tears. Sobs. Pain.

It’s so quiet that you hear him preparing to speak. The way his lips kiss his teeth. Clears his throat. He says your name. Once. Twice. Sighs when you don’t react.

Then he gently places your phone in your lap.

Mom

Missed call (5)

You sniff and wipe your nose clean. You clear your throat and dial her number. Hold your phone to your ear. Sigh softly before you let out a croaky, “hello?”

Yoongi turns his back to you. Sighs loudly as he runs his hands through his hair and tries to process all the information you just dumped on him.

Your mother sounds distressed on the other side of the line. “What the hell took you so long?”

“Sorry, I was in the showe–”

“Stop, stop,” your mom pauses. “You need to get to the hospital right now.”

Your heartbeat stutters in its rhythm. You shoot up from your seat right away. The back of your phone becomes slimy from the amount of sweat your palm has produced.

Goosebumps pop out of the upper layer of your skin. “What? The hospital? What happened?” The turmoil in your soul makes all of your limbs shiver.

Yoongi’s head snaps towards you. Horror is written all over his face. Lips parted in shock and body frozen in a state of panic.

“Just get here. I don’t want you to drive recklessly.”

You reach for your clothes as you tilt your head to your shoulder to keep the phone trapped as you slide your pants onto your legs. “Mom! I’m gonna drive recklessly now anyway! Tell me what happ– Oh, God. Is it Jun? Did something happen? What happ–”

Your mother cuts you off. “Stop it! Just get here.”

“Mom, I swear, you’re gonna tell me what the hell happened to Jun right no–”

A big pair of hands grab you by the shoulders and shake you out of your state of panic. At least they try to. Your eyes shift up, meeting black concerned eyes that are begging you to just listen to your mother for a moment.

The other line goes silent. Just for a few seconds.

“Jun had a seizure.”

To be continued.

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⇠ PREV. ⋆ MASTERLIST ⋆ NEXT ⇢

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a/n: and i hope everyone that hated on yn feels like a piece of shit😋🩷

— enjoyed it? you can always show your appreciation by buying me some coffee if you want ☕︎♡

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